Pepper

Bacon, Brocolli and Cauliflowerma Gerd Bake

Canada's Drag Race 3, Canada’s Drag Race, Side, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with designing some signature eye shadow palettes, before producing an entire beauty campaign to support them. Including not just a commercial, but a beauty shot like ANTM before it. After stomping – or swinging, in the iconic Fiercalicious’ case – the runway as works of art, everyone received glowing praise in at least one of the assignments. While Fiercalicious came out on top, Irma, Giselle and Bombae’s runways weren’t enough to save them from the bottom three. With the iconic Bombae felled by sweet, camp Irma.

Backstage Irma was equal parts shocked and thrilled to have taken out the lip sync, while everyone was sad to see the sweetheart home. Irma regaled the girls with tales about being focused on the performance, while the girls read her for being a little weird and wacky, which TBH is on brand. Talk turned to Fiercalicious’ first win, with everyone kinda sleeping on how well she did which mainly came down to the fact that Vivian felt like she has been doing so well in the competition and was just heartbroken it is yet to reward her. So either she wins this week or goes home. And since I love her, it needs to be the former.

The next day the dolls were thrilled to be the top six, none more so than Fiercalicious, after finally joining the winner’s circle. Promptly calling out Irma and Vivian for not being there, with the latter growing more stressed while Irma crunched the numbers and deduced that based on her track record, she will be winning this week. Before we could audit the maths, Brad dropped by and put the girls to the ultimate test, popping on actress quick drag to audition for his upcoming movie Super Queen. Vivian lived her Annie fantasy, Irma hoped to sleep her way to the top, Fiercalicious was confident and very good, Kimmy was killer and camp while Giselle and Jada leant into stupid and I love them. But obviously, Kimmy’s brand of stupid camp was deemed the best.

Brad then shared that this was just the start of their acting careers as for this week’s Maxi Challenge, they would be starring in Squirrels Trip: The Rusical. Starting with dropping the vocals and learning the choreo, after cage fighting for the roles, if Bosco v Camden is anything to go by. As they split up to go through the scripts, Giselle jumped at one of the smaller roles before everyone agreed that Fiercalicious should play the gaslighter. Kimmy jumped into a difficult role nobody wanted before Irma and Jada went in to fight for the same role, though sadly it was no Moulin Ru sitch as Irma just as happily stepped aside for her. While Vivian was happy to play a pent up mother, despite not feeling confident with the challenging choreography. As they split up to memorise their lines, Irma immediately lost her feelings of confidence given Giselle is far from being described as a confident singer. Vivian meanwhile worried about taking such a demanding role, while Fiercalicious admitted she pushed for her to take it to sabotage her. And well, this season is wild and I love it.

The dolls dropped by to work on their vocals with known chanteuse, Brad Goreski and well Jada sounded good. Kimmy gave all the confidence despite not knowing what some of her lyrics meant, while Fiercalicious was perfectly cast and oh so good. Poor Vivian appeared nervous behind the mic – though I’m hopeful this is our fakeout edit – and while Irma nailed it, Giselle bombed. And she knew it, thank you very much. Brad tapped out with Hollywood Jade who delighted Vivian with some sexy dance partners, and as soon as they held her tight, all her nerves just disappeared. Which is relatable AF. Kimmy knocked anything and everything out of the park, while Giselle and Irma traded places with the latter unable to get down the choreo, while Giselle hit every mark and hit it perfectly.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls running scales and beating their mugs, with Jada looking forward to hearing her dulcet tones on the track. Irma meanwhile opened up about her speech impediment growing up and how that has led to a lot of trauma and anxiety that still worries her to this day, though thankfully she was happy due to the fact it made her who she is. Giselle opened up about her own struggles growing up as queer and how it wasn’t until a teacher took him under his wing did he see that life is worth living. Jada meanwhile shared a spooky story about how her door kept opening throughout the night and how her bussy had been quivering, deducing that she fucked a ghost. Well, bottomed for one. And while it obviously adds nothing to the plot, I would argue it is just as important as the competition.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined on the panel by Jeremy Dutcher as the dolls took the stage for the opening and closing performance of Squirrels Trip. Jada opening the show strong, bringing all the charm and energy while Kimmy was delightfully demented. Fiercalicious gave full Ramona Singer teas – as a compliment, oddly – while Irma and Giselle kinda blended into the pack, though arguably had the toughest gig playing the (alleged) straight guys. Most importantly, Vivian did receive the fakeout edit of the week as she stole the damn show, giving horned up mumma-vamp in all the right ways. And while I SAID Vivian stole the show, the back-up dancers had their bums out, so yeah, they won my heart and my loins.

On the Dystopian Drag Runway, Jada gave zombie hunting Harley Quinn does Mad Max realness and well, it worked. Fiercalicious was perfect as the sexy sister of the monster from the Shape of Water while Vivian was terrifying, artistic and stunning in a True Detective kinda way. Kimmy was stunning as a sexy, shiny, spike warrior, Irma gave gassed glamazon while Giselle was living mirrorball model from Dune.

The judges lived for Jada’s energy and her hitting every note, despite wanting her to give them even more. And while her runway was good, it could have been better. Fiercalicious was praised for being a perfect bitch in the performance and for giving such an iconic look on the runway which will live on forever. Vivian meanwhile was universally beloved for everything she did this week, particularly for taking a risk in the challenge and for popping her baby teeth on her runway. Kimmy was read for giving another bra and panty combo on the runway, while everyone lived for how fun she was in the performance. Irma’s runway was beloved, despite the unnecessary reveal and while her vocals were great, they could see she was on the struggle bus when it came to the dancing. While Giselle received universal praise for the runway, she was read for blending into the background in the performance.

Backstage Kimmy was disappointed that her runway could cost her another win, while Fiercalicious was confident her runway may secure her second. Everyone read Jada for her basic outfit, which made her nervous she would be lip syncing yet again while Irma too was sure she would be in the bottom. Talk turned to Vivian’s breakout performance, with her delighting in everyone’s praise and support.

Ultimately Vivian finally jagged a very well-deserved victory as Fiercalicious and Kimmy were sent to safety before Jada narrowly avoided a third time in the bottom, with Giselle instead facing off against Irma. As soon as Alannah Myles’ Love Is kicked off both of the dolls kicked into fight mode, leaning into the camp, fun, nostalgic energy of the song and turning it. Though given Giselle is a straight up dancer, she really gave us everything and while Irma was giving the drama and silly, she was hurt by the fact she was wearing milky contact lenses and we couldn’t see all the emotion. Which is what I’m blaming her departure on, as she sashayed away while I dreamed of her and Vivian making their way to the top two together.

As soon as she stepped foot back into the Werk Room, I pulled her aside for a massive hug and shared how disappointed I was by her tragic elimination. Not only does she have one of the funnest, meme-iest names to grace Drag Race, but she was so sweet and kooky and talented, it is impossible not to stan. I mean, her Marilyn Snatch Game was bloody inspired! I reiterated that she is guaranteed to have a long, illustrious career – could her and Vivian become Trixie and Katya 2.0? I hope! – due to her talents, and in the meantime, she always has Bacon, Brocolli and Cauliflowerma Gerd Bake.

You know those moments when you’re trying to make a healthier version of a meal – in this case, Simon Potato Baker Denny – but end up just making another, delicious, creamy delight? Well, this is it. Gone are the potatoes of said bake, traded out with broccoli and cauliflower, elevating it to tasty heights.

Enjoy!

Bacon, Broccoli and Cauliflowerma Gerd Bake
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
400g cauliflower, cut into small florets
400g broccoli, cut into small florets
200g streaky bacon rashers, diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
200ml cream
200ml sour cream
½ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 cup cheddar cheese, grated
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Bring a saucepan of water to the boil and cook the cauliflower for five minutes. Add the broccoli and cook for a further few minutes before draining and setting aside.

Pop a large pan over medium heat and cook the bacon for a few minutes, or until crisp. Add the garlic, broccoli, cauliflower, cream, sour cream, parmesan, half the cheddar and a good whack of salt and pepper, stirring until well combined.

Transfer to a baking dish, top with the remaining cheese and pop in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until cooked through and the top is golden. Then devour, solo or with a freshly cooked roast.


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Arepomare Fifth

Bread, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls starred in our first acting challenge and while it paid homage to Prisoner, I still wish they went with Homo & A-gay or Gaybours. But when life gives you lemons, it is generally a Drag Race acting challenge or something. Which coincidentally was the plot, as Bev was given the death penalty for writing the franchise’s past acting challenges. While Aubrey and Kween struggled, Spankie was demented and gorgeous, while Minnie and Hannah gave the best criminal duo since Home Alone. Alas, there could only be one winner as Spankie took out her first victory of the season, before Kween destroyed the lip sync and poor Aubrey sashayed away.

