Fourteenth Place

Fairob Brentele

Australian Survivor, Lunch, Main, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, Survivor: Australia V The World, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor JLP has been marooning every day Aussies, a healthy dose of C-list celebrities, dozens of iconic athletes, an award winning actress and some OG Survivor legends in the islands of Samoa, Fiji and a brief stint in the Queensland outback after that little thing known as the pandemic. In that time we have crowned a Samoan Sea-Witch, a Cookie Monster, an Olympic legend, the aforementioned award winning actress, a Golden God, a doctor of pain, the then-husband of the icon that should have won a season, a non-medalling Olympian, a Feras Wheel and most recently, a Jungle Rat. And to celebrate hitting a decade on air, JLP is pulling out more than just his guns to celebrate – an international showdown, the likes of which have never been done before.

Well, except by Ru, but I digress.

Presumably in an ode to RuPaul, we opened this very special season – which will also mark my retirement alongside JLP – with some ASMR lover from JLP. That is until we pivoted to an airport runway where, presumably, the world players were trying to land as Shonee made her iconic return, fresh from mat leave and back in her iconic red dress. Luke then escaped from the luggage cart – I shit you not – ready to create chaos and win. Welp, I am already wrong – Sarah and Kirby exited the plane with the latter ready to take on the best and dominate. Business queen Janine arrived to give us a boost, by way of Steve Tyler’s look while George is far more likeable with a dad bod, though in the battle with Shonee, he is out. Oh and David is back, fresh from his record breaking victory in the US. Driving the army truck out of the airport to collect his tribemates and take them to start the game.

The World tribe, meanwhile, came in Mad Max style, by way of the American South led by two time winner Tony, Queen Cirie and fellow Black Widow Parvati, who ideally will be coming out to get her second win. And in her eyes, to get redemption for her loss in Samoa. We met Kass, a runner-up from Quebec, perma-reigning Lisa from NZ, cute little Tommi from Finland and the absolutely dominant Rob from South Africa. The latter, ready to put the Gods and Kings from Australia back in their place. Which is hilarious.

All the heavy vehicles presumably parked somewhere before the tribes met JLP by the shore to officially kick off the game. With the Aussies rightly gagged to see Cirie, Parvati and Rob’s guns. Shonee spoke about holding the Australian record for most days played as she and Parvati winked at each other, immediately flooding my basement and making me question whether I am straight. Tony was sad to be called a two time winner given it makes him a target, before Kirby admitted that she doesn’t know who anyone is given she hasn’t watched the show. Though she is hoping it will be an advantage. Tony admitted he is ready to lose a limb to snatch the crown, while Cirie was non-committal about finally jagging a win, though agreed she would happily lose a limb trying.

The tribes threw on their buffs before JLP put them through their paces in the first challenge of the season, where they would race down a slide, scramble under a net and toss their sacks at a bell. And the victor of each battle would get to pick from a shelf of supplies which included champagne and a mystery box, which immediately got Parv excited. After the World tribe were delighted to see George in his Aussie speedos, David and Rob were first to face off. Well, after David tried to woo Rob into a cross-tribal alliance knowing they were both huge targets as they slowly walked up the stairs. Sadly it wasn’t enough to take out the win in the challenge, as Rob won and collected the mystery box for the world. Tommi and George were up next with George, shockingly taking out the win and collecting the flint. With Lisa calmly calling him insufferable, like a damn queen. Kirby quickly defeated Parv and jagged a fruit basket, Luke beat Tony and won a tarp before Cirie won pillows over Sarah and Kass beat Janine for coffee and tea. Then came the battle we’ve all been waiting for, Lisa and Shonee, with Lisa taking out the win and scoring the bubbly.

We followed the World tribe back to camp where Parvati quickly mentioned she was excited to open the box. Sadly for them, however, they needed to find a key to do it. After pouring a champagne, Cirie led the tribe through introductions while Parvati worried about the fact the US players were outnumbered by the global players, given that it could be an easy alliance. Parvati was also worried about Tony and where things stood between them, so pulled him aside to talk about whether they can trust each other, while Tony was just nervous about the appearance of the US trio all being too close. Which is exactly what the World players were worrying about. Rob pulled them off one at a time to talk about targeting the Americans, even telling them that David wants to target them too, so they would easily have an ally come the merge. Sadly for them, while Lisa agreed to their face, it was clear that she is going to align with Cirie as she straight up sobbed about how much of a fan of hers she is.

As such, she went collecting logs with Cirie and admitting to being her biggest fan leading to them pledging their undying loyalty to each other and ugh, I honestly can’t believe we are watching this magic.

We checked in with the Aussies where Sarah asked everyone to admit who they have played with, while George started to shit himself because his only past relationship is with Shonee. As such, he pulled her aside to try and clear the air. And while it appeared that everything was all good between them, she confirmed to us that she has no interest in working with him. Ever. She admitted that this time, she plans to avoid having any ride or die relationships like her previous games. She and Kirby then caught up and given they both have clean slates in the game, locked in a secret alliance, and ugh, I live. Almost as much as I do for Shonee’s fixation on getting revenge on George in as ishonic a manner possible.

As Luke went hunting for idols, we checked in with David who was feeling rather exposed as the only winner on the tribe. Though given he can’t hide, he decided to play harder. He went hunting for idols, as did George. Knowing they are both massive targets, they realised they may have no other option but to align with each other, along with Luke, to protect themselves. And while I hate it, the fact that David was keen to name their alliance the Power Bottoms, I am keen for it. Wait, it is another welp moment – sadly for Geroge, David and Luke had no actual interest in working with him and ugh, I almost feel bad for him and the Power Bottoms that could have been.

Back at the World camp the girls sipped on champagne as Rob desperately worked to start a fire. After gassing himself out, Parv took him for a walk to try and find a new ally, awkwardly trying to forage mushrooms. Which feels too soon for all Australians. Before they picked any, Parv and Rob spoke about how beautiful each other’s eyes are. Sadly for him, she had seen him and David talking at the challenge, so leveraged her Deal or No Deal Island bond and told him she knows who he is because David told her he wanted to work with him while filming that show. And while Rob promised not to tell anyone that she and David were on another show together, it feels like this is the moment that is make or break for one of them. And while Rob is confident that the World alliance will win out, he is already underestimating Lisa.

The next day we learnt it was Parvati’s birthday and to celebrate, she was hoping for an immunity win. Because if she makes it to Day 3, she will be tied with Boston Rob for most days played at 152. Right on cue, we pivoted to the immunity challenge where the tribes would race to push a staircase down a walkway to climb a wall, then build another staircase with massive blocks and then two people would climb to the top and shoot coconut at tiles. With the first tribe to knock out eight tiles snatching the win. The World tribe got out to an early lead thanks to Rob’s massive guns. Sadly for them, the Aussies closed the gap while building their stairs with the lead going back and forth until the Aussies made it to the top. This gave David and Luke a massive advantage shooting their (coco)nuts. They quickly knocked out two before Tony and Rob joined the frey, with Tony closing the gap. David and Luke then knocked out two more, followed by one for Tony, before David and Luke pulled ahead again and David ultimately secured victory for the Aussies.

As Rob asked David to find the key for the box and openly spoke out their previous chat, as Parvati watched on closely.

Back at camp the tribe were gutted about their loss, though Rob admittedly wasn’t too concerned, given the single country alliance has the numbers and could knock off whoever they wanted. The four of them caught up with Parvati in the ocean with him desperate to get her to name a name, as she straight up refused, before Rob named Cirire. Though given she could sense Rob was in control, Parvati wisely mentioned that looking at the US trio as allies is silly, and everyone needs to talk before tribal council. After Rob pulled them aside to switch the vote to Parvati, he caught up with Cirie and Tony to talk about the fact the global players are scared of the US people being aligned and as such, Cirie’s only hope is to vote for Parvati. And while she agreed to get rid of her, Cirie assured us that she would never turn on her.

It came back to the two of Parvati and Rob, with Parvati hilariously calling out Rob for bulldozing his allies and while she thought the two of them were allies, she told him that she couldn’t name anyone else because he is aligned with everyone. He then admitted that he can’t name anyone else because ultimately it doesn’t matter, which hilariously led to her clocking that he was voting for her. They then caught up with Cirie, with Rob laughing about how chill Cirie is and ugh, he does not know who he is dealing with. Cirie then caught up with Lisa who told her that Rob is the one throwing out her name, and the duo agreed they desperately want him out. Though Lisa admitted to us that getting rid of Parv could actually help bring her and Cirire together, so she was still open to it. Kass and Lisa caught up about Rob’s fixation on Parvati, as she hilariously walked up and got them to admit that she was the target as she swiftly convinced them to join her in blindsiding Rob instead.

Parvati looped in Cirie on the fact the women were keen to band together to get rid of Rob, while Tony spoke to them for less than a minute to lock in his vote with them. Lisa meanwhile caught up with Tommi and Kass to see what they were thinking, however sadly, the producers didn’t let us know which way they were planning to go, given they are in control.

At tribal council Parvati spoke about how challenging it is to find commonalities, given they all have such different backgrounds and the pace is moving so fast. Oh and the fact that people are already making allies across the tribes. Which Rob said was smart, given they are doomed if the Aussies get the upper hand. Cirie jumped on Parvati’s move, talking about how the game started the second they hit the mats and while she hadn’t had many conversations, things picked up this afternoon and she is feeling more hopeful. Tony downplayed aligning down country lines, while Rob suggested everyone should avoid a blindside this early and everyone should be unified. And while Kass agreed with JLP that it can’t be unified, she did think it could be close. While Parvati danced around the fact that she, Tony and Cirie have cause to be nervous.

Talk turned to strength with Cirie pointing out that physical strength isn’t the be all and end all, which Rob tried to agree with, talking about how important it is to stand firm with your allies and build trust over time. Which Parvati hilariously pointed out means he is wanting them to come back to build trust, with her getting so far under his skin that he mentioned he has no interest in ever working with her, because she has a big secret she is keeping from the tribe. She admitted that she and David had been on a show together before this, however she didn’t say they would work together. She then went in on Rob, talking about how he and David are the ones constantly talking at challenges and clearly want to work together. Lisa mentioned that the game has moved so quickly, she didn’t even know an entire storyline crossing the reality multiverse had been happening while she was scrambling on the beach.

Cirie tried to distract from the mess, talking about how whatever had been going on doesn’t change the relationships she has formed. While Parvati said she will clearly be voting for Rob – as he will her – because Parvati refuses to play with someone who wants to control his allies. Cirie then got up to talk to Lisa, Kass and Tommi who agreed nothing had changed. With that the tribe voted – Rob shockingly for Cirie, to protect against an idol – before the votes piled up on Rob and swiftly sent him from the game.

While he was disappointed and a little shocked to be out first, it took it in his stride and admitted to clearly underestimating how good the US legends were. And given he was so sweet, I couldn’t bring myself to point out you can’t repeat your winning game on an All Stars – unless you are Sandra – so strong-arming everyone was never going to work. So instead, I served him up a batch of Fairob Brentele and sent him on his way.

Given this is my farewell season alongside JLP, I knew I had to work my way through a few iconic Australian recipes. And there is none more iconic than Fairy Bread. While it doesn’t really have much flavour – aside from sweet bread and butter – I will never turn it down. Nor will Rob, now.

Enjoy!

Fairob Brentele
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
2 slices white bread
1-2 tbsp butter, softened
1-2 tbsp hundreds and thousands

Method
Spread the butter all the way to the edges on each slice of bread.

Sprinkle with hundreds and thousands.

Cut into triangles. Devour.


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Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Baking, Cake, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Brains smashed parmies and pints, while Myles continued to piss off Zara and Laura as he ran his mouth trying to make friends. Despite the ladies assuring him that the OG Brawn will not move for any of them. At the immunity challenge, Laura and Logan caught up and agreed that both of their tribes were clearly trying to throw the challenge, rather than Ben and AJ just being flops when it came to shooting … baskets. Back at camp an injured Noonan was irate that AJ didn’t tell her he was throwing, given she could have saved herself the injury by not participating. She then told Logan that AJ was coming for her and continued the chaos at tribal council where Paulie played his idol, which in turn spooked AJ into playing his – infuriating Karin in the process due to him keeping it from her – before Noonan sadly went home.

