Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the top four took to the stage to participate in a lip sync smackdown for the crown. With the first round battles decided by Lemon and her wheel of destiny, which doesn’t add much to the story but I think Lemon deserves her recognition. In the first face-off, Mo destroyed Baga and progressed to the top two while Blu and Juju were a far more even pairing, with the young Irish lass ultimately besting the Rob Mariano of Drag Race – conveniently, also from Boston – and eliminating Juju in third/fourth place for the FOURTH time.
Because she’s what? Consistent.
With that, the top two took their places on the stage for the final lip sync to Supernova by Kylie Minogue and while Mo promised to devour Blu, the little lass once again came ready to fight. While Mo was fierce as she felt every damn lyric and moment, Blu left everything on the mainstage, giving cute comedy and all the energy. Which proved to be enough as Blu was crowned Queen of the World.
Having dealt with me each time she has competed, Mo knows to follow the sounds of tears and screaming backstage as like Juju, I am consistent. Consistently enraged when an icon like Mo is eliminated from the competition without a crown. But as always, although she lacks a rightful crown for killer performances, I make up for in culinary comfort in the form of Articho-ke Hearts in Garlic and Wine.
Smooth, creamy, sweet and a little bit earthy, these babies are positively delicious. And the perfect accompaniment to any and all meals. Well, maybe not ALL, but they are great.
Enjoy!
Artimoke Hearts in Garlic Cream Sauce Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 4 garlic cloves, minced 4 shallots, thinly sliced 800g canned artichoke hearts, drained and cut in half ½ cup white wine ¼ cup cream ½ tsp kosher salt ¼ tsp black pepper 1 tbsp parsley finely chopped
Method Heat the olive oil in a large pan of medium heat and saute the garlic and shallots for a minute or so. Stir in the artichoke hearts and cook for a further minute before pouring in the white wine. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for a couple of minutes or until reduced.
Stir in the cream, salt, pepper and parsley and cook for a further minute before serving, greedily, either solo or as a side. The latter probably makes the most sense. Either way, devour like the icon you are.
Previously on Survivor Jeffrey was inspired by Sasha Velour by way of my girl Whitney, getting so emotional as he welcomed us back to the majestic islands of Fiji for the OG Survivor. Oh but while it is the 41st season, he warned us all to be ready – not because the winners are coming for you – as the game has evolved while in lockdown and is shorter but more dangerous than ever. The first change being that only one tribe won the first immunity challenge, with Yase and Ua attending back-to-back tribal councils with Abraham and Sara becoming the first and second boots of the new era.
We checked in with Ua the next day where the tribe was still recovering from tribal council. Brad was paranoid about how quickly JD switched things up and as such, worried he could no longer trust him. And then when he spotted JD and Ricard heading off to get water together, he obviously ran along the beach to beat them to the well and eavesdrop. After hearing them innocently speak about him for a bit, he darted back to camp where Shan was now more concerned by Brad as an ally rather than worried by JD now being calm. Shan took that information back to Ricard, with him admitting that he said nothing bad and assuring her it was all good. Oh and that Brad needs to be the next to go.
Meanwhile at Luvu, Deshawn was growing tired as he desperately continued to try and start fire for the tribe. Eventually the iconic Naseer got sick of watching on, jumped in and got the fire started in no time at all. Immediately making the tribe love him, given they would probably die without him according to Sydney, the de facto proxy for the audience. Oh and we also learnt that grew up without electricity or running water in Sri Lanka but he was always happy and damn, I couldn’t love him more at this point.
We finally checked in on Yase where Tiffany was absolutely exhausted, sharing that she would give anything for even a cup of rice. Back at camp, Xander was busy trying to finish the shelter before he pointed out that Voce had been gone a long time to Liana. With that, they suggested they split up to try and find him, with Xander putting this time to use finding the ‘Beware’ advantage, which told him to accept the risks and do everything it says, or put it back and leave it for someone else. Obviously he took the risk and learnt that he had found one third of an idol which will only gain power if the same idol is found at both of the other camps. To activate it, he simply needs to say a weird phrase and wait for the other two to say theirs at the same immunity challenge and voila, they all get idols. Sadly for him, he won’t have a vote for the rest of the game unless the other two idols are found.
Knowing it is fairly dangerous, he pulled his closest allies Evvie and Voce aside to fill them in, with Voce nervous about now being down a vote. While Evvie was more concerned about Xander’s growing power and not wanting to go to the end with men and then have their game disregarded which always seems to happen on Survivor. With that, Evvie took that information back to their true allies, Tiffany and Liana, and damn Xander, you in danger girl.
The tribes joined up with Jeffrey over the ocean for the immunity challenge where someone would dive in and retrieve a key before bringing it back to two others who would race over a series of obstacles and then swim to the end where the other two people will unlock puzzle pieces, which they obviously use to solve. Oh and in addition to immunity for the first two tribes to finish, they will also get either a massive bundle of fishing gear or just enough fishing gear.
Xander got Yase out to an early lead, though couldn’t retrieve his key on the first go giving Sydney time to take the lead for Luvu. Danny meanwhile made quick work of the obstacles for Luvu while Brad and Tiffany struggled on the balance beam. Eventually Brad made it to the end while Naseer continued to power Luvu ahead while Shan joined him in lapping Tiffany. While poor Liana waited for her turn on the obstacles for Yase, Luvu and Ua quickly worked through the puzzle before Tiffany finally made it to the end. Sadly for Yase, however, Liana couldn’t overcome the disadvantage as Erika powered through another puzzle and took out victory for Luvu while Ua took out second place, sending Yase back to tribal council.
As winners of the challenge, Luvu were given the power to send someone from Yase for a special journey, quickly sending Evvie before they learnt they could send someone from either of the remaining tribes, with Deshawn quickly volunteering to go.
Back at camp, Tiffany quickly apologised for costing the tribe so much time in the challenge though she was quietly confident that she would still be safe at tribal council, given she and the girls were planning on getting rid of Xander. Speaking of Xander, he and Voce were worried about the girls sticking together and saving Tiffany given there are no guarantees a swap will save the tribe from themselves. Knowing they were mildly screwed, Voce approached Liana to see if she would be willing to get rid of Tiffany with her quickly agreeing that after the challenge it makes sense. Sadly for him however, Liana took the information back to Tiffany and while she assured her she was safe, she was still nervous Tiffany would do something stupid and screw it up for them.
Meanwhile Evvie and Deshawn arrived on the same island as last week and they quickly bonded as they ventured to the top. Knowing Yase will be at a disadvantage come merge, Evvie got to work charming Deshawn so that they would have an ally moving forward. They then shared that there is no way they can risk their vote with tribal council coming up and as such, he can safely take the extra vote and know that they won’t screw him over if they work together moving forward. We then learnt a bit more about Deshawn, who worked hard to overcome all obstacles to become a doctor before pivoting back to Evvie’s charm offensive. They started by explaining that they plan to boot Xander over Tiffany at the upcoming tribal council before explaining in detail how the idols work this season.
Evvie returned to camp with their vote intact – you’re welcome for the extra vote, Deshawn – and quickly explained that the rules of the journey were the same as last week. They then went for a walk to the well with the girls, quickly locking in the blindside on Xander before returning to the boys and assuring them that they will join them to get rid of Tiffany. While Evvie was chatting with the boys, Tiffany was suggesting they should get rid of Voce instead, given Xander may play his idol, given she just doesn’t want to believe the situation with the idols. While Evvie calmly tried to explain the situation to her, assuring her that they read the note and it is actually powerless, Tiffany’s paranoia started to get to them, given it will be difficult to navigate around, should they stay aligned with her.
At tribal council Tiffany spoke about how disappointed in herself she was in the challenge, admitting that in the moment, she wanted the world to swallow her up. Xander spoke about how raw and exhausting it is to live the Survivor experience. Voce likened it to being in surgery and implored the tribe to find the wound and save their lives. We then learnt that his drive comes from his hardworking mother. Liana admitted that where the ‘bleeding’ Voce was talking about varies from person to person and as such, they need to find who they trust. This inspired Tiffany to remind them that challenges aren’t the only part of Survivor and as such, they need to vote with loyalty in mind. Evvie spoke about the fact the tribes could switch tomorrow and as such, strength means nothing and that is why the decisions are tough. Xander agreed that there is so much unknown and as such, there could be no switch in which case, strength becomes that much more important.
