Previously on Australian Survivor after the tragic loss of Cirie the night before, the final three were delighted to wake up on the beach to find their celebratory final three breakfast. Parvati was conflicted, proud of playing such a dominant game, but disappointed to not have her soulmate sitting alongside her at the end. After fuelling for final tribal council, the trio congratulated each other on playing such strong games and shared how grateful they were to become friends along the way. Which tragically is the win Janine had to settle for, as she was completely shut out of final tribal council and finished in third place.
Rewinding back to after opening statements, Lisa kicked off the Q&A portion of the game, talking about how much of a superfan she is, because Survivor just makes her happy, so her question was asking Luke to tell her what makes him happy about Survivor. He talked about how much he loves living in the jungle and catching crabs, and that it makes him as happy as Parv and Janine must be to be sitting next to him. Cirie asked Parvati why she was so upset to see Cirie’s torch get snuffed, with Parvati breaking down in tears again, talking about how miraculous it is to be as close as she is to Cirie and how she would do anything to give Cirie a shot in the end, because she took a shot from her in Micronesia. And she wanted it so badly for Cirie.
Tommi asked Parvati if she ever intended to play with him, with Parvati talking about being World strong at the merge. But when he followed it up, she laughed and said, well, she could tell he was close with Lisa and Kass, and as such, she invested her time with World, then the women and not necessarily Tommi. Luke joked that he wanted to work with Tommi, leading him to ask Luke why he should vote for someone that spoke about being Aussie strong all season. Luke defended himself, telling Tommi that he was ready to flip to the World players, alongside Shonee, blaming not being taken on the spa reward as the reason for opting out and joining Janine to work with Cirie and Parv, rather than forming a majority with them. As he played a calm game this time, rather than bouncing around each vote.
Kass pointed out that they needed four votes to win, so asked Parvati who she thinks would vote for her and why. She pointed out that she and Kass were fierce rivals all season, so she assumed Kass would vote for her, because she would if the tables were turned. She felt Lisa and Cirie would also vote for her, and she was hopeful that Kirby would also reward her. As she was also in control of all the votes, despite having the biggest target on her back from Day 1. Sarah meanwhile asked Janine to clarify her very loyal game, given she was the reason that (stoked the flames that) broke up the Aussies. Which led to Luke laughing about it being Janine, while Sarah pointed out that her alleged flawless game clearly had a flaw, as she played herself into the minority. Janine explained that she felt she had to pick between the two of them, as Sarah doubled down, saying that was not the time. Repeatedly. And her messiness made it a harder path to the end for her and Luke. Janine then pointed out that she never actually knew Kirby was voting for Sarah, and when the jurors argued semantics between them, it was kind of iconic.
Shonee asked Luke when he felt the most vulnerable, with him mentioning just after Kass had been voted out and how desperately he wanted to win immunity. He spoke about how convincing Parvati to rip up her advantage only benefitted his game, with her interjecting that not playing the advantage was the power, as it guaranteed her a final four, which was better than just getting another idol. Kirby wrapped things up, talking about how much she desperately wanted to play with Parvati, as two queens side by side. Parv agreed that she really wanted to work with her and she believed her, 100%, however she already had a solid alliance and as such, she had to go with the move that had momentum, when it was clear she couldn’t change their minds. And while she wanted to save her with her idol, she knew that she had to be smart and keep her idol for herself and set up her end game.
Parvati then reiterated that she was on the right side of every single vote, as she either knew about every plan, or came up with it. Despite being the biggest target in the game, she didn’t even have her name written down once, which is frankly unbelievable. With that the jury voted – Cirie and Tommi proclaiming Parvati the greatest Survivor player of all time, to boot – and after a single vote for Luke – from Sarah – the rest of them piled up on Parvati, handing her the win. And proving her the ultimate champion.
Luke was understandably heartbroken to finish in second place, though I pulled him in for a hug and congratulated on playing such a strong game. While I would argue Janine did a bunch of the heavy lifting, Luke has grown each time he has played the game, and this season he expertly delivered flashy moves and went toe to toe with the best in the form of Parvati, while also building relationships with everyone on the island and laying low as required. It was impressive, just not as impressive as the masterclass we witnessed from the third two-time winner. Though impressive enough to toast being runner-up with a piping hot bowl of Luke Discoki Fries.
While this is kind of like a bogan poutine, like Luke, the fries are so charming, you can’t help but like them. Better yet, they are way easier to make. Crunchy chips, gooey mozzarella and gravy, sign me up.
Enjoy!
Luke Discoki Fries Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 batches Jud Beerza Battered Fries 4 tbsp unsalted butter 2 shallots, minced 3 garlic cloves, minced sea salt and pepper ¼ cup flour 3 cups beef stock 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce 250g mozzarella, grated parsley, for serving
Method Cook the fries per Jud’s recipe until they are golden and crunchy.
While that is happening, melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat and saute the shallots and garlic for a couple of minutes. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper, before adding in the flour and cooking, stirring, for a further couple of minutes. Reduce heat to low and slowly whisk in the stock, followed by the Worcestershire. Season as required, and simmer for 5 minutes, or until rich and thickened.
To serve, pop your seasoned fries into a bowl and top with mozzarella, before pouring over the gravy. Sprinkle with parsley before devouring, greedily.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Shonee was the odd one out in the final five, with the duos of Luke and Janine, and Parvati and Cirie locked and loaded to head to the final four together, despite the inherent risk of someone going out by fire. Which she expertly tried to remind everyone of, before turning her attention to making Janine’s real world success and highlighting that a professional keynote speaker is probably not the person you want to head to the end against. At the immunity challenge, our Queen Shonee, valiantly fought to earn her place in the top four, however the wind had other ideas, blowing over her stack and allowing Luke to score his third win. At tribal council Luke was torn between staying firm or making a wild move, so after Parvati pulled out her hidden immunity, he handed his immunity off to Janine after making her promise to let him go to fire. He then pulled out his idol and while he was tempted to play it for Shonee, he and Parv awkwardly played their idols for each other as Shonee was shown the door.
To reiterate, breaking the heart of the nation in the process.
Given it is the finale, we got a lovely Parvati confessional about how spicy the game has been from the start and that she feels like she has had to earn her place each and every day. Cirie was overwhelmed by just how tough the Aussies played the game, while Luke was thrilled to prove himself the King of the Jungle once again. And while Janine wasn’t given a cold-open confessional, she is a legend and, one assumes, was ready to dominate this ‘ere finale.
The next day Parvati went for a swim in the ocean, talking about how much she wanted to make up for her loss in Samoa 15 years earlier, putting it down to a bitter jury. Plus, this is her best game yet, not even securing a vote despite being a target from day one. Before she spoke about how grateful she is to still have her Survivor soulmate by her side. Cirie too was thrilled to still have Parvati in the game, knowing that she can easily secure the win as the undisputed best to never win. If she makes it to the end. The only thing that concerned her, however, was how Luke would perform in front of a jury, because she was rather confident that he could be a threat. So much so, that the girls were grateful to have Janine agree to vote with them to take him out. While Janine assured us that the only way she is turning on Luke is if it comes down to the two of them.
Luke meanwhile was feeling rather emotional, given he was voted out in fourth – as our first male Fourth Place Robbed Goddess – last time he played five years ago, and he was now ready for his redemption. He was proud of having fought from the bottom all game, and was hopeful that his relationship with Janine would be enough to at least give him the shot at fire.
If he doesn’t win immunity, of course.
After a supercut of the iconic, torturous final immunity challenges of yore, the final four met JLP by the shore where four giant devices stood. He explained that they would each stand on narrow pegs holding heavy weights, moving onto narrower pegs as they go, with the last person standing jagging final immunity and guaranteeing their place in the final tribal council. Everyone appeared to be pretty uncomfortable straight out of the gate, except for Parvati, who was frankly just vibing. After half an hour Cirie fell off after valiantly trying to save herself. At the one hour mark, JLP made the rest of them move onto narrower pegs, which really dialled up the pain and saw Janine lose her spot. Luke continued to struggle like every straight man in a reformer class, as Parvati stood like a statue. While that was happening, Janine and Cirie started to gossip, with Cirie confirming that Janine needs to stick with them, unless she wants to go to fire. As Luke willed Parvati to slip, she assured him that this is 100% her challenge and she will take out immunity. At the 90 minute mark they moved to the narrowest pegs and while they both made the transition, it wasn’t long before Luke finally lost his place in the challenge, handing Parvati immunity and a spot in the final tribal council. Her first final immunity win to boot!
Parvati was in tears, Luke could barely move and ugh, seeing them all support each other was honestly so lovely to watch.
Back at camp Parvati turned her attention to making sure Cirie would sit in the final three with her, as the duo giggled about sharing breakfast together tomorrow. Parvati pointed out that if Luke made it to the final tribal council, they’re all in trouble. As much trouble as Cirie will be if she has to make fire against Luke, so they just had to make sure Janine voted with them. While that was happening, Janine and Luke were busy pledging their undying loyalty to each other, with Luke extremely hopeful that Janine would make good on her promise and at least give him his opportunity at fire.
Cirie arrived and pulled her aside to talk through their options, with her reiterating that Luke is the most likely to win out of everyone left and as such, getting rid of him is their only shot. And while I am confident that Parvati and Cirie played the better game, I will let the argument slide. While Janine debated about whether she wanted to keep her word, or improve her chances of winning. Improve being the operative word, as I believe she doesn’t think she wins against anyone, so is likely to just go with the option to help whoever she is closest to. But I digress.
At tribal council the jury were delighted to see Parvati wearing immunity as she spoke about how special this season has been for her, because everyone has been so lovely and played so hard. She admitted that she would love to pull out the victory and take the crown back the US, though the season has clearly not come down to tribal lines post merge, as they’ve been focused on playing the game at the highest level. Luke admitted that he was rather nervous tonight, and was hoping he and Janine could stay Aussie strong one final time. Janine spoke about needing to play for herself but that the lines have blurred, because she knows how important it is to have the right people against her.
Parvati spoke about how desperately she would love to have Cirie at the end with her as this game has been all about redemption, with Cirie agreeing that she would love to make it to the end after almost 20 years playing the game. As she’d love to finally retire. After Parvati and Cirie agreed that they would be voting together, Janine spoke about feeling like either way, she would be disappointing someone tonight. And sometimes you need to stop thinking, and just go with what you promised. With that the tribe voted and despite her assurance that she would be with them, Janine stuck with Luke, tying things up and forcing Luke and Cirie into fire.