Backstage Kween was still feeling disappointed in herself, feeling broken and picking the performance apart. On top of that, she felt bad for poor Aubrey. Thankfully everyone rallied around and gave her a glorious pep talk and she was soon feeling far better. She then congratulated Spankie on her first victory, while Spankie in turn praised Minnie and Hannah for doing so well in the challenge. Hannah then lamented the fact that she has been a bridesmaid in the first two episodes and best believe she was ready to step into the spotlight and take out a victory. Otherwise, why did they invite her to this wedding?

Oh and Minnie offered to suck off and then bottom for Kween – um, get in line lady – and Hannah suggested finding Ru’s trailer and sucking her off for a win. So yeah, maybe this is why Ru called us all ratchet?

The next day Yuri was feeling good, particularly since her outfit saved her last week and this week, she vowed to get out of her head and get back into the top. Ru dropped by before Yuri could top, though thankfully brought the Pit Crew with him and well, my basement was flooded. There was something about a tool stuffed in their pants and the queens had to pick who was packing what. As is oft the case, we all won as the menseses dropped trou over and over. But apparently, in whatever way Ru was keeping score, Molly Poppinz took out the actual victory.

And as the victor, she was able to pair up the queens for this week’s Maxi Challenge, where they would be hosting a 5-minute drag brunch set. She obviously paired up with Hannah, before getting Minnie and Kween together and putting Bev with Pomara, leaving Spankie and Yuri as the final duo. And while Spankie felt like Molly was trying to do a little bit of sabo(tage), I have a feeling in my waters that Spankie and Yuri will shine.

After Ru departed, the pairs split up to workshop their sets with Molly wanting to be natural rather than scripting anything and well, is this a good idea? Spankie then asked Molly if she was trying to be strategic with her pairings, admitting that yes she did, wanting to put a strong queen with a weaker girl. Before basically admitting she was just trying to bring Spankie down. Speaking of Spankie, she was pissed by the decision while Yuri was feeling ready to bring herself up to Spankie’s level and yes Yuri, I love you. Beverly and Pomara meanwhile learnt they are polar opposites with their performance styles, with Bev wanting to script everything and Pomara focused on being off the cuff. Minnie and Kween meanwhile were leaning into the fact they have completely different backgrounds, focusing on racism and privilege.

Oh and they told Hannah about it so Hannah could address her Scarlett Adams-esque background with cultural appropriation and the hurt that it did, has and will cause. And fuck, Kween is so mature and wise, giving Hannah space to apologise and address the scandal while firmly explaining why it is such a problem and how addressing it in a non-performative way proves she is willing to grow.

Spankie and Yuri were first to workshop with Rhys and Chris Parker – who is wearing a super cute shirt – and were very fun with their scripted roast of the queens. Rhys encouraged them to make it a little more Drag Race, while Chris wanted them to take advantage of the fact they are a Kiwi only duo. Molly and Hannah started out with a dry script about Hobbiton, before the mentors told them to make things personal. Where we then learnt Hannah wanted to be a priest, which is a story we all need to hear. Minnie’s energy meanwhile took all the rehearsal space, with Kween encouraged to come up a little while Minnie was told to tone it down a little. While Bev and Pomara just couldn’t figure out where the script was going and who was saying what, while Rhys and Chris reminded them to lift each other up.

Elimination Day rolled around with Yuri MIA with an eye infection, though ugh, Pomara suggested they could all help paint her face when she comes back and maybe they listened when Ru said, everyone say love.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by the iconic Urzila Carlson on the judges panel as Beverly and Pomara opened the show looking absolutely stunning and going well, until Yuri’s absence appeared to really throw them off because things then became stilted. Backstage, Yuri returned with half vision and a cream and quickly beat her mug while Molly and Hannah took the stage and were so energetic, fun and personable and well, I love it. I mean, “the only balloon I can blow up is when I’m farting in my foreskin in my meaty tuck” is a line that came out of Molly’s mouth. What could you not love? Kween meanwhile was charming and sparkled while Minnie dropped in and brought all the energy, which proved to be a formidable combination as they slayed. Yuri then gagged the dolls as she made her triumphant return with Spankie to close out the show. And I don’t know if she got drugged up at A&E, but Yuri was hilarious and so much fun despite Spankie giving an absolute hosting masterclass.

I mean, they nailed it.

On the Red for Filth runway, Beverly was a stunning goth ready for the boudoir, complete with a chandelier headpiece. Pomara served red earth glamour and looked so damn stunning, Hannah Conda gave Carmen Sandieg-ho does Dallas, Molly was a blooming rose bud with a perfect mug. Kween gave sexy volcano realness while Minnie wore a stunning red dress that just could not stay up and then Spankie looked perfect in a poppy gown in honour of the Anzacs, while Yrui was iconic as a bloody red devil and fuck I love her. But also, is she high?

Ultimately Spankie and Yuri took out victory and sent to untuck before Beverly was praised for giving a stunning runway though read for not really vibing with Pomara while they were on stage. Pomara too received universal praise for her look, but yeah, that vibe wasn’t great. Hannah and Molly were praised for such killer energy and how they bounced off each other, despite not having much of a script. Though their looks were both praised, despite Ru deeming Molly’s trashy. Kween meanwhile received wall-to-wall praise and thanked for bringing the energy she had in lip sync to the challenge and stamping her place in the contest, while Minnie was praised for her energy and despite the dress not fitting, they loved the dedication to the sisters she lost to HIV/AIDS.

Backstage Spankie and Yuri were overjoyed to take out victory, particularly after everything Yuri had to go through this week. And Molly’s sabo attempts. The rest of the girls arrived and congratulated them on their victory, while Pomara and Beverly both started to sob given they were clearly in the bottom. While their sisters tried to rally around them, Bev brokedown over her fears and how she was  terrified of failing herself and the greater Brisbane area. Which thankful doesn’t include Logan for the record, but I digress. Kween then gave her and Pomara an epic peptalk and well, I’ve loved Kween because she is so damn hot, but damn, she has such a beautiful soul too. Begging the question, did Jesse McCartney write it about her? Because he should have.

Ru didn’t beat around the bush this week, telling Bev and Pomara they were in the bottom before sweeping the rest of the girls off stage. Despite the fear and emotion they were showing backstage, they both went off as Years & Years feat. Kylie’s Starstruck kicked off. Both of the dolls hit every damn lyric and gave all the energy but when Bev started splitting and slipping and nearly sliding off stage, it was over. Until Pomara hilariously switched into mocking her opponent. I mean, if ever there was a time for a double shantay, it was this. But alas, they didn’t even have enough time to edit Ru’s stumble on the runway out, so tragically, we had to say goodbye to the iconic Pomara. Who rightly summed up her feelings with a simple, bye cunts.

Backstage poor Pomara was still feeling disappointed in her performance, so I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her how charming and talented she is. I then went on a very long-winded rant how this was far and away the strongest challenge of the series, with everyone kinda doing well. Add into that the fact they both slayed the lip sync and well, if there ever was a time to go out, it was when you all did well. Which appeared to do the trick as we slipped back into being silly and joyful as we smashed a fresh batch of Arepomare Fifth.

These gorgeously flavorful South American pita-esque breads are the perfect accompaniment. Or even with a thick layer of butter on their own. Crisp on the outside and fluffy on the inside, they are so damn good. And more importantly, v. easy to make.

Enjoy!

Arepomare Fifth
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
¼ tsp freshly ground pepper
2 ½ cups lukewarm water
2 cups white corn flour
¼ cup sunflower oil (or corn, if you can find it)

Method
Preheat the oven to 190°C.

Combine the sugar, salt, pepper and water in a jug of water until only the pepper is visible. Meanwhile, pop the corn flour in a large bowl. Slowly add the sweet and salty water into the bowl, stirring constantly, until it all comes together.

Transfer to a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth. Pop on a lined plate, cover and leave to rest for about half an hour.

When you’re ready to cook, divide the dough into ¼ cup(ish) sized balls and flatten into 2cm discs. Heat a lug of oil in a skillet over medium heat and add a couple of arepas to the pan. Flatten with a spatula and cook for a couple of minutes before flipping and cooking for another few. Repeat the process until done.

Place them on a lined baking sheet and transfer to the oven to cook for a further 5-10 minutes, or until they sound hollow on the inside. Then devour, either with some eggs or leftover birria, not that either are traditional but they are great.


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Chicken Slidy Boom Boom

Burgers, Canada's Drag Race 3, Canada’s Drag Race, Main, Party Food, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls thought they were all going to be designing runway looks based on differing boxes. However when they opened them to check out their haul, they learnt it was all a ruse and instead, they would be designing looks based on the exact same items. Somehow everyone managed to pull off different looks, with Giselle stunning in a glamorous gown, while Kaos repeated a similar look from the previous design challenge. And Jada just straight up looked a mess. As the dolls untucked, a massive blow-up occurred between Fiercalicious and pretty much everyone, leaving her hurt in a very foul mood. Giselle rightly took out her first victory, while Jada once again saved herself via the lip sync as she sent Kaos packing.

