Previously on Drag Race France the final six were tasked with forming two girl groups. UK3 style, with two different versions of the same song. This time with a rock edit replacing the ballad. While everyone kind of nailed the assignment, Soa well and truly ate the most and made us feel well and truly fed. Despite an all around strong week, somebody tragically had to be named as the bottom two with Paloma and Elips deemed the weakest. And after another novelty royalty-free lip sync, Elips sadly went home.
Backstage the dolls were gagged to find a very long-winded mirror message from Elips and while it was a bitch to clean for Paloma, it was super sweet and only added to the dolls feeling heartbroken for her. Everyone praised Paloma on killing the lip sync, and again, we didn’t hear the song, so we’ll trust them. Though, I do live for the idea of a season of novelty lip syncs only, right? Because the last one was an absolute bop!
The next day the dolls were giving air hostess realness as they returned, before congratulating Soa for winning her second challenge. Talk turned to what they’ll be facing next, with Paloma wanting an acting challenge given that is the only one she has won so far. Before we could hear anymore, the cock crowed to announce Nicky’s arrival to challenge the dolls with a little puppet mini challenge. Because everybody loves puppets. Big Bertha got puppet Lolita, Soa picked Paloma out of the Pit Crew’s box – swoon – Lolita got – Grande Dame, while Paloma got Bertha, leaving Grande Dame with Soa.
After dragging up their shady boots puppets – the France producers are iconic with Grande Dame’s loooooooong legs – Bertha gave the full Lolita fantasy in the best, verbal-diarrhoea way possible. Soa was a camp, dramatic delight as Paloma, she in turn was hilariously on point as Bertha. Lolita then stole the show, barely seeing over the puppet theatre as she bored the dolls with her impersonation of Grande Dame. Proving you don’t have to be good to steal a show. Though I guess Grande Dame also stole the show with her pitch perfect Soa yo-yo-yo, in the right way. So she truly stole things? Ultimately though, neither won the challenge as Nicky crowned Paloma.
The dolls then learned that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would have to name and brand their own perfumes, and then film a commercial. But more importantly, the Pit Crew returned looking hot AF with their boxes. As the winner of this week’s Mini Challenge, Paloma was able to allocate said boxea, gifting Bertha iridescent inspiration, Soa bamboo, Grande Dame leather, Lolita got pink sequins and keeping crushed velvet for herself.
With the boxes ready, Nicky departed and the girls unveiled them to find their perfume muses with Paloma, as expected, getting glamour and champagne. Bertha meanwhile got rainbow-clown chic. Minus the chic. Soa got the flavours of the Amazon jungle, Grande Dame’s was obviously leather daddy dom, while Lolita’s inspiration was disco influencer. Everyone started to work on their storyboards before Nicky returned to kiki with Paloma choosing to make fun of herself and the fact she isn’t Paloma Picasso. Bertha was going with the annoying-hen’s-party cliche, Soa planned to give office worker glamazons the scent to kill toxic masculinity. Grande Dame meanwhile was nervous about serving the challenge, while Nicky encouraged her to make it her own before Lolita shared she was planning to go hormonal teen pop star.
Soa was first to film her commercial and well, the Pit Crew were rocking skimpy panties, so I am wet. And she looked to be having fun. But honestly, how could you not? Grande Dame was hilarious as a mechanic, though she forgot to pack her perfume, so it could go either way. That being said, I love her. Paloma was a delight from start to finish, executing all her ideas and doing it perfectly. And then Lolita was a total boss, getting the Pit Crew in costume and living her best life. Bertha meanwhile was a drunk mess, and I love it.
Jour de l’elimination arrived with everyone talking about how they make their living. With Paloma and Grande Dame being full-time queens. As talk turned to how they got their start, Bertha admitted she was sick of getting dressed in bathrooms, while Soa only earnt $20 for her first gig. Bertha then opened up about how she started drag professionally after being diagnosed with cancer. She explained that drag gave her the bright light to look for at the end of the tunnel and something to work towards and fuck, why do I keep crying?!
Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy were joined by Yseult et Alexandre Mattiussi for the Haute Couture runway where La Grande Dame looked straight off the runway in an all black, corseted number with a Gaultier hat. Big Bertha draped nude sheer fabric over her like a caftan and while I love her body-positive message, it felt a bit lazy. Lolita came out on stilts to reach Grande Dame’s height, with a glamour pin cushion on her head. Soa was cool in black, leather and frills before Paloma closed the show with an iconic recreation of a 1920s fashion illustration.
When it came to the commercials, Grande Dame was a hetero mess in the most chrming way possible. Bertha was high energy and fun as the most amusing bachelorette. Lolita meanwhile made no sense, but I loved it. Soa knocked it out of the park as the boss bitch of the office. And then Paloma did one better, leaning into the stereotypes of perfume commercials like Alaska before her, and was just so silly and entertaining.
Grande Dame received universal praise for the runway though they wanted a little more sturcture in the commercial. Bertha meanwhile was read for her runway and for not taking the commerical where she wanted it to go. Lolita was praised for nailing the runway despite her simple commercial. Soa received universal praise for elevating all that she did this week, while Paloma received even better critiques than Soa, giving perfection in all that she did. Paloma then thanked Nicky for her kindness and support throughout the competition and ugh, I’m crying, Nicky’s crying and I love them all.
Nicky then pivoted and asked the shady question of who should go home toight with Grande Dame thinking it is Lolita’s time to go. Bertha agreed it should be Lolita, while Lolita identified Bertha. Very begrudgingly. Soa and Paloma then identified Lolita too, while she quietly cried on stage.
Backstage the dolls were still caught up in all the emotion with Lolita feeling like she doesn’t belong, while her sisters all tried to remind her how great she is and how much they have grown to love her. Lolita called everyone out for only just getting to know her recently, with Soa sharing that she is frustrated by the fact she always felt like she didn’t belong.
Ultimately Soa was deemed safe as Paloma secured her second win, while at the other end of the pack Grande Dame was deemed safe, leaving Bertha and Lolita to battle it out for safety to Yseult’s Corps. And well, I was not only gagged by the fact they paid for the international rights, because they turned it. Bertha emoted every single moment and was so powerful, but there was no beating Lolita who did a slow mo split while ripping off her wig before straight up shaving her head on stage. Bertha was stripping, Lolita stripped AND THEN THEY PERFORMED TOGETHER. Crying, hugging and oh my god, it was amazing. I was crying, they were crying, the judges were crying. It was, perfection. Or le-gend-daire, if you will.
Tragically despite the emotion felt by everyone, somebody had to go as Lolita saved herself and zaddy Bertha was tragically eliminated from the competition. As her sisters and the judges sobbed.
While it was heartbreaking to see her go, my second favourite platitude to offer the queens is that being a robbed goddess is often better than making the finale. And well, Bertha definitely fits the bill. She absolutely slayed every moment of the competition and while she didn’t win any challenges, I’d argue she didn’t really bomb any either. Which is reason enough for me celebrating her run with a La Big Breakfast Buritha.
My favourite thing in life is to turn any food into breakfast by cracking an egg on top and calling it a day, but I assure you, this is far more elevated. Crisp bacon, crunchy hashies and a fresh salsa work together to give you the best start possible to your day.
Enjoy!
La Big Breakfast Buritha Serves: 2.
Ingredients 4 hash browns 6 rashers streaky bacon, diced 6 eggs salt and pepper, to taste 1 tbsp butter 2 large tortillas ½ cup cheddar cheese, grated ⅔ cup Salsa Struthers
Method Start by cooking your hash browns as per packet instructions, or if homemade, until extra crispy.
Pop a skillet over medium heat and cook the diced bacon until nice and crispy. Transfer to a plate lined with paper towel to drain.
Whisk the eggs with a little bit of salt and a generous whack of pepper. Add the butter to the still hot pan and once melted and foamy, pour in the eggs. Agitate to form ripples on the base before gently stroking across the pan in different directions to form ribbons of delicately cooked egg. Once cooked to your liking, remove from the heat.
To assemble, sprinkle some cheese in the centre of each tortilla. Add the hash browns, egg, salsa and bacon, and no judgement if you sprinkle some more cheese on at this point. Fold in either side before rolling to form a nice enclosed pocket of goodness. And then, devour.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Survivor South Africa after swapping over to Yontau together, Dante and Palesa were ready to bond. And by bond, Dante felt like he had found himself another loyal ally, while Palesa bided her time to get rid of him. Dante meanwhile was focused on taking a shot at his nemesis Dino, while Shona, for reasons unknown, opted to join Yontau despite having a numbers disadvantage. Over at new Masu, Killarney was ready to join with the OGs and get revenge on her former tribe. After losing immunity Dino, Phil and Shona tried to fight from the bottom, but Phil got nervous and put a vote on Shona which sent her home over Dante.
Back at camp Phil was rightly feeling like a bonehead for voting out his ally, though blamed Shona for not pulling out her fake idol and causing chaos like she was meant to as a cue. Dante meanwhile was angry about Dino voting for him. And not only Dino, but also Meryl and Marian for not trusting him. While Meryl warned Phil that his fuck-up is going to unleash Dante’s full rage, suggesting it would have been better for everyone if he just voted Dante. Palesa meanwhile found it all hilarious, given she was the one quietly working to get rid of Dante, however now because of the chaos, he feels even closer to her than his original allies.
The next day Dino and Phil caught up by the well, with Dino so confused how the plan failed and disappointed to just be a dead man walking. While all Phil could do was apologise and to hope not to make another mistake soon. Palesa joined them and let her full frustrations be known, sick of the excuses and annoyed that other people’s mistakes are bringing her down. And preach. We ventured over to Masu where Tejan pulled Toni aside and shared the idol clue with her. However sadly as they started hunting around, Pinty walked in on them and put a stop to any and all proceedings.
My love Nico arrived for the latest immunity challenge where a caller would direct their blindfolded tribemates to collect puzzle pieces and then solve a word puzzle. First to finish getting immunity and a trip to the Fresh Stop Survivor Shop full of fried chicken, desserts and no doubt, an advantage. After Killarney almost put a stop to the challenge by fainting, she rallied and things kicked off. Well, for Yontau who nailed it as Dino quickly called them all to their pieces while Pinty wandered aimlessly and put Masu at a very large disadvantage. As Dino got to work on the puzzle, his tribe started cheering loudly to drown out Thoriso as she grew angrier and angrier as she tried to direct Toni to the final table. And then even angrier as Dino secured the win for the tribe.
The victors headed to the Survivor shop, featuring the usual one at a time twist – never forget Benji and the nachos – with Marian frustrated to draw the shortest straw and guarantee herself missing out on the chance for advantages. Meryl meanwhile was thrilled, smashing food while desperately hunting for an idol. While she didn’t jag one, she did find a tribal council pass hidden in a cake. And just like that, she is holding a lot of power. While everyone else also tried to hunt for an advantage, Phil and Marian just focused on the food and well, relatable.
Heading back to camp the two factions headed off to catch up with Dante still trying to find someone to blame for almost getting voted off. As Dante went to fume elsewhere with Palesa and lock in a tighter alliance, Meryl caught Marian up on the fact she found the tribal council pass. Adding to their alliance’s haul of all the possible advantages in the game, along with Steffi.
Back at camp Thoriso was heartbroken by Yontau’s dirty play at the challenge, while Felix felt they should all stop complaining since they did the same things in the mud pit. As the tribe sat around eating lunch, Steffi tried to portion out the food and got some sass from Pinty leading to her blowing up on Pinty instead. Then swiftly apologising. Toni meanwhile was busy playing both sides, telling Thoriso, Felix and Pinty she would join them to get rid of Killarney, while telling Steffi and Killarney the OG Masu’s will be working with Killarney to take out Pinty. Speaking of Pinty, she, Killarney and Steffi were awkwardly sitting around the fire and chatting about the vote. And all pretending they don’t have any plan for the night’s tribal council.
Steffi and Toni caught up, ready to take out Pinty and thrilled to have landed together on Masu 2.0 and form a new bond where they want to work together. Sadly for Steffi, Pinty was trying to rally the troops against her as should Steffi make it to the merge, she is going to the end. While she tried to drive home the importance of getting rid of Steffi, Thoriso had no interest, given she wants to get rid of the only other goat in the game Killarney. Because if that strategy is getting someone to the end, best believe it will be her. Felix and Tejan then caught up and well, neither of them were sure which was the right plan to go with.