They took their places behind their stations, with Parvati quickly getting to work coaching Cirie as they started scraping magnesium. As expected, Luke was the first to get a flame and following Sarah’s lead, rocked it into a fire as he tried to light kindling. It all fell apart as the jury started to squirm as Cirie finally jagged a flame. She slowly started to build a fire as Luke desperately tried to rebuild his, which he did, just as Cirie’s disappeared. Luke’s fire then collapsed, as Shonee told him to chill, while Cirie calmly worked away and built a healthy fire. She and Luke continued to feed their fires in the hope it would be big enough to burn through the rope and ugh, it was honestly so damn stressful as they both came so close so many times. Ultimately, though, Luke was first to burn through the rope, earning his spot in final tribal council and sending Cirie out of the game.
By fire. At four. Once again. As she, Lisa and every single fan cried. While fate decided to play the cruellest joke, as her flame burnt through the rope as she spoke about her journey with JLP. Though vowed she will never lose fire making again. The one bit of solace I take, is that she now also holds the distinction of being the final torch snuffed by JLP, and honestly, that feels right for both of the icons.
Seeing Cirie’s latest game end the same way her first one did was truly gutwrenching, so she followed my rage screams all the way to the Jury Villa where I leaped into her arms and cried for so long that we almost missed the final tribal council. Thankfully I can now share – as you already know – that she was able to make me stop crying by letting me know that this definitely won’t be happening to her on Survivor 50, as she will employ Luke and Sarah to train her every day until she flies out with Probst and Co. And while it didn’t take away all the pain, it did fill me with a little bit of hope. As did the knowledge that she earned another iconic game placement, as the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season. And that is always worthy of a celebratory Shirazirie Fields Salad.
To quote Pride and Prejudice and The Simpsons once again, it is a fact universally acknowledged that you don’t make friends with salad. Which is actually why I chose to make this for Cirie, as she is so damn likeable, she would never need to rely on food to make friends. Buuutttttttt, if she did, this salad is the final exception to the rule. It packs a massive punch of herbs and citrus, it would have anyone coming back for more.
Enjoy!
Shirazirie Fields Salad Serves: 4.
Ingredients 3 roma tomatoes, diced 2 lebanese cucumbers, diced ½ red onion, diced ½ green capsicum, diced small handful of parsley, chopped small handful of coriander, chopped small handful of mint, chopped 1 tbsp dried mint 1 tsp sumac salt and pepper, to taste 2 limes, zested and juiced 2 tbsp olive oil
Method Like most salads, this isn’t the most difficult one to make. Combine the tomato, cucumber, onion and capsicum in a bowl, and stir to combine.
Toss through the herbs and sumac with a good whack of salt and pepper, before adding the lime zest and juice, and olive.
Stir to combine, cover and pop in the fridge for an hour to allow the flavours to come together. Then, and only then, do you serve.
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Previously on Australian Survivor, Parvati was desperate to find the key to open the locked box they won at the opening challenge. That being said, she was more keen to form a women’s alliance and ugh, I love that for her. Tony meanwhile was hoping they would stay US strong, though knew he and Tommi could be in trouble, so pulled out the win at the immunity challenge. Back at the Aussie camp Kirby took control and convinced Sarah and Shonee to get rid of David, while George and David planned to get rid of Shonee, David, Janine and Luke wanted to get rid of George and George wanted to get rid of Janine. As such chaos ensued, all afternoon and at tribal council, before the vote finished up tied between David and George, with a solitary vote for Janine, before David was booted from the game on the revote.
Making Hayley the only returning winner to survive a tribal council. Though to be fair, she was also voted out on her winning season, but I digress.
Back at camp everyone was excited by the drama at tribal council, with Janine and Luke quickly praising Kirby for pulling off the move and quickly downplaying how they felt about David. George tried to get under Luke’s skin, telling everyone he was told to vote against Janine. Sadly for him, Luke is not a newbie, and swiftie called him out for potentially voting out Shonee. And while he was quick to downplay it, you know that was all Shonee needed to hear to make him her number one priority again.
The next day the tribe were tidying up around camp. And by that, went hunting for idols under the guise of tidying. Luke admitted to us that he was feeling alone without David, and given he completely burnt George, he knew that he needed to find a way forward. Thankfully though, he had the godmother in his corner, so they got to work finding a way into the majority. George meanwhile was catching up with Shonee, assuring her that he was never planning to vote for her and admitted that he owes her, so will champion to take out whoever she wants. While all Shonee could worry about was being fixated like Stevie, or worse, being Sue’s Big Move. Shonee pulled Sarah and Kirby aside to pledge her undying loyalty, talking to them about how voting for David was to prove loyalty, given she would have preferred to get rid of George instead. Sarah on the other hand was regretting voting for David, now worried that she was being tested. And that Kirby seemed to be just as loyal to Shonee as she was to her.
Over at the World tribe Parvati, Tony and Cirie were busy whipping up a pot of coffee for the tribe and everything was kumbaya. Tony though was rightly worried, knowing that the women are clearly in control, and while the Americas are equal, he is still sceptical they will stick together. Parvati turned her attentions back to the box, with Tony suggesting they all go hunting for a key and use it to the advantage of the tribe. However when Cirie questioned whether it could really benefit ‘us’ rather than one of them, they all split up to find the key solo. Everyone was wandering aimlessly trying to find the needle in the haystack before Parvati snatched it out of nowhere. After literally standing in front of it for a few minutes. She immediately shared it with Kass and Cirie, before Cirie tried to open it. Just as Tony arrived, leaving them trying to relock it before even catching a peek inside.
As he innocently asked if they had any luck, the girls tried to lie about what was happening to get him away from camp long enough to lock it, with them finally successful. Only for him to stick to the box like glue. This led to Cirie enlisting Lisa to take Tony to the well to keep him distracted long enough for Cirie and Parvati to open it again. Which they did, only to be super disappointed to discover it was just a clue to a hidden immunity idol, which is conveniently located at the base of Jonathan’s podium at tribal council. And while that kinda sucks, she is grateful to have three loyal, strong women wanting to work with her and move mountains. And while she relaxed by the ocean, Cirie, Lisa and Kass went for a walk where Kass wandered off and jagged the camp idol without anyone noticing. Like a damn queen.
We headed back to the Aussie tribe where George and Kirby were catching up, with the former warning Kirby to keep a close eye on Sarah as she can’t be trusted. While Sarah was busy chatting to Janine about being unsure whether she made the right decision at the previous tribal council. Thankfully Sarah and Kirby caught up to clear the air, with Sarah warning her that while they are good with Shonee, she knows Shonee does not trust her and as such, she wants her gone eventually. And while they are besties, Sarah told us that she and Kirby are fighting in her head and Kirby now needs to prove her loyalty to her by getting rid of Shonee. Now, not eventually. That night Sarah caught up with Luke and Janine, looping them in on her plan to get rid of Shonee and save them, and ugh, Sarah girl, you in danger. At least, with me being a fan after this vote.
After all that preamble, my love Jonathan finally made his debut for the immunity challenge where each tribemember would each hold a sandbag tethered to a trough, with the last tribe left standing without getting wet snatching victory. Aka the group version of Parv’s go to challenge. Lisa started to fatigue early with Tommi being an absolute sweetheart and helping hold her’s up as long as possible. George tried to start a little banter with Tony to get him to blow a kiss before straight up spilling that he almost went home the night before and that the tribe is fractured. Much to the absolute rage of his entire tribe. After half an hour, Cirie accidentally let go of a bag and went to the sit out bench, leading to them all trying to balance the extra bag while poor Lisa looked like she was about to faint. They hit the one hour mark and sweet Lisa continued to hold on, as George told Parvati he gave his tribe a run down of her greatness as everyone continued to struggle. Sarah almost dropped her bag, causing the tribe to nearly shit their pants, before they ultimately hit the 1 hour 40 minute. Which is what cost the Aussies with Sarah actually dropping out of nowhere, presumably as they didn’t have Parv hyping them up like she was Lisa.
Back at camp George spoke about how strong Parvati is before they split up to start scrambling, with George pitching he, Shonee, Sarah and Kirby split the vote between Janine and Luke. And they convince the two of them to turn on each other. Which is bold, but also stupid, as they could just tie things up on a third option, allowing Sarah or Shonee to flip. Oh and it also pisses people off for acting like a bully when you could just vote them out without trauma. After he spoke to Luke and annoyed the shit out of him, Shonee pulled Luke aside to float the idea of blindsiding George, given he would clearly flip to the World players at the first opportunity. And he is a bully and a liability. With that, Shonee took George to the well to allow Luke the time to talk to Janine, Sarah and Kirby about getting rid of George, since it would mean they would go into the merge united, even though Sarah was nervous about leaving Shonee in the game without a ride or die, as she could find one on the other tribe. Which I guess is also right, though given she is close to Kirby, she could also form a trio and take you to the end over Luke and Janine, but whatever.
Everyone reunited with George, who was clearly feeling super confident in his level of control, calling paths George Street and suggesting they are living on Shonee’s Beach. So when he went openly hunting for an idol, the rest of the tribe talked about how annoyed they are by his perceived control. Shonee though did not want him to feel like he was in danger, so went hunting with him to keep him as relaxed as possible and damn, he is feeling good. George then tried to speak to Luke and Janine, telling them they have no choice but to vote for each other. Which obviously pissed off our business icon into being locked on the plan. Janine though was worried about a potential idol, so suggested that maybe she should throw a vote on Shonee instead as contingency. As such, she approached Kirby and Sarah to make sure they were okay with that. Which they were, Sarah in particular, thought it was music to her ears, using it as one final opportunity to try and convince Kirby to get rid of Shonee. And ugh, Sarah, please stop, I was rooting for you.
At tribal council Kirby spoke about the confusion at the previous tribal council, blaming David for all of it. With Shonee quickly jumping in to agree, talking about how the tribe were now solely focused on locking in numbers and keeping things loyal at the merge. Sarah was hopeful tonight was an easy vote, though was concerned she jinxed it by saying that. With Shonee assuring her she will be fine. Kirby admitted she was still figuring out how to play a faster game with these all time greats. Janine then outed George for telling her that she has to vote for Luke, with George happily talking about how he is honest to a fault. This spooked Janine who started to whisper to Luke to change his vote to Shonee to protect her from George’s idol, while the latter continued to be so cocky and bold that everyone looked more and more frustrated by his antics.
He then reminded them that he is the best asset to navigate the World tribe come the merge, and was confident he would be able to earn them the majority should they merge tomorrow. And while Janine called him out for trying to earn the affection of their rivals, he assured her that he is ready to rule with an iron fist. With that the tribe voted – Shonee honouring her 50th tribal council, by casting a vote for George – and thankfully Shonee came out on top as George was mercifully sent from the game. With him even happy that Shonee was able to get her revenge.