With that the tribe voted and somehow Liana and Evvie bought into Tiffany’s fear, joining her to send Voce out of the game against all odds. As he wandered into Loser Lodge, I ran into his arms and immediately started crying uncontrollably. I mean, I didn’t want any of the tribe to go, but it was still heartbreaking to lose my dear friend Voce so early. You see, we first met while working together as interns at the hospital that inspired Shonda Rhime’s to write Grey’s Anatomy and became the fastest of friends.
David is kind, wise, calm and most importantly, is a total babe and as such, I was absolutely shook to see him go so soon. But after catching up and splitting a David Voce de Leche and Pumpkin Cake, everything seemed right with the world again.
I feel like I say it a lot, but Milk Bar is the greatest place on earth and every damn recipe is near perfection. Tragically, there isn’t any down under and as such, I need to try my best to recreate their cakes. And well, this one is pretty damn great! Earthy, sweet and oh so moist, this is the perfect way to mark a shocking early boot.
Enjoy!
David Voce de Leche and Pumpkin Cake Serves: 2 dear friends or 16 normal people.
Ingredients 140g unsalted butter at room temperature 275g raw caster sugar 60g muscovado sugar 3 large eggs, at room temperature 110g buttermilk 75g grapeseed oil 1 tbsp vanilla extract 225g flour 1 tsp baking powder 1 ½ tsp kosher salt 2 tsp cinnamon ½ cup butterscotch chips 240g white chocolate 25g light corn syrup, warmed to soften 55g double cream, cold as possible 75g pumpkin puree 60g milk powder 1 tbsp cornstarch 55g unsalted butter, melted 1 cup Dulce de Nick Lachey ⅓ cup milk
Method Preheat the oven to 180C and line a quarter sheet pan with baking paper.
Combine the 115g butter , 250g of the caster sugar and the muscovado sugar in the bowl of the stand mixer and cream on medium speed for about three minutes, or until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides and return to the mixer on low for a further minute before adding the eggs one at a time, allowing to mix for a further minute between each addition. Scrape down the side, crank to medium and beat for a further few minutes or until delicate and light.
Whisk the buttermilk, oil and vanilla in a jug and with the mixer on its lowest speed, slowly pour the buttermilk mixture in until it is all in and just combined. Scrape down the sides once again and then beat on high for five minutes or until homogeneous and airy.
Combine 185g of flour with the baking baking powder, 1 ½ teaspoons of cinnamon and a teaspoon of salt in a bowl. Fold the mixture through the wet ingredients before returning to the stand mixer on low for a minute or two, or until it is just coming together. Remove and fold through the butterscotch chips.
Pour into the lined sheet pan, smooth out the top and transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour, or until the cake is cooked through. Transfer to a wire rack to cool for half an hour before turning out and cooling completely.
Reduce the oven to 120C.
While the cake gets chill, combine 150g of white chocolate and 25g of butter in a microwave-safe bowl and gently melt in 15-second bursts, stirring after each go until velvety and smooth. Transfer to a blender or food processor and blitz while adding the corn syrup in a steady stream.
Once combined, add the heavy cream as the blender is still going until it comes together. It may look curdled for a bit, but it will come back together. Finally blend in the pumpkin puree, half a teaspoon of salt and the remaining cinnamon. Transfer to a bowl, cover and pop in the fridge to chill for a few hours.
Combine the 40g of the milk powder, the cornstarch and the remaining flour, caster sugar and salt in a bowl. Add the melted butter and mix with your hands – or a spatula if it is too hot – until it starts to come together into large clumps. Spread them out on a lined baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes, or until dry and sandy.
Melt the remaining white chocolate and leave to cool slightly.
Transfer the crumbs to a medium bowl and toss with the remaining milk powder and white chocolate for five minutes or until the clumps firm with the chocolate. Transfer to a baking sheet to set completely.
To assemble, cut the sheet cake into two 20cm circles and leave to the side. Using a 20cm cake ring lined with acetate, press the remaining cake crumbs into the base and soak with a third of the milk. Top with a third of the ganache, some crumbs followed by half of the dulce de leche.
Top with one of the discs of cake and repeat the process with the milk, ganache, crumb and ganache. Top with the remaining disc of cake, follow with the remaining milk and ganache before decorating with the remaining crumbs.
Cover, transfer to the freezer to set for a couple of hours.
When ready to eat, remove from the fridge, take out of the ring and acetate and leave to come to temperature for half an hour or so before devouring, joyously.
Previously on Drag Race UK, we were once again blown away by the talent, goopery and charm of 12 Bwitish dolls. None more so than Bimini, who is well on their way to becoming the drag Oprah or Beyonce, in my not-at-all-humble opinion. While I am a ride or die Bimini stan, all the queen’s bing, bang, bonged their way into my hearts and somehow pulled off an even better season than the first. Meaning this new batch of dolls have a lot to live up to if they want to join The Vivienne and Lawrence in the iconic pantheon of UK winners.
Speaking of which, first up was our tragically fallen Season 2 queen, Veronica Green who was green around the gills but thankfully no longer COVID stricken and ready to slay in full. And even mocking her drag race for being dead boring. She was quickly joined by Kitty Scott-Claus who has the greatest drag name of all time and I absolute live for her. Kitty is lyf, Kitty is love, she is the moment – I LIVE. Just as I wondered whether she was the second coming of Chez, she goes and mentions they work together and ugh, I love the girls. River Medway arrived, apparently full of shit and I love her too. Despite not being well known which is exactly how she likes it, given she will be underestimated.
Scarlett Harlett arrived and immediately slayed my heart, calling the Werk Room a piece of shit and well, she is a power twink and I want to borrow the flanno. We also have a lot in common. And by that, a passion for being bred. Vanity Milan arrived as a technicolour delight, charming, energetic and so happy. Second best drag name, Ella Vaday, arrived in full fembot realness, a West End babe and again, I love her. Choriza May was up next with the best entry line of all time and well, shut it down and give her the damn crown. I mean, her fave part about Newcastle is her boyfriend’s dick – what more is there to love?
Our first AFAB queen arrived in the form of Victoria Scone and ugh, I love her too. She is a little nerdy, so excited and well, has a strong vagina and that alone is why you should love her. She is grabbing the opportunity by the flaps, after all. They were joined by little twink Elektra Fence who got her name from literally touching an electric fence and falling in shit. So, wait for it, again, I love her. Next up was the delightfully cartoonish Anubis who is wacky and wild and well, she is just perfect. Krystal Versace was up next and is the poster of what kids that grew up with visibility look like, she is fierce, confident and I feel proud of her, for some odd, old-man reason. And then rounding out the cast is the demented and devilish Charity Kase and well I love her, for the murdered Maria Antoinette realness she served.
The dolls were interrupted mid-kiki by Mama Ru who arrived to officially welcome them to the competition … with a game of dirty charades. And well, given Choriza has no idea what that is, she is thrilled to participate. First up were Kitty, Ella, Chorizo and Scarlett with nobody getting Kitty trying to sign ‘booty’ before Choriza gagged everyone by getting it right. She then got the next point as well and damn, I’m so proud. River, Vanity, Elektra and Veronica were up next and well, Veronica struggled but honestly, she had the hardest clue. Anubis, Charity, Krystal and Victoria rounded out the game, and well Victoria slayed it, having Ru in hysterics from start to finish.
With that out of the way, Ru tasked the queens with bringing two runways to help the judges to get to know them. One explaining why they are the queen of their hometowns and the other dedicated to something they love. As the dolls de-dragged, Ella was falling over, Kitty was getting her wet titties slapped, Anubis was checking whether Victoria was comfortable and Krystal was going through her plastic surgery. River meanwhile opened up to Vanity about her supportive mother who tragically passed away from COVID, sharing that she would be wearing one of her mother’s outfits and ugh, I’m crying. River is life.
Elimination Day arrived, with the queens quickly splitting up to beat their mugs. Veronica opened up to Kitty about not needing to prove herself this time, which has taken a weight off her shoulders. Vanity and Choriza opened up to each other about their partners, with the latter talking about how lonely she has been during the pandemic as her boyfriend works away and coming into the competition made her feel so good by simply being around others. And then all the kumbaya was shattered as my love Kitty asked who people thought would be going home, with Victoria more nervous about proving herself as the first AFAB queen.
