Pastry

Buffally Chicks in Blankettle

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Party Food, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor AJ became public enemy number one at the Brains after his failed attempt at getting rid of Logan. Unlike the poker players that came before him, however, he didn’t lay down and die. Instead, he went to Rich to let him know that Logan was actually out for him, inspiring him to take charge and lead a rival, all male alliance. All that set up was for nothing – yet – as the Brawns went on a losing streak, in no small part thanks to the golden foot of pole dancing king Myles. Knowing he was in danger, Nash pretended to find an idol right in front of Paulie in the hopes of scaring up a split vote he could take advantage of. Sadly for him, his social game wasn’t as on point as he thought, leasing to the tribe calling his bluff, sending him home and freeing us of the other, obnoxious camera hog.

The next day the Brawn tribe were as gloriously harmonious as the Brains were after booting Kent. Everyone was well slept and vibing by the fire, and even people that weren’t getting along previously, were getting along and living their best lives. Not everything was roses though, specifically Ben, who admitted that he stank. And Ursula was super salty to have had her name written down a second time. She and Noonan caught up to clear the air, with Noonan assuring her that she doesn’t intend to vote for her again and that she was only copping votes because of Nash. But trust and believe Ursula was not convinced, and she still intended to come for her at the first available opportunity.

We checked in on the Brains where we finally heard from Zara as the tribe were once again fireless and hungry. Because the boys miscalculated their rations. As Ally threatened to kill them all with the machete, we learnt that Zara is a luxe queen and ugh, I knew I loved her for a reason. The second one being that she hates Rich. She caught up with Karin to talk it out, realising that Laura and Logan were protecting him and as such, suggested that if they don’t get on board at the next tribal council, the Coven is over. AJ meanwhile was feeling great about his place in the tribe despite his faux pas, and was now going to lay low and let Ally bury herself given she has such a big mouth. While he was sulking by the ocean, Ally complained about him ignoring her, while Zara explained that he is clearly annoyed that she threw him under the bus. Despite briefly considering apologising to him, she started to berate him for being immature and told him she wanted to remember him more fondly once he was gone, so he should just get in line and smile. He then laughed to us about the fact that he actually had a good bond with Myles and Kaelen, and along with the other boys were planning to take a shot at the girls, so he isn’t down and out yet. Nor are the Brains, as they finally built a roaring fire.

Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where the tribes would jump into a pool of mud, cover themselves in it and carry it down a path to fill a crate. They would then pull said crate to the end of the path before forming mud balls and using them to knock over targets. And given it was for an epic trip to the Survivor spa, everyone had a laser focus. Kalaen and Max got out to an early lead for the Brains, but the Brawns were wearing more clothes and were able to use it as a scoop, dumping in huge load after huge load. Of mud, that is. The Brawn tribe had a hefty lead to start forming and tossing balls, while the Brains desperately tried to close the gap. Sadly nowhere near quickly enough, as PD secured reward for their tribe. And ideally give us a gorgeous Paulie nude scene. Hopefully. Before sending the Brawn tribe away, JLP told them to pick someone to join them and while Logan was literally in tears wanting some glam, they selected Ally to join them given she wanted to give them the snags yesterday.

And just like that, Ally, Logan is coming for you.

Brawn + Ally arrived at the spa, quickly sitting down to their meal and pouring champagne, as Ally thanked them for their kindness and got to know them. Kristin casually tried to fish for intel before Ally went all in oversharing. She started with shading Myles and Kent, before straight up telling literally the tribe who to watch out for and outlining every single alliance and Ally, you’re an absolute moron. Goodbye, I can’t wait for Logan to take her revenge. Oh and we didn’t even get Paulie naked because of her stupidity, so boo.

Back with the Brains, the tribe were far more demure as they washed off in the ocean, assuring themselves that Ally is smart enough to keep her mouth shut and be sensible. And ugh, I wish. AJ meanwhile was growing more and more nervous that Rich and Max’s chaotic energy will blow up his game, and as such, went hunting for an idol. Wanting to protect themselves, Zara, Logan and Karin joined him on the hunt in the hope that they would find it first. Sadly for them, they were not quick enough as he snatched it out from under them and gave him the hope he was looking for.

The tribes reunited with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to build a fire on a see saw while the rest of the tribe would build a cube to release a key, use the key to unlock a net and then use that to transport coconuts to a platform which they would use to toss them into a bucket to weigh down the see saw and light a flag with the fire. Well, not until after the Brawn tribe heavily implied Ally had the loosest of loose lips. After throwing her under the bus, the Brains whipped through the puzzle and got out to a massive lead, releasing their nut sack – JLP’s words – and lining up their coconuts, as Laura and Ally struggled to make fire. While Brawn’s fire was roaring, the tribe managed to close the gap and started tossing their nuts. While Ally and Laura continued to not even get a spark. Meaning Brawn easily took out victory and sent Brains back to tribal council.

Back at camp the boys were all well and truly pissed with Ally and Laura for choking, quickly locking in a plan to take a strike at one of the girls before the alliance could actually jag the numbers. Specifically they would blindside Ally for her presumed loose lips, bossing everyone around and most annoyingly, screwing up the challenge. Zara and Karin, meanwhile, were hyper focused on getting rid of Rich. The challenge being making sure all the girls were onboard with the plan. Laura continued to defend Rich which frustrated Zara and Karin, while Laura told them they were being illogical and emotional, rather than listening to them. Zara calmly explained why they’re so focused on him and that they’re sick of always talking about Rich, but not actually being allowed to take a shot because of Laura always getting her way. With Logan and Laura still wanting to save Rich, our good witch approached him to let him know that he was the girls’ target. Rich wisely pointed out the boys were voting for Ally and as such, she could easily just join them to get rid of her with them.

Zara and Karin checked in to make sure Ally was actually still wanting to get rid of Rich. They all agreed it was likely that Laura will stay with them, despite not being happy about it, so they should hold firm. Ally went to coach AJ once again, lecturing him about the fact he is likely safe but that he will exit soon after. She then told him that one wrong vote would get rid of him, so he should be extra careful tonight. As he laughed to us about the fact that Ally clearly has no idea about her surroundings and how much people want her gone. Zara tried to check in with Laura and Logan, and while Logan was keen to smooth things over, Laura ran off angrily. Sensing the alliance may not have much life, Zara and Karin went to find new allies, with Zara quickly pulling in Myles to take out Rich and form a meaningful, collaborative alliance.

Myles then went to AJ to pull him over to their side, as AJ shared that he was a little worried about Zara and Karin being too stubborn. Which feels like a false narrative from Laura, but whatever. Thankfully his trust in Myles proved stronger than his desire to get rid of Ally, so he locked in with them. Karin once again tried to make sure Laura was on board with them, who assured them she was. Zara and Ally then joined them with the latter thinking she made a killer move on the previous reward, telling everyone she assured the Brawns they could trust the girls. And that all of their alliances were locked and loaded, particularly the all girls one, which again is stupid. As is telling the girls about said stupidity.

At tribal council AJ spoke about how tribal council will finally draw a line in the sand for the tribe, given the last votes were pretty easy. Ally said that all the alliances were pretty solid, though the votes should confirm them, yes. Zara spoke about the challenge of needing to have alliances that operate as a democracy, with Logan agreeing that the vote should be pretty straightforward whether she is happy about it or not. Rich admitted he was nervous, given this vote is far less obvious than the last ones. But trust, he isn’t keen on going. Laura meanwhile shared this is one of the most pivotal votes, to her. AJ referenced his alliance, talking about wanting to find loyal people to go to the end with. A bomb squad if you will. This spooked the girls, who seemed to clock the name, with Ally obviously very vocal about being concerned about AJ.

JLP promptly announced that we’re in for a very different tribal council tonight and that instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be voting someone out of the tribe and over to Brawn. With a little scroll they would only be able to read after they left. AJ immediately volunteered to switch tribes, which Laura shut down just as quickly. Ally too was keen to go, no doubt because she told them everything about the tribe and she believed she would be in charge. She then had the nerve to say that AJ runs his mouth too much, and lol. AJ said he wanted to go because it is likely a clue to an idol and as such, he can use it to survive another night. Rich too offered himself up, leading to the girls having a group meeting to chat through the merits. After landing on Rich, they joined Rich and the boys who all locked in the vote as Ally tactlessly told AJ majority will rule and he has no say. With that the tribe voted and as expected Rich was sent packing with a Brawn buff in one hand, and the scroll in the other. As soon as the tribe exited tribal council, he pulled open the scroll where he learnt he had won safety without power for two people at the next tribal council. No matter which tribe goes to tribal council.

We checked in with the new Brawn tribe the next day where Rich was vibing, thrilled to be living in a superior camp, complete with a fire. He reassured them that he is definitely part of the tribe and won’t be going back Kelli style. And while everyone was thrilled to have a new person to hang out with, trust and believe Noonan was happy to get rid of him at the first opportunity. If he doesn’t get sent back to Brains before the next tribal council, that is. Unaware that if she pulls a Nash, he will be able to save himself and another person. Worried that his job may be to sabotage them at the next immunity challenge, they decided it was smartest to sit him out of the next immunity challenge, just to be safe.

We checked in with the Brains tribe where everyone was living for the new zen mood. Well, everyone but Karin, who was annoyed that Rich managed to survive, despite her wanting him gone, given he was the cause of division within the coven. She realised that Laura and Logan were too emotional and reactionary for her liking, so got to work locking in a more zen alliance. She and Zara caught up with Myles, who floated the idea of them working together with him and AJ for more than just taking out Ally. With the girls catching up privately to lock it all in as their main alliance. Laura and Logan meanwhile caught up to lament their losses at tribal council, though felt they played it all perfectly and that Zara didn’t. And as such, they wanted to target her. Even though they literally got their way every tribal council until the Rich vote. Logan and Laura, on the other hand, were planning to work with Max and Kaelan to take control. Logan approached Max with the idea, who was obviously thrilled, as they quickly locked in the vote against AJ. And while it looks like we’re locked in 4-4, Kaelan appears to spend more time with AJ and Myles, so it feels like we’re being sold more of an even playing field than there actually is, no?

JLP returned for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would face off in a game of Sumo at Sea. With the victors getting a little interior design pack from Ikea, including cushions and rugs. First to face off were Myles and Zaddy Paulie, with my king making quick work of our pole dancing king. Noonan and Ally were up next, with Noonan too, making quick work of the Brain. Ursula and Karin, meanwhile, gave us a legit battle as neither woman was willing to give an inch. While locked in battle for 20 minutes, Karin told Ursula to not trust Rich under any circumstances and ugh, I love it. Sadly, it ended in a draw for both of them and while it was iconic, the challenge continued. This time, in duos to speed things up. Max and Kaelan then faced off against Rich and PD, with the Brawns snagging victory after Max dropped almost instantly.

We followed the victors back to camp where Kristin rejoiced to have a little comfort in her life. They then discovered tea, coffee and biscuits, and letters from home hidden at the base of their haul. Everyone poured a drink before reading their letters one at a time, as the tribe descended into tears. None more than Paulie, who’s dad literally called him a hero for surviving the bullying he went through at school and wrote that he is so proud of him for not just overcoming but thriving. We then learnt a little more about Zaddy Paulie and ugh, I love him so damn much. Give him the win right now, you cowards!