We followed them back to camp where AJ congratulated Paulie on his correct idol play before begging Paulie to tell everyone the truth, that he didn’t throw out Logan’s name. Which led to the duo arguing back and forth about semantics, given AJ didn’t directly say to vote her out but he clearly, heavily implied it. Practically via sky writing. Seeing this for what it is, the tribe grew tired of it so all disappeared, as Karin congratulated Paulie on his successful idol play and assured him that she trusts him. This upset AJ, who asked her to stick around and talk to him, while he tried to explain that he kept the hidden immunity idol secret because that is what you do on Survivor. While Karin argued that she just felt that if they were aligned, there wouldn’t be any secrets between them. As Logan and Paulie giggled off to the side, absolutely living for the drama. Mama.

Things were slightly less tense the next day as AJ watched the sunrise before checking in with Karin as she tended the fire. Though given their conversations were all pleasantries, he should still be nervous, despite whatever assurances she may or may not have offered. He then joined Kaelan hunting for idols to thank him for working together and being a constant in the game. Karin, Logan and Kristin caught up to talk about the former’s very emotional reaction to the idol play, before it descended into swapping stories about how AJ is telling them all the same thing. And his robotic attempts at connection are giving them the ick. And ugh, I feel bad for him now! 

Paulie meanwhile was leaning into his strengths, wearing his speedo and looking like a gorgeous King. He then floated to the OG Brains that going to the merge together would be best for everyone, so they should just replace AJ with him instead. As he desperately wants to work with him, and that he is trustworthy and has integrity. Rather than AJ’s shiftiness. And he drastically improves their odds moving forward, given he has friends over on Brains. And while it was a good pitch, Karin knew Paulie was a snake oil salesman. But all of his sales come with a kernel of truth, and he is so damn likeable, that she kind of wants to see where things go anyway.

Over at the Brains Kate and Morgan were hanging by the shore and absolutely vibing, given they have the numbers advantage and don’t have to stress about anything. At all. Except for the fact that Ben and Jesse feel like they’re in control, and they aren’t feeling it, so would prefer to explore new opportunities. Jesse called everyone together for a snack, suggesting that this new tribe should be the new majority alliance rather than the OG Brawns, so they can all share margies at the Jury Villa. And while everyone smiled at the idea of having an alliance with everyone in the tribe, the girls had had it. Officially. They ventured down to the beach to wash off, reading him and his idea for absolute filth. We then got a proper introduction to Kate and ugh, she is an icon, she is the moment. She and Morgan pulled Laura and Zara aside at the well, assuring them that they want to work with them on this tribe and after the merge, despite their alliances on the other side. And just like that, Girls Gone Wild was formed and please, let this damn all women alliance stick as I need it in my life. Like, yesterday.

My love JLP returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off using poles to hold a trough up. Aka the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours. Well, after a little kiki between the tribes about the mass of information that was dropped. Specifically between Zara and AJ, through mime. After Kate and Zara took their place on the sit out benches, the challenge was on. Well, for a brief moment, after Brains dropped out of nowhere in the first five minutes. With the surprise loss, everyone started to question who threw the challenge. With Morgan, in particular, irate. Obviously AJ did remind them it could have been a complete accident, but not a single Brain believed it. Particularly Laura. Though Logan was grateful to learn Zara and Laura felt safe. 

Back at camp things were very, VERY, tense, as Jesse spoke about how the challenge was just so hard, aye. Happy to be done with said new Brains strong alliance and ready to get rid of one of the OGs. Myles took Laura and Zara for a walk to lock something in. And by lock in, went hunting for an idol. Meanwhile, Ben and Jesse and the former Brawns were busy locking in all their votes for Laura. With a single vote on Myles for safety. Morgan and Kate offered to go talk to Laura and Zara, with Jesse telling them it is finally time for them to get some dirt on their hands. Which obviously pissed them off, just before they ran off to talk to them. Meaning the girls promptly re-confirmed the newly formed Girls Gone Wild alliance, with Laura hoping to loop in Myles. And when she learned she was Jesse’s target, she decided to target him instead. Kate and Morgan caught up about how they navigate around PD and Ben feeling betrayed, while Laura and Zara told Myles that he and Laura are the split vote. But if they all vote Jesse, they just may take control.

Jesse and Ben, however, were feeling a little bit spooked about how much the girls were getting along. And as such, thought about looping Myles in and getting the men to load all their votes on Laura. Hilariously talking about potentially talking to Myles IN FRONT OF MYLES. Ben and Jesse were feeling super confident about their new plan, but the more they spoke, the more Myles realised that they have no idea how the game is played, and as such, ensured he will stick with the women. Despite naming the men’s alliance the Hunkz based on one of Jesse’s tatts. The bobbsey twins then pulled PD aside to loop him in, as they happily wandered off thinking 4 was a majority in a tribe of 5.

While everything felt settled, Laura started to get nervous about whether Kate and Morgan are actually with her, so pulled Kate aside to confirm. Sadly, in front of the boys. After sending Kate off, telling her to tell them she is desperate and just throwing out plans, Laura went idol hunting. And while she didn’t jag an idol, she did jag an advantage. One so good, she felt like she would be on top. Zara stumbled upon her, with the duo locking in their trust as she shared the as yet unknown advantage. Which seems kinda dicey, given Zara’s angry fuck. Despite being current besties, Zara had had it. Officially. As she just can’t catch a break and felt like the advantage was actually a disaster. Laura pointed out it is a solo game and as such, was going to play it. Not to be out done though, Zara vowed to spill the information far and wide.

We pivoted straight to tribal council where Zara refused to vote for Laura, which kind of gave a hint of what the advantage was. Jesse spoke about struggling with the poles, and that is why they dropped, not him throwing the challenge or anything. Zara meanwhile whispered to Laura that she is a rat. And once JLP called it out, Laura tried to save face, by pointing out that whoever received the most votes tonight won’t be going home and instead they would join Brawn. Zara and Myles suggested it go down to an open forum, with Laura and Zara both putting their hands up. Myles asked what the goal would be of them going, with Zara and Laura sharing why they would be best placed to foster relationships heading into merge.

Ben suggested Laura just wants to go over to reunite with her bestie, with her countering that Zara’s bestie Karin is also there. Though when Ben and Jesse pointed out Karin is working with Kristin, things looked more hopeful. Well, for Zara. As Laura congratulated her on a game well played. Ben asked Zara if she would get rid of AJ if she were to go, with her assuring them she has no interest in playing with chaotic players. Leading to the former Brawns whispering about which one was the right decision. With that the tribe voted and Zara, narrowly, came out on top. And after eventually gathering her things, she wandered off to reunite with Karin. As Laura simmered with rage, telling everyone that she wouldn’t have done that to Zara.

We followed her off to her new tribe where Karin and Logan were absolutely delighted to see their former ally. She then regalled them with the tale of how she made her way there, with her conveniently saying that she and Laura found the advantage together. She assured Logan that while the OG Brains were on the bottom of the tribe, they had all worked their arses off to make some inroads with the tribe. She then asked if they could catch her up on what she had missed, though was unsure she should do that in a group setting, given it sounds pretty feisty.

The next day Laura was still simmering with rage at Brains, talking about how angry she was that Zara stole her exit to Brawn. And when Jesse apologised, not realising Zara was hijacking it and that he would have voted differently if he did, she assured him that all her anger is directed towards Zara. Kate too was frustrated, though at both Laura and Zara, because they were about to blindside Jesse. And still could have done that, if only they didn’t find the damn non-advantage. And now that they have to wait longer, their plans could leak before they have the chance to get him. As such, Kate caught up with Jesse to talk through plans post-merge, with him rightly clocking that their alliance could crumble and suggesting that they need to figure out their next moves. With him pitching they take out Zara at the merge.

Myles meanwhile was having a good laugh, given he once again copped votes at tribal council, even though he wasn’t part of it. Thankfully, though, he assured us that he wasn’t serious about aligning with the boys, given they are idiots (my words, not his). What he was serious about, though, was finding an idol, so he scurried away to go hunting. With him once again making easy work of it, pocketing the idol and keeping our pole-dancing bi king alive for another day.

Also Ben is nowhere to be seen around camp, which feels odd, no?

We checked in with the Brawns where Zara realised she was now living a life of luxury, while Karin was just delighted to have her bestie back in the game. And hopeful that she would be able to use Zara to get rid of AJ. He obviously knew it, following them around like a bad smell every time they tried to chat, with Kaz eventually storming off, enraged with him. AJ used the time to loop Zara in on the fact that he didn’t tell Karin about her idol and how that was the final straw, after his theatrics. Though he was now hopeful Zara would be able to help him smooth things over. He told her not to trust anything Paulie says. Which she agreed with, suggesting that once he is gone, she would like to turn their attention to Logan, as they cannot risk her and Laura reuniting at the merge. Which was music to AJ’s ears, as he felt he could finally claw his way back to the top.

My love JLP returned for the reward challenge where the tribes would face off 1 on 1, sliding down a ramp to collect a ring and then wrestle it to their pole. With the first tribe to three scoring a trip to the Survivor Spaghetti Shack. Just a reminder, they would be slipping a ring on their poles, which is important. Logan and Kate were first to battle, with the icons fighting hard before Logan scored the first point for Brawn. The twink and twunk faced off again, with Paulie dragging Myles and the ring to put Brawn further in front. Morgan then destroyed Karin before Ben, who apparently was just on the toilet earlier, tied things up over AJ. Who literally just gave up. PD and Kaelan then faced off for the win, with Kaelan once injuring someone, as medical were called in as PD’s arm made a cracking sound. 

As he received care, Kaelan ran to the side in tears, heartbroken to have injured someone. Again. As everyone assured him it was an accident. PD was moved off to a seat where JLP – a qualified doctor, need I remind you – and the doctor decided he may have just torn a tendon, given he could still move his arm. As everyone was focused on making sure Kaelan didn’t stress about his latest victim, Laura pulled Logan aside to warn her that Zara hijacked the non-advantage and not to trust her. Rather than calling off the challenge, JLP called that battle a draw and instead Zara and Laura would end their feud for the win. While JLP begged everyone to be gentle from now on. As they made their way to the top of the ramp, Zara apologised profusely and while it appeared that everything was all good, neither gave an inch during the challenge and after 10 minutes, Laura took out victory for the Brains. After JLP handed the Brains a scroll to explain how their feast would work, PD assured Kaelan everything was all good before he was taken off for further assessment, and ugh, seeing Kaelan break down in tears again was so heartbreaking.

We followed the Brains off to their reward where they read the scroll outlining they would each visit the shack solo. Being fair they all drew sticks, with Jesse first and Kate forced to go in last. Jesse ventured and absolutely demolished the entire set while going to town on some balls. After finding nothing, Ben went in to try, followed by Laura before Myles got to have his turn. And unlike the rest of the tribe, he emptied the bowl to discover a note telling him to check the shelf. Or so he thought, given the note actually said to check the shelter. And while he turned the place apart, he didn’t realise his mistake. Nor did Kate, who went last. 

Back at camp the Brawn tribe were heartbroken to have missed out on the spaghetti, though didn’t have time to dwell, as Kristin asked if anyone managed to get information from the other tribe during the challenge. Logan obviously stayed awkwardly quiet, given Laura told her that Zara threw her under the bus at the last tribal council. Logan pulled Karin aside to see whether they can trust Zara, particularly given she is close to AJ and may just let him get away with voting her out. Logan and Karin agreed they now have the ick with AJ and while they tried to float getting rid of him with Kaelan, the quiet killer still wanted to take out Paulie first. As such, the trio went idol hunting as Logan was convinced that AJ would be the death of her. She then immediately found the idol, thrilled to have some power. And can be assured that neither AJ or Paulie don’t have it. Oh and she managed to build a little trust with Kaelan and Karin in the process, which she hoped could help her take control at the merge.