Backstage the mood was well and truly sombre, with everyone missing Koas while Jada was feeling down after having to lip sync again. Despite turning the party, obviously. While everyone congratulated her on her performance, Fiercalicious looked on sulking, leading to Bombae and Kimmy calling her out for being in her feelings. With Kimmy in particular not interested in apologising to her, instead asking her to do better. As everyone gave their two cents, Lady Boom Boom cut them off and told everyone to move on and put high school to bed. And instead, congratulated poor Giselle on her first win. With even her over the idea of being congratulated, given she was sitting in her corset for way too long.

The next day the mood was so much better, with Bombae ready to take out a win before Fiercalicious apologised to her sisters and vowed to be less reactive and open to their feelings. And challenge her energy on a win. And just like that, they were all friends again. Kimmy pointed out that there are four queens with a win, begging the question, when will the other dolls slay? Which led to Irma promising us that should they get a comedy challenge, this could be her moment. Like Snatch Game. Which is what Brooke confirmed was the upcoming challenge as soon as she dropped by. Well, after opening the bibliotheque for some reading.

Fiercalicious channelled her feelings into destroying her sisters and damn, I wasn’t expecting her to be that good at reading. Boom Boom was cute as she sweetly eviscerated the dolls, Irma was brutal and oh so good, Giselle was silly, Jada was sage and cruel, Vivian was kooky and fun, Bombae was amazing while Kimmy was aggressive and amazing. Though ultimately there could only be one winner, and that was the icon herself, Lady Boom Boom.

But more importantly, Snatch Game! As Brooke exited, the dolls split up to talk about their characters with Boom Boom going with iconic Montreal drag queen Mado. Which is what Giselle was planning to do, though given she had back-ups, she did a full Divina and gave her the outfit and opted for someone else. As Jada and Fierce caught up, we learnt that the latter and Kimmy both planned to do Ariana Grande and well, this could get messy. Wait, no, Fierce graciously took the high road without a battle. Though trust she will be pissed if it costs her the competition.

Brooke returned to check on her girls, with Bombae going with Aziz Ansari and well, yes, this could be super fun. Or a total mess. Either way, I want to see it. Jada was planning to go with Saucy, who I’ve never heard of, but they look like an icon, so work. Vivian is going into battle with Ginger Minj and Jessica Chastain by playing Tammy Faye, while Brooke was nervous about Kimmy’s take on Ariana Grande. Though once again, she was confident she would make it fun. Fiercalicious pivoted to Kourtney Kardashian and damn, please let her get into a kickdown fight on the panel. Brooke was excited to see what Lady Boom Boom would do with Mado, while Irma is finally bringing Marilyn to Snatch Game. Oh and Giselle is going to play Marie Curie or Celine Dion, and while Broke seemed into the second (despite her trauma), Marie would be iconic. So let’s hope she sticks to her guns.

Snatch Game kicked off with Bombae bringing the energy while Giselle was perfection from the very first moment, complete with a green glow from beneath the desk. Fierce had the Kardashian vibe down pat, Irma was hilarious, Vivian was the right level of manic and was so damn adorable. Jada’s Saucy was cute and fun, while Kimmy was an absolute mess. In the most entertaining way. While Boom Boom was there. There is no denying that this was Giselle’s challenge to lose though, as she dominated each and every moment – I mean, she lost teeth and hair, drew a new brow with her marker and was all around hilarious – while Irma and Vivian narrowly followed behind for supremacy. At the other end of the pack, Kimmy’s bomb was totally entertaining, while Boom Boom was kinda boring as Bombae just missed the mark.

Elimination Day arrived with Vivian feeling her oats, ready to breakthrough with a potential win. She opened up to Irma, sharing that she was embraced by a group of people at a Baptist Church growing up and that their warmth and kindness helped her become the person she is today. This led to a discussion about all of their journeys with religion, and while Vivian’s was good, Kimmy was sent to a conversion camp, as was Giselle, though somehow accidentally after a priest told her it was an artist camp. And as such, her mother pulled her out when she found out about the lie. Bombae on the flipside was taught about the queer god and goddesses of hindu culture and embraced by her family growing up, though admitted they didn’t know she does drag. With Boom Boom hilariously suggesting that might be for the best, given she hasn’t won a challenge.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by the returning Sarain Fox as the dolls stomped the Periodic Table of Elements runway. Fiercalicious was an iconic club kid dominatrix as Neon, Kimmy gave prehistoric A’Whora vibes for calcium before Vivian slayed arsenic as Joker before revealing a Batman love interest in arsenic-made green. Boom Boom was avant garde for bromide, complete with liquid pumping through the architectural look. Giselle was a gorgeous goddess snitch serving gold before Jada gave pop glamour in honour of sodium and Irma was a glamorous ‘50s housewife in a yellow gown for uranium. And then Bombae stole the show as the sexiest living balloon for helium.

Jada and Fiercalicious were both sent to untuck before the judges read Kimmy for filth, despite looking like Ariana in Snatch Game. On the flipside, they lived for her runway. Vivian received wall-to-wall praise for both Snatch Game and her glamorous runway. Sweet Boom Boom was praised for giving perfect Mado in appearance, though read for giving absolutely nothing more. Though they loved her runway. They lived for everything Giselle did this week, from the demented character study, to making them laugh and looking perfect on the runway. They also adored everything Irma did in the Snatch Game and the light and shade she brought to her performance. Oh and they loved her look. Poor Bombae, meanwhile, was praised for starting strong, though read for completely losing momentum. But thankfully, they loved the runway.

Backstage Kimmy was disappointed to be in the bottom, though knew she deserved it and as such, was just ready to bring it in the lip sync. She opened up about not singing in the challenge due to it triggering her gender dysphoria, though didn’t want to bring it up and sound like she was making excuses. Which is super heartbreaking. Boom Boom too was ready to lip sync, while Bombae was disappointed to miss the mark. But was fired up to perform should she have to.

Ultimately Irma Gerd and Vivian were sent to safety as Giselle took out her second win in a row. At the other end of the pack, Bombae runway narrowly saved her as Kimmy and Boom Boom faced off to Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepson. And damn was it good! Both girls hit every lyric and looked so beautiful, while Kimmy stripped off and started kicking and flipping around the stage, poor Boom Boom was kinda held back by her restrictive outfit. Which is honestly the only thing that could split them, saving Kimmy and sending sweet Lady Boom Boom out of the competition.

While she was disappointed backstage, I reminded her that she followed in the tradition of her fellow non-English speaking sisters in stumbling on Snatch Game which is hardly something to be embarrassed about. I mean, ask France host Nicky Doll, it is painfully hard to be funny in another language, and as such, she was always at a disadvantage this week. Which was enough of a pep talk to cheer up the former front runner, giving us plenty of time to lol about while smashing some Chicken Slidy Boom Booms in honour of her slayage.

You know the deal, I love burgers. But sliders have an even bigger place in my heart, given they are baby versions, meaning you can eat twice as much without any guilt. Creamy slaw, chicken so crisp you could cut a tooth and the tang of pickle also doesn’t hurt making these so damn moreish.

Enjoy!

Chicken Slidy Boom Boom
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 cups red cabbage, shredded
4 shallots, sliced
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1 celery stalk, finely sliced
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 ½ tsp apple cider vinegar
2 tsp maple syrup
salt and pepper, to taste
4 boneless pieces of Farrahed Moan Chicken, cut in half
8 slider rolls
4-6 pickles, sliced
4 slices American Cheese, cut in half

Method
Combine the cabbage, shallots, carrot, celery, mayo, apple cider vinegar and maple syrup in a bowl until everything is well coated. Adjust the mayo and seasoning, depending on taste.

After you’ve prepared the chicken as per Farrah’s instructions, split the sliders and pop a spoon of the slaw on the bottom, followed by the pickle, the chicken and then some cheese. Then close and repeat until they’re all done, before smashing, happily.


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Bread Palomalette

Breakfast, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France, ten of the best and brightest from across the country – though mainly Paris – arrived at Nicky Doll’s Werk Room ready to showcase all the best France has to offer. And while they didn’t always have the global rights to their lip sync songs, they did serve up a joyous and fun season, despite the fact we had to lose many an icon along the way. Starting with firestarting sweetheart La Kahena. She was soon followed by the camp Lova Ladiva before the sweet La Briochée exited. Kam Hugh then joined the WIN to ELIM club before Elips followed her out the door.

After an emotional lip sync, La Big Bertha was felled, before the top four had to lip sync for their place in the finale which saw Lolita Banana’s run come to an end. The top three then battled it out writing verses – in English, no less – and performing the remix on the mainstage before lip syncing for the crown. Despite all of the top three being more than worthy of taking out the crown, Nicky had not yet been given enough power by WOW for winner, winner, three chicken dinners. As such, she chose the supremely talented Paloma to take out the crown, leaving La Grande Dame and Soa De Muse as very worthy runner-ups.

And again, future All Star winners.

From the moment I saw her promo picture complete with a ship on her head, I fell in love with Paloma. And while I would travel to the ends of the earth for Soa, that does not take away from my love for Paloma.