Given he was so happy that Shonee was able to get her revenge, I pulled him in for a massive hug, finally admitting to being a fan of his game. While he is full of bravado and arrogance, it is because he is acutely aware that he is making a TV show first and foremost and as such, knows to swing for the fences. And while he didn’t really have much space to move this season, he was still able to cement his legend status. Which goes perfectly with a big bowl of George Mladenoodle Salad.
This slightly tweaked version of the Chang’s Crispy Noodle Salad is honestly such a nostalgic delight. It reminds me of ‘90s barbecues and sticky summers, and honestly, it is the first salad that made me think, maybe, just maybe you could make friends with salad.
Enjoy!
George Mladenoodle Salad Serves: 2 power bottoms, or 6 side (serves)s.
Ingredients ¼ cup white vinegar 2 tbsp muscovado sugar 1 tbsp soy sauce 2 tsp sesame oil ½ cup olive oil ½ wombok, shredded 6 shallots, sliced ½ cup slivered almonds, toasted 1 packet Chang’s Original Fried Noodles
Method Combine the vinegar, muscovado, soy sauce, sesame and olive oil in a bowl, and whisk until well combined.
In a large bowl, combine the cabbage, shallots, almonds and noodles and give a decent toss. If you’re serving straight away, pour over the dressing and toss to combine before serving and devouring.
If you’re not eating straight away, hold off mixing in the noodles and dressing to maintain optimal crunch.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Nash found an idol in the opening moments of the game and immediately became the most insufferable person on screen. As the rest of the Brains and Brawn got out to battle, a group of iconic women led by a witch and PTA vice-president took control of the Brains tribe. While Kent was busy trying to rival Nash by doing too much, and burning poor Max’s hat in the hope of being relevant – I mean, toxic. – and getting rid of Myles. For reasons. When Nash caused the Brawns to lose immunity, the goal quickly became to flush his idol or get him out. And tragically for Candy, it was the former, as she became the first boot.
We opened by checking in with the Brains, where we met cute little Kaelan who was serving up coconuts and winning hearts. Along with mine, because he is hot. And smart. And cares about the environment. And is doing something about it. I stan him and will have 20 of his babies. Meanwhile over at the Brawn tribe, Nash continued to make a play for screen time as he turned his shorts into speedos and gloated about surviving tribal council. He was wise enough to figure out that somebody from his alliance flipped on him though, so got to work finding out who the culprit was. And it literally became the quickest hunt, as he spoke to Zen first, who immediately admitted it and shared he only wanted to flush the idol. While admitting to us that he looks forward to blindsiding Nash at the first opportunity.
Back at the Brains, Indy was weaving a new hat for Max to make up for Kent burning his on night one. Just as I was about to make a pun about his name and certain c word, Kent broke down in confessional about how desperately he has wanted to be on the show and while it gives rich people problems, I won’t kick him while he is down. Wait, no, he is still coming for Myles in the cruellest way possible, saying he lacks EQ and is playing too hard, which is exactly what I’d say about the millionaire who is currently bullying a pole dancer king and burnt a teacher’s hat. Thankfully I wasn’t the only person to notice, as Rich pointed out Kent was being a bit weird. We then met Indy who spoke about her plans to lay low and watch what everyone was doing to position herself well, quickly deciding that she would like to hitch her wagon to the Coven. Which is 100% what I would do, as a gay man.
The Coven too were thrilled to be in a coven, with Laura delighted by how her game was playing out so far. We learnt that her number one is Logan and honestly, I live because again, this is giving big Shonella energy. Knowing the girls need a few boys to make a majority, Laura and Logan quickly got to work finding a man to join them. Sadly, Rich became target number one as he sidled up to them to take control. Sadly for them, he was also playing them and his plan was for him and Max to pretend they’re riding their coattails before cutting their throats. And just like that, Rich and Max are dead to me.
My love Jonathan returned for the latest reward challenge where they would race down a slide to collect sandbags, which they would use to knock over puzzle pieces and then run out into the ocean to solve the floating puzzle. Oh and the victors would either get a big old fish or a big ol’ set of fishing gear. Everyone was neck and neck on the slide until Karin missed her bag. Thankfully Queen Logan grabbed a double and tied it up. It remained tight as they tried to knock the puzzle pieces free, but who really cares, given half the men are in speedos and they look glorious. Including my boyfriend Paulie. The Brawns got out to a massive lead until Nash wanted to step in and toss some bags, and absolutely flopped allowing the Brains to power ahead. For some reason, they left Nash playing, allowing the Brains to methodically work through the puzzle until Ben finally stepped in and caught them up. And then Zaddy Paulie happened, calmly guiding the Brawns through the puzzle until the gap closed. Though sadly not quick enough as the Brains narrowly secured reward.
Back at camp the Brains were thrilled to see their options with Kaelan pushing for them to take the fishing gear while Rich was the lone voice wanting to have a huge meal today and then starve for the rest of the game. As he was telling us they would never catch any fish in their bay, Kaelan snagged one right on cue and yes, he remains my icon. Karin and Logan, meanwhile, were hating how much of a flop their shelter is. Being proactive, Ally tried to lead the tribe in some repairs, while the boys joked around and complained about working and not relaxing. Specifically one of my new least favourite people, Rich. Ally took Zara for a little walk in the jungle to formulate a little plan to get rid of him and free up some of the nicer boys to work with them, and just improve all the vibes around camp. That night Karin and Ally looped in Indy on the plan and while she was thrilled to be part of an alliance, she did question whether she would have been told if she hadn’t asked and ugh, Indy, please don’t do anything silly.
JLP made his return for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to untie and roll a giant spool through a course with someone perched on top to collect sandbags before setting up some targets before two people try to land four sandbags on top from a far away tower. Brawn got out to a very early lead until the Brains got their eye in and snuck ahead. Despite having a massive lead by the time they got to tossing, the Brawn tribe quickly got their eye in as Ben landed bag after bag and snatched victory, sending the Brains to tribal council. All because Rich is an absolute flop.
Back at camp he tried to distract from his flop ways as the tribe focused on how close they were in the challenge, ignoring how much of an epic lead they had. Kent meanwhile was on an island by himself, pumped to be getting rid of Myles at the first opportunity. While AJ was ready to get rid of Myles, Kaelan was not so sure given he is good at challenges which Kent weakly pointed out that they are the same height, which means absolutely nothing. He then grew worried about scrambling and making people doing stupid things, so went into the jungle for a nap. Thankfully Kaelan looped in Myles, letting him know that people are getting scared that he is playing too hard and want to eliminate him before he can make a move against them.
While the boys were feuding amongst themselves, the girls continued to focus on getting rid of Rich. Except for Indy, who wasn’t thrilled to just be a number and not in control. Zara calmly pointed out that not everyone can get their way this first vote given there are literally 12 different motives, which appeared to calm Indy a little. Until it didn’t, given Laura was more focused on protecting Rich as her puppet. The other issue was Indy, who wanted to be in a power position, so decided to approach AJ, and then Rich and Max to let them know that Karin had rallied the women to get rid of Rich. And ugh, Indy, I was rooting for you. Now, I’m not. She then threatened to come for them if they threw her under the bus and well, you know that means they’re going to do just that.
As soon as she went away, the boys decided that she was making it all up and instead decided to turn their attention to her instead. As that was happening, Laura was telling the girls that going for Rich could be a bigger problem if he stayed and as such, they should just vote for Myles to lull him into a false sense of security. While her logic is solid, Zara and Karin were not sold. Until Rich joined the girls and told them that Indy said they’re all coming for him, and as such, the girls quickly got on board with his plan to get rid of her instead. Giving us another tragic episode with Rich, but thankfully keep pole king Myles around another day. The tribe seemed to have come together until Kent woke up and told everyone to vote Myles, and TBH it was complete and utter chaos as they prepared to head off.
At tribal council Karin spoke about how the Brains had made the most of the first five days, laying the groundwork of alliances and getting to know each other. But it is all untested without a trip to tribal council, so they’re about to cash some cheques. Myles spoke about how the tribe had appeared to sour on him for being too excited to play the game, with Kent quickly jumping in to point out he was working to poison the tribe against him. With the first thing being to burn Max’s hat. And while he thought it was a fun story, I’m not sure what he was planning to achieve as everyone now thinks he is an arsehole. Things then went crankier, as Indy started to throw shade at the girls, with Ally trying to defend them and Rich started to talk over her.
The fight flipped to Karin and Indy, as Karin pointed out that she wanted a man to go home first for no other reason than to protect Indy. Karin and Zara methodically tried to calm Indy down with her ultimately thinking she was right, after they admitted the girls’ alliance is not a thing. Because of her. Rich then started talking about being aligned with his Victorian castmates, which made Laura and Logan nervous that their secret had been found out. And more importantly, unsure about which way Karin was voting. With that the tribe voted – Kent, obviously, for Myles – as everyone else came together to snip Indy out of the game before she could create more chaos.
She was in tears as she walked into Loser Lodge, so I quickly swallowed my rage and instead of telling her that she only had herself to blame, I pulled her in for a hug. And then pulled a Tyra-lite, by telling her I was rooting for her and all the women to get rid of man after man … and that she only has herself to blame for going out too soon. To her credit, Indy was well aware that she should have just gone with the flow so early in the game, so I pulled her in for another hug, as we sobbed together and manifested the female domination commencing in her honour. All while devouring a Kardashindy Salad.
This little copycat of the famous, shaken Kardashian salad, is as simple as it is delicious. Plus, when a salad is jam packed full of as much meat and cheese as this one, it turns out you can make friends with salad.
Enjoy!
Kardashindy Salad Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 baby cos, thinly sliced 400g tinned chickpeas, drained and rinsed 200g Italian salami, thinly sliced 1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated ¼ cup olive oil 2 tbsp red wine vinegar 1 ½ tsp dijon mustard 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper 2 tbsp parmesan cheese, grated
Method Combine the lettuce, chickpeas, salami and mozzarella in a bowl and toss to combine.
Whisk the remaining ingredients together in a jug before drizzling over the salad, tossing said salad, serving and then, devouring.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Feras was heartbroken to have lost his two closest allies back-to-back, despite the Rebels having the majority at the final five. Caroline and Mark, meanwhile, were feeling their oats to have survived against all odds and each other all the way to the final three. And were looking forward to snipping Feras on the way to the final tribal council. At a hard fought final immunity challenge, Mark shocked everyone by dropping first leaving Caroline and Feras to battle it out, with the latter finally scoring immunity. And promptly sending Mark to the jury.
