Previously on Global All Stars twelve queens, each from a different country, were brought together to find out which drag race franchise would reign supreme. Though, given it was judged by Ru and Michelle, the Ru girls were always going to have the upper hand, no? Thankfully the first two weeks were non-eliminations, allowing all the girls to shine and help us fall in love. Though it also made it harder to see them fall week after week.
From week one, it was Alyssa’s crown to lose, coming in with the energy of a winner and having Ru in tears of pride as she took out victory in the first challenge. She was kind and congenial, raising up her sisters and acting like the grand dame that she is.
Oh shit, I forgot to write a clunky sentence to link off to all the previous recipes! Sooo, after the back-to-back talent shows, the competition got real with Athena Likis becoming the Porkchop of the spin-off. She was soon followed by Miranda, Eva, Soa, Gala and Pythia. They then all returned for the makeover, which cost Vanity her place in the competition before Alyssa’s wannabe daughter Tessa was finally felled.
There, that’s better.
That left the final four of the threeRu girls, alongside sweet Nehellenia from Italia. And while the fact the Ru girls dominated could be called into question, the one thing that makes sense is a crown sitting on Alyssa Edwards’ head. And she served silliness, glamour and drama week after week and that is something I will always be grateful for. After finally claiming her crown, I ran into Alyssa’s arms and congratulated her on getting her flowers. She is such an iconic queen and as such, deserved something equally iconic to celebrate her win. Sadly we already did (back) sausage rolls, so she had to settle for a fiery Chorissa and Redwards Pesto Orzo instead.
I found this recipe on IG and instantly fell in love! Spicy, sweet and rich, it is the ultimate comfort food. The smokiness of the chorizo works perfectly with the creamy sauce, giving you that winning feeling, even if you don’t have a crown.
Enjoy!
Chorissa and Redwards Pesto Orzo Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 chorizoes, diced 1 onion, diced 6 garlic cloves, minced 1 tbsp tomato paste 300g orzo 1L chicken stock 1 tsp dried oregano 1 tsp dried thyme 1 tsp dried basil 1 tsp chilli flakes ½ tsp dried parsley ¼ cup red pepper pesto ½ cup cream ¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated salt and pepper, to taste
Method Pop the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and cook the chorizo for a few minutes, or until it starts to crisp and the oils start to come out. Transfer it to a bowl.
Add the onion to the oily pan and cook, stirring, for a few minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and tomato paste, and cook out the flavours for a further minute. Add in the orzo and stir to coat before stirring through the stock. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer until the orzo is plump and the sauce thickened.
Remove from the heat and stir through the herbs, pesto, cream and cheese, and return to the heat for a couple of minutes. Finally, stir through the chorizo – leaving no oil behind in the bowl – season to taste and devour. Like the Queen of the World.
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Previously on Global All Stars the top four took a back seat as the eliminated queens returned for the chance to be crowned the global lip sync assassin. Tragically, to only RuPaul songs. Two by two they battled off until only Soa and Gala remained. And while Gala continued to serve sex all over the stage – flooding all of the basements in the process – it was the iconic Soa who dominated, taking out the title. And most importantly, the $50k she so rightly deserved.
The next day the top four were primed and ready to compete for the crown, with Kween overwhelmed, hungry, horny and ready for the crown. No doubt because of Gala’s lip sync. Kitty was focused on the cash, ready to buy some wigs and go on holiday, while Nelly would like to help her family and make a difference. While Alyssa just mentioned she has been doing it for 23 years, which reminded Nelly that she is very old. Ru then dropped by to announce that for the final challenge of the season, the finalists would star in the music video for new drag anthem, Dance Like The World Is Watching. After writing and recording verses, and catching up over a tic tac lunch.
After Ru disappeared, the dolls split up to work through their lyrics with Kitty charmed by her own, Kween Kong was feeling like she was finally in her lane while Nelly was just bricking it about singing in English. Talk turned to the video clip with Alyssa opening up about loving performing with her kids at Beyond Belief and how she wants the choreo to be something they could do. She and Nelly spoke about how much they were looking forward to making their debut while Kween was just grateful to finally believe she deserves to be a finalist. Nelly started to break down, overwhelmed to be the last international queen standing and proud about how hard she has worked.
We pivoted to the tic tac lunches where Kitty opened up about feeling like she deserves to be here because she has had to fight hard to make it through every challenge. And that she is now ready for whatever is next in her career. She spoke about how much lip syncing lit a fire under her, never believing it whenever she heard that from other contestants. Nelly on the other hand was a ball of sweetness, hoping to be an inspiration for kids in Italy and proud to push through her nerves and self-doubt to make it to the end. Kween was so excited to have had a second chance at the competition, given she felt like the first season is what shaped her into the queen she is now. Before straight up bribing the judges with hand-made jewellery from her mum and aunties. Rounding out the chats was the one and only Alyssa Edwards and honestly, it felt like a victory lap. She admitted that she was worried that she would be competing against the judges expectations of what 23 years of experience should look like. Ru then started to break down calling her a star and yep, condragulations Alyssa, condragulations.
We pivoted to filming the TikTok numbers where Alyssa gave an OG Haus of Edwards dance, Kitty was keeping it simple, Nelly was hoping to challenge the children before Jamal helped remind Kween that she is a dancer, though the people at home are not, so she should keep it simple.
Coronation Day arrived with the top four splitting up to beat their mugs for the final time, with Alyssa giddy to have finally made it. Kween spoke about how shocked she is to be competing with Alyssa, while Kitty shared she would be happy with any of them winning. But happier for her, obvi. The eliminated queens then dropped by one final time, with Kween opening up to her sisters about how emotional she is given how far she has come since her first season. Nelly admitted that while she is an underdog for the crown, she is not going down without a fight before it all just became a love fest TBH.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the iconic Ariadna Gutiérrez-Arévaloas the eliminated queens opened the Best Drag On Earth runway. Athena was absolutely stunning in a couture white gown and yeah, she ate as the sexiest jellyfish. Miranda was stunning in a vibrant blue feathered gown, Eva was a golden goddess phoenix, Soa was a gorgeous musketeer, Gala was a beautiful volcanic mess, Pythia was a glamorous three-headed dog, Vanity was a stunning, studded icon and Tessa looked like a pretty version of the ugly step-sisters. The top four then arrived to devour, with Alyssa giving a glamorous purple ruffled gown, giving all the leg. Kitty wore an ill-fitting pink vinyl gown inspired by Barbie, Kween gave Polynesian Princess and looked glorious, before Nelly closed the show in a sweet, puffy, lavender gown.
In the film clip, the inclusion of the Pit Crew made me super distracted but as usual, it was kinda cringe. Though they all did a solid job of the dancing, except for Kitty.
The judges heaped Alyssa with all of the praise, reminding her that she set the bar back in week one and has met it every one since. And she did the best at creating a dance that people would be able to mimic at home. Kitty was praised for how much she has grown and elevated since her first season, and for having fun in the video. Kween was praised for giving all the swag on the video, and for being so open and vulnerable throughout the entire season. And for doing her family proud with her kindness and the way she wants to help the next generation. Nelly meanwhile was encouraged to always believe in herself because she proved, week after week, that she is a star.
Ru then challenged the girls to answer why the world needs drag more than ever. Alyssa spoke about how she wanted to inspire queer small town kids to believe. Kitty spoke about the freedom that comes from self-expression and how it opened up her world and filled it with so much joy. Kween spoke about the fact it builds a safe world for people like us, while Nehellenia spoke about the power it has.
Backstage the dolls were shocked to have done all that they could to make it to the final lip sync, with Alyssa toasting them for being such incredible competition and being on the journey with her. Though admitted this was her time. The eliminated queens joined them, with Kween talking about being in tears all day, given how kind the judges have been. Nelly was thrilled to be strong enough to make it to the end, while Kitty spoke about how hard it is to hear all the compliments.
Before we got to the final lip sync, we learnt that the eliminated dolls had one final crown to win – Miss Congeniality. Now known as Miss Global Peacemaker, which once again went to Soa De Muse, earning her another $10k. And honestly, it is what she deserves. After pushing the eliminated quens off stage, Ru announced that everyone in the top four would be lip syncing for the crown, solo, and damn were Alyssa and Kween fired up for that crown. As soon as my girl Gaga’sBad Romance kicked off, they were spitting fire and hitting every line. While Kitty gave comedy and Nelly was busy stripping, it was clear the choreographers were desperate to win the crown. And win a crown one of them did, as the one and only, always and forever Alyssa Edwards was crowned. Leaving Down Under’s own Kween Kong to settle for being a double runner-up like her sister Hannah.
As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her for making Australia and New Zealand proud. While she didn’t snatch the crown, she truly did dominate the season week after week – which is not something all of the finalist’s can say, despite placing in the top all season. She didn’t love me trash talking her sisters, but gave me her signature chuckle and thanked me for once again supporting her. I told her how great it was to see her so relaxed this season, and how it made her perform so much better. And more than earn a big, fat Kweensland Do(n)g.
While the name makes it sound super smutty, this is simply a hot dog. Which I guess is kinda smutty, but once again, I digress. The sticky, sweet chilli pineapple works perfectly with the smooth cream cheese and rich pork, warming your soul in the process.
Enjoy!