Over at the Brains tribe, the new alliances were busy locking things in as Zara requested Myles come up with a name ASAP today. Well, after locking in his closest ally AJ, that is. AJ thankfully was keen to work with the girls, given they give him good vibes. Not wanting to rest on his laurels, Myles decided he would even potentially loop in the other girls to get rid of Max too. Worst case, though, they needed to get Kaelan on board and while he doesn’t talk much strategy, Myles was confident he would work with him, given he warned him that Kent was out to get him. Kaelan and Myles caught up at the well, thrilled to work with Karin and Zara to get rid of Max. Sadly for them, Ally, ugh, was wandering around the jungle and overheard the conversation, so immediately took the information back to Max. Who was, in a word, livid. While Max gloated to us about having an army behind him, before straight up telling Myles he is watching him.

My love JLP returned for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to swim out and collect a wooden grid before climbing up a slide to retrieve puzzle pieces and then solve the aforementioned puzzle. After Rich was forced to the sit out bench, the tribes were whisked out to the ocean to commence their swim, with the Brawns getting out to the tiniest of leads before Brains overtook them at the shore. After setting up their grids, the Brawns took back the lead as Rich tried to whisper to his bestie Max to throw the challenge as he has a massive advantage for him to use. Whether the Brains intended to throw it or not, the Brawn tribe continued to pull ahead giving Noonan and Morgan a decent advantage at the puzzle. As Myles and Logan diligently worked to close the gap, Rich kept muttering bomb squad to Max despite him having nothing to do with the success or otherwise of the challenge. Both tribes got stuck until Logan thought she had it, only to be wrong. Thankfully after Noonan figured it out, Brains almost snatched the win out from under them, until Myles dropped a tile and sent them back to tribal council.

Before returning to camp, Rich passed off the advantage to Max, giving him the express instruction to save Logan. And then muttered bomb squad multiple more times for dramatic effect. On the way back to camp, AJ whispered to Karin that he saw Rich hand over an advantage, while Ally too was terrified, given she heard him telling Max to continue their work. Which she took to mean the boys’ alliance, not his one with Logan and Laura.

Back at camp things got pretty chaotic pretty quickly, as Max summound everyone to tell them about the advantage, given everyone saw it go down anyway. He then went full Ally, sharing that Rich told him to use it to secure the alliance of boys, but he has a bigger issue he wants to deal with by taking out Myles. And to make sure he gets it done, he is going to exit tribal council with AJ, which is literally the worst decision he could make as then he can’t even vote him out. It also pissed off Logan, who thought they were aligned and the plan was to get rid of AJ, so making him immune means he has crossed her. AJ, Karin, Zara and Myles got together to figure a way out of the mess, with the girls happy to get rid of Ally given she is immovable but also runs her mouth at the drop of a hat. Plus, they think Kaelan will be thrilled to get rid of any woman, so it will be easy to get him on board.

Oh and Myles named themselves the graduates, because they’re above the high school drama. But Zara pointed out they also have the most degrees, so it makes sense for multiple reasons. After Myles pulled Kaelan into the alliance, he then caught up with Max, Logan and Laura where Max became the second person to pitch an Ally blindside to him in as many minutes. And while he thought their alliance was solid once more, the girls were pissed about the thought of getting rid of Ally. Instead, Laura now wanted to take out Zara. Presumably for reasons other than the fact Zara shops at Hermes and she is a witch. Which is now a read, given she is coming for Zara, when I would traditionally stan a witch on Survivor.

Laura’s logic was that Zara is too emotional and not logical, even though it seems like she is having quite the emotional response. Max caught up with the girls, with him completely fine with Zara going home. And to get it done, he was now planning to send Karin and Myles away from tribal council. Laura floated the plan with Kaelan and while he pretended to be onboard with the plan, he admitted to us that he is sick of being thought of as someone else’s number and as such, he was ready to make the decision that was best for him. Zara and Karin meanwhile realised something was up and that the girls were well and truly ready to put an end to the coven. So worried about Max and the advantage ruining their plans. Logan too knew Max was chaotic and his behaviour could screw things up for lots of people, and as such, vowed to just vote for whoever he wants at tribal council. As she begged him to just make a decision and stick with it, essentially. While he was just overjoyed to be the centre of attention.

At tribal council Laura spoke about the tribe being far more relaxed with Rich gone, despite being on edge. Logan admitted that Rich still looms large over the tribe given he handed Max an advantage. Very loudly, in front of everyone, AJ confirmed. Max then continued to showboat talking about how powerful he is and that he is looking forward to having some fun. He then handed the scroll over to JLP immediately with Zara talking about the fact they have plans for tribal council, but they need to see what Max actually does with the advantage before they know what they can actually pull off. Ally was confident Max would do what is best for the tribe – ugh – while Logan was worried that he would make a decision for the drama, rather than strategy and that frankly, she wished it was up to her instead.

Max then continued to be infuriating, talking about being at war with Myles because he is a snickering jungle rat. And that he would love to use the advantage to get his revenge (Side note, while calling Myles a rat seems super problematic, Myles has assured us on social that Max asked him permission before calling him any names). While Myles reiterated that the one thing about rats is that they survive. Zara suggested that Max seems to be playing emotionally, rather than strategically. He then got smarmy, talking about thinking he has something special tonight and as such, he wants to look after his alliance. While Karin told him to stop playing schoolyard games and send the damn people away.

Finally he was forced to play his advantage, sending Laura and Karin out of tribal council which is a combination that literally shocked each and every person. None more so than Logan, who was completely pissed at Max and damn, Max, you’re in danger, girl. Logan and Zara then appeared to reconnect, as Max told all the girls to vote for Myles. While Max gloated about being super confident he knows exactly what is going to happen and he is thrilled to be safe, despite being left at tribal council. With that the tribe voted and while Max was safe, he didn’t get his way, as he and Ally were gagged to see her booted from the game.

As soon as Ally arrived at Loser Lodge, she pulled me aside to let me know about the state of every relationship back at camp. In addition, she lectured me on how badly AJ had been playing that game. And while I wanted to scream, I had to admire her consistency, so pulled her in for a hug, thanked her for the comedy and celebrated her short run with a batch of Buffally Chicks in Blankettle.

Pigs in Blankets and buffalo chicken are two of my favourite things, so it is an absolute no brainer to combine them. The comfort of the sausages and flaky pastry are perfectly offset with the little bit of zing from the hot sauce. And frankly, it is perfection.

Enjoy!

Buffally Chicks in Blankettle
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 sheets puff pastry, defrosted
¼ cup Frank’s RedHot, plus extra for serving
½ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp paprika
16 chicken chipolatas
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
Blue Cheese Dressing, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut each sheet of pastry into squares, and then the squares in triangles. Like the superior primary school sandwich cut. Brush pastry with half the hot sauce and sprinkle with the garlic and onion powders, and the paprika.

Working one at a time, wrap the sausages in a triangle of pastry and transfer to a lined baking sheet, seam side down. Combine the melted butter with the remaining hot sauce and brush over the pastries.

Pop them in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Serve immediately drizzled with extra hot sauce and a vat of blue cheese dressing. Before devouring greedily, but also in a way that felt like you were lecturing someone.


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Kent Miller-Feuillendle

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor everything was on the up and up for the Brawns after winning their first immunity challenge. After a little scene with Zen talking about his hunger, the tribes arrived at the reward challenge where JLP announced that despite it only being episode three, it is a doozy. Eleven individual bowls of fries, ready for the loading. The Brawn tribe dominated the challenge 5-0, however Zen appeared to do something with his hand while wrestling Kaelan. Back at camp, Paulie found a clue to the hidden immunity idol in his bowl, so quickly went hunting while the rest of the tribe went swimming. It was then that Zen realised his hand had doubled in size. We then fast forwarded to the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see him return from medical leave with a cast on his hand due to a badly broken finger, which sadly meant he was being pulled from the game.

As everyone wiped away their tears, we did a hard pivot and turned our attention back to the immunity challenge where they would race over a series of obstacles to collect rope and bamboo. They would then use said rope and bamboo to fashion a big ol’ stick to knock a bottle off a shelf to release a key. Next, they would use said key to unlock coconuts and then use said coconuts to knock out tiles. On the first obstacle Kent almost became the second medevac as he took a hard fall on his head. Both tribes were neck and neck – no pun intended – with Kent working at a feverish pace, clearly knowing his terrible game hasn’t made him many friends. Brawns started to pull away as the Brains descended into chaos, with Rich barking orders and annoying the hell out of all the women. Somehow things got closer with both tribes shooting coconuts, as Kent proved himself valuable to the Brains knocking tile after tile. Just sadly not as quickly as Ben for the Brawns, who secured their second immunity challenge.

Back at camp Kent immediately got back to work targeting Myles, lecturing him in front of the tribe, which only made him more dislikable. As such, the dolls rightly got to work locking in a plan against Kent instead, and immediately looped in Myles. After assuring him to not worry about any other plan he hears. The Coven joined the rest of the tribe to lock in the Kent plan, which frustrated AJ, who felt it was a waste of time given he will always be a target. But given AJ is literally wearing a different outfit in his confessional, I think he will be on the wrong side of the vote tonight.

AJ pulled Myles aside to float a plan to get rid of Logan instead, given she is popular, likeable and influential. Like Shonee, remember. With Myles apparently open to it, AJ went to Kaelan before finding a potential woman to flip to his side. Deciding Ally was the most likely to jump, he checked in with her and while she was open to it, he didn’t actually name names. Sadly she went straight to Logan assuming his plan was Rich, and floated getting rid of him instead. Which Logan, obviously, was 100% fine with. She then ran the plan past Laura, unaware that she was really the plan. While Laura tried to talk her out of it, she doubled down on hating Rich so much that getting rid of him would be best for her mental health. They then hilariously caught up with AJ, who had to pretend the plan was still Kent.

AJ finally pulled Ally and Max aside, who were gagged to learn that Logan was his actual target and as such, pulled the pin in the plan and went back to getting rid of Kent. As Ally assured him she is fine to get rid of Logan, just not yet. Despite AJ begging Ally to not say anything, she immediately took the information back to Logan, who was rightly pissed and looped in Laura, begging her to flip the vote on AJ and send him home instead. Which is 100% what would happen to a poker player, no?

We finally ventured to tribal council where Kent spoke about how much easier this tribal council will be compared to their first. Logan admitted she has an idea of who is potentially aligned, but still isn’t confident in knowing who to trust. Myles spoke about being a free agent and just wanting to prove himself as such to downplay the perception that he is playing too hard. Rich shared that there are multiple people on the block tonight, with Logan coyly pointing out someone may not even know they’re on the block. As she whispered to Laura about how much she wants to see AJ go. Kent then spoke about having an exceptional read on the situation and felt it was unlikely he was being blindsided. AJ spoke about the fear of making the wrong move and not getting your target out. Which Logan laughed about, admitting she is struggling to decide whether to go for instant gratification of getting someone out or planning three steps ahead. While Laura tried to caution everyone to think their moves out carefully.

With that, obviously, the tribe voted – Kent even more obviously for Myles – before the tribe stuck to the original plan and the votes piled up on Kent. Much to his shock and the utter jubilation of everyone at home. None more so than me. As Kent arrived at Loser Lodge, however, he was actually kind of sweet, so instead, I commiserated with him about his loss. Because as a super fan, that is one thing I can relate to. As such, I toasted him living out his dream, however short it may have lasted, with a gorgeously rich Kent Miller-Feuillendle.

Like the man himself, this little treat is oh so rich. But in this instance, it is a good thing. The custard is velvety and smooth, the pastry is crisp and light, creating the perfect quick and easy dessert. Only because this is a cheats version, obviously.

Enjoy!

Kent Miller-Feuillendle
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp custard powder
1 cup milk, plus extra for glazin’
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 ½ sheets puff pastry, thawed
⅔ cup thickened cream
1 cup icing sugar
2 tsp glucose syrup
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp cocoa powder

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C.

