Previously on Australian Survivor after the tragic loss of Cirie the night before, the final three were delighted to wake up on the beach to find their celebratory final three breakfast. Parvati was conflicted, proud of playing such a dominant game, but disappointed to not have her soulmate sitting alongside her at the end. After fuelling for final tribal council, the trio congratulated each other on playing such strong games and shared how grateful they were to become friends along the way. Which tragically is the win Janine had to settle for, as she was completely shut out of final tribal council and finished in third place.
Rewinding back to after opening statements, Lisa kicked off the Q&A portion of the game, talking about how much of a superfan she is, because Survivor just makes her happy, so her question was asking Luke to tell her what makes him happy about Survivor. He talked about how much he loves living in the jungle and catching crabs, and that it makes him as happy as Parv and Janine must be to be sitting next to him. Cirie asked Parvati why she was so upset to see Cirie’s torch get snuffed, with Parvati breaking down in tears again, talking about how miraculous it is to be as close as she is to Cirie and how she would do anything to give Cirie a shot in the end, because she took a shot from her in Micronesia. And she wanted it so badly for Cirie.
Tommi asked Parvati if she ever intended to play with him, with Parvati talking about being World strong at the merge. But when he followed it up, she laughed and said, well, she could tell he was close with Lisa and Kass, and as such, she invested her time with World, then the women and not necessarily Tommi. Luke joked that he wanted to work with Tommi, leading him to ask Luke why he should vote for someone that spoke about being Aussie strong all season. Luke defended himself, telling Tommi that he was ready to flip to the World players, alongside Shonee, blaming not being taken on the spa reward as the reason for opting out and joining Janine to work with Cirie and Parv, rather than forming a majority with them. As he played a calm game this time, rather than bouncing around each vote.
Kass pointed out that they needed four votes to win, so asked Parvati who she thinks would vote for her and why. She pointed out that she and Kass were fierce rivals all season, so she assumed Kass would vote for her, because she would if the tables were turned. She felt Lisa and Cirie would also vote for her, and she was hopeful that Kirby would also reward her. As she was also in control of all the votes, despite having the biggest target on her back from Day 1. Sarah meanwhile asked Janine to clarify her very loyal game, given she was the reason that (stoked the flames that) broke up the Aussies. Which led to Luke laughing about it being Janine, while Sarah pointed out that her alleged flawless game clearly had a flaw, as she played herself into the minority. Janine explained that she felt she had to pick between the two of them, as Sarah doubled down, saying that was not the time. Repeatedly. And her messiness made it a harder path to the end for her and Luke. Janine then pointed out that she never actually knew Kirby was voting for Sarah, and when the jurors argued semantics between them, it was kind of iconic.
Shonee asked Luke when he felt the most vulnerable, with him mentioning just after Kass had been voted out and how desperately he wanted to win immunity. He spoke about how convincing Parvati to rip up her advantage only benefitted his game, with her interjecting that not playing the advantage was the power, as it guaranteed her a final four, which was better than just getting another idol. Kirby wrapped things up, talking about how much she desperately wanted to play with Parvati, as two queens side by side. Parv agreed that she really wanted to work with her and she believed her, 100%, however she already had a solid alliance and as such, she had to go with the move that had momentum, when it was clear she couldn’t change their minds. And while she wanted to save her with her idol, she knew that she had to be smart and keep her idol for herself and set up her end game.
Parvati then reiterated that she was on the right side of every single vote, as she either knew about every plan, or came up with it. Despite being the biggest target in the game, she didn’t even have her name written down once, which is frankly unbelievable. With that the jury voted – Cirie and Tommi proclaiming Parvati the greatest Survivor player of all time, to boot – and after a single vote for Luke – from Sarah – the rest of them piled up on Parvati, handing her the win. And proving her the ultimate champion.
Luke was understandably heartbroken to finish in second place, though I pulled him in for a hug and congratulated on playing such a strong game. While I would argue Janine did a bunch of the heavy lifting, Luke has grown each time he has played the game, and this season he expertly delivered flashy moves and went toe to toe with the best in the form of Parvati, while also building relationships with everyone on the island and laying low as required. It was impressive, just not as impressive as the masterclass we witnessed from the third two-time winner. Though impressive enough to toast being runner-up with a piping hot bowl of Luke Discoki Fries.
While this is kind of like a bogan poutine, like Luke, the fries are so charming, you can’t help but like them. Better yet, they are way easier to make. Crunchy chips, gooey mozzarella and gravy, sign me up.
Enjoy!
Luke Discoki Fries Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 batches Jud Beerza Battered Fries 4 tbsp unsalted butter 2 shallots, minced 3 garlic cloves, minced sea salt and pepper ¼ cup flour 3 cups beef stock 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce 250g mozzarella, grated parsley, for serving
Method Cook the fries per Jud’s recipe until they are golden and crunchy.
While that is happening, melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat and saute the shallots and garlic for a couple of minutes. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper, before adding in the flour and cooking, stirring, for a further couple of minutes. Reduce heat to low and slowly whisk in the stock, followed by the Worcestershire. Season as required, and simmer for 5 minutes, or until rich and thickened.
To serve, pop your seasoned fries into a bowl and top with mozzarella, before pouring over the gravy. Sprinkle with parsley before devouring, greedily.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Kaelan pretended to be dumb and even roped in JLP and his biceps to help sell the lie that he couldn’t solve puzzles as he powered ahead to win his third immunity. Which was convenient, given he was finally ready to make a move and take out Karin.But before that he and Logan were invited on AJ and Kristin’s reward where Logan floated getting rid of Karin too. Back at camp, they looped everyone in except Myles, who started to spiral and decided to target Zara, given it was clearly not going to be an easy vote. Sadly for everyone, Kristin warned Karin about said plan. At tribal council, Karin blew it all up, telling everyone everything. And while she wasn’t going to tell where she heard the information, Kristin admitted that it was her, but Karin just took a giant dump on her plan on her way out the door. Oh and we were again reminded Logan told the jury it was her plan, meaning it is clearly important.
Back at camp Zara confronted Kaelan about turning on her, wondering why he chose the Brawn girls over her. He expertly pointed out that she and Karin turned on Myles, so he and AJ felt it could easily happen to them. She was pretty calm, pulling everyone together in the shelter and sharing how sad she is for Kristin too given she was just as close with Karin as she was. And of course Logan, who was also her ally. Logan, bless, then told Zara that she was actually the one leading the vote, so told her not to worry about feeling bad for her. Despite what I thought, AJ wasn’t pissed about Logan taking credit for the move, pulling Myles aside and talking about how great it is that Logan is taking the heat, because with that and the fact people think they’re feuding, they can continue to quietly work together without being targeted.
The next day everyone was shocked to realise they only have nine days left in the game. Kristin meanwhile was feeling a little awkward given Karin blew up her game on the way out, so pulled AJ and Kaelan aside to explain that lots of people wanted Zara and she just thought that was the new plan and got confused. And while AJ was quick to forgive and buy her story, Kaelan was quite pissed at her for ruining the blind side. As such, their alliance was done-zo. At the shelter, Myles was chatting to Morgan, Kate and Zara about the fact that a quarter of them will be in the final two. He then took Zara aside to give her a pep talk, teaching her the ways of the power bottom and assuring her that now she is able to play her best. That gave her the idea of bringing the Graduates alliance back together, taking control and making it all the way to the final four. The only issue being that AJ is super close to Kate and Morgan, and they aren’t quite sure whether his loyalty will lie with them or his OG Brains in the long term. Zara pulled Kaelan aside to clear the air, with him assuring her that his issue was with Karin, not her and as such, he is keen to ride it to the end.
JLP made his debut for the episode for the latest reward challenge where they would each have to balance on progressively narrow footholds over water with the last person standing scoring a night away at the Ikea overnight retreat, complete with shepherd’s pie and not Ikea meatballs, which feels like a choice. AJ couldn’t even last a minute. Everyone else moved through the next two narrower footholds, with Myles finally dropping after ten minutes. He was quickly followed by Kaelan and Morgan, while Logan narrowly avoided disaster. The remaining four managed to last another fifteen minutes before then transitioned to the narrowest footholds which cost Zara and Kate, while the others continued to struggle before Logan finally dropped, handing Kristin the win. As is oft the case, she was given the opportunity to invite someone along, picking Morgan. Much to her shock. She then got to select one other, going with Logan. And let’s just say, the rest of the tribe did not look happy.
Back at camp Kate was super disappointed to miss out on reward, while Zara was focused on making amends and locking in plans, given she would happily go to all the spas when she returns to Brisbane. To which I say, take me with you Hermes, queen – can we be besties?! After winning over Myles and Kaelan, she pulled AJ aside with both of them agreeing that the Graduates need to stick together, as Zara knows that AJ would have been trying to save her. He then told her that Kristin’s choices for the reward have actually scared him, given she and Logan were hoping to get rid of Kate, and as such, they were clearly planning to woo Morgan to get the plan moving. He then assured Zara that he would gladly vote out Kate when the time comes because he knows she and Morgan will always take each other to the end, so he has no option not to. The duo went back to camp and when they realised Kate was far away, they locked in their post-Graduates alliance before going to hunt for idols. Because while they were close, Kaelan was still worried that Myles and AJ could do something stupid just for the drama of it at tribal council.
Sadly for Kaelan, it was Myles that found the idol – his fourth of the season to boot – and rather than keeping it quiet, once again he took the information back to AJ and while he said that he was super happy for him, it was clear that he was also very jealous. Though bless, he was happy to technically have an idol too, given it is clear Myles would play it for him if he needed it.
We finally checked in on the gals at the Ikea spa – thank you, Ikea, wink – with everyone delighted to see the food, champers and a bed. After smashing some pie, Logan jumped in the shower and was gagged by how dirty she was. After they were done scrubbing up, Logan floated the idea that Kate is the biggest threat and needed to be dealt with ASAP. Kristin, however, felt Zara was the bigger threat and pushed them until they locked in an alliance to get her out next. All that Logan and Kristin need to do to get it over the line was to convince AJ and Kaelan to join them, and they can take control. After a very good night’s sleep.
The next day things were still pretty zen back at camp as Myles and Zara spoke about how great it will be to make the final four. AJ meanwhile was focused on making it through the next vote to ensure it happens, realising that Logan is the next biggest threat and as such, she needs to go. One by one he locked in his allies to get rid of Logan, with him then finally admitting to us that he also wants to get her out for taking credit for the Karin vote.
My love Jonathan and the reward winners returned for the immunity challenge where they would be divided into teams to race through obstacles, carrying a locked teammate to collect a key and unlock them. The winning team would then face off tossing sandbags at a target, with the first to knock theirs off, taking out the win. Kaelan, Kristin, Myles and Kate faced off against AJ, Morgan, Logan and Zara, with AJ valiantly carrying Zara through the course while Kaelan straight up dropped Kate on their team. Zara, AJ, Morgan and Logan got out to a very hefty lead, though the others picked up the pace and closed the gap. And then took over and moved to the final round, much to Logan’s rage, begging the question, is AJ back in his challenge throwing era? The final four then raced to the top of the tower to toss their sandbags, with Kaelan powering through and jagging himself immunity just ahead of Myles.
Back at camp everyone quickly shared a meal before Kristin pulled Kaelan aside to try and woo him to her Zara plan, though she could tell he was lying and was clearly against her. She then pulled Kate aside and suggested that they just need to load all their votes on Zara, and hope the other four split their votes. Kristin, however, was super nervous about them playing an idol for whoever they were targeting, so suggested they just need to float a fake plan and hope that they will jump onboard a split between Kate and Morgan. Logan approached Myles to loop him in, while Kristin took it to AJ and Kaelan and just like that, all the girls were feeling good. WIth AJ and Logan once again talking through a plan that both of them knew was not going to happen.