Meaning PD is definitely not coming back and this episode is now just dedicated to setting up merge plot lines, no? Though watching Karin and Logan cackle about accidentally sending home AJ on a split was fun.

We checked in with the Brains where Kate held onto a massive bag of food for PD’s return, presumably to distract herself from how irate she was with Jesse for eating all the meatballs. While Myles was angry at himself for not finding the idol on the shelf. Thankfully he perked up after finding the scroll in the shelter, and this one was actually good, the power to steal an idol before JLP sends people off to vote at tribal council. Aka Knowledge is Power.

The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where PD joined them with his arm in a sling. Again, the second person to become Kaelan’s victim. Thankfully for Kaelan’s guilt, PD was allowed to stay, Missy style, as his bicep was just torn. Though JLP cautioned that he may not be able to compete in every challenge. PD promptly sat out for the Brains meaning AJ had to sit out on Brawn. Which was wise, as it was a challenge that one person could throw. Everyone would hold a rope to balance a disc while they worked to build a stack of blocks on top. With the first to ten scoring immunity. Logan ran the Brawn tribe like it was a military operation, getting out to a huge lead as the Brains struggled to figure it out. Until Brawn dropped after loading their ninth block, opening things up for Brains. Brawn caught up and then dropped again, before Kate put everyone out of their misery, saving the Brains stack while placing the final block.

Back at camp Paulie and AJ were both feeling anxious, pulling their people aside to find some allies. Paulie tried his luck with Kristin, while AJ, Karin and Kaelan caught up, with AJ pretending he will be fine to be the split vote to apologise for playing so crazily. He, Karin, Zara and Logan caught up by the well with Zara telling AJ to pull his head in and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. As she will not tolerate his bullshit. Karin, meanwhile, wanted to make AJ sweat a little to punish him for his theatrics. As such, she caught up with Paulie with our zaddy reiterating that she can not trust AJ and he clearly isn’t going to help her make it to the end. And as such, she needs to jump on board his plan to get rid of AJ before he gets rid of her. Paulie pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of her playing her idol for him tonight to send AJ home instead. He made a very wise pitch, suggesting that if she saves him, at the merge they just need to pull PD over and then they can play the middle for the first few votes. Which Kristin found hilarious given she now holds all the power, and PD is actually her ally anyway.

AJ started to get nervous as Paulie and Logan kikied in the shelter, so pulled Kaelan aside to talk through the vote and make sure he didn’t need to worry, given Paulie seemed way too comfortable. AJ was confident that Kristin and Zara wouldn’t turn on him, but was concerned about Karin and Logan. And given he was nervous about a Paulie idol play, he wondered whether they should be talking out Logan instead. He clocked that Kate and Morgan would join Logan and Laura at the merge and become a dangerous foursome, while Paulie will always be a target. And while Kaelan tried to talk him off the edge, Zara joined the boys to confirm with them that the Paulie plan is still on. Kristin and Karin joined the fray, with Kristin telling them everything and shutting it all down. Though trust, Karin was kinda hoping for some drama or an idol play, so she could see AJ accidentally heading out the door.

When the Brains arrived at tribal council, the tribe – along with us – were gagged to learn that none of them would be going home tonight as tribal council was cancelled. Ben had opted to quit the game, off screen, leaving us with no clarity or final words. After an assurance that one of them just got a second chance, they all got sent back to camp as I made a beeline for the airport hoping to catch Ben. And while he was already through customs, I wasn’t able to get answers about his mysterious exit – let’s pray the producers give us something tonight – I was able to lob a Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake to him for the flight home.

Despite leaving no impact on the season, Ben lucked out with arguably the best recipe – a NYT copycat – as this cake is God tier. I mean, you can’t go wrong with the combination of peanut butter and chocolate. And when we slather it in two glazes, it is even better.

Enjoy!

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
240g smooth peanut butter
115g cream cheese, at room temperature
75g muscovado sugar
5 eggs, at room temperature
1 tbsp vanilla extract
430g flour
¾ tsp sea salt, plus a pinch for the icing
95g cocoa powder
240ml boiling water
240ml cold natural yoghurt
225g unsalted butter
120ml vegetable oil
400g caster sugar
1 ¼ tsp baking powder
¾ tsp baking soda
140ml thickened cream
60g smooth peanut butter
60g icing sugar
pinch of sea salt
55g dark chocolate

Method
First in a stand mixer, cream 180g of the peanut butter with the cream cheese and muscovado sugar using a paddle attachment on medium speed for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Egg one of the eggs and a teaspoon of the vanilla, and mix until fully incorporated. Reduce to low and gently add three tablespoons of flour and ¼ teaspoon of salt and mix until just combined. Transfer to a bowl while you work on the chocolate cake.

Speaking of which, preheat the oven to 170C. Lightly butter a bundt tin and dust with cocoa to fully coat.

Pop the 95g of cocoa in a small bowl and whisk in the boiling water to form a nice, chocolatey slurry before adding the yoghurt and whisking to combine. Leave to rest.

Meanwhile combine the butter, oil and caster sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and cream with a paddle attachment on medium for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Reduce to medium and add the remaining four eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together after each addition, before adding the remaining vanilla. Whisk the remaining flour in a bowl with the baking powder, soda and salt. Reduce the mixer to low and slowly add a third of the flour until it is all combined. Add half the cocoa-yoghurt, and once it is combined, follow with a third of the flour, followed by the remaining wet ingredients and then the remaining flour until the batter comes together.

Pour about two-thirds of the chocolate batter into the lined bundt, spreading to form an even layer, before carving a little moat in the middle of the ring. Spoon in the peanut butter batter, before covering with the remaining chocolate batter, once again smoothing the top. Pop the bundt on a lined baking sheet and pop it in the oven to bake for 60-75 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rake to cool in the pan for ten minutes, before flipping and allowing to cool completely.

While the cake chills, get to work on the glazes. First, heat 60ml of the cream in a small pot and combine the remaining peanut butter with the icing sugar and a pinch of salt in a small bowl. Once simmering, pour the cream into the peanut butter and stir until combined.

Repeat the process with the remaining cream, this time pouring it over the chocolate in a separate bowl and stirring until it is melted and combined.

To decorate, transfer the cake to a baking sheet and spoon half the chocolate glaze over the top, allowing it to drip down the sides. Follow with half the peanut butter glaze, before repeating the process, swirling the glazes with a spoon to make it nice and pretty.

Allow the glaze to set for half an hour before carving and devouring, solo. While it’s namesake flies away from the island with no context.


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Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes were given the options between enjoying a feast together or returning to their camps with a clue with the easiest to find immunity idol known to man. Knowing things were dire with no easy target, Ri, Mark and Eden opted for idols at Rebels, as Ri pipped the boys at the post and jagged it. While Alex grabbed the Titans one after Feras spotted it and left it for a few hours until Alex could figure it out. But hey, he was better than Aileen. While at the feast, Kelli was busy spilling all Kirby’s secrets to Kitty. After Rebels stormed away with immunity, the Titans all decided Kelli was too chaotic and needed to go, finally forcing Feras and Kirby to put down their weapons. Kirby though decided to keep things just that little bit messy, trying to spook the boys into playing their idols at the same time. Sadly for her, both of them held firm as Kelli was shown the door. But did it ruin relationships? Who knows.

The next day things were very chill at the Titans camp as Kirby slowly woke up and spoke about how gagged she was that Kelli was blindsided. Pointing out that it is potentially the biggest of the season. Alex, obvi, was thrilled his nemesis was gone, while Kirby and Feras were just happy to be on the same page, knowing they need each other for the next phase of the game. She was also grateful to have Valeria and Mark onside, thinking her relationship with V is the key to not just moving forward but making the end. Alex and Valeria caught up, with Alex keeping his cards close, though admitted Mark is definitely on the outs of the OG Titans, which was all she needed to hear to take over this week’s iconic Shonee revenge arc.

The skies opened up as JLP and the tribes came together by the beach where they were gagged to learn that they would be merging. Meaning the Middle Aged Mafia is about the go, no? Eden was thrilled to have made the merge, not just due to now being dateable, but also to rocket up his game. Mark was excited to see what happens, while Valeria ominously mentioned that things are about to get murky and people best keep their wits about them, lest they be blindsided.

Instead of sending everyone back to camp, JLP put them through their paces in the first individual reward challenge where they would stand on a thin bar and hold an upturned bow and balance a ball. With the victor winning $60K, a bed for the night and the title of spectator at the next tribal council where they can watch and vibe, knowing they are safe. Powerless, but safe. Caroline was the first out of the challenge before everyone moved down to narrower sections of the beam after 10 minutes. That claimed a few more scalps as Ray, Winna and Kirby all dropped in quick succession. After 20 minutes, they moved on to the narrowest section which led to Mark falling on the transition before Feras, Kitty, Jaden and Alex soon followed. Aileen was next to go, followed by Eden, who made the odd choice to squat. After 35 minutes, Ri dropped out of nowhere, finally followed by Scott, handing Valeria victory. Which tragically meant she wouldn’t be able to personally get her revenge tonight.

The merged tribe made their way back to camp, delighting in how beautiful Valeria’s bed looked. Scott meanwhile was feeling a little odd and emotional, worried about how the next phase will play out. And given he named the merged tribe Tasi, I am hoping he will thrive. He started to get to know some of the newbies, particularly vibing with Kitty. Ri and Kirby caught up by the fire, with Kirby telling her she will catch up with Scott before telling her any plans. While Caroline and Kitty were desperately whispering to Jaden that they need to keep the Titans together. Feras meanwhile was making lots of friends, which made Caroline nervous. As such, she pulled Alex, Ri and Kitty aside to try and lock in a majority, and while he sounds like he is interested, I think Alex is definitely non-committal.

Caroline then decided that she needed to catch up with Valeria and make sure she doesn’t realise that they orchestrated Viola’s downfall. She and Kitty lay it on thick, talking about how Mark doesn’t deserve to make it to the end and isn’t trustworthy, so they are glad to have her back on their side. And oh ladies, you’re screwed. Mark and Feras caught up to talk about plans, though instead of locking anything in, Mark wandered off to find Winna and Valeria to loop them in on what actually happened on the second Rebels tribe. With both of them living for his attempts at revenge, and looking forward to working together to achieve it. Eventually. Valeria then scrubbed up and made herself comfortable in her bed, offering to take people’s confession and all around living her best life. And yes, I love that for her.

The next day the tribe reconnected with JLP for the first individual immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a bar up using their legs, to keep a chute holding a ball upright. With the last one holding their ball jagging the win. Kirby was rather confident that wouldn’t be her, so opted to rest instead. She was followed out by Raymond, Kitty and Caroline, with the last two delighting the hell out of Valeria. Mark was shaking out as Kirby told Scott and Ri to just drop, given they aren’t at risk. And I feel like Scott isn’t loving this arrogance. Eden, Aileen and Rianna all dropped in quick succession, before Scott eventually followed. Feras then dropped out of nowhere, as everyone started to whisper about needing anyone but Alex to win, making me feel like we’ve missed some key scenes. After ten minutes, Mark finally put himself out of his misery by dropping, followed by Alex, as Jaden and Winna started doing crunches for fun. The duo were still battling after 20 minutes before Jaden dropped, given he didn’t like the look of the necklace and felt it would look good on Winna instead.

Back at camp everyone was feeling super nervous, unsure how things would play out at the first tribal council. The OG Titans were feeling quietly confident however, given Winna is immune and Valeria has safety without power. Ri joined them as they quickly locked in a split vote between Raymond and Feras, with Eden suggesting King Ray needs to be the one to go to weaken Feras. So bye Eden, I now hate you. They split up to lock in extra votes with Alex happy to do whatever as long as it isn’t him – swoon, just like Sandra! Mark and Ray caught up on the shore, while Eden continued to loop in OG Rebels, as Kirby and Feras watched on, laughing about how silly they were.