Combine the custard powder and a quarter of the milk in a saucepan until well combined. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla and remaining milk and cook over medium heat for about five minutes, or until the custard thickens. Remove from the heat and transfer to a bowl, covering with a piece of cling film directly touching the surface and chill for a couple of hours for an hour or so.

While the custard is chilling, place the pastry on a lined baking sheet and top with a second piece of baking paper, followed by a second baking tray, and bake for 20 minutes. Remove the top trays and bake for a further five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

To make the glaze, whisk the icing sugar, glucose and melted butter in a bowl with a little bit of milk, one tablespoon at a time, until you have a thick but pourable glaze. Remove a quarter of the glaze to another bowl and whisk in the cocoa.

When you’re almost ready to start assembling, whisk the cream until stiff peaks form and fold it through the custard mixture. Cut the pastry in half using a serrated knife and place one piece on a platter. Spread with half the custard cream, top with another sheet of pastry and the remaining cream before topping with the last piece of pastry. Pour over the white glaze, spreading evenly with a spatula. Drizzle lines of chocolate glaze lengthwise along the strip, before using a skewer or toothpick to create a pattern.

Pop in the fridge to set before devouring, greedily, thinking about burning the hats of teachers.


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Alex Bacoe & Pecorino Danish

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Breakfast, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor with the clock ticking on his advantage, Ray looped in Kirby and Feras to help him convince everyone to pile their votes on him so they could super-mega idol someone from the game. Which obviously delighted both of them. With their sights set on Valeria, Kirby powered through immunity to keep it out of her hands. Ray meanwhile was busy acting super depressed to try and execute the mercy kill plan. At tribal council, Kirby gave up immunity to a nervous Rianna, which spooked Feras given it should have been irrelevant. It was all for nought, though, as Ray apologised before playing his advantage, allowing his single vote to send Valeria home.

Back at camp everyone praised Ray for such an epic move, particularly since he was able to act so upset for two days. Surprisingly, though, nobody got angry about the fact he was feigning depression particularly given Scott quit to look after his mental health. Feras meanwhile was super happy to be involved, though was hoping to avoid anyone being angry with him, so pretended to not be involved. Mark and Alex caught up, realising they now had nobody, so had to stick together. But even better, if they could pull in Feras and Ray for an all male alliance, they could take control. Though given everyone wants to work with Feras, he is definitely the belle of the ball and that isn’t as likely as they would hope.

The next day Alex and Caroline were delighting in the glow of a rainbow as Kirby was calmly swimming by herself, vibing and living her best life. And oh god, she’s getting blindsided, isn’t she? Feras joined her as they joked about how far their relationship has come, while Alex got to work trying to bond with Ray. Well, until he just upped and walked off on him. Alex wasn’t deterred, however, given he is so close to Mark. By default, given all of his other options had now gone home. Knowing the men’s alliance is still not a majority, he got to catching up with Kirby to see why they haven’t worked together for 30 days. And instead of forming a bond, Kirby kinda read him for filth for being a floater and ugh, it is iconic. But also doesn’t bode well for that sick feeling that Kirby is heading home today.

Jonathan made his triumphant debut for an epic reward challenge where they would race to collect water in a leaky bucket and then run to the shore to fill a tube. With the victor getting a trip to the Survivor spa, including a bed, lasagne, wine and chocolates. So yeah, everyone was very, very keen for victory. Alex and his speedos got out to an early lead, as Kitty nipped at his heels. Mark and Feras joined the fun, though let’s be honest, this was well and truly Alex’s challenge as he continued to pull ahead before everyone just kinda gave up. He then started filling up Mark’s tube for a bit as everyone started speculating who he would be taking on reward with him, worried about who would also be left back at camp. Oh and then he returned to filling his tube and put everyone out of their misery. After JLP gave him his choice, he followed Mark’s advice and asked Ri to join him, given she hasn’t eaten in three weeks. When he had one more choice, he selected Caroline, followed by Kirby. Which gagged each and every one of those left behind.

We followed the victors off to their reward and ugh, it truly looked delightful. They sat down to smash the food and crack the champagne before Alex had a delightful shower scene and honestly, I don’t even know what his plans are, because I was transfixed. As he shaved his chest – roughly – he asked Kirby and Ri who they felt were their biggest threats, and when they wisely kept quiet, he pointed out that he thinks Feras and Kirby have been playing the best game so far and as such, he wants to play with them and make it to the end together. He got out of the shower and smashed a little more lasagna, which ended up making him sick and with him gone, Kirby told Ri that maybe they just tell him whatever he wants to hear. Because while he hasn’t played a good game, he doesn’t need to know that.

Back at camp Mark was making the most of his time with Feras and Ray to lock in a vote against Ri, given she keeps winning endurance challenges. And is a massive support to Kirby. Mark meanwhile was more concerned about Kirby – for obvious reasons – so decided to go with the bold play, straight up saying that he would prefer Kirby go first. And while Feras still wasn’t keen, he did offer that they go for her next. They caught up with Ray, with them all agreeing that if Ri wins immunity, they will target Kirby.

Back at the spa, the women watched on as Alex struggled not to vomit before talk turned to the game. They all agreed that getting rid of Ray should be their priority, and when they suggested Feras would be angry, Kirby suggested that they just tell Feras that the vote will be a split between him and Ray so he has no choice. However when Alex went to bed, the three women agreed that getting rid of Alex is what they truly needed to prioritise.

The tribe reunited at the beach with Jonathan for the immunity challenge, where they would each have to stand on narrow pegs over the water and hold on to sandbags, with the last person standing jagging immunity. After a minute, Ray’s intrusive thoughts overcame him as he tested whether he could lean and promptly fell. At the ten minute mark it started to pour down with rain, leading Caroline and Kirby to drop out. Kitty then tapped out before the remaining four transitioned to the narrower pegs. That immediately cost Mark his spot, leaving Feras and Alex to struggle as Ri just blissed out. Meaning she is essentially going to win every second immunity challenge at this point, given they keep wheeling out this frame. After Feras dropped out, Alex and Ri continued to zen out, as Alex miraculously saved himself from falling backward at the 20 minute mark. Ri then started to talk about the fact she is a physical threat, so she may as well win the challenge given they will still think it. Which she did, as Alex dipped out.

Back at camp the tribe quickly split up, with Ri and Kirby whispering for everyone to vote out Alex. Even Alex, who straight up heard Kirby and Ri talking about him while they were in the spa on the reward. The women all got together to regroup after the reward with them all keen to get rid of Alex, particularly since they think he wants everyone to split the votes between Feras and Ray. Kirby suggested they loop in Feras, given he probably wants to get rid of Alex ASAP too. She and Ri went to tell him, as Kitty and Caroline hung back to talk about their own plans. Mark and Alex meanwhile were busy locking in a Kirby plan, with Mark just worried that Alex was too busy spiralling to think straight. Feras caught up with the boys, with everyone joyfully planning to get rid of Kirby. Though Feras cautioned that they need one more, however, the risk is that Caroline and Kitty have seemingly been growing closer with Kirby. The boys suggested talking to Caroline about growing her resume is their best hope, so sent Mark off to get to work.

While that was happening, Kirby pulled Feras aside to see if he’d be keen to join the women to get rid of Alex. She opened up about how desperate he was at the reward, which Feras assured her has made him feel confident. Ray soon joined them, with the trio agreeing to get rid of Alex, though she was worried about what Caroline would do. Which is exactly what Feras needed to hear to decide the Kirby plan really makes the most sense. We ventured back to the shelter where Alex then caught up with Caroline and Kitty, though he desperately wanted Kitty to leave them alone so he could float his real plan. Which made both Kitty and Caroline super nervous, given it is clear he was being evasive.

Caroline checked in with Mark to see why Alex was being weird, with him facilitating a sit down between Alex and Caroline. With Alex pointing out his issue with giving her a name was Kitty, given she is close with Kirby. He then pointed out that being the deciding vote for Kirby would be a huge move, but they desperately needed to keep things quiet from Kitty if it is going to work. Caroline then checked in with Feras to make sure he was definitely keen on the plan, meaning Alex’s nerves were the only thing in the way. Well, that and the fact Caroline headed off to the well with Kitty. As she assured them it was just that they desperately needed water, nothing else. Though Alex vowed that no matter what, he will be pushing for people to turn on her before they vote.

At tribal council Alex spoke about how he selected everyone to go on the reward in the hope of building relationships, though spoke about how clear it was that Ri and Kirby had zero interest in working with him or anyone else. Kirby pretended she was keen to go with their discussions at the spa, before Alex pointed out that her plan was to split the vote on Feras and Ray. She then agreed it was true, before he turned his attention to Feras, asking if he was truly planning to get rid of Kirby tonight or if he too is lying to them. Feras pointed out that Alex’s outburst could be the reason he doesn’t vote with him tonight, which only made Alex sassier, calling him delusional if he thinks Kirby has a place for him in her end game. Feras agreed that Kirby is a massive threat, though strong-arming someone into voting for her won’t actually help.

He then went in on Caroline as a superfan, pointing out she clearly needs to make a move worth getting the jury to vote for her. Kirby tried to defend herself, pointing out that while Alex views her as a threat, not everyone may agree with him. He then continued to tell Caroline that she hasn’t made a move, which annoyed her and damn, I think he has officially, single-handedly offended everyone into booting him. Kirby spoke about how Alex has been floating and as such, playing now is too little too late. Kirby started to get a little sassy, and while she told Alex he is clearly more nervous, her relaxed attitude appeared to spook people. Before Alex gave a last ditch pitch for everyone to just write her name down, while Ri, famed for botching multiple votes this season, sassed him about being able to spell. With that, the tribe voted and everyone banded together to send Alex out of the game. No doubt because of his mistakes.

Given we’re now without a speedo king, Alex followed my sobs all the way to the Jury Villa where I jumped into his arms. And stayed there, quietened and reassured for an hour or so before I could pull myself enough to thank him for a game well played. And while that is questionable, he served looks – well, one really good one – all season and as such, he deserved praise and a piping hot Alex Bacoe & Pecorino Danish.

Just like Alex, this danish is 100% delectable and has you coming back for more. And more. The delicate pastry melts away under the sharp pecorino and the salty bacon, along with the pain of realising our speedo king has fallen.

Enjoy!

Alex Bacoe & Pecorino Danish
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 batch David Croissant dough
1 large egg, whisked
8 rashers streaky bacon, diced and cooked
1 tbsp butter
1 tbsp flour
1 cup milk
1 cup pecorino cheese
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp ground black pepper
thyme, to serve

Method
The day before you want these babies, get to work prepping the David Croissant dough as per his recipe. Then fast forward 24 hours, and line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Roll out the dough into a 40x30cm rectangle and cut into 12 rectangles. Cut an oval out of the centre of half of them. Transfer the whole rectangles to a baking sheet and brush with the whisked egg followed by the hollowed out pieces. Cover loosely with plastic and leave to rest for half an hour.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Next up, melt the butter in a saucepan over low heat. Once foamy, add the flour and whisk to combine and cook for a minute until the flour is cooked off. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk until combined. Return to the heat and bring to the boil and cook, stirring, for a few minutes or until thickened. Add half the cheese, salt and pepper, stir until melted and remove from the heat.

Top the rectangles with the cheese sauce, followed by pecorino and then some bacon and pop in the oven to cook for 15-20 minutes, or until gorgeously puffed and cooked through. Serve immediately, with a sprinkle of pecorino and some thyme and devour. While salivating.