On the Queen of Your Hometown runway, Victoria slayed as a bloomin’ sunflower. Kitty was a chocolate cheerleader, Ella was a camp, mod delight and Anubis was gorgeous as a Brighton carnival ride. River slayed as a statue with a traffic cone on her head doing the same pose, having the judges – and me – in absolute hysterics. I mean, iconic, charming – RIVER IS MY FAVE. Krystal was a gorgeous, garden delight, looking like baby Raven, Veronica was killer in cotton while Scarlett slayed dotted in pearls, Elektra served coal miner realness, Vanity slayed in a Jamaican inspired, frilly delight, Choriza looked like Kita Mean in her All Blacks look and Charity was a stunning, demented rose.
On the My Favourite Things runway, Victoria scone was an iconic high tea, complete with a dropped sandwich. Kitty served ABBA realness, Ella was a vision in a patchwork of pride, Anubis was wacky as a squid, River was a disco diva, Krsytal was the glow-up of Gothy’s 50P face-paint, Veronica was a bright, delight in honour of video games, Scarlett too was dedicated to music, this time in a cheeky mini. Elektra Fence marked her birthday, jacked up on sugar in the most demented, demonic way possible. Vanity honoured Estonia, Chorizo was a bright pop-art delight while Charity was horrifically polished in honour of freak shows.
Ultimately Kitty, Ella, Veronica, Vanity, Chorizo and Charity were sent to safety before Victoria received universal praise for everything she brought to the runway. Anubis meanwhile was praised for her hometown look, though the favourite things runway was read for filth for being basic and a little sub par. River’s statue walk was loved by the judges, despite them not understanding WHY she was being so funny. Sadly though, her second outfit was deemed underwhelming, though Ru freely admitted that had she added her now signature pose, she would have been safe. Krstal meanwhile received universal praise for both looks while Scarlett was praised for selling two vastly different looks. While poor Elektra was read for not going far enough in the hometown look, though praised for being wacky in the second runway.
Meanwhile the safe girls were glad to be safe, though Vanity was looking forward to topping soon. Apparently. Charity was a bit disappointed to not be in the top, though glad to be safe. Talk turned to the tops and bottoms, with them speculating Scarlett would be in the bottom while Victoria would definitely be in the top. Speaking of which, the girls arrived with Scarlett talking about how much the judges lived for Victoria. The girls asked Scarlett what the judges felt about her, with them gagged that she was clearly in the top. With Charity going so far as to call her basic. Elektra felt she got the worst critiques while River just wasn’t sure who would be safe out of the three of them. Poor Anubis broke down, disappointed that she couldn’t explain her sea animal look to the judges, given it was a dedication to her dad since the last time she saw him, they went to an aquarium. Which is heartbreaking and I love her.
The queens returned to the mainstage where Ru announced that the top two queens would be lip syncing for victory in addition to the bottom two lip syncing for their lives. Scarlett however was not one of them, with Victoria and Krystal first up to battle for the win to Total Eclipse of the Heart by Queen Bonnie Tyler. But more importantly, I just got the pun of Victoria’s name. It was a battle from the very first bars as Krystal served killer, sexy lip sync while Victoria was a hilarious icon, chucking sandwiches and stripping off platters before falling to her knees. Ultimately though, it was Krystal that took out the first win of the season while poor Victoria looked like she was holding back tears.
The trio of bottoms were next up with River’s charm and personality enough to save her from the lip sync, leaving Anubis and Elektra to battle it out to Little Mix’s ‘Sweet Melody’. Anubis gave camp, glamour and hit every lyric, however that was tragically not enough compared to Elektra who straight up bounced and flipped around the stage, hitting every letter and serving all the emotion in the most demented way possible. As such, she saved herself and poor Anubis found herself following in Gothy and Joe Black’s footsteps.
Thankfully Boris Johnson was compelled to let me in – blackmail, what blackmail? – so I was able to be there for my dear friend Anubis in her time of need. I first met Anubis down in Brighton – aka the kiss of death for a UK queen – and was blown away from her talent and charm. And as you know, when I sniff out talent, I immediately hitch my wagon to them and vow to be their bestest friend ever. Meaning I felt it was only appropriate to pull Anubis in for a hug, remind her how damn talented she is and give her a big batch of Choc, Malt and Pecanubiscuits to celebrate her success.
Sticky, sweet and oh so perfect, these Donna Hay inspired numbers are the perfect way to dull the first boot pain. The crunch warms your heart, the gooey chocolate soothes your soul and the milo is well, milo. So buckle in and eat up!
Enjoy!
Choc, Malt and Pecanubiscuits Serves: 6.
Ingredients 200g unsalted butter, melted and cooled 1 cup muscovado sugar ¾ cup raw caster sugar 2 eggs, 1 separated 1 tbsp vanilla extract ¼ tsp baking powder ½ tsp bicarb soda 1 tsp water 2 cups flour ¾ cup malt powder (aka Milo) ¼ tsp kosher salt 200g dark chocolate, roughly chopped
Method Preheat the oven to 160C.
Beat butter and sugars in a stand mixer for 5-10 minutes, or until sandy. Add a whole egg plus the extra yolk with the vanilla extract and beat on high for two minutes.
Meanwhile combine baking powder, bicarb and water in a little bowl and fold through the wet ingredients with the flour, malt powder and salt. Return to the mixer and beat on low until just combined.
Remove from the mixer and fold through the chocolate and pecans.
Roll ¼ cup dollops of batter into balls and flatten on a lined baking sheet, leaving plenty of space for the inevitable spread. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.
Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens returned from their seven month COVID hiatus. Yes, SEVEN. MONTHS. In which time Tayce and A’Whora lived together and Ellie had to work the drive through to make ends meet. Tragically poor Veronica contracted COVID (in addition to her previous case of rat-bite fever) meaning we were down a cast member leading to Joe being voted to return to the competition to complete the second girl group for RuRuVision song contest. And as you would no doubt now have stuck in your head, let’s just say BING BANG BONG both groups were amazing. Though the United Kingdolls killed the show and snatched victory. Over on the other team, Tia was deemed too regional, while Joe made jokes about H&M, leading to an epic Ru rant before Joe was eliminated first. Again.
Backstage the girls were well and truly shook about Joe’s second departure, with Tayce in particular shocked by the fact she kind of just gave up in the lip sync. Tia meanwhile was feeling her oats to be the first lip sync assassin in the UK. Obviously that didn’t last long as talk turned to Ru’s epic H&M tirade, with the safe girls particularly surprised that it was bad enough to require an apology on the runway. Sister opted to get shady and pointed out that Tia got the worst critiques from Ru, with Lawrence stepping in to point out she also was told to step it up and given she compiled A’Whora’s ideas, glass houses etc. Pretty much.
Oh and then the editors spoiled that Bimini wins the episode, given she counted herself as winning two challenges with all the other tallies correct. So congratulations, you icon.
The next day Bimini indeed entered the Werk Room with only one badge, before congratulating Lawrence on snagging three wins in a row. While Tayce just wanted her to share the love around from now on. Ellie meanwhile opted to keep things interesting and asked Tia how exactly she plans to up her game on the runway and when the answer didn’t really say much, things got fiery. Thankfully they were interrupted by Ru who arrived to announce that this week’s Maxi Challenge they will be playing the iconique tiara, Snatch Game.
Much to everyone’s delight.
The queens all split up to talk through their characters with Ellie giving off her best Vicky Pollard, while Lawrence gave out advice like she was the second coming of Ru. Bimini meanwhile was making jokes about A’Whora and Tayce’s past before the latter opened up about being terrified of Snatch Game, though that she was confident in her choice of playing Kath herself, Jane Turner. Ru joined the fray to chat through their choices, with Tia bravely telling Ru that she will be bringing it on the runway from now on before announcing she’d be playing Shirley Bassey in the game. Someone she has never done before. Leading to Ru talking her into playing Mel B instead. Ellie was sticking with Vicky Pollard as she spent her childhood bouncing off her twin brother playing the role. This led to Ellie having a wee bit of a breakdown thinking about how important her brother is to her and ugh, I love them all.
Lawrence had Ru smiling before even sitting down at the table before sharing she’d be playing Miriam Margoles. And then had Ru in stitches, leading me to believe she will slay but since the editors spoiled us, we know she doesn’t slay enough for victory. Speaking of said victory, Bimini dropped by to announce she will be playing the iconic Katie Price – who I hooked up with Peter Andre – and ugh, it makes all the sense now. A’Whora meanwhile will be playing Louie Spence and while I don’t know him, he sounds glorious. Not so glorious is A’Whora getting in her head, breaking down about her insecurities and ugh, I love the broken hearted little villainess.