She calmly ventured through the competition with kindness and such a gloriously chill vibe, channelling her energy into delivering killer performance after killer performance. And well and truly earning herself the crown.

As she returned to the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her for such a strong, diverse run. She gave glamour, humour and heart and well, she is the perfect winner of the inaugural title. And the piping hot Bread Palomalette that goes along with it.

This little social media number I spotted back during the darker times of COVID is an absolute delight and oh so simple. Part toasted sandwich, part omelette, all joy, this one pan wonder is worthy of a winner. Or us regular folks in need of a quick, hearty breakfast.

Enjoy!

Bread Palomalette
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
3 eggs
1 shallot, sliced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp unsalted butter
2 slices bread
2 slices American cheese

Method
Whisk the eggs and shallot together in a large bowl with a good whack of pepper and a better whack of salt.

Pop a large skillet over medium heat and add the butter. Once gloriously foamy and covering the pan, add the egg and shallot mixture and agitate the pan to form ripples. Dip the bread in the egg, then flip it to sit close to the edge. Repeat with the other slice of bread and place next to it, on the opposite edge.

After the egg is set, flip the entire omelette and bread so the top of the bread toasts. Pop the cheese on top of each slice of bread. Fold the omelette over the cheese before flipping one slice of bread on to the other to close all the cheesy egg inside a sandwich. Flip and cook for another minute or so, or until the bread is toasted. To regal perfection.

Then devour, victoriously. 


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Soavlaki De Muse

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the top three competed in an epic final challenge which involved learning languages, lip syncing, dancing and kiki-ing. In addition to stomping the runway in a gown, worthy of a crown. Aka the usual set-up. While Paloma struggled through rehearsal, she turned it out when taking the stage, embracing her charm and living her best life. Soa slayed literally any and all moment, while La Grande Dame was just so beautiful. And cool.

As has been the tradition of the season, La Grande Dame, Soa and Paloma were all fiercely talented icons. Though tragically, Nicky and Co. had to make a decision and while I already spoiled La Grande Dame as one of our runners-up, she shared the position with the owner of my heart Soa De Muse.

Despite a rocky start after her first win, there was no denying she was compelling as all hell and it was more of a situation of when rather than if she would bounce back. From giving killer, hilarious confessionals and being charming as all hell in the challenges and the Werk Room, she was well and truly the breakout star of the season.

And will make a very worthy winner of Drag Race France vs. The World.

As she exited the stage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and while I wanted to tell her she was the ultimate robbed goddess of the season, I couldn’t do it. Because France’s top three were all iconic talents in their own ways, which made it such a joy of a season to watch.

Instead, I reminded her that she is a star and while she didn’t leave with the crown, the season is only the beginning for her and I can’t wait for the globe to fall in love with her. Just like I have. Then I stopped myself short of calling her the second coming of Ru and simply served her a big, fat Soavlaki De Muse to show her my devotion.

You know I have a passion for sticking meat in my mouth, particularly if there is dough somehow involved. And this one is even more fun than usual. Packing a punch of garlic, you’re hit with a fresh kick of flavour that has you begging for more. Like us with Soa on our screens, you know?

Enjoy!

Soavlaki De Muse
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
⅓ cup olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ tsp smoked paprika
salt and pepper, to taste
1kg lamb shoulder, diced
2 red onions, sliced
400g Jaida Essence Halloumi, cut into large chips
6 Pita Andre Bread
⅔ cup Carole Radtzikiwill
2 cups Jud Beerza Battered Fries
1 tomato, diced
1 cup lettuce leaf

Method
Combine the olive oil, garlic, lemon zest and juice, oregano, thyme, cumin, chilli and paprika with a good whack of salt and pepper in a large bowl. Add the meat and onions and stir until well coated. Cover and pop in the fridge for a few hours, or ideally overnight.

To make the kebabs, preheat the oven to 180C. Thread the lamb onto metal skewers, trying to avoid overpacking them. Arrange the onion on a lined baking sheet before laying the skewers on top. Transfer to the oven and bake for about 20-30 minutes, or until browned on the outside. Add the haloumi in for the last 10 minutes to crisp up on the outside.

To assemble, smear the pita bread with a little bit of tzatziki, followed by the chips, tomato, lettuce, meat and finally the haloumi. Wrap into a tight cylinder and then devour greedily.


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Itejan Weddillay Soup

Main, Soup, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa the rapidly expanding jury was filling up with members of the former Masu tribe as everyone started turning on each other, rather than going after their pre-merge counterparts. While Steffi and Marian were locked in with each other, their other ally Meryl was not so solid and was ready to make a move, resulting in the blindside of Steffi. That obviously led to Marian seeing red, as she spit fire on her way to aligning with Dino. After taking out immunity, Marian was nervous about Meryl skipping out on tribal council with her pass. This led to an epic planning where Dino and Co. convinced her that they needed her vote, sending Marian out of tribal council while the rest of the tribe brutally blindsided Meryl.

Back at camp Marian was thrilled that Meryl had fallen into their trap and sent her back to camp before the vote. The remaining tribe soon joined her with Shane thrilled that the move brought the tribe together, with Marian congratulating everyone for pulling it off. With Killarney still sure that it was all her plan, which obviously annoyed Phil, given he, Felix and Dino are the ones that actually put in the work. Talk turned to how well Meryl took her blindside, with everyone agreeing her positive attitude is indicative of how great the season has been.

The next day Felix woke up his tribemates with news of an upcoming reward challenge, leading to speculation about why the challenge was starting so early in the day. Begging the question, is it a tough challenge or an epic reward? Like say, the loved ones visit. This got everyone hopeful about potentially spending some time with their loved ones. Killarney opened up about the recent loss of her mother and her partner in the space of a month just before the game and while she is still struggling with her grief, she is proud of how hard she has fought despite it. And oh god, I’m crying before we even got to the challenge!

After drying my tears, the tribe caught up with Nico where they learnt they would have to race on a balanced rig to spell out the name of the season without knocking it over. With the winner getting a big schnitty reward, alongside a cheeky call with their loved one and an advantage in the upcoming immunity challenge. This got Marian crying, while everyone agreed that seeing their loved ones would be the biggest advantage they could ask for. With that, the challenge kicked off with Phil absolutely powering ahead with Killarney nipping at his heels. Well, until she knocked her blocks off. While Felix and Tejan closed the gap, it was all for naught as Phil quickly took out the win.

Nico obviously decided to give him a little dilemma, offering him the chance to take two people on reward with him but only if he was willing to forfeit the food and advantage. The tribe kindly all told him to play it smart and hold on to the entire reward, while Tejan clarified how using the reward invite works and if he would simply be joining Phil on the reward, rather than taking it away from him. After the assurance both of them would get to go, he played his token and headed out for a little bit of love. And a share in the advantage. As they exited, Dino started to break down over the thought of his fiance sitting at her computer, about to be told they wouldn’t be talking and ugh, it is all too sad. And that is before Killarney even started worrying about how to keep her head in the game while still mourning.

Phil and Tejan arrived at their reward, giddy to smash some food before getting their video call. Oh and the advantage for the upcoming immunity challenge. While Phil didn’t want him to get the advantage, he was glad to have Tejan there with him and to have the chance to talk about potentially aligning. Hoping to split the immunity challenges between them and make a move against Dino and Marian as the last big threats left in the game. And while Phil hated the idea of turning on his friend, he knew it would be necessary eventually.

Speaking about Dino, he and Marian were talking about the threat Tejan poses to their games with Killarney joining the fray and agreeing that an immunity run could screw everyone up. Dino opened up to us about how he wants to progress with his biggest threats – Marian, Phil and Felix or Shane. Speaking of the latter two, they were bonding and floating the idea of working together while back with Marian and Dino, she didn’t want Killarney or Tejan getting anywhere near the end with her. Shane joined them, as Marian speculated who would take her to the end if she was in the final four with Phil, Shane and Dino.

Back at reward, Phil was first up to call his family and immediately started sobbing as he saw his wife and kids. He opened up to them about how tough the game has been, though assured them that he is focused and fighting through, sticking to everything they planned before heading out. He tagged out with Tejan who truly lit up when his partner, niece and nephew popped his sweet angel dog on screen. And ugh, his partner is so cute, telling him to just focus and make it further than he did in his first season. The duo then bonded over the chance to see their family, with Tejan thrilled by how much the reward has given him. And hoping it pays dividends in the long run. In my heart, for his dog.

The next day everyone started speculating about the immunity challenge, while Marian grew focused on getting rid of Felix to bring Phil back to her loving arms. She then told Dino that Felix has been throwing his name around, while Dino told her that he in fact was throwing out her name. Felix meanwhile genuinely started throwing out Marian’s name, given it frees up Shane to align with him and take control with the goats. Felix and Tejan then floated the idea of getting rid of Marian, with Dino assuring them that getting rid of Killarney is all that she really cares about at this point.

