Pepper

Chickemily Flippenne in Parmesan Cream Sauce

Main, Pasta, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Austin handed his idol off to Julie ahead of a team immunity challenge, unsure what weird variation of tribal council could screw his ally out of the game. Thankfully it was all for nought as Jeff opted against too much chaos, allowing the Rebas to take control of the tribe. After Emily jagged a reward and took the ladies for an overnight vacay, they locked in a plan to blindside Bruce should he not win immunity. The only catch being his pesky idol. As such, they got to work convincing him he was safe and that Mama J – aka Julie – was the true target as she was such a massive threat to win. After Austin took out immunity, Emily worked overtime on Bruce to the point I wasn’t actually sure what the plan was until everyone banded together and blindsided Bruce with an idol in his pocket.

Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to have pulled off an epic blindside. None more so than Katurah, who was giddy to have finally felled her lecturing, micro-managing nemesis. Julie meanwhile was shocked that she was the one he voted for, given ironically, she was the only one willing to work with him. Emily jumped in to provide context, pointing out she went to Bruce and told him that Julie was playing him and that she was happy to join him to blindside her to protect him, which is the actual reason he never played his idol. And while everyone was shocked and excited to hear how detailed her plan was, Julie grew wary of just how threatening Emily could prove to be.

After everyone went to sleep, the Reba 4 caught up by the shore, congratulating each other for officially taking control before promptly locking in an official final four. Julie and Drew then went back to camp, leaving Austin and Dee to flirt and be all cute as they watched the stars and yeah, I ship them. As they likened themselves to Boston Rob and Amber (kinda), and ugh, I love love. But given they vowed to take each other to the final three, you know someone random is winning the final immunity challenge and they will be the duo facing off in fire for the final spot. Mark. My. Words.

The next day Jake continued to feel left out, hoping that the seven votes he has received thus far will be it for the game. Meaning he will be a zero vote finalist. Mark those words too. He and Katurah caught up, locking in an alliance to go to the end, no doubt because Katurah can already tell that he wouldn’t get votes at the end. Jake opened up about being a lawyer, encouraging Katurah and telling her she could be a lawyer herself, if she wanted. After Julie joined them, Katurah felt compelled to share her story and while she didn’t admit to being a lawyer, she spoke about her harrowing childhood, being pulled out of school at 10 after her family joined a cult and that she missed years, before her mum pulled them out of the cult when she was earmarked as the leaders next wife. And then she worked her arse off to catch up and continued to thrive until she achieved her dreams to fight for other black women.

And yeah, you know I am rooting hard for Katurah now.

A boat then arrived at camp offering a journey for one, with everyone wanting to go, meaning they had to draw rocks. With Emily, the most reluctant, the one to win the trip. As she departed, Julie and Drew spoke about Emily slowly building her resume and being a threat. Julie then suggested that maybe now would be the time to get rid of her, which Drew quickly shut down. Making Julie nervous as she noticed him getting more and more suspicious. Julie and Dee caught up, with the latter agreeing that Drew is the one she is most suspicious of. Particularly since he is close with Emily, and they just can’t trust that she will tell the truth about what happens on her journey.

Speaking of which, Emily arrived at Journey Island where she wandered the shore and discovered the ring puzzle that four people failed at earlier this season. However she was too scared about not having her vote at seven, so bounced, despite knowing everyone would be back at camp talking about targeting her.

Katurah and Jake were busy practising fire with Drew, who wanted to know who they would be willing to go to the end with. And while they were coy, Katurah agreed that she just doesn’t think she could beat Julie or Dee. Leading to Drew, eventually, getting them to agree that getting rid of Julie should be their absolute priority. Katurah then wandered off and caught up with Austin, pointing out that she isn’t really sure who she wants to go to the end with, but she does already know who she doesn’t want to go with: Julie. With Austin quickly and calmly agreeing that she is right, particularly since she wanted to get Julie out, followed by Emily. Not his girlfriend. Austin then caught up with Drew to see what he was thinking, with Drew working hard to convince him that getting rid of Julie should be the priority, given she isn’t even willing to return his idol.

Emily returned to camp, talking everyone through the experience in full, honest detail. Which obviously meant Dee and Julie didn’t buy it. Emily went for a walk, with Drew following to let her know that Julie is well and truly out to get her. Leaving the duo to go person to person to rally the troops against each other. 

Jeffrey finally made an appearance for this week’s immunity challenge where they would have to unravel rope that they would be tethered to, then race through a series of obstacles, toss sandbags at blocks and then use the blocks to solve a rainbow puzzle. Oh and the winner would get an epic BBQ reward for them back at camp. Jake was first to make a start before quickly realising he didn’t have enough rope, allowing Drew to power ahead as the rest of the tribe struggled. Austin closed the gap and it became a battle as the boys tried to figure out the puzzle. With Drew eventually figuring out how to make it work on both sides, handing himself immunity. As he channelled Michelle and kicked shit, just for funsies. You know Probst then offered Drew the chance to share his BBQ with someone, opting to take Jake given they haven’t had a reward. And then Austin, to keep guys’ night alive.

Back at camp the girls went off to luxuriate in the ocean and read up on the history of buffs, given they are all planning to target either Julie and Emily. Eventually Dee suggested they vote out Jake just to make things less awkward. We then caught up with the boys who were smashing their burgies and TBH, it truly did look lovely. They then debated the merits of getting rid of Julie or Emily and while Jake didn’t exactly trust anyone, he did trust that they needed him this round and as such, happily jumped on board the Julie vote. Agreeing to keep Dee out of the loop as long as possible to reduce the chances of her playing the idol.

They came back together where the guilt started to play on Austin as he worried about telling Dee. As such, they went for a walk together along the shore with Dee sharing she is locked to get rid of Emily, before Austin casually, awkwardly, shared that there is currently a growing movement against Julie. Which Dee obviously hated, though she tried to hide it, given she didn’t want her emotions getting the best of her. After thinking on it, she figured trusting her heart has proven successful thus far, so caught up with Julie at the shelter and told her to play her idol tonight. Julie then caught up with Jake and Emily to suggest the plan was one of the girls, though she would happily make a move against Austin if they wanted. After Julie went for a walk, Emily told Julie that she is trying to rally the troops against Austin, which resulted in all of them descending into chaos. As Drew and Austin bickered about whether Dee spilled the beans and Dee tried to talk Julie out of targeting Austin and to stick to the plan to blindside Emily.

At tribal council Drew and Julie spoke about how the game gets easy as it goes along, given everyone becomes more and more desensitised to blindsiding people. Katurah spoke about the fact you need to successfully compartmentalise, while Emily pointed out that everyone has full bags with them tonight as nobody can trust they will be safe. Drew tried to be cagey before unleashing about how they are in a new page of history, a wanky way of saying they are thinking who they want to face off against in the final three. Julie and Emily spoke about how they have tried to steel their emotions as they planned to vote out someone they love, with Austin agreeing it has come to the point of having to simply figure out who’s motives align with yours. While Katurah admitted she was scared about the chance of an idol, given everyone played their cards so close to their chest.

With that the tribe voted as everyone – including Dee, as per the plan – voted for Julie, before she played Austin’s gifted idol in a very showy move, sending Emily out of the game with a single, solitary vote. Emily found her way to Ponderosa by following my screaming tears, before pulling me in for a massive hug and assuring me she would be fine. Sadly for her, it didn’t pacify me, as I screamed that I would not be. After 40 minutes of heaving sobs though, I finally realised I will be fine because Emily is one of the breakout stars of the new era and as such, will return multiple times over the years and will likely win on her second outing. And until then, we’ll always have Chickemily Flippenne in Parmesan Cream Sauce.

This is one of those perfect soothing dishes for the end of the year when we’re all limping to a break. Rich and creamy, with a sweet punch of tomato, this all works in harmony to fill your stomach and warm hearts. Just like Emily throughout the season.

Enjoy!

Chickemily Flippenne in Parmesan Cream Sauce
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g penne
1 tbsp olive oil
2 chicken breasts, diced
1 cup button mushrooms, thinly sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup sundried tomatoes, drained and roughly chopped
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tbsp flour
2 cups cream
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
2 cups baby spinach, washed
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil and cook the pasta per the cooking instructions, minus a minute. Drain, run under cool water and to rest.

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the chicken, stirring, for five minutes or so, or until cooked through. Add the mushrooms, garlic, sundried tomato and Italian seasoning, cooking until fragrant and the mushrooms are soft. Add the butter and flour and cook for a further couple of minutes before stirring in the cream. Bring to a near-boil, reduce to low and stir in the parmesan until smooth. Finally stir in the baby spinach and cook until wilted. Remove from the heat.

Once the pasta is ready, stir through the sauce, season and serve. Then add a little more parmesan and devour, like a boss. Ideally with a glass of confessional wine.


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Lemon Chicken Bruce Perrissoles

Main, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the Reba alliance were slowly but surely eliminating the threats to their final four dreams. Kendra meanwhile was feeling heartbroken to have lost her bestie Kellie due to Bruce taking out immunity. Though was assured he was still the target. Obviously that meant that he took out yet another win. At reward, Julie, Kendra and Bruce locked in a plan to get rid of Jake instead. Back at camp Emily was also keen to take out Jake, however Dee had other plans. Given Kendra was out to get her, she realised she had to take a shot to save herself, so yet again, convinced her alliance to flip the vote and take our the premiere the Drew Barrymore impressionist, Kendra.

Back at camp Jake was once again gagged to still in the game, though decided that given he is still here, he now must also have allies in the game. Which isn’t really the case. He, Drew and Emily meanwhile were busy talking about getting rid of Bruce, or at the very least, flushing his idol ASAP. Meaning one of those things is happening today, given subtlety isn’t really a thing for the modern Survivor editors.

The next day everyone was thrilled to have a lovely little sleep, except for Julie, who was starting to feel wracked with guilt after blindsiding Kellie and Kendra back-to-back. She started to break down, feeling like her betrayals are really cutting people to their core and while she is happy to play that maternal role, she isn’t loving the way it is exacerbating her betrayals. As they assured each other it was only a game, Katurah, Bruce and Emily were catching up about how much of a threat the Reba 4 are, with Emily starting to realise the boys may not be as loyal to her as she thinks. The problem being Bruce, Katurah and Jake can’t work together, and Bruce doesn’t realise the power of playing his idol to flip the game, rather than just saving himself once. 

