Garlic

Phoebe Gratimmins

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2016), Side, Snack, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor, Phoebe and Kristie pulled off a killer blindside on Craig – for which Kristie was robbed of an Emmy – before Phoebe attempted to throw her only ally under the bus after Vavau lost immunity. Again. Thankfully for our budding actress instead of voting out a tribe member in front of a Saanapuan, their rival was able to kidnap a tribe member, making the battle now four to ten after Brooke took Sue.

We opened up back at Saanapu where Brooke filled the tribe in on all the Phoebe intel – which JoJo kindly threw out there at tribal – while Sue tried to find her footing despite knowing she was the taken to be an easy boot if they lost.

Remember the good old days of triumphant, happy Vavau? The feels. Current flailing, sad Vavau arrived back from tribal where Kristie was relieved to still be in the game thanks to the twist, though lacked the awareness to know that Phoebe well and truly does not have her back.

The next day Phoebe checked in with Kristie to make sure she was buying her loyalty before the camp literally caught on fire. Kristie – this is a sign from the island. Surprisingly it was Kristie that put it out, despite the fact she is oft edited to appear like a serial killer.

Over on Saanapu poor Sue woke up to her new reality, hanging clothes and clearing the air with her fellow ex-Vavauns. Well, Nick – she and Jennah-Louise didn’t have beef. Nick had his cranky pants on and Sue tried to calm him but didn’t seem to really give a shit about his tude. She may not be very visible but I love her.

The tribes then reconvened with JoJo for the immunity challenge where Vavau were emulating the great Aitu Four, mainly due to the fact that they are grossly outnumbered and soon to become Twolong.

In addition to immunity, the tribes were competing for the Hungry Jack’s breakfast menu by a waterfall.

After a tight battle – where the tribes had to rub (around) a pole, navigate a beam, tease another pole and work some hard stumps – Sam hurt his pole but not his pride with Saanapu pulling out a come from behind victory.

While at this point we are normally treated to a dejected Vavau, we trundled off to reward with Saanapu to ensure that we all knew that the burgers truly are better at Hungry Jack’s. Now with real coffee. Corporate sponsorship aside, Sue was happy, so I’m happy. Of course Nick continued to play the loudest, tiny violin and promised her downfall. Which obviously ain’t happening.

Finally we get to see Vavau return to camp for their annual scramble where Conner and Kate mixed things up and exchanged trust. Despite the scene being extremely corny, it warmed my cold heart and makes me want them to become the Australian Romber.

With the pleasantries out of the way, they connected with Phoebe and reconfirmed last night’s plan to boot Kristie. Obviously that gave Phoebe the opportunity to once again attempt to keep Kristie from getting paranoid, except this time it made her paranoid. She then approached Kate who threw Phoebe under the bus, igniting a fire in Kristie like the one she and Phoebe lit at camp earlier.

After working Kate and Conner to her side and giving another award winning performance with Phoebe, Kristie cryptically danced around JoJo’s questions at tribal before taking out – finally – Phoebe.

I first connected with Phoebe while she was attending Law School where I was, obviously, in the midst of one of my institutional lecturing scams. Despite running the course like a young, less interesting – and surprisingly, less murdery – Annalise Keating, Phoebe and I grew close.

I assume she was fascinated by my complex mind and she is treating me like a study, but alas, that is a story for another time. Phebs was in good spirits upon arriving at loser lodge, despite just being the victim of a blindside AND just missing the actual merge and now risks losing her boyfriend.

I don’t want to oversell it now, but I completely put her positive mood down to my Phoebe Gratimmins.

 

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Creamy, warm and soothing, it is everything you need to lift your spirits after exiting the game you’ve dominated – completely – for a month.

Well played Phebs, you’ll be missed while on the loser vacay.

Enjoy!

 

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Phoebe Gratimmins
Serves: 4-6, as a side. 1 after finding out you just missed the merge.

Ingredients
1kg potatoes, washed
300ml milk
300ml double cream
4 garlic cloves, peeled and sliced
2 sprigs of fresh thyme, leaves removed
1 onion, finely diced
pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
⅓ cup parmesan cheese, freshly grated

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Combine the milk and cream in a large saucepan, add the garlic, thyme and onion, and slowly cook over low heat. When it is about to reach boiling point, remove it from the heat, add the nutmeg and keep warm.