The tribe reconnected with Nico for the latest immunity challenge where everyone would have to stand on a ledge and balance a block of wood between a beam and their heads. With Phil and Tejan getting to start the challenge five minutes after everyone else, which is an epic advantage. Before the duo even started Marian lost her focus and dropped out of the challenge. Tejan dropped as quickly as he started, before Shane dropped out of nowhere. After fifteen minutes, Killarney dropped, soon followed by Dino leaving Felix – who was shocked not to be the first out – and Phil to battle for immunity. Eventually though, the advantage proved to be too much to overcome as Felix dropped his block and handed Phil immunity yet again.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Phil on his challenge win, with Killarney growing nervous about his new found beastly ways. Marian meanwhile was worried about how close Felix and Phil were getting, catching up with Dino and Shane to talk about who they should target with Marian wanting to get rid of Felix, while Dino knew Tejan and Killarney were also a risk as the remaining goats. As Phil, Felix and Killarney went down to the beach to fish, they noticed a symbol on a rock with Phil quickly pouncing on it and jagging a clue to a hidden immunity. Though tragically, he could not find it. While he was searching, Killarney admitted that she was finally ready to trust that Felix wants to work with her. And given she allegedly orchestrated the Steffi and Meryl blindsides, she felt he was lucky to have her.

Phil gave up on his search and joined up with Marian and Dino to plan the vote ahead, with them suggesting getting rid of Felix given his final four is clearly him and the goats. Speaking of Felix, he was busy catching up with Shane, who spilled the beans about Dino and Marian coming for him. Which obviously filled him with dread. Felix and Tejan then caught up, debating how much they can trust Shane while he was wondering how he can work the information if it comes out. Shane then caught up with Tejan, talking about the impending chaos, while Phil continued to desperately hunt for his idol.

Felix caught up with Phil, with Dino soon joining them to block any chat. After Felix wandered off to hunt for the idol, Dino checked whether Phil was ok with the thought of Felix going, with him admitting that he still wants to work with him but also wanted to get the trio to the end together. Phil and Felix caught up while Dino continued the hunt for the idol, before Killarney asked permission to start hunting for the idol. She then threw Phil under the bus, sharing that he found an advantage on the beach which made Dino fearful that it meant the boys had already commenced turning on him.

The next day Dino continued to worry about his place in the game, getting up early to look for the idol in the hope that Phil hadn’t found it yet. Marian meanwhile caught up with Phil and told him that Killarney told her he found a clue and while he tried to tell her his clue told him it was at the Outpost, she knew it was a lie and quickly became wary of him. Phil finally told Dino about the clue in the hope that he could help him, with Dino sadly deciding it meant he had found the idol already. And Phil girl, you’re in danger. Well, when you next lose immunity.

Tejan and Felix meanwhile were hanging out by the shore, speculating about what was going on with the tribe with Felix growing paranoid. Though admitting he would prefer to be paranoid, rather than getting voted out. Felix and Phil caught up, with the former sure that he was the target for the rival faction and as such, they needed to lock in the vote against Tejan. Despite the fact Phil was ready to turn on Dino but 24 hours earlier. The trio then caught up, with Phil trying to bring them together and block out all the noise floating around camp in the hope of dealing with whatever else they were planning down the track. 

After splitting up, Phil finally found what he was looking for. Well, kind of, as he got another clue, directing him to look for said idol at tribal council. Sadly for him, Shane saw him find it and as such, quickly took the information back to Marian and given Phil is clearly the biggest threat, they decided that they needed to take a shot at Felix to weaken him. Marian and Dino caught up, with the former pointing out that Phil is on his way to winning the game and as his biggest threats, they need to take out the people he wants to take to the top three until they can take a shot at him. Shane filled Tejan in on the plan, who was annoyed as he wanted to take out Dino or Marian instead. After talking to Dino, Tejan approached Felix to tell him of everyone conspiring against him, seemingly unaware it could cost him the game. But since he made a fake idol, maybe he will get lucky.

At tribal council Felix admitted to feeling very nervous about the upcoming vote, while Marian said it was a very confusing day at camp as everyone came up with rival plans. Tejan admitted he was very much a target, with Felix laughing about it all being a lie, given he knows for a fact he is the target. He then spoke about wanting to take a goat to the end, while Marian and Dino started whispering about who to vote for between Tejan and Felix. Tejan admitted that he thinks he has been perceived as a goat, while Dino said that he would far prefer to eliminate the goats, Cirie style, given the goats take up a seat at final tribal council and makes it just that much harder to get to the end.

Felix said he was debating between sticking with what he knows and changing things up, while Tejan mentioned that the biggest threats need to worry because the leftovers could band together and take control. Felix continued his fight to say, reiterating that him being there the next day is best for most people’s games. Tejan then unveiled his fake idol, with everyone knowing it is fake. Felix pointed out that Tejan’s game has been to float along in the middle, so while people think they have him, they can’t trust he will stay with them. Phil whispered to Killarney to put down Tejan, while Marian confirmed with Dino that they were voting for Felix before they headed off to vote. And promptly voted Tejan out, despite him not playing his fake idol because he felt everyone had his back.

Tejan was in good spirits as he arrived at Ponderosa, despite the blindside. He knew that he was a target and while his decoys and plans didn’t come together, he was happy that he exhausted all of his options and went out swinging. While a game like Tejan’s is not over showy TV, he expertly navigated the middle and reduced his target, which carried him all the way to the top 7. And that in and of itself, is enough to justify a piping hot Itejan Weddillay Soup.

While this little number is traditionally a hybrid of cheap meats and veggies – or marriage, if you will – the resulting soup acts like a bowl of love. Warm, hearty and oh-so-soothing, it is the perfect way to cure a cold, miserable day.

Enjoy!

Itejan Weddillay Soup
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
250g beef mince
250g pork mince
1 onion, diced
large handful of flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
3 eggs
3 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup panko breadcrumbs
⅔ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 tsp kosher salt, plus extra to taste
pepper, to taste
3L chicken stock
2 cups baby spinach
1 chilli, thinly sliced (and seeds removed if you can’t handly the heat)

Method
Pop the minces, onion about ⅔ of the parsley, an egg, the garlic, breadcrumbs and ½ cup of the parmesan in a large bowl with the salt and a good whack of pepper. Scrunch until well combined. Using wet hands, form into 1 tbsp sized meatballs and pop on a lined baking sheet.

Bring the stock to the boil over medium heat and once rollicking, maintain at a light boil. Gently drop in the meatballs and cook for about five minutes, or until tender and cooked. Whisk the remaining parmesan and eggs in a jug before pouring in the mixture, stirring, aiming to make thin strands of egg. Add in the spinach and chilli and cook for a further couple of minutes before removing from the heat and stirring through the parsley and seasoning to taste.

Allow to cool for a couple of minutes before serving and devouring, with extra lashings of cheese for good measure.


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Salsanté Verde Villiers

Condiment, Dip, Sauce, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor South Africa the tribes were gagged to learn they had merged while at tribal council. And not just that, they had also been gifted a new and improved camp. Despite being one big happy family, the internal battles of OG Masu continued to dominate the new tribe as Toni rallied an army to counter the early power of the Breakfast Club. Which for the record didn’t even survive a tribal council given they booted Chappies first. After Phil peed his way to individual immunity, both sides tried to rally the numbers with Marian, Meryl and Steffi coming out on top as Toni was booted and anointed as the second most important placing behind a Fourth Place Robbed Goddess, the Queen of the Jury.

Back at camp Tejan was a little embarrassed to have burnt his idol, admitting he was completely shocked by the fact Toni was the ultimate target. Steffi meanwhile felt she had no other choice but to vote out Toni, given her earlier alliances were clearly the best path forward.

The next day the tribe were well and truly drained, with Tejan in particular feeling like his days were numbered. Meryl pulled him aside to check in and see why they are no longer getting along. He told her that Steffi was the one that was feeding information to him and Toni and while it is true, she did not believe him for a second. Marian and Shane meanwhile caught up with Marian quickly pushing for Dante to be the next one out, given he is too close to Felix and Toni has already pledged her vote for him to win. She then caught up with Phil and Meryl, with both of the women trying to avoid being the first person to float Dante’s name. Though they eventually all agreed that he needs to go. Particularly because Meryl is exhausted by babysitting his mood swings.

After Meryl disappeared, Marian locked in her alliance with Phil. Despite the fact neither of them really know if they can trust each other. Meryl found Dante by the well with the latter quickly floating Dino as their next target, given everyone is slowly building their trust with him and he is concerned that everyone’s interests are growing more and more individual, rather than supporting his.

The tribe reconvened with Nico for the latest immunity challenge where they would have to race to collect three keys from the top of the dunes, then use said keys to unlock three chests to release puzzle pieces and then solve a puzzle. Oh and in addition to immunity, the victor would get to smash some Chinese takeout. Obviously Dante got out to an early lead before Tejan overtook him, while Steffi and Dino nipped at their heels. Tejan and Dante started working on their puzzles as everyone slowly started to join them. Out of nowhere, Meryl flew through her puzzle and jagged herself individual immunity before anyone even realised she had made it to the end.

