Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls took some erotic boudoir photos with the help of the Pit Crew. Obviously the resulting images ranged from smutty and trashy to sexy and camp, so it was a big win in my book. Ru then surprised them by announcing they were all invited to Muriel’s Wedding, and that they’d be making their own outfits to attend. Out of the bedding they just brutalised. The outfits ranged from bad to worse, with Ivory and Rita bombing badly, while Ivanna’s well constructed dress landed her in the bottom three for being unlined and unsteamed. Which seemed harsh, comparatively. Isis meanwhile took out victory as a blushing bride, while Ivory and Rita lined up to lip sync for their lives. Only Ivory fainted and it got delayed. Though I did serve her up a little treat to help perk her back up and give her a fighting chance.
The next day after Ru swatted a fly – I assume the one that came for Flor episode 1 – Rita and Ivory took their places on the stage ready for the briefly delayed execution. And as soon as Murder on the Dancefloor kicked off, it was clear our Kiwi icon had no interest in going home. She was silly, sassy and a little slutty and while she looked like she bruised her coccyx on a split, there was no denying she was winning. So despite my culinary boost, poor Ivory was sent to sashay away. Though got paid for a third episode, like a damn icon.
The rest of the dolls were sitting in the Werk Room waiting to find out who was going home and while most of them felt Ivory wouldn’t be returning, Isis felt her redemption story could just be enough to save her. While Hollywould just wanted her to stick around so they could bond enough for her to give her one of her wigs. Ru then dropped by to confirm most of their suspicions, as Rita sashayed back into the competition. And to celebrate, this week they would be starring in an Ultimate Girls Trip reunion for the Fake Housewives of Down Under, hosted by Rhys. Which immediately filled sweet Rita with dread, given she is not an actress.
Thankfully though, she got to be a team captain – alongside Isis, as the winner of the previous challenge – so could surround herself with strong queens. Isis wisely selected Gabriella first, followed by Hollywould and Ivanna, while Rita went with Bumpa, Flor – against her wishes – and was left with Ashley. Though bless, Ashley was looking forward to proving them all wrong since nobody chose her.
After Ru departed, the groups split up to work through their outlines with Team Isis feeling super confident. Particularly Gabriella, who desperately wanted the role of Shazza but when Isis asked for it instead, she pointed out that she would slay any role and as such, she was happy to just take whatever was leftover. And oh god, she is going to slay, isn’t she? Even with the character with minimal screen time. The dolls turned their attention to the other team with everyone agreeing Flor struggles to pick up on jokes and as such, improv could be a problem for her. But TBH, I am confident she is going to be one of the stars of the team. And by one of, she will shine with Bumpa. While Rita wanted the housewife recently released from prison, given it reminds her of her family, she ultimately let it go to Bumpa and took the anchor piece. Which furthers my theory Bumpa will be unstoppable.
Team Isis were first up to set with Rhys, with Gabriella a star from start to finish, while Hollywould was bland and Ivanna was forgettable. Isis was kinda solid though? In Team Rita, Flor and Bumpa were completely demented from start to finish while Ashley took chewing up the scenery literally, chewing gum and not much else. And well, Rita’s fears were sadly realised as she bombed. Bad. Though to be fair, you’d probably describe both of the scenes that way. Producers, call me if you want an interesting acting challenge next year, ok? I mean, Gaybours is right there.
Elimination Day arrived with Gabriella admitting she is feeling rather confident about taking out the win, while Rita was pretty much at peace with lip syncing. Flor felt she well and truly did enough to be safe, while Bumpa was worried she didn’t do enough. Ivanna meanwhile split the difference, completely sure she did enough to be safe, while her sisters viewed her performance as bottom worthy. The dolls split up to beat their villainous mugs, cackling through it and just being all around delights, TBH.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys – thankfully still full of jokes – were joined on the panel by Adam Lambert as Rita kicked off the Bad Girls Gone Bad Runway looking perfect as a slutty, female Riff Raff. Bumpa served ancient queen of the damned, Flor was glorious as Ezma – iconic – Ashley gave glamour Catwoman, Ivanna gave a more basic Catwoman, Isis gave Gaga in AHS Hotel and well, it was perfection. Hollywould gave the upcycled version of Bumpa’s look and Gabriella was a stunning Harley Quinn, complete with roller skating.
Ashley and Hollywould were sent to safety before Rita was read for just being safe in the challenge, despite everyone agreeing both of her looks were stunning. Bumpa meanwhile was beloved for giving a demented yet grounded performance, Flor was praised for being absolutely bonkers, despite it annoying the shit out of Michelle. Oh and then Ru mistook her saying her villain was Ezma as It’s Mine, which had her cackling. So yeah, she is definitely safe. Ivanna meanwhile was read for being safe and forgettable in the challenge, while they loved her look but wished she gave some wig. Isis was loved for all that she did, while Gabriella was ditto ten fold, given she was the clear breakout of the episode.
Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, while Hollywould was pressed given she was sure she was a top in the challenge and the best on the runway. As they speculated who would be lip syncing, the tops and bottoms rejoined them with Gabriella thrilled for her as-yet-unannounced-win, while everyone was shocked about Bumpa being in the top. Even Bumpa. Ashley was obviously pressed about it and confronted her, while Bumpa gave zero fucks, given they are both safe and just doesn’t care. Ivanna meanwhile was in her head, disappointed that she appears to be choking every time she is in front of the red light.
Ultimately Gabriella did take out the win before Bumpa, Flor and Isis were sent to safety, leaving Ivanna and Rita to battle for the final slot. And as soon as Glambert’s version of Holding Out for a Hero started, it was clear the dolls were down for a fight. Ivanna was fun and high energy while Rita was in the pocket the entire time, feeling all the emotion and hitting every letter. So despite bookending the episode in the bottom, she lived to fight another day as Ivanna was sent out the door. In eighth place. Just like Anita.
After she got off the phone to Anita, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that like Anita, she left a mark on the competition. She was upbeat and fun, and frankly a little bit robbed in Week 2, which according to my calculations, almost makes her a robbed goddess and if you land in the middle of the pack, that is better than outstaying your welcome. While that was obviously a shitty peptalk, it seemed to do enough of a trick as Ivanna was giddily happy afterwards. Though maybe that had more to do with the round after round of Ivanna Drinks I served up?
Packing a glorious punch of tart raspberry and lime, this cocktail is the perfect refreshing drink for a warm spring afternoon. Or to drown your sorrows after having your dreams crushed in a reality competition series.
Enjoy!
Ivanna Drink Serves: 1.
Ingredients lime wedges and sea salt flakes, for rim ¾ cup frozen pitted cherries ½ cup bourbon ⅓ cup fresh lime juice 2 tbsp simple syrup soda water, to top up
Method Rub a lime wedge around the rim of two old fashioned glasses and dip with sea salt.
Pop the cherries, bourbon, lime juice and syrup in a blender, and blitz on high until cherries are completely blended and you’ve got a deep red drink.
Ice the glass, pour over the cocktail and top with a dash of soda water. Then down.
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Previously on Drag Race France the dolls played le Snatch Game, which I believe is a perfect translation, despite my middling grasp of the French language. As is oft the case with the foreign seasons, I may not have been completely across the celebs they were playing, but I could tell when people were landing and tragicaly, when they weren’t (mainly due to rattlesnake cues). Moon, Keiona and Punani were the former and absolutely slayed – the latter in front of the person she was playing – while Ginger, Sara and Piche bombed. And tragically, despite winning a challenge, Piche was somehow eliminated over Ginger. I assume because she couldn’t do shit in the lip sync wearing that (killer) runway.
Backstage the dolls were feeling just as heartbroken as I was to see Piche exit so soon, with Punani toasting her for being a sickening performer, despite her shyness. Ginger meanwhile was proud of how hard she fought in the lip sync, despite the gown, though was grateful to have another chance to shine this week. Which did not bother Keiona one bit, who was ready to escalate from high to a win, finally. Everyone came together to praise Punani for an absolute breakout week and seeing her grow in confidence, despite being quieter than some of her sisters, was a delight. But when they started to shade Keiona for being high yet again, you know it was the final bit of petrol on the fire and she is ready to demolish each and every one of them. Like a damn icon.
