Main

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza

Main, Pizza, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under ten new queens tied their kangaroos down and moved on into our teeny, tiny Werk Room. Forgoing any form of opening photoshoot – which sucks, TBH – the dolls put on an epic Mardi Gras welcome performance. To a megamix of Ru’s hits, no less. Ivory was confident with her uplifting lyrics, until Hollywould and Flor cautioned her to focus more on selling herself. They were then followed by sweet Gabriella, and while the advice was 100% correct, it was enough to make her spiral. Coincidentally, the trio that gave her the advice made up the tops – leading to a well deserved Hollywould – while at the other end of the pack, Amyl too got stuck in her head. With it tragically sending Amyl out of the competition as the Jojo Zaho of the season.

Backstage while Ivory was completely gagged by the fact she won the lip sync, she was glad to be able to prove to both herself and her sisters that she can perform. She congratulated Hollywould on taking out the win before Ashley jumped in and immediately turned the attention to herself, gagged by the fact she was in the bottom but glad her ill fitting outfit was so beloved that it saved her. Rita hilariously jumped in herself, reading it as fugly, which upset Ashley.

The next day things were far less tense, with Ivory vowing to be as loud and gay as possible and show the judges confidence. Aka the thing she lacked in the performance. Flor asked her if she and Hollywould actually got into her head, with Ivory doubling down admitting they did. But before a fight could break out, Ru dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a sexy selfie boudoir mini challenge. Bumpa Love was up first and well, I love her thunderdome, slutty vibes. Ashley Madison was a mess, but rocked the staging, Flor gave slutty Dora the Explorer like an icon, Gabriella was demented and stunning, Hollywould was just sexy, Isis gave awkward old dominatrix, Ivory was a trainwreck in the best way possible, Ivanna Eiffel Towered her way into my heart and Rita gave shitting the bed. Literally.

After Gabrielle was handed victory – justice for Flor – Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be attending Muriel’s Wedding. And they’d need to design their outfits using the bedding on set for their pictorials. It descended into chaos as everyone snatched whatever they could, while Gabriella just flicked through and thought it was all shit. 

As they split up to look through their hauls, Ivanna was confident to not fall prey to Anita’s sewing curse and survive a design challenge. Isis meanwhile was vibing, given she is a very good sewer, Bumpa felt she could safely be middle of the pack, Rita was wanting to stand out while Ivory was ready to have her moment. While Gabriella, ugh I hate it, was spiralling. Though her idea to call her dress Muriel so it could be deliberately terrible and save herself was an iconic idea. Ivanna and Isis were busy working away which started to make Flor nervous, given she has no skills in the area. But unlike her sisters, she knew that she needed to stay confident.

Ru dropped by with Raven to kiki with the dolls, with Isis confidently speaking about her history in bridal design. Which Raven pointed out put a target on her back. Ivory was selling confidence, despite being unable to sew with her gorgeous red fabric. Bumpa Love had Ru in stitches as she sold drunk aunt energy, Ashley threw shade as she shared she was using the exact same fabric as Ivory. But with sewing skills. Obviously Ru and Raven lived for the drama, which didn’t really kick off until they left, as Ivory read Ashley as a tasteless bitch.And like their sisters, I love it. Flor meanwhile was spiralling over the outfit, leading to Isis stepping in to help her. Followed by helping Ivory and then all her sisters, begging the question, is she going to be able to finish her outfit? Gabriella didn’t want to bother anyone though, however sadly it meant she just quietly spiralled. While Ivanna knew she should line her gown, but was worried about having enough time.

Oh and Hollywould decided she hated her fabric and decided to start again.