Kweensland Do(n)g Serves: 2-4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 400g can sliced pineapple slices, juices drained and reserved ½ cup muscovado sugar 2 red chillis, trimmed and sliced 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar salt and pepper, to taste 4 hot dog rolls 4 thick pork sausages ½ cup cream cheese 2 shallots, sliced
Method Pop the oil in frying pan over medium heat and cook the pineapple for a few minutes each side, until nice and charred and caramel. Remove from the heat and roughly chop.
In the same pan, add the sugar and pineapple juice, and stir until the sugar dissolves. Increase heat, bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes, or until it thickens and is a rich caramel. Add the chilli and stir for a minute, before adding the pineapple and vinegar. Remove from the heat, season and set aside.
While the pineapple rests, cook the sausages a few minutes each side over medium heat or until cooked through.
To assemble, split the buns, smear with some cream cheese, top with the sausages and a good sprinkle of the chilli and the shallots. Then wrap your lips around it and go to town. Also known as devouring.
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Previously on Global All Stars the top five were tasked with filming tourism ads for each of their mother countries. And given how this went on Down Under 2, this could go one of many ways. Given how close she came to beating Jinkx in the branding challenge on their OG season, Alyssa was a neurotic mess, yet iconic. And despite Kitty being far more entertaining, took out a bookend win. At the other end of the pack, Tessa was one note and Kween focused on her Down Under sisters, which was all it took to land them in the bottom. Where Kween kept the Ru girls together by mopping the floor with the iconic Tessa and sending her home. Tragically.
Backstage the top four were thrilled to have made it all the way to the end, with Kitty, Kween and Nelly all thrilled to join the two-time finalist club. Alyssa toasted Tessa and her madness, considering adopting her into the Haus of Edwards officially. Should she not annoy her on tour and embarrass the name. Alyssa started to break down, overwhelmed to finally make it to the finals after all these years. Nelly admitted that she had actually thought she was going to be the Porkchop of the season, so to make it to the end, she feels like she was finally able to prove that she is talented. After they all had a cry, Kween led them in a hearty fuck yeah and as such, all was ok.
And just like that, I’m back on the Kween train.
The next day the finalists were no less excited, with Alyssa thrilled to make it to the end without landing in the bottom and hoping that would help her get the crown. Nelly reiterated that she was never less than safe too, and as such, consistency could see her crowned. As much as she’d like to show off her lip syncing skillz at some point, TBH. A siren rang out before the dolls were cast to the side as the eliminated queens made their triumphant return. Again. This time to take the spotlight as they battle it out to be crowned the Global Lip Sync Assassin. And a cash prize of $50K.
Everyone split up to start beating their mugs as Tessa congratulated the finalists on making it to the end. Talk turned to who is primed to win today’s little title, with everyone agreeing Gala, Vanity and Soa would have to be the frontrunners. While Pythia joked she thinks she and Eva are the front runners to her. Talk turned to how they would spend their money, with Miranda spending it on her family, Tessa and Athena would move out – and the latter would pay for her brother’s transition too, so we’re rooting for her even more – while Vanity wanted to spend it on a wedding. And invite some of her new sisters. Emphasis on some.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal took their places on the panel before wheeling out the dolls in their Global Lip Sync Eleganza Extravaganza and explaining that two by two they will face off, with the winners progressing until only one remains. Manuel from the Pit Crew pulled out his wheel to decide who would go first and ugh, Manuel is so hot, I am now distracted. But he must have spun it, as first up would be Vanity, who in turn got to select her opponent, going with Eva given she has already beaten her before. As the one to be chosen, Eva was able to select their song, going with Just What They Want. Which is what Nelly tipped, given it was clearly the hardest. Which proved smart, given Vanity had no idea what the lyrics were. Despite that, she gave hairography and an epic performance, which sadly wasn’t enough, as Vanity was sent to join the top four backstage as Eva progressed.
Manuel’s wheel came back – swoon – to line up Soa as the next performer. She in turn elected to face off against Tessa, who chose A.S.M.R. Lover for the soundtrack of their battle. Soa was honestly a delight from start to finish, as Tessa gave sexy and stupid before botching a split. Which sadly ended Ms T’s run and sent Soa through to the second round. Manuel then flooded our basement to line up Athena’s performance against Pythia to Jealous Of My Boogie. And from the first line, this was Athena’s redemption round. She was stupid and passionate, hitting every lyric and booked her place in round two. Leaving Gala to demolish poor Miranda in the final lip sync of the round to Cha Cha Bitch. Despite a cute little rainbow glitter rain moment and Gala literally dancing her wig off.
Which annoyed the shit out of Miranda, as she joined her sisters backstage. Which, fair.
Manuel got his wheel out again for round two, allowing Gala to select Eva as her next opponent while Eva selected Call Me Mother as their song. Despite not knowing any of the words, Gala was flipping around the stage and doing anything to distract, while Eva was fire from start to finish, enunciating every lyric, being fierce and sensual in equal measure. Which would have won her the lip sync, if Gala didn’t duck walk, which sent her through to the final round, it seems. As Soa and Athena lined up for U Wear It Well, it was clear both of them were desperate for the money as they turned a damn show. They gave attitude, they stomped the runway in unison and honestly, if they both made it to the final round, I wouldn’t have been mad. Sadly though, Ru only wanted two in the final, eliminating Athena and giving us the Gala/Soa rematch we deserve.
The eliminated queens and the top four were summoned back to the mainstage to watch the top two assassins battle for the win. To The Beginning. And damn, did they turn a show. While Gala was all attitude, Soa was oozing joy and was frankly magnetic, flicking her hair, hitting the lyrics and smiling the entire time. Gala slayed with air violin and handstand baby freezes, but make no mistake, it was Soa’s show. And the emotion rightly won her $50K and the title of Global Lip Sync Assassin. As she deserves.
Cocorico, cocorico, cocorico. Yas yas yas.
While the eliminated queens took their final bows, I quickly snuck up on Nelly and gave her a massive hug. She was super confused, given she hasn’t been eliminated yet, though I explained that given the season hadn’t gone very well for the ESL queens, I wanted to make sure she was well rested and fed heading into the finale. Because if anything can salvage this season, it is a victory for Nehellenia. Which was enough to perk her back up and get her on board with plotting her victory over a glorious Konbinehellenia Egg Sando.
Anyone that has had the deeply profound joy of eating an egg sando from a Japanese konbini knows that they are the only thing you ever need again. Sweet, rich and melt in your mouth, they are the perfect thing to feed your soul and encourage you to save the globe with your victory.
Enjoy!
Konbinehellenia Egg Sando Serves: 2. 1 rightful victor and her bestie.
Ingredients 10 eggs ½ cup Kewpie mayonnaise 1 tsp kosher salt, plus more to taste 1 tsp raw caster sugar ¼ tsp black pepper 4 tsp thickened cream 2 tbsp unsalted butter, softened 4 slices Japanese milk bread, crusts removed
Method Bring a medium saucepan of water to the boil. Once rollicking, carefully lower the eggs into the boiling water and cook for 10 minutes, or until hard boiled. Drain the eggs into a sink and plunge into iced water to cool for 15 minutes before peeling the eggs.
Split the eggs open and separate the yolks and whites into two bowls. Mash all the yolks in a bowl until they are almost a smooth paste. Add the mayonnaise, salt, sugar, and pepper and stir until well combined.
Finely chop the egg whites and add half to the yolk mixture, stir to combine, cover and chill for an hour. Reserve the rest of the whites for another recipe.
Once chilled, stir the cream into the egg mixture, seasoning with additional salt if required. Spread the butter evenly on one side of each bread slice. Top one slice, butter side up, with egg, cover with the remaining slice, butter side down. Slice into triangles and devour, in culinary heaven.
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Previously on Global All Stars with the cast split neatly in two, the eliminated queens returned to join the families of the top six in a little international makeover. Everyone did a fairly good job, though the clear standouts were Nehellenia – for her killer costumes – and Kween – for her makeup. At the other end of the pack, Vanity gave costume stewardess and Kitty served a tired plot of feuding sisters, which was enough to land them in the bottom. In Untucked, Kween Kong was clearly pressed to finally see a fellow Ru girl land in the bottom and took out her rage on Nelly, calling her out for doing a terrible job at beating her and Pythia’s mugs. Kitty joined the fray in tears, making it that little bit sweeter as Nelly took out her first win of the season. Much to the simmering rage of the duo. Sadly though, that fired up Kitty enough to serve in the lip sync and tragically send Vanity home.
Backstage you could still cut the tension with a knife as Alyssa congratulated Kitty on her lip syncing debut, despite being all stuck in her feels. Nelly thankfully was delighted to take out her first win of the season, grateful to Alyssa for giving her her flowers. Kween, to her credit, congratulated her on her win and apologised for being in a mood and making her feel less than. I am paraphrasing here, but it was a decent apology. Decent.
The next day everyone was feeling far more upbeat as Tessa made jokes about nobody expecting her to make it this far. Which, correct. Kitty meanwhile was thrilled to have a single experience in the bottom, as it has fired her up for victory. Kween too was ready for her crown, or at the very least, some KFC. Slowly but surely winning me back after last week. Nelly joked about being a filler queen that is finally going to get the win, which I hope goes direct from her lips to Ru’s ears. Alyssa meanwhile lied and pretended she was happy with her safe stint across, say, the entire season. Ru dropped by as Nelly admitted she was shocked to still be in the competition, announcing that to make it to the end, they would need to film tourism commercials to promote their mother countries. And make a little postcard in Canva to boot.
So condragulations Alyssa, I guess, given she is the queen of branding. Well, after Trixie, of course.