This week the dolls played hide and seek as they returned to the Werk Room with Sara hilariously winning that too. Because she is what? A winner. The clock struck cocorico, signalling the arrival of sweet Nicky, to send them to Fort Boyard for a little mini challenge. And after a cheeky little wikipedia, I am excited. The dolls joined the zaddy Pit Crew to find keys to unlock their cock cages by dipping their hands into random crap. Cookie dipped her hand in shit – or nutella, I hope – Punani got hair, Sara squealed through thick slime, Moon got toy snakes, Ginger got the wet sponge in honour of Monet, Keiona bossed some spiky toys and Mami fingered pasta. One by one the dolls tried their keys, with Keiona coming out victorious. Winning a puffer vest which is clearly bad in France, so let the private school kids and Queen St cowboys know asap.
With that out of the way, Nicky announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would star in the rusical, Le Bossu de Notre Drag. And for winning the mini challenge, Keiona had the power to assign the roles, making her even more popular with her sisters. They sat down to listen to the musical, with all the dolls excitedly vibing with the script before coming back together for Keiona to wield her powers by letting everyone list their top three preferences and filling the roles that way. She ultimately kept the lead role of Quasimolo for herself, giving the narrator to Cookie, Boulangère to Mami and Moon got Malo. Ginger meanwhile got pressed about Sara and Punani working together – and taking a role she wanted – while Cookie sided with the quiet duo, leaving Ginger with the role that nobody wanted.
Jour d’elimination quickly arrived with everyone stressed about performing live on the mainstage, though thankfully, they felt more united amongst the chaos. As they beat their mugs, Keiona opened up about cutting her father off for being judgemental though hilariously just hoped to make him regret it now that she is a star. Punani meanwhile spoke about how her parents came around to drag when realising it is more than just dressing up. This turned conversation to the perception that it is a hypersexualised profession and how it is great that Drag Race has changed how it is viewed. Well, except in America but don’t get me started on that. Moon meanwhile spoke about how she fought to play a man in the rusical to fight against the fact she had to break out of the male coded body to finally live her truth and ugh, I love her too.
Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Barbara Butch and Juliette Armanet on the panel as the dolls put on the opening and closing night of Le Bossu de Notre Drag. And like Spain before them, it was loooooonnnnngg. Though also very good. Not Season 6 Adore vs. Courtney good, but it was good. Particularly Keiona, Cookie and Moon who were pitch perfect in each and every moment. Nicky meanwhile was crying from the panel, grateful to all of them for working so hard and delighting each and every one of them. Daphne was crying, Juliette was crying and ugh, it was beautiful to see the full cast get their roses.
On the Excess Couture runway Cookie was stunning in a little black dress with a big, pink train and ugh, did I mention it was stunning? Even if the pink looked like a scrunchie. Sara was stunning as she served seamstress chic, Keiona slayed in a stunning, voluminous, deep teal floral gown – just give her a win finally, damn it – Punani served wire hanger and a cute green gown, Ginger was wrapped in a giant belt in honour of Gaultier, Moon slayed in a camp cowgirl showerpuff number, and Mami slayed in a pastel pink, puffy bowed jumpsuit.
The judges praised everyone for slaying the runway ahead of lavishing Cookie for being absolutely stunning on the runway and a star in the rusical. Sara was praised for working so well with Punani and for giving such a creative, camp runway. Keiona was beloved for everything she did this week, from the ballroom inspired runway to getting gritty and warm in the rusical, making all of the judges truly feel something. Punani was praised for a strong performance in the rusical and for looking good on the runway, though they admitted they felt she was outshone by Sara. Ginger’s runway was beloved and while they felt she did well in the rusical, they needed her to change her makeup to avoid looking like a villain. Moon got us back to more wall to wall, overt praise; beloved for taking a risk and pulling it off. While they lived for Mami’s runway and for her being so much fun in the rusical.
Backstage the dolls were thrilled about how well received they all were this week, though unsure what it meant for the lip sync, since they were so good. As they spoke about how well cast the rusical was, Ginger spoke out and said she wasn’t happy to have been left with the dud role and as such was worried it would land her in the bottom. This fired up Cookie – who got the role she wanted – with her frankly calling her bitter as they bickered back and forth. Thankfully Keiona reminded her she was still great in the role, but was immediately shut down by the feuders to let them continue.
Ultimately Keiona rightly took out her first win of the season to the delighted applause of her sisters. Cookie, Moon, Mami and Sara were then sent to safety, leaving Punani and Ginger to lip sync for the lives. Because despite the judges agreeing the dolls were all perfect in the challenge, someone must go. Punani then said it was her second lip sync for her life, curiously, as Le dernier jour du disco by Juliette and while Punani wasn’t confident as a lip syncer, she felt each and every moment and absolutely slayed, giving all the drama. Ginger meanwhile was camp and fun, though tragically similar to last week’s performance, which was enough to save our dear Punani and send Ginger to the house. Bitch.
As she returned to the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for being such a delightful, uplifting icon. While she may not have made it as far as she would have liked, she made an impression on our hearts and I reminded her that TBH, that is all that really matters. Which was a super half-arsed peptalk, but it was also highly effective and as such, we simply toasted her run with a cool glass of Ginger Beerch.
I know, I know – why make a ginger beer when you could just by one. But honestly, you haven’t lived until you’ve had it fresh; warming and zingy, it is the perfect beverage for curing what ails ya’.
Enjoy!
Ginger Beerch Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 cups raw caster sugar 300g fresh ginger, peeled and thinly sliced 1 cup lemon juice 1L soda water ice, to serve
Method Pop the sugar and ginger in saucepan with a litre of water and cook, stirring over low heat, until the sugar has dissolved. Bring to a simmer and cook for about 20 minutes, or until a gloriously pungent syrup has formed. Strain and leave to cool.
Once the ginger is chill, pour into a jug with the lemon juice and give a good stir. Then stir in the soda water and serve over ice. With or without a sprig of mint, for extra freshness. Then down.
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Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls were paired up to make complimentary looks ready for the bingo hall out of a box of colour-themed goodies. While Sminty and Le Fil panicked about their options, they ultimately slayed – obviously – while Jonbers and Peppa went the opposite route, living for their options and concept though ultimately unable to execute their vision in time. Oh and while I felt Cheddar and Copper looked perfect as good vs evil, though Cheddar looked like a snazzy rock while Copper gave Barbarella realness. Dakota and Baby though were the clear standouts and took out the win, while Peppa and Copper were singled out as the worst of their pairs and forced to face off in the lip sync. Tragically sending Copper out of the competition.
Backstage Peppa was feeling humbled by her appearance in the bottom before she followed it up by praising her dear sister Ginger. And by Ginger, she was talking about Copper. Sminty meanwhile could get her name right, though was feeling awks to have called her an old maiden, particularly since she was heartbroken to have lost her warm presence. Cheddar felt badly to have not been in the bottom with her partner, while Danny questioned if Jonbers was just grateful that Peppa had to lip sync from their pair, essentially saying that she thinks Jonbers got bloody lucky.
Things were far more chill the next day as Dakota proudly unveiled her second badge leading to shady little Sminty questioning whether it means she is no longer Da-coaster. Before Baby could unleash on her sisters for ruining her first win in the Girl Groups challenge again, Ru arrived to lead the girls in a booty-tastic quick-drag game of Musical Chairs. Zaddy Brit Crew was brought out to adjudicate as the dolls twerked their way around the booty chairs until Danny exited first. Just as she predicted. She was followed by Cheddar, Dakota, Le Fil, Baby, Peppa and Jonbers before Pixie took out the win over Sminty. Which seemed right, given they both had cheeto dust on as foundation.