Elimination Day arrived with rumours swirling that Isis had made a completely new outfit for Hollywould. Which they both emphatically denied – just some hemming – before Hollywould pointed out that they should hope she doesn’t land in the bottom anyway, given she would murder them in a lip sync. As they split up to finish, Bumpa and Rita meanwhile were frustrated that other queens were getting help when they did everything themselves. Meanwhile Ashley asked if Hollywould felt she could best three people, with her hilariously pointing out Flor as one of them, who was right behind her. Talk turned to their relationships, with Bumpa talking about being married for 10 years – with Gabriella hilariously pointing out you get less for murder, which is such an ockerism – before Isis shared a touching story about how much weddings and marriage equality went to making her feel whole.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by Maria Thattil on the panel before Ivanna served bitchy mother in law realness, in white for emphasis. Rita gave cutesie flower girl as she flashed the judges, Ashley’s jealous sister looked ok but her hair was a mess. Sadly Ivory’s dress was such a mess though, it made Ashley look great. Bumpa Love meanwhile sold the hell out of her horny, mother of the bride realness, Hollywould looked SO good as a glamorous flower girl supermodel – thank you, Isis – Gabriella slayed as a fringed showgirl waitress at the wedding, Isis served a draped, gown – though looked dead, according to Rhys – before Flor closed the runway as she sold the party. And I love it. 

Ashley, Gabriella and Flor were sent to safety – with a “thank you so much,” from Gabriella – before Ivanna was praised for her sewing, though read for not lining the dress. Or steaming the garment. And kind of not sharing enough energy. Rita meanwhile was read for not having flowers, though praised for hemming, despite a lack of shape to the gown. While the judges loved Ivory’s presentation, they read her outfit for absolute filth. Specifically the wonky tits and pregnant vibe. Bumpa meanwhile received universal praise for the details and the energy, while Hollywould’s outfit was beloved, thanks to Isis, though so was her energy. Isis meanwhile received wall to wall praise for the look, though Michelle cautioned her to tone down the eye makeup.

Oh and then Rhys offered some important advice, “Why talk about anal beads? Use them!”

Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, though shocked to be there alongside Flor and Gabriella. The tops and bottoms joined them, with everyone agreeing Isis is taking out the victory, while Gabriella agreed with Ashley, shocked that she was safe. Hollywould admitted she is in the top, while Ivanna started to break down, disappointed to be in the bottom and potentially going home on a sewing challenge. Just like Anita. Rita too was in her feelings, while Ivory tried to cheer them up. Ashley asked if that meant she thinks she is safe, with Ivory talking about how she got opposite critiques to last week. Admitting that she is mainly annoyed that she is in the bottom when people literally had their garments made for them.

Ultimately the doll’s suspicion was correct as Isis jagged her first victory, before Bumpa and Hollywould were sent to safety. At the other end of the pack, Ivanna – thankfully – narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Rita to face off against Ivory. Well, eventually, as Ivory fainted and had to go outside to recover, leaving poor Rita to sit there on stage wondering what the hell was going on, with sweet Gabriella ra-ing her up from the back of the stage. As a wonky Ivory returned to the stage, Ru decided enough was enough and told them that NOBODY would actually be lip syncing tonight. Instead, due to the medical episode, the dolls would have a night to rest before lip syncing at the top of the next episode.

Given the extraordinary circumstances, I decided to bring forward Ivory’s culinary comfort. As she wobbled off stage, I quickly took her under her wing, and while she continued her sassiness, pointing out she is still in the competition, I figured that given she almost went over the edge of the stage, she should be happy. Plus, in her two, soon to be three, episodes, she already proved to be an icon and as such, that is worthy of a celebration. Whether she lives – poor choice of words – to fight another day, or exits as the second boot. And conveniently, Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza is perfect for either situation.

The hot and fiery salami – think week two Ivory – pairs perfectly with the light, creaminess of the burrata – week on Ivory – to give you a nearly perfect pizza. Even if it means she will likely go out next, on account of the pizza curse.

Enjoy!

Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup passata
2 tbsp italian herbs
¾ cup mozzarella, grated
20 slices diavola salami
1 tsp dried chilli flakes
1 ball burrata, torn

Method
Prep the base as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 200°C. 

Roll out the dough and spread with passata, then scatter with mozzarella, salami and chilli flakes. Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden and bubbling.

Remove from the oven and top with burrata. Before devouring, like an icon.