The next day the final two were positively giddy as they awoke and started to get their head in the game for the battle ahead. Feras spoke about how much he has grown throughout the season, wanting to come in and play a savage game, though how he ended up playing much kinder. That being said, he was a little bit nervous about Mark turning the jury against him. Caroline congratulated them, proud that it has come down to one Rebel and one Titan. Feras spoke about wanting to do it for his religion and be the first middle eastern man to win Australian Survivor. Caroline spoke about feeling like the least Titan-ic member of the Titans, though was proud to have overcome them all and make it to the end thanks to her internal strength.
They got to work cooking up their pre-final tribal council breakfast, with Caroline feeling alive which made Feras very nervous. She likened the game to giving birth and please, give the lady some damn votes as she truly did play a strong game and this should be closer than the edit leads me to believe it will be.
We ventured straight to the final tribal council where JLP explained how the evening’s proceedings would play out. Caroline was first with opening statements, talking about how she came into the game with a massive target as the oldest woman in a tribe of very strong people. She put her survival down to her ability to build bonds, specifically forming the middle aged mafia to survive the early stages. She articulated why she took out Viola to make it to the merge, where she ultimately took flight. She voted correctly all but two times, dominated in the fire making challenge and hot damn, she deserves to be sitting in the final two.
Feras meanwhile spoke about how he came into the game wanting to play a strong game for the Muslim and Middle Eastern communities. And to have fun along the way. At the start, he clocked that the alphas were taking control of the Rebels, so pulled together the misfits to try and get the upper hand. And despite spending much of the game on bottom, he was able to pull off some wild, chaotic moves to make it to the jury. Feras spoke about his bond with Kirby and that they both were shielding each other, and how after Alex called her out, he realised he needed to announce himself by cutting her and proving he was her equal. Most importantly, he had so much fun getting to know everyone and seeing their pride, I think we know how this is going.
We pivoted to the jurors, where Mark offered the final two some advice: to be honest and admit their mistakes, rather than try to reach for things they didn’t actually do. He then asked Caroline when she was most in trouble and how she got out of it, where she talked about the Viola blindside and how she read the situation between her and Viola, and how she worked with Kitty to flip things. Aileen pointed out Feras’ biggest weakness was not listening, before asking him to talk about his biggest move. Feras outlined that he didn’t listen because playing idols is nerve wracking. On that note, his biggest move was to go on the idol hunt and while he found it within seconds, he left it for Alex to find, knowing it would shift the target on to him instead.
Ri asked Caroline why she didn’t always include her in the plans, even when they were working together. To her credit, Caroline told her she had to do it to assess whether she could trust her and that she was always loyal to those that she was closest to. Valeria asked Feras how many votes he is expecting to get tonight, with him admitting he just hopes for the majority. Caroline wisely pointed out that she can’t count on any votes, though she wanted the jury to listen and vote for who they think played best. Valeria hilariously spoke about how the final two aren’t really giving the jury what they need to inspire votes. This fired Caroline up, talking about while she may not have played the best social game, she has fought tooth and nail to get to the end.
Alex asked Caroline how she thinks she went after he was voted out, with her talking about being proud, given she always positioned herself well enough to make it another day. Aileen said it wasn’t enough, leading her to talking about misplaying the idol on Mark which ultimately sent Kitty home. Which Ray clocked as a bad move. Kirby asked Feras why he ultimately chose to send her home and whether he was scared to face off against her. He wisely spoke about the fact that his chances of winning the game are better with her sitting on the jury, so it wasn’t fear and was simply him playing smart. And to him, getting rid of his shield was actually the bravest thing he could do. He spoke about how he leveraged his idol in various ways throughout the game to last, making strategic moves to protect himself. He then listed all the people he had orchestrated the demise of. And by the time music started to swell under him talking about how proud of his game he is, and how much he loves them all, it was clear this game was done.
With that the jury voted, JLP wheeled out Iman and Murray to stand alongside their loved ones before the votes were read and Feras was unanimously declared the winner of the season. And while I would say it was well deserved, justice for Caroline, as she played a hell of a game. As they were resetting the cameras for the fake ending, I pulled Caroline aside and pulled her in for a massive hug. Raging at Kitty, specifically, for not even giving her closest ally a vote. Because like her namesake with the different spelling in 44, she played so much better than finishing as a 0 vote finalist. She thanked me for my kindness, before I cut her off and reminded her I am not kind nor was I her staunchest of supporters – she played a killer game and deserves the praise, a season rigged for her ala Boston Rob and a big fat bowl of Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis.
I know apples and sprouts don’t exactly sound like a delicious, tasty side, but damn, this is good. Earthy, sweet and a little bit salty, it all works together perfectly and would honestly elevate any and all meals. Specifically a roast pork though, TBH.
Enjoy!
Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis Serves: 4.
Ingredients 300g Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved 1 apple, cored and diced 2 tsp avocado oil salt and pepper, to taste 2 rashers streaky bacon, diced ½ onion, sliced ½ tsp maple syrup ¼ cup roasted walnuts, roughly chopped
Method Preheat the oven to 200C.
Toss the Brussels sprouts and apples with half of the oil and a pinch of salt, and pop in a single layer on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crispy.
While they are cooking, heat the remaining oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook bacon for a couple of minutes, or until golden. Add the onions and cook for another few minutes, or until they are starting to soften. Reduce the heat to low and continue cooking for another 15 minutes, or until they are gloriously sweet.
When the sprouts are almost done, add the bacon and onion, followed by the maple and walnuts and allow to toast for a minute. Remove from the oven, toss and then devour, like a Queen.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Kirby was feeling left right out so got to work with the smartest move, playing on Kitty’s guilt. Thankfully for her, however, it wasn’t ultimately necessary as she ended up securing her own safety with immunity. Buying her more time for her bromance with Feras to flourish. They locked in a Kitty blindside with Ray and Mark, while unbeknownst to Mark, Caroline had plans of her own. You see, she thought the target was Mark and after finding the idol, she wanted to make a big move of playing it to save him and get rid of Feras instead. Mainly to impress Alex, it seems. Sadly for her, however, the Rebels and Mark instead found Kitty’s endurance strength to be more threatening and she was blindsided instead.
Back at camp Mark rightly questioned why Caroline didn’t think to warn him about her plans so he could have voted with her and Kitty. Even though we know the answer is that Caroline wanted a move of one’s own. Feras meanwhile spoke about how nervous he was to see her pull out the idol, while everyone agreed they were just grateful to still be in the game. Feras then went stargazing with Ray and Kirby, talking about how he could use his idol to get all of them to the final four. Which means something is totally getting in the way of this plan, right?
The next day the former Titans were catching up in the hammock while the Rebels simultaneously worried about what they were planning and wondering why they weren’t idol hunting. Caroline and Mark knew they were on a sinking ship, though the latter suggested that he would still like Kirby out next. Whether Feras and her are actually besties now or not. Finally realising an idol had probably been rehidden, Caroline suggested they both get hunting which made the Rebels even more nervous. As such, Feras decided that he should hide the remains of his second idol for Ray to find to both protect his legit bestie and trick the other two into stopping their hunt. And given the plan relies on Ray’s acting, I see this coming together perfectly.
Everyone split up in the jungle to hunt, allowing Ray to take on his latest role, finding and hiding his non-idol in a way that draws attention. And honestly, watching the heartache on Mark and Caroline’s faces as they watched him find the non-idol made me feel so bad. But given how it fired up Mark to win immunity, I still feel uneasy about this backfiring. Particularly since the ads have been pushing us this way, though let us not forget Sue’s big move.
The final five caught up with JLP for the aforementioned immunity challenge where they would have to roll balls down an apparatus – adding more over time – with the last person standing without dropping winning. Kirby sadly added her second ball way too closely to the first, though managed to save herself from certain doom and make it through to adding her third. Caroline made the same mistake on ball three which saw her become the first one out. Adding the fourth ball is where things got extra spicy, immediately costing Kirby. Much to the delight of Caroline. Ray then dropped trying to pick up the pace, leaving Mark and Feras to battle it out until the latter dropped out of nowhere handing Mark immunity. Just as the Rebels didn’t want.
Back at camp the mood well and truly flipped, as the Rebels were stressed AF while the Titans were rather delighted. Feras was upset about always being a bridesmaid in the challenges, on top of the fact that Mark was their target. Knowing Kirby was more likely to take him to the end than Caroline, Feras got to work trying to get Mark on board to get her out instead. He wisely approached him asking who he wanted to see go, with Mark pointing out Kirby is the obvious winner and as such, needs to be clipped before she wins out to the end. Feras took this information to Ray, who agreed that Kirby really is too big of a threat and as such, he would probably vote with the Titans.
Caroline and Kirby caught up, realising it was between them, despite neither of them wanting it to end like that. Kirby moved on to Mark, talking about how she is well aware that it is likely she will be going home tonight. Knowing Ray was the most obvious swing vote, she approached Ray to see what he was thinking. And as he flipped his coconut on to the beach accidentally, he assured her he is still Rebels strong. As such, Kirby went to talk to Feras to see whether she could actually trust Ray. Kirby pointed out that if she goes home tonight, Feras is the obvious next target and as such, gave a hail Mary in asking him to play his idol for her. And damn, her arguments are so solid, I would genuinely consider it if I was him, despite it guaranteeing him second place.
I mean, if I win you win? What a line.
Feras then approached Mark to see what he said to Kirby, with Mark admitting that he didn’t see a point lying and as such, admitted she was too much of a threat. Mark then got to work trying to lock Feras in as an ally to get rid of Kirby tonight, with him happily locking in a final three deal. Which sounds like a grab from the next episode, but I digress. Nervous about the Mark deal, Feras pulled Caroline aside to see what she was thinking, with her straight up admitting she would gladly cut Mark at final four should he not win immunity. Which again, is the very obvious thing you would say at this point of the game. The Rebels caught up one final time, with Kirby pointing out that if she goes next, the two of them will go out back-to-back barring immunity.
At tribal council Mark spoke about how grateful he is to be immune, as right on cue, Feras and Ray proved how stressful things are by whispering about what to do. Feras then spoke to the crew about feeling disappointed to have missed out on immunity, though isn’t too concerned given he has an idol. Mark talked about Caroline having a target as one of the two people without immunity, before not-so-subtly pitching to Feras and Ray about getting rid of a threat, rather than someone that would drag them to the end as goats. Feras advocated about keeping a shield around for just a little bit longer, leading to Mark and Caroline pointing out that the time to get rid of the threats is actually now, given there are three sleeps left. Kirby admitted that she knows she is only here because of her immunity wins as people are scared of her game, with Feras showboating for the jury, talking about how he isn’t scared, as maybe the jury just hasn’t seen all of his moves yet.