I was then instantly proven wrong as Bruce went on a tour testing whether he could successfully act like he gave Kellie his idol before her blindside to avoid a potential Knowledge is Power play, so now is without an idol. In the hope Jake would leak to the Rebas and he could have a showy move.

The tribe caught up with Jeff for the latest reward challenge where they would run through an obstacle course before guiding a ball through a table maze. For a trip to the Sanctuary for a Thanksgiving feast – essentially – and an overnight sleep in a bed. Austin, Bruce, Dee and Jake got out to an early lead, though TBH, everyone was pretty neck and neck up until the table maze. Where everyone dropped over and over again until Austin and Emily got their eye in, with Queen Emily jagging victory. Like an icon. She immediately burst into tears, sharing that everyone was kindly offering to take her to the Sanctuary given she hasn’t been, so to be able to get to go because of her own victory meant the world to her. Jeff then announced she would also get letters from home on reward, picking Julie to join her given she is clearly struggling. As is Probst’s way, he told her another person could come, opting for Katurah. And then Dee, going for a ladies night.

We followed the gals out as they joyfully sat down for their epic feast, praising the hell out of each other and ugh, I love to see it. As do I love Emily’s confessional, sitting there with a wine like an icon. They assured each other that a woman will be the winner of the season, with the group agreeing Bruce needs to go to help them keep winning. They then locked in a split vote between Bruce and Jake in the hope of getting rid of Bruce for Katurah’s delicious revenge. While Katurah dunked on Bruce for trying to pretend his idol went out with Kellie.

Back at camp the guys were busy being guys, allegedly, farting and burping and TBH, I loved the soundtrack if nothing else. While Drew was delighting in finally being able to bro out, rather than watch from the sidelines. While Austin was thrilled to feast on meat. Of the fish he caught, rather than what I’d love to watch. As Austin was busy fishing, Bruce and Jake meanwhile were trying to pick a target, with Bruce pointing out they need Dee gone ASAP. Jake, meanwhile, was hitching his wagon to the Rebas, going to Drew to warn him about the plan and the fact Bruce lost his idol with the Kellie blindside. Which absolutely delighted Austin and Drew. And will in turn delight us when they hilariously learn it is a lie.

We checked back in on the gals where they finally opened their letters and broke down in tears as their loved ones spoke about how proud of them they are. Emily was ready to maybe get married, while Katurah started to sob, as she found a letter from her mother, who she had decided to cut off about a year ago.

The next day the tribe came together, with Drew telling Emily about the situation with Bruce’s idol. Before Emily instantly assured him Bruce doesn’t have an idol and Jake was fed a lie. Knowing everyone treats Jake like a pawn, Emily tried to win him over, pointing out that he is the back-up target and that everyone is against him. As such, he then decided to throw out Drew as an option instead. Obviously Julie took it to Drew, who immediately confronted Jake and let’s just say, he was not thrilled to hear his name. And while Drew tried to talk it through, Jake told him it was over and well, it was hilariously iconic.

The tribe met Probst in the middle of the ocean where they would each lie on a ramp over the water, holding themselves up on tiny handholds, with the last person standing taking out immunity. Almost instantly Emily dropped before Katurah struggled with the thought of falling into the water, stepping off to avoid the surprise. Everyone transitioned to a lower handhold, which cost Julie her spot. They moved down to the smallest handhold and had to put their legs out straight for the rest of the challenge, with Dee dropping instantly, followed by Drew and Jake, leaving Austin and Bruce to battle it out. At least for another couple of minutes, before Bruce dropped, handing Austin immunity. As everyone screamed and cheered. Probst then announced they could bring the boat in for Katurah if she is too scared to swim out, however everyone rallied around her and helped her over and ugh, it was beautiful and I love Probst for manufacturing it.

Back at camp Bruce quickly assured us and the tribe that he would be playing his idol, with the ricochet going home. As everyone assured him that it would then mean Jake is going home. Katurah and Emily were discussing how it is unlikely that Jake would win the game however, while Julie is highly likely to score the votes and as such, decided they need to get rid of her ASAP. Emily ventured off to loop in Bruce, before we learnt this may just be a plan to get him to not play an idol. Bruce then caught up with Jake, with the duo realising getting rid of Julie was the only way to guarantee the former Belos make it to the end, however given he has been played week after week, Jake just wasn’t sure who to trust. As he broke down in tears, Katurah checked in to see if he was ok, assuring him that she has his back and to just relax. Bruce then arrived and gave him a peptalk and ugh, it was super sweet to see. And now I love Bruce.

Speaking of Bruce, he was nervous about the plan coming together, given Jake was starting to spiral. Unaware that Emily is gleefully playing him just to avoid an idol play.

At tribal council everyone spoke about the difference in the energy, given Bruce is no longer immune. Bruce admitted it made him nervous, though calmly threatened that he would be playing his idol. Jake meanwhile was happy to have been involved in discussions lately, though he still feared being left out. As it makes him feel dumb. Austin and Julie tried to make him feel better, with Julie then opening up about the extra burden that comes to her being christened the mama, as people are more likely to feel betrayed by her. Drew spoke about tonight feeling different, given they are far more ambiguous about the game they’re all playing, the closer it gets to the end. While Katurah, Emily and Jake spoke about it being harder to make a move as the numbers dwindled. Julie meanwhile was confident she won’t be going home, while everyone agreed an idol is likely to be played tonight. As they giggled about the fact Bruce may not even play it.

With that the tribe voted and Bruce ultimately held onto his idol for another day, which turned out to be a huge mistake, as three votes piled up on Jake, one on Julie and the rest on Bruce, blindsiding him with the idol in his pocket. And kill off his other day. As he walked in to Ponderosa, I hid and did some slapstick humour, which is Bruce and my love language. He then pulled me in for a massive hug and thanked me for being on hand to cheer him up. I assured him that his personality is definitely not too much and that he isn’t overbearing, so to embrace who he is because that is perfect. Yeah, totally out of character for me, but Bruce is an absolute delight and deserves a little love. In the form of my Lemon Chicken Bruce Perrissoles.

There is nothing I love more than a little bit of lemon and chicken, and this easy rissoles are truly a perfect pairing. A punch of chilli, the tange of lemon and the smooth, sweet parmesan, they are an absolute delight. Like Bruce.

Enjoy!

Lemon Chicken Bruce Perrissoles
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken mince
5 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested
1 egg
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
1 tbsp cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
¼ cup mint, roughly chopped
2 tbsp parmesan cheese, grated
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil

Method
Combine the mince, garlic, zest, egg, breadcrumbs, cumin, chilli, mint, parmesan and a good whack of salt and pepper in a large bowl, scrunching to combine but not overworking. Divide the patties into 8 rissoles using wet hands and pop on a lined plate, cover and chill for half an hour.

When the patties have set, heat a lug of oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook the rissoles in batches of four for 5 minutes each side. Or until golden and cooked through. Then devour.


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Couscousisi Superstalad

Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race 12 queens arrived in the Werk Room, ready to join what I would argue is a pretty iconic winner’s circle. And while we lost the Canadian versions of Trixie and Katya way too soon – as is tradition – it was a hard fought battle before Giselle snatched the crown, joining Icesis and what’s her name? Priyanka, in the winner’s circle. And Ra’Jah, technically. That was then and this is now, as Brooke and Co. are back and are packing a new twist. Which we will learn about later, as first we have a ball. But again, getting ahead of myself here, as we’ve got queens to meet.

First to enter Season 4 is the world’s oldest twink Venus and well, her entry look is kinda horrid, think slutty ice skater in velvet. And then, for reasons, she was forced to exit. Denim was next, serving denim anime goddess and I love everything about her. She too then exited before Kiki Coe arrived serving fashion dragon and fun fact, has made some of the best runways to appear on the show. After she bounced, Luna DuBois arrived giving first-season Lala Ri by way of Mayhem Miller, and I love it. Sisi Superstar arrived giving goth Barabarella, Melinda Verga served pride flag drunk aunt, Kitten Kaboodle arrived to rep as the oldest queen in the franchise and well, I stan, as she seems fun. Nearah Nuff served filler icon, in a Marilyn inspired look that literally fell apart, Aurora Matrix served terracotta warrior-Naomi Smalls realness and ugh, crown her now, I already stan. Then The Girlfriend Experience arrived serving stripper anime and well, I stan her too. Aimee Yonce Shannel dropped by giving red latex showgirl chic and yeah, it was a serve, TBH. 

Everyone was then corralled back into the Werk Room at once, for reasons. As they sized each other up or giddily pretended they didn’t tell their besties they were on the season. We then learnt that there was only space in alcoves for three queens, instantly forming cliques with the pretty girls and designers instantly finding their friends. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled to see she wasn’t the only queen of asian descent, I assume because she can’t be a first boot like it seems to be the tradition on the mothership, but I digress.

Speaking of Ru, she dialled in to announce the arrival of Brooke who welcomed her newest daughters into the fold. With the help of Brad and Traci. They then warned the queens that there will be twists and turns all season long. The first being that they would be starring in a ball. And the first category is already done, with the entrance looks judged and delivered. Brooke, Brad and Traci all gave a rosebud to their fave looks so far with Brooke snatching Denim, Aimee beloved by Brad and Traci, for reasons, living for Venus. They then shared that the next category was Shimmering Showgirls, while they would stomp the runway in Me Myself and I, aka best drag. 

After the judges left, the rosebuddies celebrated being frontrunners for the win. Though Melinda rightly called out Venus for getting one, given her look was so basic. Thankfully they didn’t fight for long, focusing on prepping for the second category. Sisi and Denim were vibing before Kitten gagged the dolls with her age and the fact she has been doing drag for longer than most of the dolls have been alive. 

Aurora kicked off the second category giving geisha showgirl in all the right ways. Luna slayed given slutty Marilyn burlesque, Denim gave harlequin clown, Kitten gave polished puffy showgirl, Kiki leant into classic showgirl and lived her best life while Nearah was an orange delight. Melinda gave us a golden bodysuit, Aimee was stunning in a carnival hot pink bodysuit before Venus gave us something different in emerald green as she stripped. Sisi gave a sexy devil, as she hit her head on a lamp and fell off the couch. The Girlfriend Experience meanwhile was perfection as the Ringmaster before getting fully nude.

Backstage they finally got to dedrag with Aurora and Venus living their twink fantasy, while Kitten was hopeful she would be the mama of the group. Denim tried to make things shady, asking who the dolls think will be in the bottom tomorrow with Sisi and Nearah both admitting they were worried. The latter talking about being concerned their inner saboteur is already hard at work. While Venus and her rosebud were thrilled to slay.