At tribal council Toni spoke about how grateful she is to have landed on Masu 2.0, with Killarney admitting she finally has stuff in common with her tribemates. While Pinty likened it to starting at a new school and making new friends. Toni pledged her undying loyalty to Masu 2.0, with Felix talking about how weakness comes in many forms and how a social faux pas can ruin the vibe. Everyone admitted they were nervous about tribal, while Pinty admitted she just doesn’t want to get blindsided again. Killarney spoke about making the right decision for the entire tribe, which is what Pinty agreed was the best plan. While Tejan and Steffi just wanted the vote to strengthen them as a unit.
With that the tribe voted and Pinty’s fears were realised as she was blindsided from the game, as she asked everyone if they were the ones to turn on her. Pinty was disappointed as she arrived at Loser Lodge, though was also grateful to have gotten another shot at the game and to have made it further. Obviously I didn’t want to rock the boat with her given we have similar temperaments, so instead, we toasted her success with a big bowl of Pinkle Cut Fries.
Yes, yes – crinkle cut chips are only really special because of their shape and are no different to cooking chips. But like brownie pans that increase the edge pieces, the crinkle shape gives you an all around crunchier experience with the inside perfectly light and fluffy. So yeah, they good.
Enjoy!
Pinkle Cut Fries Serves: 2 dear friends.
Ingredients 500g starchy potatoes, peeled sunflower oil, for fryin’ salt, to taste
Method Use a crinkle-cutter to cut the potatoes lengthways into batons and rinse under cold running water to remove most of the starch.
Pop enough oil in a large wok or a deep fryer and bring to 130°C. Cook the chips in a few batches, agitating often and remove with a slotted spoon to drain on a paper towel.
Increase the oil to 180°C and repeat the process, this time cooking until golden and glorious. This double cook is the key to perfect crunch, and a fluffy inside. Remove with a slotted spoon again and drain on a new paper towel. Toss with copious amounts of salt and devour immediately.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Survivor South Africa the pre-merge returnees on Yontau managed to avoid the first tribal council. Sadly for them, it gave them plenty of time to create drama in the absence of scrambling. We had Pinty overeating and yelling at people, Tania righteously standing up to her bullying and most importantly, Thoriso lying about Tevin finding an idol. Though she was safe, given Tania kindly took the fall for her. After Yontau won immunity, Toni tried to rally the troops against Marian. Sadly for her, the threat of the Season 6 alliance loomed large and instead they blindsided Toni’s bestie PK.
Back at camp Tejan was disappointed to be on the wrong side of the numbers while Toni started to flip out on the alliance for making the wrong decision by voting out PK instead of her. This annoyed Dante who then yelled at her to calm down given she and PK being close is what put them in this position. She then pulled herself aside to try and calm down, with Meryl going to comfort her. Despite not really wanting to hear what was bothering Toni. They rejoined the tribe where Toni continued to talk about them making a bad decision before Marian spoke up and called her out for saying she is the weakest in the tribe, when she would actually describe Toni as such.
We then checked in with Yontau where Tevin was leading a discussion about where to sleep which obviously pissed off Pinty, given people now wanted to take her place by the fire when they spent the first few nights in the shelter. And well, everyone was kinda over her shit. Or maybe it is just me.
The next day we learnt Dino had fallen asleep and fell into the fire, burning his hands quite badly, though thankfully able to continue in the game. Though he will have to sit out some of the challenges. In non-burn related drama, Tania continued to complain about Pinty to Tevin and while he cautioned her to not let it bother her, otherwise she will be the one painting a target on her own back. And while she agreed that was the best move, she also worried she wouldn’t be able to stay quiet. Particularly since the rest of the tribe were also frustrated by Pinty’s attitude. Proven by the fact her allies Tevin and Seamus already questioned how long they’d be able to babysit her and keep her anger at bay.
Back at Masu things were slightly less dramatic as Toni and Dante apologised to each other, before they started a new argument and grew angrier and angrier. Toni exited camp in a rage, deciding that the best case was to swap ASAP and play at the bottom of a new tribe rather than deal with them anymore. On the flipside Meryl, Marian and Steffi hung out by the well, thrilled at their ability to play in the middle of the tribe and ready to go to the end together.
We finally checked in with my love Nico who returned for the latest immunity challenge where two people from each tribe would hold on to nets while the rest of their tribe would try and weigh down their rivals’ with sandbags. Dante and Steffi faced off against Thoriso and Felix as sack-holders, with the latter quickly becoming a target and dropping his bags first. This made Yontau turn their attention to Dante, who was loaded up while Steffi relaxed without a sandbag in her basket. As Dante struggled, Thoriso tried to stay zen and keep her tribe in the game. After Dante dropped, the girls battled it out as Thoriso edged closer and closer to the ground, eventually dropping and handing immunity to Masu.
The victors headed off to enjoy their breakfast reward, feeling nourished and energised. While they all tried to play it calm as they searched for an idol hidden at their table. Before throwing caution to the wind and openly hunting in front of each other. Sadly for them, it was pointless as everyone left empty handed.
Back at camp Yontau were on edge about their first tribal council, with Phil wanting to focus on keeping the tribe unified rather than strong. Which means Tania and Pinty are well and truly in trouble. Tevin pulled Tania aside to encourage her to clear the air with Pinty and lessen the target on her back, though given she wasn’t really interested in hearing what Tevin had to say, it could spell trouble for Tania. That being said she did try to talk to Pinty to apologise, while Pinty straight up ran away to leave Tania to further spiral in front of the tribe.
Felix admitted that he sees Pinty is quite the bully and is making camp difficult for everyone else, while Pinty tried to suggest Tania was making decisions based on her unstable emotions. Which is not cool. Everyone in the tribe quietly admitted both of them are causing chaos, though given they haven’t been to tribal council yet, the uncertainty of tribal lines made them nervous about which person was the safer option to take out.
The next day Tania was ready to fight and save herself by shutting up, while Killarney, Shona and Thoriso worried about her unpredictability. Right on cue Tania hid in the bushes behind them as they locked in the vote against her, but agreed they couldn’t be bothered dealing with the fallout of telling her. Not to worry though, as she then followed them back to camp and immediately didn’t shut up, calling them out for not having courage and tried to tell them that that will be what costs them the game. Rather than say approaching them with a counter plan.
Thoriso caught up with Seamus to fill him in on Tania’s latest chaotic moves, while Shona quietly put finishing touches on a fake hidden immunity idol which she planned to leave at tribal council for future use, should she need it. Seamus then caught up with Pinty, talking about the fact they were both the first boots from their tribe in their season, with Pinty trying to snatch the idol away from him to guarantee her safety. Meanwhile, out of nowhere, Phil and Felix started to float the idea of flipping the vote on Seamus instead. Oh and Tevin calmly watched on leaving Tania one final chance to flip the vote on Pinty, in which case he would gladly flip to get rid of her too.
At tribal council Tevin spoke about not loving being back at tribal council, particularly since nobody in their tribe has had the pleasure of enjoying the individual game. He spoke about Seamus having the idol and being glad he is guaranteed to survive a tribal council. Dino spoke about the obvious drama back at camp, identifying Tania as the biggest problem. This gave her the chance to throw Pinty under the bus, talking about how Pinty’s attitude is causing most of the drama. Pinty fought back, saying that Tania called her a greedy fucking pig, which was untrue due to the addition of fuck. As Tania remained calm, Pinty continued to fight back and was pretty harsh to poor Tania, which was really uncute.
Tania spoke about it needing to be either her or Pinty that goes home tonight, given their tension is an issue. And since most of the tribe walks around Pinty on eggshells, she thinks it should be her. Pinty continued to get super sassy as Tania made a last ditch plea, reminding people that one vote could mean everything in this game. Sadly though, it was all for nought, as Seamus played the idol on himself and the tribe banded together to get rid of Tania. Presumably to keep Pinty’s attitude around as an easy target for a swap. I assume.
As Tania arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she can exit the game with her head held high as once again, she stuck to her morals. And well, I can totally relate to not being able to hold my tongue when someone is being a jerk. I then had to admit something to her. Something tragic, which explains why the tribe opted to keep Pinty over Tania – the damn pizza curse. Despite loving Tania, I thought maybe someone iconic like her would be able to overcome it, but alas, instead, I cursed her game with my Tandooria Chickeland Pizza.
Hot and spicy, with a healthy slathering of raita, this little fusion is near perfection. Add in some chilli and sweet capsicum, and well, it is as wonderful as my love Tania.
Enjoy!
Tandooria Chickeland Pizza Serves: 2-4 dear friends, or Pinty.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor ⅓ cup passata oregano and basil, roughly chopped, to taste 4 tbsp tandoori paste 1 cup natural yoghurt 500g chicken breast, diced 1 tbsp olive oil 1 red onion, sliced 1 red capsicum, sliced mozzarella, to taste 2 tsp mint, roughly chopped ½ tsp chilli flakes 1 lebanese cucumber, seeded and grated salt and pepper, to taste
Method Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.
Combine the tandoori paste, two tablespoons of the yoghurt and chicken in a bowl, tossing to coat and leaving to marinate for 15 minutes. Once done, heat a lug of olive oil in a frying pan and cook the chicken until crisp and gorgeous.
Smear passata over the prepared bases, sprinkle of the herbs, onion, capsium and chicken, followed by a generous dose of mozzarella. Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.
While that is getting all hot, combine the yoghurt, mint, chilli flakes, cucumber and a good whack of salt and pepper.
Once the pizza is ready, drizzle with the raita and devour, greedily. Though not like a greedy little pig.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on All Winners the dolls were challenged with creating viral TikTok dances to sell their brand. Before that star-rich Trinity joked about wanting another star to poor single-starred Shea and Monet. While the last girl without being blocked Raja just desperately wanted to join the club. While everyone was strong in selling themselves and their brand, it was Jinkx with the least dance moves that stole the show as she hilariously made a sandwich. After following Ru’sMonet shone brightly, while Yvie gave moves that will totally be going viral. And obviously Raja was an icon. Because she is. Ultimately though it was Jinkx and Monet that landed in the top before they slayed the iconic spoken word lip sync from Designing Women. Monet’s usual schtick was enough to snatch the win over her sister before she gladly blocked an equally happy Raja.
Backstage the dolls were living their best lives, none more so than Monet who was just excited to finally have another star. And ever the competitive optimist, now she was looking to finish with the most. The Viv was proud of her sisters for serving spoken word, with Trinity more jealous that she couldn’t participate rather than not jagging a win. Talk turned to how Raja would take the fact there is no plunger secret, which obviously cued her entry. And damn was she hilarious as she entered pissed, frustrated and so cute as she called them all cunts. I feel like a broken record, but the moment was iconic. Trinity then pointed out that Jinkx and Jaida are now in front with three stars each before congratulating Jinkx on winning 4 mother tucking challenges. Shea and Monet meanwhile were talking about their uphill battle to make it to the end before Jinkx sweetly dropped by and told them that if anyone could win the last two challenges and make it, it is Shea.
And Monet, which obviously made Shea feel less special.
The next day Kennedy Davenport hijacked Rumail to announce that the Kennedy Davenport Center Honors nominees were about to be named. Which was all explained when Ru arrived, as for this week’s Maxi Challenge they were all tasked with roasting their fellow nominees – or sisters – in honour of the iconic Kennedy Davenport. In front of Ronan Farrow, no less. More importantly, the order would be decided by fate as the pit crew arrived for a little mini challenge where the queens would have to pop a balloon against one of the zaddies bums. With the colour of the confetti in their balloon deciding their position. In the challenge, obviously.
Jaida topped her way to 7th place, Trinity thrust into 5th, Jinkx struggled her way into 4th – insert they’re all bottoms joke here – Monet quickly fucked into 6th, Yvie jagged 2nd, Shea busted into 3rd, while Raja brought sexy back before dominating her man into first. Leaving The Viv to close the show without even needing to pop her cherry. Though bless, she was still allowed.