Ru exited as the dolls split up to work on their commercials as Kitty reminded us that this was the challenge in her original season that was so bad nobody won. This time, Kitty was going to lean into how bad English food was, scaring Nelly and Tessa with the way they all sounded like slurs. Nelly was going to lean into Italian stereotypes, while Tessa was going to represent both Switzerland and Germany. Kween was hoping to do better than she did in the branding challenge on her original challenge – oh, fuck yeah, she did bad – while Alyssa was rightly confident, given she almost won this challenge in Season 5. Bested only by Jinkx. Which, duh.
We then got a super cut of the queens working in Canva as the least subtle product placement before they split up to beat their mugs for the shoot. Nehellenia spoke about how proud she is to be representing Italy, while Kitty reminded them all to lean into the stereotypes. As they kikied about where else they would live if they had to move, Nelly spoke about how homophobic Italy can be.
Kitty was first up to film her commercial with Michelle, feeling inspired by Kim when she became a bouncer in Kath & Kim. She was munching on faggots, pissing in a phone booth and was all around delightful. Alyssa meanwhile vomited the U.S. of A all over set and leant into her strength, which is being a damn fool. And ugh, I love her. Despite how nervous she was. Nehellenia meanwhile was the most glamorous idiot and while it looked like she struggled with her pronunciation, I think it is going to be stunning. Tessa meanwhile was leaning into the dairy of Switzerland, and while the filming felt cringe, I am hopeful it will turn out ok. Hopefully. Kween meanwhile was on the struggle bus, though did give a shout out to my dear Spankie, which earns her a little credit in my eyes.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls opening up about their drag families, as Nelly shared that she has a tonne of sisters. Kween spoke about how her drag mothers saved her and she can’t imagine how her life would have turned out without them. Alyssa spoke about how they are the people who really raised her. Kween and Alyssa meanwhile admitted they desperately want children, though Alyssa worried that she would be mommy dearest. Which tracks. Nelly opened up about how it isn’t possible for her to have a kid in Italy and how it breaks her heart. Tessa spoke about her friend who is raising a son that is on the path to becoming a drag queen and how proud it makes her. And fuck, now I’m crying.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by T.S. Madison as Kitty kicked off the Star Trek: Queens in Outer Space runway looking stunning in a glam black gown surrounded by shimmering planets. Kween was a silver warrior, Tessa gave Dianne Brill in the silver moon of Studio 54, though was a little costumey. Alyssa was a tin foil birth of venus while Nehellenia was an intergalactic robot, Barbie, hooker.
When it came to their commercials, Kitty was hilarious, camp and oh so charming. Which the judges lived for, given she had a clear vision, is funny and nailed each and every moment. And they lived for her runway, given it is just so unexpected for her. Kween on the other hand was confusing and chaotic, though did reference both Spankie AND Hannah, which I liked. Sadly the judges didn’t, wishing she focused on herself as it started to drag towards the end. Though the judges loved everything about her runway. Tessa was fun and stoopid, despite not giving us much about Swiss culture. And they wished she hadn’t already served cow a few weeks earlier. Though they loved how fun her runway was. Alyssa received all the flowers for her commercial, despite it being far more tame than I was expecting. And they lived for her runway. Nehellenia on the other hand was surprising, silly and oh so fun. And her runway was beloved.
Backstage Kween was accepting of the fact she is going to be lip syncing tonight, feeling like she failed and let everyone down. Tessa meanwhile was more focused on the fact that she did so well on the season, given she only filmed her first one four months ago. As she broke down, her sisters congratulated her on how far she has come and that she actually has the best attitude in the competition. Alyssa held back tears, talking about how desperate she was to take out a win on this challenge and show how far she has come. And she was now ready to push herself and jag the crown. Which felt a bit winner’s edit-y, no?
Ultimately Alyssa scored her second win of the competition and was the first queen through to the top four. She was joined by Nehellenia and Kitty, leaving Kween and Tessa to lip sync for the final slot. Just as they expected. As soon as Thelma Houston’s Don’t Leave Me This Way kicked off, it was extremely clear that Kween had no intention of stumbling this close to the end, stomping and flipping all over the stage. While Tessa was spinning and giving the silliest, boobtastic reveals, she also deliberately blocked Kween during one of her tricks which felt a little icky. As such Tessa’s run tragically came to an end, as Kween joined her sisters in the finale and Tessa sashayed away.
Despite being disappointed to see another non-Ru girl go home, I knew that Tessa would be bringing the fun so obnoxiously moo-ed from backstage until she found me. I pulled her in for an epic hug – she is actually my drag daughter, which explains her personality, no? – and told her how proud of her I was. She was clearly underestimated by her sisters and despite not being one of the 10 finalists on the cast, week in week out, she turned a show and delivered epic television. And that, my friends, is the secret to success. So I toasted her run with a deliciously dairy Strawberry Matchessa Testicle.
You can’t swing a dick in Brisbane without hitting a strawberry matcha at the moment, and while they are easily my least favourite berry, in this little number, they are perfect. The bitter matcha is the perfect juxtaposition to the sickly sweet strawberry syrup, which has you coming back for more and more.
Enjoy!
Strawberry Matchessa Testicle Serves: 2.
Ingredients 500g fresh strawberries, hulled and cut into quarters ¼ cup raw caster sugar ¼ cup water 2 tbsp fresh lemon juice 4 tsp matcha powder ½ cup boiling water 2 cups ice 2 cups milk
Method First, combine the strawberries, raw caster sugar, water and lemon juice in a saucepan over medium heat and bring to the boil. Reduce to low and simmer for 5 minutes, or until sticky and reduced. Allow to cool slightly before blitzing with a stick blender to form a smooth syrup. Leave to cool completely.
To make the matcha, sift and whisk matcha powder in a matcha cup or low bowl with the boiling water in a zig-zag motion until frothy and no lumps remain.
Pour ¼ cup of strawberry sauce into the bottom of two tall glasses, followed by the ice cubes, milk and finally the matcha. Then down, on trend, very demure.
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Previously on Global All Stars Ru opted to play into his OG dolls strengths by throwing a little roast. This brought up a lot of trauma for the dolls as Kitty was reminded that Ella destroyed her in their first season, Pythia narrowly avoided the bottom in her first season and many of the dolls were struggling to read in a second language while Alyssa forgot how well she did in All Stars 2. Because she sucked so bad in Season 5. After Kitty was given the power to set the order, she opted to start and finish strong with herself and Kween which proved smart, as the duo split the win. At the other end of the pack. Vanity sang her way into the bottom and poor Pythia was so sweet it was bland. And that was all it took to send my frontrunner, Pythia out of the competition. As the robbed goddess.
Backstage the top six were gagged by how incredible Vanity was in the lip sync, further proving that she is now the assassin of the season. She opened up about how she performed for her mother who is a huge Celine fan. Alyssa turned their attention to the victors, and gave a special shout out to Nehellenia who was oh-so-confident she would bomb the roast but actually, once again, slayed. Talk turned to how everyone was expecting Pythia to make it to the top four, and how shocking it was to see her sashay away. Alyssa and Nelly then had a high-kick off, with Nelly potentially kick-farting before somersaulting into a split. And hot damn, I look forward to their lip sync because they may just kill each other.
The next day Tessa was thrilled to be Pythia-less, given she was tough competition and now she is that much more likely to jag the crown. While the dolls all agreed that they weren’t expecting this top six, which kinda feels like the conversation they have each week, no? Ru interrupted the kiki for a little Who Is She? quiz mini-challenge. The group decided Nelly would be most likely to steal your boyfriend – despite her being married – Kitty was deemed the funniest, Alyssa was voted the prettiest, Tessa is the messiest – duh – Kween and Nelly tied as the shadiest and Tessa the most likely to go home next. Much to her rage. And given she guessed the majority the most, Kween took out the win.
With that out of the way, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over their fallen sisters. And as the winner of the mini challenge, Kween was able to pick her newest sister in the form of Soa. She then paired Alyssa and Eva, Kitty and Miranda, Nehellenia and Pythia, and Tessa and Athena, leaving Gala with Vanity. Which kinda, sorta feels fair, right?
The duos split up to reconnect with Kween and Soa absolutely vibing and ready to go high-fashion, Haus of Kong. Eva was thrilled to officially join the Haus of Edwards, while Alyssa was just desperately hoping to get her rudemption after being sent home – for realsies – on All Stars 2. Oh and their vibe was going to be killer bees. Gala meanwhile was just thrilled to see Vanity is still in the competition, while Athena apologised to Tessa for cussing out her third look in the ball. She then opened up about being disappointed the dolls think she would be the next to leave, but trust and believe she was ready to prove them wrong once again. Kitty meanwhile was in uncharted waters given UK 3 never had a makeover, though was hoping to help Miranda be cute for the very first time. Pythia was rooting for Nelly to overcome whatever is currently going on and make it to the end to overcome the shady dolls. Oh and she is going for back-to-back makeover wins.
Everyone was hard at work as Ru dropped by with the iconique Raven with Kween and Soa reminded to warm up their make-up. Kween admitted she was fair in pairing the queens as they are prone to sabotaging themselves anyway. Alyssa was hoping to get Eva in some bottom lashes, Vanity was going to put Gala through her padding and tucking paces, Athena was looking forward to bonding with Tessa and seeing if she is as annoying as she expected. Tessa opened up about feeling insecure when she arrived, given everyone else – but Alyssa – were finalists, while she was lesser known. Ru then gave her an epic pep talk and ugh, am I going to cry? Miranda meanwhile was looking forward to being basic like Kitty. Or ugly. Pythia on the other hand was looking forward to getting shiny, while Nelly assured Ru that this will be the week she jags a win.