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Mayham & Cheese Pithivller

Breakfast, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 9 queens from around the globe booked their tickets to the UK for the first franchise-crossing battle. Kinda like the Avengers for the gays or Ultimate Girls Trip for performers. And let’s just say, it started with a bang as Jimbo, Pangina and Janey demolished the first half of the season and put their little franchises on the map. Tragically, however, they went back-to-back-to-back, leaving four of the five Ru girls in the cast to make it to the finale in the form of Juju, Baga, Blu and Mo Heart. And despite Mo being Mo and Blu being Blu, the little doll that could from Northern Ireland won the lip sync for the crown and found herself the inaugural Queen of the Mothertucking World.

Not to be confused with the Queen of the Motherpucking World.

First to make their triumphant return this go around is the icon of UK Season 2, Tia Kofi, who was puzzled by being invited back despite the fact she is a killer confessionalist. She was joined by Down Under’s own Hannah Conda and yeah, she is ready to have some fun this year and I look forward to her kicking it in the dick once more. Arantxa rang in her own arrival from Spain, literally, giving charm, fun and yes, I am here for everything about her. Arantxa quickly opened up about coming out as trans since her OG season before a very hard pivot into talking about the fact she is not actually sure whether Ru exists. Which is relatable. Mayhem Miller was next to arrive, questioning why she opted to come back, even though we know she just wants to bring the party.

Next up, Choriza bought the sausage to represent the UK with a little of her heart left in Spain. Oh and she is vibing for her own glow up and is ready to thrive, giving Nadja from What We Do In The Shadows energy. La Grande Dame gave the most iconic entry of all time, screaming France. And yeah, Ru is going to love her because she is stupid. While also being so damn gorgeous. Marina Summers came in representing the Philippines and given she looks like that, and is ready to chop the colonizers, I am here for everything about her. JB is once again in the house and is still a delusional delight, so werk queen. They were joined by Holland’s own Keta Minaj and hot damn, I forgot how hot she was. Choke me daddy, etc. Scarlet Envy arrived dripping in red, ready to act up a storm, turn tricks and grab a crown. All while being the drama. And then rounding out the cast was the UK’s very own Porkchop, Gothy Kendoll – roar – looking more expensive than 50P.

As the dolls kikied, a surprise 12th queen was unveiled as Raven stomped the runway. Though after she realised Jujubee was missing, she stepped aside and instead introduced RuPaul before going back to her home backstage. For the non Ru girls, they were overwhelmed to finally get in front of the mother of the franchise, as she assured them it would be a fair playing field for all. Despite how last season made it look. After recapping the rules – top two lip sync for the win and eliminate one of the bottom queens – she then gagged them by announcing that for the first time in UK herstory, the winner would bag herself 50,000 pounds. She then added that for their first maxi challenge, they would be performing in the Queens’ Variety Show before disappearing to hang with Raven and Michelle.

The dolls finally made it to the Werk Room where Hannah was gagged by the sheer size of it – obviously – before they grabbed their bags, found a station and began de-dragging. Hannah caught up with Marina, La Grande Dame, Keta and Jonbers, asking if the money changed the way they were planning to play the game. On the other side of the room, Team USA were busy gossiping, with Mayhem not sure about anyone’s name, as Scarlet marvelled at how good Hannah looked. Though admitted everyone looked good. Well, almost everyone, as she looked Mayhem up and down.  Hannah and La Grande Dame were quickly became friends, while Arantxa, Marina and Keta were bonding over being the sole girls of their franchises and hoping to find a way to have fun and give themselves. Team UK quickly locked in an alliance before they realised they only had one challenge win between them. Which is ironic. Even more so, since they found it so funny. Assuming it proves that personality clearly took them far.

Which Gothy giggled at, given she is literally the Porkchop of UK.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone buzzing as they split up to get prepared for the talent show. With Tia continuing to be the most relatable, hoping it isn’t just 11 lip syncs, as that is always boring. Keta and Marina, meanwhile, were looking forward to representing their countries and putting Filipino and Dutch drag on the map. Hannah was excited to do her first talent show, while Mayhem was just hoping to not forget the lyrics to her performance like she did during her first one. She opened up to Hannah about how she has had to pivot her drag style due to long COVID, so the dolls may be surprised by her number. While Hannah assured her she is confident she will kick it in the dick, given she is an icon who essentially runs L.A. That being said, she may be an icon, but the colloquialisms of our fair country seem to have confused her, as she wondered how a kick to the dick could possibly be a good thing. Jonbers and Scarlett meanwhile admitted they were planning to give Ru all the comedy, knowing that is key to making it far.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by honorary gay icon Richard E. Grant as Choriza opened the Queens’ Variety Show with all the energy as she gave a very Spanish lip sync to her original song. Which was kinda like Adriana from Real Housewives of Miami, but gayer and more fun. Scarlet meanwhile did a little boudoir song and dance about dishing out bad advice and lies, which was so fun and cute. La Grande Dame’s talent was hard to describe, as she gave weird noises and beats, bad dancing and then a runway and yeah, it was stunning. Like, so demented and so stunning. Gothy meanwhile lip synced to an original song before offering a literal glow up as she danced with and ate fire. Shocking even herself in the process. Marina then brought down the house with a stunning lip sync to her own song. She hit every line, she vogued, she twirled ribbons and the song was a legitimate bop. So yeah, just hand her the win, ok?

Keta gave a demented Alice in Wonderland performance which was trippy perfection before lip syncing, flipping and giving reveal after reveal. And even gymnastics. And it was special, k? Mayhem then gave the polar opposite, giving a comedic guided meditation. That is until she started giggling at the second joke and straight up forgot the rest of her lines. Hannah then gave legit talent, tickling the ivories and singing live and hot damn, when did she become charming? Oh, wait, the piano was a fake out. Though the song and singing were great, so well done. Jonbers then gave a song about fashion, like Milk’s talent, if Milk was funny. Arantxa meanwhile played into the fact nobody can say her name with a dream state orgasm while lying on the pit crew as she called everyone idiots. And yeah, I love it. Tia then sang live too and honestly, it was a bop. I mean, aside from Mayhem, was this just good across the board?

On the Queen and Country runway, Scarlet did an ode to Drop Dead Gorgeous with the Mount Ru-shmore headpiece and yeah, give her a win for that alone, TBH. Keta was perfect as a milk maid who can milk me, right now, please. She then revealed an Indonesian witch and yeah, Holland is always going to give us everything. Jonbers meanwhile served slutty leprechaun, complete with a clover headpiece, Arantxa was a delightfully pink flamenco doll that you sit on the TV, apparently. Tia meanwhile served her first stunning look as she rocked a glamorous gown combining her Nigerian and UK roots.

Marina was perfection in a glamorous rice farmer inspired look, Choriza served Ru Britannia as a knight and Mayhem gave Lady Liberty, serving all the curves. Gothy was then adorable as she served King’s Guard, while also clearly being in awe of the fact she was invited back for a second go. La Grande Dame was perfection in a gown of a frog killed by the Eiffel Tour. Before Hannah gave a Priscilla inspired frill-neck lizard, which showcased first nations artists and called for a treaty. Once again reminding us she has learnt and grown from her past mistakes.

Keta, Jonbers, Arantxa, Tia and Hannah were deemed safe and sent to the back of the stage before the judges read Scarlet for not giving enough in the performance, given the idea was solid. Though they loved the look. Marina received wall to wall praise for literally everything she served; killer looks, high energy performance perfection and even some casual education about how rice grows for Alan. Choriza’s energy was praised for opening the show so strongly and they loved that she gave such a camp, gorgeous look. Mayhem, obviously, was read for flubbing literally all the lines in her talent show, though they lived for her runway. Gothy meanwhile was praised for such a strong glow up, though they felt she still wasn’t confident enough. Particularly not to make fire dancing work. Though they lived for her look. While La Grande Dame received wall to wall praise for being so stupid and so polished and oh so perfect. And that isn’t even taking into account how strong her runway was.

Obviously Marina and La Grande Dame were announced as the top two of the week before Choriza and Scarlet were sent to safety, leaving Mayhem and Gothy up for elimination. As the dolls ventured backstage to untuck, they grabbed their drinks and toasted Marina and Dame for landing on the top. Or kicking it in the dick, if you will. Scarlet meanwhile checked in on Mayhem, who had a good attitude about being in the bottom, realising that laughing at herself straight up cost her. Gothy on the other hand was worried about being in the bottom in the first episode two seasons in a row, before the winner’s asked for one on one time with their bottoms.

Marina caught up with Mayhem, who quickly pointed out her performance wasn’t bad, she just made mistakes. Which I guess is the only argument she really could make, so werk. When Marina didn’t seem open to saving her, however, Mayhem floated the idea of an alliance and vowed to help her make it to the end. Grande Dame meanwhile was checking how Gothy was feeling, with her disappointment for the repeat bottom, as La Grand Dame admitted she actually enjoyed her performance. Despite losing an eyelash to the flame. She then went for the emotion, pointing out that Mayhem has so much experience and should know better, while this is her second episode ever of Drag Race. The safe girls questioned how the top girls were planning to play it, as Mayhem took her alliance proposition over to La Grande Dame and honestly, I feel like neither of the queens are taking it seriously. Gothy meanwhile continued to lean into her heart with Marina, reiterating she knows she needs to give the judges more of herself, but she assured her that she will be able to overcome the nerves and shine.

Marina and La Grande Dame grabbed their lipsticks and headed out the mainstage before doing battle to Dreamer by Livin’ Joy. And as you can imagine, both the dolls absolutely devoured. La Grande Dame served humour and used every inch of her 7 feet to her advantage while Marina was all energy, as she hit every moment of every letter. And as such, Marina rightly took out victory before Mayhem and Gothy took their places on stage and Marina announced that Mayhem would be the Gothy Kendoll of the season. Sparing our sweet underdog and allowing her another chance to shine.

When she arrived backstage, Mayhem was in great spirits, despite her loss, knowing that she straight up lost because she found herself to be too damn funny. Which in itself, is too damn funny. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for coming back for another iconic run. As they may keep getting shorter, but she always manages to leave a mark with whatever time she has. Obviously Mayhem always manages to bring the party, no matter what the situation, she I toasted her icon status and sent her on her way with a deliciously hot Mayham & Cheese Pithivller.

Don’t get your hopes up! Despite the name, this isn’t exactly a fancy dish. Essentially just a textured little pie, this pastry melts in your mouth as the ham and cheese serve perfect French brunch. Second only to La Grand Dame, obvi.

Enjoy!

Mayham & Cheese Pithivller
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
25g butter
25g flour
1 cup milk
salt and pepper, to taste
⅛ tsp nutmeg, finely grated
200g gruyere cheese, grated
2 sheets puff pastry
12 slices ham
1 egg, whisked

Method
Melt the butter in a pan over low heat and once it is starting to foam, whisk in the flour and cook for a couple of minutes, or until it is cohesive and cooked off. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk. Return to the heat, crank up to medium and cook, stirring, until it starts to thicken. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and add a pinch of nutmeg. Fold through half the cheese and stir until melted. Decant into a lined shallow baking dish, cover directly with skin and pop in the fridge to chill.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut the puff pastry into a 20 and a 21 centimetre circle. Pop the smaller one on a lined baking tray. Layer the base with a third of the ham, leaving a 2cm border around the edge. Top with a layer of chilled bechamel, then a third of the cheese. Repeat the process until you’re out of ham and cheese. Brush the edges with the egg and top with the second disc of pastry, pressing the edges of each disc of pastry together to seal. Trim excess pastry from the edges.

Using a knife, gently scallop for creative flair before brushing with egg wash and popping in the oven to bake for 30 minutes, or until golden. Then carve and devour.