As Ray spoke about how the jury could respect different things, Feras popped his idol on leading to a lot of giggles as Mark pointed out that Ray also found an idol. While he joked about waiting for the right time to whip it out, rather than wearing it as he wants his moment. Not because it isn’t real. Kirby spoke about fighting for every moment she has had in the game, which lead to Caroline pointing out she has also fought hard and given her all, despite not taking out any immunities. Mark looked on as Feras looked stressed at Kirby, whispering for him to hold firm and make the smart move. With that the tribe voted and while we don’t know if it will come back to bite him, Ray admitted he didn’t actually have an idol and Feras said it was actually just his that they re-hid before saying that Kirby’s fate rests with this idol too. And after telling her she is like a sister to him, played it for himself as Kirby was tragically booted from the game.
Kirby followed my sobs all the way to the Jury Villa. While she took her boot in stride, I didn’t take it as well, heartbroken to have ended the season long feud with Feras just short of the finale. I get Feras and Ray made the right move in voting with the Titans, but I was still sad to see it end so soon. But alas, a big bowl of Herby Bentllia Chips and a hug from Kirby made me feel infinitely better.
These chips are so easy yet so delicious, they should be a crime. This Half-Baked Harvest rework is so delicious – almost a fusion between italian and mexican, they are perfect by themselves or with a rich guac or whipped feta.
Enjoy!
Herby Bentllia Chips Serves: 2 *best* friends.
Ingredients 1 tbsp Parmesan cheese, grated ½ tsp dried oregano ½ tsp dried parsley ½ tsp dried crushed rosemary ½ tsp chilli flakes ¼ tsp garlic powder ⅛ tsp kosher salt black pepper 2 small flour tortillas 2 tsp olive oil
Method Combine the parmesan, oregano, parsley, rosemary, chilli, garlic powder, salt and pepper in a small bowl.
Cut the tortillas into 8 wedges each, brush with the oil and place on a lined baking sheet. Add the seasoning, and toss to coat before arranging on a single layer. Pop in the oven and bake for 5-10 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove from the oven to cool into a nice crunch for about 5 minutes. Then, and only then, devour.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 11 queens from across the globe descended on the UK, ready to prove themselves to be the fairest of them all. Or, you know, the second best of the top four, but I digress. Immediately Ru threw down the gauntlet, making them star in a little Queens’ Variety Show. I assume to mark Chuckie’s coronation, but again, I’ve digressed. When it came to the performances, Mayhem found herself hilarious and forgot the rest, Marina was an ICON, Gothy lacked power as she literally ate fire while Le Grand Dame was stupid in the best way. When Gothy and Mayhem landed in the bottom, it was up to Marina and LGD to choose who to send home before Marina won the ultimate power. And promptly sent Mayhem straight back to Riverside, ending the run of all US dolls making it to the end of Vs the World seasons.
Backstage Tia was shocked that Mayhem was gone, despite the fact she clearly bombed the talent show. Funny and iconic, but a total bomb. After the dolls congratulated Marina, she explained that she sent home the legend because she just wants to give Gothy the chance to actually shine, given they have all had the full experience. Oh and then she made a joke about how poor taste it was to wipe off the message, given she is a Filipina cleaning a mirror in the UK. Again, she is an icon. Gothy meanwhile was on cloud nine to have made it to the second episode and ugh, her joy truly is super cute. Hannah, being Australian, asked LGD to share who she had voted for, with her agreeing she voted to get rid of Mayhem as she wants the world to get the chance to fall in love with Mayhem. Like Arantxa, who spoke about how emotional she is to be among this cast, as LGD reminded her it may be her hormones.
Oh and then the UK dolls caught up to strategise, with Hannah loudly and hilariously pointing out the alliance was meeting. As the holiday makers pointed out they outnumber the UK girlies, warning that they best be careful.
The next day Marina unveiled her gold badge and while LGD was a little jealous, she assured us she will be the next to jag one, so wasn’t overly bothered. Scarlet pointed out that given four UK girls are around, they should be nervous about being the targets. Though Choriza pointed out that the first elimination actually calmed her, given it is clear they are playing fairly. Tia meanwhile was too happy about having walked the runway in front of Ru in a nice outfit for the first time to care. Which, lol, is iconic. Michelle then dropped by to put the girls through their paces in an itty bitty quiz mini challenge with the most glorious of Brit Crew members. Everyone decreed Marina the Fairest in the Land, Shadiest was named as Hannah – doing Down Under proud, obvi – Mightiest (aka Biggest Competition) was also named Marina while Neediest was Arantxa, aka most in Need of some new Drag. Which pissed off Jonbers, given she got three votes, which she obviously felt wasn’t fair.
But over to the maxi challenge, which Michelle announced was the ball. And not just any ball, but The Happy Endings Ball. First category they would walk in their Lady Prince Charming looks, in category two they would serve She-vil Queen, while finally, they would walk in Drags to Riches Eleganza, which they would make using scraps of fabric left behind by the Brit Crew. Since the dolls felt Arantxa was needy, she got an extra 10 seconds to grab at it before the rest of the dolls joined the fray. And as is tradition, create absolute chaos. Choriza was busy hoarding literally everything, leaving Tia was next to nothing. Which obviously made her nervous, given sewing challenges are really not her jam.
Hannah pulled together a bunch of knitted mice, hoping they would help her through, given she is a hot glue gun queen. She then caught up with Jonbers, who eventually admitted she was pressed, so put it to the crowd. WIth Marina straight up admitting to it, before Gothy eventually zoned-in and claimed the second one while the third person stayed silent. Until they all started listing their votes, forcing Choriza to admit it was her. With a laugh. Everyone got busy working away and bartering fabrics, as LGD opened up about coming so close to winning the ball in her first season – thanks Paloma – that she is looking for redemption. She caught up with Tia, flirting hard to try and get fabric, while Tia was just wanting her to get it.
Michelle interrupted before it became BBC after dark, with Marina sharing she would make a shimmering mermaid gown and while it is a big task, she is confident in herself. And hot glue. While Scarlet was going classic Cinderella. Hannah was excited to go with something shimmering and neon, while Keta was going dark and moody, Gothy was looking forward to putting her fashion background to use to serve pastels, LGD was the polar opposite, going with futuristic shimmering gold and ugh, I love her. Arantxa meanwhile was looking forward to serving Wednesday Addams at the prom realness, opening up about how her style is missing because she never got the chance to trial as a teen girl, in honour of the woman she has always been, given she missed out on those milestones after transitioning as an adult. Tia meanwhile was going full glamour in cherry red velvet, Choriza was looking forward to another owl shitting in her eye and Jonbers was vibing on an 80s Lacroix inspired number.
Michelle then asked if the UK dolls will be sticking together, with Jonbers straight up saying they will. Sadly for her, in front of everyone. After Michelle left, Tia opened up about her design being dedicated to Cherry Valentine, given she knows that if she was still here, she would be an All Star by now. And ugh, I just want to hug her and Cherry, as the entire situation is tragic. But Tia slaying the ball in her honour is all I care about now.
Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to put the finishing touches on their looks. Except for Hannah, who felt she was done. I assume emotionally, as the gown is straight up trash, so hopefully her charm sells it. Arantxa’s look was held together with safety pins and a prayer. Scarlet obviously put being a third timer to good use, giving the dolls a pep talk to sell the garment, if nothing else. Even if their looks are mediocre.
Ru recovered enough to appear on the panel alongside Michelle, Graham and Adwoa Aboah as the dolls opened The Happy Endings Ball in their Lady Prince Charming looks. Hannah was camp as hell, giving Better Midler as Prince Charming in Shrek 2, Jonbers was a glorious plaid prancer while Arantxa was a cute Bowie. Tia gave glam Robin Hood realness, LGD was stunning in a high fashion blue suit giving the silliest faces and sound effects as she ran the railroads in Gaultier, Scarlet was a half-stripped warrior in white and Keta was a glorious knight. Gothy served a stunning twink in a little floral number, Marina was perfect as an underwater prince before Choriza gave a moody matador Dali. And yeah, it was a slay.
On the She-Vil Queens runway, Hannah cackled away in a classic black and navy gown serving nothing but drama. Jonbers was glorious in a slutty dragon look, Arantxa gave Mean Girls devil, Tia’s gown dedicated to Cherry’s promo look was perfect, emotional and ugh, she should really be proud of herself. LGD then came out as an alien queen, obviously serving wacky noises, Scarlet was green, moody and powerful, before Keta literally rode the dragon all over the runway and ugh, it was funny. And I love it. Gothy was monochromatic and glam as Daphne Guiness, Marina served Dugong realness and lets just say, it was so weird and I love it. While Choriza was smoking and purple, as the upcycled owl from Season 3. Obscuring all the views in the process.
Closing it out with their Drags to Riches Eleganza, Hannah was a total mess, though TBH, not as bad as I was expecting. Jonbers looked good in a shimmering ruffled number, Arantxa was a cute goth teen, Tia gave glamour in a gown, which honestly is above adequate and LGD was a straight up golden goddess and just give her the win now, please! Scarlet revealed her gorgeous Cinderella gown, complete with the Season 1 filter reveal, Keta was a gorgeous dame, kinda giving Narcissa Malfoy. Gothy was puffy pink perfection and damn, this is the rudemption she was looking for, and I love it. Marina was beautiful in her gown which honestly looks better made then her first look before Chroiza closed the show as the ugly step sisters, complete with dead owl in a cage.
Jonbers, Tia, Scarlet and Gothy were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised Hannah for her charm and personality, though read the final look for being ugly. Despite feeling it was a little fun. Arantxa was essentially read for not giving enough when it came to the details, though she was proud to have a chance to bully for once and ugh, I love her. LGD received wall to wall praise, obviously, because she is perfection. Keta too was absolutely beloved for giving glamour, polish and jokes, finally letting the judges see her personality. Marina once again was beloved, despite the judges feeling like the first look didn’t exactly make sense for the category. And they had no idea who Dugong was. Choriza meanwhile was praised for having all the ideas, though read for a bunch of fit issues. Particularly the last one, which was just too basic.