And for her troubles, she would be picking teams for this week’s Maxi Challenge where the dolls would appear in the new UK chat show Catty Man. So basically, Bossy Rossy, but hopefully with funny improv? Pixie is smart, so obviously she grabbed Cheddar and Danny, then assigned Dakota, Le Fil and Baby to Group 2 leaving Peppa, Jonbers and Sminty as the last group. After Ru departed the groups split up, de-dragged and kikied about how the groups were formed with Group 2 thinking it was all kind and fair. While Pixie admitted to her co-stars that she put the final group together knowing it is likely to bomb. Badly. They took their places around the werk room to read the overview of the scenes, with Group 1 getting a great psychic, attempted murder narrative. Group 2 would be dealing with a case of swapped tonges while Group 3 aka Group Pixie-designed-to-bomb would be confronting a catfish.
We ventured straight to set where Cheddar, Pixie and Danny were first to chat with Catty Man himself and my dear friend, Alan Carr. And well, they were perfection from start to finish. Cheddar was a camp, heartbroken, vamp, Danny was the most ridiculous psychic and having the most damn fun. And by the time Pixie arrived, pitch perfect, I don’t see how any of the other teams could top them. Insert a because they’re all bottoms joke here yourselves, please. Dakota’s fake voice was madness and had everyone, herself and Alan included, in hysterics. Baby was hilarious and charming, though more importantly, was sitting spread eagle on the chair while Le Fil was a doddering, doctor, delight. Rounding out taping, Peppa was ready to run out and get married; sweet, loved up and oh so cute, Sminty meanwhile got a bit swallowed up by the scene. Particularly once Jonbers arrived, giving sexy, stupid and so much fun. While Sminty just stayed on stage until the lights went out. Shocked and confused.
Elimination Day arrived with Sminty clearly having exited the Catty Man set and joining her sisters to prep for the runway, while Pixie and Danny spoke about who they think will win a badge out of the two of them or whether it would be a group win. Because yeah, they felt what we saw, I guess? Le Fil and Dakota meanwhile were talking about how excited they were for the runway. Dakota opened up about how important her hair was to her growing up and how nice it will be for her to pay homage to her grandmother who let her embrace her desire for long, billowing locks. Le Fil too felt like hair was so important to her, given being male is so important in her culture and that growing out her hair as an adult feels like coming into her own. Peppa meanwhile spoke to Cheddar about how she would proudly honour her blackness with braided hair, while Cheddar opened up about losing her hair after getting sick as a teen and while it led to a lot of insecurities, shaving it all off made her fully come into her own.
Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Alison Hammond as Danny kicked off The Mane Event runway looking mad as she walked the dog with her shock of red hair. But given she called her dog, Divina Dog Campo – the red dog with a silver leash, it’s a win for me. Cheddar slayed as the sexiest Cheshire Cat known to man, complete with a rainbow furball. Pixie gave the Birth of Venus and looked oh so glamorous, Dakota was stunning as she honoured her grandmother’s hair-doll curtains she destroyed growing up, Baby was sexy in an architectural gown made of dreads before Le Fil was stunning, giving all the hair we’ve collectively lost down the drain. Black Peppa was stunning in a gorgeous braided regal gown, Sminty was perfection as a sexy-moth while Jonbers was gorgeously camp as Lady Di’s step mother, though make it furkini sexy.
Dakota, Peppa and Jonbers were sent to safety before Cheddar received universal praise for the challenge and even more for the runway. Danny’s performance in the challenge was completely beloved as was her bringing glam on the runway. And well, Pixie too received top marks for all that she did this week. Because honestly, any of the three could win this. Baby meanwhile was read for letting her nerves get to her and serving only one note, though obviously they all lived for her runway despite Ru wanting it to be elevated. They felt Le Fil was a little bit flat and gave the much needed shade to the challenge (though no personal light), though they loved her filthy concept on the runway. Then poor Sminty was read for just disappearing in the challenge but damn were they in love with her runway, Mothy Kendoll, in honour of her mother.
Backstage Dakota was so grateful to be safe despite being nervous about the challenge, while Jonbers wished she was able to have been in the top. As the tops and bottoms joined the girls, Danny broke down about how much it meant to her for Ru to call her a comedy legend who was perfect. Pixie broke down about how much the judges loved her look, while Cheddar praised Pixie for doing so well in the challenge, before loading praise on Danny, which made her a little sad. Talk turned to the bottom with everyone speculating whether the fact that Sminty’s runway being the best of the night would be enough to save her from being the absolute worst in the challenge. While Baby opened about struggling with her emotions throughout the competition, though both she and Sminty vowed to give it their all in the lip sync.
Ultimately Cheddar was deemed safe before Danny took out victory – much to Pixie’s clear disappointment, despite the pride for her sister – before Pixie joined them. At the other end of the pack, Le Fil narrowly avoided lip syncing, leaving Baby and Sminty to battle it out to Mel and Kim’s Respectable, with both of the dolls absolutely slaying, giving camp, comedy and hitting every damn line. But damn, let’s just say that Baby’s attitude was unbeatable, giving all the sass before straight up stripping down to a thong. And well, like me, that was enough for Ru to give her the win, tragically eliminating Sminty from the competition.
Thankfully in the most iconic way possible, sad twerking at the door on the way out.
By the time she arrived backstage, I had fully converted myself into an old timey mobster-talent agent-esque character, telling her, “kid, you did GREAT! That exit just secured your career and made you a STAR baby.” While I quickly came back into my own, Sminty’s willingness to make fun of herself and give us a Vanjie style moment made an already delightful run completely iconic. Which is all I needed to justify toasting her success with a fresh, punchy Lemon & Sminty Drop.
This delight is actually Lady Sonja Tremont Morgan’s signature drink, but TBH, I feel like she and Sminty would be the best of friends so I am sure she is happy to share. Sharp, tart and earthy, this refreshing little drop is both celebratory and refreshing. Like the new legend, Sminty.
Enjoy!
Lemon & Sminty Drop Makes: 1.
Ingredients ½ lemon 1 sprig mint ice 1-2 shots blue raspberry vodka soda water
Method Squeeze a quarter of the lemon into a tall glass and muddle with the mint.
Fill the glass with ice, pour in the vodka and top with soda water and the remaining lemon to garish. Then, down.
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Previously on All Winners eight iconic victors of seasons past returned to the mainstage to compete for the chance to be crowned the one, true, Queen of all Queens. After kicking off the season with a killer rumix where Shea and Monet slayed in front of Cameron Diaz, the dolls backed it up with Snatch Game. And not just any Snatch Game, a double dose of Snatch, where each queen was tasked with delivering not one, but two performances. While Jinkx obviously delivered a masterclass duo of performances alongside Trinity, Raja was the surprise package and stole my heart with her hilarious turns. Ultimately though it was Jinkx and Trinity that landed in the top making Shea’s choice to block Trinity a smart one. Well, until Jinkx won the lip sync and returned the favour, blocking Shea the very next week.
Backstage Jinkx was feeling her oats post-win and ugh, I love to see it. She then explained that she blocked Shea this week because she already has a star and given Shea is that good, it is unlikely she will stumble again. And as such, they all need to do what they can. And well, everyone agreed they would have made the same decision, while Yvie would have lingered on Monet to make her shit herself. Which, lol. Shea arrived and started to play mind games with the dolls, pretending the platinum plunger comes with a special power and given Trinity is hilarious, she jumped onboard and well, again, this is the greatest season of all time.
Oh but don’t worry, Inspector Jaida is on the case and she will get all the answers for us. Whatever that means.