Thinly slice the potatoes and layer in a medium baking, slightly overlapping around the edges. Lightly season and repeat until half the potato is gone. Top with half the fragrant dairy mix, spreading out the chunks of garlic and herbs as you go.

Layer the rest of the potatoes, top with the rest of the cream/milk, scatter over the cheese and bake for an hour or so. Or until the potatoes are golden and tender.

Leave to stand for five/ten minutes before devouring.

 

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Yuzu Aduba Chicken

Emmy Gold, Main, Poultry

Holy snub, batman!

Finally I’m catching up with a past winner who isn’t going for a gong this year, but really, at what cost. How in the world does the queen of chocolate and vanilla swirls, erotica and small buns not score a third consecutive nom/win?

But seriously. Crazy-eyes, no nomination? Crazy.

Despite what would obviously be disappointment, Uzo is such an absolute treasure that she hasn’t taken me up on any offers to send anthrax to the nominees that stole her place and nor does she want me to pull a Kanye dressed as Bob the Drag Queen dressed as Uzo as Crazy-Eyes in Snatch Game.

Honestly though, that is just classic Uzo. She has always had the sweetest heart and is arguably the kindest person I’ve ever met.

We first connected while attending Boston University and quickly grew to be the best of friends. As the only two people to be studying classical singing on the track and field team, that was kind of bound to happen.

After graduation, we packed up and farewelled Boston to try her luck on the big white way. It became abundantly clear that my chequered past was going to stand in the way of her success, so I wished her luck and fled – only finding joy in watching her career flourish in my absence.

Fast forward to 2012 and I started developing a little show for Netflix under the pseudonym Jenji Kohan – Benji/Jenji, I’m surprised no one has twigged before – and I knew there was nobody else that could play the role of Crazy Eyes.

I was reticent to bring up the odds for this year’s nominees but sweet Uzo knows how important gambling is to me – I mean, she hosted six of my nine gambling addiction interventions – so felt it was her duty to assist me. Yes it is questionable given my past, but she is too damn nice and didn’t want to upset me further after I found out her plus one was already taken.

With that, we agreed that Lena would snag Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for her bad-ass ascension to the throne and celebrated Ames and Teens taking out the Guest Actress in a Comedy win.

We also agreed that my Yuzu Aduba Chicken is an absolute must.

 

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There is nothing better than chicken with a bit of citrus up the butt. I know there is a science – well assume but want to sound like I know what I’m talking about, which I won’t if it is actually wrong – behind the citric acid, steam and the chicken cavity that makes it so tender and juicy, but do we care about science? I mean, I’ve slept with Bill Nye but beyond that I’ve got no interest in science.

No matter where you stand on the caring-about-science-spectrum, this chicken is fucking delicious. Add in a cheeky little slaw and it almost makes up for the most egregious snubbings of 2016.

Enjoy!

 

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Yuzu Aduba Chicken
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 large chicken
1-2 yuzu, size dependent
2 garlic cloves, crushed
2 tsp ginger, grated
25g unsalted butter, melted
2 tbsp light soy sauce
½ tsp sesame oil
1 tbsp peanut oil
½ tsp caster sugar
black sesame seeds, to serve
yuzu/lemon/lime wedges, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C.

Place the chicken in a large roasting dish, pierce the yuzu with a skewer and shove square up the butt/cavity. Rub with a bit of peanut oil, season and chuck in the oven for an hour and twenty minutes.

Meanwhile, combine garlic, ginger, butter and half the soy sauce in a bowl. After the chicken has been in the oven for twenty minutes, baste with the marinade and continue every fifteen minutes or so to get crispy, sticky skin. If it starts to get too blackened, cover in foil.

Once the chicken is done, remove from the oven, cover with foil and then a tea towel and rest for fifteen minutes. After it has steamed in its juices, uncover, carve and serve with a light asian salad and a sprinkling of why-they-gotta-be-black-sesame-seeds (spoiler: they taste better) and a wedge of yuzu (or lemon or lime).

 

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Bryam Cranston Balls

Emmy Gold, Party Food, Side, Snack, Vegetarian

Ok – so I know it makes running the odds all the more difficult, I couldn’t bare to hold an Emmy Week without seeing my ex-love and six-time victor Bryan Cranston.

Plus he has won for Best Actor in a Drama and Best Drama on top of his nominations for Best Actor in a Limited Series or Movie, Best Limited Series or Movie and – catch your breath – Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy, meaning he can run a shit tonne of odds with me.