Before departing, Ru announced that they would also need to choreograph their runway to Bring Back My Girls, so good luck everyone but Kween and Soa.
Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs, as Nelly fell way behind and worried about getting to her makeup.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined by Germany’s Dianne Brill as the dolls stomped the Drag Family Resemblance runway. Kween and Pri-Nene Kong made a gorgeous mother daughter duo, having a ball and dancing around. Alyssa and Ava Edwards were twinning killer bees and yeah, Alyssa spent a lot of money to be on this season as they look expensive. Kitty and Puppy Scott-Paws gave teen models in nighties, Nehellenia and Zirconia were gloriously ruffled moons and yeah, Nelly dominated. Tessa and Athena Breasticle were oh so stupid as Athena gave robot realness, but also looked perfect. While Vanity and Insanity sadly looked boring by comparison, just as Ru worried in the walkthrough.
Kween received all the flowers because Soa literally looked like her daughter, and their love for each other shone bright. Alyssa was praised for giving family though not matching it out. Kitty was read for being too basic, particularly given the story didn’t make sense. Nelly received wall to wall praise for being completely perfect. Tessa rightly received praise for putting the focus on Athena and making her look stunning. While Vanity was read for not taking it far enough.
Backstage Kween was happy with her critiques but was pressed about some other people’s. Alyssa praised Nelly for dominating as Kween looked on angrily. When Vanity congratulated her, Kween was frustrated by how much she and Soa looked alike. Kitty started to cry over being in the bottom, which led to Kween shading Nelly’s make-up skills and telling her she was shocked that she wasn’t actually in the bottom. As the Ks simmered with rage, Pythia calmly called Kween an arsehole, essentially, while Kween said all she could see was her beard.
Ultimately Nehellenia took out her first win of the season, much to the firing rage of Kween who was deemed safe alongside Alyssa. Kitty meanwhile became the first Ru girl to land in the bottom two alongside Vanity, as Tessa was thankfully saved. As soon as Cher’s Believe kicked off, it was clear that Kitty was not going to be another victim of Vanity’s assassin title. While Vanity gave yet another dominant performance, feeling the emotion, being shady and having a ball, Kitty leant into the thing she knows works for Ru and that is humour. So she rested heavily on jokes and gags, which tragically ended Vanity’s run and sent her out of the competition.
As has become tradition this season, Vanity followed my screaming tears to the far corner of the Werk Room. I jumped into her arms and questioned why Ru and the producers hate the international queens so much. While Vanity couldn’t exactly come up with an answer for that confusing question, she was grateful for my love and support. And the recipe of the season, IMO, in the form of Mantity Vain.
These glorious little Brendan Pang numbers are honestly perfect. Packed with all the flavour, the manti melt in your mouth as they warm your soul.
Enjoy!
Mantity Vain Serves: 4.
Ingredients 500g lamb mince 1 onion, grated 4 garlic cloves, minced ¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped 3 tbsp olive oil 3 tsp paprika ½ tsp allspice ½ tsp kosher salt, plus extra ½ tsp pepper 25 dumpling wrappers 1 cup greek yoghurt ¼ cup unsalted butter 1 tbsp tomato paste ½ tsp chilli flakes
Method Combine the lamb mince, onion, 3 garlic cloves, parsley, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, 2 tsp paprika, the allspice, salt and pepper in a large bowl. Divide the filling into the centre of the dumplings wrappers and fold to form pyramids, brushing the edges with water to seal. Leave to rest.
Bring a large pot of water to the boil.
Next, combine the yoghurt with the remaining garlic and olive oil, and a pinch of salt in a bowl. Cover and pop in the fridge to age.
Finally, pop the butter in a small saucepan with the tomato paste, chilli flakes and remaining paprika. Place over medium heat and cook, stirring, for a few minutes, or until the flavours have melded.
At this point the water should have come to the boil, so slowly add the dumplings and cook for about five minutes, or until cooked through. Drain and toss with the tomato butter before serving immediately with lashings of the garlic yoghurt. And devouring.
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Previously on Global All Stars the dolls played the Snatch Game and given the season hasn’t been nice to the international girlies, it was always going to be a battle for our poor ESL queens. I mean, could you imagine trying to do improv in anything other than your native tongue? Impossible. But rant over. Pythia was a breath of fresh air, pivoting to a frat-bro Zeus 10 minutes before the shoot and someone looking glorious and firing all of the jokes. In the other group, it was Kitty’s glum, horny, filthy and glorious Princess Di that stole the show. Sadly Pythia didn’t get what should have been her third win, and instead Kitty as Prinny Di earned her, her second. At the other end of the pack it was a battle of the assassins as Gala and Vanity faced off in the lip sync. And given it was literally a song from The Muppets, Vanity leant into her silliness and sent poor Gala home.
Backstage Kitty was thrilled to have jagged her second win – that again, should have been Pythia’s – and most importantly, to finally be a Snatch Game winner. Which is once again a reminder of how good Ella was as Nigella. But once again, I’ve digressed. Tessa was feeling disappointed to have gone from winning to the bottom, particularly since she was an absolute flop. Talk turned to the lip sync with the dolls reminding Vanity that they haven’t heard Ru laugh like that in a lip sync, well, ever. While Vanity was just grateful to have Kween’s advice to put the negative talk in the boot of the car and drive on through the competition.
The next day Kween admitted she was quite surprised to see who had made it into the top seven before everyone realised that Vanity is now the official lip sync assassin of the season. Kitty was busy wishing for a comedy challenge and from her mouth to Ru’s ears, mother arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be battling it out in a rich international roast. So yeah, condragulations Kitty, I guess. Pythia meanwhile was terrified, hoping their mystery guest would be able to coach her to a cheeky safe placement. Oh and as the winner of last week’s challenge, Kitty would be deciding the order.
After Ru exited, the dolls split up to work through their jokes with Alyssa hoping for rudemption after her bomb in Season 5. Forgetting that All Stars 2 exists, basically. BEAST! Given Tessa has never done a roast, she was hoping that Alyssa could give her some pointers for no other reason than she is evil. Kitty meanwhile was feeling her oats, given the jokes about her sisters were writing themselves. Pythia on the other hand, tragically, was paralysed by fear as she worried about bombing her second roast. Kween, Nehellenia and Vanity were kikiing and having fun, particularly Kween, given the other two had no material and she was having a ball reading them for filth. Oh and Vanity had no material as she was planning to sing her roast. Talk turned to the order with Kitty wanting the dolls to turn a good show, so would be putting herself and Kween as the bookends with the flops just filling out the middle. Which is kinda what everyone wants, so it even appears fair.
Graham Norton then dropped by with a cup of joe to coach the doll. After reading Nelly for not having a win, of course. Nelly to her credit opened up about being delusional more than funny, while Tessa was worried about delivering a joke and Alyssa was just hoping to live up to everyone’s expectations. Kween opened up about how brutal everyone is Down Under, so felt ready to demolish the challenge. While Graham encouraged all of them to just focus on being funny and leaning into their weaknesses to cut through. Talk turned to cancellation, with Graham reminding them to make people laugh and that is all that matters. Kitty then decided it was time to announce the order, opting to take the opening slot and then be followed by Vanity, Pythia, Alyssa, Nelly and Tessa before finishing with Kween. And when Kitty mentioned she wanted peaks and valleys in the show, everyone was left wondering who exactly would be the valleys.
Oh and then the zaddy with the nipple ring from the Pit Crew returned and hot damn, I am moister than an oyster.
Elimination Day arrived with Kween ready to devour her set, turning everyone’s attention back to being cancelled. Vanity admitted she got a lot of hate after her first season, while Alyssa reminded her of Ru’s quote that other people’s opinions of her are none of her business and hot damn if that is not the best life advice, no?
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by international treasure Graham Norton as Kitty kicked off the roast in an absolutely blistering manner. Vanity then sang her song, finding all keys but not a single laugh. By comparison, Pythia was not the worst. But not by much. Alyssa thankfully brought the energy back up, elevating her ok jokes with her pitch perfect delivery. Nehellenia started strong and kept the energy going through the entire set, surprising and delighting her sisters in the process. Tessa felt like she brought the jokes from home via AI, before Kween, thankfully, brought the roast to a killer end by eviscerating her competition. I mean, she called Kitty a coloniser. Essentially. Iconic.
On the Blow Me Away runway Kitty was a gorgeous combination of a bride and Bey’s pregnancy shoot, but stuck in a tornado. Vanity was draped in tinsel and I love Christmas, but I don’t love this. Though apparently her OG dress was ruined in transit, so let’s forgive it. Pythia was a stunning, elven goddess doing Ursula cosplay, and so lovely. Alyssa was a shimmering Texan delight in blue, Nehellenia was a gorgeous flaming delight, Tessa was a silver siren before Kween ate them in a gorgeous golden gown, giving us a Bey bookend.
Kitty received wall to wall praise from the judges, though Michelle did wish she took a breath during the roast. Vanity on the other hand got wall to wall demolishment, particularly for the look. The judges just felt roasting goes against Pythia’s nature as she is so kind, but her runway was once again perfect. Alyssa was praised for everything she brought to the competition across the season, and praised for her confidence carrying her through the roast. Nehellenia was praised for surprising the judges in both the challenge and on the runway, Tessa was read for letting the nerves get to her on the roast though they were grateful for a killer look. Oh and then Kween was equally as beloved as Kitty.