Ultimately Le Grand Dame and Keta Minaj were named the top two of the week, Marina and Hannah were safe, leaving Arantxa and Choriza up for elimination. Backstage the queens congratulated the top two, with Keta joking it just feels correct. Even though it is simply a fact. Keta praised all the girls for doing a good job, before Choriza and Arantxa spoke about how much it sucks to be in the bottom with their bestie. Keta caught up with Arantxa, thanking her for giving her the pattern for her dress. Arantxa spoke about how excited she is to represent the trans community, not wanting it to end. Meanwhile Choriza opened up to LGD about how she is friends with Arantxa, though knows she did better than her sister. LGD meanwhile only cared that if a UK queen lands in the bottom and deserves to go, Choriza would send the right girl home.
The safe girls were kikiing, with Scarlet hoping Choriza goes given she is more competition. Once again confirming she is the drama. Arantxa really drove home the potential UK alliance to LGD, while reiterating how close they have gotten. Choriza took her no alliance message to Keta, reiterating she has nothing to worry about. While neither doll really could tell where Keta stands, given she has an epic poker face. Or doesn’t care.
After selecting their lipsticks, Keta and Le Grand Dame took their places on the stage. As Cascada’s Everytime We Touch kicked off, it was clear LGD was desperate to jag her first win, hitting every letter, giving all the energy, drama and camp and ugh, again, I love her. How is someone that perfect also so damn stupid and weird?! While Keta was a killer lip syncer, just as she promised, Ru loves to laugh and as such, LGD rightly took out victory. And then promptly sent sweet Arantxa home. After sobbing in Choriza’s arms, that is.
She then followed the sound of my sobs backstage before I jumped into her arms. Arantxa held me for the hours it took for me to calm down, before I was finally able to spit out how proud of her I was. Despite being the second boot and robbing us of a season full of joy, Arantxa’s two episodes showed how much of a delight she is, and hopefully, earned her a spot on a future All Stars season as you know that glow up is going to be epic. And until then, we have Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries.
Credit to this delight goes to Antoni Porowski, who was brave enough to think, there isn’t enough potato if you have mash or chips, so why not combine them! And ugh, it is perfection. Particularly with a hearty kick of sour cream and chives.
Ingredients 1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries 500g russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 2cm chunks 3 tbsp unsalted butter 120g sour cream 120ml milk kosher salt and pepper, to taste 2 tbsp chives, finely sliced
Method Prep the fries as per Jud’s recipe.
While those are underway, pot the potatoes in a large pot of salted water and bring to the boil over high heat. Once rollicking, reduce slightly and boil for 10-15 minutes, or until tender. Drain and return to the pan, cover with the lid and place over the turned-off hob to steam for a minute.
Add the butter to the pan with a good whack of salt and pepper, and mash until smooth. Stir in the sour cream and milk, and return to a low heat to cook through, adjusting the seasoning as required.
To serve, dish the mash into a bowl, top with fries and a sprinkle of chives. And then, devour.
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Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls competed in the first ever Lip Sync Slay Off Extravaganza. Not to be confused with a Lip Sync LalapaRuza, which is a different thing. Just let Canada have it, ok? And since it would leave four of the dolls in the bottom and Miss Thing Golden Beaver refused to save two from the lip sync, it would be the first double boot in Canada’s Drag Race herstory. After Nearah flipped her way to the final two, she promptly defeated Aurora and opted to save her friend Denim from the bottom. Leaving Kiki to dominate the bottom three lip sync, sending Aimee and Kitten out the door back-to-back. Followed by the icon herself, Golden Beaver.
Backstage the dolls were devastated to have lost two such iconic queens in one go. Though quickly moved on when they realised that they were now in the top six. Nearah meanwhile was feeling her oats to have a win under her belt, though was still nervous about a design challenge popping in and getting her eliminated. Though trust, she wanted Denim’s help should one come up, given she can no longer rely on the Golden Beaver. Oh and then everyone read Denim for being the only winless queen, though she vowed one was coming. So it is either this week. Or she is in the bottom, because editors are icons themselves.
The next day the dolls were feeling it; exhausted and in need of a rest. Instead of getting one, Brooke dropped by and they learnt that while they would get to sit down in a mini challenge, they would still have to be in quick drag as they take sex advice calls from the audience. Melinda took it very seriously, Nearah couldn’t read, Venus was an effortless star, Denim was ridiculous, Aurora was solid and Kiki was wise and cute in equal measure. And given Venus is a consistent star, she took out victory. Oh and then they were reminded that winning isn’t everything, as this week they’d be starring in Drags to Riches: The Unauthorised Brooke Lynn HytesStory. That’s right, it is time for the rusical!
The dolls split up to listen to the numbers, with Melinda, Nearah and Denim desperate to play Baby Brooke Lynn. So they auditioned, though Nearah gave nothing given she was confident she could do anything. So Melinda got the showtune number. Venus and Kiki meanwhile fought for the Opera number, with the latter offering to take Cabaret to try something different. Aurora took out ballet era Brooke while Nearah reluctantly took the pop star style drag race era, leaving Denim with a gospel number for Brooke’s current hosting life.
With that, the cast split up to get down the lines before Brooke dropped by to check in on the dolls. Melinda was pumped to play Baby Brooke, loving the chance to show off her dance skills. Aurora meanwhile looked forward to giving the professional dancer era, despite not actually having had any training. Kiki was looking forward to having fun, while Nearah was confident in her ability to shine despite the fact she had essentially done the role last week. While Denim pretended she was excited to close the show selling modern Brooke. And Venus was feeling the pressure, but we know she is totally taking it, so who cares.
The dolls pivoted to the mainstage to meet Hollywood Jade and get the choreography down. And since Aurora got to dance alongside two ripped hotties, she slayed and lived for every moment. While Venus tried to hide her boner side of stage. Melinda meanwhile struggled with the counts, though I’m confident it is a fake out, given she had to fight for the role and mother will shine. Kiki had props and promptly struggled, while Nearah was perfect from the very beginning. And told Hollywood and the girls she could do something harder, should it be required. Venus meanwhile was busy stuck in her head as she struggled to stay still, like the roll required. And Denim was a mess. But she is cute and fun, so I feel like she will turn it out when the time comes.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls getting their blonde on as Aurora spoke about how the mini challenge was liberating, given she is quite reserved in her life. Talk obviously turned to sex, with Kiki getting dicked down once a day minimum, Venus proudly called herself a slut, while Melinda spoke about monogamy bing a construct, while Denim and Nearah spoke about finding their person and not wanting to share.
Brooke, Traci and Brad were joined by the iconic – finally – Countess Luann – finally – as From Drags to Riches premiered and closed with Melinda straight up dressed like Megan. And it is iconic and an instant slay. As are the back-up dancers showing off midriff. Aurora’s ballet era number was stunning as she served pass around party bottom, Kiki had fun despite being a mess before Nearah arrived and absolutely demolished. Venus gave all the emotion and had the judges eating out of the palm of her hand before Denim closed the show having a ball, despite being a little muted.
On the Always a Bridesmaid runway Melinda was an absolute mess in a fluff of red, which is exactly what the assignment is, so I live. Aurora was stunning as a corpse bridesmaid, or as Luann said, Ramona. Kiki gave us granny bridesmaid and was having so much fun, Nearah served southern belle in peach, Venus was perfect as a bouquet flower while Denim gave garter glam. And it was so much fun.
The judges lived for Melinda fighting to be the youngest Brooke, as she ended up giving Baby Jane iconography in the role. But they wanted her to give more on the runway. Again. Aurora received wall to wall praise, from doing perfect pointe to giving a stunning runway that was outside the box. And gave Lu a chance to tell her elegance is learned, which is important, my friend. Kiki’s look was beloved, though she was read for so many missteps during the performance, despite not letting it get to her. Nearah too received a tonne of praise, though she was cautioned to give variety. Despite taking the last role and being stuck with it. Venus was praised for having the runway of the episode, and again to quote Lu, being cool and not uncool. Oh and they lived for a riveting performance. While Denim’s creative look received universal praise, though her performance in the rusical was way too subdued as the rest of the dolls joined her for the finale.
Backstage Denim and Kiki were confident they would be bottoming this evening, though for the latter, maybe that was because Kiki was ok if she had to lip sync until the end. Denim meanwhile was annoyed that she didn’t take the role she wanted. Melinda and Nearah meanwhile weren’t sure which of them would be joining them in the bottom three, given both of them were kinda sure they were tops giving they slayed with minimal issues. Despite the judges hating Melinda’s runway.
Ultimately Nearah and Venus were sent to safety as Aurora took out her second win of the season. At the other end of the pack, Melinda’s performance once again saved her as she was sent to safety, leaving Denim and Kiki to battle it out for the final slot to Seven Day Fool by Julie Black. And, well, both dolls turned a show, as Kiki felt her oats and Denim served cutsie sex bomb. Which proved to be enough as Denim was deemed safe, leaving Kiki to sadly sashay away.
As the iconic fashion designer arrived backstage, I pulled her in for an epic hug and assured her that despite not snatching the crown, she has literally given us multiple crowning looks that will live forever in herstory. And that, is kinda cooler. Plus, she still turned a fun performance and arguable won the lip sync, so going home as a robbed goddess is always a win. As is a big, warming bowl of Chickiki Coern Soup.
Sweet and hearty, this soup contains everything you could want on a cold winters night. The chicken melts in your mouth as the rich broth washes away all your problems. Almost like a savoury banana bread, you know?
Enjoy!
Chickiki Coern Soup Serves: 6.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, finely chopped 5 garlic cloves, minced 2 celery stalks, finely chopped 1 carrot, peeled and sliced into half-moons 1 leek, thinly sliced 2 chicken breasts, diced 5 cups chicken stock 1 cup macaroni 310g can creamed corn kosher salt and pepper, to taste 1 cup baby spinach leaves, washed and sliced
Method Pop a lug of oil in a stock pot over medium heat and saute the onion, garlic, celery, carrot and leek for about 5 minutes or until soft and sweet. Add the chicken and cook, stirring, for five minutes.
Pour in the stock, pasta and creamed corn, stir well and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring infrequently for 15 minutes, or until the pasta is cooked. Season to taste.
Remove from the heat and stir through the spinach until wilted. Serve and devour, richly.
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Previously on Canada’s Drag Race 12 queens arrived in the Werk Room, ready to join what I would argue is a pretty iconic winner’s circle. And while we lost the Canadian versions of Trixie and Katya way too soon – as is tradition – it was a hard fought battle before Giselle snatched the crown, joining Icesis and what’s her name? Priyanka, in the winner’s circle. And Ra’Jah, technically. That was then and this is now, as Brooke and Co. are back and are packing a new twist. Which we will learn about later, as first we have a ball. But again, getting ahead of myself here, as we’ve got queens to meet.