Let’s start with Best Supporting Actor, on account of yesterday’s catch-up with Tone, where Bry (like me and honestly Tone) is going for the well-deserved though underdog Tituss Burgess. I mean, the academy really should make up for the fact he lost last year despite the majesty of Pinot Noir.

Anyway, let me take you back to the early 80s. As you know, I was working with my dear friend Erik Estrada on the set of CHiPs when a young Bry arrived to guest during an episode. Using my keen sense of great talent – I discovered Meryl Streep, did you know? – I knew that he was destined for greatness, kinda dumped E and hitched myself to the Cranston Wagon.

We stayed close through his bit parts on Murder She Wrote, Matlock, Baywatch, The Flash, Seinfeld before I finally got him his big break – via my ex-lover – on Malcolm in the Middle and the rest, as they irritatingly say, is history.

While I was never able to get through the shit stretch of Breaking Bad, I’ve always been Bry’s number one fan and know that he will once again take out the Emmy, this time for Actor in a Limited Series or Movie (I mean, the man won a Tony for the play) – obvs I’m putting a cheeky bet on Hiddleston for the sole reason that he finally broke up with Swifty.

Once again, despite our extremely loud and incredibly close relationship, Bry has opted to go to this year’s Emmys with his wife, although was kind enough to point out that Kit and I would make such a cute twincest couple, albeit with me in the role of low-rent Jon Snow. With such a beautiful compliment, I had to repay him so still whipped up a batch of my Bryam Cranston Balls.

 

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You know that like the egreciously snubbed Jane Krakowski’s alter ego Jenna Maroney, I’m a huge fan of balls. Balls, balls, balls, balls.

Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls. If I can form food into a ball, I will.

So yes, these are just a version of arancini, but arancini is the best, so is that a crime? Add in some yam (or you know, sweet potato in a pinch … I was in a pinch), spinach and goat’s cheese and you’ve got a preemptive seventh Emmy party in yo’ mouth!

Enjoy!

 

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Bryam Cranston Balls
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
250g yam (or sweet potato), peeled and cut into 1cm dice
olive oil
3 cups chicken stock
1 onion, finely diced
1 garlic clove, crushed
1 cup arborio rice
½ cup white wine
1 cup baby spinach
100g goat’s cheese, crumbled
2 tbsp sage, finely chopped
1 tbsp dried chilli flakes
½ cup plain flour
2 eggs, lightly whisked
1 cup panko breadcrumbs

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Place the yam on an a baking tray, drizzle with oil and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and tender.

Bring the stock to a simmer in a saucepan over low heat.

Meanwhile, heat a good lug of oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for 5 minutes, or until fragrant and soft. Add the rice and cook for a further couple of minutes or until they start to go translucent. Add the wine and cook until it is all absorbed, followed by the stock, half-cup by half-cup until all gone, absorbing between each addition.

Reduce heat to low and cook for about 15 minutes, or until the rice is al dente. Remove from the heat, stir through the baby spinach and allow to cool for an hour.

When it is as frosty as a Daytime Emmy winner at a Primetime Emmy party, stir through the sweet potato, goat’s cheese, sage and chilli.

Line a large baking tray, roll the risotto into 1-2 tablespoon sized balls and place on the tray to rest until the mixture is all gone.

Place the flour in a shallow bowl, the eggs in another and the breadcrumbs in another. One by one, roll each ball in the flour, then the egg, followed by the breadcrumbs. Return to tray and repeat until all done. Place the tray in the fridge to chill for half an hour.

Remove the tray from the fridge, drizzle with oil and bake for 30 minutes, flipping once, or until golden and crisp.

Devour.

 

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Huevans Rancheros Jones

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2016), Breakfast

Previously on Survivor, Des was grumpy and irritated his way out of hearts and the tribe, before Saanapu ended their reign and went to tribal where the intelligence officer lacked intel and became the first blindside/second boot of the season.

We opened up with the sad Saanapu’s and a burnt out fire, where Kween Kylie (trademark pending) was disappointed to be out of the loop after Pete – wanting to be the Osten Taylor of  – was kept in the game against his wishes.

Not to be outdone, Pete was also heartbroken to still be there but quoted Probst and said he would dig deep – queue Holly Hoffman redemption arc, hopefully, in two episodes time.

Aka Tuesday – talk about post-a-palooza this week.