Backstage Kitty and Kween were well and truly feeling their oats as everyone praised Nehellenia for such a dominant performance. Pythia admitted that she just doesn’t understand stand up and as such, is fine to lip sync if her look can’t save her again. While Vanity joked that she was hoping to get another win, though didn’t want to be exiting the competition on her one year anniversary of entering Drag Race Sverige.
Ultimately Kitty and Kween were both deemed winners before Alyssa and Nehellenia were sent to safety. With Tessa the last to join them, as Vanity and Pythia were sent through to the lip sync. And while Pythia had a home court advantage in the form of Celine’sI Drove All Night, Vanity felt every single moment of the song and while she looked like ONJ, she was Celine. Which tragically meant the darkest timeline continued and Pythia was booted from the competition.
As is oft the case, particularly this season, Pythia followed the sounds of wild tears to find me backstage where I pulled her in for a massive hug. Begging for her to wake me up from this nightmare, given she should have minimum three wins, instead of going out in the middle of the pack. Eventually she calmed me down, assuring me that she was just so grateful to get another shot at a crown and show of her skills to a global audience, which is a super kind and mature way to handle it. Which is super on brand for her. So to thank her for both her kindness and artistry, I whipped up a piping hot Kale & Sausage Pizzthia.
While it is potentially the reason why Pythia lost – the pizza curse is real, ya’ll – it is so delicious you almost can’t be mad. Spicy sausage, velvety ricotta and a zing of lemon are the perfect throuple to mark such a glorious drag queen.
Enjoy!
Kale & Sausage Pizzthia Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor 200g ricotta 50g grated parmesan 1 lemon, zested salt and pepper, to taste 2 spring onions, sliced 2 cups kale, shredded 100g hot salami, thinly sliced mozzarella, grated
Method Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.
Combine the ricotta, parmesan and lemon zest in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Smear over the bases, sprinkle with spring onions, followed by the kale and the salami and finally the mozzarella.
Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden. Then devour, safely.
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Previously on Global All Stars the dolls had to partner up with their best Judy to share a cocktail. And by cocktail, switch supplies they had prepared prior to departing for the show and whip up a cocktail gown using their sisters’ goods. Obviously this created excellent television, as while Tessa lucked out and jagged a suitcase full of Alyssa’s finest, Nehellenia was pressed by the expensive fabrics supplied for her by Kitty. Which obviously didn’t sit well with Kitty. As could be expected, Tessa’s luck helped her pull out her first win as she put the luxe goods to exquisite use. Alyssa’s attempt with Tessa’s literal scraps somehow kept her out of the bottom, as poor Soa’s floppy edges and Gala’s gorgeous albeit very high-necked look landed them in the bottom. With the queen of my heart, Soa, tragically felled from the competition.
Backstage everyone was heartbroken to have lost Soa, particularly Kween, given she felt like Soa had become her older little sister. The eulogising didn’t last for long, however, as Alyssa turned the attention back to Gala, praising her for her stunning lip sync and now being the assassin of the season. As Gala and Vanity spoke about the need for them to rise to the top this week and cement their places in the competition, Alyssa praised Tessa for taking out the win and growing each and every week. With Tessa suggesting that Alyssa is now part of the Haus of Testicle, rather than her joining the Edwardses as she first thought. So it is now Alyssa Edballs, if you will.
The next day everyone did a quick win count, with Nehellenia and Gala disappointed to be the only dolls that haven’t cut through for a win yet. Gala opened up about the fact she almost quit last week due to the inner saboteur, with Kween once again jumping in and encouraging her to harness the voice to push herself, but to also know when to tell it to shut up. Like you would Tessa, for instance. As Gala broke down, Alyssa encouraged her to have the tears and feel what she needs to, but know that she is making her country proud.
Ru stopped the love fest to announce that they would be continuing the vibes by posing for profile pics for the queer male dating app Archer. Serving thirst trap quick drag. Kitty was a slutty Patsy Stone, Tessa was a literal blow-up doll, Nehellenia was delightfully demented, Gala was rich and stunning, Kween gave butch Beyonce, Pythia gave hairy Lisa Rinna while Alyssa was just glorious and gorgeous. Oh and then Vanity stole the show giving plumped perfection. Well, until she popped. Given Gala serves sex at all times, she rightly took home victory. The love didn’t stop there, though, as Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be playing the Snatch Game of Love trying to win the hearts of Supremme’s boys, Los Javis.
After Ru exited, the dolls split up to talk through their characters while Vanity and Kween speculated who would struggle in the challenge. Both in agreement that Gala could run into problems, given she was in the bottom in her original season. While Alyssa tried to get her to remember all she needs to do it make Ru laugh, not to a killer impression. Just like that, Ru was summoned as Tessa shared that she would be playing Susanne Bartsch, Kween was considering doing the Rock OR an undisclosed mystery character. Nehellenia spoke about being nervous about the challenge, with Ru encouraging her to ignore the questions and just be fun. Alyssa was rocking Annie Oakley like All Stars 2, Vanity was planning to do the euphoric Loreen – much to Ru’s nerves – while Gala was planning to do Mexican icon Laura Leon. Pythia was going with Arnie despite Ru wanting her to play a Greek or Canadian icon, while Kitty was going to play Princess Di, may she rest in peace.
As is oft the case, Ru’s visit got a few of the queens in their heads with Pythia thinking about pivoting to Zeus. Despite the fact she would need to build a look from scratch and find the character in 10 minutes.
We pivoted to the Snatch Game of Love set where the first four dolls got ready to face off for Javier Calvo’s affection. Kween Kong as Kween Schlong, Gala was sticking with the drama of Laura Leon, Kitty stuck with Di and Nehellenia was cute as Valentino. Not to be confused with Valentina. Kween was surprisingly funny, poor Gala was one note after following Ru’s advice to lean into the telenovela and Nehellenia was on point. The first panel was owned by Kitty, however, playing glum Princess Di to perfection. Which was all it took to win Javi’s heart. Javier Ambrossi traded out with his husband as Vanity’s Loreen, Alyssa’s Annie, Tessa’s Susanne and Pythia’s frat-bro Zeus jumped in to fight for his affections. Alyssa was full Alyssa, Vanity was demented, Tessa was silly and fun, though in my opinion, this was Pythia’s panel, giving toxic masculinity perfection. Sadly though, Javi felt Alyssa deserved the win.
Oh and then the Javis made out, which was glorious.
Elimination Day arrived with Tessa disappointed to not own the challenge, though felt ok, given it is the hardest challenge. Alyssa meanwhile gushed over Pythia’s performance, particularly since she pulled it together in ten minutes. Vanity meanwhile was worried about the entirety of Sweden hating her. Meanwhile on the other side of the room Kitty opened up about sleeping with a fan, as Alyssa suggested they should have paid a booking fee given that is what they wanted. Vanity opened up about falling in love with her teenage crush and ugh, it is so sweet and I love everything about it. Kitty was not sure if she would end up with a DBE or be banned from returning home, as Pythia suggested she could actually be assassinated.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Los Javis as Kween Kong opened the Eat Me runway serving Mother Hubbard does Pavlova. Gala was a gorgeous candy confection before stripping down and serving skin, so yeah, that’s a win. Kitty gave full English breakfast – aka a full geezer – Nehellenia was a Bowie-esque cassata, Vanity was a rotted Swedish Fish, Alyssa gave Barbie sundae, Tessa was a stunning swiss cheese while Pythia closed the show as a gorgeous spanakopita.
Kween and Alyssa were sent to safety backstage where Alyssa was gutted to once again be safe. Particularly since she was the snatchelor’s choice. Back on the mainstage, the judges read poor Gala for filth given she gave no jokes at all. Despite looking and sounding perfect. That being said, her runway was gorgeous. Particularly her body. Kitty on the other hand was praised for giving no-stop laughs during Snatch Game and looking stunning on the runway, Nehellenia was praised for picking a hilarious character and leaning into her strengths. And for being so versatile on the runway. Poor Vanity was read for filth for giving nothing more than a look on Snatch Game. Tessa was read for giving no character on Snatch Game, though she was praised for looking stunning. Albeit a bit cheesy. Pythia, meanwhile, was beloved for being so stupid on Snatch Game. To quote Michelle, she was fucking brilliant, pacifically. And once again looking perfect on the runway. Despite the wig, IMO.
Backstage Pythia was on cloud nine after her stunning critiques, with Tessa saying she got the best of the season. Despite Kitty being equally beloved. Talk turned to the bottoms with Gala and Vanity confident it would be them, with Tessa hoping she had done enough to skate by another week. Before poor Vanity suggested that she is just a boring queen, with her sisters assuring her that she is funny.
Ultimately Kitty snuck away with the win as Pythia was deemed only safe – robbery – alongside Nehellenia. While Gala and Vanity were set through to the lip sync, Tessa slid by just as she hoped. I then thought it was a Drag Race France 1 music rights situation, as The Muppets’ Mah Na Mah Na kicked off for the lip sync, but alas it was real. And given there was no possible way to make it sexy, Vanity owned the show, giving equal parts stupid and attitude. And while Gala put in a valiant effort, her run of luck ran out as she sadly exited the competition.