Elimination Day arrived with Tegan and Sara just wandering on to set to welcome the dolls and announce themselves as guest judges and fun fact, they are sisters, not dating. That is Tatu, if anyone else forgot. Oh and Tegan and Sara’s mum is proud of them for guest judging which is cute AF, so maybe I stan. With that gag out of the way, the dolls split up to beat their mugs, with Nearah galvanized to redeem herself with the third runway. Talk turned to their pronouns before they turned their attentions to how politicized drag has become. The Girlfriend Experience opened up about being shamed by Marjorie Taylor Greene, famed thundercunt, leading to death threats and her having to close down her social media to keep herself safe. She and Denim then spoke beautifully about what they’ve gone through as trans people.

Brooke, Brad, Traci, Tegan and Sara took their places on the judges panel as Venus opened the Me Myself and I runway looking perfect as a feathered Carmen Sandieg-ho. Sisi gave Y2K goth chic, Kiki was perfect in pearls as a goddess. Lula gave Mugler CEO, Aurora was a stunning teal dragon, Nearah gave neon rocker Cyndi Lauper and Kitten was a stunning old dame. Aimee was an african queen in blue and orange, while The Girlfriend Experience looked gorgeous in beige ruffles. Melinda gave golden glam right out of Studio 54 while Denim was an udderly ridiculous clown cow.

Aurora, Aimee, Luna, Kitten and TGE were deemed safe and shipped backstage to untuck before Venus received universal praise for each and every look. And most importantly for giving diversity, polish and turning a damn show every time she hit the floor. Despite her entry look being so basic, to me. Sisi was praised for looking good not great, though read for being awkward, given they couldn’t tell if she was deliberately trying to bomb the performance in look two. Kiki was beloved for giving three stunning looks, gagging the judges with the fact she makes all her looks. Though Traci wanted her to give some life in her mug. Nearah was read for not being able to work through the fuck-ups in the first two looks, thought they loved the third look for being so damn fun. Though Brad was worried she could only sell corset. Melinda was all energy as the judges read her for not being able to sell any of her concepts, while Denim received 10s across the board.

The tops and bottoms joined the safe girls, with Venus proudly telling them she was completely beloved by the judges. Picking up that not everyone was so happy for her. Denim too was proud to receive top marks, while Kitten just assumed Kiki was a top. Sisi tried to pretend she was beloved, delighting her sisters with the fact she was having fun despite being in the bottom. Denim thanked her for being such a light in their community, no doubt assuming she would be going home. Nearah accepted she didn’t do her best, so agreed with their critiques, while Melinda was sure it would be her lip syncing with Sisi. Venus asked her to explain to the dolls why she has been struggling thus far, with Melinda sharing that her partner had a mini stroke just before she left and watching everyone rally around her was just beautiful, TBH.

Ultimately Kiki was sent to safety, followed by Nearah before Brooke announced the next gag, explaining nobody would be going home tonight and instead, the top two would be lip syncing for the win. That obviously meant Melinda and Sisi were safe, leaving Denim and Venus to battle to Feel it in My Bones by Tiësto feat. Tegan and Sara. And while the song is an absolute bop – remember, I’m a Tegan and Sara stan now, ok? – the lip sync was kinda one sided as Venus is a damn star. Denim was cute, fun and absolutely in her lane, but Venus had that fire that you just couldn’t look away from. And as such, she rightly took out the first win of the season. And I will stop bitching about the entry look.

Backstage the dolls were gagged, gooped and absolutely delighted that nobody went home, while Venus was just delighted to have been able to win the lip sync in front of Tegan and Sara themselves. Sisi and Melinda were thrilled to be safe, with Sisi now ready to redeem herself. While The Girlfriend Experience just wanted them all to lift up the seat when going to the bathroom, as she was sick of sitting on piss.

The next day Melinda appeared to be perked up after her near exit, while Venus was just proud to have done the thing. Angela Basset style. Everyone laughed about how they kinda wanted everyone to go home, while Kitten, bless, was just looking forward to improving incrementally because she is old and wise. So, mother. Brooke dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, the doll’s would host QVShe episodes, selling the best and brightest products Brooke kindly provided. Shades, ponchos, ugly flats and pocket bras. And given Brooke is messy, she let them pick their groups with TGE, Aurora and Venus forming one, Nearah, Luna and Aimee another, and Sisi, Kiki and Denim the last trio, leaving Kitten and Melinda to be the only duo. Venus then stole the bra for her group, Nearah went with the poncho, Kitten got the flats and Sisi grabbed the sunnies.

Everyone split up to work through their presentations, with Denim spiralling about having a comedy challenge in week two. Nearah and Luna were worried about Aimee having English as a second language and how they could help her shine. Melinda meanwhile was cut the dolls didn’t want them. Oh and TGE was doing the old man voice from Family Guy and just like that, the dolls had a plan. Sisi meanwhile was swinging for the fences, coming up with lots of camp ideas to stand out and work her way up, while Denim worried she was fading. Kitten and Melinda meanwhile were completely zen, being silly and planning to have fun and yes and their way through, making everyone else a little nervous. Nearah meanwhile was hating her partners, while Aimee worried they kept patronising her when she wants to be taken seriously and is this just going to be a mess?

After quickly beating their mugs the dolls went to set where Denim, Sisi and Kiki got to work selling the shit out of the shade blocker goggles. And by selling the shit out of it, they bombed within 30s and yeah, it was hard to watch. Sisi in particular, despite the fact she was cracking herself up. Melinda and Kitten were the polar opposite, giving cohesion, polish and nailing the assignment. Making all the dolls laugh and wish they didn’t assume the oldies would bomb. Venus, Aurora and The Girlfriend Experience kept things good as Venus and Aorora nailed their southern girl schtick, until The Girlfriend Experience just stopped after coming out of the gate strong. As she kept breaking and left the others to carry her. Nearah, Luna and Aimee then closed the show, bombing, try as Nearah and Aimee might.

Elimination Day arrived with Denim putting all her hopes on her runway saving her, while Kitten and Melinda were thrilled to prove themselves and singlehandedly carry the challenge. While Denim and Co hilariously owned bombing, Nearah, Luna and Aimee bickered over who was the reason for their predicament. After splitting up to beat their mugs, The Girlfriend Experience asked Kitten about the first time she saw drag, leading to a beautiful history lesson. Talk turned to terminology, with Denim and The Girlfriend Experience helping everyone make sure they aren’t offending anyone and ugh, it was sweet. Venus meanwhile asked if anyone was across the Canadian queer history with them admitting they kinda have no clue, accept for Aimee who had to learn to pass her citizenship and of course. Because if we learnt anything from Hamilton, it is that only immigrants get the job done.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by the current pucking reigning, Ra’Jah D O’Hara on the panel and ugh, I love her so. On the Gemstones runway, Sisi Superstar gave purple people eater come queen cosplayer. Kiki was a gloriously emerald glamazonian, Denim served iridescent bluebottle, while Kitten gave warrior queen and looked good and Melinda gave ice queen realness. Venus was a slay in a diamond encrusted bodysuit, complete with diamond headpiece. The Girlfriend Experience was a gloriously pearled ethereal beauty, Aurora was a stunning jade goddess, Luna gave slutty Tigger, Nearah gave rhinestone cowgirl who became the CEO, in red before Aimee closed the show in a shimmering sapphire gown which I can’t tell whether is good or an absolute mess.

Sisi, Kitten, Melinda, Venus, TGE and Luna were deeed the tops and bottoms of the week, though Brooke warned the safe girls some got lucky there could only be three bottoms. Sisi was praised for improving her look, though still read for being a mess. And that was before they got to the challenge, given the judges hated literally everything she did. Kitten was absolutely beloved – as she deserves – for the challenge while everyone also lived for the look. Melinda too received top marks for both portions, though Ra’Jah cautioned her to have fun on the runway. Venus’ runway was the best of the week, though the judges equally loved the character she brought to the challenge. TGE’s runway was glorious, though the judges wished she gave more presentation. While her performance in the challenge gave the judges blue balls. While Luna was read for filth for the challenge, though her runway was deemed fun.

Kitten was then announced the winner of this week’s challenge and told that as the winner, she would hold the power of the Golden Beaver which saves one of the bottoms from lip syncing. With that, they ventured backstage to untuck and loop in the other queens and let’s just say, they were gagged and ready to make lots of new friends. TGE started to breakdown about being in the bottom, leading to Venus giving her a huge peptalk. Luna meanwhile was zen about it, while Sisi admitted she was gutted to be in the bottom yet again and how triggering it was for her. Kitten then asked the dolls to pitch why they should be beavered, with TGE begging through tears. Luna was poised as she calmly spoke about needing to be here while Sisi said it was fair for her to be in the bottom and as such, shouldn’t be saved.

They returned to the mainstage were Kitten got her beaver out and promptly saved TGE, leaving Luna and Sisi to battle for the last spot. As Avril’s I’m With You kicked off both dolls leant into the emotion of the song and ugh, this is taking me back to High School. Sisi slayed the lip sync while Luna was kinda subdued, which it seems like the judges wanted, as she was saved, leaving Sisi to become the Juice Boxx of the season. While Sisi was gutted to go home so soon, I quickly pulled her in for a hug and assured her that her two episode run, specifically falling off the couch, is iconic. So taking that and the fact she is the first boot, she will always be beloved. And that was all it took to cheer her up, as we toasted an epic career with a fresh Couscousisi Superstalad.

This little number is gloriously herby and oh so sweet, swiftly putting an end to the no-friends-with-salad discourse. Though given (pearl) couscous is involved, is it really a shock?

Enjoy!

Couscousisi Superstalad
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 ½ cups pearl couscous
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup olive oil
1 tsp Dijon mustard
½ tsp honey
1 lemon, zested and juiced
¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped
2 tbsp mint, roughly chopped
2 tbsp dill, roughly chopped
½ cup cherry tomatoes, quartered
½ cup chargrilled capsicum, roughly chopped

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil and once rolicking, add the couscous and cook for 10 minutes, or until tender. Drain and leave to cool slightly.

While that is on the go, combine the oil, mustard, honey, zest and juice with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Transfer the couscous to a bowl, toss through the dressing, herbs, tomatoes and chargrilled capsicum and devour. Like an icon.