First to enter Season 4 is the world’s oldest twink Venus and well, her entry look is kinda horrid, think slutty ice skater in velvet. And then, for reasons, she was forced to exit. Denim was next, serving denim anime goddess and I love everything about her. She too then exited before Kiki Coe arrived serving fashion dragon and fun fact, has made some of the best runways to appear on the show. After she bounced, Luna DuBois arrived giving first-season Lala Ri by way of Mayhem Miller, and I love it. Sisi Superstar arrived giving goth Barabarella, Melinda Verga served pride flag drunk aunt, Kitten Kaboodle arrived to rep as the oldest queen in the franchise and well, I stan, as she seems fun. Nearah Nuff served filler icon, in a Marilyn inspired look that literally fell apart, Aurora Matrix served terracotta warrior-Naomi Smalls realness and ugh, crown her now, I already stan. Then The Girlfriend Experience arrived serving stripper anime and well, I stan her too. Aimee Yonce Shannel dropped by giving red latex showgirl chic and yeah, it was a serve, TBH.
Everyone was then corralled back into the Werk Room at once, for reasons. As they sized each other up or giddily pretended they didn’t tell their besties they were on the season. We then learnt that there was only space in alcoves for three queens, instantly forming cliques with the pretty girls and designers instantly finding their friends. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled to see she wasn’t the only queen of asian descent, I assume because she can’t be a first boot like it seems to be the tradition on the mothership, but I digress.
Speaking of Ru, she dialled in to announce the arrival of Brooke who welcomed her newest daughters into the fold. With the help of Brad and Traci. They then warned the queens that there will be twists and turns all season long. The first being that they would be starring in a ball. And the first category is already done, with the entrance looks judged and delivered. Brooke, Brad and Traci all gave a rosebud to their fave looks so far with Brooke snatching Denim, Aimee beloved by Brad and Traci, for reasons, living for Venus. They then shared that the next category was Shimmering Showgirls, while they would stomp the runway in Me Myself and I, aka best drag.
After the judges left, the rosebuddies celebrated being frontrunners for the win. Though Melinda rightly called out Venus for getting one, given her look was so basic. Thankfully they didn’t fight for long, focusing on prepping for the second category. Sisi and Denim were vibing before Kitten gagged the dolls with her age and the fact she has been doing drag for longer than most of the dolls have been alive.
Aurora kicked off the second category giving geisha showgirl in all the right ways. Luna slayed given slutty Marilyn burlesque, Denim gave harlequin clown, Kitten gave polished puffy showgirl, Kiki leant into classic showgirl and lived her best life while Nearah was an orange delight. Melinda gave us a golden bodysuit, Aimee was stunning in a carnival hot pink bodysuit before Venus gave us something different in emerald green as she stripped. Sisi gave a sexy devil, as she hit her head on a lamp and fell off the couch. The Girlfriend Experience meanwhile was perfection as the Ringmaster before getting fully nude.
Backstage they finally got to dedrag with Aurora and Venus living their twink fantasy, while Kitten was hopeful she would be the mama of the group. Denim tried to make things shady, asking who the dolls think will be in the bottom tomorrow with Sisi and Nearah both admitting they were worried. The latter talking about being concerned their inner saboteur is already hard at work. While Venus and her rosebud were thrilled to slay.
Elimination Day arrived with Tegan and Sara just wandering on to set to welcome the dolls and announce themselves as guest judges and fun fact, they are sisters, not dating. That is Tatu, if anyone else forgot. Oh and Tegan and Sara’s mum is proud of them for guest judging which is cute AF, so maybe I stan. With that gag out of the way, the dolls split up to beat their mugs, with Nearah galvanized to redeem herself with the third runway. Talk turned to their pronouns before they turned their attentions to how politicized drag has become. The Girlfriend Experience opened up about being shamed by Marjorie Taylor Greene, famed thundercunt, leading to death threats and her having to close down her social media to keep herself safe. She and Denim then spoke beautifully about what they’ve gone through as trans people.
Brooke, Brad, Traci, Tegan and Sara took their places on the judges panel as Venus opened the Me Myself and I runway looking perfect as a feathered Carmen Sandieg-ho. Sisi gave Y2K goth chic, Kiki was perfect in pearls as a goddess. Lula gave Mugler CEO, Aurora was a stunning teal dragon, Nearah gave neon rocker Cyndi Lauper and Kitten was a stunning old dame. Aimee was an african queen in blue and orange, while The Girlfriend Experience looked gorgeous in beige ruffles. Melinda gave golden glam right out of Studio 54 while Denim was an udderly ridiculous clown cow.
Aurora, Aimee, Luna, Kitten and TGE were deemed safe and shipped backstage to untuck before Venus received universal praise for each and every look. And most importantly for giving diversity, polish and turning a damn show every time she hit the floor. Despite her entry look being so basic, to me. Sisi was praised for looking good not great, though read for being awkward, given they couldn’t tell if she was deliberately trying to bomb the performance in look two. Kiki was beloved for giving three stunning looks, gagging the judges with the fact she makes all her looks. Though Traci wanted her to give some life in her mug. Nearah was read for not being able to work through the fuck-ups in the first two looks, thought they loved the third look for being so damn fun. Though Brad was worried she could only sell corset. Melinda was all energy as the judges read her for not being able to sell any of her concepts, while Denim received 10s across the board.
The tops and bottoms joined the safe girls, with Venus proudly telling them she was completely beloved by the judges. Picking up that not everyone was so happy for her. Denim too was proud to receive top marks, while Kitten just assumed Kiki was a top. Sisi tried to pretend she was beloved, delighting her sisters with the fact she was having fun despite being in the bottom. Denim thanked her for being such a light in their community, no doubt assuming she would be going home. Nearah accepted she didn’t do her best, so agreed with their critiques, while Melinda was sure it would be her lip syncing with Sisi. Venus asked her to explain to the dolls why she has been struggling thus far, with Melinda sharing that her partner had a mini stroke just before she left and watching everyone rally around her was just beautiful, TBH.
Ultimately Kiki was sent to safety, followed by Nearah before Brooke announced the next gag, explaining nobody would be going home tonight and instead, the top two would be lip syncing for the win. That obviously meant Melinda and Sisi were safe, leaving Denim and Venus to battle to Feel it in My Bones by Tiësto feat. Tegan and Sara. And while the song is an absolute bop – remember, I’m a Tegan and Sara stan now, ok? – the lip sync was kinda one sided as Venus is a damn star. Denim was cute, fun and absolutely in her lane, but Venus had that fire that you just couldn’t look away from. And as such, she rightly took out the first win of the season. And I will stop bitching about the entry look.
Backstage the dolls were gagged, gooped and absolutely delighted that nobody went home, while Venus was just delighted to have been able to win the lip sync in front of Tegan and Sara themselves. Sisi and Melinda were thrilled to be safe, with Sisi now ready to redeem herself. While The Girlfriend Experience just wanted them all to lift up the seat when going to the bathroom, as she was sick of sitting on piss.
The next day Melinda appeared to be perked up after her near exit, while Venus was just proud to have done the thing. Angela Basset style. Everyone laughed about how they kinda wanted everyone to go home, while Kitten, bless, was just looking forward to improving incrementally because she is old and wise. So, mother. Brooke dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, the doll’s would host QVShe episodes, selling the best and brightest products Brooke kindly provided. Shades, ponchos, ugly flats and pocket bras. And given Brooke is messy, she let them pick their groups with TGE, Aurora and Venus forming one, Nearah, Luna and Aimee another, and Sisi, Kiki and Denim the last trio, leaving Kitten and Melinda to be the only duo. Venus then stole the bra for her group, Nearah went with the poncho, Kitten got the flats and Sisi grabbed the sunnies.
Everyone split up to work through their presentations, with Denim spiralling about having a comedy challenge in week two. Nearah and Luna were worried about Aimee having English as a second language and how they could help her shine. Melinda meanwhile was cut the dolls didn’t want them. Oh and TGE was doing the old man voice from Family Guy and just like that, the dolls had a plan. Sisi meanwhile was swinging for the fences, coming up with lots of camp ideas to stand out and work her way up, while Denim worried she was fading. Kitten and Melinda meanwhile were completely zen, being silly and planning to have fun and yes and their way through, making everyone else a little nervous. Nearah meanwhile was hating her partners, while Aimee worried they kept patronising her when she wants to be taken seriously and is this just going to be a mess?
After quickly beating their mugs the dolls went to set where Denim, Sisi and Kiki got to work selling the shit out of the shade blocker goggles. And by selling the shit out of it, they bombed within 30s and yeah, it was hard to watch. Sisi in particular, despite the fact she was cracking herself up. Melinda and Kitten were the polar opposite, giving cohesion, polish and nailing the assignment. Making all the dolls laugh and wish they didn’t assume the oldies would bomb. Venus, Aurora and The Girlfriend Experience kept things good as Venus and Aorora nailed their southern girl schtick, until The Girlfriend Experience just stopped after coming out of the gate strong. As she kept breaking and left the others to carry her. Nearah, Luna and Aimee then closed the show, bombing, try as Nearah and Aimee might.
Elimination Day arrived with Denim putting all her hopes on her runway saving her, while Kitten and Melinda were thrilled to prove themselves and singlehandedly carry the challenge. While Denim and Co hilariously owned bombing, Nearah, Luna and Aimee bickered over who was the reason for their predicament. After splitting up to beat their mugs, The Girlfriend Experience asked Kitten about the first time she saw drag, leading to a beautiful history lesson. Talk turned to terminology, with Denim and The Girlfriend Experience helping everyone make sure they aren’t offending anyone and ugh, it was sweet. Venus meanwhile asked if anyone was across the Canadian queer history with them admitting they kinda have no clue, accept for Aimee who had to learn to pass her citizenship and of course. Because if we learnt anything from Hamilton, it is that only immigrants get the job done.
Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by the current pucking reigning, Ra’Jah D O’Hara on the panel and ugh, I love her so. On the Gemstones runway, Sisi Superstar gave purple people eater come queen cosplayer. Kiki was a gloriously emerald glamazonian, Denim served iridescent bluebottle, while Kitten gave warrior queen and looked good and Melinda gave ice queen realness. Venus was a slay in a diamond encrusted bodysuit, complete with diamond headpiece. The Girlfriend Experience was a gloriously pearled ethereal beauty, Aurora was a stunning jade goddess, Luna gave slutty Tigger, Nearah gave rhinestone cowgirl who became the CEO, in red before Aimee closed the show in a shimmering sapphire gown which I can’t tell whether is good or an absolute mess.