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Cottage Topieas Grant

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pie, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways were marooned on the island of Samoa, split into tribes based on their levels of success or application of rules. Honestly, it is still kinda confusing, TBH. Despite the Titans implying strength, they bombed back-to-back-to-almost back immunity challenges, until the Rebels felt it was a good idea to throw number three. You see, the Cuddle Crew – aka the muscled up quartet who are making a play for showmances – felt their strength was enough to carry the tribe and they could afford to lose a challenge and get rid of Kelli. Presumably so they could get some sleep. Back at camp after the challenge, the cool kids thought they were in control, particularly after Peta jagged an idol. Kirby meanwhile wasn’t happy with the plan to get rid of Kelli, so brought the rest of the tribe together to blindside the Cuddle Crew, given 8 is more than 4. At tribal council, though, Kirby  voted with them so they felt they had an ally. Which went off without a hitch as Peta was shown the door with an idol in her pocket.

The next day Kelli was still all energy, no doubt emboldened by the fact she survived tribal council. We finally got to meet Aileen, who opened up about feeling like she would be in charge of the tribe before the game, but thus far, she is overwhelmed by being surrounded by such big personalities. And that is not just Kelli. She opened up about feeling like she has let her family down by not going to an ivy league school, however, was proud to have found success her own way. Which is a lot of getting to know you, meaning she is either out tonight, or is pulling off a big move. So I guess, either way, the Rebels will be back at tribal council tonight.

We checked in with the Titans where things were very zen as everyone had a leisurely morning after their night off. Viola was teaching people how to dance, while Caroline was proud that the Middle Aged Mafia were able to take control and she was able to defy the odds of the older woman archetype. We then learnt a little more about her career as a midwife and how it set her up to know when things could potentially go wrong. Which made her trust her gut when she felt Mark was growing closer to the two Vs, and as such, watched them like a hawk. Sadly she wasn’t stealth about it though, so Valeria instantly clocked it and wondered what the hell her problem was. Valeria found Mark to see if he knew why Caroline was acting weird, warning him that she may need to be dealt with sooner rather than later.

Over at the Rebels Alex was fully aware that throwing the challenge was a bad idea, so instead of gloating like he had planned, he was stuck sucking up to everyone and making sure they knew they had a friend in him. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Kirby was thrilled that her plan went off without a hitch. Well, almost, as Garrick confronted her about why she voted with the Cuddle Crew. In front of Kelli, no less. He then exited in tears, heartbroken by the betrayal, while Feras was simply annoyed to be played and motivated to see her sneakiness and raise it. He then went for a wander through the jungle where he discovered a locked box, but given he clearly didn’t have the key, he covered it up and vowed to return ASAP, given he knew it had to hold something powerful.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for a reward challenge where they would face off two at a time, racing to ring a bell, while also grappling sumo at sea style. And given the first tribe to 3 won a massive grazing plate, everyone was ready to fight. First up were Tobias and Feras were quickly felled by Jaden and Nathan, despite Nathan literally almost drowning for a couple of seconds. Caroline and Viola did battle with Kirby and Rianna, with Rianna absolutely demolishing and winning before anyone realised it had started. Eden and Kitty faced Kirby and Garrick, with Kirby proving to be a lucky charm as she jagged another point before Winna and Mark were defeated by Tobias and Scott who scored reward for the Rebels.

They returned to camp and immediately got to smashing the snacks with everyone forgetting the drama of the day before. That is until they noticed three keys sitting on the table and the calm was broken up as everyone speculated what they could be for. Kirby was wise, telling the tribe they should split into three groups to go hunt for whatever the treasure is. Feras sprung into action, pulling Garrick and Raymond aside to go hunt with him, knowing he could trust them. As Ray was running interference, Feras and Garrick unlocked an idol and a key with a note directing them to give it to the other tribe. Tragically as he was reading the note, Alex wandered up and interrupted the celebrations. Which obviously left him stressed, as he tried to figure out a way out of it. As such, he went back to camp and read the note for everyone, hiding the fact he had an idol, offering to empty his bag and pockets to prove it.

While everyone said they believed him, their faces said otherwise. Alex even pulled him aside to double check, as Feras stuck to his story and Alex assured him he believed it, despite both of them knowing it was all lies. Resulting in Feras deciding Alex now needs to be the next one out.

The tribes joined Jonathan on the beach for the latest immunity challenge where Feras asked the Titans if they had found the treasure box which they assumed was a troll, as the Rebels joined in the sledging. But back to the challenge. The tribes would face off in rounds of aquatic dodgeball with the first tribe to three jagging immunity. Kirby, Feras, Raymond and Aileen faced off against Nathan, Viola, Kitty and Mark as Feras looped Mark in on the box as they wrestled before Nathan made quick work of knocking out the Rebels and scoring the first point for the Titans. Tobias, Sarah, Garrick and Rianna made quick work of Caroline, Valeria, Winna and Eden to tie things up, before Kirby won the battle of the AFL players opposite Nathan, giving Rebels the lead. Eden, Winna, Viola and Mark evened things up after Rianna tried to eliminate Eden, who was already eliminated, allowing Winna to single handedly keep them in it. Before Charles, Caroline, Valeria and Jaden owned the court and won immunity for the Titans.

Back at camp the Rebels were gutted to technically lose their first immunity challenge, lamenting how close they came to victory. After pleasantries, everyone split up to start scrambling, with Tobias confident that being strong, popular and a hard worker means he is guaranteed to be safe. Which didn’t bode well for the first three boots, but you do you boo. As he tended to the fire, Aileen decided that cutting the arrogant still needed to be the name of the game, pulling the mega alliance aside to lock in a vote split on Alex and Tobias, forcing Sarah to decide which of her allies go home. As is becoming the pattern, Alex interrupted things though could tell by the silence he should still be worried. Aileen and Kelli went to fill Kirby in, with her happy to go along with it. Sadly, it was that moment that Kelli decided to spiral and worry that maybe, just maybe, she will catch some strays.

The boys and Rianna were still sitting in silence around the well, before Feras opted to suggest that the tribe could unite to get rid of Kelli. And given that is literally his dream, Alex was all in. To Feras’ face, that is, as instead, Alex wanted to try for a sneaky little blindside of one of the power players. Sarah meanwhile was checking in with Kirby and Kelli, with Tobias and Alex quickly joining them to float the idea of blindsiding Feras. After splitting up, Sarah grew paranoid about Feras playing the idol they think he has, though Alex assured her that he would be too proud to play his idol. By the shelter, Feras grew nervous about trusting Kirby and Ri after the move they pulled at the previous tribal council, and despite the fact Aileen and Rianna assured him he doesn’t need to worry, he was still clearly spooked about going home with an idol in his pocket.

At tribal council Feras spoke about his shit stirring at the challenge, hoping that mentioning the chest would be enough to create a little chaos. Aileen agreed that it was enough to sow confusion, with Kelli admitting stirring the pot is literally her passion. Alex spoke about how Kelli reminds him of his mother and like her, they butt heads from time to time. With Kelli laughing about how she isn’t bothered by it, giving she doesn’t get pressed, but he does. On the love to hate scale, both admitted it will be hard to get things to the love end of the spectrum. Talk turned to the previous tribal council, with Alex admitting the blindside hurt and as such, he cautioned everyone to do something if they are nervous. Tobias admitted he is feeling pretty good, given he cooked everyone dinner and allowed the chaos to happen. Sadly for him though, Kelli and Feras felt it was a little arrogant and rude.

Kirby spoke about how quickly things change, while Rianna was just hopeful to be on the right side of the numbers given all the names she heard that afternoon. Feras started to grow nervous about the vote, feeling just a little too easy, which Garrick agreed with, begging everyone to make the choice to unite the tribe. After a sneeze from Kelli, the tribe voted as Feras took off his jumper to show off his idol, before promptly playing it. Sadly it wasn’t necessary, however, as Kirby and Rianna stood with the outcasts and split the vote between Alex and Tobias. Well almost, as Kelli flipped her vote last minute and eliminated Tobias without forcing Sarah to make the choice.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge Tobias was well and truly confused, given he is totally likeable and didn’t bother scrambling pre-tribal council. Which always screams, I am a great option for you to work with down the line! Obviously I unleashed, Tyra-style, given he is a totally zaddy and while he didn’t rock a speedo like our himbo kings, I would have been happy to have more episodes to look at him. But no, he gave Kelli nothing, and she opted she would have better luck with Alex. As I descended into tears, he pulled me in for a massive hug and apologised for relying on that body, and given it was a reference to Drag Race, I instantly flipped, forgave him and toasted his week with a freshly baked Cottage Topieas Grant.

There is nothing quite like a perfectly portioned little cottage pie to make you forget your troubles. Flakey pastry, rich meat and the creamiest of creamy mashes? Before you even add the cheese, it is glorious.

Enjoy!

Cottage Topieas Grant
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
500g lamb mince
¼ cup flour
2 cups chicken stock
400g diced tin tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato sauce
1 ½ tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 zucchini, grated
½ cup diced carrots
2 sheets shortcrust pastry
3-4 cups Gabriel Mash
2 cups cheddar cheese, grated

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, stirring occasionally, for 4 minutes or until soft. Add the garlic and cook for a minute, before stirring in the mince, breaking up with a wooden spoon to avoid lumps, for about five minutes, or until cooked through.

Sprinkle the flour over the mince mixture and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Gradually add the stock while stirring constantly. Followed by the tin tomatoes and sauces. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until thickened and reduced. Then and only then, stir in the zucchini and carrots. Remove from the heat

Cut each pastry sheet in quarters and press into individual pie dishes. Prick the bases with a fork, line with some baking sheet and fill with pastry weights and blind bake for 10 minutes before removing the pastry weights and cooking for a further couple of minutes to brown.

Divide the meat between the 8 prepared pastry cases, top with a layer of mash and finish with a sprinkle of cheese. Transfer the dishes to a baking sheet and pop in the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and set. Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slathering with some tomato relish and devouring through the pain.


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Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Austin and Dee were slowly but surely falling in love, forming an unbreakable alliance in the process alongside their fellow Rebas. When Drew decided it was time to get rid of Julie, he told Austin, reiterating that Dee can’t find out in the process. Obviously he told her, given he is smitten, and she immediately told Julie, directing Julie to play the idol she stole from Austin to get out Emily. And while Julie was tempted to take a shot at someone else and solidify her game, she ultimately stuck to her bestie Dee’s plan and eliminated Drew’s second bestie and our queen, Emily.

Back at camp everyone was awkward AF until Katurah congratulated Julie for saving herself. Julie meanwhile was trying to contain her excitement, though pretending to be annoyed at Dee for ‘blindsiding’ her to keep their closeness hidden. Austin meanwhile was glad that he didn’t have to waste his amulet, meaning he has guaranteed safe this episode. So swoon. Dee on the other hand was giving an Oscar winning performance, pretending to be gutted that Julie played her idol and was now worried she would now be Julie’s target. Dee and Austin caught up, with her assuring him she never told Julie, before they locked in a final three alliance. Drew dropped by, happily believing Julie’s reads are on point and that somebody’s acting wasn’t. Julie then arrived and made things awkward, questioning when they gave up on the Reba 4 and while it was cute, Drew couldn’t even look her in the eye. So goodbye Drew, I guess?

The next day Katurah got up early to make a start on finding the replaced idol to block Julie from getting it. Sadly for her, Dee and Austin realised she was awake and as such got hunting themselves. And while she didn’t find an idol, Austin found her and made things super awkward. Despite her explaining she was just trying to make sure Julie couldn’t find anything, he cautioned that spooking Julie could lead to her hunting even harder. Everyone returned to camp with Drew and Julie catching up to clear the air, as Drew pretended Reba 4 making it to the end is still viable, while she pointed out that she just doesn’t know how to trust him. Drew, on the other hand, told us that he is just swallowing his rage and still plans to get rid of her next. After delivering Drew back to camp, Julie asked to talk to Dee and both of them acted angry as they scurried away from camp before they started laughing at how well they managed to pull off the blindside. Dee laughed about swearing on everyone in her life and how she is still close with everyone, assuring Julie that Drew is the one coming for her and as such, they need to rally new numbers to get rid of him. Immediately.