The next day Monet welcomed the trio of starred girls, while Trinity was a little disappointed that she should, technically, have a damn star by now. Soooo, Jaida and Trinity are the top in the ball, I’m guessing? Before I could make any more predictions, Ru arrived to play a little game of hung man with the dolls and the Pit Crew. And well, like The Viv, I’m dripping. Or in Ginger Minj speak, my basement is flooded. Jinkx took out the only puzzle with the answer of Vanna White Party. Which led into this week’s Maxi Challenge, the BALL. First category the dolls would be walking the runway in game show hostess glam for Vanna White Realness. The second category would feature Wheel of Fortune’s famous Before and After, like Diana RossMatthews. Or in my mind RuPaul Simon, because seeing that duo would be hilarious.
Closing out the ball the dolls would be rocking Realness of Fortune Eleganza. Aka a garment made from scratch with the dolls spinning a wheel to pick their inspiration city. Jinkx got the lavender fields of Provence, Shea won White Cliffs of Dover, Monet jagged the Emerald Isle, Jaida got the Black Sand Beach, Raja got Gold of the Golden Pagoda, Yvie won $500 and then $1000 before getting bankrupted before The Viv finally won money on the show, $1000 dollars, then $500 and then finally got a city with the Blue Hole of Belize before Trinity got bankrupted. This left Yvie to get the Pink City of Jaipur and Trinity getting the straggler of the Red Square of Russia.
With everyone’s colours sorted, the dolls split up to collect their supplies before The Vivienne admitted she would be playing it safe with the design. Given she doesn’t really wear blue, ever. Trinity meanwhile was slowly making a ruffle and driving everyone mad, while Monet admitted she hasn’t made a dress since the infamous sponge look. Raja meanwhile was feeling a little nervous given this is one of her strengths and she doesn’t have a fat arse blunt or two bottles of wine, which makes up her usual process. Jinkx was in a battle with the sewing machine and honestly was not feeling fortunate. That being said, she was glad to have lucked out by blocking one of the sewers and had settled for the critique of, it’s a dress. Since that would be a step up for her in design challenges. Shea meanwhile was worried how to bring a non-bridal white look, given she already served it in All Stars 5.
Ru dropped by to check in on her daughters with Jinkx outlining her strategy and admitting she is still terrible at sewing. But, she hoped to braid her way into a gown. Monet was feeling her 70s oats and ready to Survivor the competition to the crown. Jaida was ready to pull off a very technical dress, given she made her entire Season 12 wardrobe. Yvie meanwhile was trying to punk up pink, like Pink or the girl from my school that looks like Pink. Allegedly.
After Ru departed, Jaida started to worry she may have been too ambitious with her design, though doubled down on the fact she was here to cement her legacy, not rest on it. And yes, I love Jaida’s entire vibe. Oh and then everyone thirsted over Monet’s booty which, I get it as a fellow booty queen. Shea meanwhile decided to lean into bridal despite having served it once before, while Trinity was continuing to work out a full on gown and ugh, she is so damn talented. Yvie meanwhile made a seam and Raja a vagina. While Jinkx was getting into the Season 5 mindset, stressed about the mess she was in until Trinity dropped by, gave her a pep talk and some ideas and well, I love to see it.
Runway Day arrived with Jinkx perking up after a spank from Trinity before the dolls started beating their mugs. While The Viv was not impressed by any of the doll’s accent work, Trinity and Monet were doubling down on their alliance before Jinkx dropped by to shade their not-so-secret alliance. And then was promptly offered a spot in the alliance and while she didn’t sign up to an official deal, she reminded the girls that she appreciates what both of them have done for her throughout the competition. Given they didn’t get an agreement, Trinity approached Shea to see if she wanted in on the game and well, Shea was not into it either. So when Jaida approached, she outed Trinity’s approach to building an alliance, with Jaida just as disinterested in joining. But also a little confused and just wanting to do her best.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Kirby Howell-Baptiste on the panel as the dolls kicked off the Realness of Fortune Ball with their Vanna White Realness looks with Vanna White watching from the wall, stunning in a shimmering black gown and ugh, I love her. Perfection. Iconic. Again, best season ever. Jinkx was stunning, also in black, gagged to see Vanna on the runway. Shea and Monet were perfect in white, Jaida was adorable in a stunning silver gown, complete with lighting up the letters as she walked along. Raja almost died when she saw Vanna White in her perfect purple gown. Yvie was full Yvie, noticing Vanna at the very last minute while The Viv gave all peach in a velvet gown – completely unaware who Vanna was – and Trinity was a sparkling beauty, giving full pageant perfection.
On the Before and After runway, Jinkx was perfection as Whatever Happened to Baby Jane Fonda, Shea was a sexy Gold Tooth Fairy, Monet gave Bob the Drag Queen Elizabeth realness, serving neon paint in the palace. Jaida’s Bag Lady in Red was stun. Ning and ugh, I love her. Raja’s Olivia Newton-John Waters was so damn gorgeous and camp. Yvie was hilarious as Cardi Bea Arthur and ugh, it was hot and oh so golden. The Vivienne meanwhile was amazing as Princess Diana Ross before Trinity stole the show as RuPaul Charles II, which was a dandy delight.
Closing the show with their made looks, Jinkx managed to sew her gown and well, it was a gown. Which is what she wanted. Shea was a sexy New Orleans bride, Monet was having fun as a disco diva, Jaida was insanely talented, serving architectural perfection, Myanmar Golden Pagoda Raja was fucking stunning, Yvie was dramatic in blushing pink while The Vivienne was gorgeous in baby blue before Trinity too gave insane perfection in what she whipped up in a day.
The judges lived for Jinkx’s first two looks for being right in the pocket, while they were glad she was able to pull together the outfit. Which led to her praising Trinity for having her back. Shea received universal praise for the looks, whether the Vanna White look gave Vanna White or not. Monet was praised for giving fun and wit, while Jaida rightly received all the praise for everything she did, but more importantly for making the look she did in the space of a day. Raja too received universal praise for each look, despite the fact they wanted more John Waters in the middle look. Which, lies. Yvie was praised for thinking outside the box for each category while The Viv was beloved, despite not giving much Vanna like Shea. And then Trinity received top marks, bought the vowels and shut it down with each category.
As the dolls untucked Jaida was confident in her performance, though nervous given a lot of her sisters also served killer looks. The Viv was already keen for another ball while Jinkx was just thrilled to see Vanna live, in the flesh. While Yvie caught her ring in her outfit, the dolls praised Shea for giving full wedding glam while they were busy thirsting over Monet’s wig colour. Viv added some shade asking whose outfit they would want to wear, with pretty much everyone wanting to try on Raja’s though Jinkx feeling The Viv was more her vibe. They then gushed over Viv’s make-up before they were gagged to learn Jaida even made her damn boot covers. Which is ridiculous and talented. Oh and then everyone gagged Yvie given they were so proud of her for making her Cardi Bea Arthur look and well, it was too much.
Ultimately it was Trinity and Jaida who landed in the top with Trinity finally jagging a star, meaning she and Jaida are now part of a five person club. As soon as Beyonce’s Green Light kicked off though, it was very obvious that this was Jaida’s for the taking. While Trinity gave all the sex and comedy in the world, Jaida was on point from start to finish, feeling every lyric, hitting every letter and then playing air sax into a split. And yeah, no surprises that she took out the $10k and then blocked Jinkx. Because obviously.
Backstage Jaida was thrilled to have finally shine, once again asserting her dominance in design challenges. She was feeling vindicated, valedictorian and validation. The dolls congratulated Trinity for taking out her first star from two wins, which was the perfect introduction for Jinkx who joined her sisters and was once again charming and hilarious. And fine about being blocked, unless she wins this week and misses out on being the first queen to win two stars. Which totally means she is winning this week, right? As is Viv who is feeling very hungry for the win and well, let’s see if I’m right. Again, for the record.
In any event, we know that Raja will be robbed which is reassuring, only in its consistency.
The next day Jinkx arrived playing Bing Bang Bong on the ukulele and well, it was just as amazing as you’d expect. Though now we’re all going to have it in our head for days. Jaida meanwhile was being shady, pointing out Monet is the only person with a star that hasn’t been blocked. Well, until Trinity reminded her that she now has a star.