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Christmas Burgera Melle

Burgers, Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls, finally, played the Snatch Game. And while the UK always delivers a better than average game, there is always quite a range in the performances. For every Ginger, for instance, there is a Sugar’s Miley. As hinted at Ginger slayed, yet again, delivering a masterclass on her way to securing her third win in a row. Kate meanwhile broke through and dominated. While Tomara Tomaraed, and obviously had Ru cackling as Cara surprised with a fun turn. At the other end of the pack, Vicki was one note and in her head while DeDe was just there. Sadly for Vicki, when it came to the lip sync, DeDe was more than just there, turning a show and slaying the game, sending Vicki back to Cornish. Presumably to have a pasty.

Backstage DeDe was gagged to have sent another badge holder home, before everyone was gagged to discover said badge holder had left a shady, shady mirror message. Michael then suggested that maybe DeDe was busy taking souls and growing in power, while Ginger just wished she brought the fire and comedy in the challenges instead and was able to realise her powers. Kate meanwhile was primed and ready for a win, given she is now in the top three and just needs to take another step. Oh and as they split up to de-drag, DeDe pointed out that Vicki probs doesn’t like Cara for being loud. Which is iconic of DeDe.

The top six returned the next day with everyone very jealous to see Ginger pulling away with a third badge on her chest, while Michael reminded us that the race is a marathon and she is still backing herself. Cara opened up about feuding with her inner saboteur before Kate tried to bring things back to memorialising Vicki, though all Michael cared about was getting her next badge.

Ru dropped by for a little mini challenge with puppets, because why? Everybody loves puppets, that’s why! First up to the gloryhole was Cara who pulled out Ginger, Michael grabbed Cara, Tomara jagged Michael, Kate got DeDe and DeDe got Tomara leaving Ginger to roast Kate. After they dragged up their felted friends, the dolls’ got to work reading with Cara so very, very bad it was iconic. Michael thankfully read Cara for filth and had a ball, Tomara gave manic energy and at least had herself giggling, while Kate too, was a bomb. Though at least she pissed off DeDe. DeDe in turn was having a ball as she bombed before Ginger, thankfully, made Michael feel less alone by reading Kate the house down boots. And ugh, crown her now, she is perfection.

Rightfully Ginger took out yet another victory, before Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge, the girls would be paired up and starring in screen tests Footballers Wags, Holedark or Femmerdale. All where two women vie for the attention of a hunk. And for winning the mini, Ginger was in charge of the pairings, jagging Kate for herself and cursing Michael with Cara and leaving DeDe and Tomara to have fun. And you know that was strategic and again, crown Ginger, she is a damn icon.

After Ru departed the dolls sat down to read through the scripts and fight over the shows. Cara was desperate to play one of the WAGs, which is coincidentally the one Kate and Ginger wanted. Though given Cara stepped aside from her dream role in the rusical, Ginger kindly stepped aside and took Holedark for her duo. So, I guess Kate and Ginger are winning and Cara is gone, right? Tomara meanwhile was nervous about being paired with DeDe, given she is becoming a power bottom. Cara and Michael on the other hand were vibing, and maybe I have read this all wrong. The one thing I know is that Tomara and DeDe are safe, because Ru will love them being unable to do the accents.

Michael and Cara were first up to film with Michelle and Zaddy Jacob from the Pit Crew, and while Cara was full Cara, Michael was a charming, wild cougar. Particularly since she did her own sound effects. The dolls from Holedark slayed from start to finish, chewing up the scenery, the Pit Crew and the set, TBH. Tomara and DeDe, however, were wild, unhinged and so much bloody fun, whether they could nail an accent or not. Or remember any damn lines at all. 

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls thriving and vibing, as they split up to beat their mugs for the runway. Ginger opened up about somehow swallowing a trio of sewing needles once, leading to a bunch of injuries. This got the girls opening up, with Cara talking about cracking her skull, and Michael busted her knee and hole.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by the one and only Joel Dommett – he is hot and hosts Survivor, so I will stan – as Michael opened up the Pajamarama Runway looking an absolutely stunning, fucked-up mess, Cara meanwhile was a sexy, sleeping beauty and Kate Butch gave black and white glamazonian. Who died on the runway, looking beautiful in the process. I mean, she was flawless. Ginger gave Dolly Parton playgirl for John Waters, DeDe gave full plushie before Tomara closed the show doing the sluttier, Barbarella version of DeDe’s look.

When it came to the scenes Cara and Michael were a solid, salacious duo, though TBH, the scene was just boring. Michael received wall to wall praise for the scene and the runway, while Cara was read for being at 100 the entire time, despite doing really well. And showing diversity on the runway. Kate and Ginger’s scene was absolute perfection as the duo squeezed every laugh out of all the moments. Kate was completely beloved for everything she gave in the scene and for turning it out on the runway. Even giving a glorious mug. Ginger too got top marks for everything she did, begging the question, is she about to get her fourth badge in a damn row? DeDe and Tomara’s scene was surprisingly hilarious, given they were stupid and silly in every moment. DeDe was read for being on the struggle bus during the shoot, but her runway was deemed cute. Tomara on the other hand was beloved for being wild, and they were delighted by the runway.

Before Ru ominously praised the dolls for all doing well, making it a difficult choice ahead.

Backstage the dolls quickly grabbed their drinks and toasted each other for having the best time and turning it out. Tomara meanwhile was proud of herself and ready to silence her self-doubt, while Kate was very hopeful about taking out her first win of the season. And just as hopeful she wouldn’t have to share with Ginger. Michael meanwhile was a little confused, thrilled to receive praise though feeling like she will still be in the bottom. While Cara was just outright nervous, given how the rest of the dolls’ critiques went.

Ginger was sent to safety before Kate, rightly, jagged her first badge of the season. Ru then announced that it was a difficult decision to figure out the bottom two, though sadly it was Michael and Cara, as DeDe and Tomara were sent to safety. Despite being gutted, the dolls slayed Touch Me (I Want Your Body) by the one and only Samantha Fox. And well, their looks were perfect for the song, both the dolls were fired up and in the pocket from start to finish. Despite both of them slaying, however, there have already been too many non-eliminations and as such, through tears, Michael was sent to safety before Cara was shown the door.

As Cara arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and reminded her to hold her head up high. I mean, it is always a little easier to be eliminated in an episode where everyone does well, particularly since it lends itself to being seen as a robbed goddess. And that was all she needed to hear to cheer her up. Though, honestly, how could you be annoyed while smashing a Christmas Burgera Melle.

Yeah, yeah, it is only November, but it is the festive season, damnit, and I will not hear it. I’ve been hearing it for months now! Plus, when a burger tastes this good, don’t complain and just be happy. Spiced, rich and warm, once you try it, you will never worry about getting festive too soon.

Enjoy!

Christmas Burgera Melle
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
250g turkey mince
½ tsp chilli
½ tsp ground sage
¼ tsp cinnamon
salt and pepper, to taste
200g brie, sliced
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 tsp cranberry sauce
2 milk buns
1 cup Nick Ciabatta Stuffing
1 cup Gabriel Mash
½ cup Howie Doriesling Gravy

Method
Combine the turkey mince, chilli, sage and cinnamon in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch to combine and form into two balls. Pop a skillet over medium heat and when hot, pop the patty in the pan and press with a spatula to flatten to about 1cm thick. Cook for a few minutes before flipping, topping with the brie and cooking for a further few minutes or until cooked through.

Combine the mayo and the cranberry sauce in a bowl.

To assemble, split the buns, smear the base with the cranberry mayo, add a dollop of mash, a lug of gravy, then the patty and brie followed by the stuffing. Then closing and devouring, like a festive icon.


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Chicken Caesean Saladwards

Poultry, Salad, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor King of the Boxer Brief, Zaddy Austin finally earned his vote back after looping in Dee and Julie about his Beware Advantage and the women promptly found the idol for him. At Belo, Katurah was over Bruce, capital O. V. A. H. Over at Lulu, Emily was mentored by Kaleb and slowly managed to form bonds with Sean and Sabiyah, and frankly started to slay. Despite winning the reward, Lulu couldn’t maintain the momentum as they went back to tribal council with Sabiyah looking to cut Kaleb as the biggest threat. Sadly for her, Emily looped him in and after Sabiyah sacrificed her vote to extend her idol – which she melted out of the wax live at tribal council – ended up voted out with said idol in her pocket.

Back at camp Sean pulled the others in for a hug, praising them for a blindside well played while Kaleb thanked Emily for keeping him in the loop and protecting him. As Sean grew more and more aware he is on the bottom, he simultaneously grew more and more shrill about how he just wished they included him in the blindside as he is thrilled to be out from under Sabiyah’s control. Sadly for him, both Kaleb and Emily realised he was performing to try and stay solid with them. The highlight being when he told Kaleb he never wanted to target him, with Emily laughing and pointing out it means he then wanted her out instead.

The next day the tribes came together with Probst where everyone was gagged to learn Sabiyah had been voted out. As they speculated about the drama of the previous tribal, Emily had a little chuckle about everyone living for the drama but pointing out it sucks to be the tribe that is split in half. As Brando questioned whether things may need a shuffle, Probst followed it up with the ultimate gag as he told everyone to drop their buffs as the tribes were switching up. New Reba was made up of Julie, Dee, Sifu, Jay and Sean, Kaleb was joined by Katurah, Bruce, Kellie and Jake on Lulu while Emily was an island at new Belo with Austin, Drew, Kendra and Brando.

Instead of a challenge, everyone was sent back to their new camps where Kaleb showed the OG Belos around the bland shelter. Bruce immediately started to break down in tears, realising Lulu was living on Tika’s beach and he started to relive the experience of being medically evacuated. He quickly rallied, assuring the tribe he just needed a moment, while poor Kaleb got to work saving himself from the bottom. Katurah asked him to tell everyone about Brandon’s journey and how he lost his vote, which obviously made Bruce realise how little Katurah trusts him. Jake pulled Kaleb aside to bond and see if there was anything there, assuring him that he would gladly vote anyone if it means they can go to the merge together and hopefully build some new alliances.

Over at new Belo everyone was excited to see Emily and get to know her away from delivering iconic sound bites at challenges. Kendra meanwhile was talking about their fishing hole and pulling together a fire, generally being an excellent hostess. As they sat down around the fire to get to know each other, Emily opened up about being on the outs of the tribe, telling everyone the entire dynamics and Sabiyah’s theatrical idol burning situation. As they got their bearings, Drew rightly focused his attention on wooing Emily so he and Austin could gain the upperhand within the tribe.