AJ found the Postgraduates and told them it is clear the girls are clearly trying to get them to split their votes so they should just band together. Sadly, that was their plan. Meaning they locked in the four votes for Logan, and instead hope they can push one of them to flip in the revote. Or just go to rocks. AJ started to get nervous, obviously, and suggested to Zara that he should maybe tell Kate to lock in a solid majority. Which Zara promptly shut down. AJ is AJ though, so pulled Kate aside and told her their plan and that Logan was actually targeting Kate and Morgan tonight. While the Graduates were all kind of excited by the prospect of going to rocks and going down in history.
At tribal council Kristin was thrilled about her time on reward, though was starting to get quite nervous about everything she missed back at camp. Myles was confident that they made the most of their time back at camp, while Logan pointed out that everyone is just starting to get paranoid. AJ shared that he was just hoping to find people with common goals to alleviate their paranoia, while Kate admitted that she is happy to continue making new alliances every day until the game ends. Kaelan and AJ spoke about the importance of having the full picture. With just that little bit of preamble, the tribe voted and shock horror, it was a four-four tie between Zara and Logan. With that the tribe voted once again, with it finishing in a three-three tie.
It was at this point it became clear why there was so little content before the votes, as JLP explained that the tribe now needed to come to a unanimous decision about who to send home. And if they couldn’t, Zara and Logan would join Kaelan as immune, while the remaining five would go to rocks. AJ and Myles quickly pointed out that they have zero qualms about going to rocks, given the numbers are on their side. Kristin pointed out that she wants Zara out because she has so many connections. Logan then jumped in, saying that she would not demand anyone go to rocks for her, while Zara may demand it of people. Zara pointed out that they were all actually ready to go to rocks, as they weren’t sure who would be the target heading into tribal council. Everyone tried to assure everyone else that they would all happily work together moving forward. While Logan tried to point out that people willing to go to rocks for each other are clearly locked.
JLP reminded them that it needs to be a unanimous decision and when it was clear her allies were nervous, Logan told them it was fine for them to flip and with that, everyone verbally agreed to send her to the jury. As she arrived at the villa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for serving for as long as she did. Because look back on the season and while the mean have steamrolled the confessionals, Logan carried the actual narrative. And as a Pilates gay, I will always support a pilates and wine mum, meaning it was fate that I celebrate her with a glorious Logan Gojuchannisen Beef Bowl.
This reworked little Half Baked Harvest number is oh-so-good. Sweet, spicy and somehow creamy, it is the perfect mid-week meal to wash away the trauma of the work week.
Enjoy!
Logan Gochujannisen Beef Bowl Serves: 6.
Ingredients 750g beef mince salt and pepper, to taste 2 tbsp butter 2 red capsicums, sliced 6 shallots, sliced 6 garlic cloves, minced 1 tbsp ginger, grated ½ cup tamari 4 tbsp gochujang 4 tbsp rice vinegar ⅓ cup beef stock 2 tbsp maple syrup ¼ cup sesame seeds, toasted ⅓ cup roasted peanuts, chopped 2 lebanese cucumbers, cut into half coins 2 tbsp Thai basil rice, to serve
Method Pop a large skillet over medium-high heat and brown the mince for five minutes, breaking up with a wooden spoon as you go. Season with a pinch of salt and a good whack of pepper before adding the butter, capsicum, half the shallots and the ginger, and cooking for a couple of minutes.
Stir in the tamari, three tablespoons of the gochujang, half the rice vinegar and a stock. Bring to the boil before reducing heat to low and stirring in the maple syrup. Cook for a minutes or so, or until the beef is caramelised and sticky. Remove from the heat and stir through the sesame seeds.
While the beef rests, combine the cucumbers with one teaspoon of salt and the remaining gochujang, rice vinegar and shallots. Allow to stand for 5 minutes.
To serve, layer your bowl with rice, followed by a generous heaping of the mince, followed by the spicy cucumber and a sprinkle of peanuts, before devouring. Like a queen.
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Previously on Global All Stars the dolls had to partner up with their best Judy to share a cocktail. And by cocktail, switch supplies they had prepared prior to departing for the show and whip up a cocktail gown using their sisters’ goods. Obviously this created excellent television, as while Tessa lucked out and jagged a suitcase full of Alyssa’s finest, Nehellenia was pressed by the expensive fabrics supplied for her by Kitty. Which obviously didn’t sit well with Kitty. As could be expected, Tessa’s luck helped her pull out her first win as she put the luxe goods to exquisite use. Alyssa’s attempt with Tessa’s literal scraps somehow kept her out of the bottom, as poor Soa’s floppy edges and Gala’s gorgeous albeit very high-necked look landed them in the bottom. With the queen of my heart, Soa, tragically felled from the competition.
Backstage everyone was heartbroken to have lost Soa, particularly Kween, given she felt like Soa had become her older little sister. The eulogising didn’t last for long, however, as Alyssa turned the attention back to Gala, praising her for her stunning lip sync and now being the assassin of the season. As Gala and Vanity spoke about the need for them to rise to the top this week and cement their places in the competition, Alyssa praised Tessa for taking out the win and growing each and every week. With Tessa suggesting that Alyssa is now part of the Haus of Testicle, rather than her joining the Edwardses as she first thought. So it is now Alyssa Edballs, if you will.
The next day everyone did a quick win count, with Nehellenia and Gala disappointed to be the only dolls that haven’t cut through for a win yet. Gala opened up about the fact she almost quit last week due to the inner saboteur, with Kween once again jumping in and encouraging her to harness the voice to push herself, but to also know when to tell it to shut up. Like you would Tessa, for instance. As Gala broke down, Alyssa encouraged her to have the tears and feel what she needs to, but know that she is making her country proud.
Ru stopped the love fest to announce that they would be continuing the vibes by posing for profile pics for the queer male dating app Archer. Serving thirst trap quick drag. Kitty was a slutty Patsy Stone, Tessa was a literal blow-up doll, Nehellenia was delightfully demented, Gala was rich and stunning, Kween gave butch Beyonce, Pythia gave hairy Lisa Rinna while Alyssa was just glorious and gorgeous. Oh and then Vanity stole the show giving plumped perfection. Well, until she popped. Given Gala serves sex at all times, she rightly took home victory. The love didn’t stop there, though, as Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be playing the Snatch Game of Love trying to win the hearts of Supremme’s boys, Los Javis.
After Ru exited, the dolls split up to talk through their characters while Vanity and Kween speculated who would struggle in the challenge. Both in agreement that Gala could run into problems, given she was in the bottom in her original season. While Alyssa tried to get her to remember all she needs to do it make Ru laugh, not to a killer impression. Just like that, Ru was summoned as Tessa shared that she would be playing Susanne Bartsch, Kween was considering doing the Rock OR an undisclosed mystery character. Nehellenia spoke about being nervous about the challenge, with Ru encouraging her to ignore the questions and just be fun. Alyssa was rocking Annie Oakley like All Stars 2, Vanity was planning to do the euphoric Loreen – much to Ru’s nerves – while Gala was planning to do Mexican icon Laura Leon. Pythia was going with Arnie despite Ru wanting her to play a Greek or Canadian icon, while Kitty was going to play Princess Di, may she rest in peace.
As is oft the case, Ru’s visit got a few of the queens in their heads with Pythia thinking about pivoting to Zeus. Despite the fact she would need to build a look from scratch and find the character in 10 minutes.
We pivoted to the Snatch Game of Love set where the first four dolls got ready to face off for Javier Calvo’s affection. Kween Kong as Kween Schlong, Gala was sticking with the drama of Laura Leon, Kitty stuck with Di and Nehellenia was cute as Valentino. Not to be confused with Valentina. Kween was surprisingly funny, poor Gala was one note after following Ru’s advice to lean into the telenovela and Nehellenia was on point. The first panel was owned by Kitty, however, playing glum Princess Di to perfection. Which was all it took to win Javi’s heart. Javier Ambrossi traded out with his husband as Vanity’s Loreen, Alyssa’s Annie, Tessa’s Susanne and Pythia’s frat-bro Zeus jumped in to fight for his affections. Alyssa was full Alyssa, Vanity was demented, Tessa was silly and fun, though in my opinion, this was Pythia’s panel, giving toxic masculinity perfection. Sadly though, Javi felt Alyssa deserved the win.
Oh and then the Javis made out, which was glorious.
Elimination Day arrived with Tessa disappointed to not own the challenge, though felt ok, given it is the hardest challenge. Alyssa meanwhile gushed over Pythia’s performance, particularly since she pulled it together in ten minutes. Vanity meanwhile was worried about the entirety of Sweden hating her. Meanwhile on the other side of the room Kitty opened up about sleeping with a fan, as Alyssa suggested they should have paid a booking fee given that is what they wanted. Vanity opened up about falling in love with her teenage crush and ugh, it is so sweet and I love everything about it. Kitty was not sure if she would end up with a DBE or be banned from returning home, as Pythia suggested she could actually be assassinated.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Los Javis as Kween Kong opened the Eat Me runway serving Mother Hubbard does Pavlova. Gala was a gorgeous candy confection before stripping down and serving skin, so yeah, that’s a win. Kitty gave full English breakfast – aka a full geezer – Nehellenia was a Bowie-esque cassata, Vanity was a rotted Swedish Fish, Alyssa gave Barbie sundae, Tessa was a stunning swiss cheese while Pythia closed the show as a gorgeous spanakopita.
Kween and Alyssa were sent to safety backstage where Alyssa was gutted to once again be safe. Particularly since she was the snatchelor’s choice. Back on the mainstage, the judges read poor Gala for filth given she gave no jokes at all. Despite looking and sounding perfect. That being said, her runway was gorgeous. Particularly her body. Kitty on the other hand was praised for giving no-stop laughs during Snatch Game and looking stunning on the runway, Nehellenia was praised for picking a hilarious character and leaning into her strengths. And for being so versatile on the runway. Poor Vanity was read for filth for giving nothing more than a look on Snatch Game. Tessa was read for giving no character on Snatch Game, though she was praised for looking stunning. Albeit a bit cheesy. Pythia, meanwhile, was beloved for being so stupid on Snatch Game. To quote Michelle, she was fucking brilliant, pacifically. And once again looking perfect on the runway. Despite the wig, IMO.
Backstage Pythia was on cloud nine after her stunning critiques, with Tessa saying she got the best of the season. Despite Kitty being equally beloved. Talk turned to the bottoms with Gala and Vanity confident it would be them, with Tessa hoping she had done enough to skate by another week. Before poor Vanity suggested that she is just a boring queen, with her sisters assuring her that she is funny.
Ultimately Kitty snuck away with the win as Pythia was deemed only safe – robbery – alongside Nehellenia. While Gala and Vanity were set through to the lip sync, Tessa slid by just as she hoped. I then thought it was a Drag Race France 1 music rights situation, as The Muppets’ Mah Na Mah Na kicked off for the lip sync, but alas it was real. And given there was no possible way to make it sexy, Vanity owned the show, giving equal parts stupid and attitude. And while Gala put in a valiant effort, her run of luck ran out as she sadly exited the competition.
Inspired by Ru’s now questionable advice, I leant into the telenovela drama of Gala’s exit. As she walked off stage, I pulled her in for a passionate embrace, and dramatically assured her that she is a star. Whether she wins a crown or not. Because, dun dun DUN, she won my heart, my loins and a glorious Hamburgala Varo Steak.
Hamburg steaks are one of my favourite dishes from Japan. They are so homey and cute, but mostly unexpected. In no small part thanks to the tart wine glaze and the gloriously smooth cheese.
Enjoy!
Hamburgala Varo Steak Serves: 2 dear friends or lovers.