Ri and Valeria caught up with Kirby to tell her the plan, and while Ri thought it felt right, Kirby thankfully put her foot down. As such, Valeria threw out the possibility of blindsiding Kitty instead, given she is the most likely person from the Middle Aged Mafia to win immunity and ruin their future plans. The wind then got super intense, blowing an absolute gale and almost destroying the shelter. Scott meanwhile was struggling under the pressure, not wanting Kitty to go, given they had formed a bond. While also being super worried about Kirby growing too close to Valeria, and handing her the power instead of them. Sadly for the OG Rebels, he then told Kitty that the votes were actually coming for her, as Kirby watched on in shock. And promptly pulled him away for a walk to talk about life outside of the game.

The Titans started to panic, wondering where he heard that name and as such, decided to find out directly from him.They cornered poor Scott, along with Alex and Ri, before Scott eventually named Mark and Valeria as the source. Caroline and Kitty then angrily went to the shelter to confront them, getting rather hostile with them before Valeria eventually just decided to lay the blame with Feras. Which calmed them all down and lulled them into a false sense of security. Mark caught up with Eden and Ri, pointing out that Caroline and Kitty confronted him when he didn’t even do anything. Eden tried to broker peace, getting them to abandon the split vote and instead load their votes on Raymond. Before telling Alex to vote with them and play his idol for Kitty, because ok Eden, sure. That will happen. Caroline then yelled at Valeria for wearing Nathan’s jacket, given she had claimed it and damn, the old gals are spiralling.

At tribal council Valeria took her place on the jury bench as Winna spoke about how grateful he is to have immunity, given the camp was super chaotic all afternoon, with multiple plans and agendas. Suggesting others should have tried harder in the challenge. Raymond spoke about feeling like he knows what is happening, though is also sure he is missing out on a lot of things. Alex spoke about how the sheer size of the tribe made coming up with a plan all the more difficult. Eden mentioned that the first merge tribal council is one of the biggest, given it draws the line in the sand and sets the agenda moving forward. Caroline agreed it would help clarify where everyone stands, as Kitty mentioned that her name came out there. Talking about how people underestimate her, but she is actually smart and successful and as such, if she is still in the tribe tomorrow, she will be gunning for the person that threw her name out. Which is more incentive to get rid of her, TBH.

Kitty grew more and more fired up, as Scott spoke about how his innate empathy is really making the game really hard right now. And while making the merge is a dream come true, he has been struggling with his mental health and as such, wants to quit, to let the people wanting to stick around and fight have that shot. He opened up about how he has always been an optimist, despite his mental health, and in the game, he hasn’t exactly had a reprieve. At all. Kirby spoke about how she has noticed how Scott has started to struggle and she supports whatever he needs. Eden spoke about how proud of him he is, for doing what is right for him. Alex started to cry, Caroline told him how brave he is before he sadly stood up, grabbed his torch and headed out.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and then promptly broke down in his arms. Scott was such a delight to have on this season, and while I support him leaving to look after himself, I am equally heartbroken to not see a fellow queer person thrive. And ideally win, because trust, he has all the skills to make it to the end. After reminding him of all those things, I reiterated that I am so proud of him before pulling him in for a final hug as we joyfully smashed a warm Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler.

This dish combines two of my favourite, warming things – potato and cream. And hot damn, is it good. Earthy, rich and packing a hidden punch, this quick and easy meal (assuming the gnocchi is already set) still feels decadent. Which is always iconic, no?

Enjoy!

Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g gnocchi
3 tablespoon unsalted butter
2 cups mushrooms, thinly sliced
4 shallots, minced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp rosemary, roughly chopped
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 cup chicken stock
1 tablespoon wholegrain mustard
1 cup thickened cream
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil, and once rollicking, cook the gnocchi per packed instructions.

Pop the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and once foamy, add the mushrooms. Cook, stirring, for 10 minutes or so, or until they are browned and all their liquid has been reabsorbed. Add the shallots and cook for a further few minutes, before stirring in the garlic, rosemary and chilli and cooking off for a minute.

Stirring all the time, slowly pour in the stock, followed by the cream and then the parmesan. Cook, stirring frequently until the sauce comes together. Season to taste and stir in the gnocchi.

Before stirring and devouring.


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Brando Meyer Lemon & Blueberry Donut

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor, after three long, losing weeks, the last Lulu’s caught a break as two of them were guaranteed to avoid the next tribal council. Because, yes, for the first time in the new era, Jeffrey switched up the tribes. And fate opted to keep things spicy for them, splitting them out across the new tribes. Emily got lucky as the swing vote between Austin and Drew, and Kendra and Brando on the new Belo. Kaleb meanwhile was stuck with the rest of the Belos on Lulu, leaving Sean with the rest of Reba on new Reba. After they lost the immunity challenge, the girls were ready to loop Sean in to blindside Sifu however at tribal council, Sean delivered the ultimate blindside by engineering a quit and bouncing out of the game. While Dee, for reasons, still voted for Sifu.

Back at camp Sifu was, in a word, pissed. Reba sat around the fire in silence until he admitted it was a massive surprise to see his name come up and while the girls didn’t want to talk about it, they eventually tried to pass it off as Sean’s vote. Sadly for them, Sean’s parting gift was to tell Sifu he did not vote for him and just like that, he cursed our queens to a rocky road to merge. Which is very un-queer of him, as us gay men should all be stanning this trio as our potential final three.

The next day we checked in with Belo where everyone was hungry, lethargic and talking about the food they would love to be snacking on. Instead of chocolate, chilli, chicken and peanut butter, Kendra found a worm and despite feeling torn – as a Libra – tried to eat it for some protein. Instead she choked on it and spat it out. Drew meanwhile was living for her energy, given she is silly, charming and keeping their spirits up.

Over at Lulu, Jake tried to keep spirits up by playing his gut as a bongo. Sadly, though, when he stood up he passed out again and ugh, this is not fun to watch. Jake meanwhile was frustrated that it kept happening and feared he would get pulled from the game. Thankfully Kellie assured him it is just that he is standing up too fast when they are starving and seeing her kindness was lovely. As was Jake opening up about overcoming an eating disorder to be here and ugh, I guess I now love Jake?

After perking up, Jake and Kaleb went for a wander to get water, Kellie and Bruce disappeared, leaving Katurah by herself. And like any worthy survivor, she immediately went hunting for idols. Sadly for her, everyone returned to camp at the same time and spotted her, and while she tried to downplay it, everyone decided she was too much of a risk to take any further. Except for Kaleb, who continues to be an icon. Though given he is aligned with everyone but Kellie, maybe Katurah isn’t as safe as I’d like. Knowing Kellie was the key to lasting longer, Kaleb approached her about forming a tight alliance. And yeah, I love him.

Back at Reba the girls were still angry, rightfully, about Sean outing them to Sifu, wishing he had just had the backbone to quit, rather than making them go through the process. We then got a beautiful moment from Dee, who opened up about her family immigrating from Cuba and I’m not sure if it is just me, but this is a winner’s edit. But back to the Sifu of it all, as the women are right to be pissed at Sean, as Sifu opened up about being a volcano ready to explode. And that he will use a fake idol he fashioned to spook the women into keeping him safe. He then caught up with Julie and J, teaching them about tai chi and pushing people, and yeah, he is an-gry.

Returning to Belo, Kendra continued to burp and entertain the people, except for Brando, who felt like out of the people on OG Belo, she was the one he had the least in common with. Thankfully for him, he found a fellow nerd in the form of Drew. After bonding over pokemon, Brando floated the idea of a nerd alliance, however Drew continued to be an icon, and told him it just doesn’t feel like a good idea, given Belo have the upper hand. Reading that as the threat it was, Brando went to bond with Kendra and the duo agreed the focus needed to be on aligning with Emily. Sadly for them, Emily had already been courted by the Rebas and TBH, I love this power position for her.

Back at Lulu, Katurah was delighting in Bruce continuing to Bruce, given he is making himself a target. Well, at least in her eyes. Luckily for her, as my fave, he was too much and everyone started to join her in rolling their eyes. Though Kaleb for one is playing it smart, trying to keep him close so that when he makes a move against him, Bruce does not see it coming.

Over at Reba, J told the girls they need to downplay their closeness, offering to go to Sifu and admit that she was the one to cast a vote against him. So that they lull him into a false sense of security, and then strike. Sadly for J, though, Dee decided that maybe it is just easier to vote J instead when they go back to tribal council. Once again though, Julie cautioned it wasn’t a great idea.

The tribes finally caught up with Jeffrey for immunity where they would race through an obstacle course to collect keys, unlock a hook and use it to collect sandbags and then shoot said sandbags and targets with the first two to knock them out jagging immunity. And a glorious or basic seafood basket. Kaleb got Lulu out to an early lead with Kendra and Sifu nipping at his heels. J closed the gap for Reba and got them out in front before Bruce snatched it back for Lulu. Julie then found the right key on her first go, allowing her to release the sandbags well ahead of the other tribes as J was first to take out a target. Lulu joined in the fun as Dee knocked out Reba’s second target. Lulu knocked out their first target before Sifu snatched immunity for Reba as Katurah took out Lulu’s second target and Kaleb their third, handing Lulu immunity and sending Belo to tribal council.

Oh and this week, there would also be a little journey and since Reba won, they got to decide who would go. J won the rock off for Reba, before sending Kellie to make up for missing out on competing and then Austin, given he may be able to give them information in the game. Much to his frustration.

Back at camp Kendra was in her feels, nervous about potentially going home. The group then opted to take a respectful approach to scrambling, so paired off one at a time to pitch their cases, with Brando and Kendra keen to target Drew with Emily, while Brando tried to convince Drew that he would hand over his Shot in the Dark if he would cast his vote for Kendra, rather than him. Sadly it all started to fall apart for Brando when Emily and Drew caught up and they compared notes, and while Brando tried to throw Drew under the bus when he caught up with Emily, I still feel like Emily is more likely to stick with Reba. 

Over at Journey Island, the trio were delighted to bond as they hiked up the mountain before they came to the pinnacle to discover their choice: sandwiches or an amulet each, which they would need to work together to use. A single amulet being an idol, two a steal a vote and all three would act as an extra vote. Austin was hungry, and knew the amulets were kinda shit as it just paints a target on his back, so voted for sandwiches, while J was firm in wanting an amulet. Forcing Kellie to break the tie, ultimately siding with J as the trio locked in an alliance to work together until the top seven. Whether Austin was interested or not, who secretly wants to get rid of them ASAP.

Returning to Belo, Emily and Drew caught up about the Kendra vote with Drew firm that it was never his idea. Emily, like an icon, told him that she doesn’t actually trust that is the truth, and while he tried to assure her that he is innocent, I’m not sure it is enough. Austin returned and bitched about missing out on sandwiches, though pretend they had to do a challenge to get an advantage. And failed. After Austin filled Drew in on the truth, Drew shared that the OG Belos are coming for him. Austin and Emily caught up, with Austin quickly assuring her that Drew is not lying to her. Particularly after he shared his newest advantage with her, highlighting that he and Drew are trusting and open with her in general.

At tribal council Brando spoke about how excited he was to finally be at tribal council, despite what it symbolises. Emily spoke about being numb to it at this point, ready for a break. Brando spoke about how powerful he thinks new Belo can be, given they’re the only tribe with connections across each of the original tribes. Drew tried to point out that more relationships mean he can’t trust he has a place in everyone’s games, while Kendra admitted she just worried about where the truth was in all of their actions. Giving off big Drew Barrymore energy in the process. Emily spoke about the importance of just surviving each and every vote – like Sandy D – while Austin admitted strength isn’t important to him, just loyalty. Which Drew agreed with, given the merge is imminent and that is where the battle would become a problem. Emily meanwhile ran the numbers and wanted to figure out the best strategy to take her to the end game.