Ru dropped by to explain that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be improv-ing their way through the court show, Fairytale Justice. In two teams, the dolls would play out the cases of fairytale miscarriages of justice. And as winners of last week’s challenge, Jaida and Trinity were team captains, with Jaida going with Jinkx, Monet and Yvie while Trinity opted for Shea, Viv and were left with Raja. Team Jaida was covering the case of the three little pigs and the big bad wolf, while Team Trinity would act out Goldielocks’ break and enter at the bears’ house.
Team Jaida were all living for their roles, with Jinkx comfortable to take on any and all feedback and make her character as bizarre as possible. Because you know she is going to go for the win, despite being blocked. Over with Team Trinity, Raja was typecast as a sexy granny, while The Viv was ready to turn out her first ever improv challenge. And given she was going to turn Goldilocks into the fucken’ Chuckie girl, condragulations Viv! The one thing both teams could agree on is that their rival teams were going to turn it out.
Blow the House Down Boots was the first case to be argued with Jinkx delightfully demented, and ugh, I love it. She was vapid, she was wild and horny, and it was perfection. Yvie was the sexiest wolf on earth, Jaida was so fun and ridiculous and then Monet arrived and shut it down playing the straight guy of the scene and while it won’t give her a win, she was hella fun. Particularly when she started slapping the hell out of everyone and everything. As soon as The Vivienne skipped into the scene, it was clear she was going to land in the top. She barely uttered her first sentence before Shea started breaking with laughter. Though Shea did play a fun straight guy, Raja was a hilarious and thirsty grandmother, yelling at Michelle before Trinity arrived and was as manic and stupid as you’ve come to expect. Though it was far and away The Vivienne’s scene, as she cycled through the accents and was completely bonkers and well, it was the best.
Runway Day arrived with The Viv still running through the accents as the groups split up to talk through their performances with Raja praising The Viv standing out in their scene, despite the fact they all did so well. As everyone started to beat their mugs, Jaida was offering out Tajin shots as they kikied about their performances. Raja meanwhile spoke about not wanting to do an old lady again, while Yvie decided to not play a man again. They then got distracted by Jaida’s make-up as she was blending black and white, and joking about going on stage half baked and screaming at the judges for not giving them enough time. Oh and then Jinkx pointed out that they usually block the person that blocked the week before, so good luck to ya Jaida!
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman as Jaida absolutely slayed the Spikes on the Runway number in a Grace Jones in Mad Max style look. Jinkx gave the most glamorous echidna known to man while Monet was serving punk Valentina teas and well, it was good. Yvie served sexy scorpion, Trinity was a sexy, staked vampire, while The Viv was perfect in a light blue bodysuit with golden spikes. And it was so stunning. As was Raja’s shimmering mediaeval space warrior. Shea meanwhile was crazed in her hobble skirted purple fairy alien.
Jaida meanwhile received universal praise for all that she served this week, until Jinkx received even more praise for all that she did, and for being such a consummate professional and staying true to who she is. Monet was praised for stealing the show with her entrance, while the judges lived for her runway. They lived for Yvie’s killer runway and was praised for her commitment to the role. Trinity’s interpretation of the runway was beloved for being unexpected and they lived for how much fun Trinity is having this season. The judges had no idea what Shea’s runway was, but they lived for it and the way she made the straight guy Karen-bear role likeable. The Vivienne too received glowing, universal praise, besting even Jinkx with how much the judges lived for her and her instantly iconic runway. Obviously everyone was obsessed with Raja’s runway for the perfection it was and how well she delivered the character in the challenge, with Ru in particular living for her clear rebirth this season.
As the dolls untucked they quickly praised Yvie for looking so stunning on the runway and being so sexy in the challenge. Essentially, they were all horny for Yvie. They were also in agreement about The Vivienne in the top two this week, but weren’t sure who would be joining her because Jinkx, Raja and Yvie all got such good critiques. Which fired Raja up more than anything, given she has slayed each and every week, but has not received a star yet. Talk turned to how grateful Ru is for all of them for coming back before they decided to address the politics of blocking, with Jinkx not wanting to block someone on her team, but also not wanting to block someone without a star, narrowing down the list to Jaida and Monet. While everyone agreed that Monet, girl, The Viv is coming for you. Oh but she was in the bathroom the entire conversation, so who really knows. Jeffrey dropped backstage to kiki with the girls, saving The Viv from actually having to give an answer and well, Jeffrey is so hot, so let’s just enjoy that for all that he is.
Obviously Jinkx and The Vivienne took out victory, robbing Raja of yet another win and leaving us with a 6-way tie with one star. Since Jaida blew it for Jinkx. But whatever, because she was ready to kill Because Love is Gonna Save the Day by Whitney Houston. While The Vivienne also slayed the lip sync and gave all the attitude and emotion, I always have a soft spot for Jinkx’s brand of demented. Sadly for her though, The Viv straight up collected a xylophone from Jaida on the side of stage mid-song and played it to the beat and that was just unbeatable. As such, she took out the win and quickly blocked Monet and it was delightful as they bantered back and forth. Though me thinks Monet was well and truly fuming deep down inside.
As the dolls filed past me to return to the Werk Room, I reluctantly pulled Raja aside and told her that it was her turn. Reluctantly because she arguably should have three bloody stars already and the undisputed frontrunner, but alas, she has taken her sister Raven’s spot as the perennial bridesmaid. I pulled her in for a hug and instantly started ranting and raving about the robbery that we’ve witnessed week after week before she calmly told me that a) I was coming off a bit Tyra (Banks, thankfully) and b) she is having the best time and is just thrilled by the journey, winning be damned. While she was proud to be doing so well and to be performing to a new audience – and in HD – I handed her a big fat blunt and told her that next week WOULD be her week, otherwise I will be forced to key Ru and/or Michelle’s car. A promise I toasted to with a big ol’ jug of Boozy Rajafresca.
In an effort to push her back into the Winner’s Circle, I was inspired by one of her fellow member Aquaria but given Raja likes a tipple like me – and is of legal drinking age, I spiked it! Fresh and fruity with a nice warmth coming through with the addition of chilli (and the vodka, obvi), it is the perfect way to drink away a balmy summer evening.
Enjoy!
Boozy Rajafresca Serves: 2 dear old friends.
Ingredients 1 batch Aguaria Fresca ½ cup vodka (or more or less, depending on the size of the watermelon and how strong you’d like it) 2 tsp chilli flakes
Method Combine the Aguaria Fresca in a jug with the vodka and chilli, and give a good stir. Then down, happily.
The other option is to follow Aquaria’s recipe and just pop the vodka and chilli in the blender with everything else and then blitz. It doesn’t really matter how you get there, all that matters is the refreshment.
Previously on All Stars Ru auditioned the remaining queens to form a supergroup and collaborate with the iconic Henny. Instead of focusing on the task at hand, Gia continued to focus on the task of driving storylines and creating drama, pestering Farrah all episode and getting into her head before going on stage. Sadly Monique’s homage to Aaliyah was just as bad as Farrah’s attempt to dance landing them in the bottom, while Monet and Valentina slayed the competition. Most surprisingly, Valentina then slayed the lip sync sans mask, snatched the 10,000 doo-lahs and kicked Farrah to the kerb. Despite still loving her.
Unlike Gia.
Back in the Werk Room the queens gave her a round of ooohhhhs before Valentina explained that she eliminated Farrah as she had done poorly in both challenges and she didn’t feel it was fair to give her a third chance before Monique got a second. Which is tragically not very villainous, which is how I like her. That being said, Naomi felt it was a sign that the competition was on and she looked forward to booting some of her friends if given the chance. Latrila pivoted and congratulated Valentina for finally knowing the lyrics in a lip-sync, which annoyed Monet as she felt she also slayed and really wanted the win. Speaking of Monet, she too had selected Jasmine Masters Farrah. Things obviously went back to Gia who spoke about Farrah telling her she didn’t love her. Oh and while Gia normally brings the drama, Trinity decided to get in on the action and questioned Monet’s outfit decision for the lip sync.