The tribe met up with Probst for an epic reward challenge where they would race from the ocean and then barrel roll through a course to collect keys which they use to unlock a slide puzzle. With the first person to win scoring an epic picnic on a sandspit in the middle of the ocean. Which they will arrive at by helicopter. Austin powered out to an early lead with everyone nipping at his heels to varying degrees of success. Drew was first to close the gap, leaving the besties to fight it out on the puzzle, as everyone slowly made their way to fighting with them. Before Austin solved the puzzle out of nowhere and snatched reward. Obviously Probst asked him to select a friend to go with him, opting for Dee before Probst gave him one other person, which was Katurah, to keep Drew and Julie back at camp to guarantee nobody starts throwing out his name. Given they’re focused on getting each other out.

Back at camp, the world’s most awkward throuple popped on a pot of rice and lamented how shitty it was to miss out. Even though they all understand why Austin didn’t choose them. Julie awkwardly told Drew she could go grab some peppers with Jake to make sure Drew’s babysitting isn’t ruined. As Drew tossed the lid of the pot into the shore, the duo were busy hunting for idols and causing chaos and yeah, I love that for them. As they returned to the shelter, the helicopter did a flyby to prove they weren’t on reward, with Drew continuing to be salty.

On the helicopter, the trio were giddily enjoying the ride as Katurah realised she was third wheeling as Dee and Austin held hands and rubbed knees, and ugh, it was sweet and I love this story and am a little shocked it took so long for us to get here. Was the love story happening from the first episode? I want to know and I want them to get married, Boston Rob and Amber style. Just as they decreed. I mean, the supercut of the two of them blushing, talking about how much they love each other was adorbs, and I love love, ok?

Back at camp Drew was still miserable as they finally got to work cooking the rice, as Jake pretended to be going to get changed so he could hunt for an idol. Sadly for him, he found something, however it was just a clue. Directing him to find the idol in a secret compartment of the raft. He then stripped down to his underwear to keep his story up as he finally grabbed the idol, vowing to leverage it to earn him votes at the final tribal council.

The tribe came together with Probst for the latest immunity challenge where they would use a leg to balance a ball on a long paddle, with the last one standing guaranteeing themselves a spot in the final five. And given the paddle has a lip, I honestly don’t see how this is that difficult. And as soon as I wrote that, Julie and Jake dropped back to back within minutes. Katurah was next to go, followed by Drew after an epic save around the seven minute mark, leaving Dee and Austin to battle it out. With the lovebirds being shady about how easy they are finding the challenge. After surpassing the dreamteam’s winning time of 21 minutes, Austin started to wobble and dropped while Dee just did not move, earning herself immunity as Austin hobbled over to congratulate his girlfriend.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Dee on her epic victory as the lovebirds joked about being desperate to beat each other in every challenge. As Julie wandered off, Drew and Austin locked in Jake and Katurah on the Julie vote. Sadly for the boys, Jake knew he needed to do something bigger if he wants to win and as such, pulled Julie aside to float a Drew blindside instead. Which she was obviously thrilled about. Julie knew that Dee would also be down to write Drew too, though had to pretend it would be a harder sell to get majority. Jake quickly looped in Katurah who was down and while Katurah was confident she could convince Dee to join them, Jake didn’t want to get her onboard until after a tie, so she can’t claim the move as her own. Sadly for him, however, Katurah went to Dee and suggested that she would love to get rid of Drew giving her yet another feather in her cap.

Dee then pulled Drew aside to talk about how cleanly the merge has gone for him, loving how closely he and Austin have worked together, looking towards greats like JT and Stephen, and Tyson and Gervase. As he hoped it would all stay together so they can make it to the end. Dee and Austin caught up by the shore, with Dee worried about whether she should loop him in on the blindside, given he could easily play his idol for Drew and pull off the move she did just last week. Leaving her to battle between her head and her heart.

At tribal council Austin spoke about how grateful he was to not get much blowback for picking Katurah to go on reward and leave the kids to babysit. Julie joked about her kids turning on her, while Katurah spoke about how well the tribe are compartmentalising given they like each other but are all fighting hard to win. Drew and Dee spoke about how the relationships are also making things more difficult, as everyone is also lying to each other. Drew meanwhile shared that if he makes it through tonight, he feels like he has a very clear path to the end. Which Julie pointed out was a blessing, given she can’t even see how she could possibly get to the four let alone three. Before Drew gave a lovely analogy about how difficult Julie’s path is to the end, while Julie made a plea for everyone to play smart. Talk turned to how people are now thinking about who they want to face at the end, with Dee admitting she has a plan but knows that it is unlikely for anyone to get the exact final three they’re hoping for.

With that the tribe voted, Austin played his idol for himself and his closest ally not called Dee, Drew found himself blindsided from the game. As Austin looked on at Dee, heartbroken. Before we could find out whether it was the end of my favourite lovers, I ventured to Ponderosa to try and cheer up Drew because he was, in a word, pissed. Super pissed. I tried to pull him in for a hug to assure him that going out just before the finale is generally better to being cut first in the finale, however given he was so confident in his path forward, he wasn’t having it. That is until he had a Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish or five.

The earthy pistachio and tart, juicy plums work perfectly to counteract the crisp, fresh pastry. Flavourful, decadent and melt in your mouth, these danishes have the power to turn around even the worst of moods.

Enjoy!

Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g pistachios
250g unsalted butter, at room temperature
250g raw caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 sheets good-quality butter puff pastry, quartered
8 davidson plums, pitted and sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 200ºC. Pop the nuts on a baking tray and toast in the oven for 5-10 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool (though leave the oven on).

Once the nuts have cooled a little, pop 200g of them in a food processor and blitz until they have formed a meal-like consistency and no further. Add the butter, sugar, vanilla and eggs and blitz until well combined.

To assemble, cut the squares of pastry into circles, spoon a dollop of the pistachio mixture in the middle and top with some plum, leaving a 2cm rim around the edge. Roughly chop the remaining nuts and sprinkle over the top. Pop in the oven and bake for twenty minutes, or until golden, puffed and crisp. Then, obviously, devour.


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Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Snack, Sweets

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls were gagged to have a week one reprieve from eliminations. Sadly for them, there was no such safety net when it came to using pet supplies to pull together a gown. Edward Enninful and dog Ru dropped by to kiki with the dolls which led to an epic fight between besties and flatmates, Cara and Tomara. And while they managed to squash the beef, it feels like they are here to keep us fed. Banksie slayed the runway from start to finish and took out her first win. While at the other end of the pack Naomi was a mess and Alexis made questionable choices, leading to the latter being defeated by the northern queen and sent out as the Gothy of the season.

Backstage the dolls toasted their fallen sister Alexis, with everyone wishing she could see the star that she is, because if she had just a little more confidence, she could have stayed. They sat down to kiki, congratulating Banksie on a job well done with her becoming a monster, ready to win any and all challenges. DeDe meanwhile was just thrilled to get some positive critiques, as did Tomara who was shocked to land in the top thanks to hot glue and a prayer. Talk turned to Cara and Tomara’s fight and how Ru even brought it up on the runway, with Cara admitting she is now chill and just needed to get it out. And while Vicki and Banksie tried to keep the drama alive, the housemates kept things chill as they assured everyone they may fight, but that is family.

The next day the odd framing miraculously ended as we got to enjoy full group shots as the sisters spoke about their excitement for the week ahead. Naomi meanwhile opened up about how a tit-bang went wrong and she now has knee troubles. Like many a queen before her. Ru dropped by before she could go the way of Victoria, Eureka and Silky to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, they’d be forming girl groups. And rocking their new singles – Don’t Ick My Yum – on the mainstage. Oh and the dolls had the power to select their own groups, meaning Cara, Tomara, DeDe, Michael and Vicki ran to each other, leaving Kate, Ginger, Banksie and Naomi as the leftovers. Despite feeling a little unwanted, Ginger joked that they give brunch. And werk, I live.

The bands split up to work through their lyrics with the popular dolls feeling very confident, while Michael warned them that underdogs and funny people are something Ru loves and they need to not lose sight of things. While the other dolls were excited to lean into the comedy and for Kate, read the other band for filth since they’re made up of only icks. Apparently. The popular dolls then named themselves Fierce Force Five, while the northern gals named themselves the M-52s in honour of the highway north. And rock lobsters, obviously.

Fierce Force Five were first up to record with the voice – Ru’s words – Michelle Visage and TBH, they were all very good. As were their demented icks, though who would have guessed DeDe would be the relatable icon that hates loud chewers on account of her being a loud chewer. Even Cara, who was struggling through her second puberty, but please, she is all energy and we know she will slay. They traded out with the M-52s, with the dolls just having so much fun. Full of jokes and um, which one is the fake out edit because they all seem good?

They reset the mainstage as the dolls got to work on their choreography with Cara taking the lead and making it dead serious as they hit every line and lived their girl group fantasy.  And she ruled with an iron fist and while there was almost a full blown fight, Tomara assured Cara that she will get the moves down and that Cara just needs to calm down. Meanwhile the M-52s realised how much pain Naomi’s knee was in, with the dolls trying to figure out a way to help her out. Despite not feeling confident, Banksie took the lead as Cara kindly offered advice from the wings while the rest of her team begged her to keep quiet.

Elimination Day arrived with Fierce Force Five full to the brim with confidence, while the M-52s were clearly nervous. Given they were already struggling before Naomi had to pop herself on a couch as she couldn’t stand on her knee. Talk turned to the pop icon runway with everyone excited to pay homage to the musicians that made them feel good about themselves as young queer people. Cara meanwhile opened up about realising she was trans and how Nicole Schwerzinger was a beacon of hope for her growing up and who she aspired to be. She then gave an impassioned speech about education and the importance of visibility and knowledge, and how different her journey could have been if it was available and ugh, crown her now as she is an icon.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the panel by Queen Sophie Ellis-Bextor as Fierce Force Five debuted their version of Don’t Ick My Yum and yeah, they were good. Everyone had energy and hit every damn lyric, but it was clearly Cara and Tomara’s show as they gave sultry songstresses, complete with a powerful message for the latter. Backstage the other dolls were proud of their rivals, though clearly nervous about landing in the bottom. That being said, The M52s slayed and TBH, the use of the couch was iconic. I mean, Ginger played Naomi’s foot as a saxophone, damn it. Plus, they were legit good and leant into the fact they couldn’t exactly dance and that is something I admire.

On the Night of 1000 Pop Icons runway, Vicki was a star as Freddie Mercury, serving sex and camp in equal measure. DeDe was an icon as my dear friend Nicki Minaj – she was funny, too – Cara was perfection as Beyonce at Coachella, Tomara was so damn sexy in honour of Elvis – by way of Demi, according to Ru – while Michael was just so good as a frankensteined version of the Spice Girls. Banksie was glorious as Bowie – and oh so perfectly self-cast – Naomi slayed as Lemonade Beyonce, Ginger was a camp showgirl in honour of Elts before Kate closed the show in honour of Shania Twain. And let’s just say, that does impress me much.

The M52s were deemed safe and sent to untuck before Ru congratulated the Fierce Force Five. They were then gagged to learn that despite the win, only one of them will snatch a badge and it would be decided by a lip sync between the top two. Vicki received praise for her stunning vocals and bringing pasties to music. And they loved the glam of the outfit. DeDe meanwhile was praised for being so much fun through the performance and on the runway, for giving the Baby Spice of the group. Cara rightly received wall to wall praise for carrying the dolls through the performance and being, well, the Beyonce of the group. Tomara too was beloved, for giving slutty and sass on stage, though was read for not dragging it up enough on the runway. They lived for everything Michael did, though cautioned her to put down the glitter. Though they did love her demented take on the Spice Girls.