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Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo

Main, Pasta, Poultry, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the producers once again proved that what we lack in budget in the land(s) down under, we make up for in sheer camp and fun. I mean, where else do you hear so many ockerisms and smut from the judges alone. One by one the dolls were felled and once again, Team Kiwi came out on top as CUM! and chippies combined to hand a very well deserved victory to Spankie mother tuckin’ Jackzon as she succeeded the host of her first televised drag competition victory, Kita Mean.

Never forget Kita spreading rumours she was the first boot. What an icon.

But that was then and this is now, as first up to enter our tight little Werk Room this year was Hollywould Star and I love her confidence, despite only being on the scene for a year. Plus her red dress was cute. Ashley Madison dropped by looking perfect in pastel, despite her lack of arse and controversial nature down in Melbourne. Pronounced Mal-bourne, if you’re a local FYI. While Ashley has the reputation as the local bitch, she heard that’s what the dolls in Sydney think of Hollywould, so hopes to see if she is. Or you know, is trying to Alexis Michelle her way out of the villain role and push it on to Hollywould. The first potential winner – aka Kiwi – is Flor, who was living her best life serving all glamour, until a fly flew into her eye, because this, of course, happens in down under. Ivory Glaze arrived serving sleeping beauty on arrival and nerd in confessional, so you know I will ship. Even though winner may get her fired by Ashley, her number one booker.

But well, Ashley couldn’t keep her pants up, so maybe her approval doesn’t really matter.

Feeling the vibe, Amyl was an absolute mess forgetting her name, age and entrance line, so if she doesn’t win, I am absolutely going to lose it. Plus, her entry line was perfection (“Loosen up assholes, Amyl’s here”). Anita’s husband was up next and well, I look forward to Ivanna Drink and her sweet nature. Isis Avis Loren joined the frey and I love her already, because in drag she is sickening but out, she is an artsy nerd and I love me a transformation. Rita Menu was next in, serving silly charm and ugh, give her the crown. She is like the kid from Hunt for the Wilderpeople grown up and therefore must be protected at all costs. We then met Bumpa Love, who is a fucking icon like Gamble from RHOM and while she was living for herself, the little girls were loving her delusion. And then Gabriella Labucci rounded out the cast, arriving in crotchet, dropping farts and I love her and her flaccid dickhead ways.

Her quote.

Ru dropped by to welcome her newest shielas and list out the prize package before forgoing any mini challenge and announcing for their first maxi challenge, they would be throwing a Madi Gras float performance, featuring their own verses on a mash up Superqueen and Sissy that Walk. And because of the budget, one would assume, they would have to arrange their own choreo.

With that, the dolls split up to untuck and kiki, with Flor and Isis speculating who would prove to be their biggest competition. While they felt Rita is likely to be the first one heading out the door, given she hasn’t been doing drag for very long. Hollywould and Amyl meanwhile were excited to not be the solo women of colour, speculating that Flor could be the trade of the season. If she ever took off her mug for them to confirm, that is. 

Everyone split up to work through their lyrics, with Ivory confident in her skills as a songwriter. Sadly for her, Flor and Hollywould weren’t feeling her kind, uplifting words, instead cautioning her to mak sure she lets Ru know who she is with her verse. Hollywould meanwhile was focused all on herself, though thankfully sharing her lyrics lit a fire under Ivory. Rita meanwhile was focused on talking food and serving, while Ashley started to get into her head. Gabriella meanwhile opted to walk around and check in with her besties – lucky she gave out those friendship bracelets on arrival – though sadly just made Ivory more nervous.

The dolls pivoted to the mainstage to work through their choreography with nobody willing to stick their necks out so soon. As such, Ivanna bravely stepped up to lead them, however given Amyl isn’t a confident dancer and Ivory doesn’t know what a boxstep is, it could be a problem. She didn’t have to worry for long though, given Flor and Isis weren’t thrilled by the direction of the choreo, so the latter stepped in like traffic control and directed them all around the stage. Which only made things worse for Amyl and Ivory, while sweet Gabriella was just confused. For no specific reason, like an icon.

Backstage Ivory continued to spiral, breaking down in tears as she wondered why she even thought it was a good idea to apply. Thankfully Isis stepped up to give her a peptalk, encouraging her to take this opportunity to shine. Ivory opened up about her difficult relationship with her parents and how she has always felt the need to be perfect. And even when she was, was made to feel like she should be doing even more.