Oh and then Sister apparently never got to chat to Ru or tell us what she was doing.
Thankfully we cut straight to the Snatch Game set featuring Michelle Visage and THE GC herself, Gemma Collins where we learnt Sister would be playing Psychic Sally. Sadly she didn’t tell Tia that changing to Mel B would be a bad idea because as much as I love her, her Mel B was scarily devoid of spice. See what I did there? On the flipside, Tayce was killing the game from the start and immediately made the upcoming Down Under girls question their choices of playing Kath Day-Knight.
While Tayce was good though, it was Bimini’s challenge from the opening seconds giving one liners, dedicated impersonation and had me in absolute hysterics. Speaking of dedicated impersonation, Lawrence was committed to honouring Miriam but completely devoid of comedy. Rounding out the gang, A’Whora was camp and charming, Sister was fun and Ellie was aggressive and confusing. Oh and then Tayce set herself up to yell at Ru for calling her chooky and ugh, give her the damn crown.
Elimination Day arrived with Lawrence and Tia feeling pretty shit about themselves after bombing Snatch Game, particularly since the former is a comedy queen and the latter is yet to score a win. Lawrence opened up about feeling the need to always be strong for her community and hiding behind a mask, with Tia – of course – reminding her that she is worth it and allowed to feel things. Tayce meanwhile checked in with Ellie and her breakdown the day before, with Ellie sharing how much her brother’s support has meant to her and how it got him through a difficult childhood when he was kicked out of home by her father. Until gag of the season, Ellie’s mum turned around and kicked out Ellie’s dad instead when he gave her an ultimatum.
Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Jesse Ware to witness the Prehistoric Drag runway where A’Whora opened the show in a full on corset of bones complete with fur and ugh, it is amazing. Tayce meanwhile was stunning as a voodoo priestess complete with guttural screams. Sister looked like Peg Bundy if she was on The Flintstones but with Patsy Stone’s wig, Tia showed body – finally – as a slutty pterodactyl. With a baseball cap like she is Boston Rob. Oh and then Bimini was GORGEOUS as the sexiest, floating bacteria and I think this is the moment we will look back on as when we realised Bimini was winning this season. Poor Lawrence had to follow the ultimate slay giving Roseanne as Peg Bundy in The Flintstones before Ellie gave straight up Pebbles Flintstone.
Ultimately Sister and Ellie were sent to safety, leaving the other girls to be critiqued. A’Whora kicked off the show with the judges admitting that the choice of Louie Spence was brave but that they weren’t sure if it paid off. They did love her outfit though. Tayce meanwhile received universal praise for her Snatch Game, with the judges loving how much fun she was clearly having. And while they loved her runway and the fact she gave something different, Ru clocked her hip pads and you could see the moment she thought Ru was going to yell at her.
Poor Tia was read for being one note on Snatch Game and for giving a sub par outfit, despite finally showing body. This led to Tia breaking down about not proving herself to Ru and damn, I hate to see. Next up Bimini received universal praise for literally everything, from Katie’s wisp, the hilarious one liners and the white-eyed amoeba runway, which is head and shoulders above everything else that has ever appeared on the runway. Oh and then Lawrence, she had the judges laughing when they went to her which only made her performance crueler, given it was a total bomb. Lawrence then started to sob as the judges praised her charisma, with her sharing she built up that persona to survive childhood and it is honestly so relatable.
Backstage Ellie and Sister were congratulating each other on surviving the hardest challenge before the tops and bottoms joined them. Tayce and Bimini were clearly thrilled with their critiques, while Tia was bitterly disappointed to clearly be in the bottom again. Talk turned to Lawrence who immediately started to cry again, struggling to accept that she bombed a challenge. Much to A’Whora’s chagrin, who was annoyed that Lawrence is falling apart at the first sign of weakness.
Obviously Bimini took out her victory not just because of the editors spoiling it at the top of the episode but because I watched her absolutely destroy everyone all episode. Tayce was rightly sent to safety, while A’Whora was gagged to join her, leaving frontrunner Lawrence to lip sync for her life against Tia to Touch Me by Cathy Dennis. And oh girl, did Lawrence light a fire under herself. Serving comedy as she hit every lyric, she commanded your attention and while Tia once again slayed and showed off her legs, she was no match for the triple winner as Lawrence sent her from the competition.
Backstage I pulled Tia in for a massive hug and assured her that while she wasn’t able to take out a win, she truly won people’s hearts and as such, is destined for greatness on All Stars. I mean, she was fun, friendly and gave a hell of a confessional. AND kept her hair the same during the lockdown for continuity when Sister Sister literally replaced her entire face. She is the moment (as is Sister, TBH). As such, I toasted her killer, memorable run with a batch of Tia Biscoffi Donuts.
Biscoff is the new nutella in that we’re all eating it out of the jar like it’s peanut butter – the OG, of course – and injecting it into any and all foods. Specifically donuts like this, which are, in a word, amazing. Like Tia.
Enjoy!
Tia Biscoffi Donut Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 150g water 500g flour 60g raw caster sugar, plus extra for coatin’ 7g dried yeast 4 eggs 4 tsp cinnamon 2 tsp kosher salt 125g unsalted butter softened sunflower oil, for fryin’ 2 cups Biscoff spread, for fillin’ 200g white chocolate 15 Biscoff cookies, for decoratin’
Method Combine the water, flour, sugar, yeast, egg, salt and a teaspoon of cinnamon in the bowl of a stand mixer and best on medium-low speed for about 10 minutes, or until a ball forms. Still going, add the butter in 25g chunks and mix until well combined before adding the next portion. Once everything is in, keep it mixing for about 5 minutes or until smooth and springy when touched.
Transfer to an oiled bowl and cover with cling, and leave to prove for 2-3 hours or until doubled in size. Punch back the dough, return to the bowl, recover with cling and transfer to the fridge to rest overnight.
When it is chilled and well proven – and you’ve had a nice rest – divide the dough into 16 equal portions, roll into balls and place on a lined baking sheet. Leave to prove one final time for a couple of hours, or until doubled.
Combine the rest of the cinnamon in a bowl with about ½ cup of raw caster sugar.
Once they have puffed, place a pot of 15cm of oil over medium high heat and bring to 180C. When the oil is hot enough, cook the doughnuts a couple at a time for a few minutes before flipping and cooking for a further few minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Toss through the cinnamon sugar and transfer to a wire rack while you repeat the process.
Melt the white chocolate, either in a double boiler or in the microwave and allow to cool slightly. Transfer the Biscoff into a piping bag and pipe a couple of tablespoons into the centre of each donut, dip them in the white chocolate and then top with a biscuit and serve immediately and devour, joyously.
Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens sang for their lives in Rats! the Rusical. As is becoming tradition, Ginny was bonkers, while week one’s victor Asttina was flat, Tia was hilarious and Veronica emerged as a star. Cherry’s nerves got the better of her while Lawrence was able to power through her’s. Ultimately Veronica took out a very, very well deserved win – that runway, swoon – before Cherry and Tayce battled in the most unexpected lip sync to Memory. And oh God, did they serve emotion. While they both had me covered in goosebumps, one of them had to go as Cherry exited the competition.
The queens ventured backstage, praising Cherry and the emotion of the lip sync, which was so emotive Tayce vowed to never lip sync again. And to not go anywhere. Sister and A’Whora got the group talking on the overwhelming emotions of the day, with A’Whora softening and talking about how you never know what someone else is struggling with and how it is starting to throw her. Tia meanwhile was just thrilled to be whittling down the girls and making it one step further. Finally the queens praised Veronica on slaying the challenge, with her admitting that she is glad she spoke up because if she didn’t, she may have been the one going home. Meanwhile Ellie shared that she now has her eyes on Veronica and vowed to take her out.
We then got a montage of Ellie, Lawrence and Tayce talking about how this will be their week, begging the question, are they our top or bottom three tonight?
The queens returned to the Werk Room the next day, congratulating themselves on making the top ten before they were quickly interrupted by Ru for this week’s mini challenge to go as low as possible. In a quick drag carnivale, limbo battle to the sounds of Jodie Harsh. Soooo, there was not much actual limbo going on, particularly for Ginny who just walked right under it. But then Ru started to lower the bar and while Lawrence was hilarious, Ellie showed full bush, Tia was demented and Bimini looked like a showgirl, Asttina could actually limbo. Until she couldn’t, handing joint victory to Tayce and Veronica.