Inspired by Ru’s now questionable advice, I leant into the telenovela drama of Gala’s exit. As she walked off stage, I pulled her in for a passionate embrace, and dramatically assured her that she is a star. Whether she wins a crown or not. Because, dun dun DUN, she won my heart, my loins and a glorious Hamburgala Varo Steak.
Hamburg steaks are one of my favourite dishes from Japan. They are so homey and cute, but mostly unexpected. In no small part thanks to the tart wine glaze and the gloriously smooth cheese.
Enjoy!
Hamburgala Varo Steak Serves: 2 dear friends or lovers.
Ingredients olive oil 1 onion, diced 500g beef mince 250g pork mince ¾ cup panko breadcrumbs 1 large egg 3 tbsp milk 2 tbsp soy sauce 200g cream cheese, cut into 8 cubes ¼ cup beef stock ¼ cup water 2 tbsp unsalted butter ½ cup red wine 3 tbsp ketchup ¼ cup Worcestershire sauce
Method Heat a good lug of oil in a frying pan over medium heat and cook for 5 minutes, or until sweet and soft. Transfer to a large mixing bowl and allow to cool for about 10 minutes. Add the minces, breadcrumbs, egg, milk and soy, along with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch with your hands until well combined before dividing into 8 patties. Make a dent in each pattie, fill with the cheese and close to seal it in similar to how you would a Juicy Lucy Liu. Pop on a lined plate and pop in the fridge to set for about half an hour.
In the same frying pan, heat a little more oil over medium heat and once scorching, add the patties and gently flatten with a spatula. Cook for a few minutes before slipping and cooking for a further few minutes. Add the beef stock and water, pop on a lid and let it steam for another five minutes to cook through but keep nice and juicy.
Once cooked through, remove the patties from the pan to rest. With the pan still on, add the butter, red wine, ketchup and Worcestershire and simmer for 2 minutes, or until rich and glossy. Serve the patties immediately with some rice, green and a generous drizzle of the sauce. And devour, ravenously.
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Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in boobielicious Boobie Movie sequels in the vein of one of the best episodes of All Stars 2 featuring Thelma and Wheezy and the birth of doo-wa, but make it Barbie. But I’ve digressed. In record time. I mean, the first sentence! Everyone was kind of great this week, but Kween Kong dominated as the giant Jurassic Boobie and rightly took out her second win of the season. Then Ru had to split hairs, tragically going with Gala being overwhelmed by her look on the runway and Eva falling in and out of character as reason to be in the bottom. With the iconic Eva tragically going home.
Backstage the dolls were gagged to have lost Eva though Gala was thrilled to prove that she is a lip sync assassin on the global stage. But vowed to step it up this week to avoid showing those skills too often. Pythia meanwhile was heartbroken to be losing her besties week after week, which in turn breaks my heart because Pythia is the sweetest. Vanity spoke about how sure she was that she was going to lip sync because she is getting stuck further and further in her head. Kween sympathised about how hard that can be, sharing that she felt like that was her experience on her OG season. While Alyssa tried to give a pep talk about them being stars, as they remain while the room gets more spacious.
Oh and then Gala (almost) showed hole, which is important.
The next day the dolls were energised to slay another week, with Alyssa in particular thrilled to get out of the safe zone. Everyone congratulated Kween for getting her second win, before turning their attention to Gala’s survival. Thankfully she and Vanity were ready to rise from the bottom though, so all was right in the world. Or they are back in the bottom tonight. Talk turned to what this week’s challenge could be before Ru dropped by to put the girl’s through a little quick-drag flight mini challenge. With the make-up being done in the air, during a heavy bout of turbulence. And hot damn it was silly, fun and a solid reminder of the kind of challenges we enjoyed in the early years when there was an off season. That being said, there was allegedly a judging criteria somewhere and that handed Tessa the win.
Ru asked the dolls to partner up with the sister they would like to have a drink with, leaving Nehellenia alone. Leaving her free to pick her throuple. Tessa and Alyssa formed one duo, with Kween and Gala, and Vanity and Soa the others, while Kitty and Pythia’s couple was joined by the aformentioned third, in the form of Nelly. Ru then explained that the pairings are important for this week’s maxi challenge as before the season, they were all asked to pack a suitcase of raw materials, which their partner would now be using to design a cocktail dress. So congratulations Tessa, because Alyssa’s supplies are going to be expensive. While Kween will be naked, given Gala loves to serve body and Kween has a lot of it.
After dropping that bomb, Ru exited and allowed the dolls to go through their new supplies. Soa was thrilled with Vanity’s golden fabric while Vanity was hoping the emerald green would be enough to get her rudemption. As predicted, Tessa was delighted by her luxe new materials while Alyssa was ready to break down looking at the scraps she inherited from Tessa. Literal scraps. Kween was excited that Gala actually pulled together a bunch of fabrics, looking forward to serving another design, given it is her bread and butter. While Gala was hoping to serve glamour with the lovely fabrics she inherited. Our throuple were a little more apprehensive as Nehellenia inherited two lycras from Kitty, along with a lace, much to her disgust. Kitty on the other hand was loving her suitcase from Pythia.
As they got to work on their looks, Soa grew more and more nervous about the process, though was hopeful there were enough terrible designers in the pack to help her scrape through one more time. Given Alyssa can’t sew, Tessa has questionable taste and Nehellenia was in tears over her fabrics and unable to focus. Kitty briefly checked in to see if she was ok, before flipping it and confronting her for being ungrateful for the multiple, expensive fabrics she inherited when other girls just got one option.
Before the fight could explode, Ru dropped by to kiki with Tessa continuing to delight in how well stocked Alyssa’s suitcase was and how she will be using it to her advantage. Alyssa meanwhile showed off her collection of scraps. Ru praised Alyssa for turning look after look each and every week, cautioning her to not be too boring with her design and oh Alyssa, you (may be) in danger girl. Soa meanwhile was going to glue, drape and hope for the best, Vanity was going rich-glam bow, Gala was going luxe whore and Kween was planning to serve Gala by way of Grace Jones. Nehellenia was still pressed about her fabric though her design looked exceptional, Kitty was planning to twin it with Ru and Pythia had essentially done her dress already and it looked incredible.
Oh and then Kitty handed Nehellenia a tagline in the form of ‘margherita pizza’, which delighted Ru to no end.
After Ru departed again, the dolls quickly buckled down to pull their dresses together. Which in Vanity’s case was just making it over and over again, as she kept changing her mind. Two-thirds of the throuple, on the other hand, were vibing, while Nehellenia was now battling with the sewing machine.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs with Gala ready to serve body-ody-ody, sharing that she would be padding today and trying something new. Soa meanwhile was lightening her make-up as Michelle requested, as Kween sweetly coached her how to work with the skin tone. Tessa was hoping her gown would finally get Alyssa to adopt her and if not, she would like an expensive meal to congratulate her on her win. Vanity meanwhile was spiralling, as she tried too many options the day before and was left with nothing more than scraps, so was literally working paper on to the new gown she was pulling together in the minutes before stepping on the runway.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the gorgeous Jasmine Tookes as Alyssa Edwards opened the 5 O’Clock Somewhere runway trying her best to enjoy her cheap fabric like only Katy Perry could. Alyssa’s words, which I co-sign. Tessa meanwhile was stunning, feeling all her oats and giving her best Alyssa. Soa’s dress lacked shape but hot damn, her make-up was stunning. Vanity somehow managed to pull the look together serving avant garde Poison Ivy, Kween served expensive frill neck lizard, Gala meanwhile looked like Alyssa Edwards doing Marilyn Monroe, Kitty was a silly delight, once again giving night on the town. Nehellenia looked lovely, though she herself hated everything about her ugly dress. While Pythia gave gilded glam and looked stunning, despite her wig not making much sense.
Alyssa, Kitty and Nehellenia were sent to safety before the judges lavished Tessa with all the praise for serving such a stunning look. And by Tessa, Alyssa’s fabrics. Soa’s softened mug was beloved, as was the colour, though she was read for the general shape of her gown. Vanity was praised for the concept, though read for the general execution as she opened up about struggling with her inner saboteur. Kween was praised for giving something different and finding a way to combine herself and Gala in the look. And getting her rudemption from Down Under. Gala meanwhile was praised for trying something different this week and while the dress wasn’t perfect, they lived for what she was trying to do. Oh and then Pythia was beloved, because she is Pythia. Again, despite the wig.
Backstage the safe dolls were delighted to be deemed as such, though Kitty didn’t waste any time throwing shade at Nehellenia for being so emotional. After clocking the tops, them and the bottoms joined the safe dolls with Tessa delighted by how much the judges lived for everything she served this week. Gala meanwhile was hopeful that she wasn’t the worst and ready to slide by, while Vanity was ready to lip sync and fight for another day. Kween asked her to try and relax and get out of her head so she could enjoy herself. Soa meanwhile knew she was in the bottom, though was so proud of how far she had come.
Ultimately it was Tessa that took out her first win of the season before Kween and Pythia were sent to safety. As was an extremely shocked Vanity, leaving Gala and Soa to lip sync to Jessie J, Ariana Grande and my girl Nicki’sBang Bang. And let’s just say the assassins proved how they got their titles, giving their everything and hitting every lyric, feeling all the feels and flipping around the stage. Sadly for my sweet Soa, however, Gala proved herself unstoppable, giving all the anger and attitude, saving herself and sending Sia out of the competition.