Elimination Day arrived with Amyl feeling very stressed about her debut performance, while Ivory opened up to the rest of the girls about how their feedback on her lyrics got into her head and as such, she spiraled. And while Hollywould was annoyed she couldn’t see it as constructive, the rest of the dolls were far more supportive. As they split up to beat their mugs, Hollywould and Flor kikied about how they were only trying to help and gave Ivory deathies across the room. Thankfully before a fight could break out, Isis asked who had experienced mardi gras which led to a nice chat about the power of pride and how wonderful it is. Despite the lack of safe spaces being equally located around the country, as Ashley Madison further leant into playing the role of the Alexis Michelle of the season.

Gabriella meanwhile was genuinely being a sweet icon, pulling Ivory aside to make sure things were good between them as she was only trying to be helpful about her verse and would hate to have hurt her feelings in the process. While Flor and Hollywould moved on from the deathies, instead joking about Ivory being in the bottom.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Deva Mahal as the dolls turned the show and well, it was good. Real good. Hollywould was absolute fire, Garbeilla was camp and cute, Flor was on point and Isis was perfect because I love her. At the other end of the pack, poor Amyl was very obviously stuck in her head, Ashley’s outfit looked a couple of sizes too big and Ivory couldn’t find the beat or her own lyrics. 

On the Somewhere Under the Rainbow runway, Isis served a moody, floral butterfly. Ivanna looked like Weird Barbie rocking shimmering disco dots, Amyl gave a tube of lifesavers, Ashley gave Vivienne Westwood tartan, though still couldn’t get an outfit to fit. Rita meanwhile gave gay flag gyro, Bumpa was stunningly feathered and ugh, I wish we saw more of her this episode as she is fun. I mean, the waving and banter with the judges as she walked was just A+. Garbriella gave another lifesaver gown though made it glamour and won the battle, Ivory Glaze gave LBD covered in unicorn cum – who can beat that description? – while Hollywould Star served glamour Black Panther and yeah, she came to slay. As did Flor, giving bright, architectural bug and well, this is clearly why the dolls were confident backstage.

Isis, Ivanna, Rita and Bumpa were sent to safety before Amyl was read for being completely stuck in her head and unable to loosen up, ironically. Ru encouraged her to just believe in herself and feel like the star that she is. Ashley meanwhile was read for the ill fitting garments, though praised for her confidence. Gabriella meanwhile was lavished in praise for being charming, energetic and fun, despite her performance look being a little basic. Ivory meanwhile was read for struggling in the performance – BADLY – though they rightly lived for her stunning runway, which may just save her. She opened up to Ru about being a business analyst and that she doesn’t really believe in herself, though drag is what makes her feel extraordinary. Hollywould meanwhile received wall to wall praise for the performance and the runway. As did Flor, despite the fact they wanted to see her face.

Thankfully though, she did fully beat under her mask and that reveal absolutely delighted them.

Backstage the safe girls were just thrilled to survive the first week before Amyl arrived and immediately started hunting for an iPod to learn the lip sync. And was heartbroken. Ivory meanwhile was disappointed but ready to lip sync, knowing it was inevitable. Ashley meanwhile was busy sobbing about her fucking nipples landing her in the bottom. While Amyl admitted she would just prefer to lip sync against Ashley because she likes Ivory better, so doesn’t want to send her home. Which, lol.

Ultimately Gabriella and Flor were sent to safety as Hollywould took out the first victory of the season. At the other end of the pack, Amyl tragically didn’t get her wish as Ashley narrowly avoided the lip sync – by a nipple, one could say. As soon as Men at Work’s Down Under kicked off, Ivory and Amyl gave the same choreo and energy, but TBH, what else can you do with that song other than some air percussion and jigging. Actually, maybe they could have done some Kath and Kim Irish dancing? In any event, while it was a bit boring, Ru didn’t go the route of Valentina and keep them both – for reasons still unknown, Mexico – instead, rewarding Ivory for giving a little bit camp and polish, tragically leaving Amyl as the Jojo Zaho of the season.