Ingredients olive oil 1 onion, diced 500g beef mince 250g pork mince ¾ cup panko breadcrumbs 1 large egg 3 tbsp milk 2 tbsp soy sauce 200g cream cheese, cut into 8 cubes ¼ cup beef stock ¼ cup water 2 tbsp unsalted butter ½ cup red wine 3 tbsp ketchup ¼ cup Worcestershire sauce
Method Heat a good lug of oil in a frying pan over medium heat and cook for 5 minutes, or until sweet and soft. Transfer to a large mixing bowl and allow to cool for about 10 minutes. Add the minces, breadcrumbs, egg, milk and soy, along with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch with your hands until well combined before dividing into 8 patties. Make a dent in each pattie, fill with the cheese and close to seal it in similar to how you would a Juicy Lucy Liu. Pop on a lined plate and pop in the fridge to set for about half an hour.
In the same frying pan, heat a little more oil over medium heat and once scorching, add the patties and gently flatten with a spatula. Cook for a few minutes before slipping and cooking for a further few minutes. Add the beef stock and water, pop on a lid and let it steam for another five minutes to cook through but keep nice and juicy.
Once cooked through, remove the patties from the pan to rest. With the pan still on, add the butter, red wine, ketchup and Worcestershire and simmer for 2 minutes, or until rich and glossy. Serve the patties immediately with some rice, green and a generous drizzle of the sauce. And devour, ravenously.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Mark and Caroline tried to repair their relationship, eyt again, after multiple attempts at booting each other. Though Caroline assured us it was only because she has other plans for him. After the new Titans lost a very physical immunity challenge, Feras and Kirby feigned burying the hatchet for 20 minutes before each faction attempted to use the Titans to take control. Tribal Council spooked both Garrick and Aileen, who begged Feras to play his idol for Garrick, in case the OG Titans played them and joined with Kirby. Which is exactly what they did, as Garrick was booted from the game. While Aileen assured Kirby she never voted for her, which is kind of a moot point, no?
Back at camp Feras congratulated everyone on a well executed blindside, which surprised Kirby, as she thought it was clear they were targeting Garrick. Feras tried to run the numbers back at camp with Aileen pointing out she voted Kelli as a Plan C, while everyone agreed they think Feras has an idol. Which he then straight up admitted to it, meaning Kelli, obviously, didn’t buy it, as Aileen told Kelli she was sure that she had one too. Feras then went to catch up with the OG Titans and while he assured them there were no hard feelings, he promised us that revenge will be his and he won’t stop until he has their heads on a spike. So insert this week’s iconic Shonee revenge arc, should he be interested in being more iconic, say, like Raymond.
Over at the Rebels, Alex was bathing in his speedos while Caroline, Kitty and Rianna watched on, deciding whether they could be bothered washing off. Rianna meanwhile was nervous about how things would play out on the tribe, given she and Alex are on the outs. And Alex, apparently, has no idea what he is doing. When Rianna has literally fumbled the ball on multiple occasions in just three weeks. Rianna stuck with the girls, despite the fact they gave her a fake name and planned to blindside her at the last tribal council. She had a private moment with Caroline, assuring her that if they stay close, she has numbers on the other side and can get her further. Which is a reason not to keep her, but whatever, Alex is the worse player. After Caroline asked what she would do about the situation with Mark, she suggested getting rid of him ASAP. Though Caroline wisely, seemed non-committal.
We checked in with the Titans where Kirby was feeling her oats and oh so smug, now that she was in control. Case in point being that Aileen asked to chat about tribal council and she told her no, instead going for a swim with Scott. She then went further, smirking as she watched Feras and laughed about him being alone. Aileen’s bad day got worse as she checked in with Kelli, who told her she was angry that she voted for her, again, as Aileen laughed to us about how she is the only person that appears bothered by it. As Aileen finally got time to chat with Kirby, Feras immediately popped up and joined them. Aileen told Kirby that not voting for her last night was a show of faith, though obviously Kirby wasn’t really buying it, as Feras suggested she would be better off just going to find another idol. As he once again reminded Kirby that he genuinely has an idol.
The tribes met up with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would have to climb over a cargo net to collect balls, transfer them along an obstacle course using poles and have one person scale a tower to shoot said balls into a hoop held up by the rest of the tribe. Feras and Raymond got the Titans out to an early lead as Caroline and Alex took a slower approach at the Rebels. Though they started to close the gap, thanks to Scott dropping a ball. Against all odds, Charles thankfully powered despite being paired with Kelli, allowing them to stay out in front. Aileen meanwhile was busy talking to Valeria on the bench, assuring her that while they didn’t vote together, she hopes they can work together in the future. As Valeria just offered that she doesn’t trust Feras. The Titans had all the balls at the end and started shooting before the Rebels even collected one. Thankfully for the Rebels, the Titans struggled to get a hang of the challenge, allowing the Rebels plenty of time to learn from their mistakes. And then demolish shooting their baskets one after the other, jagging an epic come from behind win. Almost out of nowhere.
Back at camp they tried to hold their heads high, despite Jaden demolishing them on his lonesome. Feras meanwhile was nervous, given the alliance appeared to be airtight. Charles and Valeria went for a wander with Kirby to float the idea of splitting the vote between Feras and Aileen, given Aileen annoyed Valeria during the challenge. As they locked in pretending Raymond was the other person, rather than Aileen, she popped up to ask to pitch her case. Charles asked her to give them a minute before talking things through, which obviously annoyed her. Eventually Valeria and Charles caught up with Aileen to see if Feras genuinely has an idol, with her assuring them that he does despite not having seen it. Charles then floated that once Feras is gone, they may be able to work with her, which is the information I would take back to Kirby.
Charles and Winna meanwhile were hanging out in the water tossing beans around, as Kelli joined and they discussed how to spell Aileen’s name. Winna joked to us that all he cares about is flushing out Feras’ idol, very grateful that his has remained secret from everyone on the new tribe. He caught up with Feras and Aileen by the shelter, with Feras pointing out that aligning with Kibry is the best option moving forward, given she has numbers on the other side, which she will gladly go back to come the merge. Winna then straight up told Feras that that is just a pitch, and he isn’t buying it. Leaving Feras to be sure that he can only really trust Raymond at this point. Right on cue, Raymond was catching up with Scott and Kelli, who were imploring him to flip and vote with the majority, as they love him so much, they want to go to merge with them. As they begged him to vote Aileen or Feras
Raymond and Feras caught up, with Ray encouraging him to make sure he plays the idol tonight. And go make sure that Aileen doesn’t have one. Feras admitting that he would love to vote for Winna more than anyone, given he is immovable and as such, he doesn’t even know if he can really bother playing his idol. Feras then caught up with Kirby for a hail Mary, pointing out that if he goes, followed by Aileen and Raymond, the numbers don’t add up at merge and as such, she needs to go back to getting rid of Titans. And given they are obviously feuding, it is the perfect time to work together. Particularly since he is safe no matter what. Which Kirby took back to her alliance as quickly as possible, assuring them she won’t flip.
At tribal council Feras spoke about the fact he lived for the blindside, despite being on the wrong side of it. Kirby said she was thrilled it went in her favour, and that she will be smiling again tonight, whether things play out for or against her. Aileen once again tried to pitch the OG Rebels come together, with Charles pointing out that she is too shifty and the reason she isn’t going to make it further, is because she and Feras are untrustworthy. Valeria then scalped Feras, calling him a terrible leader and that he was weak for not playing his idol for Garrick. Feras calmly let her talk it through, before going all in on her and ugh, it was spicy and I think they are going to bang. I mean, the thank you master when he was done? It was glorious. Charles then tried to ask Feras if he would play the idol for Aileen if she is in danger, with him agreeing he would. As Feras and Aileen locked in a plan to try and get rid of Charles. Kirby meanwhile spoke about not wanting to move backwards by going Rebel strong, given she has a nice clean slate with the Titans.
Once again Scott begged JLP to allow them to vote, which left him to announce that tonight, things will be a little bit different. You see, someone will be going home, however, not everyone will be voting, as they need to earn it. And that there is a little challenge set up next to tribal council, with the three winners becoming immune and being the only people to vote. So yeah, bye bye Charles, could actually happen.
We pivoted to the challenge where they would race to build a frame out of blocks before tossing sandbags through said frame and landing them on a barrel. The first three to finish without knocking it over keeping their votes and being immune. Kirby assured her allies that she has a plan, and they just need to win. Which, obviously, you are in the majority, Kirby? Meaning they are clearly not winning. Charles, Winna and Raymond were first to build their frames, with Ray promptly knocking it over on the first toss. Eventually they all caught up, with Aileen, out of nowhere, scoring her three points and keeping her vote. She cheered on Feras and Raymond, as Feras scored two alongside Kirby. Kirby then secured her vote as Charles, Winna and Feras raced to secure the third spot with Feras, finally, putting us out of our misery and securing immunity
On the way back to tribal council, everyone was feeling far less smug, as they worried about who Aileen and Feras would be pushing to boot. As Kirby whispered to Aileen that now is the time to clean the slate. You mean, when your back is against the wall, Kirby?! As they returned to tribal council, the tension really rocketed up, with Feras and Aileen looking forward to having a bit of fun. Kirby meanwhile floated that she will happily vote for whoever they wanted, given her vote really doesn’t matter. But if they work together, maybe it will build trust. Which obviously spooked the Titans. Feras reiterated he is planning to have fun, with Winna whispering to Valeria that they simply need to get the votes on him and he will play his idol. He then went in on Feras, trying to attract the votes, which everyone found super odd.
Feras asked for last ditch pleas, with Charles pointing out they are all logical and as such, a vote for any of them makes sense. Feras asked if anyone is actually planning to work with him, with Charles and Valeria agreeing they’d consider it, while Winna gave him a big fat no. Winna then asked Kirby who he should play his idol for, with her rightly pointing out Charles. As Ray was just hopeful the rift between Kirby and Feras would heal after tonight. Well, after Kelli told him to be positive, that is. With that the trio voted, Winna played his idol for himself, negating one vote for him, leaving Feras to hold onto his for another day as Charles and Raymond were tied. With that, the trio re-voted and Charles was shown the door, officially.
As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled Charles in for a hug and assured him that sometimes, particularly Down Under, you get swap screwed. And that is why you should never go too far with rubbing the minority’s noses in it, given you just never know when that will come back to bite you. Like it did just now. And while it was a bitter pill for him to swallow, a bowl of Charles French Noonion Pasta made him feel better.
This viral little TikTok number may not necessarily sound delicious, but hot damn, it is. Sweet, rich and vetvety smooth, it is the most warming dish for your coldest days. Or when you get burnt, for trying to be cold to the minority, maybe.
Enjoy!
Charles French Noonion Pasta Serves: 6.
Ingredients ¼ cup butter 2 large onions, thinly sliced kosher salt and pepper, to taste ¼ cup sherry ½ cup vermouth 10 sprigs thyme, leaves removed 500g rigatoni 6 cups beef stock 2 tsp worcestershire sauce ½ cup parmesan cheese, grated ½ cup cream
Method Pop the butter in a dutch oven over medium heat and once melted and foamy, add the onions and a pinch of salt, and cook, stirring occasionally, for 30 minutes or until caramelised.
Once sweet and sticky, add the sherry and vermouth, deglazing all the stuck brown bits from the bottom of the pan. Stir in the thyme leaves and season with salt and pepper, before adding the rigatoni, stock and worcestershire. Stir, bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook for 15 minutes, or until the pasta is tender. Covering if you lose too much liquid.
Remove from the heat and stir in the parmesan and cream until combined, returning to the heat for a minute or so to heat through. Serve immediately with a generous helping of extra parmesan and devour. Like a shady icon.