She broke down, proud of winning immunity on Day 22, which is when she was voted out on her first season. Oh and it’s also her son’s birthday. Nico being messy took the kind moment and gave her the chance to pick three people to join her at reward with her smartly taking everyone that didn’t get to eat at the Merge Feast, who conveniently, were also the three people she felt like she needed to talk to about the upcoming tribal council.

Back at camp, Meryl discovered she had the choice to either smash the Chinese food or to take blankets for all the tribe. Ultimately choosing to take blankets, meaning everyone also got a fortune cookie. Meryl and Steffi floated who they think should be the next to go, suggesting Dante and Tejan. While Meryl assured them that she only voted against Toni for revenge and she invited them on reward to apologise to them and build trust. Meanwhile by the shelter, Dante and Shane caught up with Tejan about the fact his alliance clearly isn’t looking out for him given he wasn’t told about anything at the last vote. Though given Dante was super forceful about it, Shane was fairly confident that there was no way they were getting Tejan across the line.

Meryl and Co. returned from reward with the blankets, sharing that they gave up the chance for food for them. And when the response was a resounding meh, she instantly regretted her decision. Meryl then read the note about the fortune cookies, with Dino sure that the cookies lead to a trip to the Outpost. Which was 100% true, with Meryl hilariously getting it, meaning she is very likely to jag herself another advantage. Jealous of her swag, Marian whispered to Phil about Meryl’s growing power and suggested that they need to blindside her sooner rather than later. Steffi, Dante and Shane caught up on the beach with Steffi pretending she thought everyone was locked in on the easy Dino vote. And while she sold it, Dante was still nervous about whether he could trust what everyone was saying and that it wouldn’t be a surprise Tejan vote instead.

The next morning Dante quadrupled down on his focus to get rid of Dino while Shane was concerned that Tejan had disappeared to go hunting for an idol. Felix meanwhile was stuck in the middle of both of his alliances and as such, approached Meryl about identifying a third option. Which is all well and good if she didn’t see it as him pushing his own agenda. Steffi and Marian caught up with Meryl to talk about the vote, with Steffi well and truly ready to get rid of Dante. Marian meanwhile quietly grew more nervous about Meryl’s trip to the Outpost. Steffi caught up with Dino to talk about the upcoming vote, assuring him that the plan is to get rid of Dante, while he grew more and more nervous about the fact he could be the one getting played.

Meryl finally arrived at the Outpost where she discovered that if she was willing to give up her vote at the upcoming tribal council, she would get a 50:50 coin. Which duh, you know she is willing to add to her haul.

Back at camp Steffi had turned her attention to Shane, talking about getting rid of Dante next, while he was worried about upsetting Dante, despite him being a massive threat to his own game. Shane then caught up with Tejan, who was nervous about Shane just being on the wrong page about the Dante vote. Dino and Phil were also busy catching up, worried about the Dante vote being a smokescreen and that everyone is just planning to blindside them. And while Phil was confident he was safe, there was a nagging pit in his gut about Dino’s safety.

Meryl returned from the Outpost and caught everyone up on her story, telling them she had two bags to choose from and that she clearly chose the wrong one which led to her losing her vote at tribal council. Oh and Dante whispered to Marian about the fact nobody believed him about Rob running things on his original season, which cost him the game and handed Rob victory, which is why he is so fixated on getting rid of Dino.

At tribal council Tejan spoke about the fact the tribe is being led by a controlling alliance and that those that aren’t in charge need to realise that goats are not going to be earning the win this season. He then suggested the women are in charge, with Meryl pointing out that they are also horribly outnumbered, and that Tejan is clearly just scrambling. Tejan then outed Steffi for backstabbing Toni and lying to her about Dante and Meryl getting votes. This made Dante nervous, who got up and started whispering to people, with Marian telling Tejan to stop being a hypocrite while also assuring Dante he was safe and to stick to the plan. Marian and Tejan then started fighting, which made her far more likely to turn on him while Dante was concerned that anything could happen, while Steffi assured everyone that they should hold firm.

With that the tribe voted and Dante was gagged to be blindsided from the game and from my perspective, I was heartbroken to have lost our final speedo zaddy of the season. Given we’ve been down this path before, Dante knew to follow the sound of my tears to Ponderosa, where I pulled him in for a massive hug and told him how proud of him I was this season. But also, that I really loved his speedo and that I think he should design a line. And while he was sceptical, he was happy to drown his sorrows with a vat of Salsanté Verde Villiers.

You should know by now that while most people have their condiments on something, around here, we are fast and loose with the rules. And when they pack as much of a punch as this, why wouldn’t you shot it. I mean, Jaida has Tajin, let me have this, ok?

Enjoy!

Salsanté Verde Villiers
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
5 garlic cloves 
2 handfuls flat-leaf parsley 
1 handful fresh basil 
1 handful fresh mint 
⅓ cup capers 
¼ cup gherkins
1 tbsp Dijon mustard 
3 tbsp red wine vinegar 
½ cup extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper

Method
Pop everything in a blender or food processor and blitz until combined with only smaller chunks remaining.

Season to taste before devouring, either in shot form, or on a perfectly cooked steak. Your choice!


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Poutoni Tebburger

Burgers, Main, Street Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa the two tribes competed as individuals for the chance to be the hero that secures immunity for their entire tribe. After Toni managed to wheel and deal across both tribes to get Dino and Phil to step out of the challenge and give Masu immunity, Marian jumped ship with her diplomatic immunity to give herself a little bit of safety. Felix meanwhile was torn between voting out previous season ally Dante and current season ally Dino, while Toni tried to consolidate her power. Both tribes attended tribal council and despite planning to target a myriad of people, the iconic Palesa was booted. And then the tribes merged at tribal.

The newly formed Salan tribe arrived at their new camp, gagged for the night time surprise and by the fact they had a new shelter and bowls. Felix and Dante meanwhile only had eyes for each other, overjoyed to be reunited. Though given Marian could see how thrilled they were, the question really is, how long until the icon splits them up? Oh and all Steffi wanted is a little feast.

The next day Shane ventured to check treemail and found a little breakfast treat for each of them, in the form of protein shakes and a couple of bananas. Which obviously upset everyone, given they were expecting a feast. As they sat down to sadly eat their breakfast, Tejan accidentally took Steffi’s bowl. And let’s just say, there were a few fireworks. 

The tribe quickly ventured to meet Nico for a little reward challenge to earn their merge feast. With everyone having to use marbles and slingshots to break plates. With everyone getting to jag a meal once they’d busted all of their plates. Felix quickly earnt a plate of ribs, Steffi opted for a covered item which tragically ended up being a bowl of rice, Shane knocked out his plates but stuck around to help Marian as Phil jagged rice and spices for the tribe. Shane got his burger while Marian ate breakfast, while Dino got a guaranteed visit to the Outpost on Day 32, while Tejan got spag bol and wine. Dante got beer and biltong – yuck – before everyone came in to help the remaining trio, with Killarney getting donuts, Meryl getting a bag and Toni left with a single egg. Which TBH, is better than rice. Oh and Meryl’s bag gave her the chance to invite herself on a future reward. And we learnt that Phil’s tribe reward also came with a key to a chest that was waiting for them back at camp.

With that, they headed home and learnt that Phil’s other reward was a chest full of beers and soft drinks and well, everyone was thrilled. Dante was feeling confident of his place in the tribe, given he has the Breakfast Club alliance and Felix, who he wants to take to the end. He pulled Felix aside and floated the idea of getting rid of Toni first, given it neutralises a lot of counter alliances and maintains his power. Marian meanwhile caught up with Steffi, complaining about Toni having no interest in playing with her though was grateful to be getting intel from her via Steffi. That night Steffi and Toni caught up, with the former assuring Toni that they are a tight alliance but that she needs to keep playing both sides so that nobody thinks she is about to defect to her side of the tribe.

The next day Dino grew worried about Felix defecting from their alliance with Phil, with the trio going for a walk to catch-up. Felix quickly assured them he is true to them, rather than Dante and that he is simply trying to gather intel to protect all of them. Toni joined them, with her assuring them they also have Steffi and Tejan, which made Dino nervous given they clearly weren’t on board at the previous tribal council.

The tribe rejoined Nico for their first individual challenge of the season where they each had to stand on a small tilted platform leaning over the water and hold on to a rope, with the last person standing winning immunity. As soon as the challenge kicked off, Phil pissed his pants before Felix dropped out of nowhere. After transitioning to the second rope, Dino and Killarney dropped out, quickly joined by Dante, Meryl, Marian, Toni and Tejan, leaving only Steffi and Phil to battle it out for immunity. Well, until Steffi dropped out of nowhere and handed piss-pants individual immunity. Which makes it all worth it, right? I mean, Fabio pissed in a challenge and won the season, so maybe it is luck?