Despite the disappointment, Amyl was in good spirits backstage as I pulled her in for a massive hug and reiterated that even if she didn’t get the memorable place of first boot, her entry would have already made her a beloved, cult queen. And since she has both, that makes her destined for great things, if you ask me! Back to feeling her iconic oats, we turned our attention to celebrating her brief run, plotting her ru-demption on All Stars and smashing a batch of Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo.

There is nothing I love more than a rich, creamy sauce. Even more so when it is combined with my second favourite meat – chicken, as I’m basic – and pasta. Throw in some woody mushrooms and well, you’ve got the ultimate in comfort food.

Enjoy!

Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g penne
1 tsp olive oil
500g button mushrooms, sliced
500g chicken breast, sliced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
500g thickened cream
115g unsalted Butter
75g parmesan cheese, grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup baby spinach, washed

Method
Cook the penne per packet instructions, because girl, I have no idea where to start making penne from scratch. But that is an aside.

Heat the oil in a pan over medium heat and saute the mushrooms for 5 minutes or so, or until browned and crisp. Add the chicken and cook, stirring, for another 5 minutes before seasoning with a good whack of salt and pepper. Reduce heat to low and stir in the cream, butter, garlic and parmesan, and cook until smooth, before stirring in the spinach. Remove from heat.

Combine the pasta and the sauce, season to taste and then devour, thinking wistfully of what could have been.


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Pichuan Pork Dumplings

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France Nicky took a page out of UK-Ru’s book and tasked the dolls with hosting a little morning show. Part acting challenge, part skit, like in the UK it was a little hit and miss. But when there were hits, they were fantastic. Specifically Moon’s weather report, which was robbed of victory like she was Keiona – who was also perfect yet again – as Sara took out another win. Which was well deserved too, but I digress. At the other end of the pack, Mami once again narrowly avoided the bottom as Cookie slayed the lip sync and sent sweet Kitty packing.

Backstage the dolls gathered round the ‘ol mirror message to toast their fallen sister, with Moon in particular sad to have lost her closest confidante. Cookie meanwhile was glad that if she must keep landing in the bottom, at least she is coming across as an assassin. Everyone turned their attention back to Sara, praising her for earning her second win. Though don’t pretend they were back to back because Zaddy Piche is right there and will gladly send you home if you forget she won week two, Cookie! With the two bottoms.

The next day the dolls were focused on literacy as they ran through their spelling, before Mami assured us that this week, she will stop being a bottom. Even though we’re all bottoms. They speculated what they could possibly face this week, with Mami scoffing at Cookie’s wish for Snatch Game. Right on cocorico, Nicky arrived to pop the dolls down on their knees in front of each other. For a little wedding mini challenge, sickos, mind out of the gutter! The couples paired up and then split off to get into matrimonial quick drag before Drag King Elvis was wheeled out to marry the dolls. First up were Ginger and Piche who gave ‘80s rocker in all the right, messed up, trashy ways and I love it. Mami Watte and Keiona were bright, ditsy and silly, Cookie and Moon were nerdy delights while Sara and Punani looked like low rent Princess Di and Fergie and TBH, it makes me wish those two got married and were able to live happy lives.

THEN the dolls had their legs tied together and had to play a three legged race to collect items from the Werk Room and return to their seats, musical chairs style. Because why stop at the quick drag silliness? Punani and Sara were first out after failing to jag a red or pink shoe. Two tights cost Mami and Keiona before Ginger and Piche couldn’t find the flowers themselves – Dalloway style – leaving Cookie and Moon to take out victory and a prize of wedding cake. Sadly though, that was it for the reward as for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would, in fact, be playing Snatch Game.

After Nicky departed Punani shared with the dolls that she had been planning on playing Amanda Lear in Snatch Game, who tragically is one of the guest judges this week. Filling everyone with nerves on her behalf. Sara and Cookie meanwhile realised they both brought the same character which led to an epic fight between the frontrunner and the queen of the bottoms, with the latter wanting her star moment and to break out of her funk. While Sara, like an icon, was just happy with the two of them to commit and see who comes out on top.