With that, the tribe voted – Austin sacrificing and reinstating his vote to extend the life of his idol to the merge – before Emily opted to stick with the Rebas as Brando was booted from the game. As he arrived at Loser Lodge I pulled him in for a hug and told him to hold his head up high. I mean, nerd on nerd crime is hard to take (as is all intra-community trauma) but Drew has proven to be quite the enigma, giving dude bro and nerd as needed. And while that isn’t the most reassuring thing for Brando to hear, smashing a Brando Meyer Lemon & Blueberry Donut sure worked.

While you don’t technically need to use a Meyer lemon, they do have a nice sweetness to cut through the tart blueberry. But TBH, who really cares if it is a little tart when it comes in the form of a donut.

Enjoy! 

Brando Meyer Lemon & Blueberry Donut
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
1 batch Tate Doughnutvans
1 cup raw caster sugar
200g cream cheese
½ cup Lemon Kurd Cobain (specifically meyer lemon, but no judgement)
¼ cup Blueberry Jam Hugh

Method
Cook the donuts per Tate’s recipe and once they have cooled slightly, toss through the sugar to coat.

Pop the cream cheese and curd in a stand mixer and beat with a paddle attachment until well combined.

Pipe each donut with the lemon mixture, leaving a dollop on top. Pop a little spoon of blueberry jam on top. And then, devour.


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Golden Sarup & Wadamom Dumplings

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the three tribes were well and truly settling into island life. Despite being left out of the Helen vote, Sarah was assured by her fellow Tikans they are a solid four and will stick together to the end. Though she was still concerned about what would happen should they return to tribal council. After a bunch of shenanigans with cages, keys and fake idols, the tribes came together for the latest immunity challenge where you know Claire sat out once again. Sadly for her, however, it made her a target once Soka lost immunity and everyone realised she was disposable. While Frannie and Heidi tried to sway their respective partners to target Josh instead, the terrible timeline continued as we lost yet another iconic woman to the pre-merge.

The next day the new Soka tribe did a little sunrise meditation session to work through losing Claire. Not that Josh really needed it though, given he was firmly the swing vote between two pairs within the tribe. Sadly though, that wasn’t how things actually were with the two pairs actually keen to work together to take him out and go into the merge as two powerful duos. We ventured to Tika where the foursome were wandering around the jungle and discovered a new X made of sticks added to the cage, with everyone speculating what it could mean. We then learnt Carolyn is playing 5D chess, hiding the X on the cage and marking an X over where she hid the fake idol to trick someone into finding it. And ugh, I love her so much. The group went back to camp speculating what the X could mean as Sarah discovered Carolyn’s fake idol without anyone noticing. Even Carolyn, though she was grateful somebody found it.

The tribes met with Probst for the first reward challenge of the season where they would race up a ladder, over a cargo net and then shoot sandbags at a target. The trick being that every person on the tribe each needs to hit one of the targets in order to take the win. That being for either a massive or decent tarp, in addition to assigning which person from each tribe goes on the next journey. Danny got Soka out to the lead, followed by Carson for Tika while Brandon eventually connected to keep Ratu in it. Soka continued to power ahead as Ratu overtook Tika as Carolyn struggled to make the shot. Ultimately Soka took out victory before Carolyn finally connected leaving Tika and Ratu to battle for second with Ratu taking it out before Yam Yam even got a chance to toss his sack.

With the challenge out of the way things got interesting as Soka sent Josh, Carson and Jaime on their journey where they bonded as they trekked up a mountain. When they reached the pinnacle, they split up and made their way to a table where they were each given a hidden immunity idol to use up to the merge. The catch being they will not be going home to their tribes, instead pulling out a new buff with Josh joining Tika, Jaime going to Soka and Carson heading over to Ratu. Josh was first to meet his new tribe as Yam Yam, Carolyn and Sarah were gagged to have a new member. Despite welcoming him with open arms, Yam Yam was heartbroken to have lost Carson given they had become so close. The OG Tika’s tried to get to know Josh with Sarah thinking he was a surgeon, though he promptly lied about it and said he was a personal trainer. Sadly for him, Yam Yam could see right through his lie and he and Sarah secretly picked apart his timeline and confirmed they couldn’t trust him.

Over at Ratu Carson was regaling the new tribe with the journey that brought him here and while I love Carson, the fact that his first move to ingratiate himself was to throw Yam Yam under the bus as the leader breaks my heart. Sad to have lost his closest ally, Matthew pulled Carson aside to fill him in on what has been going on within the tribe to try and build trust. And while he left out the fact Jamie’s idol is fake, I love how hard he is playing. Soka were equally gagged to see Jaime arriving at their camp and while I would assume she is completely screwed, she is so kind and upbeat, I don’t see them wanting to get rid of her too easily. The OG Soka’s were concerned about her having an idol and spoiling their plans, so Danny got to work looking through her things though decided she was all good. Despite the fact she has one real and one fake idol.

The new tribes reconvened with Jeffrey for the latest immunity challenge where they would dive into the ocean one at a time, climb a tower and leap off to grab a key before swimming to a balance beam and walking over it. Once the four keys were collected, they would unlock puzzle pieces and solve said puzzle. Because, duh. Josh got Tika out to an early lead until Brandon powered across the balance beam and snatched the lead. While Danny was left right out. Lauren missed her key, meaning Brandon had to double back to collect one, given Soka and Tika time to close the gap. Well, Soka at least, as Yam Yam got stuck on the balance beam. Heidi and Matt got to work on the puzzle for Soka as Kane and Carolyn raced to make it to the end of the course, before Kane started struggling on the beam. Once Soka confirmed their win, Ratu and Tika powered through their puzzle before Lauren and Carson pulled ahead, securing immunity for Ratu and sending Tika back to tribal council. Just.

Back at camp the tribe were dejected by the loss, with Yam Yam disappointed but ok, given Josh is a super easy target as the newbie. Sadly Yam Yam told Carolyn she would be the decoy vote and while she said she was ok at the moment, she was super annoyed by it and sick of being told to accept being the secondary target. Yam Yam and Sarah pulled Josh aside to loop in him, assuring him that they desperately want to work with him and get rid of Carolyn. Though Sarah admitted she was a little concerned about him having an idol and assured us that should he play one, she will be playing hers. Josh then went to Carolyn and straight up told her that not only is she their target, but that he has an idol and would play it on her while they put their votes on Sarah and get her out of the game. Giving Carolyn the choice to send Josh out of the game or tell him where to actually play the idol and blindside Sarah.

At tribal council Josh spoke about how shocked he was to have been swapped to the new tribe and while he was an easy target, Sarah and Yam Yam spoke about how keeping him around could help build an alliance with his friends in Soka. Yam Yam spoke about how he may not feel like he is friends with his OGs anymore, which upset Carolyn given it felt like he was over her and wanted her out. As they started to fight, Josh admitted he was living for the chaos, though knew that the fight could all be a cover to make him feel safe. Carolyn felt that her loyalty was being ignored, as Sarah and Yam Yam spoke about aligning with Soka meaning Carolyn was clearly the target. If it isn’t an act. With that the tribe voted and Josh played his idol on himself while Sarah and Carolyn held onto theirs – whether Sarah’s was real or not doesn’t matter here, TBH – before Carolyn and Josh’s votes sent Sarah from the game. To Yam Yam’s shock and horror.

As often happens, Sarah found her way to Loser Lodge by following my tears of rage. This time due to having lost yet another iconic woman pre-merge. I mean, in the words of Taylor Armstrong – enough. I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her that the small starting tribes seem to have run their course, given time and time again, women and minorities are going out with just a few votes for no other reason than there aren’t enough people around to strategise with (or vote out). Add in a sea of advantages and well, refer back to Taylor ok? That being said, the new era has given us plenty of icons for another Second Chances season and that is enough to celebrate with a big batch of Golden Sarup & Wadamom Dumplings.

These fluffy dumplings are the perfect, soothing dish to warm your soul. Sticky and sweet with a beautifully spiced kick, they melt in your mouth and take away the pain of yet another season of femicide (thank f- Liz overcame this trend).

Enjoy!

Golden Sarup & Wadamom Dumplings
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
100g butter, diced
1 ⅓ cups muscovado sugar
¼ cup golden syrup
1 ⅓ cups flour
1 ½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cardamom
¼ tsp cinnamon
⅔ cup milk
Vanilla Ice Cream, to serve

Method
Place 60g butter, 1 ¼ cups of muscovado sugar and the golden syrup in a large frying pan with 2 cups cold water and cook over a low heat for about 5 minutes, or until the sugar has dissolved. Crank the heat up to medium and bring to the boil, and cook for a few minutes until it reduces before removing from the heat.

Combine the flour, cardamom, cinnamon and butter in a bowl and, using your fingers, rub the butter through until it resembles wet sand before stirring through the remaining muscovado. Make a well in the centre, pour in the milk and stir with a wooden spoon until it comes together as a wet dough.

Return the caramel to a medium heat and carefully drop in a few tablespoons of batter at a time, leaving a little bit of space to allow them to puff up as they cook. Cover with a lid or some foil, reduce to low and simmer for 15 minutes, or until they are cooked through.

Serve immediately with a generous coating of the caramel and a hearty dollop of ice cream.


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Benjamin Crullaw

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, Shonee and George were living it up at the top of the new Heroes, accepting meetings with all the plebs who were begging for mercy. Meanwhile at the Villains, Simon won over the OG Heroes with his non-idol leaving Liz and Jordie on the outs. As such, at the immunity challenge, Shonee handed her idol over to Jordie while Shaun gave Simon’s non-idol to Flick to cause chaos in the Heroes tribe. After Liz also found an idol, she and Jordie used them to bluff the Heroes into turning on their own. However they were sadly just as played, as the Heroes made a last minute switch at tribal council to tie things up between Jordie and the presumed target, mateship king Sam. And when Jordie and Liz held onto their idols, Jordie was blindsided from the game. Breaking my heart in the process.

While the Villains tribal was busy being chaotic, at the Heroes camp Stevie was looking to the stars alongside Flick and Matt, who were quietly working him to float the idea of working with the Heroes. And by that, they straight up told him that they were given information at the immunity challenge that Simon still wants to work with him and should he survive tribal council, it is a sign that they should band together to take control over here. Which is great, but can we also remember that he (and Simon) will easily be on the bottom of the Heroes when the threats are gone and as such, it is just a bad idea all round for them. Though it is Simon and Stevie, so it tracks.

The next day, Liz was feeling even worse about her situation back at camp. Despite Liz being the only person outside the alliance, it was Simon who spent the day breaking down in tears about missing Jordie, who he played a critical role in voting out. The white heterosexual males all appeared to be struggling, with Sam taking the last tribal council as a sign that the Heroes aren’t as loyal as he would like and as such, he only felt like he could trust David. Knowing Sam was feeling shitty about what happened, Nina also took it as a wake-up call and knew that she needed to bring Jordie and Liz’s energy with the idols if she wants to follow in her mother’s footsteps and take out the win.

After clearing the air with Sam and vowing to be a tight three with him and David, Nina realised they need one other person to take out the majority. And since she has an idol and some tight allies on the other side that could set them up at the merge, she set her sights on Queen Liz and ugh, I love to see it. After the girls talked shit about Simon, Liz went to catch up with Sam. Right on cue Simon asked to join the conversation with Liz being an icon, telling him to let them talk and they can have one next. Or something. While Sam straight up told her that he wants to work with her and oh my God, do I like Sam now? I guess I do and you’ll just have to accept I am fickle and love to change my mind.

Back at the Heroes, the tribe were celebrating Stevie doubling the number of days played from his first season. Flick meanwhile was more celebratory about her non-idol, as she and Matt decided to chat to Ben about how to take control. Though obviously left the existence of said idol out of the discussion, which is a problem, given he is one of the only people that knows it is not one. But no, no, Flick can’t trust Ben – who has been nothing but loyal – and would rather hold out hope that Stevie may, just may, change. As Flick and Shonee bonded in the hammock, George grew worried about her social game and as such, suggested to Gerry and Stevie that they throw the challenge to get rid of Flick and keep themselves in control of the tribe. And Flick girl, you in danger.