Back at camp everyone congratulated Phil on his hard-fought win before Dino and Toni caught up about the vote ahead. And while Toni was sure she had Steffi and Killarney, Dino wasn’t so sure and as such, planned to catch up with Steffi. Tejan meanwhile was feeling nervous about everything, so excused himself to go hunting for a hidden immunity idol. Which he promptly found, completely unnoticed by the rest of the tribe. Dino caught up with Steffi and assured her that he is happy to vote for whoever she wants to to build trust. Which obviously meant she wanted to get rid of Toni or Tejan, given that is where Toni’s loyalty lies. Toni meanwhile was catching up with Shane to see what his plans were, pitching that the tribe bands together to get rid of Dante, while Shane suggested to us he was just planning to get rid of the person that poses the biggest threat to derailing his plan to the end.

Toni then caught up with Phil, Tejan and Felix to suggest a split vote between Dante and Meryl to guarantee that if an idol is played, Dante is weakened. Steffi, Marian and Meryl meanwhile caught up to discuss plans, with them locking their votes against Toni. Which made Marian thrilled, given she felt the skin plotting was unnecessary pre-merge. The broader Breakfast Club then caught up and locked in their plan against Toni. While Dino, Felix and Phil then caught up, sharing that Toni wants to split votes while Dino tried to direct them in the direction of their surest bet. Whatever that may be.

At tribal council Felix spoke about how excited he was to finally make it to the merge, while Phil was thrilled to be at tribal council with immunity. Shane spoke about how his former decisions could impact his post-merge game while Tejan was sure this tribal council would establish the balance of power. Steffi spoke about everyone just trying to look out for themselves until the power becomes obvious, while Shane wanted to take out someone that will disrupt his game. Meryl meanwhile was booted at the merge on her season and as such, was just trying to lay low and let other people make the decisions tonight. While Dante spoke about everyone also having to navigate egos this season, while Toni wanted to focus on trust.

With that the tribe voted and feeling paranoid, Tejan needlessly played his hidden immunity idol as majority or the tribe banded together to get rid of Toni to become the Queen of the Jury. Which is important. While she was obviously heartbroken to be out of the game despite fighting so hard to get out of the minority, she was proud to be the one to set the tone of the jury. Oh and since burgers are almost as cursed around here, she could kinda sorta blame my Poutoni Tebburger for her downfall.

There is nothing better than a little bit of poutine action and since I have a passion for making foods into burgers or pizzas, you know this moment was kind of inevitable. I mean, how could you not love a little cheeseburger covered in some gravy? Exactly!

Enjoy!

Poutoni Tebburger
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
250g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
2 slices American cheese
2 Briocher Bünsberg
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
3-4 pickles, sliced
2-3 leaves butter lettuce, washed
½ cup cheese curds
1 cup Jud Beerza Battered Fries
½ cup Piper Perapoutine gravy

Method
Combine the beef mince with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch with your hands until it all comes together. Form into two equal discs and pop in the freezer while you prep the rest of the stuff.

When you’re ready to go, pop a skillet over medium heat and once scorching, pop the patties on and flatten with a spatula. Cook for a couple of minutes, or until nice and charred on the base before flipping over. Place a slice of cheese on both of the patties and cook for a further couple of minutes or until cooked through.

To assemble, split the buns and lightly toast. Smear mayo on the base of each, followed by the pickles, the pattie, lettuce, fries, curds and a good drizzle of the gravy before closing the burger. And smashing, gloriously!


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La Big Breakfast Buritha

Breakfast, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the final six were tasked with forming two girl groups. UK3 style, with two different versions of the same song. This time with a rock edit replacing the ballad. While everyone kind of nailed the assignment, Soa well and truly ate the most and made us feel well and truly fed. Despite an all around strong week, somebody tragically had to be named as the bottom two with Paloma and Elips deemed the weakest. And after another novelty royalty-free lip sync, Elips sadly went home.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to find a very long-winded mirror message from Elips and while it was a bitch to clean for Paloma, it was super sweet and only added to the dolls feeling heartbroken for her. Everyone praised Paloma on killing the lip sync, and again, we didn’t hear the song, so we’ll trust them. Though, I do live for the idea of a season of novelty lip syncs only, right? Because the last one was an absolute bop!

The next day the dolls were giving air hostess realness as they returned, before congratulating Soa for winning her second challenge. Talk turned to what they’ll be facing next, with Paloma wanting an acting challenge given that is the only one she has won so far. Before we could hear anymore, the cock crowed to announce Nicky’s arrival to challenge the dolls with a little puppet mini challenge. Because everybody loves puppets. Big Bertha got puppet Lolita, Soa picked Paloma out of the Pit Crew’s box – swoon – Lolita got – Grande Dame, while Paloma got Bertha, leaving Grande Dame with Soa. 

After dragging up their shady boots puppets – the France producers are iconic with Grande Dame’s loooooooong legs – Bertha gave the full Lolita fantasy in the best, verbal-diarrhoea way possible. Soa was a camp, dramatic delight as Paloma, she in turn was hilariously on point as Bertha. Lolita then stole the show, barely seeing over the puppet theatre as she bored the dolls with her impersonation of Grande Dame. Proving you don’t have to be good to steal a show. Though I guess Grande Dame also stole the show with her pitch perfect Soa yo-yo-yo, in the right way. So she truly stole things? Ultimately though, neither won the challenge as Nicky crowned Paloma.

The dolls then learned that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would have to name and brand their own perfumes, and then film a commercial. But more importantly, the Pit Crew returned looking hot AF with their boxes. As the winner of this week’s Mini Challenge, Paloma was able to allocate said boxea, gifting Bertha iridescent inspiration, Soa bamboo, Grande Dame leather, Lolita got pink sequins and keeping crushed velvet for herself.

With the boxes ready, Nicky departed and the girls unveiled them to find their perfume muses with Paloma, as expected, getting glamour and champagne. Bertha meanwhile got rainbow-clown chic. Minus the chic. Soa got the flavours of the Amazon jungle, Grande Dame’s was obviously leather daddy dom, while Lolita’s inspiration was disco influencer. Everyone started to work on their storyboards before Nicky returned to kiki with Paloma choosing to make fun of herself and the fact she isn’t Paloma Picasso. Bertha was going with the annoying-hen’s-party cliche, Soa planned to give office worker glamazons the scent to kill toxic masculinity. Grande Dame meanwhile was nervous about serving the challenge, while Nicky encouraged her to make it her own before Lolita shared she was planning to go hormonal teen pop star.

Soa was first to film her commercial and well, the Pit Crew were rocking skimpy panties, so I am wet. And she looked to be having fun. But honestly, how could you not? Grande Dame was hilarious as a mechanic, though she forgot to pack her perfume, so it could go either way. That being said, I love her. Paloma was a delight from start to finish, executing all her ideas and doing it perfectly. And then Lolita was a total boss, getting the Pit Crew in costume and living her best life. Bertha meanwhile was a drunk mess, and I love it.

Jour de l’elimination arrived with everyone talking about how they make their living. With Paloma and Grande Dame being full-time queens. As talk turned to how they got their start, Bertha admitted she was sick of getting dressed in bathrooms, while Soa only earnt $20 for her first gig. Bertha then opened up about how she started drag professionally after being diagnosed with cancer.  She explained that drag gave her the bright light to look for at the end of the tunnel and something to work towards and fuck, why do I keep crying?!

Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy were joined by Yseult et Alexandre Mattiussi for the Haute Couture runway where La Grande Dame looked straight off the runway in an all black, corseted number with a Gaultier hat. Big Bertha draped nude sheer fabric over her like a caftan and while I love her body-positive message, it felt a bit lazy. Lolita came out on stilts to reach Grande Dame’s height, with a glamour pin cushion on her head. Soa was cool in black, leather and frills before Paloma closed the show with an iconic recreation of a 1920s fashion illustration.

When it came to the commercials, Grande Dame was a hetero mess in the most chrming way possible. Bertha was high energy and fun as the most amusing bachelorette. Lolita meanwhile made no sense, but I loved it. Soa knocked it out of the park as the boss bitch of the office. And then Paloma did one better, leaning into the stereotypes of perfume commercials like Alaska before her, and was just so silly and entertaining.

Grande Dame received universal praise for the runway though they wanted a little more sturcture in the commercial. Bertha meanwhile was read for her runway and for not taking the commerical where she wanted it to go. Lolita was praised for nailing the runway despite her simple commercial. Soa received universal praise for elevating all that she did this week, while Paloma received even better critiques than Soa, giving perfection in all that she did. Paloma then thanked Nicky for her kindness and support throughout the competition and ugh, I’m crying, Nicky’s crying and I love them all.

Nicky then pivoted and asked the shady question of who should go home toight with Grande Dame thinking it is Lolita’s time to go. Bertha agreed it should be Lolita, while Lolita identified Bertha. Very begrudgingly. Soa and Paloma then identified Lolita too, while she quietly cried on stage.

Backstage the dolls were still caught up in all the emotion with Lolita feeling like she doesn’t belong, while her sisters all tried to remind her how great she is and how much they have grown to love her. Lolita called everyone out for only just getting to know her recently, with Soa sharing that she is frustrated by the fact she always felt like she didn’t belong.