The queens returned the next day to discover they would be doing a Bitchelor-Snatch Game crossover, called the Snatch Game of Love where they would each try and woo a Snatchelor while doing their celebrity impressions. Naomi was nervous about Snatch Game given her failure in Season 8, though she was feeling confident in her choice of Wendy Williams. Monet was feeling good given how she slayed in Season 10, though did admit that she also had the challenge of meeting high expectations. Latrice was hoping this season would feature less romper room fuckery as she plays Della Reese, while Manila was concerned that she has been out of the race for too long and wouldn’t live up to her Imelda Marcos from Season 3.
While Gia tried to pick up Valentina she announced that she would be playing Eartha Kitt in Snatch Game while Gia was planning to play Caitlyn Jenner. Which is conveniently who Trinity was doing, leading to a face-off between the queens with no one buying that Gia should have it because they are both trans. Thankfully Latrice broke the stand-off, deeming Trinity’s Caitlyn better than Gia’s and as such she needed to go with her back-up of Cardi B’s Insta-Celeb nail artist. Of course Gia gave a delightful parting shot, explaining that while trans playing trans would have been nice, an old white plastic bitch playing an old white plastic bitch probably made the most sense. I mean, I know there can be such thing as too much drama but damn Gia keeps things interesting.
With that we arrived at the first Snatch Game of Love panel featuring Monet as my dear Whitney Houston, Naomi as Wendy Williams, Trinity as the successful Caitlyn Jenner – another dear friend – and Valentina as Eartha Kitt vying for the love of my boyfriend Gus Kenworthy – who is almost ready to appear on this patch of cyberspace, FYI. Despite a killer Maya Angelou, Monet struggled with Whitney Houston, bombing alongside Valentina while Trinity steamrolled the competition and won Gus’ heart. Though Naomi did nail it, particularly when she fainted on the way out the door. Oh and mad props to Naomi for loving Trinity owning the competition and Valentina for referencing the greatest movie of all time, The Emperor’s New Groove.
The second panel vying for Keiynan Lonsdale’s affection featured Monique as Tiffany Haddish, Manila and Nicole Kidman’s Hours nose as my dear Barbra Streisand, Gia as Jenny Bui and Latrice as icon and my dearly departed friend Della Reese. Gia came through with enough romper room fuckery to annoy the hell of Latrice and take her out of her role, while Manila rose above the mess and slayed the competition, ultimately winning Keiynan’s heart.
Elimination Day rolled around and Monet was feeling nervous after bombing her panel, though was thankful that Gia bombed harder. On the flipside, Manila congratulated Trinity on owning the competition before they agreed that Gia would be in the bottom with one of Monet, Valentina and I’ll throw in Latrice for good measure. Clearly feeling her oats, Manila floated that while Gia will clearly be in the bottom it may actually be better to take out a threat. Out loud. In front of threats. Meanwhile Gia and Latrice met up with the former apologising for fucking up Latrice’s Snatch Game, and it really seemed genuine. Though I thought that last week.
We then got a nice little interlude hearing about Manila being married and Latrice preparing for his wedding, and finding a love note from his fiancé in his luggage and damn I am crying. Latrice is delightful and I love that she found love. Manila then admitted that she had girlfriends in High School and damn, that is a pivot. Particularly since she had sex with them, since humans are beautiful creatures. Which legit lead to Monet talking about aliens.
On the runway Ru served legs and damn, I am moister than when Gus and Keiynan arrived earlier. Monet kicked off booting the house down, channelling Manila in chanelling Nicole Kidman serving BMX bandits realness. Naomi played Malificent, Trinity slayed in leather and beads, while Valentina wore full body boots with a very bunchy patch of leather in her snatch. Monique was served a nicer version of her offensive Aaliyah outfit by channelling a crafty Red Riding Hood. Manilla owned the runway as a BDSM bunny while Gia was going for a Rhianna denim look, though it was a cringe as Britney’s. Latrice was gorgeous dripping in jewels from tit to toe.
Monet and Monique both finished safe, before Naomi was praised for her Snatch Game performance though read for not really wearing boots. Trinity received glowing praise for literally everything she did, with Ross saying her Caitlyn was one of the best snatches ever. While everyone liked her saggy-crotched outfit, her Snatch Game was panned for studying too hard on Eartha and not having fun. Manila too received praise for literally everything, while Gia’s outfit was liked while, well, we all saw her Snatch Game. Though Gus thanked her for making a difference for the trans community. And Latrice was obviously loved on the runway, though read for being unable to focus while Gia was tearing her down. Obviously Trinity and Manila snatched the win, while Gia was joined in the bottom two by Valentina.
Backstage – while Gus and Keiynan (thumb) wrestled onstage – Trinity pulled Manila aside to see if she was still thinking about taking out a threat. Manila questioned that maybe keeping Gia would be enough to turn her attitude around, and given Valentina won last week it would make sense to take out the competition. Trinity cautioned her that it would instantly make her a target and she needs to weigh up whether it was worth it, working hard to guarantee her friend’s safety. Gia and Manila caught up, with Gia admitting to being overwhelmed by competing in the competition as a trans woman. She then broke down, saying she is sick of being looked at as a man dressing as a woman and she feels like being back is dragging her back to her messier ways. Like me, Manila felt that Gia is trying to be nice and not bring anyone down, but I’m not sure if that is enough to save her.
Meanwhile Trinity pulled Valentina aside to let her know that she will be fighting to win that lip sync, as if Manila wins it is highly likely she will be sending Valentina home over the weaker Gia. Trinity and Gia caught up, with Gia congratulating her on her win and Trinity reminding Gia that no matter what, she supports and loves her. On the other side of the Werk Room Manila admitted to Valentina that she was considering sending her home, before her motives became very clear. Manila floated the idea that she would save her, if she was guaranteed safety from Valentina if the roles were reversed. This obviously pissed off Valentina, who instead opted to challenge her to fight fair and they can battle it out at the top.
In other news, despite it only being thumb wrestling and they weren’t wearing lycra, the boys looked hot as hell and I love it.
Trinity and Manila battled it out to my girl Whitney’s How Will I Know, though Manila honestly won it ten seconds in playing up the giddy, loved up young girl and it was fucking glorious. It was also glorious sitting there for the entire lip sync wondering which way Manila would opt to go when it came it eliminating. Despite her threats Manila opted to go the fair – or safest – route, eliminating Gia and keeping Valentina around to fight another day.
Gia was absolutely not here to find herself eliminated from the competition, though respected that she really didn’t do great in Snatch Game. Given I have known Gia forever – I mean, I am essentially part of the Haus of Edwards given how close I am to Alyssa, Shangie and Laganja – she was thrilled to see someone that truly got and loved her backstage. Particularly since I was packing a tray of Lygia Gunntini Fizzes.
Based off a Nigella recipe, I cut back on the lychee flavour – I find it too much, which is something I never felt I would say – to focus on the burn rather than the sweet floral flavour. But maybe that is your jam, so double the liqueur if it is.
Enjoy!
Lygia Gunntini Fizz Serves: 2.
Ingredients 60ml white rum 60ml vodka 60 ml lychee liqueur ice, to serve
1 cup soda water
2 lychees, to garnish
Method Place the white rum, vodka and liqueur in a cocktail shaker, and shake to combine.
Fill two glasses with ice and pour the liquor amongst them. Top with soda water and a lychee.
Hot damn! Another month, another season of RuPaul’s Drag Race is rolling around with All Stars 4. I mean, can you believe that it was only eight months ago that Ru and Michelle brought about the tomfoolery of a jury, leading to Shangela’s robbery after becoming the front-runner after BenDeLaCreme self-eliminated, leaving the public to question the validity of poor Trixie’s win despite the fact she is a killer queen?
Fun times.