Again, they opted to go with another of my Survivor wet dreams – the poisoned chalice idol clue which has led to the downfall of many – on the outs, Kylie and male-HH went with deceit, as did Aganoa, though they one-upped them by giving us the visual of a clue going into an underwear model’s jocks while Vavau also went with dishonesty but in a potentially intelligent manner, admitting there was a clue…but lying about it.

While nobody bought the poorly constructed rhyme that had Dr Seuss turning in his grave, I am sad I never came up with that option, to be honest. Well, if it had worked.

Let’s return to Rohan dropping the clue from his junk, which Mr G found without sniffing it for man musk, #epicfail. Despite the fizzle of the deceit, choices make drama so I’m still putting this down as a win.

Plus we found definitive proof that in the High School ecosystem that English teachers are better than drama teachers.

We returned to the Aganoa where Mr G ostracised El by showing her the junk clue, who they approached the mutineers straight away to discuss the issue. Being far more social, they easily won El back. At this point can we all just accept that drama teachers are really difficult people to deal with? Thanks.

At this point I also am concerned about the welfare of Kat and Kristie. Are they safe? Are they still in the game? Did I black out and miss a week in which they were booted back to back? BRING BACK MY GIRLS!

And just as it came to me, lil Jojo listened to my plea and gave a proof of life of Kat and Kristie at the reward challenge where Vavau dominated the competition and the missing girls returned to a camp without luxury. Will the Resort Report spokesmodel survive the indignity? Hopefully.

We quickly checked in with our victors where Craig sadly commenced his pride cometh before the fall edit. While I assume they are good tonight, I’d back them going to tribal tomorrow and that has nothing to do with the fact I was on location during filming so literally know the entire outcome.

Anywho, we returned to Saanapu where Kween Kylie felt she proved her worth before the most sickening – not in a good way – stretch of television focusing on a phallocentric object ever filled.

I mean, the pus in that sea cucumber? Foul.

Meanwhile in Aganoa – where Kat returned to the scene briefly to become this episode’s decoy boot before the immunity challenge where – despite a thrilling comeback – Aganoa were given their return papers to tribal council.

After a period of back and forth between Evan and Kat, Phoebe worked her way into my (now) dream final four by forming what I hope will become the Australian black widow brigade and sent Mr G to loser lodge.

I know I’ve been hard on Mr G but after meeting on opposing sides of the 2012 school spectacular challenge, friendship was never going to come easily for us. Thankfully I’m so kind and mature that I could still offer my frenemy a nice comforting Huevans Rancheros Jones to dull the pain of being the third boot.

 

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I oft speak of my love for food so spicy that my innards liquify and more importantly, I like a bit of spice to work through the copious amounts of alcohol I’ve been consuming in the crew villas. So obviously this delight really fits the bill by packing a punch – hot, spicy and all together soothing, it helps Evan work through his pain and me my burgeoning drinking problem. Enjoy!

 

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Huevans Rancheros Jones
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
200g dried chorizo, diced
1 onion, diced
1 yellow capsicum, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
800g canned diced tomatoes
1 tbsp chopped chipotles in adobo
¼ cup coriander, roughly chopped
1 tsp salt
8 large eggs
8 tortillas
refried beans, obviously from a can as I didn’t have time to make any in my luxury digs
2 avocados, mashed
1 green chilli, sliced to garnish

Method
Heat a large frying pan over high heat and fry the chorizo for a few minutes. When the pan is full of beautifully smoky oil, add the onion, capsicum and garlic and fry for a further few minutes. Reduce the heat to medium, add the tomatoes and chipotles and bring to a simmer.

Crack the eggs into the tomato liquid, reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for 5-10 minutes or until the eggs are delicately poached.

While the eggs are cooking, heat the tortillas in the microwave, heat the refried beans in a small saucepan over low heat (or the microwave, whatever) and mash the avocados.

To serve, add a generous ladle of sauce with two eggs, top with beans, avocado, coriander and some chopped fresh chillis. To devour, scoop it all into a tortilla and revel in the spicy joy. You could add sour cream, which I always usually love, but wouldn’t you rather experience the full force of the heat?

 

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Potato Jems

Party Food, Side, Snack, Vegetarian

Oh my goodness it is so great to finally be out of my Olympics trance. I know I am crazy sporty and won countless Olympic gold medals (which were all stripped away after Lance and I were found to be drug cheats) but damn, thank god they only happen every four years.

I mean, I can only handle so much thirst, you know?

Thankfully I have such sweet friends like Jem who drop everything – realistically I’m not sure how much she currently has going on, but anyway – when I call to come and help me through my dark hours and bring joy back to my life.