As is oft the case, it didn’t take Soa to find me backstage. All she had to do was follow my guttural, wailing cries, as I desperately tried to figure out why such a bright star like Soa was sent home early. She pulled me in for a massive hug and assured me that she loves Kween, Kitty and Alyssa, so doesn’t want me to hold it against them that Ru may be appearing to play favourites with her girls. I continued to sob for a minimum of four hours before finally telling Soa how proud of her I am, for pushing herself and showing the world just how talented she is. And while that isn’t a crown, there is a form of win in there somewhere. And if we don’t count that, we can always count the delicious batch of Soa de Muesli Cookies.
There is nothing more delicious that a muesli cookie. I mean, yeah, chocolates and cornflakes and nuts all make delightful fillings, but the simplicity of dates, oats, coconut and raisin are their own wholesome form of fun.
Enjoy!
Soa de Muesli Cookies Serves: 8.
Ingredients 100g pitted dates, roughly chopped ⅓ cup boiling water 1 egg 2 tbsp honey ¼ cup coconut oil, melted 2 tsp vanilla extract 1 ¼ cups rolled oats ½ cup flaked almonds ⅓ cup desiccated coconut ½ cup sultanas ¾ cup almond meal ½ tsp baking powder 1 tsp cinnamon
Method Preheat the oven to 180C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.
Pop the dates in a bowl and pour over the boiling water and leave to soak for ten minutes. Once nice and soft, mash with a fork to form a paste before mixing in the egg, honey, coconut oil and vanilla.
When the wet ingredients are combined, fold in the oats, almonds, coconut, sultanas, almond meal, baking powder and cinnamon to form a thick batter.
Divide the batter into 8, rolls into balls and flatten on the lined baking sheet to form thick mounds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.
Remove from the oven and leave to cool on the tray for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. And then devour.
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Previously on Global All Stars the dolls were tasked with reviewing census data on the way to forming Global Girl Groups. Everyone, thankfully, was allowed to write verses in their mother tongue, because that would have been completely unfair. Soa and Kween were super confident given they won the Girl Groups challenge on their original season, while Kitty was hoping to finally live up to her potential given she made her name in a literal Girl Group. We know that could have gone either way in the world of Drag Race, but luckily for her, Kitty owned the challenge from start to finish and took out victory. In Untucked, Nehellenia felt everyone was attacking her and telling her she wasn’t good enough while riling up her sisters, when she wouldn’t actually say who felt that way. Ultimately Miranda and Vanity landed in the bottom, with sweet Miranda sent home.
Backstage Vanity was grateful to have survived the lip sync, but sad for the delightful Miranda. To her credit, Vanity agreed that she was the weakest in her team, though pointed out that any of Alyssa’s back-up dancers should have been in the bottom with Miranda instead. Or even Alyssa, given she is the one that did choreography that her sisters couldn’t handle and yas, queen, give us drama, mama!
The next day the energy was far more jovial with Kitty thrilled to have a victory under her belt, particularly since she won more money than Krystal did for winning their OG season. After briefly touching on Vanity’s killer lip sync – her last of the season, allegedly – Alyssa brought things back to Nehellenia’s Untucked tantrum with her awkwardly staying quiet, before apologising for sharing her feelings. Kween explained to Nehellenia that she felt like she and Kitty weren’t able to talk about their own positive critiques due to her drama, and that is why she was so frustrated.
Once again the Ru-larm interrupted what was bound to be an epic Alyssa monologue, as Ru arrived to open the international biblioteca. Because reading is what? Fundamental. Tessa was up first, giving cute and topical, before Pythia was read by Alyssa while she tried to read her. Nehellenia vowed to never watch Tessa’s season, Vanity begged Tessa to shut up and then bombed badly, Kitty meanwhile was hilarious. Full stop. Kween was savage, Alyssa was hilarious, Gala was brutal, Eva was cute, while Soa was iconic and energetic. Rightfully, though, victory went to Kitty because she is nothing if not a shady doll. Pushing her into the role of frontrunner, according to her.
With that out of the way, Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, they would be starring in Boobified – drag doll Barbie – movie shequels. The Pit Crew arrived to help decide teams as the dolls picked their films out of his pink, furry box. Tessa landed on Frankenboobie alongside Vanity, Gala and Eva, Pythia, Nehellenia and Soa were starring in Boobies Of The Caribbean, while Kitty, Kween and Alyssa were cast in Jurassic Boobie.
The dolls split into their teams to read through the scripts with Team Tessa calmly grabbing roles, with Vanity and Gala rocking off for the final role. And while Vanity didn’t get the role of Weird Boobie, she vowed to slay nonetheless, given she needs to prove herself after her bottom two and bomb in the reading challenge combo. While Eva started to panic she was only in the last scene and as such, needed to stand out. Over in Team Caribbean, Soa was thrilled to lean into her heritage with the trio calmly dividing the roles and preparing to have fun motorboating. Which is a cultural thing Nehellenia is only learning. Meanwhile at Jurassic Boobie, Alyssa felt typecast as the older girl, while Kween related to the T-Rex role leaving Kitty as the Laura Dern.
Team Purple were first up to film with Michelle and Jamal with Tessa serving drama, as is her way, Gala was cute and silly, while Vanity pushed through her nerves to deliver madness while Eva struggled to find her bitchy Karen. Boobies of the Caribbean was demented and slutty from start to finish, as Nehellenia embraced her lisp for comedic effect, Pythia walked that fucking duck instead of plank while Soa had her sword stroked. Wrapping up the shoot, Jurassic Boobie was glorious from start to finish as Alyssa gave rando accent and was hilariously iconic as she always is – do wah, do wah – while Kween relished being a big ol’ bitch. Before Kitty snapped the giant blow dryer prop.
Elimination Day arrived with everyone feeling rather confident in their performance, with Alyssa grateful to make it through the shoot without flubbing her lines. Eva meanwhile cheeked in with Pythia, asking what the political climate is like in Canada. She opened up about how progressive it is, however felt growing up in Greece was truly terrifying. She spoke about how she had a falling out with her parents before Canada’s Drag Race, but she secretly went on the show and her parents watching helped them understand and improve their relationship. Gala on the other hand spoke about the disparity in Mexico, with the urban areas very progressive, over the climate was far less kind in outer states.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by style superstar Carson Kressley as Tessa opened the Brown Town runway giving fashion ABBA by way of delivering for UPS. Gala looked like a beast from Mad Max, Vanity was golden glamour in honour of the winner of her season, Eva gave prehistoric fashion, Pythia was her ice age sister, Nehellenia was perfection as a violin, Soa gave William Dorsey Swann and looked gorgeous. Alyssa gave clockwork Kansas steampunk realness, Kitty was living her Kardashian realness while Kween closed the show serving Pasifika warrior realness.
When it came to their movie trailers, Team Frankenboobie were cute and camp, Team Boobies of the Caribbean were oh so silly and gloriously fun, before Jurassic Boobie stole the damn show with Kween thriving and living her best life as a demented doll-dinosaur. Rightfully, Jurassic Boobie were declared the winners with Kween singled out as the best of the best before they were all sent backstage to untuck. After assuring the dolls they were all great this week, Tessa was praised for taking risks and having fun. Gala got her flowers for letting going and was praised for looking glorious on the runway despite there being a lot going on. Vanity was deemed the best of her group, while Eva was read for kinda getting lost in the performance. Pythia was praised for embracing the silliness, Nehellenia was beloved for everything while Soa was praised for constantly surprising the judges.
Backstage the Ru girls were thrilled to remain in the top, as Kween thanked them for having fun and making the challenge a joy. Talk turned to who would be in the bottom this week, with everyone agreeing on Eva but unsure of who in her team would be joining them. The bottoms made their way backstage with Soa opening up about feeling emotional despite getting generally strong critiques. Vanity was worried she would be in the bottom again, not wanting to spend the season in her head like in her OG run. Gala was feeling good, despite being read for giving too much in the look. While Eva was aware she was clearly in the bottom, so disappeared to prepare for the lip sync.
On the mainstage Ru reminded them they all did good this week before declaring Eva and Gala as the bottom two, sending the rest of the dolls to safety. And this too was a show. As Take On Me by A-Ha kicked off – this time minus Gigi’s attempted cheating towards a crown – Eva was gorgeous and hit every note. Gala meanwhile gave silly, camp fun and was clearly not interested in going home. And despite a wig reveal from Eva and some of the 80s finest moves, Gala’s emotion and stunts guaranteed her another week, as poor Eva found herself exiting.
As soon as she stepped off stage, I gave my best rice-cooker-not-plugged-in scream and pulled her in for a massive hug. Despite being such an early boot, there is no denying that Eva, like her sister Marina, is a bonafide star and more than worthy of a crown. But alas, the international queens tragically don’t appear to be faring well this season, and as such, she had to settle with an Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail while she waits.
While I never got to share it with you all previously, I was a dear friend of Liz II’s, may she rest in peace. And since I’ve given up using time travel – the TV show Loki scared me off fucking with it further – I figured she wouldn’t mind me pouring won out for a fellow queen.
Method Pour the dubonnet and gin in a shaker and stir until well combined.
Pop the ice in a glass, add the lemon wedge and pour the cocktail over. Then down, and repeat, as required.