Sisi, Kitten, Melinda, Venus, TGE and Luna were deeed the tops and bottoms of the week, though Brooke warned the safe girls some got lucky there could only be three bottoms. Sisi was praised for improving her look, though still read for being a mess. And that was before they got to the challenge, given the judges hated literally everything she did. Kitten was absolutely beloved – as she deserves – for the challenge while everyone also lived for the look. Melinda too received top marks for both portions, though Ra’Jah cautioned her to have fun on the runway. Venus’ runway was the best of the week, though the judges equally loved the character she brought to the challenge. TGE’s runway was glorious, though the judges wished she gave more presentation. While her performance in the challenge gave the judges blue balls. While Luna was read for filth for the challenge, though her runway was deemed fun.
Kitten was then announced the winner of this week’s challenge and told that as the winner, she would hold the power of the Golden Beaver which saves one of the bottoms from lip syncing. With that, they ventured backstage to untuck and loop in the other queens and let’s just say, they were gagged and ready to make lots of new friends. TGE started to breakdown about being in the bottom, leading to Venus giving her a huge peptalk. Luna meanwhile was zen about it, while Sisi admitted she was gutted to be in the bottom yet again and how triggering it was for her. Kitten then asked the dolls to pitch why they should be beavered, with TGE begging through tears. Luna was poised as she calmly spoke about needing to be here while Sisi said it was fair for her to be in the bottom and as such, shouldn’t be saved.
They returned to the mainstage were Kitten got her beaver out and promptly saved TGE, leaving Luna and Sisi to battle for the last spot. As Avril’s I’m With You kicked off both dolls leant into the emotion of the song and ugh, this is taking me back to High School. Sisi slayed the lip sync while Luna was kinda subdued, which it seems like the judges wanted, as she was saved, leaving Sisi to become the Juice Boxx of the season. While Sisi was gutted to go home so soon, I quickly pulled her in for a hug and assured her that her two episode run, specifically falling off the couch, is iconic. So taking that and the fact she is the first boot, she will always be beloved. And that was all it took to cheer her up, as we toasted an epic career with a fresh Couscousisi Superstalad.
This little number is gloriously herby and oh so sweet, swiftly putting an end to the no-friends-with-salad discourse. Though given (pearl) couscous is involved, is it really a shock?
Enjoy!
Couscousisi Superstalad Serves: 8.
Ingredients 1 ½ cups pearl couscous kosher salt and pepper, to taste ¼ cup olive oil 1 tsp Dijon mustard ½ tsp honey 1 lemon, zested and juiced ¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped 2 tbsp mint, roughly chopped 2 tbsp dill, roughly chopped ½ cup cherry tomatoes, quartered ½ cup chargrilled capsicum, roughly chopped
Method Bring a pot of salted water to the boil and once rolicking, add the couscous and cook for 10 minutes, or until tender. Drain and leave to cool slightly.
While that is on the go, combine the oil, mustard, honey, zest and juice with a good whack of salt and pepper.
Transfer the couscous to a bowl, toss through the dressing, herbs, tomatoes and chargrilled capsicum and devour. Like an icon.
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Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls put on the show as they performed in the opening and closing of the new hit rusical, Panto-she Better Don’t. The rusical. Live! And as appears to be tradition for our UK girlies, everyone was rather solid. Begging the question, was Charlie Hides right? Ginger shone brighter than everyone as a cow, while Vicki and Michael made a dynamic duo of lovers. Though it was Ginger that took out her second win of the season. Sadly there had to be a bottom two, however, and since Banksie was nervous and DeDe missed the mark due to never having seen a musical, it was them. And tragically, DeDe absolutely slaughtered the lip sync and sent our sweet Banksie home.
Backstage the dolls were in shock that it was Banksie that went home, particularly since it was so soon. Though DeDe, obviously, was just glad it was not her. She shared how the lip sync was a little cathartic, while Cara admitted that she had grown to love Banksie and as such, was heartbroken. Kate meanwhile was genuinely disappointed to see her bestie go, though pivoted and congratulated Ginger on taking out victory. She in turn spoke about her shock that she won, originally thinking she was going to be lip syncing. Vicki pretended to be happy for her, though was clearly jealous. Kate thankfully kept things moving, asking Cara and Tomara whether they regretted giving up roles to the tops and you best believe it galvanised them not to give anything up again.
The next day the dolls were feeling energised and spicy, particularly Ginger, as the first queen to be donning two badges. Which she assured her sisters was absolutely correct. They turned their attention to who had wins under their belts, with Kate trying to convince her sisters that having fun is the real win, innit. Ginger meanwhile spoke about finally understanding what it means to have nerve, and you best believe she will be keeping that in focus from now on.
Ru interrupted the kiki to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, finally, the dolls would be playing the iconique Snatch Game. So you know Kate was finally ready to score a win and leave DeDe as the sole badgeless queen. Cara, meanwhile, was absolutely terrified. The dolls immediately split up to talk through their characters with Cara wisely opting for Dionne Warwick, Kate was obviously doing her namesake Kate Bush, Ginger went with Dame Barbara Cartland, DeDe was debating between Lady C and Julia Fox, though hoping to go with the former, whether Ru gets it or not.
As she debated herself, Ru dropped by to give her dolls a peptalk with her pumped for Vicki’s Fanny Cradock, living for Ginger’s camp choice though most excited for Tomara playing Mrs. Doubtfire, giving she is just funny without even trying. Essentially the Alyssa Edwards of the UK. Cara’s choice of Dionne delighted Ru, given she is a massive fan, which obviously made Cara shit herself. Particularly when she couldn’t name more songs than her biggest hit. While Kate Butch delighted Ru with the choice of Kate Bush, despite the nerves of her being too much of a fan to have fun with it. Michael was doing a Catherine Tate character, which really made Ru nervous, given she is stuck in someone else’s bit. Though Michael assured her, she is ready for this. While DeDe was still debating, until Ru admitted he knows Lady C but bored by this Julia Fox character. Who she has never heard of.
We quickly pivoted to set where Carol Vordeman and Alexandra Burke took their places on the panel and Ginger once again came out of the gate starring, Cara was surprisingly fun, Kate was demented, Tomara was so fun and silly, despite her southern accent bombing. DeDe meanwhile was vamping it up, Vicki served smut and Michael was even hornier. While Ginger, Kate and Tomara went from strength to strength throughout the game, DeDe flatlined on her very first response while Vicki started to drown amongst her pre-prepared bits. Cara, meanwhile, was the true surprise, holding her own and looking to be having the most fun. Well, after Tomara.
Elimination Day arrived with Kate thrilled to definitely not be in the bottom, while Michael was gagged by how funny Tomara is. Ginger and Kate were feeling jubilant as they beat their mugs together, while Vicki and DeDe spoke about how badly they both bombed, fully ready to lip sync no matter how glorious their runways are. Talk turned to first times in drag with Tomara pulling out a photo and ugh, it was so bad, charming and funny, and damn, crown Tomara now, she is an icon. Gagging everyone with the fact she has been Tomara since 14!
Michael meanwhile spoke about how proud of her she is, given she is just so confident in who she is, while Michael struggled with having to keep everything on the downlow when she was younger. Cara shared that Cara was born when she was 17, while Ginger admitted she was disappointed her grandmother couldn’t see her in drag, given they had a hat game. Where they would go into a hat department, pop one on the other’s head and then they would have to make a character. Kate meanwhile got her start in uni and as such, there was nothing to worry about with her parents, given she had already moved out.
Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Alexandra on the judges panel as Tomara opened the Hearts On runway giving the sexiest cardiac nurse known to man. Though maybe she is death? Vicki gave the ultimate Queen of Hearts and worked overtime to make up for her snatch with a stunning look. Kate meanwhile cried for the sailors before revealing herself to be a pin up, Michael was stunning in a chain black heart, complete with a red hand reveal before DeDe was kinda underwhelming with hearts stuck to a corset, though making it shot with cupid’s arrows. Ginger gave anatomical heart by way of Grimace (but in a good way) before Cara closed the show serving demon heart collector.
Michael and Cara were swiftly sent to safety before Tomara received universal praise for how demented she was throughout the entirety of Snatch Game. The level of manic delighting the judges, while her perfectly stunning runway gave them levels. And yeah, a good week for Tomara. Vicki was given props for serving the look of Fanny, though read for completely bombing Snatch Game. Though they did love her runway, which does help, no? Flipping the critique, Kate’s Kate was completely beloved though her runway was universally meh’ed for being ill fitting and underwhelming. DeDe’s Lady C was read for being bland while the runway was deemed a little messy. While as has become tradition, everything that Ginger served was universally beloved.
Backstage Michael and Cara were thrilled to have been deemed safe in the most difficult challenge, while Cara was really hoping to get out of her head to finally stop coasting. The tops and bottoms joined the fun with Vicki and DeDe joking about how shite they were before going to learn the lyrics for the lip sync. Kate was thrilled to get such strong critiques, though continued to make jokes about her outfits, before Ginger shared that once again she will be taking out the win. Though more focused on the fact the judges think her outfits are a joke, when she was feeling sexy. While Tomara was thrilled that they loved her manic performance.
As everyone predicted Ginger took out her third win in a row as Tomara and Kate were sent to safety, leaving Vicki and DeDe to lip sync for the final spot to Alexandra’s own Heartbreak on Hold. And well, it is a bop and both the dolls were not ready to go home without a fight. DeDe though, was just inspired, using her chopsticks to conduct the opening and after that, she had the entire panel in the palm of her hand and while Vicki gave us consummate performer, the de-demented performance saved our scrappy underdog once again and sent Miss Vivacious home.
Vicki was heartbroken by the time I found her backstage, so I quickly pulled her in for a hug and assured her that both she and her pastie cemented a place in drag race herstory. Like, yeah, sure, that was a little hyperbolic, but you know that Vicki types generally thrive in the All Stars situation, when they have time to watch their first season and realise they have everything it takes and to just not worry so much about how they come across. And that latter part of the conversation was enough to get her vibing enough to smash a big bowl of Festivicki Frivacious.
This is one of those hodge-podge – like Vinegar – recipes where you pretty much throw all your leftovers on some fries and thrive. And given the festive season is well and truly underway, turkey, stuffing and gravy feel correct.
Method Cook everything as per their recipes, or assemble your leftovers on a bench.
To serve, divide the fries between two bowls, top with stuffing and turkey and then drizzle with gravy. And devour.
You could also add craisins, baked apples, or cheese curds if they tickle your fancy. The main thing that matters is that you put your Thanksgiving leftovers to good use and bask in the glory.
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Fame Hungry 