We finally checked in with new Reba where Sean gleefully started to spill the tea, talking about how he manifested the swap. Which J loved, feeling like she may have finally found someone she could truly align with. As they went off for a walk, Sifu, Julie and Dee speculated how much of a threat Sean could be, so got to work checking his bag for an idol. Sadly for them, he has an intricate way of securing his bag, so had to learn how to tie the same knots before they went through it, and learnt he was powerless. But damn, Dee and Julie are mother, no? J and Sean meanwhile were pledging their undying loyalty to each other, with J talking about how Sifu has always been on the outs of the tribe and as such, her plan would be to get rid of him at the next tribal council. J went back to the girls to let them know what she did, while Julie tried to caution her against getting rid of Sifu’s strength and sending them back to tribal again and again.

The next day things were still quite zen at Belo as Emily worried about whether she would be the swing vote or a safe consensus pick. Today she was bonding with Kendra while Austin and Drew went for a walk to decide where they could safely hide their collection of advantages. They desperately wanted to hang onto them for the merge though, so reiterated how badly they needed to get Emily. Which they promptly did, with her just grateful to have pulled an alliance together without having the looming pressure of tribal council over their head. And seeing her light up about being included and having some autonomy is just beautiful.

Back at Lulu Bruce was continuing to run at an 11. Kellie meanwhile was grateful to have played the middle at the beginning of the game thus far, given it has positioned her well for the swap. As Bruce assured her she was her number one, the duo got to work pulling in Kaleb. Sadly for them, Katurah watched it all and as soon as Kaleb was free, she pulled him aside to talk mad shit with Bruce and tried to pull him in to get rid of Bruce ASAP. And given she is calm and sensible, I think she just found herself a solid ally.

The tribes came together for the first immunity challenge as new tribes where they would have to swim to a cage and climb inside before carrying it into the shore. Then they would then have to dig themselves out to release a person to collect while the rest of the tribe would have to shoot baskets from within the cage, with the first two tribes to shoot all their basket jagging immunity. Lulu and Belo got out to an early lead, with Reba nipping at their heels. When they made it to the shore, Lulu started to pull ahead as Reba caught up with Belo as they struggled on the sand. Kaleb quickly landed two balls for Lulu before the other tribes finally joined him. Sadly it was too late as Kaleb landed his third and jagged himself immunity and flint for the first time. Austin meanwhile scored two points for Belo as Reba desperately tried to close the gap. Sadly for them, it was all for nothing as Austin landed the third one just ahead of Sifu, sending Reba to tribal council.

Sean for his fourth time in as many episodes, as Emily started to sob tears of joy for being safe.

We checked in with Lulu where Kaleb was rightly jubilant as Bruce tried to pretend he lost the flint which led to the first ever non-verbal confessional as Katurah rolled her eyes. Like a damn queen.

Back at Reba, Sean was heartbroken to still be on a losing tribe, questioning whether maybe he is the curse rather than Lulu. They caught up in the ocean where Dee made that exact joke, making Sean even more nervous than he should be. First he caught up with Sifu to talk about how close the girls are, assuring Sifu that if he wants to make a move and align with him, he will be loyal. J meanwhile was busy pointing out to Julie and Dee that it is safest to get rid of Sifu now, given if they go back to tribal council again, he could play an idol and instantly get one of the girls out. Whereas if they blindside him while Sean is still there, they could eliminate that threat. Julie was very against the idea, knowing they needed to keep strength at this point, unless they wanted to be decimated. Sadly, Dee and J were adamant and as such, they pulled Sean aside to loop him in on the plan and assured him that while they will continue to talk Reba strong at tribal, he is safe and to just hold firm.

Sadly for them, Sifu rightly grew nervous that Sean would be able to make things work with the women. While Sean just seemed dejected to be going to yet another tribal council.

Speaking of which, Reba arrived at tribal council where they spoke about how lucky they were to stay Reba strong post swap. Sean admitted he felt lucky after the swap, given he was on the outs after the last tribal council, while Julie got to work pretending the plan is to stay Reba strong. Sean spoke about how he is trying to stay and get to know everyone before J jumped in to talk about the importance of getting rid of the right people at the right time to win challenges. Sean spoke about how committed he is in challenges and how loyal he is which would be good post merge, sounding desperate to stay while Dee continued to pretend to be Reba strong and seemingly shut down his plan.

Sifu spoke about Sean’s positive energy and how much he has loved having him in the tribe, before Probst asked Sean what he has gotten from the game. Sean then gave a lovely speech about needing to learn from failure and that he loves and respects them. He admitted that growing up Mormon made him lose so much time and that playing Survivor allowed him to reclaim it, before breaking down and admitting that his adventure of a lifetime is being at home with his husband. And given how much they all want it, he would prefer they just all vote him out tonight. Jeff, obviously, didn’t love the idea of having yet another quit, as Sean admitting he is happy for them to be Reba strong and get rid of them. Probst pointed out he is simply engineering his own quit while the girls whispered to each other about granting his wish or gunning for Sifu.

With that the tribe voted and as per his request, they banded together to send Sean home. By way of Loser Lodge. Well, except for Dee who kept her vote against Sifu for shits, which seems like a bad decision. But that is a tale for another time. As Sean arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a hug and told him to hold his head up high. I mean, I don’t love a quit, but the fact he had such a bad run in his four episodes, I kinda get it. Which is why I served up a big Chicken Caesean Saladwards on his way to the airport.

I know conventional wisdom is that you don’t make friends with salad, but it really isn’t the case when done right. And there is no salad that does more right than this. Bacon, eggs and kilos and kilos of chicken breast? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Chicken Caesean Saladwards
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 chicken breasts
2 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste
1 recipe Palesar Taulad

Method
Heat the oil in a skill over medium-low heat. Season the chicken and cook the breast for about 5-8 minutes before flipping and cooking for another 10 minutes, or until cooked though. Remove from the skillet to rest for 5 minutes before roughly dicing.

Prepare the salad as per Palesar’s recipe before dividing the chicken over the salad and devouring, with love and glee.


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Alexis Saint-Peteloaf

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK, Ru, Michelle and Co. had themselves a true battle royale as both Cheddar Gorgeous and Danny Beard dominated the season. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Twelve of the brightest stars across the UK assembled to compete for the crown, where we had the joy of experiencing such iconic moments as Sminty’s sad twerk, the formation of wonder duo Black Peppa and White Salt, and had the joy of having JB in the house, ya’ll. But as I mentioned, it was Cheddar and Danny who emerged the star, with once again Ru opting for the funnier queen in Danny, leaving our cerebral cheese as the runner-up.

First to arrive for this season, however, is Tomara Thomas, serving chav Bond girl and TBH, I live for everything about her. She is hilarious, smutty and iconic. Instantly. Banksie finally arrived, serving naked, glam, hooker and you know they’re going to be fun. Oh and they are Cheddar’s doll? So, sign me up for my stan card. Next through the door was Miss Naomi Carter and she serves energy and silliness, and I live. Though maybe I am just like Ru, because her accent is stunning. Michael Marouli arrived serving the love child of Morgan McMichaels and The Viv, so I live for her. Though may hate, and then love her again later. Next to arrive was Kate Butch and between the name and her nerdy look out of drag, my basement flooded.

Cara Melle stomped in all the way from Atlanta, Georgia and I love her energy. And the fact she is flatmates with Tomara? Stunning. Ginger Johnson arrived fresh from the not-so-fresh blocking of the toilet, serving all the old ladies she was around growing up. And like many of the sisters, she is from the north, so is ready to vie to be Ru’s favorite for nothing but her accent. DeDeLicious was up next giving glam and when we found out she is Krystal’s sister, it is not exactly a surprise. Vicki Vivacious arrived serving, and I quote, Cornish Joan Collins and well, I love it as much as I love her pastie. Rounding out the cast is the iconique Alexis Saint-Pete, giving sex doll realness and ugh, she is going to be so much fun and I live for everything about her.

Ru dropped by to welcome her newest daughters to the race, thankfully by wheeling out the Brit Crew. And announcing that their first Maxi Challenge, would be a little ball. With the first category being what they are wearing now. The second category would be Club Tickety Boo, judged by international tastemakers. Aka sisters from across the globe. And they would only have an hour to get dressed. Pangina, Lady Camden, Nicky Doll, Silky, Blu, Sminty and Jimbo took their places alongside the judges as the new dolls arrived ready to stomp the Club Tickety Boo runway.

Tomara high kicked and split, giving warrior stripper and well, I love it all. Banksie gave trash realness and I love her, despite Sminty feeling like she didn’t use the runway. Silky lived for Naomi, Michael Marouli looked like a Vegas half-time show and you know she will let you have a sip of her wine, if you want. Kate Butch tapped her way into their hearts, Ginger looked like an aunty dressed like a lolly at the wedding while Cara Melle ate them all up. DeDe was silly and slayed … so hard, her wig came off. While Vicki was an icon, like the love child of Bianca Del Rio and the doll from Saw, according to Nicky. While Alexis gave sexy stripper, almost falling off the stage in the process. 

The dolls made their way backstage to dedrag with DeDe already spiralling over the fact she lost her wig, though trust, she was not going to be playing the victim and will hope her looks are enough to keep her safe. Cara and Banksie caught up, with the latter grateful to have no fuck ups, though admitted she was still worried she didn’t give enough. Cara opened up about trying to get on the show six times, though was grateful it is now when she had come out and live her truth as a trans woman.

Elimination Day arrived, with Ginger feeling the pressure of the competition, worried she didn’t do enough on day one, considering they have been judged from the moment they walked in. Michael and Vicki meanwhile were bonding over their friendship of 15 years, and hearing Michael talk about how hard she has worked and the adversity she has faced and how much getting here means to her was just, well, beautiful. DeDe meanwhile was terrified of landing in the bottom and going home first, though was confident she would be able to beat whoever lands in the bottom with her. Particularly Alexis, who she felt had the most stumbles other than her.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by the icon herself, Kristen McMeaneny, as the dolls opened the Fierce Impressions Eleganza Extravaganza runway. Michael Marouli was an iridescent delight in spiked pants and hips for days and well, it was good. Alexis meanwhile gave Polish queen, but make it slutty and well, it was just lovely. Ginger gave glam hippy on the way to the BBQ, DeDe gave baby Shannel coming out of a feathered vagina, Cara was stunning giving golden Aaliyah before Banksie stole the show in a hand painted graffiti gown, homemade in Manschester. While Vicky served slutty British Guard and was absolutely perfect. Kate rolled around stage in curtains, in a good way, while Naomi slayed serving Diana Ross and let’s just say, everything was perfect. While Tomara served sexy angel, despite the fact her wings opened unevenly.