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Previously on Australian Survivor after finally vanquishing sweet Simon, the tribe battled it out for a guaranteed spot in the final four, with Liz taking out immunity. And promptly rallying Nina and George to work with her to get rid of Matt, given he was her biggest threat. Sadly for her, George was getting nervous about rehashing his mistakes from the previous season, so didn’t want to blindside Gerry in the process of getting rid of Matt. This put him well and truly in the middle of the two duos, making him, once again, all powerful. Sadly for the girls, Nina gave a stellar tribal council performance, which sadly proved that she was the bigger threat – and confirmed she will vote for the best game – scaring George into flipping and taking her out with the boys. Though again, it also gave us our first Twine on the jury.
Back at camp George congratulated everyone on making it to the top four while Liz death stared at him, irate that he had ruined her plan once again and made her path to the final two that much more difficult. Later that night George dropped by to apologise to Liz who straight up cussed him out for signing her death warrant while he was sitting pretty with the boys. George however wasn’t bothered that she was salty given he was essentially choosing which final three he wanted to go with and he still technically has options, given she either votes with him at the next tribal council if he wants to take a shot, or she gets voted out.
The next day Liz was still super nervous, unsure how she was going to navigate the remaining days in the game. And I assume a little bit angry at herself for letting George blindside her again with Nina, just like he did our lord and saviour Shonee Bowtell. Once again though, she knew she had to suck up her feelings and caught up with him in the shelter, with George explaining Nina speaking so well at tribal is what made him change his mind. Liz pretended she was all good, though didn’t bother telling him about what Nina said to her on her way out the door. George then told us he just couldn’t break Gerry’s trust once more, whereas he knew it would be easier to win Liz back. Though he assured her that if Matt wins the next immunity, he will join her in finally getting rid of Gerry.
George next caught up with the boys, reminding them how hard they have worked to avoid the jury, with George telling us how given the jury is made up of only returning players, should he make it to the end, he will be rewarded for dominating the game. Gerry and Matt meanwhile were talking about the path ahead, both genuinely wanting to go to the final three with George and pledging their undying loyalty, before confirming what we have long suspected and that they assume it is a final two, at which point they are looking to cut him just before final tribal council as their big move.
While poor Liz just knew that she was completely screwed should she not win immunity.
Right on cue the final four met Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge. Or so they thought! Instead, it was a challenge for an extra vote at tonight’s tribal council, meaning there is definitely going to be a twist, because they won’t leave George without the chance of immunity at the final four. But anyway, back to the challenge as this one is a biggy! They would race to swim to shore and collect balls, land them in a shoot, crawl under a net and then solve a puzzle before climbing stairs and landing sandbags on five platforms. Matt took out an early lead with Liz nipping at his heels before George and Gerry somehow overtook her. That being said, the other three were kind of irrelevant as Matt continued to power ahead, solving his puzzle as Gerry arrived at the table, while George and Liz desperately tried to close the gap. Matt then got to work tossing his sacks, landing one after the other before anyone else even joined him, promptly taking out the extra vote.
After handing over said vote, Jonathan announced that tonight they will not be voting someone out of the tribe. (Side note: duh). Instead it is the return of the infamous juror removal twist and oh shit, I feel sick because Shonee has been mentioned multiple times already this episode and given Matt and Gerry now have three votes and they know she isn’t voting for them, she is toast. Oh and then JLP confirmed it is a final three, with final immunity coming up tomorrow before the final person will be voted out and replace the juror they eliminate tonight.
Back at camp the final four celebrated making it to the final immunity challenge before popping on some rice ahead of a vastly different kind of scramble. For some reason George started to talk to Matt about the fact that if you have a guaranteed vote, you’re that much closer to winning now that only 7 people will be voting for 3 people. George then went to Liz, both agreeing that getting rid of Simon is the best idea for them, given he is least likely to vote for them. The bad thing being that should be very clear to both Gerry and Matt, so therefore they should keep him.
George and Liz joined the other two to try and sell it as revenge for Simon calling everyone pawns. Sadly for them, Matt gave them a non-committal response while Gerry suggested Nina would vote for Liz for being a female, rather than looking at the game. Liz rightly was offended by that with him explaining he just meant that they were closer and as such, she is way more likely to be swayed by her. Matt then shared with us that his extra vote puts even more pressure on him, given it could be the decision between winning and losing. Matt pulled George aside and told him he is open to both Nina and Simon, however feels like if Liz is sitting at final tribal council – because his and Gerry’s plan to go to three with the King has totally changed now – Shonee is a guaranteed vote for her and as such, she makes the most sense. George tried to point out Simon doesn’t deserve a vote, though stupidly didn’t try to explain that if he and Liz both make it to the end, they split Shonee and as such, make it a tiny bit easier for him to squeak out a win. I mean sure, it isn’t a great pitch, but it is literally the only one we’ve got to keep Shonee vibing on the jury.
Matt then pulled Gerry aside to float his horrible, no good plan. He told Gerry it is very clear they are being played by George with the Simon vote, given he is a guaranteed vote for one of them. Matt continued, explaining that since it is now a final three, they need to adjust their plans and get rid of George at the next vote. And therefore if they go to the final three with Liz, they need to get rid of the only guaranteed vote for her, in Shonee. George filled Liz in on the drama, with Liz telling him to get down to the shore and break it up as they can’t lose Shonee. With Matt expertly playing derpy and telling him they have realised getting rid of Simon makes the most sense as he arrived. Gerry and Matt then spoke about trying to play their cards close to their chest at tribal council so as not to spook anyone, while trying to weigh up who is the better option of going to the final three given everyone loves Liz while George has played the best game. Before Gerry wisely pointed out that George also has a lot of hate against him from the jury and as such, maybe he isn’t a guaranteed winner.
While Gerry just felt like tonight was a chance for him to draw a line in the sand by either going with Matt to eliminate Shonee, or sticking with George to take out Simon.
At tribal council Jonathan quickly caught the jury up on what would be happening tonight, explaining that one of them will be leaving tonight, which obviously pissed all of them off. Particularly Shonee, who appeared to know the writing was on the wall. George spoke about this being the most important tribal council he has ever attended since the winner will only need to secure three or four votes to win. Matt opened up about being the one with the extra vote tonight, and how while he has power, he still needs one other person to agree with who should go out. Gerry admitted two names were on the table pack at camp and that both are warranted to go out. George meanwhile spoke about how fierce debate was back at camp and as such, suggested things may still be up in the air, as Liz interjected and pointed out that she had actually thought they were on the same page.
George whispered to Gerry to see who he was thinking about voting out, with George reiterating he will be taking out Simon as Gerry gave him nothing. Matt spoke about how they need to make a choice between getting rid of a guaranteed vote for someone else or just someone they think will be bitter. As Gerry and George continued to whisper, Gerry told him he had a bad feeling about all the girls on the jury being locked in behind Liz before George pointed out that since she won’t be at the final tribal council, it shouldn’t matter. But you could kind of tell he realised he is definitely going out in fourth and maybe should have kept Nina. Matt and Liz then got in on the whispering, with Liz asking if we’re all losing Shonee before Matt announced he is confused, but ready to vote nonetheless. With that the tribe voted and Gerry finally swayed from George, though tragically it broke the hearts of the nation in the process, as he, Matt and even George removed Shonee from the jury. Which was 100% the correct move for two of them, but it doesn’t make me hate it any less.
As she just cruised on out of there and even further into our hearts.
The next day the final four were jubilant to officially be the last ones standing, with Gerry sharing how at the start he was ready to ride it out with the Heroes until they sent him to the Villains without any concern, leading to the second best revenge arc behind Queen Shon’s in All Stars. But just ahead of Stevie’s in this season, given it went nowhere. George meanwhile was just shocked to still be in the game given he came in with such an epic target. And now he just needs to survive one more tribal council to take out his deserved victory. His words. Matt on the other hand was shocked to have made it there, though knew that without immunity everything could come crumbling down. In the form of Liz, who knows she is out next without immunity, though you know she is ready to fight and given she is an Olympian, you know she has the resolve.
After a brief glimpse of Kristie, Lee, Jericho and Peter in their respective final challenges, the newest final four arrived at a cliff face to discover this year’s final immunity challenge. Which will feature them all standing on a narrow perch holding a handle above their head, while JLP will turn a crank pushing blunt spearheads into their backs to make things as uncomfortable as possible. But before that, he delivered a little bit of love to help motivate them. First up was iconic cooking queen Cara for George, followed by Liz’s boyfriend Daniel, Gerry’s fiance Pam and Matt’s pregnant wife Kirsty and oh lord, I’m crying, they’re crying, everyone’s crying.
The visitors were promptly kicked off to a bench to watch their loved ones be tortured as they speculated how long they would be up in the devices. After JLP gave the crank a spin, the boys all complained as Liz suggested it was nothing and begged JLP to give it another crank. Which you know he did! Instantly the boys started to feel the pain while the two-time Olympian laughed with glee. Mother nature then joined in the fun, unleashing a deluge of rain as they fought for an hour before JLP whipped out his crank to further dig the spikes into their backs. Which was all it took to take out Gerry, as he stepped off the perch while his competitors sweetly praised him for doing so well. After two hours and an additional crank, George suggested nobody wanted the win more than him with Liz calmly telling him he is wrong and to just wait and see. We got to three hours before Jonathan gave the spears another crank which saw George start to struggle, badly, as he begged Matt to hold on, before ultimately dropping out. Leaving Liz to battle Matt for final immunity. After four hours Liz started to get the shakes as Daniel willed her on before she requested JLP dish out one final crank.
As the loved ones watched on with baited breath, George swapped seats and started chatting to Gerry, telling him that all they need to do is stick together at the next vote and there is a way forward for them. Liz continued to breathe through the pain before Matt’s hand slipped off, handing Liz final immunity. And ideally, crowning her our winner.
Back at camp George was very nervous about the newbies banding together to take him out, though was confident in his ability to plot and scheme. Even in such a shitty predicament. Knowing she would have been out of the game if she didn’t take out immunity, Liz was well and truly feeling her oats and ready to finally get her revenge on George and send him out of the game. Gerry meanwhile congratulated everyone on fighting so hard in the challenge, talking about how humbled he was by their performance. He then took it one step further, telling everyone that he didn’t deserve to go to tribal council and begged them all to vote him out. Which George obviously jumped at, promising to do his wishes before getting to work wooing Matt and Liz.
George first pulled Matt aside to tell him how important it would be for them to just vote out Gerry and guarantee their place in the final three. And while he agreed to George’s face, he knew he couldn’t do it to Gerry and instead told him he would actually be voting for George and if he wanted to avoid making fire, he should vote out George too. Speaking of George, he pulled Liz aside to try his best, with Liz too pretending to be all in on the Gerry vote, though obviously, that would not be happening. Because revenge. Though George was confident Liz would have his back and as such, was ready to march to the end and take out victory.
At tribal council the jury were absolutely delighted to see that Liz had immunity – I wish Shon was here to see this – before she opened up about her own pride to have come out on top after such an epic, intense challenge. Particularly with her boyfriend there. George immediately cut her off to talk about how driven Liz is and how proud of her he is, while Liz spoke about the fact she was so driven because she knew she had literally no other option. Matt meanwhile was gutted to be the one coming in second, talking about how now they need to be smart about who they send out of the game. Gerry on the other hand spoke about how hard it would be to vote for either Matt or George. With that the tribe voted and despite Gerry’s plea the newbies banded together to take out George, as Liz wisely whispered in his ear that she finally got him.
As George arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and praised him on such a dominating performance. While he was disappointed to be eliminated so close to the end, he admitted he was expecting his massive target to take him out early so was thrilled he was once again able to find his feet and dominate. I then did a quick detour and yelled at him for turning on Shonee too soon and robbing us gays of our mother. I mean, I know she was planning to turn on him at the next vote, but given siding with the newbies landed him on jury, I would have preferred to see a wee more exciting end game by having her stick around a little longer.