After everyone had a cigarette and calmed down, they split up to work on their sets with Jinkx confident to be playing within her wheelhouse. Though kindly asked her sisters if there was anything off limits she should avoid. Jinkx admitted she was struggling to write for The Viv, while The Viv was more concerned about her jokes getting lost in translation. Shea, Trinity, Yvie and Jaida caught up, with Shea scared about getting enough stars by the finale, while Jaida and Yvie were terrified about popping their roast cherries. Though Yvie was ready to do her best. Jinkx and Monet joined the fray, with the latter reminding everyone she won the All Stars roast. And that Trinity lost. Badly. She meanwhile was nervous about overcoming one of her weaknesses, with Jinkx offering to pay her back for her design challenge kindnesses and help her out in any way possible.
Shea was first to run through her set with Ross and Solomon Georgio and was so damn charming. While Jaida just tried to flatter her way through it all, Monet was in her element, Raja was cruel and totally silly and I love it. The Vivienne unwisely looked to be reading Ru, while Jinkx was having the time of her life. Trinity slowly started to get out of her head and power through the nerves, while Yvie was just being Yvie. In the highest of all compliments.
Performance Day arrived as everyone split up to beat their mugs, with Yvie ready to be read though unsure what people will be able to find to say about her. Monet meanwhile wanted everyone to go in on her, hard, while Shea was just terrified given if she doesn’t win this challenge, it is highly unlikely she has a path to get to the end. Monet and Trinity meanwhile pulled themselves aside to strategise who to block and while they thought they were being super subtle, everyone knew what was up. And well, Jinkx was thrilled to call them out about it. Again. Raja and Yvie meanwhile wanted to catch their way up, while Jinkx grew panicked about potentially being blocked tonight, given it could cost her making it to the end. And she really wants to beat her competition bestie Monet in the end.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Ronan Farrow on the judges panel as the dolls made their way to the stage to open the Kennedy Davenport Center Honors Hall of Shade. Where icon Peppermint’s daughter Wintergreen gave the introductory address, a monologue delivered by Kennedy herself during her runs on the show. Which was everything. Raja opened the show and as usual, she was absolutely delightful and living her best life, as she just straight up vibed. Yvie went low and was oh so good and Shea was stunning as she charmingly destroyed her sisters before Jinkx absolutely dominated from start to finish, weaving big dicks and incest into an epic set. I mean, that timing! Trinity meanwhile did a killer job with zinger after zinger before Monet read her for filth for it, and then eviscerated all of her sisters. And it was so damn good. Jaida was cute and charming, despite her nerves. Well, until she just started reading herself, then she was gold. Before The Viv closed the show in brutal fashion. And it was perfect.
On the All Glowed Up runway Raja was stunning as an iridescent butterfly, Yvie was perfection as an illuminated mushroom patch, Shea was a gorgeously shimmering sunflower and Jinkx was a gloriously burning witch and ugh, it was amazing. Trinity was a neon carnival delight, Monet served sexy solar system realness, Jaida was a beautiful mermaid, though after dark, before The Vivienne closed the show as a gorgeous rainbow angel.
Before critiquing the dolls, Ru announced that this week the rules would be changing and nobody would be getting blocked. Since they want everyone on a level playing field for the final challenge. More importantly, the judges lived for how mean Raja was in the roast and for looking architectural and stunning on the runway. Yvie received praise for sticking to her vibe and serving a gorgeous runway. Shea meanwhile received universal praise for her stunning runway and for bringing power to her roast. Jinkx was obviously universally beloved, even though the judges had epically high expectations for her. Oh and they lived for her concept on the runway. Trinity too was universally beloved, from the roast to the runway and well, this was redemption. The judges lived for everything Monet gave them in the roast and for serving something classy and creative on the runway. While Jaida was clearly nervous in the challenge, they lived for how she powered through but more importantly, they thought her runway was absolutely perfect. Oh and the obviously adored The Viv for being dominant in every facet of the week.
Backstage Trinity was thrilled to finally deliver in a roast on the show while Wintergreen straight up shot the show in drag. Until the girls convinced her to join them for a kiki, and encouraged her to take Wintergreen out on the road. Wintergreen in turn praised the girls for all that they do and how hard they work. Everyone donned their dressing gowns, grateful to be out of the runways given they were so uncomfortable. Yvie thanked everyone for being such killer artists and making them all better. Everyone praised Trinity for finally turning things around, while she pointed out that everyone is great. Particularly Shea, who didn’t even have notes. Shea in turn pointed out that while she is last place when it comes to stars, she has had such a fun journey with everyone that it doesn’t even matter to her.
Ronan Farrow then dropped by and well, I want his suit so badly. It was killer. As was Jinkx wanting to bone him. So badly.
Ultimately it was Jinkx and Trinity that landed in the top before battling it out to Ava Max’s Kings & Queens. And well, Jinkx was a camp and poppy delight and it was oh so unexpected, I lived for every damn minute out it. Trinity was obviously on point with the comedy and all the lyrics, but there was no taking your eyes off Jinkx. I mean, she even did a damn cartwheel. Almost. Which proved to be enough to give her the ultimate win and net her another $10K.
Given how well she did in the challenge, it was kind of awkward to pull The Vivienne aside for some commiserations. Given she did THAT. That being said, she was disappointed to not land in the top, though the sight of her favourite scouser – me – made her feel so much better. I reminded her that like Raja, Shea and Monet before her, the number of wins and stars really don’t matter, given she has been so damn strong all season. I mean, the level of talent has been insane and The Vivienne has been the one to shine brightest. Which gave me the perfect excuse to reward her fire with equally fiery The Vivikorean Fire Pockets.
Another Brendan Pang number from Masterchef, these barely tweaked delights are the ultimate snack. Earthy, sweet and oh-so-spicy, they are the perfect snack for a cold rainy day or with an ice cold beer in the sweltering heat. So, like, whenever, I guess?
Enjoy!
The Vivikorean Fire Pockets Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 cups plain flour, plus extra for dusting 1 cup water salt, to taste 500g chicken mince 4 shallots, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp gochujang 1 tbsp light soy sauce 1 tsp rice wine vinegar 1 tsp ground white pepper 1 tsp Korean chilli flakes ½ tbsp minced ginger ½ tsp raw caster sugar ½ tsp sesame oil 1 cup grated vintage cheddar vegetable oil, for fryin’
Method Combine the flour and water in a bowl with a good pinch of salt, mixing with a fork until it has all come together. Transfer to a lightly floured surface and knead until nice and elastic. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and leave to rest for about half an hour.
Pop the chicken, shallots, garlic, gochujang, soy, vinegar, pepper, chilli, ginger, sugar and sesame oil in a larger bowl and scrunch with your hand until well combined.
Divide the dough into 8 portions and working one at a time, roll them out into a 20cm round. Place a couple of tablespoons of filling into the centre and top with a tablespoon of cheese. Working with your index finger and thumb, fold the dough towards the centre on top to enclose, pleating as you go until sealed. Place on a lined plate or baking sheet and repeat the process until done.
When it comes time to cook, heat a couple of tablespoons of the vegetable oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Once nice and hot, place half the pockets in, pleated side down, and cook for about five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Flip and repeat the process for another five minutes. Transfer to a lined plate and add a little extra cheese to gently melt over the pleats and repeat the process with the remaining pockets.
Then obviously, serve immediately with a drizzle of Korean chilli oil. Before devouring. Greedily.
Previously on Survivor South Africa 146 castaways lined up to play across 8 seasons and while their were countless iconic moments – Chappies nude scenes, for instance – and blindsides, only 8 people walked away as winners while 136 exited the game as losers. Well, assuming my maths is correct. Which, TBH, it probably isn’t. In any event, it did lead us here, with zaddy Nico, to welcome back 20 castaways returning for a shot at redemption. Or more likely, to get their torch snuffed once again.
The castaways jetted in on speed boats where we learnt that the Yontau would be made up of pre-merge boots like Shona who was not thrilled to be on a tribe with chaotic players like Tania and Pinty. Thankfully the iconic Tania was ready to learn from her mistakes and take the back seat, while Killarney was thrilled to be a mystery to her fellow castaways given she played so long ago. And trust and believe, she will be using it to her advantage. Over on Masu who all made it to the merge on their first go around, Steffi wasn’t thrilled to be competing with Chappies given he was a dirty little food thief, while Meryl was thrilled to be reunited with her former ally Dante. Despite the fact it clearly makes them both targets. PK was nervous to see Tevin on the rival tribe, given he had already blindsided him once before while Marian and Shane were thrilled to be reunited. And hopeful their season was old enough that they would be considered unknowns.
And did I mention Queen Palesa is back? Because, work.
The two tribes’ boats docked on the shore and met up with Nico where Seamus was thrilled to be back and glad that he can’t place worse than his first go around, which is a very good point. Thoriso is glad to be a returnee despite not making the merge or playing well, while Tejan was nervous to be back after 11 long years. And Chappies was shitting his pants with excitement to be back after a matter of months, though also knew it was concerning as he is very fresh in people’s minds. Tevin meanwhile was ready for revenge on the two people that voted him out, while Marian pointed out that while she made the merge, nobody made the finale and as such, they all have something to prove. And yes, Queen Marian.
Oh and then Nico dropped the goss that they’d be playing for 2 million rand and well, they were overjoyed. Particularly Chappies, since it makes his loss make more sense, since he was destined for the double prize. Obviously.
Nico then warned them that they would have to earn that increased prize with the most intense season ever. And to prove it, they were put to the test in their first reward challenge for a flint. And said challenge would be a repeat of the Season 7 – and many US and Australian seasons too – classic where in pairs, they would have to race and collect a ring from a pole and get it back to their tribe pole, with the first team to three winning. And if the boys start pulling at each other’s clothes Australian style, we win.
Killarney and Thoriso were first up facing Palesa and Steffi, the latter of whom had an injured ACL and was worried she wouldn’t be able to replicate her dominant performance on her first season. Thankfully for her and Masu, she still made easy work of the challenge and jagged their first point without even breaking a sweat. Chappies and Dante faced off against Felix and Seamus and damn did they put up a fight. While Seamus was first to the ring, Chappies brutally tackled him before they all snuggled in a puddle and while their pants stayed on, I still ship them. Oh and then Dante made a break and scored a second point for Masu. But never forget the cuddle puddle. Tevin and Pinty battled Toni and Tejan to keep them in the game, which they did as Tevin darted out of the fray and scored the first point for Yontau. Meryl and Marian then played for the game against Tania and Shona and while they were confident, Tania and Shona put up a valiant fight, wrestling their rivals until they dragged them to the Masu pole and scored reward for their fellow post-merge returnees.
We followed Yontau back to camp where the tribe were shocked by how minimal their supplies were, while Thoriso was busy focusing on the fact their trees had symbols on them. Hopeful they would lead her to an idol. While Dino was just terrified about how little they had. Meanwhile at Masu, Dante was hoping to learn from his mistakes and keep all his options open and build relationships with everyone. The first apparently being with Chappies as the duo bonded over being strong challenge beasts and honestly, a little bit of fangirling. And since Chappies knows Steffi from outside the game, he was confident they would be a strong trio. Speaking of Steffi, she and Marian were gossiping about PK, Tevin and Toni all having matching tattoos and being close, and as such, decided they should get rid of PK ASAP. Which I assume means Marian is also in the alliance with Steffi, Chappies and Dante, whether she likes it or not. Toni and PK meanwhile pulled Tejan in and were ready to pull in Palesa as their fellow Season 6 player.
Over at Yontau Tania was trying to fight her instincts and stay calm, which meant she immediately approached Thoriso and Pinty to align. Then Killarney. Completely aware that she was sliding back into panicked Tania. Dino and Seamus meanwhile were bonding over how weird it was to be back, with Seamus opening up about how hard he was on himself after being booted first and how it has taken him a long time to heal. Back at camp Shona was suggesting they watch the sunset, though she cautioned they avoid smashing an unripe pineapple as they relaxed, in case it makes their stomachs sore. Which in turn made Pinty slip back into her old ways and get angry, before she went for a walk and calmed down, knowing she needs to keep it in check if she wants to win.