Once again I’ve decided to serve justice for the queens of All Stars 1 and am assembling a group to help me count down to the fresh season. Because not everyone can get redemption like Latrila – werk – this season!
Given I was feeling some robbed-goddess realness, I reached out to the OG runner-up slash Miss Congeniality and one of the most negatively impacted by the teams of All Stars, my dear friend Nina Flowers. No shade to Planet Tammie, whom I love.
Neens was thrilled to final be able to drop by and get the publicity boost that comes with being on this patch of cyberspace. And to reconnect with one of her biggest fans. I mean, back when the vaseline lensed season 1 rolled around, Nina was serving bald, tattooed zaddy realness and I was here for it.
I was so obsessed in fact, that I would make her picnic lunches for us to share. With my Stuffed Zuccnina Flowers being the dish that made her most likely to reciprocate my feelings.
I used to be completely creeped out by the idea of eating zucchini flowers. No doubt left over from fearing actual zucchinis as a child. Then I decided to brave them in my pursuit of Nina owning me, and lets just say I fell in love. The delicate floral flavour mixed with lemon, chilli and cheese fried to molten perfection is, well, perfection.
Enjoy!
Stuffed Zuccnina Flowers Serves: 4.
Ingredients 12 zucchini flowers, stymens removed but baby zucchini attached
⅔ cup fresh ricotta
½ cup pecorino, grated
1 teaspoon dried chilli flakes
1 lemon, zested
1 cup cornflour
½ cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 ½ cups soda water
vegetable oil, for frying
kosher salt, for serving
Method Combine the ricotta, pecorino, chilli and lemon in a bowl, and spoon into the flowers. Lightly press the top to close and place on a lined baking sheet while you fill the rest.
Meanwhile whisk the cornflour, flour, baking powder and soda water in another bowl, and bring 2cm of oil to hot heat in a large saucepan. Once scorching, dip the flowers in the batter and place into the oil a couple at a time. Cook for a couple of minutes, flipping once, or until golden and crisp.
For some reason we are still without an official cast list, but onwards and upwards have long been my mottos – which sound hella suss when you say it like that, no? – so we will keep on trucking with our countdown to Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders with an aggressively religious name.
Given the theme is pretty much the same as Australian Survivor, I decided to continue to rub salt in the wounds of my nemesis Russell Hantz and catch-up with the first person that played him like a fiddle and laughed her way to the bank, Natalie White.
My girl Nat gets a lot of shit – mainly because of Russell’s delusion that he should have won Samoa (AmerICa ShoUlD gEt A PeRCentAgE oF ThE VotE!?) – but let’s be honest, without her he is just another flameout that can find idols.
What he, Rob and Tony have taught us, aggressive players need someone that can win people over and smooth over any issues that they may cause. While they may have dominated their losing seasons – well winning for Tony, but Trish wasn’t there – they never would have made it to the end without the calm, social nature of their eventual victors.
Oh and let’s not forget that it was Natalie who worked the Galu tribe members and got them to spill information and convinced them to blindside Erik. You can get distracted by Russell’s ego however I know that Natalie well and truly deserved her win.
Given the drama surrounding her win, Nat dropped off the radar in Survivor circles so it was such a treat to reconnect and see where her life is now … over a long tall glass of Natalie White Sangria.
Sweet, fruity and packing a boozy bunch, this is the perfect drink to share with your bestie as your wait for the latest cast release. Or to celebrate your well deserved win over Russell. Whichever you prefer.
Enjoy!
Natalie White Sangria Serves: 4-8.
Ingredients 700ml white wine ½ cup brandy ½ cup blueberries 1 apple, cored and sliced 1 orange, sliced 1 tbsp raw caster sugar soda water and ice, to serve
Method Combine the booze, fruit and sugar in a large jug and stir until the sugar is dissolved.
Top up with soda water and ice.
Down immediately.
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Hot damn has it been a busy week?! I mean, triple boots on Australian Survivor, a new celeb feud, hosting my besto AND kicking off a countdown for Survivor David vs. Goliath – it is exhausting. So exhausting that I needed to pour myself a nice tall glass of Gin.
As in, my dear friend from across the ditch Gin. Not the booze … (though I assume you can tell where this is going).
While I’ve only known Gin for a decade or so, our friendship blossomed quite quickly and we’re truly as close as two friends could ever be. You see, she was support act for Jay Brannan’s 2008 Sydney gig where I was selling the shit out of his merch and revelling in the glory of an AAA pass. Which isn’t something rare for me, obviously. But I still relish the opportunity to talk down to people and flaunt the access over gen pop.
Anyway, I was wandering the corridors for shits and giggles, stumbled into Gin backstage and we got to talking. One thing led to another, and I left the gig with a new BFF and an offer to drop by whenever I was in NZ.
Which I later learnt is pretty much a law of being Kiwi. To invite relative strangers into your home.
Thankfully I didn’t know that then, took her up and her offer and we solidified our bond as besties. Which is why she happily jumped on a plane to drop by, reconnect and split a Pear and Gin Spritz or seven.
Is this a blatant attempt to work through some of the leftover granita I had locked away in the freezer? Sure. But daaaaaamn, does it just work. A little tart, a little sweet … add in the earthiness of gin and you have a real treat.
Turns out I’m Dr. fucking Seuss now, so enjoy!
Pear and Gin Spritz Serves: 1.
Ingredients ⅔ cup Granita Berkett ½ cup soda water 1 shot gin dash of bitters
Method Place a mound of granita in a glass.
Top with soda water, gin and bitters, in that order, before downing. Gleefully.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us onInstagram,Facebook,Twitter,PinterestandTumblr.
Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, 14 new queens descended on the Werk Room. Miss Vanjie became a pop-culture icon as she backed out of the mainstage first, followed by – yep, doing this again – Kalorie, Yuhua, Dusty Ray, Mayhem, Blair, Monique, The Vixen, Monét and Cracker, leaving us with a battle royale for the crown between Texas, a Tennessee duo and the sole remaining NYC queen. Poor Asia committed the largest mass butterfly homicide on television to finish in fourth place, leaving Eureka and Kameron to battle it out with Aquaria for the crown.
Which they sadly lost, keeping the crown in NYC and returning it to the Haus of Needles. Where, TBH, it rightfully belongs.
Despite an extremely soft start in the first round of the finale, Aquaria was given a save – in my opinion – due to her slaying the mainstage competition from start to finish. Even at times when you thought she would fail – read: Snatch Game – she played to her strengths and shined bright. I mean, any hole is a goal is essentially now Melania’s motto, am I right?
I pulled Aquaria into my arms as soon as she walked off stage and praised her on her win, particularly given she didn’t push the gimmicks so far in the finale that they overwhelmed her. I held her hand high, congratulated her and then toasted her victory with a fresh Aguaria Fresca.
Fresh, zingy and totally delicious, agua fresca is the perfect drink to fill you with joy, remind you of the positives of summer – aka on a beach, not at work – and quench your thirst after slaying a competition.
Prance my queens, then enjoy!
Aguaria Fresca Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients ¼-½ seedless watermelon 3 limes, juiced ¼ cup raw caster sugar 1 cup mint leaves, roughly chopped plus extra to garnish ice cubes, to serve 4 cups soda water
Method Chuck the watermelon, lime juice, sugar and mint in a food processor and blitz until completely juiced. Sieve into a jug and place in the fridge to completely chilled.
When chill add ice and soda water to the jug and stir to combine. Serve immediately, garnished with additional mint like a victorious crown.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Roxxxy, Detox, Katya and Alaska were the final … wait a minute, this isn’t All Stars 2. Aka RuPaul’s Best Friend Race – All Stars 3 is finally getting all started and another queen will join Chad and Alaska in the dystopian wasteland known as the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
Lining up for another shot at the crown is Trixie who arrived serving Roller Barbie realness complete with her trademark dad jokes to an empty room. She was joined by my dear friend Milk, serving flatulent pinocchio Sia sexy, now with more confidence given her stratesphoric rise post being defeated by Bianca Del Rio. They were quickly joined by the bayou queen Chi Chi DeVayne who’s entire family is now completely ready, I assume in matching trash. But seriously, why hasn’t Glad sponsored her?