While I would argue that come the merge, George got lucky that people knew he would be an easy vote at the endgame, there is no denying that he once again proved himself to be a master strategist. And that alone deems him worthy of going out as the fourth place robbed goddess of the season and the piping hot Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov prize that goes along with it.
Boeuf bourguignon is one of those dishes that has the power to convert even the most vehement beef naysayers of its delight. The meat melts in your mouth as the sweet, rich sauce washes over your tongue and fills you with glee.
Enjoy!
Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 200g bacon, diced 1.5kg beef brisket, trimmed and cut into a large dice 1 carrot, thickly sliced 1 onion, diced 10 cloves garlic, minced kosher salt and pepper, to taste 2 tbsp flour 12 French shallots, peeled 3 cups red wine 2 cups beef stock 2 tbsp tomato paste 1 tsp fresh thyme, finely chopped 2 tbsp fresh parsley, finely chopped 2 bay leaves 2 tbsp butter 500g small mushrooms, quartered
Method Pop the oil in a large dutch oven and sauté the bacon over medium heat for a few minutes, or until crispy and browned. Transfer with a slotted spoon to a bowl and set aside. In batches, brown the beef on all sides in the glorious bacon fat before using the spoon to transfer to the bacon dish. Finally, add the carrots and onions to the pan and cook for a few minutes before adding 6 of the garlic cloves and cooking for a minute, or until fragrant. Drain off the fat, leaving a tablespoon or two, before returning the beef and bacon to the pot. Stir in the flour with a good whack of salt and pepper, and cook for about five minutes, or until browned. Add the shallots, wine and stock, the latter to just cover the meat, before stirring in the paste and herbs. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and cover before simmering for a few hours.
While the beef is rollicking, heat the butter in a large saucepan until foaming before adding the remaining garlic and cooking for a minute or so, or until fragrant. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally to coat, for about five minutes, or until browned and plump. Season with salt and pepper, before transferring to a plate.
Remove the bay leaves from the casserole, before stirring in the mushrooms and skimming off any of the excess fat that rises to the surface as it cooks until it reduces to a glossy liquid, enough to coat a spoon. Adjust seasoning before serving with a gloriously buttery mash and devouring, like a king.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, which started out as a teeny, tiny show whose first challenge was filmed in the car park behind WoW opposite the Jim Hensen offices – which I’m not sure is a legit fact, but for some reason I think it is so let’s run with it – turned into a global phenomenon. Icons were born, legends were made, moments were gagged, we were left gooped and Ruple and Co. became bonafide Emmy powerhouses. But most importantly, it gave us back rolls, Alyssa’s secret, do-wa, Aja jumping from there, a confession to killing Judy Garland and a Snatch Game throwbackto that moment, absolving said veteran of said murder. But that was then and this is now, as Season 15 is ready to take its lap. Sadly without chocolate.
First to enter for this fifteenth (main franchise) crown was Irene Dubois looking like a ginger COVID virus and well, she is hot out of drag and is Bosco’s drag sister, so I love her. She was followed by Luxx Noir London looking like Bowie and Dynasty era Joan Collins had a baby whose hair was inspired by Ariana Grande. So again, I love her. As the duo got shady, Aura Mayari arrived and gave glamour as she vogued her way into the Werk Room and straight into my heart. And loins, out of drag obviously. Giving cousin IT by Cher from Clueless, we met Marcia Marcia Marcia and after she flicked her hair back to reveal she was rocking the iconic broken nose look, I live for her.
Though not as much as I love people clocking her as looking like (a) Jan.
As she was busy regalling her new sisters with her love of Ariana Grande and serving it on Broadway thanks to her BFA (like Jan, TBH), we were joined by Anetra who is giving off fun punk showgirl vibes and well, I love her energy so much and feel like she is going to slay. Which I hope isn’t the kiss of death because my support usually curses trajectories. They were joined by Malaysia Babydoll Foxx serving the sluttiest depression kitty I have ever seen and I love her. LOVE. She is charming, cute and has a voice like velvet. Princess Poppy arrived serving Art Simone’s twink sister in the best way possible. Though her sticking her ears inside themselves scares me because I’m a child. Then Sasha Colby happened and well, yeah, I stand by what I said earlier, crown her. Now. She was serving as a Hawaiian warrior queen and had the energy that she was ready to have fun and slay.
We then had Ornacia make her triumphant return and ugh, I LIVE. Wait, no it is Ariana Grande. Whistle tone queen, icon, legend and well, let’s just say, I’m as gagged as the dolls.
As Marcia started to hyperventilate, Ariana gave the dolls a hug and thanked them for bringing so much joy to the world. While Luxx in turn thanked her for Break Free which TBH, is correct. Ariana regalled everyone with tales of her previous time on the judging panel and encouraged them to take in every moment and enjoy the journey. Ru then stole her thunder, dropping by to welcome his newest daughters to the race and officially announce the doubled up prize. Oh but first, they would have to compete in a little throwback Mini Challenge doing a sexy photoshoot washing the car. With the Pit Crew, so swoon.
The boys started spraying themselves as they washed the car before Irene dropped by and bathed in it, living her bukkake dream and TBH, that is the only way to do it. Luxx meanwhile got wet in all the wrong ways though thankfully still served. Aura was ready to touch them all and ugh, it was hot and I love it, while Marcia served good girl gone bad. Backstage Marcia was thirsty for boy Irene while Luxx was scared of her, meanwhile Anetra was drowning out in the carpark and had Ru cackling. Malaysia was heartbroken to ruin her good drag but hot damn did she serve while Poppy got her holes filled and Sasha tried to give supermodel, despite not loving the fact she didn’t get said moment.
As everyone dedragged they all clocked Aura as the trade of the season – including Aura – and were positively shocked that Marcia looks exactly the same in and out of drag. Talk turned to what the other group would look like before Ru interrupted them talking about Irene’s passion for reading everyone to announce that she took out the win in the Mini Challenge. Much to Luxx’s surprise. Ru then filled the dolls in on the fact their first Maxi Challenge would be a little talent show titled One Night Only (said with jazz hands, obvi). And in addition to their individual performances, they would have to choreograph an opening number together.
The group quickly ventured backstage and talked through their skills, with Marcia pushing to take the reins in the choreography and while Aura tried to add to it, Mother Sasha quietly watched on, knowing that she would end up fixing whatever they came up with and get her new kids over the line. As the kids continued to fight back and forth for control Irene joined Sasha in asking one of them to just back out and let the other take the lead so they don’t get stuck with two different choreographies.
As Group 1 descended into chaos, the crew reset the Werk Room just in time for Salina EsTitties arrived giving banjie energy and was totally jacked up on Mountain Dew and I live for it. She was quickly joined by Amethyst serving 2000 pop tween, claiming herself as the first viral TikTok queen to make it to Drag Race. Jax arrived ready to cheer the house down and called herself the Simone Biles of drag, so yeah, I stan. They were joined by Loosey LaDuca who looks like a campy, nice version of Sh3rry Pi3 in blonde. Which isn’t a read, despite how it may sound. Mistress Isabelle Brooks was up next serving short, goth Eureka and I love everything about her. Robin Fierce joined them looking like a stunning woman in tan and ugh, I love her. Oh and she and Amethyst have a past and while I was ready to ship, she told me I can’t, so that is that. We then got a double arrival as Sugar and Spice trotted in serving actual dolls and while Amethyst thought she was the TikTok superstar, these girls are the thing.
Though Mistress will not give them the pleasure of knowing she knows them.
As the dolls recovered from learning they are only bedroom queens, Sugar opened up about wanting to be part of the drag community and wanting friends which is equally sweet and heartbreaking. We then got another Ornacia entry, this time with the legit Vivacious who announced Ru’s arrival to welcome the rest of her daughters to the competition and put them to the test in their Mini Challenge, the drag race wind machine photoshoot classic. Salina was up first and served sex and speeding as her face blew away, Amethyst gave Timezone realness while snacking on leaves before Jax was all erotic, no auto. Mistress was smizing the house down, Loosey lived her Tippi Hedron fantasy through feathers while Robin was perfection, whether the fan gave her a beard or not.
As the twins made it to the stage for their shoot, the other girls kikied about Sugar and Spice being inexperienced with Mistress opening up about how underwhelming they are to her. And while everyone reminded her they were cute and sweet, she felt like not knowing what wig glue is was a mortal sin. And well, I’m here for the shade. Sugar meanwhile was having fun on the bike, serving silly and ridiculous before Spice ripped off her wig against Ru’s advice, serving hairography with a shower cap. They rejoined the dolls as everyone dedragged with Sugar and Spice gagging over their sisters and praising them for looking so different out of drag. Mistress kinda admitted to reading them and threw down a challenge for them to impress her, while they just spewed talk at the girls, trying to make friends and well, I love everything about them despite myself.
Ru made yet another return to announce Loosey took out victory in the Mini Challenge, which emboldened her to declare she will be the first person to win every challenge. Which already ius not the case. Ru then gave them a spiel about the talent show before sending them off to the rehearsal space, where the other dolls finally appeared to be making progress. Well, until Ru dropped by to kiki and threw the two groups together. The factions lined up like the jets and sharks, ready for two to become one and put more choreographers amongst the queens before Ru announced that unlike last year, one of them will be going home before the end of the week.
After Ru departed the groups introduced themselves and sat down to get to know each other, with Sugar and Spice monologuing about their lives and while they annoyed everyone else, I love their lack of self awareness. Also Sugar kinda looks like young(er) Austin Butler minus the lingering accent work. Group 1 then got up to show their newest sisters their choreography with Mistress laughing through it with her soon-to-be-bestie Sugar. While Marcia tried to push through, Malaysia cut her off and then everyone started to fight before Mistress cut them off and asked them to focus on the task at hand because dancing is her weakness and she doesn’t want to bomb. Then she and Irene got sassy and Sugar and Spice started quietly laughing together.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls finally unpacking their gear and finding a station with everyone laughing it up and being silly. Sugar and Spice meanwhile just focused on beating their mugs because they take so damn long. Irene meanwhile measured up her wig against Luxx’s to confirm whether her entry was 40 inches. Defeated, Luxx then joined the twins to get ready, bonding over being social media queens and how it really is the only way they can start when they aren’t old enough to go to a club. Sugar then noticed Mistress and Irene were sitting together and was shocked that the enemies elected to get ready together, leading to the older girls explaining shade and how being a working queen works. Loosey, Anetra and Amethyst meanwhile were talking about their talents with Loosey opening up about her original song, while Anetra was keeping her cards close to her chest. Oh and then we learnt Irene is making ice water.
While Sugar and Spice were still nowhere near being ready to go on while everyone put on their finishing touches.
Ru, Michelle, Ross and Ariana took their places on the panel as the dolls made their debut for the opening number which was a campy, pageant delight and ugh, I’ve missed this show (in the two weeks we went without it). Malaysia meanwhile opened up the individual performances, lip syncing the house down to an original song and while it was repetitive, Bryce came out in gold speedos, so I love it. Spice meanwhile was silly and cute, having Ru and the dolls in hysterics, so well done babe. Luxx hit every line and lyric on her lip sync and was honestly just a delight. Though the gradual split really made me love her. Mistress went boxing for her lip sync which was a win when she pulled out a RuPaul chocolate bar and nearly slid off the stage.