Ultimately Soa was deemed safe as Paloma secured her second win, while at the other end of the pack Grande Dame was deemed safe, leaving Bertha and Lolita to battle it out for safety to Yseult’s Corps. And well, I was not only gagged by the fact they paid for the international rights, because they turned it. Bertha emoted every single moment and was so powerful, but there was no beating Lolita who did a slow mo split while ripping off her wig before straight up shaving her head on stage. Bertha was stripping, Lolita stripped AND THEN THEY PERFORMED TOGETHER. Crying, hugging and oh my god, it was amazing. I was crying, they were crying, the judges were crying. It was, perfection. Or le-gend-daire, if you will. 

Tragically despite the emotion felt by everyone, somebody had to go as Lolita saved herself and zaddy Bertha was tragically eliminated from the competition. As her sisters and the judges sobbed.

While it was heartbreaking to see her go, my second favourite platitude to offer the queens is that being a robbed goddess is often better than making the finale. And well, Bertha definitely fits the bill. She absolutely slayed every moment of the competition and while she didn’t win any challenges, I’d argue she didn’t really bomb any either. Which is reason enough for me celebrating her run with a La Big Breakfast Buritha.

My favourite thing in life is to turn any food into breakfast by cracking an egg on top and calling it a day, but I assure you, this is far more elevated. Crisp bacon, crunchy hashies and a fresh salsa work together to give you the best start possible to your day.

Enjoy!

La Big Breakfast Buritha
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4 hash browns
6 rashers streaky bacon, diced
6 eggs
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp butter
2 large tortillas
½ cup cheddar cheese, grated
⅔ cup Salsa Struthers

Method
Start by cooking your hash browns as per packet instructions, or if homemade, until extra crispy.

Pop a skillet over medium heat and cook the diced bacon until nice and crispy. Transfer to a plate lined with paper towel to drain.

Whisk the eggs with a little bit of salt and a generous whack of pepper. Add the butter to the still hot pan and once melted and foamy, pour in the eggs. Agitate to form ripples on the base before gently stroking across the pan in different directions to form ribbons of delicately cooked egg. Once cooked to your liking, remove from the heat.

To assemble, sprinkle some cheese in the centre of each tortilla. Add the hash browns, egg, salsa and bacon, and no judgement if you sprinkle some more cheese on at this point. Fold in either side before rolling to form a nice enclosed pocket of goodness. And then, devour.


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Schmearus Holmes

Breakfast, Condiment, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa with Tania gone, the target on Pinty’s back was briefly reduced. Though given she continued to upset people on her tribe, it quickly grew back bigger than ever. After Yontau lost another immunity challenge, it looked like the tribe were going to send her from the game. That is until Phil and Dino hatched a plan to blindside Tevin from the game for being too powerful. Oh and to make Pinty feel super loyal to them. They went person to person until they had enough numbers, leaving Seamus, Shona and Killarney on the outs as Tevin exited the game.

The next day Seamus was disappointed to find himself on the outs with his tribe, despite not really caring that his buddy Tevin left. To try and fix things, he approached Dino to clear the air and see why he was left out. Dino admitted to us that he never knew where he stood with Seamus, though he apologised to him and said they can work together moving forward. Phil meanwhile was thrilled by how everything went down, glad to have built trust with a majority AND have Pinty’s undying loyalty. Shona meanwhile was also feeling disappointed, worried that once again her tribe was underestimating her. Though she assured us it would be at their peril. And well, werk Queen Shona.

Over at Masu Dante was busy removing the symbols from the trees as they all anticipated a swap. He then moved over to Toni and assured her that he is always willing to work with her and come swap, he wants her to know he can be trusted.

The tribes met up with Nico for the next reward challenge where they were gagged to remain on their OG tribes. Anyway, one person would sit in a crate and be wheeled and carried through an obstacle course by the rest of the tribe before solving a puzzle at the end. First tribe to finish getting to spin a wheel to decide their reward. Despite a slower start, Dino’s untying – with burnt hands, no less – got Yontau out to an early lead. Finishing in a blow-out, despite a late-breaking burst from Meryl on Masu, as once again they struggled to work as a team. After spinning the wheel Yontau were less than thrilled to discover they won a bag of lentils. They were thrilled, however, to get the chance to invite two people from Masu to join them, who will also get a chance to spin the wheel. And just like that, Toni and Tejan locked in mac and cheese for them. Well Toni, but Tejan got to go for the trip too so let’s give him some credit.

Back at camp Marian, Dante and Steffi worried about how much shit Toni will talk about while on the reward. Palesa meanwhile was busy working her way back in with her tribemates, speculating who was the biggest threat on the other tribe, with Dante identifying Dino and boy was he laser focused on getting him out ASAP! Speaking of Dino, he and the Yontau tribe were joyously smashing their mac and cheese as Toni warned everyone about how threatening Dante is. Particularly for the men. And while she was running her mouth, poor Tejan just looked on, worried about how to navigate her mouth moving forward.

They returned to the Masu camp with Toni feeling the welcome was frosty and therefore chose to hold back sharing most of the information. And sadly for her, everyone knew it. As such, Shane went for a walk with Tejan, where he admitted how much information Toni gave the rival tribe and he was now willing to join the rest of the tribe to vote her out.

The next day Seamus was still busy making new friends to take control over at Yontau, doing some yoga with Killarney. While she wanted to work with Dino, Seamus suggested he was only wanting to protect the strong men to help him come merge. And while she was open to all plans, she ultimately just wanted to stick with the numbers until after the merge. Seamus then tried his luck with Shona where things went far more poorly, as she didn’t buy anything he was saying and as such, was ready to turn on him instead. Over at Masu, Steffi and Marian continued to bond, with Steffi going so far as to share the fact she found the hidden immunity idol.

Zaddy Nico made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would have to solve a puzzle to release a key, unlock a gate and climb through some obstacles before solving another, giant slide puzzle. While Masu generally struggles with the challenges where they have to work together, they managed to get out to an early lead. Well, until Yontau caught up at the final puzzle as Masu struggled to listen to one person. While Yontau started to pull ahead, Masu managed to get things together, overtake them and secure immunity once again.

Back at camp Shona quickly got to work scrambling, approaching Phil to float the idea of getting rid of Seamus before he could turn things on Dino. Killarney soon joined them and the trio locked in the vote, but Killarney was quite confused so it could get cooked like Cara before her. Seamus meanwhile was busy approaching Pinty about getting rid of Dino, worrying that a swap is imminent and not wanting to face off against him during a puzzle challenge. After locking in Pinty, he approached Thoriso to join what he felt was their final number. Thoriso meanwhile was not keen, immediately approaching Pinty about getting rid of Seamus too. Much to her absolute delight.

Unaware everyone else was already down to get rid of Seamus, Shona approached Dino to fill him in on everything that had been going on around camp. And while Dino had wanted to protect Seamus in the game, he was happy to pivot and turn on him instead. With him quickly looping in Felix, as he delighted in everyone working for him and essentially doing his dirty work. Oh and he was going to throw a vote on Killarney JIC Seamus had an idol.

At tribal council Shona spoke about the tribe generally being unified, despite being left out of the loop on the last vote. Phil agreed that while that will happen, the tribe collectively wanted to get as many people to merge and that is unwavering. Thoriso stopped Nico from pulling apart the argument, saying that unity is about sticking together in the face of differences and not a sign of any larger problem. Like a damn boss. Killarney explained how the votes have been based on a number of reasons, while Dino just wanted to play the game without being malicious and always wanted to be fun and friendly. While Seamus said it would be silly to trust everyone, though he was trying not to be paranoid and trust is all about taking a leap of faith. Which Felix agreed with.

With that the tribe voted and poor Seamus found he lept in the wrong direction, as the tribe banded together to boot him from the game. While Seamus spoke about the trauma of being voted out first in the Philippines, it forced him out of his shell and to address things that were bothering him. And that introspection, led to him being an absolute delight this go around and while I was sad to see him go so soon, I am proud about how he had grown. Which is word-for-word what I told him as we smashed Schmearus Holmes in Loser Lodge.

Yeah yeah, bagels and cream cheese are a match made in heaven. But if you really want to elevate your breakfast experience, a good schmear is where it’s at. And this one is glorious. Salty bacon, sweet shallots and a hint of paprika work together to start your day right.

Enjoy!

Schmearus Holmes
Serves: 1 person with a spoon, TBH.

Ingredients
100g bacon, diced
250g cream cheese, softened 
4 spring onions, finely sliced
1 tsp paprika
salt and pepper, taste

Method
Place a frying pan over medium heat and cook the bacon for a few minutes, or until crisp. Remove and drain on a paper towel until cool.

Once chill, combine everything in a bowl – less salt, more pepper is my advise – or using the paddle attachment in a stand mixer if you’re feeling lazy. Transfer to a serving bowl and leave to chill for half an hour or so before schmearing on a bagel. Or devouring with a spoon. Because it is good.


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