Nicky dropped by for a kiki with Cookie locking in her plans to play Johnny Hallyday, while Sara shared that in addition to him, she also had Françoise Sagan as a back-up. With Nicky sweetly telling her to just do what she thinks is right, rather than changing because she thinks she should. Nicky was gagged again to learn of Punani selecting Amanda Lear, Ginger would be doing Victoria Silvstedt, Moon brought Brigitte Fontaine, Keiona would be playing Afida Turner, Piche was locked in on Geneviève de Fontenay and Mami was playing Shauna Sand.

We did an immediate pivot to the set where Eddy de Pretto and genuine Amanda Lear took their places on the panel as the dolls kicked things off. Cookie was having an absolute ball as Johnny, Punani was perfection as Amanda in front of Amanda, Keiona was all energy and jokes as Afida Turner, Ginger was a vampy icon while Piche was a little subdued. Moon was hilarious as Brigitte by way of Ozzy Osbourne – I think – while Mami was so silly as Shauna while Sara was solid but a little lost, despite not being able to do her first choice. Punani, Moon and Keiona went from strength to strength throughout the challenge, while Ginger and Sara faded, while Piche was tragically thus there.

Jour d’élimination arrived with the dolls thrilled to have made it through Snatch Game, with only Moon, Keiona and Punani (rightly) confident about how they went. Piche meanwhile realised it was a shit show and how much she hated it, instead mulling over who would be lip syncing against her as they beat their mugs. Sara was confident it would be her, given her fight with Cookie had really gotten into her head. Talk turned to the protests around marriage equality ten years ago, with Ginger talking about how it united the community and allowed them to have fun along the way, with everyone just grateful to now have the same rights as the rest of France. And ugh, it is both triggering and exciting all at once.

Nicky, Kiddy and Daphne were joined by Eddy and Amanda again, this time on the judging panel, as Piche kicked off the Under the Sea runway giving Kate Winslet in Titanic complete with the door which, TBH, should earn her safety for that alone. I mean, she even had Leo frozen in her back! Punani gave technicolour swamp thing amoeba in all the right ways, Moon stunned as a sexy pink and pearl fish, Sara went from floating trash to a golden fish gown, Ginger served sea slug realness by way of Roz from Monsters Inc, Mami slayed as sexy Spongebob – not the ick that is the Broadway version, FYI – before Cookie served drama as an epic wave and Keiona gave glamour jellyfish, which also reminded me of Kate Winslet’s hat in Titanic. Which is a compliment.

Cookie and Mami were sent to safety before Piche’s runway received wall to wall praise while her Snatch Game was read. Wall to wall. Punani meanwhile was beloved for each and every thing she gave this week, particularly for being brave enough to play Amanda in front of Amanda. They loved everything Moon did from the runway to Snatch Game, before poor Sara was read for not being in the moment for Snatch Game, though they (mostly) loved her runway. While Ginger was read for just rocking a gown on the runway and for crumbling under the pressure of being a funny girl on Snatch Game and Keiona, obvi, received only positives. Particularly for her stunning runway and once again, surprising with a dominant comedy performance.

Backstage the safe dolls were thrilled to be out of their slump before Mami pointed out that Sara is probs in the bottom, questioning if Cookie felt bad. And spoiler, she didn’t. The tops and bottoms dropped by with Piche still sure she’d be lip syncing despite that killer runway. Sara on the other hand felt like she would definitely be lip syncing in her place, due to the outfit, while Ginger assured them that everything she did was hated and as such, they only have one spot left in the bottom. While poor Punani just assured them all that they should still be proud of themselves, despite how they feel they went.

Ultimately it was Punani who took out a very well deserved win, leaving Keiona to once again finish in the top, this week alongside Moon. At the other end of the pack, it was Sara’s track record that saved her from the bottom, leaving Piche and Ginger to battle for safety. And while I was sure Piche was going to absolutely dominate, as soon as Je vais vite by Lorie kicked off, it was clear Ginger was not going down without a fight. After stripping off, she got all the energy while Piche started to struggle to make it work in a gown. Which was tragically all it took to eliminate her from the competition, as the robbed goddess of the season. And ugh, I am angry.