Backstage the safe girls were shocked and excited to be safe, speculating whether the other group had won or whether they were a combination of tops and bottoms. After they came together, DeDe shared how thrilled she was to be in the top again, as the rest of the dolls wanted her to focus on someone else. The top dolls spoke about how disappointed they were not to be able to share the win like Girl Groups of seasons past. Talk turned to The M52s with everyone praising the couch-ridden Naomi before talk turned to how shady Banksie is. 

Ultimately Cara and Tomara were deemed the best of the week, battling it out for victory to Becky Hill and David Guetta’s Remember – aka a bop from my pilates classes, FYI. And damn, it was easy to see why they were the top two divas, continuing their epic run and turning a show. Though rightly, victory went to Cara who was dripping joy and talent all over the stage and again, ugh, she is a star and I stan.

Backstage Cara and Tomara were feeling all of their oats, though DeDe was growing just a wee bit sick of the non-eliminations. To which I say, preach, but knowing the circumstances, I’m ok. Vicki led the dolls in congratulating Cara on victory as DeDe spoke about how close she has come to winning multiple times. Tomara meanwhile asked if anyone felt like they were coasting, with everyone looking directly at Kate Butch and while she assured us she wasn’t pressed. She was. Though I do agree that it is better to coast than be stuck on the rollercoaster like some of the other dolls. Like say, Tomara and Cara.

The next day the dolls were energised and thriving, with Michael focused and ready to finally get her win. Before Banksie could knock any of the dolls down a peg, Ru arrived to put the dolls through their paces in a mini challenge to become the face of new nut-based yoghurt S.P.N.K. And the icon herself, Raven, would be taking the photos. Maybe. The dolls got into quick drag before Michael slayed with smut, Naomi was ratchet, DeDe lost her wig – again – while Ginger was demented. And glorious. Kate was a rabid grot, Cara got physical, Tomara was packing while Banksie was adorably hilarious and Vicki showed hole. Almost. So that is a win to me.

Despite that, it was Tomara who took out the win, which allowed her to pick teams for this week’s maxi challenge where they would be hosting RuPaul Disasterclasses. Wisely, she grabbed Michael and Ginger for herself, then grouped Naomi, DeDe and Kate together, leaving Banksie, Vicki and Cara as the third group. Michael and Co were talking Party, Naomi and Co would tackle Werk while Banksie’s babes would advise on Love.

The dolls split up to talk through the plan with Michael oozing charm and confidence, with Tomara admitting she knew Ginger and Michael were her best shot at the win. And TBH, she doesn’t care about how the other dolls go. Vicki meanwhile pointed out they were team winners, before Vicki spoke about meeting her partner on the apps and Banksie opened up about her partner who is a trans woman. And while they didn’t appear to have much cohesion, Vicki felt she needed to focus on not controlling and as such, stayed silent. Kate meanwhile was trying to help her girls find their confidence and knock it out of the park.

Ru dropped by to check-in with her daughters with Team Party explaining that they will teach bringing the north-east spirit to wherever you are in the world. Team Love were congenial AF, feeling comfortable talking about their own lives and encouraging people to define themselves. Though Ru was concerned they would struggle to find the jokes. Ru meanwhile learnt Yorkshire slang as the dolls spoke Werk, though Kate was the one doing the learning, as Ru questioned her drinking habits. After Ru departed the teams were confident in their ability to be funny, except maybe Cara. Tomara meanwhile checked if the dolls were happy with the teams, before admitting she chose her team because she isn’t dumb.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs as Banksie and Vicki bonded over their relationships, with the former beautifully sharing how her understanding of sexuality changed as part of the process of her girlfriend’s own coming out process.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Suranne Jones on the panel as Team Werk took the stage and while DeDe dripped charm, Naomi was a little eaten up by nerves – the rambling – and forgot her jokes, while Kate, obviously, was light and fun, keeping things moving and ugh, she was good. Team Party meanwhile were all perfect all the time, dropping genuine pearls of wisdom amongst the wall to wall jokes. Making fun of themselves and having the time of their lives. While Team Love were a bit of a bomb, despite all of them desperately trying to bring the energy. Vicki, however, did have some solid jokes and that should count for something. That is until she couldn’t even tell her sisters apart.

When it came to the Slaycation runway, DeDe gave demented dame in the American south. Kate served scuba chic, Naomi gave ski Barbie realness, Tomara gave snow skank in all the right ways while Michael was a work of art on the beach.  Ginger gave intergalactic traveller, Vicki was a camp cowgirl, Cara gave sexy Storm before Bakisie closed the show giving fur and animal print and ugh, it was wild. And stunning.

Tomara, Ginger and Michael were deemed the winners before they were sent to untuck. DeDe was praised for being solid in the challenge and looking stunning on the runway. And for trying to soften her make-up. Kate rightly was beloved for being a stunning host and bringing all the jokes in the challenge. And for thinking outside the box on the runway, despite it being a little boring. And the blonde being a mess. While Naomi was read for lacking all the jokes and bringing no funny in the challenge, though they loved her runway. Vicki meanwhile was praised for the energy in the challenge and the runway, before throwing her sisters under the bus. Particularly Banksie, given she hated the moderation. Cara meanwhile was praised for almost being funny, though read for giving nothing of herself. Though her runway was beloved. Banksie on the other hand was deemed the highlight of the team and praised for her look.

Oh and she was not happy with the other dolls for throwing her under the bus. Opening up to Ru about the fact she made two mistakes, reclaiming the shade and making the others looki petty. And oh so pressed.

Backstage the dolls were thrilled to jag their badges however they couldn’t even talk shit before the bottoms joined them. DeDe quickly admitted she was safe, as was Kate while Naomi was prepared to be in the bottom. Cara meanwhile spoke about feeling disappointed before Vicki tried to school Banksie about throwing her under the bus, for throwing her under the bus and well, it was glorious. The duo then went in on Banksie and while Cara felt she was not worse than Banksie, the latter was fed up and stormed out. Cara then tried to explain to the other girls, with Kate wisely pointing out Cara is being a dick. And well, it was wonderful.

Ultimately DeDe and Kate were sent to safety as Naomi landed in the bottom two. Ru then sent Vicki and Banksie to join the safe girls, leaving Cara to battle Naomi. And prove that Cara truly was worse than Banksie. Despite what she felt. As soon as Yazz’s The Only Way Is Up kicked off, however, it was clear that the panel was going to be Cara’s only stumble this week as she knocked it out of the park, giving camp comedy, every lyric and even air drum. And while Naomi held her own despite her knee injury, there was no eliminating Cara as Naomi found herself exiting the competition. Before uttering the greatest exit line of all time – see you in a bit, dogshit, indeed.

As she arrived backstage, I scooped her up in my arms and gave her a massive hug to thank her for being such a sweet icon. I carried her over to the couch to avoid ruining her good knee before explaining that while usually the first boots are the only ones we remember, after so many non-eliminations this season, she will always be remembered. Plus, her voice is so beautiful that she has won hearts all over the world. And that, my friends, is all it takes to earn a Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann.

This glorious little pastry may be a lot of work, but TBH, the feeling of satisfaction of knowing you pulled it off is half as good as the taste. And the taste is simply glorious. Flaky and melt in the mouth, with a velvety meringue and a tart kick of passionfruit, it is perfect.

Enjoy!

Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 recipe David Croissant
2 cup raw caster sugar
1 tbsp kosher salt
4 egg whites
pinch of cream of tartar
3-4 passionfruit

Method
Prepare the pastry as per David’s recipe, all the way up to the final shaping, at which point switch out to this one.

Preheat the oven to 190C.

Sprinkle raw caster sugar over the bench and top with the pastry. Rotate 90 degrees and sprinkle with more sugar. Fold in half, roll flat, sprinkle with sugar and fold again. Sprinkle more sugar and roll the dough out to be half a centimetre thickness. Cut the dough into 8cm squares and, you guessed it, sprinkle it with more sugar.

Grease a 12-hole texas muffin pan with butter and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of salt and a pinch of salt to coat. Press each square into the muffin holes and pinch the corners to meet in the centre. Leave to stand for 15 minutes before popping in the oven to bake for 30 minus, or until golden and crisp.

Remove the pastries from the pan and transfer to a wire rack, upside down, for 15 minutes to let the sugar set.

Meanwhile combine 200g of sugar and 200ml water in a small saucepan and bring to the boil, stirring continuously with a wooden spoon until the sugar dissolves. Reduce heat to medium and brush down sides of pan to remove sugar crystals. Leave to boil undisturbed until it reaches 115C.

Start whisking the egg whites and cream of tartar in a stand mixer on medium, until soft peaks form. Once the syrup hits 121C, increase the speed of the stand mixer to high and still running, slowly pour the syrup into the meringue. Reduce to medium and cook until cooled to room temperature and the meringue is thick and glossy. About 15 minutes or so.

Pipe the meringue into the centre of the pastries, top with some passionfruit pulp and leave to rest for about half an hour to set. Then, finally, devour.


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Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls got into the dirtiest of quick drags before popping the hands in jars of, well, dirty stuff, to find keys. After using the keys to unlock the Pit Crew’s package, Keiona took out victory which gave her the power to cast this week’s maxi challenge, the rusical – Le Bossu de Notre Drag. Despite being filled with an overwhelming sense of dread after another stellar performance, Keiona finally took out her first, very well deserved win of the season. At the other end of the strong pack, Ginger and Punani landed in the bottom. And after spending Untucked fighting with Cookie, rather than practising, Ginger found herself booted while sweet Punani lived to fight another day.

Backstage the dolls farewelled their fallen sister, though were more focused on how disappointed they were that she had left the competition angry. Cookie obviously felt very emotional, given they are friends and just wished they could have talked in the moment rather than her holding it in until Untucked. Things got more positive as they turned their attention to Keiona finally getting her win and well, like her, I am feeling it and look forward to her getting many more. While Punani was just feeling energised after being in the bottom and ready to dominate the rest of the season. And since I love her, I support it.

The next day the dolls rolled in in a mime car and spoke about their track records, with Cookie and Moon ready to ride their upward momentum to a victory. Forgetting that I am already busy willing Keiona to another, but I digress. After a signature cocorico, Nicky dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a live lip sync mini challenge. Featuring Bilal on the mic, while they would be rocking their best 15 minute quick drag. And while it was wild and confusing, Keiona and Cookie slayed it all, Punani was a silly delight, Sara was demented, Moon was smutty, Mami lost her wig and well, it was fun but I’m not sure what exactly the criteria was. Though Punani won, so I am happy.

And with it, came a minor advantage in this week’s maxi challenge, the Time Ball. Category One would see them design an outfit in honour of their heroines, the second would serve futuristic chic while the third would see them design an outfit for prom out of items from a child’s bedroom. With the aforementioned advantage being an extra 10s to loot items before the other dolls joined the brawl. And while she grabbed a tonne in that time, it didn’t stop things from quickly dissolving into chaos as the rest snatched anything in sight.

Nicky and the Pit Crew departed as the dolls split up to go through their hauls with Punani just vibing, Keiona thrilled to go fully fluffy while Sara luxuriated on her mattress. Thankfully Nicky made a speedy return to check in on her girls, with Keiona sharing her plans for a stunning gown, while Nicky was concerned about her fabric. Punani on the other hand was worried she would be a failure, Sara was going to literally have a mattress on her back, Cookie was confident while Moon was trying to bring euphoria after the dysphoria she experienced during the previous challenge. Oh and Mami was planning to bring full glamour. After Nicky left, Keiona and Mami started a conversation about how we as queer people often live in fear of violence. And the fact they all had a personal experience shows just how prevalent it is.