Despite normally being granted some sort of power, everyone was a winner in the end as Ru told the queens to pair up with their best judy for the next Maxi Challenge. Sister Sister and Ginny Lemon got together, Veronica went with Tia, Tayce and A’Whora continued their blossoming romance, Asttina and Bimini aligned while the Scots, Lawrence and Ellie, banded together. They then learnt that they would be competing against their partner, to design the best outfit out of matching coloured boxes. Oh and then we learnt that Veronica and Tayce did win an advantage, that being the power to divide the colours amongst the queens. Against Michelle’s preference, Veronica snatched green, Tayce gave herself and A’Whora black, Veronica gave pink to Ginny and Sister while Tayce gave blue to Asttina and Bimini, leaving gold for Lawrence and Ellie.
The duos disappeared to de-drag and prepare, with A’Whora very confident in her skills, given she went to the leading design school in the country. Sister too was feeling confident, given she has fun with her sewing machine. Her partner Ginny however wasn’t as thrilled, given her skills go as far making a pillowcase. As everyone delved into their boxes, the were delighted to discover a bunch of sequinseses, sparkles, pleathers and TBH, this is a very fair challenge. Sister was semi-erect at the thought of going against Coco Chanel’s advice and throwing everything at her outfit until it looks presentable. Ellie meanwhile was worried about how she would narrow down what fabric to use while Lawrence hoped to snag a win by leaning on her costume making experience, since she has been doing it since she was a wee lass of ten.
Tia meanwhile acknowledged that she is that queen that doesn’t know how to sew, while Veronica was quickly sketching up another glorious gown. Tayce too was on struggle street as A’Whora continued to go against her delightful villain instincts, giving her a pep talk and some advice on how to test out her designs.
Ru made his return to chat to the queens, with Ginny and Sister both committing to stick with their brands while Ru tried to get Ginny to step out of her comfort zone and serve sexy. Which she vowed to do, for Ru. Bimini and Asttina on the flipside were planning to serve body, with the latter going anime school girl realness. While Bimini was planning to go as a well dressed stripper. Minus balloons, as Ru advised. Lawrence and Ellie meanwhile were super confident, before talk turned to how little girls are paid in Scotland and the sexual tension between A’Whora and Tayce. So, tackling all the important issues really. Veronica continued to be super happy and confident, while Tia continued to be confident in the fact nobody expects her to look good and as such, can only impress. Despite having zero sewing skills. Finally Ru dropped by the burgeoning lovers, with A’Whora going full fashion while Tayce was sticking to her jacket gown. And questioned whether Lawrence would know sexual tension if it punched her in the face.
After Ru dropped the bomb that there would only be tops and bottoms this week, Veronica started to spiral about potentially sending her bestie home. With Tia telling her to get over it and do what she does best because they will always be friends. And gah, I love them. Not fearing going home, however, was Asttina who was very confident in her anime look and was swanning about the Werk Room and given they keep showing it, I am worried for her safety tonight.
We returned to Sister and Ginny chatting about how happy they are with their box before Ginny opened up about her drag character’s penchant for yellow, given it is the non-binary colour. They then had a beautiful conversation about Ginny’s journey to knowing and loving herself, and ugh, I wish Ginny saw what everyone else sees in her. Bimini dropped by to make sure she was ok, bonding over their experience of being non-binary, allowing Ginny to share more about their difficult upbringing and Bimini giving her a much needed pep talk and a big old bom-boulash-hug.
As everyone else continued to work on their outfits, to varying levels of success, Tayce made a sleeve. Until she realised she hadn’t, given there were no openings. Thankfully A’Whora continued her Miss Congeniality campaign and stepped in to save the day. Veronica meanwhile was powering ahead before getting distracted by Tia who completely scrapped her plans and decided to start again with a completely new concept. Which is a bit eeeek for my liking.
Elimination Day rolled around with Asttina still feeling super confident, given some of the other girls’ looks were a total mess. She then decided her look was pretty perfect and as such, was just going to stop there while Bimini suggested that maybe she should embellish it. Sister Sister meanwhile was helping Ginny sex it up with some padding as A’Whora shared that she was overwhelmed by the pressure given she was blacklisted from the design industry because she is a drag queen. Tayce on the flipside was living for her pinned together garment, given she found a loophole to the challenge.
Oh and Tia, well, um, she is just ready to lip sync as she knows it is coming.
On the mainstage, Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by the gorgeous Jourdan Dunn before the duos got to work. Tayce completely sold her architectural Malificent number but proved no match for A’Whora’s head to toe puffy delight. Ginny was hilariously glam as a suburban sexpot while Sister slayed in a tonal ruched number. Veronica was well put together though got lucky to be facing off against Tia, who looked far better than she gave herself credit for. Asttina looked good, albeit very basic while Bimini was stunning in a full fashion moment, serving a tonne of arse. Ellie was glorious in gold while Lawrence stunned in a dramatic gown.
Ultimately A’Whora, Sister Sister, Veronica, Bimini and Lawrence were the winners of each duo, though I’d argue Ellie easily could have won. Which is exactly what her partner did, claiming her first victory of the season. And a glorious RuPeter badge. With that the tops left – a sentence I always hate writing – leaving the bottoms to be critiqued, with the judges praising Tayce for looking stunning and essentially said, she is only here because someone from each pair had to be.They lived for Ginny’s sexpot persona and her ability to put herself into the look, despite the details kind of lacking. Ginny then shared that she struggles with all the compliments she is receiving in the competition, given she has always been made to feel worthless and urgh, I just want to hug her.
Tia meanwhile got to work charming the judges, knowing that is the only way she can save herself. Michelle praised her for having a perfectly beat face before Ru and Jourdan suggested she should be a model, leading to her breaking down about not feeling beautiful like Tayce. Asttina was read for being basic and mixing her influences, with the judges unsure what the point of her outfit is. She too started to break down after Ru suggested she is better than that outfit, sharing that she joined the competition to challenge herself and she hates letting them down. And Ellie? Well the judges thought she was stunning and only landed here because some had to.
Backstage the winners praised Lawrence on her first victory, while Lawrence admitted that she was shocked to win against someone as talented as A’Whora. A’Whora then started to get down on herself, with Veronica suggesting that she could have won if she didn’t focus on pulling together Tayce’s look for her too. Veronica continued to be shady, asking who they think will land in the bottom with the queens all agreeing Tia. And A’Whora going one step further and full-blown willing her out of the competition, given she is bored of her and is sick of sickening people leaving over her.
This irked Veronica who yelled at her for being mean about Tia and saying that she is sickening and deserves to be here. Right on cue, the bottoms arrived with Tia in tears over continuing to get in her own way in the competition. She then shared that she feels like people are just waiting for her to go home. Bimini encouraged her to keep going and get out of her head before talk turned to Ginny’s sexy look, which some girls loved and Tayce hated. Asttina was disappointed to have missed the mark, though vowed to turn it out if she lands in the bottom two. Filling Tia with even more fear.
The queens returned to the mainstage with Tayce and Ellie quickly joining the tops in safety before Ginny was saved by her willingness to take a risk but stay on brand (and deliver some design, in the design challenge). Leaving Asttina to put her money where her mouth is with a terrified Tia to Dua Lipa’s Don’t Start Now. And oh girl, did they fight. Asttina literally kicked things off, flipping around the stage and selling the song while Tia lent into her comedy skills, having the judges in stitches from start to finish. They then finished with a bit of a duet and ugh, I don’t want either of them to go. But sadly someone has to, as Ru gagged everyone, saving Tia and sending Asttina from the competition as she praised Tia on slaying the performance as the queens and Jourdan all sobbed.
Backstage Asttina was well and truly heartbroken to have been eliminated from the competition, though was grateful she at least had a moment to shine in week one. Controversial jackets be damned. With that we laughed and hugged each other – something we’d soon be questioning as the pandemic started to spread – as we toasted her success the only way I know how. By filling my gob with pillowy buns, in the form of some Astdinner Mandrollas.
Dinner rolls are arguably the only reason to venture to a large scale event or a buffet. Soft, fluffy bread covered in a delicately golden crust, these baby rolls are the perfect size for tricking your brain into the fact you’ve eaten less than you have. While also acting as a perfect butter receptacle.
Enjoy!
Astdinner Mandrollas
Serves: 2 dear, zaddy friends.