The tribes joined with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where Shonee was heartbroken to learn her idol exited along with her ally. While George was so ropeable that he called it a declaration of war from the OG Heroes and reminded them that he has two hostages that he is willing to get rid of. Liz and Shonee once again whispered like icons, with Liz outing Simon for ditching them and shared that Simon handed his non-idol over to Matt and Flick to use to blindside George. But back to the challenge. The tribes would transport massive blocks through a series of obstacles before using them to form a staircase and ascend a tower. So yeah, this is built for the new Villains tribe whether George was planning to throw it or not.

While the Villains clearly had the advantage, George and Shonee still obviously chose to throw it, doing the absolute bare minimum and well, I love that for them. Hayley meanwhile bitched about them throwing it as the Villains powered ahead, reminding us that this surely was a challenge the Villains were going to win anyway, so can you really get mad at the icons? Once again Liz stepped away from her tribe to chat to George and Shonee, outing Simon for working with Shaun and Hayley specifically, but assuring them that she has an idol and to not worry about her. Despite the fact the rest of their tribe were throwing it, Ben, Flick and Matt desperately tried to close the gap, somehow leading to the Villains only narrowly managing to take out immunity. As Simon desperately tried to gesture to Stevie about destiny before wishing the tribe luck at tribal council.

Back at camp Matt was ropable about the fact George and Shonee threw the challenge and as such, was even more fired up to woo Stevie to their side. He tried to downplay the rage though, pointing out that the Villains appeared to have a wild one the last night, speculating about Simon playing an idol. With George, ever the icon, telling him it didn’t happen because he gave the idol to Flick. With her awkwardly having no way to deny it, so instead pointing out that she will be happy to show George the idol tonight at tribal council.

Flick, Matt and Ben went for a walk to get water, asking Stevie if he would like to come with them and while he did, George wisely asked him to stay with them. As the Villains and Gerry tried to decide who to load their votes on, Gerry pointed out that the Heroes don’t care for Ben and as such, he is the safest bet to vote for given they will not play an idol for him. As the Heroes were by the well, Flick came clean to Ben about the idol, hoping to leverage it to convince him that now is the time to blindside George. While back at the shelter, Gerry was about to have an aneurysm trying to explain the plan to Stevie – and the fact four people can’t split six votes – as Shonee quietly told him to breathe and just keep focused.

As the two factions came back together, Stevie went for a walk with Flick, Matt and Ben to lock in the plan to blindside George due to his threat level. While George, Gerry and Shonee grew more and more frustrated that Stevie was wandering around camp and potentially outing all of their plans. After Stevie left the Heroes, they realised they needed to come up with a back-up, so if Stevie isn’t with them, they would play the idol and put their votes on the most likely to not have one in the other alliance, Gerry. But if Stevie is in, they will take the shot on George. Stevie rejoined the Spice Girls alliance and once again floated the idea of splitting the vote as each of them reminded him that there are not enough people and to do that. Unless Shonee can pull in a crab, that is.

Knowing Stevie was too much of a liability, George opted to appeal to Flick and asked her what she thinks the merge will look like when it is just the Heroes left. Which obviously led to him pointing out it may be better to work together to take control now and set up an easier path to the end. And while they agreed finding a compromise could be for the best, we didn’t learn what that compromise could be. Only if Flick proves willing to work with George, they will have a truce and if not, she will be the next one out.

At tribal council George explained that at the challenge he declared war on all the Heroes and as such, the OGs best have come prepared. Flick was obviously nervous, though admitted that given she has experience with George, she knows to take his grandiose statements in her stride. She spoke about everyone chatting with their allies at the challenge, as Shonee lol’ed about how obvious she is, while Stevie focused about just playing it straight tonight and going with the flow to make it to the merge. Ben admitted that he feels in trouble though that everyone really should be feeling that way, with George agreeing they really should, given Flick has an idol and is definitely planning to play it. Flick confirmed its existence and that if she guesses the right person to play it on, she and her allies should be sitting pretty. Though let’s just say, Matt is not feeling so confident about it. 

Flick admitted she knows she could be the one going home tonight if she makes a mistake and while George shared that he fears going out due to an idol, he would just rather work with Flick and go to the end together. Again. George then straight up offered to go have a chat in the corner and cut a deal, with Shonee and Stevie agreeing it makes sense for her to play it smart. George told Flick she should burn her idol to prove loyalty which she obviously opted against, given it puts her at way too much risk and as such, no deal was reached between the rivals. With that the tribe finally voted and Flick played what she thought was an idol for Matt as Ben looked on in disgust knowing it wasn’t one. After Jonathan confirmed it, he got to tallying the votes with three votes piling up on Gerry, followed by four on Ben, which were enough to tragically send my actual hero out of the game.

Like Jordie just yesterday, Ben found his way to Loser Lodge by following my enraged screams. I mean, first we could have lost Sam yesterday and TBH we could have lost Matt today as the only straight male that wasn’t working with Shonee. Instead, we lost my gracious inspiration, who forgave my years of stalking in desperation of gaining his talent by osmosis and came to Australian Survivor ready to play with charm, kindness and a little bit of drama (RIP, Sharni). Instead, he was cast out from the alphas – let’s just take a pause to read into that however you want – and never really got his footing in the game.

I pulled him in for a massive hug and told him how heartbroken I was that he couldn’t win over Shonee and join the Villains to control the game post-merge. Because if there is one thing we can tell from watching thus far, it is that the Spice Girls are unmatched at this point and the alphas will soon be in trouble. In what I like to think is revenge for the way they treated the man that gave us the name Meat Tray alliance. Oh the other thing I am concerned about – though wisely didn’t tell Ben – is that doughnuts, like pizza, are a cursed food for reality contestants since Jordie’s were followed by a piping hot Benjamin Crullaw. So I think I may have cursed his chances, which just fucking sucks TBH.

These fancier cousins of doughnuts are the perfect way to honour my personal hero. Particularly since he kindly dropped the stalking charges to allow me to provide culinary comfort for the broader cast. Crunchy on the outside, light and fluffy on the inside, with a heavy coating of cinnamon sugar? Like any time I spend with Ben, I am in heaven.

Enjoy!

Benjamin Crullaw
Serves: 2 amazingly talented Ben’s who are destined for best friendship. Forever.

Ingredients
100g butter, cubed
250ml water
170g flour
3 eggs
sunflower oil, for frying
1 cup raw caster sugar
¼ cup ground cinnamon

Method
Combine butter and water in a large saucepan and bring to the boil. Once the butter has melted, add the flour and beat aggressively with a wooden spoon for a couple of minutes – this is like making profiteroles, ok? – or until it starts to come away from the sides.

Remove mixture from the heat and transfer to a stand mixture. Using a paddle attachment, beat the dough on medium, adding the eggs one at a time, waiting until the mixture has completely come together before adding the next egg. Spoon mixture into a piping bag with a 12mm star nozzle and pipe the dough into 8cm rings onto a lined baking sheet, pressing together at the ends to join.

While they rest a little, place about 10cm of oil in a large, deep saucepan and heat to 175C and combine the cinnamon and sugar in a bowl. Once at temperature, carefully add a couple of doughnuts and cook, turning a couple of times, for about 10 minutes, or until golden and browned. Remove and drain on a paper towel for a minute or so before tossing in the cinnamon sugar.

Repeat the process and then devour, like the besties you are.


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Sugared Nuts

RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with selling us on their own versions of heaven in a trio of afterlife infomercials. Sasha rightly leant into the fact she is essentially already a god, snapping her neck to the best ‘mercial of the week. Loosey got redemption from week one as she slayed as God-Dolly, while at the other end of the pack Princess Poppy was read for being basic and poor Amethyst just wasn’t funny. Despite selling herself as a comedy queen. Ultimately neck-snapping earned Sasha the win, while Amethyst found herself in another lip sync – to Di Ross, no less – as she did everything right to earn her safety, tragically sending Princess out of the competition. As she exited, flipping everyone the bird, accompanied by a burp.

Backstage the dolls were delighted to see Princess Poppy’s meaningful mirror message – aka scribble – while Salina joked about being shocked Amethyst survived. As they sat down the dolls checked in on Sugar who admitted she was shocked to not vibe with the girls in her group and be clocked by her sisters before talk turned to Sasha’s epic win. Which was only celebrated for a second before Luxx and Loosey argued about who was second. Which was obviously Loosey, but whatever I live for the delusion and confidence Luxx displays as it is iconic.

The next day Spice continued to lean into her new mother’s shade, checking if Amethyst was into baseball because if she is, she best be aware of the three strike rule. Ru then dropped by – short episodes, remember – to announce that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. And given there are so many of them, they will be split in half to compete in two rounds. Ru exited as the dolls split up to talk through their characters with Marcia Cubed going with Tim Gunn, Loosey pivoting from Dolly to Joan Rivers, Spice is going with my bestie Miley while Sugar is doing the iconic Trisha Paytas. Aura is doing Bretman Rock, Mistress is doing Rosie, Malaysia is doing Spicy Santana while Salina is doing the Virgin Mary.

We ventured to set where Bruno and Calex from the Pit Crew took their place at the Snatch chairs – flashing their snatch, no less – where Marcia slayed as Tim, Luxx was cute as Amanda Lepore, Malaysia was fun as Saucy, Mistress was a classic as Rosie, Anetra did Gorden Ramsey’s fake-sister, Robin gave the Grand Dame – as she deserved – before Salina slayed the game as Virgin Mary. Most importantly, Bruno proved he was more than his package, giving jokes. But when it comes to the contestants it was Marcia’s show, who was pitch perfect as sweet Tim while Mistress spat joke after joke as Rosie, despite not really sounding like her.

Bruno and Calex traded out with Bryce and Asaf, who is just, swoon. Loosey was perfection from start to finish as Joan, Sasha was a glorious Jan Crouch, Jax was the stupidest Mona Lisa, Sugar was all energy as Trisha, Amethyst was hilarious as Tan Mom, Spice gave Miley’s voice while Aura may or may not have been good as Bretman, I don’t know. But she was sadly devoid of jokes. More so than Marcia in the first panel, Loosey was perfection. Like, could compete with Jinkx, DeLa and Ginger Minj, good. At the other end of the pack, Aura was boring and the poor twins struggled to get any traction or went off on tangents, and there was no in between. While Amethyst got some redemption after last week and who knew Sasha had this many jokes?

Elimination Day arrived with Loosey and Anetra talking about their coming out journeys, with the former opening up about being post-school and how despite still living in the town she grew up in, she is more confident. She then spoke about being bullied and how teachers even joined in but she found comedy and used it to protect herself and make friends. Oh and ideally weaponised it.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Hunger Games icon Amandla Stenberg as the dolls stomped the Beautiful Nightmare runway. Marcia served in a pastel dental monster, Luxx dragged a brick giving sexy drowning victim, Malaysia was a sexy dead showgirl, Mistress was a gothic spider queen, Anetra gave sexy redback, Salina gave sexy zombie, Robin was a glam, ballerina spider, Loosey gave slutty Mrs Voorhees the second – aka Jason’s wife – Sasha was a sexy tree witch, Jax served snake snack, Sugar was a creepy porcelain doll, Spice was a murder porcelain doll while Amethyst gave Gaga getting stabbed on stage and bleeding out while Aura was glam as she bled out from an exposed back allusion.

Luxx, Malaysia, Anetra, Robin, Salina, Sasha, Jax and Amethyst were sent to safety as Marcia received universal praise for her Tim Gunn and while Michelle loved her giving more make-up, Ru wanted her to give draggier looks. Mistress received praise for the runway and for bringing fun to Snatch Game while Loosey rightly was named one of the best Snatches of all time and praised for looking perfect on the runway. Sugar meanwhile was read for being disruptive on the panel, while Spice was read for giving chaos only and despite having a stunning runway, Aura’s Snatch Game was read for being rigid and directionless.