We returned back to Masu where Meryl, Marian and Steffi snuck away to lock in an alliance, with Shane and Dante pulled in with their pairs. And then Chappies became their arbitrary sixth person after Steffi pulled him in. Which made her nervous, given she didn’t want her loyalty outside of the game – since they know each other – to ruin how she plays. Meanwhile Dante was on the hunt for an island wife with PK, as Marian was thrilled to date Dante. We then learnt that she and PK briefly dated a decade ago and while he thinks everything is all good between them, she was more than ready to cut him and get her revenge for being sketchy to her. Which is the kind of drama I live for.
The next day the Masu six were left alone at camp, shocked by their luck to openly strategise against the other four and figure out how to dismantle their bonds and take complete control. Meanwhile Palesa, Toni and PK were down by the beach with Toni feeling nervous about their position in the game and unsure how they will survive should they lose the first challenge. That being said, PK is busy painting the target on his back and that is enough for her to feel a little at ease given he clearly would go first.
We returned back to Yonatu where Tevin was ready to make a name for himself and not get stuck into his perceived trio with Toni and PK. As such, he approached Seamus and quickly locked him in as a number.
Back at Masu Shane was feeling confident in his alliance with Marian, despite the fact they haven’t even spoken. She then pointed out a symbol on a tree next to camp, leaving him to dig around the roots to see if he could find anything, while she darted off to loop in Dante.
The tribes then received treemail directing them to select two people to go on a journey to the Outpost where they would have to negotiate for supplies. Which obviously made everyone super nervous and paranoid. After much deliberation, Yontau selected to send Seamus and Thoriso to go on their behalf while Masu opted for Shane and Steffi. The latter of whom being selected by drawing the short straw. Much to Toni and Palesa’s disappointment.
As the foursome arrived at the Outpost they learnt they would be able to select two supplies for each tribe, with Shane offering for them to go first in the hope they selected flint and he and Steffi could jag what they wanted. Sadly for them Seamus bluffed and immediately selected rice, leaving Masu to get lentils and pap, while Yontau opted for the flint as their second choice. Before being dismissed, they read another note announcing that the four of them would now have to vote for somebody back at camp to receive the Outpost’s idol, the catch being it was only valid for the first tribal council. And should it be a tie, the tied players would draw rocks. And should the owner of the idol win immunity, they would still attend tribal council and play it at the other tribe’s tribal council. Which is quite the power, TBH.
The couples tried to outsmart each other, with Masu willingly pointing out their weakest while Yontau wisely opted to keep things quiet. Despite the fact Thoriso would have liked to keep to give Steffi and Shane something to keep her options open with them moving forward, but Seamus wasn’t interested. Which begged the question, has he learned as much from his first experience as I thought? Steffi and Shane received a heroes welcome as they arrived back at camp with all the food, while Palesa wondered what else they won at the Outpost. While they were tragically honest about the idol vote, proving it is never good to do these things. Back at Yontau, however, everyone believed every word Thoriso and Seamus said, so maybe sometimes you can win.
That night at Masu, Chappies got up to his usual overnight fun and started digging for an idol before he was quickly joined by Steffi. Sadly for the duo, however, Dante woke up and saw them, quickly looping in Palesa. Which you know can only mean trouble. The next morning, Dante pulled the Season 6 crew aside to let them know about Chappies and keep the target on him, as everyone agreed they didn’t want to deal with all that paranoia. Though Toni did admit that if Chappies isn’t being paranoid, someone else probably would be instead. But she is happy to have a target on someone else’s back. Meanwhile at Yontau Tevin, Dino, Pinty and Seamus caught up to see what they would do should they go to tribal council and while nobody was willing to name a name – despite the obvious Tania – they all appeared to be a little frozen by going out early their first time and are trying to hold firm until something big happens.
Speaking of something big, the tribes met up with Nico for the first immunity challenge where we learnt Seamus and Thoriso were way smarter than their post merge counterparts, loading their votes on Tevin while the Masus voted for Tania. Who tragically lost the following rock draw, giving Tevin all the power at the upcoming tribal council whether they win immunity or not. But back to the challenge, where they would have to break through a reed wall, use a monkey fist to release puzzle pieces, build a ladder, unlock or unite other ladders and then maneuvre their way through and over obstacles to light a flame at a tower at the end of the course.
Yontau got out to the earliest of leads, no doubt with the fire to guarantee one of them doesn’t go out pre-merge again (yet). After Pinty whipped through the knots, PK opted to unlock the ladders which only put them further behind. As Masu desperately tried to close the gap, Yontau slotted the final ladders in and lit their torch and secured themselves immunity. Guaranteeing one of the post-mergers would become a first boot. Just like Seamus in the Philippines.
Back at camp Yontau were living their best lives, with Tania more than happy to shamelessly celebrate the fact their rivals finally get to feel what it is like to truly be an outcast in the game. Seamus put his foot in his mouth again, pointing out that Masu tried to give their weakest player the idol and the strategy backfired anyway, before Phil and Shona stepped to say it was the other tribes perception and that they all love Tania and know she is a powerhouse. Proving to be far more adept than she is given credit for, Tania admitted that she knows she was likely going to be the first boot from their tribe, though is grateful nobody ever made her feel she would be. Which earned a lot of sympathy, and likely change some people’s minds. Assuming she is playing 5D chess like I’m implying. Tevin brought up the idol of it all, asking the tribe what they think he should do and while he appeared open to ideas, he is totally protecting PK, right?
We caught up with Masu where Shane was heartbroken to have lost immunity while Marian was frustrated that the tribe weren’t working together. More specifically, PK’s ego was the thing that got in the way of their victory. She and Meryl knew Tevin would likely be playing his idol for PK and Toni, leading to them joining up with Dante, PK, Toni and Tejan, with Toni and Dante floating getting rid of Chappies and splitting the vote on Shane. Which didn’t make Meryl and Marian feel comfortable, though they kinda felt like there was no other option.
As Dante, Marian and Meryl caught up with Steffi and Chappies to lock in the vote against Shane. Though it was very clear Dante was still ready to cut Chappies. Shane then caught up with Meryl and Steffi to loop then in on how sketchy he feels Dante is – since Shane has been watching him like a hawk – wanting to flip the vote on him instead. And while he assured them this would be the only thing he orchestrates, Meryl now felt he was a little too sketchy. Particularly as he continued to push for Dante. While poor Chappies admitted he was just trying to stay calm and hold firm.
We checked back in with Yontau were the tribe seemed to agree that Tevin should give his idol to Palesa, while Felix put his neck on the line to try and advocate for Dante. Which Tevin admitted was a good idea, given how loyal he is.
At tribal council Shane spoke about how difficult this season is, particularly since everyone is trying to rectify their mistakes from previous games. Shane then admitted that battle lines have been drawn since day two, while Toni wished she realised that had happened. She then spoke about focusing on Survivor 101 and sticking to their word, reminding them that flipping and lying so soon paints a target on your back. Steffi spoke about losing the challenge because they were fractured, while Tejan cautioned them not to give too much away, given they have an audience. Chappies reiterated that Tevin could throw a spanner in the works, while Meryl pointed out he has three Season 6 castaways he would clearly protect with the idol. While Toni and Marian awkwardly whispered before getting caught by Nico.
Nico then explained how the idol process would work, with Masu voting before Tevin would go and anonymously vote for who he would give immunity to. Oh and to help make his decision, he was able to ask his own questions of the tribe. He then opted for chaos, asking Steffi and Shane why they told the Yontau duo to vote for Tejan to get immunity. Which made everyone annoyed, asking why that was left out of their post-Outpost recap and why they decided he was on the bottom. Until Marian thankfully calmed them all down and reminded them that Tevin just wanted to create drama and as such, they all need to calm down.
With that the tribe voted before Tevin voted for the immunity and headed back to camp. Nico then collected the votes and announced that Palesa was immune before the votes rolled in between Shane and Chappies with Shane throwing out a single vote for Dante. Which ultimately saved himself from a tie and sent Chappies from the game as the first boot. With not even a single nude season to his name. Tragically.
Chappies was heartbroken as he arrived back at Loser Lodge, though admitted he was still happy to have gotten a second chance to play the game. I reminded him that I still loved him – despite the lack of nudity – and while he is the first boot, it happened because he came in with such a massive target on his back. And well, if it was good enough for Tina Wesson to go from first to worst, it should be good enough for him. Particularly knowing how she dominated on her third go. With that, he was well and truly perked back up and gladly toasted him success over a big bowl of Cheeseburger Chappies.
There is nothing I love more than turning a cheeseburger into another style of food and well these little babies are one of the best you can have. Yeah sure, these lean more towards the side of being a croquette, but who cares when they taste this good? Nobody.
Enjoy!
Cheeseburger Chappies Serves: 2 dear friends.
Ingredients 500g beef mince ½ cup American Cheese, grated 4 dill pickles, finely chopped 1 tsbp ketchup 1 tbsp American mustard ½ tsp onion powder ½ tsp garlic powder salt and pepper, to taste 2 cups flour 1-2 eggs, lightly whisked 2 cups panko breadcrumbs olive oil for drizzlin’ or olive oil spray
Method Pop the mince, cheese, pickles, ketchup, mustard, onion and garlic powders in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper and scrunch until well combined. Form the mixture into chips and place on a lined baking sheet. Cover and place in the fridge to set for an hour or so.
Preheat the oven to 200C.
Place the flour in a bowl, the eggs in another and the breadcrumbs in a third. Take the chips out of the fridge and working one at a time, dip in the flour, then the egg followed by the panko until well coated. Repeat the process until done.
Once all the chips are gorgeously covered, pop them back on a lined baking sheet, drizzle or spray with oil and transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and crisp on the outside.
Once cooked, served immediately with your fave burger condiments before devouring.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on All Winners Jinkx explained she blocked Viv for being on an upward trajectory and hoped to stop her dead in her tracks. She then handed her extra star over to Jaida, while Raja gave the universe balance as she handed hers over to Yvie. For the Maxi Challenge, the dolls performed in a Y2K Girl Groups challenge, with The Viv bringing the drama when Raja, Monet, Shea and Trinity formed their own group and left everyone else to form the other. That is until they came up with a killer, challenge winning concept and absolutely destroyed the performance. After everyone gave their best Dolly on the runway, Viv and Yvie landed in the top two and after turning an epic show, Viv won the lip sync and then promptly blocked Jinkx for the second time.
Backstage Yvie was feeling her oats after going from 0 to 2 stars in the span of an episode and now being a front runner, while Raja kindly pointed out that she is now also first in line to get blocked. Jinkx then came in here lookin’ like that – thanks Monet – and admitted she is feeling a little bit pressed by being blocked for the second time, particularly since she and The Viv were on the same team. The Vivienne rightly explained that she was just as pissed to miss out on her second star – which Jinkx pointed out happened to her and Trinity already – though Jinkx is truly the frontrunner and as such, she is content with her choice. And well, Jinkx admitted she is glad to be leading the way through the competition with another first to her name.
Like an icon.
Things were far more chill the next day, while Monet was feeling disappointed to be away from her home AND gorgeous cat Colleen. She and Shea were also missing being in the top, but well, maybe this week will be their time? Conveniently Ru returned to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be designing a signature look inspired by one of Ru and Zaldy’s eight favourite looks. As the winner of last week’s challenge, The Vivienne was first to pick her look going for the Despy’s Ru, Trinity then picked the Season 8 promo, Monet selected The Facekini look, Shea snatched the Sugar Ball look, Jaida then went with the Divas tribute to Diana Ross before Yvie jagged Supermodel of the World – which Raja desperately wanted – while Jinkx got the Down Under promo look. Meaning poor Raja was stuck with the Born Naked promo look. Which she promised to devour all the same.
Everyone split up to start designing their looks with Trinity confident in her peplum gown choices, while Raja just marvelled at how quickly she can pull together concepts and then execute them. And as such, she tried to make her second guess herself because, sabotage. Like a damn icon. Jaida meanwhile was feeling golden and looking forward to jagging her third star and overtaking Jinkx and Yvie as the sole frontrunner. As Raja was ripping her fabric, she was delighting Shea with the ASMR of it all. And you know, the fire in her butt. Yvie was feeling a little lost, while Jaida spun in circles and got dizzy – for real. Jinkx joked about The Vivienne making a bad choice by blocking her rather than one of the sewers, though was hopeful to improve on her last outfit and finally make something that she would like to wear. And well, she may not get a star but she would love the chance to revenge block The Vivienne. Monet too was unhappy about yet another design challenge, which, relatable.