We immediately arrived at the ball where Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined on the panel by Christian Louboutin and Léna Situations. Punani opened the Héroïne du passé category  in honour of her grandmother as a pink and green beauty queen and well, it was a slay. Mami also slayed in a suit in honour of Grace Jones and ugh, it looked GOOD. Moon slayed as a gypsy queen, Sara gave sexy writer realness, Cookie was polished as her flamenco dancer grandmother, before Keiona slayed as a stunning Josephone Baker, complete with a little strip moment.

On the Futuristic Chic runway, Punani served as a cyborg CEO, complete with QR codes to her own instagram filter. Mami gave bridal, floral robot, Moon gave future rocker, Sara gave glamour toad from Super Mario, Cookie was a shiny, sparkling fighter and Keiona slayed in a yellow gown with the world’s longest ponytail. When it came to their Reine du bal looks, Punani gave a pastel patchworked dream, Mami too was patchworked, though rocked it in blue and with a train. Moon meanwhile meant from gloom to glam with her yellow gown, Sara was a neon, colour blocked, well, something. Before Cookie slayed as a punk rocker in all the right ways before Keiona slayed her third of three looks, giving anime and shimmering in silver.

Punani was praised for showing all the versatility across her three looks, as did Mami, though mainly for slaying her made look. Moon was beloved for living everything she sold on the runway. Sara’s first two looks were beloved, though they hated the look she whipped up. Cookie meanwhile got us back to wall to wall praise as did Keiona, but honestly, are we even surprised by that at this point?

Before sending the dolls to untuck, Nicky asked them who they would send home, with everyone clearly wanting to make the most of Sara’s run at the bottom, and singling her out in front of the judges. Backstage she was pressed to be the one the dolls wanted to go, until Moon started to break down about being in the bottom and having to lip sync against her bestie Sara. She tried to hold back tears as she realised that she could not possibly stay any longer; emotional and spent, she just wanted to go home and look after her mental health. Which is oh, so valid.

After praising all the dolls for slaying the ball, Nicky announced that both Keiona and Cookie took out the win. With both scoring a pair of Louboutins. Mami and Punani were then sent to safety before Moon stepped forward to announce that there would be no need for the lip sync as instead, she would like to go home. And ugh, it was heartbreaking to see her go, but empowering to see her make the choice to look after herself. Unlike Down Under, however, the top five lip synced after giving Moon a standing ovation as she made her way out the door.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for not just slaying the competition, but doing it with so much heart. And while I was sad we wouldn’t get to watch her slay any further, I was happy to know she was listening to herself and knew when to prioritise her health. And that is truly iconic. Iconic and more than deserving of a piping hot Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun.

How do you improve upon the majesty of a cinnamon bun? Add apples and almonds, of course! Gloriously sweet, with a subtle nuttiness, this fluffy little buns will have you comes back for more and more and more.

Enjoy!

Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
325g unsalted butter, chopped
2 cups milk
7g sachet active dry yeast
150g raw caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp almond essence
6 cups flour
2 tbsp ground cinnamon, plus extra to sprinkle
2 granny smith apples, grated
½ cup flaked almonds
2 eggs
raw sugar, to sprinkle

Method
Melt 175g of the butter in a saucepan over low heat before removing from the heat, and stirring in the milk and leaving to cool to just under 40°C. Stir in the yeast, half the sugar, the salt and almond essence, and leave to foam for about five minutes.

Transfer the liquid to a large bowl of an electric mixer and slowly add the flour, stirring by hand with the dough hook. When it is starting to come together, attach the dough hook and turn the mixer on medium speed until smooth, a couple of minutes.

Remove the dough to an oiled (second) large bowl, cover with a tea towel and leave to prove until doubled in size, or about an hour and a half.

Preheat the oven to 225°C.

While the dough is proving and the oven is heating, mash the remaining butter in a bowl and mix  with the remaining sugar, cinnamon, apple and flaked almonds until smooth.

Once the dough is ready, knock it back, turn it out onto a floured bench and roll it out until it is a large ½cm rectangle. Smear the apple, cinnamon and almond butter very liberally over the top and roll the dough lengthways to form a long cylinder.

Slice the cinnamon, doughy sausage in half, half again … and half again, and half again (or just evenly, depending on how tall you want them to be) until you reach the magic number – I prefer mine to be fat, so cut the 8 into 3 to make 24.

Place each disc in a square of baking parchment and leave them to sit, a couple of centimetres apart on baking sheets. When they are all lined up, cover with a tea towel and allow to prove a further 30 minutes.

When they are ready to roll – pun obviously intended – whisk the eggs and brush the buns before coating liberally with sugar.

Bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden and glorious. Then devour, like a sweet, iconic, boss.


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Sausage Heidi N Tartlets

Breakfast, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the competition was well and truly starting to get to Heidi, as she worried that the judges weren’t feeling her this season despite solid performances week after week. Speaking of which, the dolls were tasked with starring in commercials for new prestige TV shows, where Heidi and Lala gave delightfully demented performances. Kandy asked Heidi about her moment in Untucked before the runway, which irked the former Miss Congeniality who threatened to spill tea to burn things down. In the sketches, Jaymes, Darienne and Alexis landed in the bottom, with Alexis gladly throwing Darienne under the bus for their predicament. Jimbo on the other hand rightly won her second challenge – despite Heidi and Lala’s killer work – and discovered she would be losing the lip sync to Shannel before Darienne, the icon, was sent to the house by the girls.

Backstage Jimbo was on cloud nine to have secured her place as the front runner while Jaymes was simply thrilled to have survived. And most importantly, have more closet space since she and Darienne shared a station. Talk turned to Heidi serving all the ass and after they pinned the tail on her, talk turned to the votes with everyone gagged to finally have a unanimous one, aside from Darienne’s vote for her friend Jaymes. Jimbo then added some spice, pretending she had pulled Alexis’ lipstick, but ultimately pulled out Darienne’s name too and while everyone was cackling with the Canadian icon, Alexis knew that as the frontrunner, all the girls now definitely had their eyes on her.

The next day the dolls were thrilled for another fresh start, none more so than Alexis who was hoping to get fresh with Lala. Before they could get physical, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game of Love. Which feels kinda fitting, no? They split up to talk through THE challenge, with Lala nervous to be popping her cherry, though hopeful to slay as Sukihana. Jessica shared she will be playing PR icon Iris Chacon, Jaymes is FINALLY bringing Jennifer Coolidge to the stage and ugh, I stan. Alexis pulled Jimbo aside to talk through the pressure of having won Snatch Games in the past and you know Alexis is confident to repeat as Bea Arthur. And well, she did a lot of study. Jimbo meanwhile wasn’t worried about the pressure, creating joyful chaos and getting piggybacks.

She moved on to helping clean Lala’s titties before Ru dropped by to kiki with the dolls, with her thrilled to see Kahanna had prepared with a jar of cheetos. So yes, she will be playing her mama Coco and damn I hope she makes her proud. Jimbo delighted Ru with the fact she’ll be playing Shirley Temple and while Ru has very high expectations, I am sure Jimbo can meet them. Heidi will be serving as Blackbeard and after opening up to Ru about struggling with the pressure of the competition, Ru reiterated she just wants her to have fun. So have fun, Heidi assured us, she will have!

We transitioned to the Snatch Game set where we met Heidi as Blackbird, Jessica as Iris, Kahanna as Coco and Jaymes as Jennifer Coolidge who’d be fighting for the affections of snatchelor #1 Matt Rogers. From the first moment, this was Jaymes’ show, dominating from the word hiiiiiiii. Heidi meanwhile was stupid and so much fun – until Kahanna struggled and she got shady – Kahanna was stuck with one note and Jessica was charming, but nothing else. So obviously Matt chose Jaymes as Jennifer as the winner. Competing for the affections of snatchelor #2, Brisbane’s own Bowen Yang, were Alexis as my girl Bea Arthur, Kandy went with Mob Wife Renee Graziano, Lala’s Sukihana and Shirley Temple and ugh, just give her that third win now. Jimbo was funny, she was demented and oh so perfect, and while Alexis gave us a stunning Bea, Kandy was a ratchet icon and Lala was high energy, there was no stopping the stupidity of Jimbo taking Bowen’s heart.

Oh and then Matt and Bowen lip synced and it was stunning.

Elimination Day arrived with Jimbo tapping her way in, no doubt knowing she is about to collect another win. Kandy then borrowed the Shirley wig and shoes for her own little interlude before Jimbo and Alexis spoke about how much fun they had together and how fun it was to give each other space to play. Kahanna meanwhile pulled Kandy aside to talk about feeling upset about how Heidi treated her during the Snatch Game, leading to Kandy talking about Heidi going to Jimbo off camera and telling her that Kandy was coming for her. Jessica meanwhile was nervous, though hoping she did enough to scrape by. Alexis then checked in on Kahanna and she told her she was ok until Heidi started coming for her mid-challenge, given she was already down, after which she spiralled.

Heidi was shocked that Kahanna felt she was coming for her, thinking she was giving her something to volley and help her land a joke. Kahanna wasn’t having it however and while Heidi apologised, Jaymes also mentioned to us that Heidi played it exactly how Snatch Game is meant to be played. Kandy then asked why Heidi told Jimbo she was coming for her when she didn’t, with Heidi backing herself and assuring her sisters that it definitely happened and Alexis was even present to confirm it. And while she agreed at first, she immediately backpedalled with Heidi saying that she straight up told her she would send Jimbo home if she was in the bottom. The four of them all fought back and forth, with Jimbo just feeling awkward to be stuck between two friends. Everyone was in silence before Heidi told Jimbo that she just told her what she heard and to remember this when it comes time to vote. All of them, as she was done.

After barely a moment to catch our breath, Heidi told everyone how much she hates how this has become and what it has done to them all, so instead of leaving things up to chance, she instead opted to tap out immediately. As she exited, Kandy and Alexis followed to try and get her to change her mind but alas, there was nothing they could do. As Heidi assured everyone that she loved them as she fought back tears and ran for the exit.

As she made it outside, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that the judges and the viewing audience all love her and know how talented she is. And while I hated to see her go before the finale – because you know she deserved a place at the end with Jimbo – I understood that like Adore and DeLa before her, she knew when it was time to go to look after herself and since she more than proved herself a star on her first season, all that was left for me to do was toast her success with a fresh batch of Sausage Heidi N Tartlets.

Breakfast is my favourite meal of the day, and when you throw in sausage and pastry, I am honestly in heaven. Delicate egg carries little spiced nuggets of sausage, feta and tomato, as your teeth break at gloriously flaky crust – need I say more?

Enjoy!

Sausage Heidi N Tartlets
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
4 pork sausages
8 eggs
⅓ cup cream
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 sheets of puff pastry
1 punnet cherry tomatoes, halved
2 tbsp chives, sliced
200g feta, crumbled

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Pop a skillet over medium heat and once hot, remove the sausages from the casings and pop little meatballs into the pan to cook, stirring, for about five minutes or until cooked through and starting to crisp. Remove from the heat and transfer to some paper towel to drain.

In a large bowl, whisk the eggs and cream with a good whack of salt and pepper. Cut the pastry into 9 squares and press into muffin tins. Divide the tomatoes between the pastry, followed by the sausage, chives and then some feta, before topping with the egg mixture.

Transfer to the oven to bake for about 20 minutes, or until golden and puffed, before devouring, like a soft and supple icon.


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