DeDe, Banksie, Kate, Naomi and Tomara were sent to safety before the rest of the dolls were announced as the top queens of the week. Because trust and believe, nobody is going home tonight, instead, the top two will lip sync for the win. The judges lived for all that Michael Marouli served, specifically her energy. Alexis’ final look was beloved, despite the fact all of her looks were kinda the same. Ginger’ Club Tickety Boo moment was read, though given she slayed the final look and made everything she packed – bar one – I love it and so do the judges. Cara meanwhile received wall to wall praise for each and every moment this week. As did Vicki, who gave silly, charm and glamour and did it all perfectly. 

Backstage Kate is just thrilled to be safe, as was DeDe who was all but ready to lip sync. The dolls spoke about not being sure who the bottoms would be, assuming it must be Alexis, Vicki and Ginger. The tops arrived and played a bit shady, asking who they felt were in the bottom before gagging them with the fact no one would be going home. Talk turned to who would be lip syncing if there was a bottom, with everyone agreeing on DeDe and arbitrarily guessing Tomara for the wings. Alexis started to spiral about the fact everyone felt she would be in the bottom, which annoyed Ginger, who stepped in to point out how much the judges loved her. And well, I love it.

Ultimately Ginger was sent to safety as were Alexis and Michael, leaving Vicki and Cara to lip sync for the win. To Ooh Aah … Just a Little Bit by Gina G and well, given Cara was in a floor length gown, it was always going to give an unfair advantage to Vicki. Who stomped the floor and took out the first win of the season.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to have made it through the first week and move on as a complete set. Everyone congratulated Vicki on her win, except for Cara who was disappointed to have been pipped at the post. Everyone speculated what the next challenge could be, leading to some shade about Dee coming for Alexis. But none of that really matters, since nobody went home and well, now, the real games begin.

The next day the dolls lined up around the table to kiki about week one, as everyone adired Vicki’s badge. And promptly reminded her the only way to go now, is down. DeDe meanwhile apologised to Alexis for accidentally getting in her head, with Alexis kindly admitting she knew she wasn’t trying to hurt her but trust, she is confident again this week.

Ru dropped by to chat to her new daughters before wheeling out the Brit Crew for a wee mini challenge where they would have to play a game of shady, catty pass the parcel. Banksie was deemed funniest, Cara deemed the most likely to start a fight, Tomara named trade, DeDe was named sloppiest before Tomara took out victory. Of a chew toy, and the ability to choose one item to use in this week’s maxi challenge before the rest of the dolls. Speaking of the challenge, they would be pulling together a look using pet supplies. And it wasn’t just Tomara who could get a pre-selection, she got to take a friend, opting for DeDe. In the hope that she would help with sewing, should she run into issues.

After everyone looted the supplies, Tomara told DeDe she was expecting a hand, while DeDe was living in her confidence, given she made four of Krystal’s best gowns. Banksie meanwhile was inspired by Moschino, Michael was planning to sell iridescent glamour, Alexis was spiralling and Ginger was zen. Naomi too was rather confident, as was Cara – and then some – given she went to fashion school.

Ru made his return alongside THE Edward Enninful alongside the iconic Ru, his sweet Boston Terrier who was just napping on the table like an icon. Banksie shared she was planning to serve dancer, however Ru wanted her to give something fresh and new. Kate on the other hand was collaging animal furs. Banksie had moved her inspo to acid Chanel, Michael was planning to go Grace Jones with a big old train and DeDe was going sexy-dom. Ginger was going OTT with animal print, while Noami was distracted by doo rag and oranges. Tomara meanwhile was worried about her lack of skills, while Cara was throwing down her skills, though we know that runs the risk of setting the judges expectations sky high.

Oh and then Ru set her and Tomara bickering as Tomara tried to explain that she selected DeDe as she can sew, despite the fact Cara is right there.

After the trio departed, Alexis opted to change her plans and make a gown while Vicki was essentially ready to stomp the runway as she powered ahead. Cara meanwhile was well and truly in her feels, heartbroken about the fact Tomara said she had never seen anything she has sewed over the years . And then things got super heated, which made everyone both awkward and want to grab some popcorn.

Elimination Day arrived with the energy a mix of anxiety and chaos as they tried to put some finishing touches on her look. Alexis turned her attention to storytelling, ready to charm and distract her way to a victory. Michael was going Disgrace Jones, while Vicki was going OTT Barbie though was really fighting for congeniality, as she assured Banksie and Michael she’d be happy for them to win. Naomi and Cara were busy spiralling as time started to hurt their finished products. Ginger meanwhile was hopeful to avoid the bottom, while DeDe was confident she would be getting redemption as Tomara was ready to sell her bag of shit. 

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by Yasmin Finney as Kate Butch opened the runway, serving slutty cat lady in all the right ways. Banksie rocked handkerchiefs in the most stunning gown possible, Cara was solid, despite not being fully feathered before Ginger gave old Jem on the way home from the races, Bankies was caught in a net and oh so camp while Naomi’s outfit was just a net but damn she is charming and TBH, sometimes, that is enough. DeDe served rich old lady out walking the dog, Tomara gave glamour showgirl, Michael served full psychic diva while Vicki’s Malibu Barbie look was absolutely stunning.

Kate, Ginger, Michael and Vicki were sent to safety before Banksie was praised for a stunning concept and even better execution. The top of Cara’s dress was beloved, though not finishing the bottom was a fail. Alexis’ performance was beloved though the execution of the dress was deemed a mess. Speaking of messes, Naomi’s dress was read as fugly, though given she also hates it, it doesn’t really matter. DeDe received wall to wall praise, earning her rudemption, before Tomara got all the love for turning such a glorious outfit. Thought Michelle would like her to cover her arse just once on the runway.

Backstage the dolls admitted they felt they all could have been in the top. Before the disappointment could kick in, the tops and bottoms joined them, and shared Dede, Tomara and Banksie are in the top. With DeDe vibrating at the possibility of winning, though shared she thinks it would ultimately go to Banksie. Who said the same about DeDe. Alexis and Naomi meanwhile were disappointed to be clearly lip syncing, though Naomi had to admit she deserved it. And honestly sold it. While Cara broke down over letting herself down.

Ultimately Tomara and DeDe were deemed safe as Banksie took out her first victory before Noami was sent to direct to the bottom two alongside Alexis. As Cara joined the safe girls at the back of the stage. As Hot in It by Tiësto and Charli XCX kicked off, it was clear that neither doll wanted to become the Gothy Kendoll of the season, however Naomi went from strength to strength as she charmed the judges. Poor Alexis tried to take off her shoes – and failed – and strip down. Sadly though, it wasn’t enough as Naomi lived to see another day and sweet Alexis was sent packing.

As Alexis arrived backstage, I pulled her in for an epic hug and reminded her that if you can’t be first, it is better to be the worst (placing queen) as you will always be memorable. And given how much of an icon she is, she also gets the benefit of being viewed as a robbed goddess. Which does wonders for one’s career. After that epic peptalk, we kikied about the good old days – I spent my 20s in Poland, as I was on the prowl for pole and got confused – before toasting her ongoing success with a warming Alexis Saint-Peteloaf.

This Swedish meatball inspired loaf is melt in the mouth majesty. Delicately flavoured with a nice whack of herb, it is the perfect Sunday dinner to warm the soul, fight off Sunday scaries and dull the pain of becoming first boot. That is its power.

Enjoy!

Alexis Saint-Peteloaf
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup breadcrumbs
½ cup milk
10 rashers streaky bacon
500g pork mince
500g beef mince
25g cold butter, grated
1 onion, diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp parsley, roughly chopped
2 tbsp dill, roughly chopped
½ tsp ground nutmeg
¼ tsp ground allspice
2 eggs
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat the oven to 180C.

Combine the breadcrumbs and milk in a large bowl and leave for a minute or so, or until the milk has all been absorbed. Roughly chop two of the bacon rashers and add to the bowl along with the minces, grated butter, onion, garlic, parsley, dill, nutmeg, allspice, egg and a good whack of salt and pepper. Gently scrunch together with your hand until just combined.

Line a baking sheet and transfer the mixture to the centre, forming into a large loaf. Lay the remaining bacon over the top, tucking in on either side to secure. Transfer to the oven and bake for 90 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest before serving with some piping hot mash, and devouring.


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Chickandon Cordonlon Bleu Balls

Main, Party Food, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor we welcomed 18 new castaways to the still glorious islands of Fiji. Well 17 and Bruce, given his first-minutes-of-44-concussion pulled him from that game and since Jeff Probst is a kind and merciful zaddy, he was brought back with another batch of newbies. While he denied having any sort of advantage, this season’s queen Emily called out him on it, pointing that while he didn’t get to play, going through the preparation and knowing players surely set him in good stead. Meanwhile Zaddy Austin found the beware advantage at Reba, which yes, is a tribe name. At tribal council Emily moved on to calling out Kaleb and Sabiyah for being a tight duo in an effort to save herself. That proved unnecessary, however, as Hannah, who was going through it with nicotine withdrawal opted to up and quit instead, allowing our icon to live another day.

Back at camp the tribe reflected on Hannah opting to bounce, with Sean kinda getting it, given they straight up have nothing and are miserable. Emily meanwhile was turning over a new leaf, apologising to Sabiyah and Kaleb for calling out their alliance. She explained she didn’t mean to come from an angry place, while Sabiyah calmly explained that while it wasn’t her intent, it did upset her and as such, Emily’s abruptness led to her isolation. Emily, to her credit, tried to figure out a way to apologise, however Sabiyah wasn’t vibing and instead took herself to the shore for some alone time to breathe.

AND THEN THE THEME SONG FINALLY RETURNED.

After the glorious opening theme finished, we checked in with Reba the next morning where Sifu was rocking some tai chi and living his best life. Which is kinda the polar opposite of how Lulu was feeling. He then jumped around being wild, cutting and punching trees and well, if there is a medevac this season, let’s pencil it in for Sifu. J Maya meanwhile was busy trying to crack the code on the tribe flag and while she openly tried to figure it out, Austin bided his time for everyone to leave so he could whip out his advantage. Which told him to look for an X on a fallen palm tree.

Things were just as good over at Belo as they made fire and lived their best lives. Bruce in particular, who was making a tonne of noise and exuding energy. Sadly for him, only Jake was loving his fun uncle act while the rest of the tribe were growing annoyed by it. And would probably prefer he just admit to being the leader he wants to be. 