Ru dropped by to kiki with the girls, talking through their looks with Yvie joking about being born the year Supermodel of the World was released, so was glad she got to jag it. And well, her plan to make massive pants on the way to literally flipping the outfit to become Supermodel of the Underworld is inspired. Just like her sister Willow. Monet admitted she picked her inspo because it was the episode she first lip synced in the competition. Oh and she was going to go the club kid route, complete with hats. And well, this could be interesting. Shea was going to be making a print on the fabric from scratch – wild – while Raja was disappointed to not get her first choice, though she was happy with the one she got and was ready to go full roped, white Mad Max.
As Ru left, Yvie continued to work on her pants and started to worry about her lack of speed when it comes to sewing. Monet meanwhile was worried about how big her head was, along with her fundamental lack of atelier skills. On the flipside, Jinkx was looking forward to breaking her curse and making something nice. Until she tried to put it on and realised she glued the fabric to the bodysuit at its smallest size and had to start over. But well, Jinkx’s high on glue hysteria was a delight and I could watch this on a loop, TBH. Yvie meanwhile absolutely killed her pants, as Shea looked around and realised that she is far and away the furthest behind the pack. And needed to hurry.
Runway Day arrived with Jinkx feeling good about her designed look, while Trinity was living for Jaida’s design. As The Viv beat her mug, Trinity slid on over to help Shea finish her outfit before jumping over and finishing Monet’s and hot damn, is she the Miss Congeniality? Raja’s look meanwhile was a white delight and she was absolutely living for it and did not give a shit what anyone else thought about it. Which is good, because the Twinners were not vibing with it. Talk then turned to who they think they should block, with Trinity leaning towards Yvie despite Monet more than willing to block Jinkx again. Jaida and Yvie meanwhile knew they had massive targets on their back for a blocking, with Jaida hoping to top two her way to safety. Though given Trinity literally works down to the wire making more and more perfection, she is clearly going to have a fight on her hands.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by the iconic Betsey Johnson on the judging panel as the dolls debuted their legendary Legendary Legends Looks with Yvie looking straight up perfect in her orange pants complete with pink bodice and ALL the ruffles. The Viv served drama in her sexy golden gown, Shea was vintage glamour for a Sunday drive in her pink cheetah look. Trinity served a full on dramatic gown and well, it was stunning and the fact she made that in a day is just wild. Raja was punk perfection, while Jinkx actually delivered a full on gorgeous saloon girl look before Jaida stole the damn show in a golden showgirl, disco look. And well, Monet served a Pollack masked bodysuit. And it was GOOD.
The judges lived for how Yvie managed to distil Ru through her aesthetic and for making such polished pants. And obviously Betsey loved her chaotic vibe. The Vivienne received universal praise for her mug and for adding so many beautiful details to the look. Betsey loved Shea turning Ru’s look rocker and for bringing all the fun to the runway. Before Shea thanked Trinity for helping her finish the outfit. Speaking of Trinity, the judges loved literally every thing she served on the runway this week. And for the fact she made it in the workroom. In a day. Raja’s look was praised for giving something completely different and still looking perfect. Jinkx was rightly praised for serving such a polished look before Jaida far and away stole the judges hearts. From the cut, to the vibe and all the polish, she is far and away their number one this week. And it’s what she deserves. And Monet was also beloved, for being a clash of dumb and beautiful and damn am I proud of her and Jinkx this week!
Backstage everyone was feeling confident in their performance before Raja admitted to shoplifting from Betsey Johnson’s store when she was a kid. Everyone praised Shea’s mug and lived for The Vivienne, before Trinity admitted she wasn’t sure about Raja’s look though admitted the end product took her breath away. Jaida meanwhile praised Trinity for helping all of the girls get their looks over the line, which allowed Trinity to open up about feeling how close they all are and that she just wants everyone to shine. And well, everyone has been helpful throughout the competition. Talk turned to who will be joining Jaida in the top, with everyone thinking it is Trinity’s to lose before Raja wisely asked everyone to talk about their track records. Painting a target on Jaida and Yvie’s back for having multiple stars and no blocks, keeping the heat off herself like a wise doll. Trinity asked what everyone’s strategy is with blocking, with everyone honestly super confused about which way to go.
Jaida turned the conversation to who is everyone’s biggest competition, identifying Trinity, The Viv and Jinkx as the frontrunners, with Trinity countering Jaida and Yvie are now frontrunners and having that late breaking momentum is always a good thing. She then furthered things by pointing out Shea, Monet and Raja have probably been the most consistent competitors however, and honestly could have been the top any week. Talk turned to their most iconic looks in her first season with Trinity living for her Club Kid look AND the fact she couldn’t even blink because she glued her eyes. Jaida loved her Stars and Stripes and Jinkx’s fave was her roast look.
Oh and then Betsey Johnson arrived and admitted she hurt her ankle doing a split on the mainstage and officially joined the Eureka, Victoria, Kornbread club! Proving it is a club for icons only.
Ultimately it was Trinity that joined Jaida in the top and as soon as Jessie J’s I Want Love kicked off, they were both hungry for the outright win. Trinity was sexy and sultry, Jaida was bringing the drama and using every inch of the stage. Trinity started doing flips and splits, but when she literally bit Jaida’s arse, it was clear it was her win. And given she is being the congenial icon of the season, she stuck to her word and blocked the only other eligible 2-star holder, Yvie. Since giving Jinkx her third would be cruel.
Backstage Trinity was thrilled to finally grab a second star and pocket some cash, while Jinkx quickly pointed out that Jaida is the first person to make it to three stars. Which obviously made her remind Trinity and Jinkx that they too should have three too, if blocks weren’t a thing. Speaking of the blockages, Yvie arrived to find out why she got blocked with Trinity explaining that she just couldn’t block Jinkx again and as such, went with the only eligible person with two stars. YOU SEE, I was right. Talk turned to track records, with Monet, Viv and Shea terrified about how they will be able to get into the finals given there are only four more chances to win. While Monet and Shea were just feeling super awks given they started so strong and then kinda faded into the back. Which isn’t true, but I know what they mean.
The next day Raja continued to live her best life while Jinkx was just delightfully on her own planet. Before Monet could get dressed into black or white like the rest of the dolls, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in the new hit movie Santa’s School for Girls. A mashup of Christmas movies, horror and Mean Girls. And since Trinity won, she would be assigning the roles. After Ru left, the dolls split up to read through the script with Trinity trying to play things fairly by giving everyone one of their options. Well, except for when Monet realised Jinkx would kill the role and stole it out from under her to effectively block her from her next star. Because Jinkx’s audition they were forced to do was WAY better than Monet.
Everyone split up to talk through their plans for the characters with Viv keen to go full Joan Crawford, while Raja was looking to tap into her kooky goth vibes and be disinterested, packed full of angst and ugh, I can’t wait to see it. Jaida and Yvie meanwhile were worried about going up against such talented actors, though Jaida did admit she could easily see a path to the finals for herself so doesn’t really care. Trinity braved up to talk to Jinkx and apologise for not giving her the role she wants, but given Jinkx is a damn star, she was ready to kill her dud anyway. And steal all of the spotlights.
The dolls joined Ru and Janicxa Bravo – writer and director of Zola – on set as Ru forced The Vivienne to break because she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Which is always a good sign. Yvie, Jinkx and Trinity bounced off each other well, Monet was charming as hell, Jaida committed to every moment while Raja absolutely devoured the scenery as she relished in the bad girl persona.
Runway Day arrived with everyone splitting up to act a fool before Shea suggested The Viv should use some new dance moves in the lip sync. Because she slayed and was totally in the top. Raja too was feeling her oats – and maybe pissing on herself – before Trinity reminded everyone that only two people have never been blocked, which obviously made Jaida point out that since she is probs in the top four anyway, why would they continue to block her since nothing will stop her. Which obviously led to everyone arguing all of the arguments to avoid being blocked. Oh and then Shea and Trinity reenacted victims in horror movies, which added nothing but was super fun.
Janicxa stuck around to join Ru, Michelle and Ross on the judges panel as the dolls stomped the Knitty Knitty Bang Bang runway. The Vivienne looked stunning in a plated wool gown which was just so stunning. Shea was bright, covered in rings and a coat and ugh, it was perfect. Yvie gave fiery hippie alien priestess, Jinkx was gorgeous with a golden old Marlene Dietrich inspired gown while Trinity was pretty in purple. Monet was so damn fun in a striped knitted street outfit while Jaida was so damn cute serving full Big Comfy Couch realness. Oh and then Raja stole the show giving golden warrior robot in a knitted gown. When it came to the challenge, having a director that cared in the form of Janicxa made all the difference, as it was high camp, high energy and killer. Though yeah, it was definitely The Viv, Raja and Trinity that stole the show. And Monet when she went full Brenda-in-Scary-Movie.
And the Pit Crew police officers obviously, who were a total swoon.
The judges loved everything the murderous Vivienne served in the scene, giving gravitas and madness in equal measure. And then she demolished the runway to boot. They loved Shea’s African tribal inspired runway and her perfection as the straight queen in the scene. Yvie’s wickedness delighted the judges, as did how great she looked on the runway. Jinkx received universal praise for bringing so much to the smallest role and for looking beautiful and selling the shit out of her runway. They lived for Trinity leaning into stupid in the challenge and being unexpected on the runway. Monet was praised for committing to each and everything she did in the challenge and the runway, giving light and shade of what she can offer. Jaida’s commitment was beloved, as was how perfect she looked on the runway before Raja was absolutely lavished in praise for every minute of every moment she delivered this week.
Backstage the dolls were boiling it up in their knitwear, talking about how uncomfortable doing drag can be. Everyone lived for how great Shea looked bald, while Yvie was grateful that The Viv taught her about this thing called blending. Talk turned to how great Janicxa was in directing the scene, and how much fun they had (and how good things turned out). Trinity pointed out that The Vivienne is definitely in the top after that performance, though was unsure who would be joining her given Monet, Raja and Shea were all so damn good. With Raja admitting that she would love to finally jag another win. They also all praised Jinkx for what she brought to the role she was given, since she really didn’t want it.
Oh and then they spoke about the perks of big and little butts. And the majesty of eating cakes. Which is always important.
Ultimately Raja and The Vivienne landed in the top two, facing off to Super Freak by Rick James. And while The Vivienne was fierce and gave us everything, this was far and away Raja’s show as she gave stupid fun, followed by some ridiculously camp air saxophone that even if Viv didn’t trip, she was jagging that $10k. After taking it victory, Raja then camped it up on the runway, living for every moment as she was drunk with power before she ultimately blocked Jaida. Complete the kiss of death. Which, I would gladly take from Raja, TBH.
As everyone was filling out to return to the work room, I pulled Monet aside and gave her a massive hug and told her to be patient, because she will finally jag another win soon. Because as the girls told her last week, she has been hanging around the top of the pack every week and her one star dinner truly doesn’t reflect how well she has done. With that she perked up and was glad to have her sister around for a brief kiki before smashing a Three Cheese Calzonét X Change and returning to the Werk Room with a fire in her belly. (Pizza curse be damned! Unless calzones don’t count?).
While pizza is all well and good, when given the option to turn one into a calzone, one should always take it. I mean, the outside gets super crispy while the inside delicately steams until it is molten hot and delicious. Particularly with the perfect three cheese blend and dough filled with spicy sausgae, like this.
Enjoy!
Three Cheese Calzonét X Change Serves: 2 dear friends with healthy booties.
Ingredients 2 cups mozzarella cheese, grated ½ cup ricotta cheese ⅓ cup parmesan cheese, grated a small handful fresh basil, roughly chopped 2 shallots, sliced 2 balls of dough as per the Pizsa Zsa Gabor recipe flour, for dustin’ 100g salami, sliced Amber Marinara Sauce, for dippin’
Method Preheat the oven to 200C.
Combine the mozzarella, ricotta, parmesan, basil and shallots in a bowl. Roll out the balls of dough on a lightly floured surface to form large discs and divide the cheese mixture between them, spreading them on one side of the circle, leaving a couple of centimetres around the edge. Top with salami and mushrooms, spinach and/or olives if you should desire before folding over and pressing the calzones shut, being careful to not leave much air in. Roll the edges to seal and transfer to a lined baking sheet.
Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until browned on the outside. Leave to rest for a couple of minutes before devouring, happily, with some Amber Marinara Sauce for dipping.
Previously on Survivor after Mike defeated Jonathan in the firemaking challenge and won his spot in the final three, the trio enjoyed one final day in Fiji before heading to tribal council. After copping a respectful grilling, Maryanne dominated the Q&A with equal parts charm and wisdom while Romeo was surprisingly confident in articulating why he deserved to be here. Sadly for him, it wasn’t enough to secure him any votes as he finished in third place.
Jeffrey then read the votes and despite playing a strong game, only one vote turned up for Mike as he took out second place, handing Maryanne a near unanimous victory as the jury crowned her the Sole Survivor.
Once Mike was done smashing pizza on the after show, I pulled him aside to perk him back up after just coming up short. Mike had played such a dominant game, controlling his tribe before the merge and managing to form meaningful bonds that carried him far into the game. Never mind the fact he was smart and knew when to make a move, all while minimising the fact he was super buff and a massive threat.
Really the only major flaw was his game was not owning it and like Sharn in Australia – who suffered her third loss in the recent election – the jury couldn’t respect it and it cost him the game. While he was disappointed at the outcome, Mike being Mike, he was super upbeat and proud of Maryanne. Though it is easy to work through the pain when you’re smashing a Mikaarage Chicken Turger.
Super crispy chicken, velvety mayonnaise and creamy avocado, smooshed between two soft buns, how can you go wrong? Oh and did I mention crunchy lettuce and a punch of kecap manis. It is, so, good.
Enjoy!
Mikaraage Chicken Turger Serves: 8.
Ingredients 1 tbsp mirin 1 tbsp soy sauce 4 garlic cloves, minced 2 tsp ginger, minced ½ cup kewpie mayonnaise 8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs 100g cornflour sunflower oil, for frying 3 avocados, mashed 1 lemon, zested and juiced salt and pepper, to taste 8 burger rolls 1 butter lettuce 2 tomatoes ¼ cup kecap manis
Method Combine the mirin, soy, garlic and ginger and 1 tbsp of the mayo in a bowl. Add the chicken and stir to coat, before covering and popping in the fridge to marinate for an hour or so.
Pop the cornflour in a bowl and heat about 5cm deep of oil in a large pan over medium heat. Take the chicken out of the fridge and press the chicken into the cornflour to coat before transferring the chicken into the pot to fry, two at a time, for about 4-5 minutes each side or until cooked through. Transfer to some paper towel to drain and repeat the process until the chicken is done.
To assemble the burgers, mash the avo with the lemon zest and juice and a good whack of salt and pepper. Split all the buns in half and toast on a griddle pan. Spread the avo on the base, followed by some lettuce and tomato, then the chicken, followed by a drizzle of kewpie and some kecap manis. Then devour immediately, greedily. Messily. Happily.
Previously on Survivor the final six grew more and more nervous about making it to the end, as everyone sized up who would make the easiest opponents in the final three. With Omar outed as a strategic mastermind at the previous tribal council, Maryanne was also focused on usurping his power and concocted a plan to take him out using her extra vote to swing a 3-2-2 vote. And while everyone continued to panic about her plan and who to take out should it fail, she stood firm and held everyone together to perfectly execute it and take Omar out of the game. In a very iconic fashion.
We followed the final five not back to camp, but instead to a new rain soaked beach to set up a new camp for the remaining days. Tarpless and with nothing, let’s just say the final five were well and truly gagged. Ultimately though, nothing could bring Maryanne down after taking out Omar with a massive move. Sadly she was the only one as Romeo was annoyed to have received votes, while Jonathan sassed out Lindsay for voting for him, despite the fact they both turned on each other. And ugh, this isn’t a good look for Jonathan.
Romeo meanwhile was an icon and interrupted the fight to announce that since they’re all being honest with each other, he has an idol and will be playing it at the next tribal council. So yeah, good luck to the rest of ya’s. Essentially.
The next day Jonathan was still focused on getting rid of Lindsay with the boys, while Maryanne was busy assuring Lindsay that Mike would be playing his idol for her at tribal council and as such, they would both find a way to keep going. Mike and Lindsay then caught up, with Mike assuring Lindsay that he will totally play the idol for her at tribal council and while it is the same promise he gave Maryanne, it was the only glimmer of hope she had, so she took it.
The tribe then received treemail, complete with a clue for an advantage at the upcoming immunity challenge. And while Lindsay was first to solve it, she could not find the advantage while the rest of the tribe worked together to solve the clue to block her. While Maryanne desperately tried to undermine the boys so that Lindsay could find the advantage before anyone else, guaranteeing the girls make it to the final four together. And what do you know, Queen Maryanne was successful, as Lindsay snatched the advantage and was that much closer to the end. Much to her and Maryanne’s delight.
While Jonathan looked to be boiling with rage.
The final five met up with Probst in the middle of a clearing for an epic immunity challenge where they would each have to race out to six stations to collect puzzle pieces before solving said puzzle. And while it sounds easy, the stations were guarded by obstacles and the pieces tied up by multiple knots. For Lindsay, she would only have to untie a single knot at each station, while the rest would have to work through six. Oh and the victor would also win a huge dinner of pasta, garlic bread, salad, cake and wine. So yeah, they were all very pumped.
Despite Lindsay’s advantage, she spent most of the challenge nipping at Jonathan’s heels as he absolutely destroyed the obstacles. While it is always hard to keep track of who is in the lead, Jonathan was the first to start working on the puzzle with Lindsay in a very close second place. Mike quickly joined them, while Romeo and Maryanne closed out the pack. While Jonathan and Lindsay were piece for piece at the start, Mike quickly closed the gap as he and Lindsay battled for first place. He continued to methodically work through the puzzle and despite a late-breaking push from Lindsay, he managed to snatch immunity. And tragically, doom one of our queens.
Mike started to break down over his win, overwhelmed to finally jag individual immunity and make his kids proud. Oh and then Jeffrey gave Mike a chance to fuel one of his competitors, with him stupidly opting to give Jonathan food which is a wild choice given he is the biggest competition to win final immunity challenge, assuming he survives the night. Even if they are aligned.
Back at camp the boys went off to smash their feast, pledging their undying loyalty to each other while Lindsay spat fire about how terrible Jonathan is to Maryanne and Romeo. As the boys ate, Mike meanwhile was debating who he should play his idol for at the upcoming tribal to stack the final four with the people he wants. As such, he assured Jonathan he would be playing his idol for him too and just like that, he has now pissed off two potential jurors. The hungry trio meanwhile were busy locking in their votes for Jonathan, with Maryanne assuring them both that there is no way Mike would go back on his word to her. Despite knowing for a fact he also gave his word to Lindsay.
Lindsay meanwhile caught up with Mike to play on his emotions, begging him to stick to his word and not betray her, and while her argument was compelling – and frankly, so great – the fact that she can talk her way into anything, shows how big of a threat she is. Mike then caught up with Maryanne, with her trying to convince Mike to stick to his word to her so that she could protect Lindsay. Though when she caught up with Romeo, he cautioned her that both Jonathan and Lindsay are threats. Leaving Maryanne to worry who Mike would be playing his idol for, given everything hinges on his decision. And could make or break all of their games.
At tribal council Lindsay caught the jury up on her final advantage, while Jonathan spoke about how much they were all struggling. Lindsay admitted to knowing she is likely to go home tonight due to her allegiance to Omar, while Jonathan tried to downplay how much everyone wants Lindsay to go. Maryanne spoke about trying to find the balance between her emotions and playing intelligently, while Lindsay shared how she spent the entire afternoon scrambling and pleading her case, before a quick pivot as she tried to downplay her threat level.
Jonathan stepped up to praise Lindsay for the game she played, while Lindsay said she is continuing to fight for her place in the game until the moment her torch is snuffed. Jonathan spoke about finding the balance between playing a good game and minimising your threat level, with Mike assuring everyone that if you have a solid alliance, it makes working around that a lot easier. Maryanne opened up about her need to not only find people she thinks she can beat to face off against at the end, but that also think they could beat her. And well, Lindsay was just happy that if she is getting booted for being unbeatable, that is the best way to go out.
With that the tribe voted, Mike made a big show of playing his hidden immunity for Maryanne for being so loyal to him. Romeo then announced that he would not be playing his fake idol and instead, threw it into the fire while Maryanne quietly sat on her hidden immunity idol. Jeffrey then finally read the votes with poor Lindsay tragically felled by a united tribe for being too much of a threat.
As she promised at tribal council, she was super chill and excited to be taken out for being too much of a threat, as the other option is making it to the end, getting no votes and having a shocking legacy. I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she left a massive mark on the seasons and truly did play out of the best games this season and as such, is a shoe in for another go. But until then, she always has Chinese Handsay Dolapiewich.
I bet you thought I was going to take the easy route with a cheeky sandwich, but surprise, I pivoted! And when the pivot tastes as good as a slightly tweaked version of Brendan Pang’s Chinese Hand Pies, you really can’t go wrong. Spicy, warming and packing a kick, these are, in a word, perfection.
Enjoy!
Chinese Handsay Dolapiewich Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 cups plain flour, plus extra for dusting 2 tsp kosher salt, plus extra 1 cup water 500g beef mince 3 celery stalks, finely sliced 4 spring onions, finely sliced a large handful of coriander, finely chopped 1 tbsp light soy sauce 1 tbsp dark soy sauce 1 tbsp oyster sauce 1 tsp Shaoxing rice wine 1 tsp ground white pepper ½ tsp raw caster sugar ½ tsp sesame oil ½ tsp Chinese five spice vegetable oil, to fry
Method Combine the flour and salt in a bowl and slowly mix in the water with a fork until combined. Dust the bench with a little bit of extra flour and turn out the dough and knead until nice and elastic. Oil a bowl and pop in the dough, cover with some cling and leave to rest for half an hour or so.
Pop all the other ingredients in a large bowl with a good pinch of salt and scrunch with your hands – or use a wooden spoon, I don’t mind – until well combined. Cover and pop in the fridge for the flavours to meld until the dough is ready.
To assemble, divide the dough into 8 equal parts and roll out until they are 15cm rounds and divide the filling between each disc. To close, gently stretch the dough around to seal at the top, pleat into a circle to give the look of a money bag.
Heat a couple of tablespoons in a large frying pan over medium heat and once nice and hot, add four to the pan, pleated side down and press with a spatula to flatten. Cook for five minutes or until nice and golden before flipping and cooking for a further five minutes. Remove from the pan and leave to rest on some paper towel while you cook the others.
Serve immediately, dripping in Sechuanyx Chilli Oil and devour.
Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, 14 regular seasons ran their race, alongside 6 All Stars seasons, 3 UK seasons and a single Down Under season. Alongside seasons that we can not mention in Thailand, Holland, Canada and Spain. Because yes, FINALLY, Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross have granted our wishes, and assembled 8 of Ru’s winner to compete for the ultimate crown. So yeah, yeah, Blu and Willow may already have grown the winner’s circle this reason, we’re about to receive the one queen to rule them all, as the Queen of all Queens. Aka Jinkx Monsoon.
First up we re-met Shea Coulee who is just as damn iconic as always and ugh, I am already overwhelmed by how much I love the dolls. We then got a recap of her two iconic runs, thankfully not having to rehash her crushing heartbreak when Sasha destroyed her in the Charlie Hides induced lip-sync for the crown. Anyways, her entrance paid homage to Coco Montrese, so yeah, I still love her. And love how desperate she is for her second crown. She was quickly joined by the delightful icon, Jaida Essence Hall who thankfully is coming for a victory lap after winning via zoom. Oh and remember how she destroyed Season 12 and charmed us while she did the damn thing?
Yvie Oddly made her triumphant return with a signature cackle and looking like a damn star. Her mug was perfect, her look was perfect, she was magnetic (and perfect). Oh and then she licked her nip, so just like that, she is my frontrunner. Despite her flopping hair. SheDevilByNight herself, Trinity the Tuck returned and once again, despite myself, I can’t help but love her because she truly is born for this race. And ready to uncouple from her twinner, Monet. Speaking of the sponge queen, Monet came in dripping in cash and looking the best she ever looked and ugh, I love her. And hot damn she is ready to come in and fight, you can feel it through the screen.