I first met Jem in the early 80s when we both attended the Stanwell School, where we bonded over a mutual love of music – she wanting to write and perform and me wanting to become the most prolific groupie of all time.

Needless to say, we both succeeded.

While life took us in different directions – and continents after I was deported for throwing too many of my knickers at Tom (his wife pressed charges, wench) – we always maintained a close bond and were really cute pen pals.

There aren’t many other communication options when you’re in prison, don’t hate me.

Anyway, after helping Jem break into the US market by suggesting her for The OC soundtrack we reconnected in person and started collaborating. The pinnacle of those collaborations being an appearance on the Sex and the City movie soundtrack. Girl loves a soundtrack.

Oh and her new album.

There was only one thing I could serve as we gabbed about life and celebrated the release of our/her new album and that is a big ole batch of my Potato Jems.

 

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Let’s be honest, potato is probably the greatest food known to man.

Seriously pause and think about it for five minutes – potato.

Welcome back! How great is potato? Exactly.

Now picture it, grated and bound together with a kick of spice and fried to perfection. Crispy and fluffy, these babies are delicious.

Enjoy!

 

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Potato Jems
Serves: I say one, you say 4.

Ingredients
1 kg potatoes, peeled
1 tbsp flour
1 tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
¼ smoked paprika
¼ tsp dried oregano
pinch ground chilli
salt and pepper, to taste
vegetable oil

Method
Place the potatoes in a large pot of water and parboil for about 5-10 minutes, size dependent. Drain and allow to cool.

Once they have cooled enough to avoid third degree burns, grate the potatoes into a paper towel (or something clean and absorbent) and drain the potato, removing as much of the liquid as possible.

Transfer the potatoes to a large bowl, combine with the herbs and spices, season generously and form into gem/tot shapes. Obviously I am not committed on the shaping part of this exercise.

Heat a very generous lug of oil over high heat in a large frying pan and fry the tots 4-5 at a time  and cook until golden and crisp all over – a couple of minutes should be sweet. Remove to paper towel to drain and repeat until they are done.

Then devour.

 

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Pizza Bianca Anderson

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2016), Main, Party Food, Snack, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor, we were introduced to the 24 castaways including Kat brand rep for Trent Resort, while Conner mistook The Hunger Games for a period piece rather than a film set in the dystopian future and Des offended everyone on his tribe on his way out the door for a cafe latte.

We opened back up after Aganoa’s first tribal council where Kristie decided to channel Abi-Maria and accuse the entire tribe of theft. As yet though, no one is dead to her.

Over on Saanapu aka Kylie and the lessor people, Bianca used her intelligence experience to break down the relationships on the tribe and I think alluded to throwing the challenge. So using Survivor logic, see you later Bianca?

Off topic though, wouldn’t Kylie and Sue be the best possible final two? The answer is yes, even though the question is rhetorical. Back at Aganoa, Kristie continued her play for Australia’s Abi-Maria before El stepped in, comforted her and took her under her wing and worked her way into my heart/dream final three with Sue and Kylie.

When we finally checked in with Vavau where Craig introduced us to Barry – who may or may not have been present in the premiere – and we learnt that like Des they aren’t fans on lattes, preferring flat whites instead.

Also they are still struggling to get fire with flint. Somewhere Becky and Sundra were crying into a pile of used matches.

Back with Kylie’s Krew we discovered that Peter was on struggle street and making a play to be the Osten Taylor of Australian Survivor, before zigging when I thought he would zag and slipping on the rocks like Day 39 Aras.

Seriously, Ten … unpredictable.

We then checked in with Jon Jon at the immunity challenge where sadly there was still a decided lack of sexual innuendo. I mean, bring us some balls and Probst-esque smut if you want a hit Ten!

It was a tight fought race but after a major comeback from Lee channeling Boston Rob in Heroes vs Villains and the girls on Vavau channeling Lee playing cricket, Saanapu lost the challenge and wound up at tribal council.

While there was a bit of a misdirect with Petey trying to fall on his sword, we were thankfully treated to our first blindside of the season with Bianca making her way off the island as the second boot.

Poor Bianca was victim of trying to make a move too soon, sadly not utilising the tactical training we both completed while working as intelligence operatives. Did you really think i’d know her any other way?

Binks was crazy upset to be the first one out of her tribe but having a dear old friend like me there to comfort her dulled the pain. Admittedly my Pizza Bianca Anderson probably had a whole lot to do with that.