Loosey gave us something different by singing live and while I wanted to live for it, to quote the great Coco Montrese, find a key. Anyone will do. Marcia danced her way into my heart as a horny nerd sexing it up for a portrait of Ross. Robin was energetic and worked every corner of the stage as we went back to lip syncs before Irene bombed, hard, while making a glass of iced water and while I knew what she was going for, that wasn’t it. Anetra then followed it up by bringing the house down as she duck walked all over the stage as she lip synced to her original song – Walk the Duck – before straight up moving into karate chopping through boards. AND THEN KICKING A BOARD IN HALF.
Poor Sugar had to follow that up and while her lip sync was fun and silly like the sweet version of her sisters, she didn’t karate chop. Despite that, the fact she and her sister served it wore down Mistress which is a great win. Princess Poppy meanwhile gave parasite puppet lip syncing realness and it was perfect, before Salina gave red carpet lip sync into street glamour before referencing Will Smith’s slap so if Anetra doesn’t Anetra, I’d say this was a win. Amethyst then won my heart lip syncing to All Around the World as a drunk mum with a baby tethered to her back before Aura gave a fierce lip sync and while she had all the attitude, it felt a little flat by comparison. Mother Colby then lip synced to Zombie in a straight jacket and ugh, she is perfection. It was moody, it was fierce, it was powerful and well, the kids best watch out. And then Jax came out and lip synced before skipping with her own ponytails, which is yet another win for me.
And that was before she backflipped from the back of stage to the front, proving she really is the Simone Biles of drag.
When it came to the Who Is She? runways, Irene came in goth alien dominatrix, Luxx gave glamour pastel vixen going from the races to the boudoir before Aura gave all black Rita Repulsa, in all the right ways. Marcia gave sexy pastel prep, Anetra was an iridescent warrior, Malaysia gave sexy angel lounge singer in the hottest club in heaven before Princess Poppy gave lollipop ballerina delight. On and then Sasha gave the ultimate flex, rocking the gown she won Miss Continental in. Salina gave blue jean baby, Amethyst was a slutty, lilac Sailor Moon, Jax was NYC street in all the right ways before Loosey gave a glamorous gown version of Britney in Toxic. Mistress was iconic in a bejewelled, red cowgirl corset, Robin was an ice queen in shimmering baby blue, Sugar gave slutty Belle and ugh, I hate that I love Spice gave the other side of the look – kinda – with whore Ariel.
Luxx, Aura, Malaysia, Princess Poppy, Sasha, Mistress, Robin, Sugar and Spice were all sent to safety before Irene was praised for looking good on the runway though read for giving absolutely no humour in her performance. Marcia received universal praise for giving humour and dancing perfection, though told to give more than a streak of lip gloss when it comes to make-up. Anetra rightly was universally beloved for being perfection from start to finish, despite only learning to duck walk today. Amethyst was read for showing the baby too early in her performance, though she was praised for looking cute. Despite her lack of padding. Jax too got wall to wall praise, particularly for rolling her eyes while effortlessly doing acrobatics meaning poor Loosey was read for her performance, despite looking stunning.
Backstage the safe girls celebrated making it through the first week, particularly Princess and Robin who were shitting their pants. Talk turned to who was the best with everyone agreeing Anetra owned the show, while Poppy lived for Jax. Robin in turn congratulated the twins for surprising everyone with their sickening performances, with everyone rallying around and finally welcoming them into the drag family. This turned into a conversation about the stigma about the social media dolls and while Luxx pointed out social is a live portfolio, Malaysia explained she only questioned if they could translate their talents to the stage. Talk turned to how great Sasha’s performance was, with her opening up about her trauma while praising her father for raising her.
The dolls started to open up about who they knew before the season which was only an excuse to bring up the fact Robin and Amethyst briefly dated back home. That obviously summoned the tops and bottoms with Irene praising the tops for killing it before Amethyst announced she is definitely in the bottom, though hopefully not against her sister Loosey. That led to Loosey breaking down, heartbroken to have bombed, leading to the girls rallying around and praising her for killing it and pointing out they really only wanted her to lip sync so she could make the performance bigger. That led to Irene admitting that she will totally be the one in the bottom with Amethyst given they just hated her performance.
After everyone agreed that Anetra would totally be winning, Ariana dropped by to kiki with the girls and literally gave them the sweetest advice and well, I guess I’m all in on being an Ariana stan now? She bid the girls adieu, leaving Irene and Amethyst to rehearse their lip syncs and get their heads in the game.
Ultimately Marcia and Jax were sent to safety as Anetra took out the first victory of the season while at the other end of the pack it was Loosey that was saved, leaving Amethyst and Irene to battle it out for safety to my girl Ariana’s 7 Rings. While Irene leant into her alien kooky aesthetic, it was clear the song was perfect for Amethyst and her general vibe. Irene twerked and gave sex, which sadly wasn’t enough as Amethyst was saved and poor Irene joined the Porkchop Club.
Backstage Irene was rightly disappointed to be gone so soon and not get to show the world more, though I reminded her – as I do each season – it is more memorable to be a first boot than saying a mid-comp queen, giving you an air of mystery and an underdog spirit. Which seemed to be the pep talk she needed, thanking me for always supporting her – I am Bosco’s drag great-grandmother thrice removed, so we’re family – as we sat down to smash a heart bowl of Irene Hamdubois Helper.
Not to be confused with Australian hamburger helper – which is essentially seasoned breadcrumbs – this tweaked version of Half Baked Harvest’s take on the American classic is near perfection. Packing a punch of spice (sadly without sugar) and heat, while velvety smooth and creamy, it is an easy mid-week number to warm the cockles of your soul in winter.
Enjoy!
Irene Hamdubois Helper Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 6 garlic cloves, minced 500g beef mince kosher salt and pepper 1 tbsp tomato paste 1 tsp chilli powder 1 tsp smoked paprika 1 zucchini, grated 1 carrot, grated 500g small shell pasta 2 cups beef stock 300ml cream 1 cup cheddar cheese, grated ½ cup parmesan cheese, grated chopped fresh parsley, to garnish
Method Heat the olive oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and saute the onion for five minutes or so, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and cook for a minute before adding the mince and breaking up with a wooden spoon until browned, or about 10 minutes. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper to taste.
Stir in the tomato paste, chilli and paprika and cook for a minute before stirring through the zucchini, carrot and pasta to coat. Stir in the beef stock and cream, bring to a gentle boil and reduce heat to low to simmer until the pasta is cooked through. Once the pasta is al dente, stir through the cheeses, adjust the seasoning – you’ll probably need more pepper, less salt – and cook until everything has combined.
Serve piping hot with some token parsley for the appearance of health and devour, happily.
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Previously on Survivor Omar continued to take control of the post-merge game, quietly pulling Mike aside to warn him about Hai no longer having his back. All while Hai was gratefully reflecting on how close he and Mike had gotten in the game. After Lindsay won an overnight reward, she selected Omar and Mike to join her, giving Omar plenty of time to completely turn Mike against Hai. After Lindsay took out immunity, the tribe wanted to finally take a shot and get rid of Jonathan before he had the chance to go on an immunity run. Luckily for him, Omar’s mist proved too powerful as he swayed she tribe to blindside Hai instead.
Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to have come together for the blindside, and while Mike in particular was thrilled to get his revenge on Hai for playing him – which I repeat, did not happen – everyone just quietly added that yeah, yeah, it was good. That being said, Romeo was also particularly smug to have gotten rid of the only person that was targetting him, knowing that the underdogs are almost at the point where they can take control. While Lindsay was just thrilled that her and Drea’s amulets were now a steal a vote.
The next day things were far more chill as Drea was regaling everyone with tales, while Maryanne shocked them with the fact that she loses toenails at least twice a year. Which yeah, is wild but it is Maryanne, so I love her. And the fact that like Romeo, she is readying herself to take control and earn the win. Sadly for her, while she and Romeo talked about gaining power, the rest of the tribe hung on the beach bitching about Romeo and how they are going to get rid of him for doing absolutely nothing to help around camp. Instead snacking on leftover rice and jumping on board with any and all plans screw everyone else over. The beach crew then locked in a final five alliance and while it all looked kosher, Mike assured Omar that he still wants Drea gone as she is the biggest threat left in the game.
Which made Omar nervous, given Mike clearly is growing mad with power.
We then fast forwarded to day 20, with Jonathan opening up abut how exhausted he is while simultaneously wanting everyone to appreciate how much he is sacrificing by not eating more than them but not wanting people to see it, as it is his game plan. He went down to shore to help the tribe fish while Drea told him to help more, leading to them both fighting due to their hanger. While he tried to explain himself to Lindsay and Omar, Lindsay took that back to Drea, Romeo and Maryanne, telling them that she is ready to take him out given he is quite bossy. And to us, shared that his bossiness is becoming dangerously close to ruining her game.
Right on cue, the tribe caught up with Probst for the immunity challenge, once again featuring the Do or Die twist. After explaining how it worked, only Lindsay and Jonathan opted to compete in the challenge where they would stand on a beam and balance as they hold onto handles behind their heads. Last person standing winning immunity, the other facing off with the game of chance. And while Joanthan spent most of the challenge shaking uncontrollably, Lindsay dropped out of nowhere after 12 minutes, handing Jonathan immunity and leaving her place in the game up to fate.
Back at camp Lindsay was regretting her choice to compete in the challenge, with her opening up about her fighting, athletic spirit from childhood. Omar and Maryanne were feeling just as emotional about potentially losing Lindsay too soon, and as such, tried to perk her back up. Drea and Jonathan meanwhile were not bothered about Lindsay potentially going home, partiularly the former who was excited by the prospect of her amulet becoming an idol. To go with her knowledge is power advantage AND extra vote.
Mike meanwhile was the only one focused on the possibility of Lindsay surviving, as such telling Drea that they will just vote out Romeo while rallying everyone else to blindside Drea as their biggest threat. As he caught up with Jonathan and Omar, the latter became keen to vote out Mike instead, though admitted that Drea is just as much of a threat. As he caught up with Drea to float the idea, Drea assured him that Mike’s idol would not be an issue for them, given she has the power to steal it and while they were both giddy about the plan, I’m still worried things will fall apart. Sadly for her, Omar shared everything with Lindsay and the duo realised they could protect Mike by hanging onto the idol for him, neutering both of their advantages and getting rid of either person.
At tribal council Jonathan shared that he competed for immunity because he knows he will now always be a target, while Lindsay admitted that she was blinded by her competitiveness. Mike spoke about how much he admires both of them, while Maryanne reminded her to always keep that competitive edge. Omar meanwhile was happy he sat out, while Maryanne opened up about the varied ways that people communicate while scrambling. Drea meanwhile spoke about her passion for observing literally everyone and everything around camp. Talk turned to the many ways you can miscommunicate around camp with Omar pointing out that there is a time when people need to stop talking, lest they shoot themselves in the foot.
With that, Probst set up the Do or Die boxes and called Lindsay over to the table where she confidently selected the middle box. Probst opened one of the other boxes, revealling a skull before Probst offered her one final chance to swap. With her thankfully sticking to her guns and earning herself immunity. As she returned to her seat, she opened up about how excited she was to evade death and just as Probst was about to send them off to vote, Drea stopped proceedings and asked Mike for his idol with her Knowledge is Power advantage. Sadly for her however, Mike had passed off his idol to Omar before tribal council for safe keeping and as such, Omar successfully neutralised both powers.
With that the tribe finally voted – Drea twice as she used up her extra vote – as the tribe banded together to blindside Drea from the game (well together minus Romeo). Officially turning Lindsay’s amulet into an idol in the process. Drea was delightful and giddy as she exited, praising everyone for being lovely and well, it was so damn wholesome.
She kept that charm up as she entered Ponderosa, pulling me in for a massive hug and sharing how grateful she was that I was on hand to provide her with the culinary comfort I so often provide. And by so often, every week. In return, I praised her for being such a dominant force throughout the season and racking up advantages like it was nothing. As is oft the case, being a dominant force tragically ended up being her downfall however. Meaning I could only toast that success with a big bowl of Madreas Wheeler Curry.