We went back to Lulu where Emily was focused on hunting for an idol or clue, desperate to find some form of protection, given she had burnt all the bridges. That spurred the rest of the tribe into action, searching high and low to find the idol instead of her. Sabiyah caught up with Emily to let her know everyone was hunting if they wanted to do it together, which Emily called bullshit on, admitting she knows it just means they don’t want her to find it. As everyone hunted, Brandon was ultimately the one that found the Beware Advantage and immediately passed it over to Sabiyah to open. Methodically, she worked through the clues which directed her to the top of a tree. Sadly, though, the idol was at the very tippity top of said tree, so it remained hidden.

Back at Reba we learnt that Dee has an especially long big toe and for some reason it is now a killer plot point. Julie and Dee caught up by the beach and formed a tight bond. Though being the oldest on the tribe, Julie leant into her mama role and tried to parent her way into an alliance with her. Which she quickly did, with Drew and Austin in tow. Oh and Drew is still convinced he is going to be a dominant power player and ugh, it is funny. Because no.

Over at Lulu, Emily was making in-roads with Kaleb who encouraged her to spend less time focusing on strategy as it is making everyone nervous. He calmly explained to us that he knows it is important to always be open to people in the game, even if you’re not working together, and just like that, she got a second wind. She once again apologised to Sabiyah who returned serve and admitted they were both in the wrong, followed by praising Brandon for his lush hair and assuring Sean she would temper her anxiety. She then had a powerful confessional about how she is learning to overcome her core anxieties and fears and ugh, I love a redemption arc.

The tribes received a note inviting someone to jump on a boat to Journey Island with Drew, Brandon and Bruce heading off, much to Katurah’s absolute irritation. The trio caught everyone up on where things stood at each tribe. Well, now Bruce as he was cagey, while Brandon overshared and Drew wisely offered up minimal information but enough to look like he was deliberately being cagey. The boys split up to find their shot at an advantage, the key being they had to solve a puzzle in three minutes. If they win, they jag the advantage but if they lost, they can’t vote at the next tribal council. Bruce immediately opted out, Brandon was all in while Drew smartly thought through all the risks and TBH, maybe I’ve been too tough on him. Sadly for Brandon he failed, while Drew snatched the advantage and well, I guess I’m now a fan.

Oh and Drew’s advantage is Safety Without Player, which only lasts until Final Ten.

Brandon returned to camp and filled them in on how badly he did during the challenge, with Sean wondering if Brandon has anything to offer the tribe at all, given he hasn’t exactly performed yet. Meanwhile Reba hid from Drew to surprise him before he too opted to give out the full truth and again, I think that is a wise move given it doesn’t really last long. More importantly, it won over Austin who pulled him aside to let him know about his Beware Advantage and I live for this modern JT and Stephen. Meanwhile over at Belo, Brando and the girls rocked their buffs as tops and I love that for him and look forward to him making it to the end with the girls. Sadly Jake and Bruce were aware of the growing alliance and immediately planned to form a counter. Bruce then went person to person trying to get intel. And somehow Brando and Kellie are now the swing votes.

We finally caught a glimpse of Jeffrey as the tribes lined up for the latest immunity challenge where they would climb up a tower and jump off to collect a key, swim to and walk across a balance beam, release puzzle pieces and solve said puzzle. Which has been updated, due to Carson. Oh and the first place tribe would also get a massive fishing kit while second would earn a few bits of gear while the losers get nothing. And the sit out rule has changed and no one can sit out back to back challenges at all, meaning Claire is also living rent free in Jeff’s mind. Emily got Lulu out to an early lead at the balance beam before everyone caught up on the swim. Reba started to pull ahead with Lulu nipping at their heels before Kendra smashed her koochie on the balance beam and fuck, that looked painful. Everyone, obviously, caught up at the puzzle as Brando and Kellie powered through and closed the gap for Belo as Reba jagged immunity just ahead of them, sending Lulu back to tribal council. Thanks to Brandon bombing yet another challenge.

Back at camp Brandon quickly apologised to the tribe for costing them immunity, though assured them he wants to stay. Emily pointed out that it is clearly between them tonight and as such, it is up to the other three to figure it out and left them to come up with a decision. As they tried to jag the idol so Sabiyah could hold on to her vote. Which they finally finally got. Except it is tragically encased in wax, meaning she can’t melt it free and now she needs to win a challenge and get flint before she can get it.

Sabiyah filled Brandon in on what was going on, who praised himself as a social icon and as such, wasn’t too concerned to be heading to tribal with only three votes. Emily meanwhile handed over her Shot in the Dark to Sabiyah to try and form a bond with her and build trust, knowing Emily won’t being trying anything which could risk her. Sadly Sabiyah still wanted to cut her throat before Emily got a chance to turn on her, while the boys tried to remind her that given they will never win with Brandon on the tribe, it makes sense to get rid of him and at least give them a shot.

At tribal council Sabiyah spoke about the feeling of blue balls after Hannah opted out of the game. Brandon admitted he knew it was between him and Emily last time, and that it is still the case tonight. Sean spoke about the fact the duo let them go off to the side to figure things out before Brandon opened up about how he has never been part of a team, though knows he bombed. Talk turned to Emily turning around and making an effort to work better with the tribe. Brandon spoke about the fact he thinks he has just been unlucky and thinks he can be an asset in the next challenge, which Probst called bullshit on, pointing out that he should pitch himself as a waterboy instead. Emily meanwhile spoke about the trauma of watching herself on TV when she gets home, before Brandon opened up about desperately loving Survivor since childhood and how he just hopes that if it comes to an end, he was able to get what he needed out of it.

The tribe then voted and tragically for Brandon, the tribe opted to at least try to jag victory in a challenge and banded to send him home. Allowing Queen Emily to see another day. While I was thrilled by that part of the outcome, I kept my mouth shut as he arrived at Loser Lodge and pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him that his trajectory is 100% how I would do in the game. Plus, in just two episodes Brandon served all the content and as such, he is definitely memorable enough for the inevitable early boots season. Which was enough to earn him a toast in the form of some Chickandon Cordonlon Bleu Balls.

There is really nothing better than a cordon bleu – cheese, ham and crunchy chicken, werk – until you put it in ball form. More crunch, more gooiness and more mobile, making it a win for everyone.

Enjoy!

Chickandon Cordonlon Bleu Balls
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
2 cups panko breadcrumbs
kosher salt & pepper, to taste
50g mozzarella, grated
50g parmesan, grated
50g ham, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp fresh parsley, roughly chopped
½ cup plain flour
1 egg, whisked
olive oil spray

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Combine the mince and a cup of breadcrumbs with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch until it comes together. Divide the mixture into tablespoon sized balls. Meanwhile stir together the cheeses, ham, garlic and parsley in another bowl.

Working ball by ball, make a little indent and fill with the ham and cheese mixture before folding the chicken around to enclose and form a ball.

Pop the flour in a bowl, the whisked egg in another and the breadcrumbs in the last. Coat the balls in flour, followed by the egg and finally the breadcrumbs, and pop on a lined baking sheet. Repeat the process until done.

Give the balls a spray with the olive oil and pop them in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown. Before serving and devouring.


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Breakfast Hamburger Helpa Love

Breakfast, Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls lined up to write another little verse as they competed in the Girl Groups challenge. This time inspired by our Nicole’s hit movie, BMX Bandits. Even more unhinged than the last two seasons, the song BMX Bitches was a glorious ‘80s inspired bop. Team Challenge Winners (minus Ashley) were mostly feeling confident, while Team Ashley and The Rest were a bit of a mess. Bumpa struggled with choreo and Ashley was in her head, while poor Flor desperately tried to hold it together. Hollywould meanwhile was the Beyonce of the other better group, and took out her second win of the season. Flor was obviously deemed safe leaving Bumpa to battle against Ashley and send her home to join the win-to-elim club.

Backstage Hollywould was surprised by how much she was missing Ashley already, while Bumpa was stressed about the fact the judges don’t think she is confident. Isis meanwhile was focused on the fact that Ashley joined the win to elim club and as such, worried that it meant anyone could go home. Specifically, I assume, her. Hollywould turned their attention to the positive, thrilled to be the first one to collect two wins, while Flor just wanted to get one and Gabriella was worried about going from strength to strength to jag another win.

The next day the dolls were thrilled when they realised they had officially made the top five, before talk turned to who hasn’t lip synced yet. With SNS thrilled to have not had that bother as Gabriella and Isis just wanted to keep avoiding landing in the bottom. Which means one of them is literally lip syncing tonight, no? Right on cue, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be hosting a Drag Brunch Talent Show and as the winner of the last challenge, Hollywould would have the honour of selecting the running order.

After Ru departed, the dolls split up to kiki, with Hollywould confident in her opera skillz, Gabriella her pro-hula hooping background, Isis was keeping her plans a secret while Bumpa was confidently doing stand up. Something she has never done before. Gabriella sweetly suggested that stand up rarely goes over well and maybe she should do something safer. Something which proved even sweeter once Bumpa ran one of her jokes past the dolls because it was a mess. Bumpa gurl, you’re in danger. Talk turned to the running order with Bumpa sharing that she was desperate to open, while on the other hand, Gabriella was happy with anything and Hollywould felt she would make a lovely showstopper.

The dolls joined Rhys and Bree Tomasel on the mainstage to rehearse, with Rhys concerned that Gabriella’s act was one note, given she isn’t actually a professional hula hooper as she told the dolls. And was just going to gag around. Flor was going to honour her nursing skills with a CPR set and while it appeared to confuse them, the fact that she plans to teach a real skill makes me hopeful she will pull it off. Isis was going deep, talking about weathering the storm that is mental health, which meant she had to navigate the change between the energies. Bumpa had the duo laughing at the start, despite the lack of jokes. And while Hollywould’s singing was hidden from us, she did assure the duo that she is thrilled by the prospect of being shady with the order but also didn’t want to leave it to become a shit show. Literally.

Backstage Hollywould put the dolls out of their misery, announcing that Isis would be opening the show, followed by Bumpa, then Flor, Gabriella and that she would be closing it herself. Which was her final decision. That is, until Isis suggested the energy of her performance would best sit in the middle, so she offered it to Gabriella instead. While Bumpa grew more and more enraged by the fact she wanted to open the show, but clearly wasn’t viewed as strong enough by Hollywould. She, though, calmly explained her rationale and all’s well that ends well, it seems.