Ingredients 1 cup milk, warmed to about 42C. 7g dried yeast 2 tbsp raw caster sugar, divided 1 large egg 60g unsalted butter, cut into cubes and left to soften at room temp 1 tsp kosher salt 400g bread flour
Method To prepare the dough, whisk the milk, yeast and half the sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and leave to get frothy for about five minutes. Using the dough hook attachment, mix in the remaining sugar, egg, butter, salt and half the flour by hand. Pop the hook into the mixer and beat on medium until it comes together in a ball. If it is too wet, add more flour ¼ of a cup at a time until you have a soft, easy to manage dough. Not too sticky, not too dry and well, I know you can find the right balance for you.
Once the consistency is right, need for a further couple of minutes before transferring to a lightly oiled bowl, cover with cling and leave to prove for a couple of hours, or until doubled in size.
Punch back the dough and divide into 16 portions. Shape into dinner rolls formation and pop on a lined baking sheet, leaving plenty of room for additional rising. Once done, cover with cling and leave for said rise for a further hour.
Preheat the oven to 180C.
Once proved, pop the rolls in the oven to bake for about 20 minutes, or until lightly golden and puffed. Then serve still warmed, slathered in glorious butter.
Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens were tasked with making over their mums and sisters, with Cheryl read for being basic, Baga reading her mum for being old and blind. Divina and her sister meanwhile turned it out – power of three – taking out the win, while Baga and Cheryl fought valiantly, with the latter finally bottoming out of the competition.
The final three returned to the Werk Room positively over the moon to make it to the end thought admitted to missing Cheryl. With Baga opting to toast to Cheryl by imitating her accent. The Vivienne praised her for being so charming and kind and was glad to get to know her better. Baga was thrilled to make it to the end with the others, admitting that lip syncing has put a fire under her. Which Divina jumped on, mocking them for bottoming when she has never had to lip sync for her life. The trio praised the performances of their families, with Baga issuing a statement to apologise to her mother and forgive her.
Oh and all three of them are rightly confident in themselves taking out victory.
The next day the trio returned to the Werk Room, still buzzing to have made it to the end. After admiring their matching collection of badges, Baga threw some shade at Divina before Ru arrived to announce that the final three would be put to the test writing verses on the ru-mix of his hit single Rocket To The Moon and performing it live on the mainstage in front of the judges in full Strictly Come Dancing cos-play. Oh and then appearing on a podcast and lip syncing for the crown. You know, something lowkey and casual.
The trio split up to write their lyrics, with Baga inspired by Gaga to be a little bit serious and have a message. Oh and she is nervous about the choreography. The Vivienne admitted that she is terribly nervous, given this is pretty much the girl group challenge which was her only weakness.
Baga was first to join Ru and Michelle on the podcast, admitting she was just hoping to make it to the third week. Things quickly got serious when Baga explained why she has a difficult relationship with her mum, having grown up with her nan and not really having the same connections others would. She spoke about hiding behind comedy and thanked Ru for giving her the polish she needed to go out and take over the damn world. With Ru and Michelle sharing how much they love her.
Divina was next, positively jubilant, sharing that she visualised getting this far. Ru praised that she made it this far because she works hard and is talented before Divina admitted she struggled with her need to be perfect and how the show helped her get over that. She spoke about letting The Vivienne get into her head but explained that they moved passed it and she knows that she shouldn’t have been distracted by Viv not noticing her growth. Divina spoke about working hard for her mum, husband and ultimately, audience and damn I love her. Particularly since her one question was to ask for the crown.
Rounding out the chats was The Vivienne, with her giving Ru some dialect training before talk turned to her journey with sobriety and how falling into her K-hole made her life harder. Then she travelled overseas for work and didn’t touch anything and started to find herself, ultimately finding herself and snagging herself a fiance. The Vivienne praised Ru and Michelle for embracing the UK style of drag and doing them justice before praising her sisters for being sickening performers.
The group ventured off to learn the choreography with Curtis and AJ Pritchard with Divina serving Katya flex, doing the splits and showing her skills while the others were terrified. As Baga struggled through the choreography, The Vivienne vowed to never do Dancing with the Stars … until their dance partners arrived and all our basements flooded in unison. Baga was tasked with a tango dance break and she was shitting herself like she was Scaredy Kat. Divina was given the cha cha and well, she completely slayed the choreography, complete with partnered cartwheel. The Vivienne meanwhile got the samba and worked her arse off to get the steps down and redeem her performance in the girl group challenge.
Coronation Day finally arrived with the girls excited to get ready for their final performance. Talk turned to the worst outfit of the season, with everyone crowning Vinegar’s paper look as the absolute worst. Divina was proud of everything she has achieved in the competition, while Baga admitted that she is shocked by how hard it was but thrilled that she got to show a different side of herself. Meanwhile The Vivienne knew she would do well, but still felt like top three is a dream. The trio admitted that they’re thrilled to be standing at the end together and most importantly, couldn’t tell who the biggest competition is.
On the mainstage the trio positively killed their performance with Baga working through her nerves and hitting every move, serving comedy and nailing her verse. Divina served acrobatic moves and proved why she is adam star as she was splitting over the stage while hitting every damn note. And well The Vivienne, did she make-up for the girl group challenge. Rocking out every step and running every note with ease.
On the Final Three Eleganza Extravaganza runway Baga served Rose Nyland realness, despite going for a Marilyn inspired mint number as she soaked up her final turn on the runway. Divina served Union Jack realness with gloriously warm make-up, which you know is going to thrill Michelle. Finally The Vivienne arrived in a glorious champagne coloured sequined realness and well, this look truly sends the message that she is here to take out the win.
The judges praised Baga’s performance throughout the season and loved her ability to inject comedy into everything she does. Oh and apparently she missed some steps, but I didn’t notice. Maybe because I’m not a dancer? The judges loved everything Divina did in the challenge and praised her for exceeding their already high expectations. But Michelle didn’t praise the make-up, which shocked me. By the time it came to The Vivienne, the judges continued their glowing praise telling Viv that she proved without a doubt that she is a complete star. Dancing be damned.
Ru then grabbed the baby pics and got the girls to give their younger selves some advice with Baga reminding herself to work through the pain and know that life gets better and you’re going to be a damn star. And it is important to show your emotions and to maybe cut down on the ciggies and booze. Divina told herself to remember to not take on anyone else’s problems and to try and relax and enjoy the moments. While The Vivienne spoke about how great her family is and while you may make the wrong decisions throughout your life, focus on what you want to do and work hard to get there.
And rounding out the panel, Baga was asked why she deserves to win over the other two with her avoiding the questioning by praising her sisters and admitting to just be thrilled to make it this far. Divina meanwhile spoke about her wealth of talent and how she hasn’t really faltered throughout the show. And The Vivienne spoke about how strong of a queen she is and more importantly, she is personable and able to be a strong ambassador for the show and make others feel good about themselves.
Backstage the girls were gagged to see the eliminated queens who quickly praised them for making it to the end, before Sum Ting announced they would be deciding the top two. Which was a lie, but let’s focus on how cute they all are? The queens praised Vinegar for not being hodge podge, Baga spoke about missing Cheryl, with Chez admitting that she is proud of them and knew they deserved to make the end over her. The Vivienne asked whether everyone felt they deserved their eliminations, with Gothy sad she didn’t get to show off more while Scaredy was still ok with the performance given it was her first gig. Crystal admitted to being jealous she wasn’t still competing before Blu brought some shade, telling Baga she should have gone given she wasn’t prepared to lip sync. Before getting genuine and telling them that they inspire her and she is so proud of them and Crystal echoed the sentiment, telling them that if they have any doubts about their star power they need to get over it because they’re amazing.
When the trio returned to the mainstage, Ru gagged them all by announcing that only two of them would be lip syncing for the crown with Baga sadly being eliminated in third place. While poor Baga had to suffer the indignity of being pushed to stage right (or left, I don’t know which side is which, thanks GPS) despite a killer run in the competition, she was proud to have made it to third place. And thrilled to see me sneak up behind her side of stage and pull her aside to catch-up while The Viv and Divina battled it out. We laughed, we cried and we had a very very good time reconnecting and toasting to her killer run on the show. While smashing a big ol’ Baga Chipz.
I know, I know – it is far easier to buy your own chips but when they taste this good, you soon find they are worth the effort. Fun fact, these chips are so damn crunchy that Ru had to stop the music and yell at us to stop eating like they were masks to our Valentinas.
Enjoy!
Baga Chipz Serves: 4.