 

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Despite being the perfect definition of biege, this pizza is anything but – the woodiness of the rosemary and sweetness of the onion meld perfectly with the sharp cheeses. So simple, yet so perfect – enjoy!

 

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Pizza Bianca Anderson
Serves: 1 despondent second boot.

Ingredients
1 pizza base, use Zsa Zsa’s recipe darling
125g ricotta cheese, crumbled
75g mozzarella cheese, cubed
75g provolone cheese, cubed
⅓ cup grated parmesan cheese
2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1 tbsp finely chopped fresh rosemary leaves

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C.

Prepare the base as per the recipe and then smear it with the ricotta and top with the mozzarella, provolone, parmesan, garlic and rosemary.

Whack it in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes or until it is golden and molten. Devour quickly to eat your feelings.

 

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Carrie Fisher’n’Chips

Main, Seafood

Oh my goodness – my stomach is in agony! No i’m not into some odd masturbatory technique, I just haven’t stopped laughing for the last 24 hours.

It was such a treat to have Carrie over and reenact a good / funny version of SaTC with the part of New York dutifully played by my kitchen / television.

As you know, we met in rehab and were bonded instantly due the fact we were both poised to be celebrated writers and we had complex relationships with our Hollywood mothers. While my issues stemmed from the fact that I was generally running a scam at their expense, Carrie grew up in the limelight of the Reynolds-Fisher dynasty and drama which gave her a very different childhood … and me a reason to befriend her to get to Debs to form an alliance against Liz.

Obviously she stole two of her husbands from me … but that is another story for another time.

So back on track, I quickly ingratiated myself with the Reynolds-Fishers (often despite Caz’s better judgement) and have been a confidante to Caz ever since, filling each other’s lives with so much joy and laughter.

I can’t say enough about how beautiful and close our friendship is.

As I mentioned and I’m sure Star TrekWars fans would be aware, Caz just wrapped on the latest movie and was completely pooped so relished the opportunity to pull up a seat next to me in our twin recliners and make sassy, forced, attention grabbing statements about the semi-clad swimmers who were dutifully flooding our basements.

To get us in the mood – or to be more accurate, out of it – I whipped up a batch of her favourite / my famous Carrie Fisher’n’Chips.

 

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I assume I’ve mentioned it ad nauseam, if not, I fucking hate seafood. Hate it. I mean, they live in their filth (even though someone rightfully argued that they live in a purifying saline solution). Anyway, Carrie loves a good ole Fish and Chips and given that she just wrapped her time in London, I had to make something to help her acclimate back into the real world.

With that, I went heavy with the chilli, lemon and lime to drown the flavour of fish and served it with crispy chips and a delightful harissa mayo that had me *shudder* liking seafood.

Enjoy!

 

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Carrie Fisher’n’Chips
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
8 pieces of hoki portions (I hate seafood, of course I’m going to buy pre-portioned)
2 eggs, whisked
1 cup plain flour
2 cups panko breadcrumbs
¼ cup flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
1 tbsp chilli flakes
zest of one lime
vegetable oil
One serve of the chips from Friza Minnelli … I don’t think the Dolognese would help the chips

Harissa mayo
1 clove of garlic, finely minced
3 tbsp mayonnaise
4 tsp harissa paste
1 ½ tsp rose water

Tartare
1 cup mayonnaise
zest of one lemon
2 tsp capers, drained, finely chopped
2 gherkins, finely chopped
2 tbsp flat-leaf parsley, chopped

Method
Probs make a start on the chips first. Then when they are in the oven, whisk the eggs in a shallow bowl, the flour in a second shallow bowl and combine the breadcrumbs, parsley, chilli and lime in the third shallow bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Dry the hoki pieces with some paper towel. Working piece by piece, coat the fish in the flour, dip in the egg and coat in the crumb. Rest on a plate and continue until they are all sorted.

Heat a good lug of vegetable oil in a large frying pan over medium heat, when it is nice and hot reduce the heat to low and fry two pieces at a time, 4-5 minutes per side. Remove to some paper towel and repeat until the fish is sorted.

Turn off the oven when the chips are done and place the fish on the lower shelf to keep warm while you quickly whip up the sauces … which are super easy. Place all the ingredients in separate bowls – obviously – and stir to combine.

Serve up the fish and chips with a fat dollop of the sauces and the cut up zested citrus. Devour.

 

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