Continuing working in reverse chronological crowning order, the dolls were joined by the icon herself, Ms Jinkx Monsoon and ugh, I fucking love her so much and am so excited to see her in all her HD glory. I mean, watching the recap of her first season, she is so damn perfect. I mean, Little Edie was just so beautiful. And out of respect for DeLa, Ru should crown her on the spot. Then stop the damn press because Raja is here and ugh, I now am straight up crying. Raja is iconic, beautiful, hilarious and I live for everything she serves. And then wait, we’re jumping out of order and crowwing international borders as The Vivienne crossed the pond to serve UK realness, and well, wasn’t it a pleasant reminder how UK is just the greatest franchise of all time?
They were then joined by a surprise ninth queen, who it turns out was the best non-winner – other than Juju – Raven, who returned as a double first alternate. Though given she won an Emmy, I guess she qualifies? Wait, no – it was a long con as Ru dropped by to welcome the dolls, promptly kicking her out, without nary an apology for crowning my nemesis over her in Season 2.
With the riff-raff kicked out, Ru announced that nobody else will be leaving before the end of the competition as because they are all winners, they won’t be eliminated. Instead, the competition is based on a points system with each episode culminating in a top two, with each earning a star before they lip sync for their legacy. Where the winner would snatch $10k and the power to block another queen from winning a star the following week. And since the four queens with the most stars at the end of the season would compete in a lip sync smackdown for the crown, that is quite the power. Oh and this year the winner will be crowned Queen of all Queens and will score $200k for their troubles.
Oh and if that isn’t enough, the dolls then were put to the test in a good ol’ fashioned reading challenge. Up first was Shea who was hilariously reading Raja for being a drunk, Jinkx for sucking the d and Viv for showing diversity. Jaida was so charmingly aggressive, Yvie was inspired and cute, Trinity was solid, Monet was off the cuff and delightful, Jinkx was on fire from start to finish, with impeccable timing and ugh, good luck girls – because she will slay this competition. Raja then straight up spelt boogers at the girls and left and damn, I love. Oh and then The Viv just destroyed with the roasting skills of a UK queen. Rightly so though, it was Jinkx Monsoon that took out victory.
Oh and then Ru dropped the tea that their first Maxi Challenge would see them write their own verses on Ru’s new track Legends. Oh but not until they meet one final legendary queen. Mother tucking Naomi Campbell and ugh, chuck a phone at me, I’m done. This is the greatest episode of all time. Oh and then Naomi gave them a runway walk masterclass and well, I live.
Naomi loved Jaida’s glide, Raja needed to do nothing new – except to not work with Tyra, I assume. She lived for Jinxk’s silly, fun, drama, loved The Viv’s smoothness and Trinity’s shoulders. Naomi lived for Monet but wanted her to cut out knocking her boots together, while she was delighted by Yvie’s mess and attitude. And then, most importantly, Shea got to receive praise from her teacher Naomi, for doing such a damn good job. Naomi was crying, Shea was crying and well, now I’m crying. This is just too much. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
The dolls finally got to venture backstage and untuck, with Yvie once again getting fully nude before everyone split up to write their verses. Shea was feeling her oats, Raja was living for her regalness, while Jinkx wanted to share her middle-aged self with everyone and prove she is a front runner. While Jaida considered doing something new, given there is no risk of being sent home. The Viv meanwhile opened up about feeling like she is the underdog given she is representing an entire franchise and NO, Viv, you are a star and you need to believe in yourself.
The dolls returned to the Mainstage to work on their choreography with everyone sharing their ideas, leaving them with a wealth of knowledge to choose from. Thankfully Shea worked through the ensuing chaos, stepping up to give them some clarity, editing everything back and straight up stamping herself as a contender for the crown.
Performance day rolled around with The Viv still nervous about making her US MainStage debut while Jinkx just wandered around being weird and ugh, I love it. Jaida meanwhile thanked Shea for stepping up and choreographing the first challenge, admitting that should she win, she will be worried about her choice of blocking. Though felt it would kinda, sorta be a compliment. That being said, Monet and Trinity were in a corner, locking in an alliance to look out for each other, make sure while everyone is coming for everyone, they can ride through and protect each other. While Jinkx wandered into the scene and asked if they were forming an alliance, like a damn icon.
The dolls opened up about their seasons, with Raja talking about her ugly crying on Season 3 while the queens praised her for being a star on America’s Next Top Model. Remember, that? Jaida meanwhile admitted that her pandemic crowning may have sucked, but she is so thrilled that it led her to this exact point, grateful to have new sisters who love and respect her and ugh, the fact they’re all crying, it is so beautiful. Oh and then Raja offered to make out with her, while Monet promised to block her. So swings and roundabouts or something, I guess?
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by the one and only Cameron D – minus Destiny – for the debut All Winners runway and ugh, I live. Cameron. Mother. Tucking. Diaz. I. Can’t. First, the dolls took to the stage for their remix and well, they proved why they won the damn crown. Raja was a star, Jinkx knocked it out of the park, Monet was perfection, Trinity and Yvie were 100% them – in a good way – Viv hit every damn note, Jaida was a charmer and then, well, Shea shut it down. And likely scored her spot in the top two for the week. As she deserves.
On the I’m Crowning runway Raja was straight up perfection serving queer Louis the 14th and oh, it was stunning. Jinkx was stunning a Mary Queen of Scots, before dropping an Angelina leg. Repeatedly. And it was gorgeous. Monet rocked trans tracksuit queen realness and I love it, while Trinity was all drama in a velvet gown that covered the entire stage. Yvie was a. May. Zing. In a dripping crayon gown, while The Viv was gorgeously delightful, in a full body cream earthy gown. Jaida gave all the drama in purple, complete with a baby crown while Shea gave full Nubian queen and yeah, congrats on winning the first challenge.
Raja received universal praise for the detail she brought to her runway and the artistry she brought to the performance. Jinkx’s praise was for giving glamour alongside all the comedy and for being smutty as hell in the performance. Monet was beloved for giving all the energy and selling everything she did, from head to toe. Trinity was praised for the drama she brought to the runway and her magnetism in the performance, the judges loved everything Yvie served and for being her, while the Viv rightly was praised for doing the UK oh-so-proud. They lived for Jaida being so damn delightful, while the judges praised every single thing that Shea gave this week.
Backstage the dolls were gagged to be so exhausted already and having to navigate an entire season together. Yvie joked about slaying Untucked more than any challenge on her first season before everyone rallied around, thanking Shea for carrying them with the choreo. The dolls praised Jinkx for just being Jinkx as she stomped the runway in front of Naomi Campbell, admitting that only Shea can really give runway out of any of them anyway. Raja gave proud aunty, thanking them for giving them everything before Jaida and Yvie thanked her for being such an icon, particularly because she leveled-up her already perfect Marie Antoinette runway.
Oh and then she gave a delightful speech about being an icon and well, I love her. So damn much.
Talk turned to who would be in the top, with everyone narrowing things down to Monet, Shea and Jinkx while they Monet tried to make sense of them. Jinxk pointed out that Monet and Trinity had conveniently created an alliance, annoying the duo but making everyone’s ears prick up. Viv interrupted proceedings to thank them for being so welcoming, admitting she was nervous to cross the pond but was grateful for how welcoming they have all been.
Oh and then Cameron Diaz arrived and hot damn, I near fainted. She thanked them for being so delightful, giving all the references and ugh, why did she have to retire? She then thanked them for their public service – no joke – while the queens sobbed over how much of a stan she is. Monet then lead the dolls in thanking Cameron for getting all of them and the art, before Cameron admitted she essentially threatens her friends who guest judge to not fuck it up and to learn about what they are charged with doing.
Ultimately it was Monet that joined Shea in the top before they battled for the power to block someone else’s star to Old MacDonald. No tea, all collusion. But since it is the Ella Fitzgerald version, it was kinda perfect. Shea was delightful and hit every lyric, Monet was demented and hilarious from start to finish and ugh, I worry for anyone lip syncing against either of them because it was a damn show. But rightly Shea took out the first win of the season, meaning Monet was immune from the block – werk – before Shea rightly, wisely, blocked Monet’s alliance partner slash twinner, Trinity. Setting the tone for an absolute battle royale. I mean, they are SISTERS?!
Backstage the dolls congratulated Shea on taking out victory, while Trinity was a little bit pressed to have been blocked. Though given Shea explained that she blocked her because she knew she could bounce back and not be phased, she quickly moved on. And ugh, I love how congenial they all are, even if Trinity didn’t realise she essentially got ‘thank you for your patience’-d when you couldn’t be bothered replying to someone at work.
The next day the dolls were still delightful and charming, while Monet was living for her stunning star. Well, before Viv reminded Trinity she won’t have one next episode, since, you know, she was blocked. Monet meanwhile was glad to have not put a bigger target on her back, while Yvie and Jinkx threatened to block the former top two since they already have stars.
Things were interrupted by Ru who quickly announced that not only will they be playing the Snatch Game this week, they’d also be required to give not just one character but TWO. With Ru disappearing, Viv announced she would do the one-two punch of Joanna Lumley and Catherine Tate before pointing out how most of the dolls have won a Snatch Game before. Speaking of winners, Shea would be playing Miss J from Top Model and Elsa from the Tik Tok. And as a geriatric millennial, I totally know who that is! Monet meanwhile was nervous since she has done both good and bad on Snatch Game, before Jinkx announced she would be playing Judy Garland AND Natasha Lyonne and well, YES. Condragulations, Jinxk! Yvie meanwhile was ready to vom, though since she was playing the Boogeyman and Rico Nasty, I think she has learnt to play to her strengths, rather than butchering Whoopi Goldberg.
Ru arrived to talk Snatch with Trinity first up to announce she’d be playing Leslie Jordan and the devil. So an angel and a devil. Raja opened up about how delighted she was to be back, though a little sore from all the exertion. She then read Ru for not giving her the win on her first Snatch Game before announcing she would be playing puppet icon Madame and Diana Vreeland. So, get out of the uber Robbie Turner because you’re about to be taught a lesson.
For Snatch Game number one, Monet went with Mike Tyson, Raja did Madame, Viv went with Joanna Lumley as Patsy, SheDevil by Night went with the Devil, Jinkx slayed as Natasha Lyonne, Yie unveiled Rico Nasty, Shea went with Elsa Majimbo before Jaida debuted her version Prince. And well, I’m wet. But let’s be fair, this was well and truly Monet and Raja’s panel. Though I did live for Jinkx, who likened Jaida fucking Monet as a toddler moving a couch and well, I live. But yeah, Monet’s pitch-perfect Mike Tyson and Raja being a killer icon as a damn puppet stole the show!
For round two, Viv played Nan from Catherine Tate, Yvie debuted her boogeyman – and fucking flooded my basement – Trinity was an itty bitty Leslie Jordan, Jaida went with Lady Chablis, Shea was a star as Miss J, Raja again slayed as Diana Vreeland, Monet went with drag Martin Lawrence before Jinkx stole the show as Judy Garland. I mean, Renee Zellweger eat your heart out because this was the character study we ALL needed. Though Trinity’s Leslie Jordan wearing a condom as a raincoat was pretty damn perfect. But since Jinxk referenced the season 5 makeover and Dave the veteran worrying she killed Judy Garland, there is no blocking her star this week. It was perfect.
I mean, is this my camera, Broom? It’s a set Broom, it’s made of cardboard. I. Con. Ic.
Runway Day arrived with Yvie glad to get her redemption, though everyone agreed the top three are clearly Jinxk, Trinity and Raja and well. It is what they deserve. Raja admitted she felt she would be happy to just be safe, though was thrilled to have defied expectations and slay. Trinity was thrilled to maybe get cash and the chance to block someone, though not get a star. While Shea pretended she was not at risk of getting blocked. Jinxk and Monet kikied, with Jinxk admitting her strategy should she win the lip sync would be to block someone with a star and well, Monet was Ner. Vous.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by the iconic Daphne Guinness – and well, wow – for the Pleather Principal runway where Monet gave full guilded, warrior glamour. Yvie was ani-mazing, Raja was a slutty madame – and I LIVE – while Trinity was a pastel, bimbo delight before The Viv was ravishing in red, serving drama and looking PERFECT. Jinkx was perfect as a dominatrix Mary Poppins before Jaida took us to the snake Matrix while Shea cracked the whip as a Basquiat catwoman.