Ingredients 5 potatoes, washed and dried 1 tbsp kosher salt flakes, plus extra for seasoning vegetable oil, for fryin’
Method Using a mandolin, slice the potatoes wafer thin – about 2-3mm – and place in a bowl of iced water. Once they’re all done, drain and rinse and return to the bowl with fresh water and the salt. Leave them to soak for an hour or so. Drain, rinse and drain again.
When you’re ready to go, get oil heating in a large saucepan until it comes to 180C. In batches, fry the slices until they’re golden before draining on paper towels. Repeat until all the potato is done.
Season with salt and devour, in a baga or not, I don’t mind.
Previously on Survivor South Africa Laetitia had well and truly had it, officially after the tribe banded together to humiliate Steffi on her way out the door. And boy was it fun watching her go all scorched earth. First she pulled Rob aside and threw Nicole straight under the bus, pointing out that she was planning to blindside him before he won immunity. Which obviously led to a patented infuriating Nicole speech. Sadly when Rob won final immunity, Nicole was claiming it as a victory of her own. At tribal council Laeitita continued to scalp Nicole and while she did an impeccable job of guaranteeing Nicole doesn’t win the game, she proved to Rob and Durao that she was the real threat and as such, found herself becoming the final juror.
The final three awoke on Day 39 laughing about how they got there, mocking Nicole’s penchant for lying and Durao’s confusion, and honestly it just isn’t cute and I am over it. Give the money to Laetitia and our pre-jury Queen Tania. Nicole laughed about how – wait for it – epic the final tribal council will be when she fights back at everyone that comes for her impeccable social game. Particularly Steffi, who she anticipates will be out for blood. To her credit though, she plans to explain her lies and how they differ from her lie about being virtuous. Rob was less nervous, knowing that he is clearly the frontrunner while Durao planned to see himself as the victor because he protected Rob the entire time. Which is a feather in Rob’s cap, not his.
Given it seems like a forgone conclusion, we pivoted immediately to final tribal council where Jacques kicked off the proceedings, letting Durao know he made the merge being respected but tonight sits here with 0 shot at winning. Which is 100% true, so let’s pause it right there and celebrate – and I use the term loosely – our third place finisher. Despite starting out strong and full of hope, when he came into Rob’s orbit, he simply became his number and all hope was lost. Making him the first Mariano – don’t fact check me – to not win the game. Which is a shame requiring a big bowl of Bunnão Chouzo Mariano to distract from the pain.
Despite what the name bunny chow would have you believe, it does not contain bunny and it is actually delicious. I mean, it is a curry served in a cob loaf. Need I say more?
Enjoy!
Bunnão Chouzo Mariano Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 2 onions, diced 10 garlic cloves, minced 5cm piece ginger, grated 4 bay leaves 2 small cinnamon sticks 1 tbsp ground turmeric 1⁄4 cup garam masala 800g crushed tomatoes 1kg lamb shoulder, diced 2 tbsp kosher salt 3 potatoes, peeled and diced 2 cups chicken stock 1 cob loaf coriander, to serve
Method Heat the oil in a large dutch oven and sweat the onions, garlic and ginger for a few minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the bay leaves, cinnamon, turmeric and garam masala and cook for a minute before stirring in the crushed tomatoes. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes.
Add the lamb and salt, and stir to coat. Simmer for a further 15 minutes, or until cooked through. Add the potatoes and chicken stock, bring to the boil again, reduce heat to low and simmer for 45 minutes.
To serve, carve out the centre of the cob and fill with the curry and top with a sprinkling of coriander. And devour, eating away your feelings.
Previously on Survivor South Africa, Jacques found the Ta’alo hidden immunity idol with an assist from Cobus – who I should mention, is also a total babe – though neither of them really need it as everyone in the tribe is sick of Tania and her drama. Though damn she is good TV. Over at Laumei, Rocco and Laetitia had formed a tight bond, which forced Mmaba, Rose-Lee, Mike, and Geoffrey to form their own tight bond to get rid of both of them ASAP. Sa’ula returned to tribal council and despite Nathan continuing to fall apart physically, the tribe opted to take out a flakey Paul instead and keep my gaggle of thirst traps around for another week.
Back at camp Sa’ula were coming to terms with tribal council, Nathan thankful that he didn’t quit and that the tribe see his value. Seipei was thrilled about the blindside and to have gotten rid of the people she didn’t like, before Steffi welcomed her into the alliance and hot damn I need this five to go to the end together because they are adorable and seem to legit like each other.
Cut to me ranting about a boring pagonging when they never turn on each other.
Over at Ta’alo Jacques pulled Ting Ting aside under the cover of darkness to show her his bag of tricks, complete with extra vote and hidden immunity idol. More importantly, Jacques in night vision is hot … or I am super horny whenever I watch Survivor SA?
The next day we checked in with Laumei where Mike was lamenting about the pain of the incessant rain, with Laetitia agreeing that it is fucked and her bones click no matter what. Mike then pivoted to complaining about the lack of food and the rancid smell of their camp before the sun came out and everyone’s mood started to lift. Though Rocco had his shirt off, so maybe that was what made them happy. Goeff and Mmaba went for a walk with him filling Mmaba in about Rocco’s plans for an all boys alliance. Which didn’t really bother her, given she feels pretty confident in her allies. Speaking of which, she approached Rose-Lee to catch her up and confirm their alliance. While they agreed Laetitia needs to be the first out, Rose_lee started to feel nervous because she is way down at the bottom of her current alliance which TBH, just sounds like the paranoia of a tribe that need to go to tribal and see where things lie.
Over at Sa’ula Seipei got to work braiding Nathan’s hair before deciding that the reason for their losing streak was the dead weight that they’ve voted out, and now that they’re united they will be unstoppable. And again, I love them and seeing them happy makes me happy. Wait, no, Paul took the idol and flint with him when he was voted out and now they’re sad. So you know how I feel about that. We returned to Ta’alo where Tania was reminiscing about being dominated by Steffi at the previous challenge, before going on a long monologue about how impulsive she is to Ting Ting. Which I don’t think will win her any allies. Thankfully it was interrupted by Cobus and Dante walking back into camp – hopefully as a couple – who announced that they were heading to a reward challenge, which led to a debate about who should and shouldn’t participate in the challenge, which only made people more annoyed by Tania as she couldn’t read the damn room. This lead to Dante telling us that he’d rather win reward and get food than win immunity because as Cobus said last week, flint for Tania is a good trade. The boys got together to lock in a vote against Tania, however Cobus was adamant that they split votes which made Jacques nervous about losing his ally Ting Ting or outing his idol.
My boy Nico finally arrived for the aforementioned challenge – which turns out is for immunity – where the tribes were required to race through a muddy obstacle course to collect their flag before the other tribe. First tribe to three wins immunity and a tonne of comfort items … with the losers battling out in a sudden death challenge for the second immunity and a measly tarp and flint. First up were Nathan and Rob vs. Durao and Mike vs. Dante and Cobus, and with half of them in speedos while getting muddied up, I would say I am the true winner. Despite Nathan and Rob scoring the first point. Rocco defeated Seipei and Jacques for a point for Laumei. Steffi and Nicole dominated Felix and Meryl, and Laetitia and Geoffrey giving Sa’ula a two, one, nothing lead over the other tribes, despite breaking the chain holding them together. Rob and Nathan then secured the first victory of the season for Sa’ula, bringing the tribe to tears and yes, I may have cried with them. Whatevs. That left Rocco to face off against Dante for the remaining immunity and hot damn, can’t they just mud wrestle instead? In any event Rocco snatched victory by mere seconds, making Dante sad. I assume because he doesn’t have a mirror to see how hot he looks covered in mud. After a brief deliberation, Sa’ula decided to send Tania to the Island of Secrets, assuming that she is in trouble. Which given the fact they all joked about voting her out the next night, seems like they made the right choice.
Back at Sa’ula the tribe were jubilant to have broken their losing streak and have a couch and a fire making kit, meaning that they can finally eat. They then spoke about Tania being grateful to have been sent to the Island of Secrets and all felt like it was a turning point for their game. They then frolicked in the water and my heart fills warmed. Meanwhile over at Laumei the tribe were thrilled about their comparatively crappy victory, thanking Rocco for just snatching the win. He then did his victory dance and TBH, I don’t understand why people don’t love this sexy goober. Finally we dropped by the losing camp, where they were still grateful despite the loss because they at least get some peace and quiet with Tania out of the camp. The group then agreed that they need to get rid of Tania, though Ting Ting grew paranoid about what they will do should she have immunity after her jaunt to the island. The boys then tasked her with going to Tania when she returns to find out whether she had any luck at the Island of Secrets. Speaking of lucky, Cobus looks delightful in his speedo and we should all count ourselves lucky.