Maybe it is the fact it has been cold and rainy the last few weeks, but there is nothing more smoothing than a rich and earthy madras curry. Packed full of spices, with a light, lingering heat, this is the perfect way to eat your feels.
Method Start by grinding the coriander, fenugreek, mustard seeds, cumin, fennel and pepper in a spice grinder or mortar and pestle. Transfer to food processor or blender, and mix with the cinnamon, clove, chilli, garlic, ginger and 1 tablespoon of the olive oil until it forms a paste. Transfer to a bowl and stir through the turmeric, because it will stain.
Heat the remaining olive oil in a large dutch oven over medium heat and cook the onion for five minutes or until soft and sweet. Add the curry paste, along with the curry leaves, cardamom and bay leaves, and cook for a couple of minutes, or until fragrant. Stir through the lamb and cook for another couple of minutes to coat.
Stir in the tomatoes, stock and taramrind paste, season and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook, stirring infrequently for about an hour, or until the lamb is cooked through.
Previously on Australian Survivor, 24 new castaways were dropped into the middle of the lush, Australian bushland. While they entered the game as 12 pairs, Jonathan quickly split them up to form two tribes of individuals. Each had to face off in the first reward challenge where Nina beat her mother – Queen Sandra – to secure reward for her tribe. The Water tribe however bombed the following immunity challenge, while a poor, injured Alex looked on from the sidelines. Back at camp, Andy quickly suggested everyone should band together to get rid of him, however Nina had other ideas as she effortlessly rallied the tribe against Andy. At tribal, Shayelle and Briana were beaten to the idol by Chrissy which was ultimately pointless given Andy was booted anyway.
The next day Shayelle was worried about how her partner Ben was faring over on the other tribe, so focused her energy on leading the tribe in some yoga as a distraction. Because she is an actual yogi, rather than a Henry yogi. While everyone was living for her calming energy, Chrissy was more focused on the fact she was a goddess and instead decided she would try and beef her up in the jungle.
Meanwhile over at the Blood tribe, Sophie was struggling with the heat and completely shocked by life in the jungle. We then learnt that the tribe had still not gotten fire which is quite a concern on Day 3. Thankfully, Briana’s dad Dave finally got a flame as everyone gathered around to block the wind, which instantly changed everyone’s mood as they sat down to a pot of rice. Sophie caught up with Sandra, sharing that a bunch of people would love to learn from her while they are here which made Sandra feel mildly more relaxed about her standing. Though Sophie knew that as great as having Sandra is, she is always a threat. Which should in turn make her nervous. The tribe ventured to the well, worried about who had been voted out at the last tribal council with Kate already having a bad feeling it was Andy. While Sandra warned us that should Nina be voted out, she will be coming for anyone and everyone like the Hulk.
Speaking of Nina she was busy knocking up a washing line on the Water Tribe before they all lazed under the shelter to enjoy some shade. That is, until some of the logs started to snap and they had to rebuild the entire structure. Nina shared that while her mum prepared her for life in the game, she is wanting to play her own game and opened up to her allies that Andy being so keen to be in the presence of her mum is part of what made her nervous about him. Tragically though, while she was vibing on Mark, Alex and Jordie, she was unsure how to feel about Khanh, which is essentially my dream alliance. Particularly as Briana got in her ear talking about how threatening he is.
While that makes me nervous, given the fact that Chrissy is out for Briana’s blood after the way she treated her at the last tribal council, I am hopeful Chrissy will get her revenge before I lose my love Khanh.
Briana meanwhile was living her best life, loving her in-game bestie Shayelle and thinking she is a boss. We learnt a bit more about her, which essentially was that she rollerskates, wears rainbow stripes and is fun. Which is all you need to know – I mean, after the last two years, I’ll take an eternal optimist to bring up my mood! Thankfully, she is self-aware to know her performance at tribal council could be a problem for her game so approached Chrissy in the water to apologise to her and clear the air. And while I thought it was going to be a good thing, her apology was essentially, the game has started and as such, Chrissy was even more annoyed by how intense she is.
The tribes joined Jonathan by a river where poor Kate was heartbroken to see her big brother Andy had indeed been voted out and ugh, watching her hold back tears was heartbreaking. Until she shaded the Water tribe, pointing out he is weirdly good at both puzzles and throwing things and as such, they just made it easier for her tribe to win challenges. Speaking of which, today’s would see people from each tribe racing to climb out of a large, net cube before jumping off and grabbing a flag to secure a point. First to four winning fishing gear and comfort items.
Once again, Sandra refused to sit out of the challenge with Sam taking her place on the sit out bench as Croc and Jesse faced off against her husband Mark and Khanh. And damn, Khanh was a beast as he battled Jesse, climbed out and scored the first point for Water. Kate and Sophie then fought off Nina and Briana and damn, was it a fight as they all scraped and yanked at each other before Nina broke free and snatched another point for the Water tribe. Leading to Sandra apologising to Kate for her daughter’s behaviour.
We then had Mark introduce Khanh to Sam as his boyfriend and just like that, my basement is flooded. I mean, Mark and Sam are so relaxed and fun this year, and I’m living for it!
Up next were Shay and Chrissy fighting Sandra and Amy, with Shay single handedly fighting everyone off and taking out another point for Water. That meant KJ and Khanh faced off against David and Michelle for victory, where David literally tried to rip off Khanh’s shorts who nearly gave full Sugar, before pulling up his pants and securing the win for his tribe. Given this is Blood V Water, Jonathan gave them the opportunity to share their spoils with the other tribe with Water quickly opting to give their loved ones some comfort items while they hung on to the fishing gear.
Back at camp the Water tribe were thrilled by how well they performed in the reward challenge. Well, for a split second before Briana held on to the tackle box with a vice grip to hunt for an idol clue in front of all of the tribe. While she thought she was super smooth and bubbly about it, she was well and truly putting everyone off side as Khanh complained about her intensity. And vowed to keep how at risk she is from her so she continues to annoy the tribe until they boot her from the game.
Meanwhile the Blood tribe were grateful to have been given their comfort items, none more so than Kate who was still heartbroken to have lost Andy. As she walked off to clear her mind, Michelle joined her to make sure she was ok. As they wandered chatting and looking for firewood, Kate spotted Ben, Sophie, Amy, Jordan and Sam plotting by the well, suggesting that if Andy is cutthroat, it is likely Kate is too and as such, they need to keep an eye on her. We then learnt more about Sam who promised us that she has learnt from the mistakes from her first game, vowing to be less anxious and more observant. Oh and she and Mark just want to get to the merge so they can reunite and run the game to the end like Rob and Amber before them.
Back with the rest of the tribe, Croc was asking Sandra about whether there is a point in the game where everyone just loses their mind, with her wisely explaining how everyone gets paranoid at different times and you just need to be agile. Sadly for Croc though, while he was learning from the great, Sam and Sophie are already suggesting he can’t get to the merge and as such, he won’t last long enough to find out more.
The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would have to drag three barrels over hurdles before grabbing three more barrels, which they thenhad to navigate through a path and up to the top of a platform before rolling them down to knock vases off a series of poles. After Sophie took her place on the bench – Sandra wisely choosing to keep performing in the challenges – both tribes made their way to the second trio of barrels neck and neck. While Water had the slightest of leads, Croc’s leadership, and honestly brute strength, was enough to see them close the gap. Wait, no, Water pulled away again and then knocked over their first vase before Blood even joined the fray. Eventually Blood started rolling too, quickly tying things up as both tribes knocked off their second vases in quick succession. Before Jesse calmly knocked off Blood’s third and secured immunity for the tribe.
Back at camp Briana was ready to cause a little bit of chaos in the hope of saving her game, while Chrissy shared that she is feeling like a hot mess. She admitted to KJ and Mark that she is feeling very nervous, with Mark emphatically telling her not to worry. Chrissy then caught up with Mel, Jordie and Josh to lock in the vote for Briana, knowing that she has been playing too hard too fast and as such they need to take her out. Chrissy assured them that she watched Briana like a hawk yesterday but reminded them that somebody needs to watch her today to make sure she doesn’t find an idol and ruin any plans.
Oh and Chrissy shared she is aligned with KJ, Mark, Mel, Jordie, Josh and Khanh and ugh, why is Nina not included in this majority?!
Speaking of Nina, Briana pulled her and Alex aside to float going after Chrissy which they obviously agreed to. As Briana went person to person to woo them to her side, she got absolutely nothing and as such, grew more and more paranoid. She and Shayelle then went hunting for the idol, leading to the rest of the tribe sending out a search party, arriving just in time to see Shay unhook a hidden immunity idol from the top of a tree. As Briana ran to her to celebrate the moment and I assume, her safety.
While King Khanh threatened to steal it before making the real boss move of picking it up from the ground and handing it to Shay, reminding her it is hers and hers only. In front of everyone. After Briana went back to camp, Khanh and Nina got into Shayelle’s ear and told her that Briana was totally planning to steal the idol from her which is why he jumped in to give it to her. Sadly, the drama only made Shayelle more confused about tribal council given she will clearly either be sending her ally Briana home or instead Chrissy, who brings good vibes to the tribe.
At tribal council Alex opened up about how shocked he was to survive his first tribal council, though he shared how grateful he was, given he feels much better. Josh spoke about how that speaks to their desire for a cohesive tribe rather than tossing him aside at the first sign of injury, which immediately made Briana talk about how much she loves everyone. Though she did admit that she is closest to Shay. As Briana spoke about hoping the tribe valued her, Chrissy said that everyone should be expecting their name to come up and as such, she is nervous. Jordie said that everyone is performing in challenges, so like Josh, his vote would be based on keeping the tribe harmonious.
Chrissy suggested she would have received more votes at the last tribal council if she didn’t find the idol. Mark suggested that this tribal council would be pretty logical and not problematic while Briana assured her allies that she trusts everyone she spoke with (like Andy last tribal, uh oh). Chrissy agreed she could trust her people though wasn’t exactly sure she trusts the plan. Briana then started whispering to Shay to vote for Chrissy before Khanh spoke about being close to a few people, which made Briana more and more nervous. Despite being confident earlier, Briana started to spiral before trying to pull it together. And then immediately threatened the tribe that she was ready to do something crazy.
With that, the tribe voted and nothing crazy happened as the tribe banded together to boot Briana from the game. Well except for Mark who threw a vote on Chrissy, ideally to paint a target on Shay though I feel he is way too nice and was just covering bases in case an idol was played.
But I’ve digressed. Like Andy yesterday, seeing Briana arrive in Loser Lodge was quite triggering because I see a lot of myself in her. I’m a little bit too much and when backed into a corner, try too hard to win people back despite it being the last thing people want. While Bri was disappointed to be out of the game, she was already hopeful to come back, learn from her mistakes and take out the win – which honestly, is the kind of energy the world needs right now. As such, I served up a big bowl of Birriana Goodchild and vowed to send all the good vibes for her second go.
Don’t let the looks fool you! While birria may appear to be a boring old stew, it is actually a feisty bowl of flavour and goodness. Which like Bri, is just what the world needs more off.
Enjoy!
Birriana Goodchild Serves: 6.
Ingredients 5 dried guajillo chillies 4 dried ancho chillies 4 dried chiles de arbol ¼ cup apple cider vinegar 400g tinned crushed tomatoes 10 garlic cloves, minced 1 tsp dried Mexican oregano 1 tsp paprika 1 tsp cumin 2 tbsp olive oil 1.2kg beef chuck, cut into a large dice salt and pepper, to taste 1 onion, diced 1L beef stock 2 sprigs thyme leaves 2 bay leaves 1 cinnamon stick ½ teaspoon cloves
Method Place the chillies in a bowl and top with freshly boiled water. Leave to soak for 10 minutes before removing the stems and seeds. Combine the soft chillies with the apple cider vinegar, tomatoes, garlic, oregano, paprika, cumin and 3 cups of the chilli water in a blender and blitz until smooth. Leave aside.