Thorgy Thor returned full of energy and still completely distracted and annoyed by Bob, immediately driving Chi Chi insane. Like the hair that got stuck to her face during confessionals. Back from the dead, Morgan McMichaels returned looking amazing, ready to destroy everyone and still shocking me by the fact the kindness of Chad birthed the evil of Morgs. Aja arrived like an anime character on a scooter, ready to fuck shit up … and I assume, become All Stars 3 version of Alyssa because she feels FUN. She also kinda channeled Maya Rudolph which is always a win.
The terminally delightful BenDeLaCreme returned – apparently from an extended hiatus – in an upcycled gown from her Miss Congeniality coronation, hoping to prove that you can win a crown whilst being nice. Whilst wearing a crown, Jughead style, in confession. Grab your passport because next up was Newark, LaGuardia, Kennedy Davenport, still glorious, still unable to look in a single direction. A package then arrived in the doorway which obviously meant Shangela was back back back back, back again, hoping to prove that the third time truly is the charm.
While waiting for more queens to arrive – hopefully from season 5 – the queens were surprised by Ru’s arrival welcoming them all to the competition and earn their rudemption … before dropping the bomb that a tenth queen would be entering the competition. And that queen was none other than the victor of season 1, the OG – BeBe Zahara Benet. Everyone was shocked to see a winner return, however as Ru said, she had to survive the season 1 filter so technically, this is our first time actually seeing her.
After brushing up on the All Stars rules – the girls eliminate each other – the pit crew returned to flood my basement and hand out glasses because reading is, what? Fundamental. Thorgy opened up the library with some mild shade before Chi Chi and Kennedy moderately upped the game. Then Milk dropped by and surprised me with some savage burns – Kennedy not needing to look both ways before crossing the street being my fave, obvi. Morgan was brutal, Shangela was Shangela, Trixie likened Aja to Seal, Aja was Aja but totally charming, BenDeLa called Thorgy IT and Shangie old and Queen BeBe wrapped things up by telling Morgan life already read her. Obviously BenDeLaCreme took it out, as she was by far the funniest.
Ru then announced that like last All Stars, they would be kicking things off with a Variety Show maxi-challenge and I am more than ready for someone to surprise me like Tatiana’s killer spoken word.
The queens made themselves at home in the werkroom where BeBe quickly solidified her position as the sweetest person in the world, excited to work with and learn from more girls. They then started sharing what they’d be doing at the talent show – with four essentially doing the exact same performance – before Ben and Morgan spoke about how they’d be deciding to eliminate girls. The latter, obviously, straight up admitted that if she were to win a lip sync, she would be eliminating the biggest competition which is obviously what most people will be doing … but why say that and make yourself a target? Though you do have to admit, being upfront isn’t very villainous.
The next day the queens greeted each other as they prepared for the show, with Shangie terrified that she would land in the bottom on the first episode for the third time. Morgan continued to earn her rudemption, bonding with Aja and Thorgy and showing a softer side. While on the other side of the room, DeLa spoke about how hard it was to lose season 6, and KenneChiChi mentioned they were shocked to see Aja back so soon.
With that out of the way, Ru, Michelle, Ross and Carson were joined by Vanessa Hudgens to watch the Variety Show, which kicked off with a high-energy, Sister Act-esque lip sync from Shangela. She was followed by OG BeBe who did the same performance – no shade to either of them – though with the Sister Act influence traded out with Lion King. But who cares because Camerooooooooooooooooon. Thorgy finally had the chance to bring her thorchestra to the stage and it was EVERYTHING. While it started off slow and dramatic, she upped the tempo AND DID A ONE HANDED CARTWHEEL WITH THE VIOLIN.
Well it was everything until Aja arrived to vogue the shit out of the competition, lip syncing and death dropping her way across the stage AND THEN OFF A DAMN BOX. Which I assumed Shangela had just left lying around. She was followed by Kennedy with another insanely high-octane dance number, this time culminating on a cartwheel ONTO the box. Now I saw some shade about the cast before the premiere … but damn are they shutting up the haters.
BenDeLaCreme then arrived with more nipple tassels than you could ever need, though they were not always in the right places. And damn was it hilarious. Chi Chi was up next, putting the baton in Baton Rogue, twirling it like her life depended on it. Though it didn’t appear to go down well with the judges. Nor did Morgan’s performance, who spent most of the time lip syncing to her competitors, rather than the audience … while her hair fell out. Trixie slowed things down with a country number before Milk pulled out a paper doll lip sync number which bored the hell out of Kennedy and Chi Chi, though it appeared to go down well with the audience. Though it could have just been the inclusion of the pit crew.
In any event, Trixie, BeBe, Milk and Kennedy were deemed safe before Michelle reiterated she wouldn’t try to make anyone cry or quit this year. Shangie’s performance was praised, though her look was deemed underwhelming. Thorgy’s performance was praised, though her muted energy was called into question. Aja received universal praise, particularly for being a model. As did BenDeLa. Sadly Chi Chi was read for her terrible choice of ugly jazz shoes, despite being able to do backflips in six-inch heels. Morgan was praised for looking amazing, however her nervous performance was called out. Dare I say it, her inner saboteur was the problem. Aja and Ben ended up taking out victory to lip sync for their legacy and choose who to send home from the bottom two, who ended up being Chi Chi and Morgan.
Backstage the girls discussed whether they should come to a consensus about who to eliminate, with Ben deciding they should follow All Stars 2 lead and base eliminations on the judges critiques. Which the other girls quickly pointed out, did not actually happen. They did agree to eliminate people if they loaned them an ugly bedazzled singlet. I think?
Ben and Aja each took some time out with the bottom two, with Chi Chi admitting to both that he fucked up though felt that he had far more to prove. Aja was disappointed that Morgan didn’t give her Morgan on the mainstage, and felt that she had way more to give. DeLa then spoke to Morgan about her plan to eliminate the competition, which Morgan reiterated before pointing out where Chi Chi went wrong in the challenge to try and distract DeLa from her fear of leaving Morgan in, only for her to eliminate her if she fell in the bottom.
Both Aja and Ben slayed the lip sync, the former serving thottie realness and DeLa sticking with the comedy route. DeLa ultimately prevailed, taking out the 10K tip – aka half of BeBe’s prize for season 1 – and sending Morgan McMichaels out of the competition as the first boot … to save herself if she ever landed in the bottom.
Let’s be honest, nuggets are quite possibly one of the best things invented. Little morsels of battered chicken, fried to crispy perfection and allowing more surface area to cover in sauce. I must be a biscuit, because I’m about to slop this UP.
Enjoy!
Morgan McNuggles Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 500g chicken breasts, sliced in half horizontally and into nugget sized pieces 1 cup flour 1 ½ tbsp salt 1 ½ tsp raw caster sugar ¼ tsp ground white pepper 1 tsp ground black pepper, halved ¼ tsp onion powder ½ cup soda water 1 egg ¼ cup cornflour vegetable oil, for fryin’ Sweet and Sour Sauce, for dippin’
Method Heat 1 inch of vegetable oil in a large pot on medium heat while you prep the nuggets.
Combine the flour, salt, sugar, white pepper and half the black pepper in one bowl, and whisk the soda water, egg, cornflour, onion powder and remaining black pepper in another bowl.
Dust the pieces of chicken in the dry flour mix, shake off excess, bathe in the batter, allow excess to roll off and place one in the oil to check the temp. If it sizzles nicely, add as many nuggets that fit in the pan and cook for a couple of minutes either side, or until cooked through. Remove to a paper-towel to absorb any excess oil, and repeat the process until they’re all cooked.
Devour, slathered in Sweet and Sour Sauce. Because that is the only Maccas sauce that matters.
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