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Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in the International Queen of Mystery Ball. And let’s just say, a ball with 12 queens in 40 minutes means it goes quickly. Very quickly. Pythia was this season’s token helper, kindly supporting all of her sisters and making sure they made it down the runway in something half-way decent. Thankfully for her, it didn’t blow up in her face as it so often does, as she slayed each and every category. Alyssa got her design rudemption, despite her first two looks saving her no matter what. Because they looked expensive. Despite not feeling as confident in her third look, Athena vowed to sell it while Soa got by on a hope and a pray. Pythia rightly won, while Soa and Athena found themselves in the bottom – despite some more questionable looks, IMO – before Soa dominated to save herself, making sweet Athena the Porkchop of Global All Stars.
Backstage the dolls were feeling that shit is getting real, given one of them – finally, for Kitty – went home. Pythia was heartbroken to lose her fellow Greek sister, though sweetly assured Soa she was glad that she was safe. Eva turned things positive, sharing how grateful she was that Pythia’s kindness was rewarded with the win. The next day Soa was feeling her oats to have survived, with Pythia trying to cheer her up pointing out that some people made uglier looks out of combining shit they had, so Soa should hold her head up high for trying something. And yes, that was a Tessa read. Alyssa jumped in to defend her own corset and hot glue number, pointing out she knows how to sell and that, my dolls, is what a winner does.
Ru dropped by, by way of Cher’s Believe era, to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming girl groups and singing the new anthem Say Love. And to decide the team captains, Ru would be diving deep into the census archives – topical in Australia, no? – with the dolls Price is Right-ing the population of their countries, with the three closest without going over jagging the power. Kween Kong, Miranda and Vanity won, with the latter literally within 100K. Hilariously, bless, Alyssa tipped the USA had 100 billion people, wishing she had phoned a friend instead of counting the multiple personalities of her fellow Americans.
I will take this moment for the weekly reminder to crown her. For the love of drag, crown her.
Vanity selected Kitty, Gala and Nehellenia, Miranda went with Alyssa, Eva and Tessa while Kween selected Soa and Pythia. Ru then explained that the dolls would have to write a verse dedicated to love, thankfully in any language. They would then pull together sickening girl group looks and choreograph their debut performances on the mainstage. Oh and they would each have different genres, with Kween’s group assigned LatinX, Vanity assigned Europop and Miranda scoring KPop. Followed by the Colour My World runway, featuring a minimum of two reveals.
The dolls split up to come up with a game plan, with Kween and Soa primed for a second Girl Groups victory, as Pythia quietly worried about keeping up with them. Casually throwing shade at the Canadian girl groups in the process. Alyssa meanwhile was throwing it back to Read U Wrote U, and how disappointed she was to miss it by a single episode. Miranda meanwhile admitted she was nearly in the bottom for her girl groups, while Kitty was hoping for some rudemption after her team let her down on her season. Not the genres, like it actually was. Alyssa meanwhile realised her team’s initials were MEAT, so baptised them Fresh Meat, Kween’s team named themselves D’Vybe, while Kitty suggested they should be the Backdoor Girls.
Talk turned to the lyrics, with Nehellenia planning to talk about loving any man while Vanity wisely would focus on cock. Kitty on the other hand was going with cheesy chips and Kween wanted to go the earnest route, selling her best ass-ets and planning to empower the people.
Team Miranda were first to work on the choreography, with Alyssa running things like a drill sergeant, knowing that they are only as good as their weakest links. And while they appeared to be strong, Alyssa was still hoping to be judged individually. Team Kween was up next, with Kween and Soa vibing, while poor Pythia started to get nervous about picking everything up in time. Though thankfully Kween pivoted on the fly and tried to simplify to help her sister out. Rounding out the segment were Team Vanity with Nehellenia confidently in her element, though not up to Kitty’s standards, who jumped in and pulled together something that was killer and easy. Not letting the dolls let her down.
Elimination Day arrived with Alyssa’s sisters gushing about how she took them under her wing and made sure they were prepared for their performance. Vanity and Miranda, meanwhile, opened up to Eva about how nervous they were to perform on stage and while Miranda struggled with some pain from all the rehearsal, she was proud to have pushed through. Alyssa and Kween caught up about working with dolls that aren’t dancers, and hearing them speak about how proud they are of their sisters melted my cold, dead heart. Gala and Kitty meanwhile were stressed about Vanity’s stress, with Kitty talking about how she just doesn’t want to lose another girl group when she is literally in a drag girl group. While Nehellenia was just hoping to show the dolls that she is just as good as them. Alyssa and Kween, specifically.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the hilarious Ross Mathews as Kween’s D’Vybe opened the show and damn they were good. Despite Pythia not having the confidence of her sisters, and them getting out of sync throughout. Because it was fun and silly. Which you know Ru loves. Fresh M.E.A.T. then arrived and absolutely demolished, despite it really being a Destiny’s Child situation with Alyssa playing the role of Beyonce. Closing out the show, Kitty well and truly got her rudemption as the Backdoor Girls clearly understood the assignment, with Kitty smutty, sexy and in the pocket from start to finish.
On the Colour My World runway, Gala went from Frida to bondage, Eva gave Maleficent to Evil Queen through to Cruella and yas, werk Disney gay, werk. Miranda gave soccer nun, to babydoll through to non-binary love. Tessa took us through a jester burlesque journey, Alyssa went from sun to moon to stars and once again, was perfect. Soa was stunning going through the Gods as she found her colour. Pythia was the Monster from under her bed, through to the evil eye ending on a club kid rag doll number. And again, stunning. Vanity was a series of pride flags, Kween went from yeti, to frog prince green through to gorilla realness. Nehellenia went from coral cape to jellyfish on her way to Dory and Nemo, giving us another Disney gay. Kitty meanwhile went from pink to yellow to blue and orange as she tried to pick her outfit for a night out with the dolls.
Ru announced that they’d be judged individually before Eva, Tessa, Alyssa, Soa and Gala were sent to safety. Miranda’s runway was read for being a mess and giving a different energy in the performance, despite her clearly having fun. Pythia was read for letting them know she was flubbing the dance moves in the performance, though they loved her runways. See: fashion queen of the season. Kween was praised for owning the performance, hitting every beat and smartly serving humour to help her sisters out. While two out of three looks were killer. The judges could tell Vanity was nervous, though Ross loved her passion for sucking dick. And for her dedication to showing off all the flags. Nehellenia was beloved for being lovable and joyous on the stage, and giving fun on the runway. While Kitty, rightly, received wall to wall praise for every moment this week, owning the performance and giving all the energy and charisma.
Backstage Alyssa was disappointed to be safe as Gala tried to assure her that her team let her down, given she is a star. Alyssa admitted that she desperately wants to be judged on her performance and hers alone this season (justice for her and Alaska’s comedy win). Gala proclaimed her group as the best, as they couldn’t figure out if Pythia or Vanity would be joining Miranda in the bottom. The tops and bottoms joined them, with them guessing Kween or Kitty would be taking out the win, while they were debating whether Nehellenia would be in the top or bottom, which drove her insane. Pythia started to break down, feeling bad for letting Kween and Soa down, as her sisters rallied and assured her she did her best and they had a blast with her. As Kween suggested some other people should be in the bottom over her, while Alyssa begged Pythia to just give herself grace. While Miranda sweetly spoke about her own pride, despite clearly being in the bottom. Vanity on the other hand was annoyed by her own bottom.
Nehellenia jumped in to tell her sisters the judges respect her and she got only positive critiques, so she doesn’t care if her sisters don’t love her. Miranda quietly removed herself to prepare for the lip sync, while Soa got sick of hearing Nehellenia pop off about being in the top. Vanity was upset that she kept saying all of them hated her, so angrily removed herself with Soa. Kween tried to put it into perspective, explaining that people are annoyed as she is saying they’re all picking on her, but then saying it is only some and not naming names. While they just want to focus on lifting up their sisters who are about to lip sync.
We pivoted back to the mainstage where Kween and Nehellenia were sent to safety as Kitty deservedly took out her first win of the season. At the other end of the pack, Pythia’s runway managed to keep her safe as Miranda and Vanity lined up to lip sync for their lives to the iconic Spice Up Your Life. While Vanity served spicy, sexy icon from start to finish, it was hard not to fall in love with Miranda’s clown performance. She was living her best life as she gave silliness and just vibed. Sadly though, it was not enough to save her, as Vanity lived to fight another day and Brasil’s Sasha Velour was tragically sent packing.
As sweet Miranda arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her how proud of her I am. Despite being an early boot, Miranda was a polished star from start to finish, giving a daring talent and serving look after look. And that makes her another robbed goddess, though maybe that is just the calibre of the dolls this season? Obviously I said she was the only robbed goddess, because I wanted her to feel as good about her departure as she could. Which she did, after smashing a massive bowl of Whipped Miranda Lebrie Dip.
There is nothing more comforting than cheese. Although it does turn out you can make it even better, just with a bit of a whip. And bacon. And honey. Then, it is stunning. And hard to stop eating.
Enjoy!
Whipped Miranda Lebrie Dip Serves: 4.
Ingredients 100g streaky bacon, diced 600g brie, rind removed thyme leaves, to sprinkle hot honey, to drizzle sourdough, sliced and toasted to serve
Method Pop a frying pan over medium heat and fry the bacon for a few minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove from the pan and pop it on a plate lined with paper towel.
Dice the rindless brie and pop into the bowl of a stand mixer. Using the paddle attachment, beat the brie for 10 minutes or until pale and fluffy.
Spoon the cheese into a bowl, sprinkle with the bacon and thyme, and drizzle with hot honey. And then devour with bread. You can use crackers if you want, but bread is just perfection, IMO.
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