As lucky as say, Tania, who is living her best life on the Island of Secrets before even discovering the note bequeathing her the choice of going back to camp the next day and going to tribal council with her tribe – aka certain doom – or chill out by herself an extra day before picking which tribe she goes to when they swap. Given she isn’t an idiot, she opted to stay and felt so grateful that Sa’ula managed to breath life into her terminal game. Speaking of Sa’ula Rob decided to make fire without the kit they just won in the previous challenge to prove to his dad that he was worth his time showing him how to make fire. They then feasted on their first hot meal of the season and felt renewed.
The next day we returned to Ta’alo where the tribe was still blissfully unaware about Tania not returning for tribal council, and speculated how best to identify whether she snagged herself an advantage. How sweetly naive they all sound! Everyone still pushed for Ting Ting to be the decoy vote as far as Tania is concerned and while Cobus assured her that they won’t screw her, she and Jacques seemed super wary. Ting Ting approached him about moving his advantages to his bag, rather than burying them in the jungle where they can get lost. Before we get any resolution, Meryl arrived with treemail announcing that Tania has ditched tribal council and honestly, you can see the fear in each of their eyes no matter who you pause it on. Everyone awkwardly sat in silence before Felix and Cobus rallied to switch the vote to Ting Ting instead. Jacques and Dante spoke about whether there were any other options and when Jacques didn’t get the answer he liked, he decided that he and Ting Ting will idol out Cobus instead. And then Jacques will channel Luke and wear Cobus’ dry clothes the next day. Cobus and Ting Ting then caught up by the shore, with Ting Ting pushing him to leave his bag back at camp to help Jacques’ cause.
At tribal council – where Cobus was wearing his bag – Meryl spoke about how great the tribe felt without Tania, before being kicked in the nuts this morning upon discovering that Tania managed to avoid tribal council. Everyone agreed with her before Nico, bless, threw shade at them, reminding them they should expect the unexpected. Felix spoke about the importance of keeping the tribe strong, with Meryl admitting that that makes her and Ting Ting vulnerable. Ting Ting argued that her drive to keep going and to play the game is an asset to the tribe, immediately making everyone nervous about her getting any further. Cobus mentioned that he will vote on strength, Dante said that whoever is going home tonight is aware of it before Nico asked to be looped in. Felix said that it was Ting Ting, leading to Nico questioning whether she has truly done whatever she can to save herself. With that, the tribe voted and despite his promise back at camp, Jacques to instead play his idol for himself, saving an unwitting Cobus and sending Ting Ting out of the game.
Oh poor Ting Ting, not only was she Jacques’ collateral damage but she also got straight up the first worst recipe this season. And I am not even going to pretend it is good as you head to the kitchen to whip up some BilTing-Tong.
I mean, sure, you may like biltong. But, yeah, even a connoisseur of meat like myself can’t bring myself to endorse it. Unless I’m super drunk and chugging a beer. Salty and chewy it works perfectly in that exact moment, otherwise it taste like balls. And not in a good way.
Enjoy!
BilTing-Tong Serves: 1 very drunk person, or 10 normal people.
Method Combine the spices in a jar and give a good shake.
Sprinkle on the base of a glass jar and layer with beef strips. Sprinkle with more spices and follow with more strips, alternating until both are used up.
Hang up to dry somewhere with decent airflow, though away from bugs and pets.
Once crispy, devour and apologise to Ting-Ting for giving such an icon a terrible recipe.
Despite the fact that she is slaying the award season game with her film debut, my dear friend Lady Gaga will always be the scrappy little recording artist that could. While I irrationally hated Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta from the first moment I saw her, I am so grateful that Tony Bennett was able to talk sense into me and allow the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I mean, 100 of my fellow celebrities had told me that I would love Gaga’s sweet, creative soul but it took just one to get through to me and for that, I will always be grateful to Tone.
But enough about Tone, this is about thrice Academy and Emmy Award nominated, six time Grammy winning and my dear friend, Gaga. As I said, my own stupidity kept me from years of friendship with Ga – as only her best friends call her – and while that often wakes me in a cold sweat, I am glad at how quickly we developed the beautiful friendship we have.
Given she is busy residenc-ing and attendee literally every single award show on the planet, I decided to swing by for a post Oscar-nominees luncheon date and, you guessed it, run the odds for the Grammys.
Given she has made a splash in the film world I bequeathed her the honour of helping me pick who will take out Best Music Film and while I see merits in Whitney winning like Ga thinks, I can’t go past Quincy. While I am a dear friend of both Jay and Bey, neither of us can see them beating Childish Gambino’s This Is America.
Obviously I couldn’t bet against Gaga for Best Pop Solo Performance or Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, so we focused on me betting the house on Tony Bennett and Diana Krall’s Love Is Here to Stay for BEst Traditional Pop Vocal Album – though Babs is my most likely spoiler – and my love for Kelly Clarkson isn’t enough to make me bet against Camila Cabello’s creatively titled Camila taking out Best Pop Vocal Album.
While running all those odds can be hungry work, I know that the Academy serves calorie rich food at the nominees luncheon – checky during awards season, no? – so I opted to keep it light with a delicious Lady Gaugamole.
Nobody loves avocados more than I – excluding Queer Eye’s Antony, obviously – however I had never tasted guac perfection until I encountered Chipotle. Oh Chipotle, how I love you so! The spicy, glorious guac bursting from a burrito and washed down with some Pibb Extreme is my idea of heaven. But this is not an add, focus on their guac – fresh and zingy, it is perfect all by itself.
Enjoy!
Lady Gaugamole Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 ripe avocados
1 lime, zested and juiced
2 tbsp coriander
1 red onion, finely diced
1 jalapeño, roughly chopped
¼ tsp kosher salt Tortea Leoni Chips, to serve
Method Cut the avocados in half, remove the pit and mash the flesh.
Hot damn! Another month, another season of RuPaul’s Drag Race is rolling around with All Stars 4. I mean, can you believe that it was only eight months ago that Ru and Michelle brought about the tomfoolery of a jury, leading to Shangela’s robbery after becoming the front-runner after BenDeLaCreme self-eliminated, leaving the public to question the validity of poor Trixie’s win despite the fact she is a killer queen?
Fun times.
Once again I’ve decided to serve justice for the queens of All Stars 1 and am assembling a group to help me count down to the fresh season. Because not everyone can get redemption like Latrila – werk – this season!
Given I was feeling some robbed-goddess realness, I reached out to the OG runner-up slash Miss Congeniality and one of the most negatively impacted by the teams of All Stars, my dear friend Nina Flowers. No shade to Planet Tammie, whom I love.
Neens was thrilled to final be able to drop by and get the publicity boost that comes with being on this patch of cyberspace. And to reconnect with one of her biggest fans. I mean, back when the vaseline lensed season 1 rolled around, Nina was serving bald, tattooed zaddy realness and I was here for it.
I was so obsessed in fact, that I would make her picnic lunches for us to share. With my Stuffed Zuccnina Flowers being the dish that made her most likely to reciprocate my feelings.
I used to be completely creeped out by the idea of eating zucchini flowers. No doubt left over from fearing actual zucchinis as a child. Then I decided to brave them in my pursuit of Nina owning me, and lets just say I fell in love. The delicate floral flavour mixed with lemon, chilli and cheese fried to molten perfection is, well, perfection.
Enjoy!
Stuffed Zuccnina Flowers Serves: 4.
Ingredients 12 zucchini flowers, stymens removed but baby zucchini attached
⅔ cup fresh ricotta
½ cup pecorino, grated
1 teaspoon dried chilli flakes
1 lemon, zested
1 cup cornflour
½ cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 ½ cups soda water
vegetable oil, for frying
kosher salt, for serving
Method Combine the ricotta, pecorino, chilli and lemon in a bowl, and spoon into the flowers. Lightly press the top to close and place on a lined baking sheet while you fill the rest.
Meanwhile whisk the cornflour, flour, baking powder and soda water in another bowl, and bring 2cm of oil to hot heat in a large saucepan. Once scorching, dip the flowers in the batter and place into the oil a couple at a time. Cook for a couple of minutes, flipping once, or until golden and crisp.
Fame Hungry 