Monet was praised for her Snatch choices, though they lived for Mike Tyson a little bit more. Oh and they felt her runway was perfect. Yvie’s boogeyman was universally beloved, with her runway even more well received. Raja received universal praise for all that she did this week, none more so than how surprisingly dominant she was in the Snatch Game. Trinity once again was beloved for Snatch Game, particularly well received for making such strong damn choices. The Viv was praised for being SO good and looking even better but it was Jinkx that received the best praise of all for just all around knocking everything out of the park. Ev. Er. Ry. THING. Jaida was praised for her stupidity and having fun, while the judges lived for Shea’s runway more than her very solid Snatch Games.
Backstage Yvie was thrilled to get her redemption, while it was Jinkx who was delighted to hit every single note she wanted to. And, I assume, live up to everyone’s very high expectations. Raja meanwhile continued to run away with the joy of the episode, having everyone in hysterics. Monet threw it down, praising Jinkx for being the absolute blueprint for Snatch Game before everyone devolved into madness as they tried to discuss the strategy of blocking, unsure what would be good for them. The dolls then spoke about their Kiki, Kai-Kai and Marry choices before Daphne Guinness dropped backstage and she autographed Jinkx’s wig that she had modeled after Daphne in her Jinkx colours!
Ultimately Jinkx – of course – and blocked queen, Trinity took out victory for Snatch Game. And while Trinity couldn’t take out a star, she would be able to win the lip sync AND block a sister. But as soon as Adele’sRumour Has It started, while Trinity was coming for two out of the three mocking her plastic surgery, it was Jinxk who well and truly won the lip sync. She was stupid, kooky and oh so fun and rightly earned her star, some coin and well, the chance to hand out the platinum plunger of blockage to Shea. Much to the absolute delight of Trinity. De. LIGHT.
As everyone ventured backstage, I quickly caught them between the mainstage and the Werk Room to explain that I have quotas to meet and since Broom is not eliminating them this season, I’ll be catching up with them in reverse alphabetical order, based on those with the least stars every second week. Super simple to follow, no? In any event, they got it and as such, Yvie was primed and ready as I screamed her name like I was Frau Farbissina and pulled her aside to give her a regal peptalk.
I gushed – both literally and figuratively – about how great her Snatch Games were and that she clearly came back ready to slay the game and have fun doing so. Her confidence glow-up since winning was evident and her energy has already been so much fun to watch, and did I mention her sexy Boogeyman? Anyway, her run thus far more than earnt her a Birryvie Tacoddly to celebrate her strong start and fuel her for the rest of her run.
While some may argue a meal this good could give her an unfair advantage as she progresses through the competition, I don’t really mind. Because it is, so damn good. Hot and spicy, dripping in cheese and packing a sharp punch from the salsa, it is the perfect combination of flavours.
So enjoy!
Birryvie Tacoddly Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2-3 cups Birriana Goodchild, shredded with an equal amount of the braising liquid ⅔ cup coriander, roughly chopped 1 onion, finely diced 1 lime, zested and juiced plus extra to serve salt and pepper, to taste 12 small tortillas 3 cups shredded Mexican cheese, or regular mild cheese like mozzarella
Method Prepare your birria as per Brianna’s recipe (or get a store-bought portion, I don’t mind).
Next, combine the coriander, onion and lime zest and juice with a good whack of salt and pepper in a small bowl. Cover and leave to reast for half an hour so the flavours can mingle and the juice cuts through the onion a little bit.
When you’re ready to go, heat a large skillet over medium heat. Dip a tortilla in the braising liquid and pop in the pan to char a little bit. About 30 seconds or so. Flip the tortilla, sprinkle with some cheese, followed by the beef and then close over to form a taco. Cook for a couple of minutes untl the cheese is gooey. Flip and cook for another minute.
Remove from the pan and repeat the process until done, keeping the cooked ones in a light oven to stay warm.
Once they’re all done, serve with a generous spoon of the coriander salsa and some extra braising liquid, for dippin’ and some lime wedges. Then devour, messily. Just like Yvie would like.
Previously on Drag Race España the dolls starred in three commercials to entice people to Spain. And while all the duos leaned heavily into the sexy-Spanish stereotype, Sethlas and Marina were sadly just one, horny note. Sharonne and Estrella meanwhile gave light and shade, while Juriji and Venedita were delightful bimbos. After receiving their critiques, Supremme asked everyone to name who they think should go home, which opened a can of worms, which exploded backstage as Juriji fought for Sethlas and Marina. Sadly for them, they should have focused on the lip sync as the duo landed in the bottom with Marina narrowly saving herself and sending Sethlas home. In tears.
Backstage Marina was feeling her oats to have survived the lip sync, treating the moment as a warning to all of her remaining sisters. Estrella led the dolls in praising Sethlas for being suchan inspiring kind doll, but that wasn’t enough to cut through the tension between Juriji and Marina who well and truly hate each other and had zero problem showing it. Sharonne and Estrella instead tried to distract everyone by congratulating themselves on yet another win and well, it is Sharonne’s crown to lose at this point, right?
The next day things were less tense between Marina and Juriji as the latter opened up about why she was upset that people said she should go home, because despite positive feedback the vibe is that her sisters don’t like her drag or value her. Marina pointed out that that isn’t what they meant and while Juriji apologised for unintentionally fanning the flames, Estrella called her arrogant and well, that was a pivot I wasn’t expecting.
Supremme dropped by, tragically without the zaddy Pit Crew for a little puppet mini challenge. Because everybody loves puppets! Or sticking their hand inside a glory hole, I don’t know. One by one the dolls picked their puppets with Venedita dragging up puppet Marina, Sharonne got Estrella, Juriji got Venedita, Marina got nemesis Juriji, leaving Estrella to play Sharonne and ugh, I love it. After madly beating their puppet mugs, Venedita took to the stage and while she definitely had Marina’s voice down, the jokes kinda went nowhere despite calling out her farts. Juriji had Venedita’s look down and was cute before Sharonne arrived and finally had us laughing as she read puppet Estrella for absolute filth. Estrella somehow absolutely bombed as Sharonne, going from bad, so-bad-its-good to just bad again. Oh and then Marina was shady but not great at bringing the jokes.
Obviously Sharonne took out victory as the only funny person in the challenge and as such, she won the power to set the order in this week’s maxi challenge, the roast! And not just any roast, roasting their Season 1 sisters Dovima, Pupi, Sagittaria, Killer Queen and victor, Carmen Farala. Aka the OG top five.
The dolls took their seats to throw some cross-season shade before Sharonne paired the queen for a get to know you session. Sagittaria gave Venedita some shady things to pick on about her sisters, while Carmen advised Sharonne to go early in the set up to leave someone else to go first in case they bomb. Estrella meanwhile was thrilled to be getting so much advice from Pupi while Dovima and Marina just appeared to have a super zen vibe. Killer Queen meanwhile advised Juriji to contextualise the roast as a Christmas dinner and well, I am nervous for her.
Dia de élimination arrived with Sharonne finally setting the order, with Marina requesting first position – which is super brave – though ultimately, she was given last place instead. Wait, no, it was a joke – she is first! But damn, she was about to throw a tantrum if she wasn’t. Sharonne took out second, with Estrella going in third, Venedita asking for fourth, leaving Juriji to accept closing the show.
With that out of the way, the dolls split up to beat their mugs, with Juriji opening up to Venedita about how her grandfather used to make cabinets with the queen once owning one. That meanwhile was an introduction to her close bond with her grandmother and how she was like a second mother to her and well, it was heartbreaking to hear that her grandmother passed away from COVID within 24 hours and that Juriji was carrying so much guilt for not having one final dinner with her. The positive however, is that this loss finally gave her the confidence to accept herself as she came out as trans and started the confirmation process. And ugh, I love her so much.
Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Anabel Alonso on the panel as the top five arrived to read their first season counterparts for filth. Marina opened the show and while she started out slow, she quickly found her rhythm and brutally read everyone for filth and had the judges in hysterics. As expected Sharonne was solid and charming as hell, though probably would have benefitted from going first herself. Estrella meanwhile was all energy and even when her jokes fell flat, her charm carried her through. Venedita meanwhile tried her best but struggled to keep the momentum going before Juriji was cute though felt a little flat for the end of the show.
On the Spanish Heroines runway, Juriji stole the show as a crotchet queen in honour of her grandmother and ugh, I love it. Marina meanwhile honoured the fight of trans women and looked perfect doing it before Estrella honoured the power of female journalists and well, work, I love it! Sharonne meanwhile was a bright and sunny housewife in honour of her mother and ugh, again, it was glorious. Venedita closed the show looking perfect as she paid homage to unsung female artists throughout history and TBH, the dolls all knew what needed to be done.
Juriji opened up to the judges about her grandmother, with them loving everything about the look she served this week. Complete with Ana in tears. While they thought she was funny in the roast, they did worry she was too calm and came across as flat. Marina meanwhile received universal praise for both her runway and surprising them with her confidence – and brutality – during the roast. Estrella was once again beloved, though they wished she had more light and shade in the roast as it erred on the side of one, loud note. Sharonne too received universal praise, though almost is a victim of her own success because they always expect her to be good so she can’t really surprise them anymore. Oh and then Venedita’s roast was read for filth, though they admitted her runway was perfect.
Backstage Venedita immediately got comfortable before admitting she knows she is lip syncing. Talk turned to how strong everyone’s runways were this week and how the judges loved them showing their heart. Despite having such a perfect look, Juriji knew that she too would be lip syncing with Venedita, which is something Estrella agreed with.
Ultimately Marina’s surprise performance was enough to pip the comedy queens at the post and take out victory, while Venedita and Juriji landed in the bottom as expected. And while Juriji felt all the emotion of Fuego, she was no match for the fire of Venedita who was focused on making it through. She gave full burlesque fantasy and perfectly bounced off Juriji who served a wig reveal that would make Roxxxy Andrews proud. Sadly though, said reveal and flipping around the stage wasn’t enough to save herself as Venedita live to see another day and Juriji was tragically eliminated.
Backstage Juriji had the same zen vibe that she has carried through the entire competition as I pulled her in for a massive hug. On top of praising her for a job, very well done, I reminding her that I was so proud of her for being 100% her. A little bit kooky, very camp and absolutely delightful, she went through the competition doing her and appeared to be having a lot of fun doing it. Rightfully earning her not a crown, but a Lamb Yiroji Der Klee.
Yiros are one of the most comforting food, maybe because they are literally aggressively flavoured meat, punchy sauces and chips. I mean, what more could you want.
Enjoy!
Lamb Yiroji Der Klee Serves: 6.
Ingredients ½ cup olive oil 8 garlic cloves, finely chopped 2 tsp chilli flakes a handful of mint, roughly chopped 2 lemons, zested and juiced salt and pepper, to taste 1kg lamb, cut into large chunks 1 batch Pita Andre Bread 1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries 1 cup Greek yoghurt 2 tbsp tahini 2 tomatoes, diced 1 cup salad leaf
Method Combine the oil, 7 of the garlic cloves, chilli flakes, mint and half the lemon in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Add the lamb, toss to coat and covering. Pop in the fridge and leave to marinate for five-six hours, or ideally, overnight.
Preheat the oven to 220C and line a baking sheet. Oh and make the Pita Andre Bread as per his instructions and get the Jud Beerza Battered Fries on.
Thread the lamb onto pairs of skewers and position on the baking sheet, leaving the meat elevated. Pop the lamb in the oven and leave to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until starting to char on the outside. Remove from the oven, push it off the skewers and roughly chop. Transfer to a bowl so it can baste in any leaking juices.
Combine the yoghurt, tahini and remaining garlic and lemon in a bowl. Season to taste.
To serve, smear the sauce on the pita bread, top with lamb, fries and some tomato and lettuce. Then devour, greedily.
Fame Hungry 