Elimination Day arrived with Isis exhausted from all the rehearsal, while Gabriella admitted she had a good sleep and plans to wing it opening the show. As they split up to beat their mugs, we had another bug visitor before Flor opened up to Hollywould about how nervous she is to perform live on the mainstage while the latter assured her that she has so much charisma, that she just needs to have fun and believe in herself. Bumpa and Gabriella meanwhile were speaking about needing to prove themselves. Hollywould meanwhile asked Gabriella the origin story of her name, which came from a stoner saying they felt like Gabriella Labucci one night and after googling the name and finding there was no such person, she snatched it for her character. Flor then opened up that hers came from her biological mother, who died bringing her into the world and hot damn, I am crying. It is beautiful to see the dolls rally around her as she broke down in tears.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Amy Taylor who is essentially Gabriella Labucci, for those that are unfamiliar. Speaking of Gabriella, she opened the Drag Brunch giving stupid hula hooping and while it was fun for 20 seconds, it was kind of a bomb. Bumpa meanwhile was a mess, relying on Ru to prompt the entire set and well, that made it funny. Flor by comparison slayed, giving jokes, silliness and useful health education. It was unexpected, smart and so much fun, so I love her. Isis meanwhile was a consummate professional – did I just jinx her?! – as she gave a moving, meaningful and a little sexy lip sync performance. And then Hollywould opened with a little opera before lip syncing to an original song and she was so good, Bumpa adorably just spoke about how talented she is in her confessional.

On the Not in My Backyard BBQ runway Gabriella served sexy, slutty tomato sauce, Bumpa gave bad Sandy, Flor was a beautiful burnt BBQ in yellow, Isis gave The Nanny does Looking for Alibrandi while Hollywould was stunning in an inflatable pool gown.

The judges lived for Gabriella and her glamour on the runway, though felt her talent show was undercooked. Badly. Bumpa too was read for being confusing as hell in the performance though they loved her runway, despite it not really making sense for the category. Flor received wall to wall praise, particularly since she is such a caring nurse. Isis meanwhile was totally beloved and cemented herself as the frontrunner while the former frontrunner’s singing was beloved, though there wasn’t enough. While Michelle desperately wanted to see more of who she is, given she appears to be quite guarded.

Backstage Flor was thrilled to clearly be one of the top queens, as Hollywould congratulated her and Isis for slaying the challenge. Bumpa and Gabriella meanwhile were ready to lip sync, given it is very clear they were in the bottom. Gabriella though was worried about the fact the judges aren’t seeing who she is, which is something that also worried Hollywould. With Flor, who has English as a second language, explaining that Ru doesn’t want her to be an extrovert, just to let her guard down.

Ultimately Flor had to settle for safe as Isis claimed her second win, before Hollywould was deemed safe. She then went unsafe, asking Ru what she wants to see from her, with her asking Hollywould to pull down the wall as it is what she needs, not just to succeed, but for a happy life. After making her way to the back of the stage, Gabriella and Bumpa lined up for the lip sync – as expected – and as soon as Jet’s 20 YEAR OLD Are you Gonna Be My Girl kicked off, it was clear our Italian queen was not going anywhere. She had all the energy, she was camp and she was flipping in every direction, and while Bumpa was a star, it wasn’t enough to save her as she exited with her head held high and praising the crew like a kind, hardworking icon.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug, assuming that praising the crew was essentially just a comment targeted at me, given I cook 10 meals per season. I mean, talk about a hardworking icon, no? Given Bumpa is obviously on the fast track to a vs The World season, I assured her that she has the chops for victory given she is so charismatic. So instead, focus on earning the coin to upgrade the wardrobes and she will coast even further into our hearts like Down Under’s version of Alyssa Edwards or Katya. And while she waits, well, she can smash a bowl of Breakfast Hamburger Helpa Love.

Yes, yes – this is just another one of my crack an egg on it and called it breakfast recipes. But the fact that they are simple – or lazy – shouldn’t matter, only that they taste delicious and fill you with joy. And, make good use of leftovers.

Enjoy!

Breakfast Hamburger Helpa Love
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 serves Irene HamduBois Helper
1 tbsp butter
2 eggs
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Cook (or reheat) the hamburger helper per Irene’s recipe.

Pop the butter in a skillet over medium heat and once foaming, crack the eggs in and fry until the white are set. Sprinkle with a good whack of salt and pepper, and remove from the heat.

Divide the hamburger helper between two bowls, top each pile with an egg and then devour, joyously.


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Punanilini Bean Dip

Condiment, Dip, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France the top five were thrilled to learn they’d be competing in the famed Girl Groups challenge. That is until they learnt that they would be facing off against the eliminated queens, with the best of their fallen sisters battling against the worst of the top five for a chance to return. As such, the dolls gave it their absolute all, working as one and straight up proving just why they made it to the end. That being said, Sara slayed and as such scored her third win of the season. Piche meanwhile, absolutely dominated from the eliminated queens and faced off against Cookie in the lip sync. And used that fire to demolish the lip sync and return to the competition, sending Cookie out in her place.

Backstage Piche tried to hide her jubilation as everyone sadly paid their respects to sweet Cookie. Eventually talk turned to Piche’s return and while the rest of the dolls felt like it was odd and a disappointing way for Cookie to go, Mother Keiona did assure Piche that she was happy for Piche to get another shot at the crown. Because, trust, if she was eliminated she would want another shot.

The next day the dolls were trying to sell the Werk Room to prospective buyers – Down Under, it’s a good space! – before everyone praised Sara on her third win. She meanwhile was just thrilled to be on the up again after a string of bottoms, which is something Piche obviously related to. The clock struck Cocorico as Nicky arrived to pop them through a Weakest Link mini challenge, hosted by the iconique Lova Ladiva. After five minutes to beat their mugs, the dolls ventured to set and well, they were stupid and oh so fun. Though Punani, obviously, stole the show, shouting out her fake sons and living her best life. Sadly though, it was treated like an actual quiz show, so her charm meant nothing and Ms. Mami Watta proved unstoppable as she snatched the win.

But that means nothing because for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over rugby players and swoon, my basement is flooded. As were the queens’, though they seemed to be more excited about having new sisters. For winning the mini challenge though, Mami was able to pair the queens taking the zaddiest for herself, giving the bearded zaddy Ryan to Piche, François went to Sara, a lovely man called Ludovic to Kieona leaving Florent for Punani and TBH, it was super fair, as everyone kinda looked like a perfect match.

After Nicky departed the dolls got to know their rugby players with Mami gagged to learn she paired herself with a straight. Though he loved the show thanks to her wife, so that is not nothing, I guess. And hearing him talk about being the Maddy Morphosis of France, essentially, has me delighted. Sara’s player meanwhile was excited to show inclusivity by participating and hoped to make his kids proud, and ugh, like Sara, I am already crying. Keiona meanwhile was lucky to get a gay guy, though he was scared to get rid of his beard while Piche and her player were just vibing and living their best lives. As were Punani and her zaddy, given they are just sweeties. I mean, he practised walking in heels at home to help the process. Sadly though, it didn’t appear to give him much of an advantage as the dolls raced their daughters and he lost.

We then did a hard pivot to a supercut of the dolls shaving their players – except Piche, obviously – before they beated their mugs and bonded even further. Punani’s player, like Sara’s, was thrilled to set an example for his kids and hoped his appearance would contribute to a better world in some way. It then led to Piche opening up about being kicked out of home at 13 after her boyfriend outed her to her parents and seeing everyone, including the rugby players, rally around to comfort her was just beautiful to see. As beautiful as the rugby players felt when they saw themselves in drag for the first time. Because they were all gagged.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined on the panel by Nicolas Huchard et La Zarra as Piche and Christabiche fought to be the star of the ball and well, looked a million bucks. Despite being modelled on Cinderella’s ugly step sisters. Mami Watta and Queen Mera went from grannies to glamazonian dominatrixes, and well, swoon. Punani and Lovali were absolute camp delights while Keiona and Lola were pretty in purple, before Sara stole the show with her new sister Divina serving Ed and Pats and yeah, give her her fourth win, I guess. Because it was absolute perfection. Per. Fec. Tion.

Christerbiche was absolutely beloved for looking stunning, though Piche was read for the ill fitting outfits. Queen Mera too was praised for her energy, with Mami in turn was read for not finessing the details. Punani and Lovali were praised for the camp, though read for the outfit falling off Lovali. As Lovali sweetly tried to take the fall for Punani, like an icon. Keiona once again received universal praise before Sara was almost handed the win then and there just for being an absolute star.

Backstage the vibe was upbeat as the dolls bonded further. Well except for Mami, who was worried she was in the bottom. Punani on the other hand was hoping to avoid the bottom, despite the fit issues of the dresses. Oh and then they did a group cocorico. Which is important.

Before getting to the results, the dolls were asked why they should go through to the finale, with Piche sharing she was ready to prove herself. Mami wanted to teach others to dream big, Punani was proud of her growth and ready to cap it off with that win, Keiona was thrilled to take risks and prove she can still grow while Sara was proud of being able to grow to love herself and that she deserves it.

Ultimately, the judges agreed with that as she snatched her fourth win and made her way directly through to the finale. Keiona was next to book her ticket – as she deserves – followed by Mami Watta, leaving Punani and Piche to battle for the final spot. As soon as the lip sync kicked off – to Une femme avec une femme by Mecano, which tragically reminded me we didn’t have any licensing issues this year – it was clear this was Punani’s to lose as she felt all the emotions and channelled her fire for the crown to knock it out of the park. And ultimately book her spot in the finale, sending Piche out the door one final time.

Given we had already dabbled in comfort, I gave Piche a hug and sent her on her way before pulling Punani aside for a bit of a pre-finale perk up. Why Punani you ask? Well, since the other dolls track records were iconic in their own ways – no tops or bottoms for Mami, 4 wins and some lows for Sara and never lower than second for Mother Keiona – I figured Punani deserved it for her more classic trajectory of highs and lows. Which she was ok with, given a pre-finale advantage is a pre-finale advantage. And when it comes in the form of a vat of Punanilini Bean Dip, how could she be disappointed?

Earthy and lightly spiced, this easy dip is so warming and nourishing, it will have you coming back for more. Better still, it is pretty damn healthy, so you don’t even have to contend with guilt.

Enjoy!

Punanilini Bean Dip
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
400g can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tbsp olive oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp chargrilled capsicum, drained
2 tbsp fresh flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop everything in a food processor and blitz until smooth. Season to taste.

Decant into a small bowl and devour, with your fave crackers.


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Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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