Backstage Amethyst was far and away the happiest to be safe, finally ending her string of bottoms while Jax was desperate for another dance challenge to get back to the top. Amethyst then suggested the producers will be pulling the trigger on the Sugar and Spice lip sync, before the girls talked about the importance of getting the vibe and flow of Snatch Game right. Malaysia started to break down, shocked to have not been in the bottom and desperate to end her string of safety. The tops and bottoms joined the dolls with Mistress acting as the spokesperson, praising Loosey for being perfection while sharing that she and Marcia were also in the top. After Marcia suggested she was in second place, Mistress obviously took issue leading to a fight between the dolls. Because apparently being second place is now very important.

Focused turned to the bottoms with Aura expecting to be lip syncing while Sugar and Spice felt like they would be going in together as the judges have had enough of them. They then threatened to exit together should one be eliminated, leading to their sisters desperately trying to talk them out of it and get them to see they could flourish solo. Sugar then spoke about how they have experienced a lot of trauma growing up and how the exclusion made them even closer. As Spice exited in tears, Sugar opened up about how they were pushed out of their family leading to the dolls rallying around the twins and assuring them they are loved and have a family in them. Meanwhile Amethyst and Robin were looking after Spice and desperately assuring her that they will look after her if she is the one to stay.

Oh and then poor Amandla entered the super emotional Werk Room and praised the dolls for being stars and ugh, she is so damn sweet.

Obviously Loosey took out victory as Marcia and Mistress were sent to safety before Aura narrowly joined them, giving us what the producers wanted as soon as they were cast – a twins only lip sync. Once Pat Benetar’s You Better Run kicked off it was clear the dolls came prepared with duo choreography for every song as they gave matching moves and complimentary gags and while both were silly, entertaining and hit every lyric, Sugar‘s choreography was all about falling over and as such, she tragically found herself falling out of the competition. See what I did there?

Backstage I pulled sweet Sugar – no pun intended, surprisingly – for a massive hug and assured her that she should be nothing but proud of herself. While she was obviously disappointed to be out so soon, I reminded her that her placement in the show isn’t a reflection of her talent and TBH, she will always be remembered as one half of the twins. And as she went home early, she will likely become a robbed goddess particularly since she was so damn sweet and you can’t help but love her. As such, she was confident and ready to take on the world solo for a little bit thanks to a big bowl of Sugared Nuts.

While these are conveniently called sugared nuts, they obviously also have a little bit of spice added to kick the flavours up a notch. Earthy, sweet and oh so delicious, this slight tweak on Nigella’s edible gift is the perfect way to spread cheer and good will or just turn a mood around.

Enjoy!

Sugared Nuts
Makes: 4 cups.

Ingredients
1 cup walnuts
1 cup cashews
1 cup pistachios
1 cup macadamias
1 ½ tsp garam masala
1 tsp celery salt
½ tsp chilli flakes
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
3 sprigs rosemary leaves, finely chopped
2 tsp kosher salt

Method
Put a large frying pan over medium heat and line a baking sheet.

Pop the nuts in the warm pan and toss for a few minutes – not like that – until starting to warm and get lightly toasted. Add the garam masala, celery salt and chilli flakes and toads to coat.

Add the oil, sugar and rosemary, and gently stir with a spatula to coat until the sugar is melted and everything is rich and dark but not burnt. Pour onto the lined baking sheet, sprinkle with the kosher salt and leave to set for about half an hour before packaging. Or you know, serving and immediately devouring.


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Geo Bustamantea Soaked Chicken

Main, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor 43

Previously on Survivor the Vesi tribe finally started to turn things around with a dominating win in the reward challenge. Sick of seeing Coco win, they opted to use their reward to steal from them, setting off their downfall. At the immunity challenge Vesi continued their streak and then helped Baka solve their puzzle, sending Coco to their first tribal council. That set off a chain of events where paranoia got the best of Lindsay as she spiralled and despite the target being between Cassidy and Geo, the tribe opted for calm and booted her from the game. Thankfully earning her a place in Second Chances due to her iconic flame out.

Back at camp the tribe rallied together as Cassidy reflected on how Lindsay’s nerves alone caused her downfall. That being said, she was super disappointed to have received one vote and requested that whoever did it talk to her to explain their process. And while mastermind Ryan wanted to smooth things over, Geo owned up and went for a walk and straight up made the entire situation worse, accusing her of voting against him – despite Lindsay clearly being the one to do it – and showing no remorse. After debriefing with Karla however, the girls were galvanised and once again ready to take out Ryan or Geo.

The next day Elie and Jeanine were busy hunting for the Baka hidden immunity idol, finally finding it, covered in ants. Jeanine threw caution to the wind and grabbed the Beware Advantage, learning that she now had to go through the bead saga. While filling in Elie though, they were caught by Owen, their second option for third place in their alliance. As such, they filled him in and while he considered holding on to his bead to screw her out of her vote and take control with Gabler, he ultimately handed it over to build trust. Elie then took the information straight to Sami, pointing out that he is actually the one they trust over Owen. Sami meanwhile was feeling safe with his place in the tribe, though he was concerned for Gabler, who had no idea what was going on. 

Oh and despite Gabler wanting to hang on to his special bead, he ultimately gave it over to Jeanine and powered her idol. Thankfully, Sami woke up and chose chaos this morning, pulling Gabler aside and pointing out that he just powered Jeanine’s idol and um, is Sami actually a savvy player that is going to win this?

The tribes reconnected with Jeffrey for the next immunity challenge where they would be tethered together to run through a series of obstacles carrying buckets of water to release a gate. And then, instead of the usual puzzle, they would roll three balls up a ramp and land them on a platform. Oh and the victors would get a tarp each. While Coco got out to an early, massive lead, they struggled to roll the balls, leaving Vesi and Baka plenty of time to close the gap. As the three tribes faced off, Dwight and Sami quickly got their eye in, overtaking Ryan – who knocked off his two balls – and secured immunity for Vesi, followed by Baka. Kinda proving Vesi’s strategy to weaken Coco was a good idea, given they would now be down two people by the end of the episode. Before heading out, Vesi was given the power to send people on this week’s journey, opting for Geo, Jeanine and Jesse. 

Oh and we then learnt that Ryan threw the challenge to get rid of Cassidy. Back at camp however, he pretended to be disappointed in himself while locking in the vote against Cassidy with James and Karla. Sadly for him, James took that information straight back to Cassidy and assured her that they can load their votes on Geo with Karla and get rid of him without Ryan noticing. Cassidy approached him to talk things through, with each pretending that Ryan would be the next one out, with neither of them deviating from their supposed scripts. And while Ryan thought he was playing it all expertly, it was looking more and more like the group would be targeting him and Geo, just in case he gets an advantage on the journey.

Speaking of which, we caught up with Jesse, Jeanine and Geo where they discovered they had to row a boat through very rough seas until they reached an island to get their risk options. Geo used the very long row to talk about how close he was to being voted out the night before to garner sympathy and while Jeanine didn’t buy his story, the fact that Geo was confirmed to be risking his vote, makes it dangerous for them to play. Sadly for Geo, neither of his fellow journey-ers cared about him and ended up taking the risk. But turns out, he did get lucky, given he was the one that jagged the Knowledge Is Power advantage on his return to camp.

While Jesse and Jeanine sadly discovered they were now without votes at the next tribal council, Jesse reading his note in public while Jeanine learned the news in private. And then admitted what happened to the rest of the tribe, though pretended it was her first time reading it. Which annoyed Sami, given they all knew she already risked her vote the day before to secure an idol and now they know just how hard she is willing to play.

We ventured back to Coco where Geo filled the tribe in on the journey, lying to them and explaining he didn’t risk his vote. Before pulling each of his allies aside to share the truth, showing them his Knowledge Is Power advantage and while he thought it would build trust, it made Karla and James nervous enough to turn their attention to him, rather than Ryan, who had somehow become the actual target. While filling in Cassidy, she then started to get nervous about her doing a Lindsay and starting to spiral, which made them actually consider voting out one of their allies. Again.

At tribal council Cassidy spoke about the fact that while their momentum has waned, she believes they can swing it back. Ryan spoke about synergy – corporate buzzwords for the win, I guess – before opening up (in lie form) about feeling like he is the target tonight, given he bombed the challenge. Which Cassidy pointed out was noble, but kind of hard to believe. As he continued to play the aw shucks role, Karla admitted that easy votes are always tempting and given he offered himself up, it could make things good for the rest of them. Geo spoke about feeling uneasy given he missed so much potential scrambling time though was hopeful he had done enough, while James praised him for being so honest after the journey.

Probst then made Geo nervous about how to vote, while Karla – after a brief mental blank – slyly told him that he should trust in his alliance rather than being nervous. Oh and then Ryan asked everyone to say what they liked best about him as they voted, while Cassidy was just looking forward to having another chance for the tribe to prove trust by doing what they planned. With that the tribe voted before Ryan and Geo were shocked as the latter was booted from the game, with an advantage barely in his pocket.

While Geo was both surprised and disappointed to find himself booted from the game, he is such a delight that he took it all in his stride. I pulled him in for a massive hug as soon as he arrived at Loser Lodge, assuring him that he played a strong game and while I love the three tribe format, it truly is the hardest one to navigate given there is no room to hide. So between that and his personal story, I was thrilled to be able to toast his success with a big fat bowl of Geo Bustamantea Soaked Chicken.

I am normally a basic girl that lives for a good old honey chicken or something of that ilk when it comes to Chinese take away, but this little number has that trumped. Complex, spicy and sweet, it is the perfect comforting dish to eat through your feelings or finish out the week.

Enjoy!

Geo Bustamantea Soaked Chicken
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
3 tbsp sesame oil
2 tbsp minced ginger
4 garlic cloves, smashed
2 tbsp Szechuan peppercorns
2 star anise
3 tbsp coriander seeds
4 cups water
2 cups soy sauce
¼ cup kosher salt
8 black tea bags
1kg chicken breast or thighs, diced
2 shallots, sliced, to garnish

Method
Heat a saucepan over medium heat and add 2 tablespoons of the oil. Once shimmering, add the ginger, garlic and cook for a couple of minutes. Add the peppercorns, star anise and coriander seeds and stir until fragrant, before stirring in the water, soy and salt. Bring to a boil, remove from the heat and add the tea to steep for ten minutes or so. Remove the tea bags and the brine to cool completely. Pop the chicken in the large bowl and pour over the chilled brine. Cover and pop in the fridge to marinate overnight.

When you’re ready to cook, drain the chicken and heat the remaining oil in a wok over high heat. In batches stir fry the chicken until cooked through and repeat the process. Serve piping hot with a garnish of shallots and devour, regally.


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Pinkle Cut Fries

Side, Snack, Street Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor South Africa after swapping over to Yontau together, Dante and Palesa were ready to bond. And by bond, Dante felt like he had found himself another loyal ally, while Palesa bided her time to get rid of him. Dante meanwhile was focused on taking a shot at his nemesis Dino, while Shona, for reasons unknown, opted to join Yontau despite having a numbers disadvantage. Over at new Masu, Killarney was ready to join with the OGs and get revenge on her former tribe. After losing immunity Dino, Phil and Shona tried to fight from the bottom, but Phil got nervous and put a vote on Shona which sent her home over Dante.

Back at camp Phil was rightly feeling like a bonehead for voting out his ally, though blamed Shona for not pulling out her fake idol and causing chaos like she was meant to as a cue. Dante meanwhile was angry about Dino voting for him. And not only Dino, but also Meryl and Marian for not trusting him. While Meryl warned Phil that his fuck-up is going to unleash Dante’s full rage, suggesting it would have been better for everyone if he just voted Dante. Palesa meanwhile found it all hilarious, given she was the one quietly working to get rid of Dante, however now because of the chaos, he feels even closer to her than his original allies.