Preheat the oven to 150ºC.
Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat, season the chunks of beef and sear a few pieces at a time, until browned and caramelised on the outside. Remove to rest on a plate and repeat the process until done.
Return the beef back to the pot and top with the chilli mixture, onion, stock, bay leaves, thyme, cinnamon and cloves. Stir and bring to the boil before covering and popping in the oven to cook for about 3 hours, or until juicy and tender.
Remove from the oven and remove the visible bay leaves, cinnamon and cloves – or play it fast and loose like me and eat around the cloves. Serve immediately and devour, glad to have played the game.
Previously on Survivor twenty iconic winners were marooned on a sandbank in Fiji, ready for the ultimate battle royale. Well, after Adam fanned out and they toasted the season ahead with some champagne. They returned to camp where they learnt all about the new currency, Fire Tokens, which they could earn throughout the season to buy advantages or luxury items. The catch being, once they were voted out, they had to bequeath them to someone else.
Early in the game, those with obvious connections became targets with Natalie following in Nadiya’s footsteps and being voted out first due to being on a tribe with Jeremy. Amber soon followed as the only Blood vs Water couple, before we tragically went on a run of losing the old schoolers starting with Danni, followed by zaddy Ethan, Tyson and Rob. The latter, for trying to implement the Buddy System with competent players.
We then experienced a tragic double tribal council where Parvati and Sandra exited back-to-back. Coincidentally, the pandemic began the very same day. After arriving at the Edge of Extinction, Sandra knew she had no chance of winning her way back into the game, so opted out of suffering just for a stint on the jury. The darkest timeline then continued with Yul joining his fellow old schoolers on the Edge of Extinction. Despite – or because of – being the first boot, Natalie had accumulated quite the fortune on the Edge, so was able to spend up on an advantage and an idol in the returning challenge. Sadly for her, it didn’t pay off as Tyson won his way back into the merge.
Michele finally got revenge on her ex, Wendell, as the tribe banded together to send him out of the game. After trying to play Probst’s tribal council podium as an idol, Adam was shown the door before everyone was thanked for their service to the franchise with an epic full-family reward. And ugh, it was beautiful. Sadly, the game continued, as Tyson, Sophie and Kim were all tragically felled. Things became a little predictable after that, as Jeremy and Nick went out, as Tony and Sarah solidified their control.
Natalie went on another spending spree ahead of the final return challenge, with it paying off this time and her joining the new final six. After a near Advantageddon 2.0, Denise was sent to the jury as only she and Sarah were eligible to be booted. Ben then kinda quit/gave Sarah permission to boot him for her resume. After Natalie won the final immunity challenge and took Michele with her to the final tribal council, that sacrifice proved pointless as Tony won his way to the end and Sarah became the final juror.
Despite it being an extremely strong final three, it was clear the jury bonded with Natalie on the Edge and loved Tony’s flashy game, so poor Michele was shut out of the vote. While Natalie’s bonds earned her some votes, it wasn’t enough to follow in Chris’ footsteps as the jury crowned Tony the runaway victory. Making him, officially, the King to Sandra’s Queen. And long may they reign. After receiving him 2 million dollars, I thanked him for learning from his Game Changers and coming out to the island and putting on what was arguably a masterclass. He made moves, he was funny and most importantly, he managed to avoid being voted out despite being the only major target left after the merge. And that alone is worth celebrating with a bowl of Minestony Vlachos.
I know minestrone doesn’t exactly feel like a victory meal, but TBH, I thought the target on Tony’s back would be too big for us to have such an iconic victor, so we just have to accept it. Okay? Plus, this is still delicious, which is always a win, right?
Enjoy!
Minestony Vlachos Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 6 rashers streaky bacon, diced 2 carrots, peeled and diced 2 celery sticks, sliced 1 potato, diced 4 garlic cloves, minced 1L beef stock 400g crushed tomatoes 400g red kidney beans, rinsed and drained 1 cup small pasta like shells or macaroni ⅓ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped salt and pepper, to taste
Method Pop the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and cook the bacon, carrot, celery and potato, stirring frequently, for 10 minutes, or until starting to caramelise. Add the garlic and cook off for a minute before stirring through the stock, tomatoes and kidney beans. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for half an hour.
Once the veggies are tender, bring the heat back to medium and stir in the pasta and cook until al dente. Stir through the parsley and season to taste, before serving piping hot and devouring. Like the King.
Previously on Australian Survivor the Final Three arrived at the final immunity challenge, ready to face a no doubt brutal and traumatic bout of endurance to win their way to the final tribal council. Though not before their loved ones were wheeled out to make us all cry. While it was sweet to see everyone soften at the sight of their families, reminded of what they are playing for, Moana wins best family thanks to the iconic one-two punch of Queen Vinnie who is pure joy and love personified and her sweet wife Isabella. Tragically though, Moana was the first to fall out of the challenge and after David eventually took out the final victory, she was sent to become the final juror of the season.
The final two awoke on Day 50, shocked to have made it all the way to the end while Dave was still feeling guilty about having to blindside his friend Mo. Despite it not really being a blindside since she was one of two options. In any event, David reiterated how much he wants to win before listing his entire resume and hot damn, this is going to be a complete and utter blow-out, isn’t it? I mean, I forgot about the fire from scratch thing it was that long ago.
As they settled in for their final breakfast and mimosas – treat yo’ ‘self – by the shore, Sharn told us how big of a mistake Dave made by taking her to the end, given she is the first and only player in Australian Survivor to make it to 100 days in the game. Which yeah, it is super impressive. She spoke about how hard the first loss was on her and she assured us that she had a fire in her belly and was not going to lose again. And oh Sharn, I am starting to feel bad about you losing again.
At tribal council Sharn kicked things off with her opening statement, reminding them that she is the only person to have played 100 days in the game and the only one in their season that has never had their torch snuffed. She said that after the winners were booted first, she knew that runner-ups would be targeted soon after and as such, she kept things quiet. She highlighted that she played both sides all season, told them that not going to rocks was a huge move and her plan as the puppet-master was to ride the Golden God before turning him into her golden ticket. And well, it all just felt a little bit too staged no?
David followed that up with a super sweet, relatable speech, fanning over the jury and charming the shit out of everyone. He admitted to being the mole, he told them how he found his idols – playing Phoebe in the process – blindsided Locky out of a necessity, voted Harry out because he wanted more days played than him before switching tacts and apologising for voting out Tarzan because he loves him, but loves his family more. Oh and then he welled up talking about how much of a beast Brooke was and how much he loved Mo. Hell, is Sharn going to vote for him too?
Things turned over to the jury, with Locky asking Dave why his desire for a big game disappeared at the merge and he started to hide in a big alliance. Dave explained that being the Golden God got him to tenth last time, and as such he had to pull his head in if he wanted to make it to the end. Shonee then savaged Sharn by asking why she would bother voting for Sharn this time, when she didn’t the last time she was in this situation. Sharn spoke about how well she played this time and built up the alliance that dominated the merge, but didn’t really add anything else. A.K. spoke about the fact Sharn talked him out of going to rocks, and suggested that she can pick rocks for a chance to win his vote. Or leave it up to her game alone and damn, Sharn, the fact Zach laughed should tell you everything about the lack of votes coming your way.
After what felt like an eternity, Sharn opted to back herself and her game and as such, lost another vote.
Brooke decided to add some messiness to the proceedings, asking Dave why Sharn doesn’t deserve to win. Ignoring the question, he spoke about how he was the idol whisperer of the season before circling to the point, I think, by saying his relationships are what brought him to the end. Harry dragged Sharn for constantly pretending to be in alliances with people and pretending she was going to flip and while she tried to highlight it as good gameplay, Brooke reminded her that she burnt a lot of people in the process and as such, she was too focused on going to the end, rather than winning.
Oh and then Tarzan reminded Sharn that she told him to vote Mo in the near-rock tribal and while she tried to pretend that she was testing Tarzan’s loyalty, he thankfully pushed and said it wasn’t a test because if he did, Moana would have gone. This pissed off Moana who joined Tarzan in dragging her and while Sharn tried to dance around it and said it turned out to be her biggest move, Mo pointed out it was actually just her doing nothing. Harry then told her to keep telling herself that – slay – before Moana pointed out that Dave voting her out proved him to be weak, given he preached non-stop of competing against the best. She then asked the boldest question, asking whether he felt she played the bigger game. David expertly praised her and her game, apologising for ruining her dreams, reminding her that taking her to the end weakened his chances and ultimately they are playing for the title of SOLE survivor.
Dave then listed why everyone played killer games, praising them for their moves which is the exact reason why he made sure they all ended up on the jury. I mean, hot damn – that is a Todd Herzog level tribal council performance!
With that speech sealing the deal, the jury voted and then because of COVID-19, we awkwardly got to experience the single weirdest winner reveal of all time – potentially until Winners at War, I guess – as Andrew G was wheeled out to talk to Jonathan who was trapped in the US because of travel restrictions, before he tallied re-written votes in the US … which ultimately crowned David the winner of the game. Much to poor Sharn and her family’s bitter disappointment via satellite from their lounge room.
Tragically poor Sharn’s biggest fears came to a reality and while once again she came second, she does hold a tonne of records which prove her to be one of our best players. Despite how messy her second game may have been as her fears started to play on her mind. As such, I am so glad I was able to be on hand to once again provide her culinary comfort with a hearty batch of Lamb Sharnk Coombes Pies!
Now lamb shanks and I have a complicated past. I mean, despite what you may think, I’m not a fan of sucking meat off a bone (well, in the kitchen). But in pie form? Sign me up! Earthy, rich and encased in a gorgeously buttery pastry, there is no better may to eat your feelings.
Enjoy!
Lamb Sharnk Coombes Pies Serves: 4-8.
Ingredients ½ cup flour 1 tsp salt 1 tsp pepper 4 lamb shanks 2 tbsp olive oil 2 carrots, finely sliced 4 celery stalks, finely sliced 2 onions, diced 8 garlic cloves, minced ¼ cup tomato paste 1 ½ cup red wine 1 ½ cup beef stock 6 sprigs thyme, leaves removed 2 bay leaves 2-4 sheets shortcrust pastry 1 egg, beaten lightly 2 sheets butter puff pastry
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Combine the flour, salt and pepper in a large bowl and toss through the shanks to coat. Heat a good lug of the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and add the shanks, cooking for five minutes or until nice and caramelised on the outside. Transfer to a plate to rest.
Add the remaining oil to the dutch onion and saute the carrot, celery, onion and garlic for five minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the tomato paste and cook for a further minute. Repeat the process with the wine, followed by the stock before adding the thyme, bay leaves and shanks to the pan, covering and popping in the oven to cook for 2 ½-3 hours, or until the meat is falling off the bone.
Once cooked, remove from the oven – leaving it on – and carefully remove the meat from the bone and roughly chop into largish chunks. Return the meat to the pan, remove the bay leaves and cook over medium heat until the sauce has reduced.
To assemble, line 8 individual pie dishes with a square of shortcrust pastry to fit the mould. Line each and fill with some baking weights. Pop them on a baking sheet and transfer to the oven to cook for ten minutes, or until the pastry is starting to cook. Remove from the oven and remove the baking paper and weight combo.
Fill each dish with some of the shank mixture and brush around the rim of each dish with some egg, followed by closing with the puff pastry and cutting a little slit into the top. Brush the pie tops with more egg and transfer to the oven to bake for about half an hour, or until golden and puffed.
Fame Hungry 