The next day Dino and Phil caught up by the well, with Dino so confused how the plan failed and disappointed to just be a dead man walking. While all Phil could do was apologise and to hope not to make another mistake soon. Palesa joined them and let her full frustrations be known, sick of the excuses and annoyed that other people’s mistakes are bringing her down. And preach. We ventured over to Masu where Tejan pulled Toni aside and shared the idol clue with her. However sadly as they started hunting around, Pinty walked in on them and put a stop to any and all proceedings.

My love Nico arrived for the latest immunity challenge where a caller would direct their blindfolded tribemates to collect puzzle pieces and then solve a word puzzle. First to finish getting immunity and a trip to the Fresh Stop Survivor Shop full of fried chicken, desserts and no doubt, an advantage. After Killarney almost put a stop to the challenge by fainting, she rallied and things kicked off. Well, for Yontau who nailed it as Dino quickly called them all to their pieces while Pinty wandered aimlessly and put Masu at a very large disadvantage. As Dino got to work on the puzzle, his tribe started cheering loudly to drown out Thoriso as she grew angrier and angrier as she tried to direct Toni to the final table. And then even angrier as Dino secured the win for the tribe.

The victors headed to the Survivor shop, featuring the usual one at a time twist – never forget Benji and the nachos – with Marian frustrated to draw the shortest straw and guarantee herself missing out on the chance for advantages. Meryl meanwhile was thrilled, smashing food while desperately hunting for an idol. While she didn’t jag one, she did find a tribal council pass hidden in a cake. And just like that, she is holding a lot of power. While everyone else also tried to hunt for an advantage, Phil and Marian just focused on the food and well, relatable.

Heading back to camp the two factions headed off to catch up with Dante still trying to find someone to blame for almost getting voted off. As Dante went to fume elsewhere with Palesa and lock in a tighter alliance, Meryl caught Marian up on the fact she found the tribal council pass. Adding to their alliance’s haul of all the possible advantages in the game, along with Steffi.

Back at camp Thoriso was heartbroken by Yontau’s dirty play at the challenge, while Felix felt they should all stop complaining since they did the same things in the mud pit. As the tribe sat around eating lunch, Steffi tried to portion out the food and got some sass from Pinty leading to her blowing up on Pinty instead. Then swiftly apologising. Toni meanwhile was busy playing both sides, telling Thoriso, Felix and Pinty she would join them to get rid of Killarney, while telling Steffi and Killarney the OG Masu’s will be working with Killarney to take out Pinty. Speaking of Pinty, she, Killarney and Steffi were awkwardly sitting around the fire and chatting about the vote. And all pretending they don’t have any plan for the night’s tribal council.

Steffi and Toni caught up, ready to take out Pinty and thrilled to have landed together on Masu 2.0 and form a new bond where they want to work together. Sadly for Steffi, Pinty was trying to rally the troops against her as should Steffi make it to the merge, she is going to the end. While she tried to drive home the importance of getting rid of Steffi, Thoriso had no interest, given she wants to get rid of the only other goat in the game Killarney. Because if that strategy is getting someone to the end, best believe it will be her. Felix and Tejan then caught up and well, neither of them were sure which was the right plan to go with.

At tribal council Toni spoke about how grateful she is to have landed on Masu 2.0, with Killarney admitting she finally has stuff in common with her tribemates. While Pinty likened it to starting at a new school and making new friends. Toni pledged her undying loyalty to Masu 2.0, with Felix talking about how weakness comes in many forms and how a social faux pas can ruin the vibe. Everyone admitted they were nervous about tribal, while Pinty admitted she just doesn’t want to get blindsided again. Killarney spoke about making the right decision for the entire tribe, which is what Pinty agreed was the best plan. While Tejan and Steffi just wanted the vote to strengthen them as a unit.

With that the tribe voted and Pinty’s fears were realised as she was blindsided from the game, as she asked everyone if they were the ones to turn on her. Pinty was disappointed as she arrived at Loser Lodge, though was also grateful to have gotten another shot at the game and to have made it further. Obviously I didn’t want to rock the boat with her given we have similar temperaments, so instead, we toasted her success with a big bowl of Pinkle Cut Fries.

Yes, yes – crinkle cut chips are only really special because of their shape and are no different to cooking chips. But like brownie pans that increase the edge pieces, the crinkle shape gives you an all around crunchier experience with the inside perfectly light and fluffy. So yeah, they good.

Enjoy!

Pinkle Cut Fries
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
500g starchy potatoes, peeled
sunflower oil, for fryin’
salt, to taste

Method
Use a crinkle-cutter to cut the potatoes lengthways into batons and rinse under cold running water to remove most of the starch.

Pop enough oil in a large wok or a deep fryer and bring to 130°C. Cook the chips in a few batches, agitating often and remove with a slotted spoon to drain on a paper towel.

Increase the oil to 180°C and repeat the process, this time cooking until golden and glorious. This double cook is the key to perfect crunch, and a fluffy inside. Remove with a slotted spoon again and drain on a new paper towel. Toss with copious amounts of salt and devour immediately.


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Gigantes Swati Goel

Breakfast, Main, Side, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 42, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, mother nature proved quite the spoiler in the immunity challenge and while Taku were able to dominate and quickly earn their immunity, the other tribes weren’t so lucky. Mainly because they didn’t have a Jonathan who absolutely beasted his way through the challenge, keeping his tribe from drowning and single handedly finishing said challenge. After resetting the challenge and skipping over the water section, Vati lost and despite knowing her alliance was already down a vote, Chanelle decided to risk hers at the summit. Which obviously meant she lost hers too, leading to a deadlock vote between Lydia and Jenny, before Daniel’s fear doomed not only his alliance with Chanelle – after throwing her under the bus over and over – but sent the iconic Jenny from the game.

Back at camp Daniel realised how badly he cooked things but instead of immediately apologising, he requested the tribe ignore everything for the moment and instead talk it through in the morning. Chanelle meanwhile did not want to wait, calling him out for completely throwing him under the bus though admitted to us that getting rid of Lydia was totally her idea. She then continued her revenge bus-throwing, telling Mike that Daniel told her he didn’t have a vote because of his idol. While Hai summed it up succinctly explaining that everyone in the tribe blindsided him except for Lydia, who is only here because Daniel stupidly told him that he desperately didn’t want to go to rocks, meaning all Hai had to do was hold firm. Hai then pulled Mike aside and the duo apologised to each other and vowed to work together now that Daniel is persona non-grata. While the same can not be said about Mike and Daniel as Mike parented him by explaining how disappointed in him that he was.

Jeffrey arrived first thing the next day as the tribes lined up for a reward challenge where they would each have to untangle themselves from a rope, hook a sled of balls and then shoot some hoops for a feast of fish. Which they obviously have to clean and cook themselves in this new era of Survivor. Taku got out to an early lead which was obviously only extended, given they have Jonathan on their tribe. Maryanne quickly shot her first basket, followed by Omar on his second try before Jonathan and Lindsay secured reward before anyone else even came close to finishing. Sadly though, Jonathan explained that they keep dominating because they’re such a tight four which obviously painted a target on all their backs. Despite the fact Tori called Jonathan out for carrying his tribe. Which seems like a bad idea for her game too, but whatever.

Taku returned to camp and was delighted by just how massive their fish were before Maryanne and Omar told Jonathan that he shouldn’t have outed how tight they are. Though given he is so indispensable, he doesn’t really have to worry. Jonathan opened up to Lindsay about how he hated Tori calling him out for being so strong, though he did try to look on the bright side about how it now means everyone knows that he is the ultimate shield. He then told us how playing Survivor has always been a dream of his and how he is working so hard so that his tribe knows that he is playing a selfless game to lessen his threat level. Given it is a bad idea to boot someone who is straight up keeping you alive. Well, bad idea to boot them early.

Meanwhile over at Ika, Romeo was busy building a fire while Rocksroy barked orders to him about how best to do things. Which made Romeo more and more annoyed by him. Swati and Tori caught up with Swati floating the idea of getting rid of Drea and her extra vote so that they could take a power position. Sadly though, Tori had no interest in working with Rocksroy and he was essentially their only option to take control. Despite hating him, Tori caught up with Rocksroy to form a bond though given she thinks he is a narcissist, she has no interest and this isn’t going to end well. She continued to push through her reservations, telling Rocksroy about Drea’s extra vote to build trust. Which he immediately broke, going straight to Drea to out her for sharing said information and essentially making everyone turn on her.

The tribe rejoined with Jeff over the water for the latest immunity challenge where after Maryanne once again told her tale of the bunny rabbit eating dinner in the mailbox, they would race out to a tower, climb said tower to release keys before unlocking puzzle pieces. And solving said puzzles. While yeah, yeah Taku got out to an early lead, the most important part of the challenge was who took Monika Radulovic’s mantle as the belly flopping icon with Lydia missing her key multiple times though thankfully she did not crack her gut . As Taku whipped through the puzzle, Ika struggled, allowing Vati to catch up with Chanelle powering along and taking out the second immunity, sending Ika back to tribal council.

Back at camp Rocksroy was growing more and more frustrated by the tribe’s inability to win, though he was very much looking forward to getting rid of Tori. Meanwhile Tori was catching up with Romeo, who told him that Swati told her that everyone but her was aligned and as such, Tori felt she could only work with Swati. This pissed off Romeo who went to Drea to float the idea of getting rid of Swati instead. Particularly since she straight up told everyone that they were her number one. Tori included, who they next caught up with to officially lock in the vote to get rid of her instead. Swati grew nervous and caught up with Romeo and then when he didn’t make her feel any better, she approached Drea to try and clear the air. And while Tori’s story sounded more plausible, Drea felt like neither she nor Swati were really good for her game and as such, she wasn’t sure who to prioritise getting rid of first.

At tribal council Drea wasn’t really sure how to articulate the general vibe of the tribe, while Tori straight up called it a mess but was hopeful that voting out the messy one will help bring them together. Swati tried to talk around in circles and play coy about Tori trying to blindside Drea before Tori jumped in and told her she was projecting and that Swati had been trying to get rid of Drea from the first tribal council. Drea meanwhile was frustrated to always have her name on the block despite wanting to bring everyone together while Swati grew more and more nervous, telling the tribe that getting rid of Tori will fix all of the tribe’s problems. With Romeo agreeing that getting rid of the person the majority wanted to vote out would bring them together. Rocksroy jumped in to praise Swati for putting herself out there despite her insecurities. Which appeared to be the kiss of death as after playing her shot in the dark and not gaining safety, she was booted from the tribe. While her sole remaining ally Rocksroy looked on, enraged.

Sweet Swati was pretty chill and accepting as she entered Loser Lodge, despite her obvious disappointment. While everything seemed to be going well early on in the game, Swati’s multiple deals unravelled everything. Along with Tori taking advantage of it, which was something she and Zach were able to bond over. That and a piping hot bowl of Gigantes Swati Goel.

I know, I know – beans aren’t usually the most exciting of meals, but these are an oh so delicious exception. Smooth, sweet and packing a little bit of spice, these are a perfect mid-week dinner or a delicious winter breakfast. Essentially, get amongst them.

Enjoy!

Gigantes Swati Goel
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 rashers streaky bacon, diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 carrots, peeled and cut into coins
1 tsp chilli flakes
800g can diced tomatoes
400g can butter beans
2 tbsp tomato paste
2 bay leaves
⅓ cup fresh parsley, roughly chopped
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
salt and pepper, to taste
100g feta, crumbled, for serving

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and cook the onion and bacon together for five minutes. Or until golden and sweet. Add the garlic, carrot and chilli and cook for a further few minutes or until starting to soften.

Stir in the tomatoes, butter beans, tomato paste and bay leaves with half a cup of water. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for fifteen minutes. Remove from the heat, stir in the parsley, red wine vinegar and a good whack of salt and pepper.

Serve immediately with a heaping of feta and devour. Soothingly.


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