It was easy for Piche to find me backstage, simply following my rage-fuelled howling as I sobbed over all that we lost. Aka the trade of the season who is also super talented. As soon as I saw her enter the Werk Room, I ran into her arms and sobbed as I told her how frustrating it was to leave her so soon. Given she has been nothing but stunning each and every week, and had an absolutely winning runway. Eventually I got my breathing under control and reminded myself that being a robbed goddess generally works out better for anyone other than the winner and as such she’ll be doing just fine. Which allowed me to make a pivot as hard as Ross Gellar’s and toast her success with a piping hot batch of Pichuan Pork Dumplings.

Spicy and sweet, these glorious little dumplings are the perfect way to distract from pain or feelings of existential dread – but do you guys ever think about dying? – and leave you feeling both satisfied and wanting more.

Enjoy!

Pichuan Pork Dumplings
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
300g pork mince
100g wombok, finely chopped
1 tbsp finely chopped chives
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp minced ginger
1 tbsp tamari
2 tsp fish sauce
1 tsp Chinese rice wine
1 tsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp ground white pepper
½ tsp ground szechuan peppercorns
40 gow gee wrappers

Method
Combine everything but the gow gee wrappers in a large bowl and mix together with your hands. Cover, pop in the fridge and leave to marinate for an hour.

Lay out the wrappers on a bench and place a tablespoon of filling in the centre of each. Dip a finger in water and wet the edges before folding, pleating and mashing them closed – depending on skill level or care for the aesthetic. Repeat the process until they are all gone.

To cook, get a steamer going over high heat and cook the dumplings, 5-10 at a time depending on the size, for about 5-10 minutes, or until the wrapper is gorgeously soft and silky and the filling cooked. Repeat until all dumplings are done, replenishing the water as needed. 

Devour immediately with whatever sauce you fancy. Though I obviously advise a spicy little mayo.


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Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France Nicky reminded us – again – how popular the first season was resulting in Paloma’s triumphant victory. Begging the question, is that going to open every episode? Because I both live, and lol. We then pivoted to the actual recap, which was that last week 11 new queens arrived and immediately dropped an absolute banger as they wrote and recorded a new Drag Race France anthem. While there were a trio of iconic performances, Sara Forever took out the first win of the season – justice for Keiona and Punani – while Rose and Kitty Space were deemed the weakest, landing them in the bottom. Being a dancing queen, Kitty was able to turn a show and save herself, sending Rose out of the competition first. As the La Kahena of the season.

Backstage Kitty was holding back tears as she returned to read the mirror message, heartbroken to lose such a sweetheart like Rose. And, you know, to realise that the competition is real. Punani meanwhile was truly gutted to have lost her best friend, while Sara just felt intimidated about what she will be facing each week as they are all so fierce. Despite proving herself fiercest as the winner of the first challenge. 

The next day the top ten had wipes their tears and marched in ready to slay another week. As they speculated what the next challenge could be, they were interrupted by the cocorico signalling the arrival of Nicky. And this week’s mini challenge, where they would get into panda drag in just 15 minutes and they boots the house down to Pandi-Panda which I think was all translated correctly. Thankfully the zaddy Pit Crew were wheeled out with a few supplies and after the queens ravaged their box, they got to work getting Pandafied. Well, Mami did, the rest just looked hilarious. One by one the dolls got up – and off – and slayed their pandied self, dancing in the most unhinged ways until Moon was deemed the victor. I assume for being the most unhinged. 

Before departing Nicky announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be throwing a little old talent show. In front of the cast of Season 1. The dolls immediately split up to prepare for the show, with everyone confident they’d be able to impress their Season 1 sisters. Keiona, obviously, was excited to bring some legit vogueing to the mainstage, while Mami opened up to the doll’s that her family doesn’t know she does drag due to how religious they are. To the point her mother signed her up for conversion therapy, and how she still speaks about her mother with so much love in her heart, says all you need to know about Mami. Because that is some fucked-up, horrid behaviour yet Mami continues to be kind. Moon admitted that conversion therapy is still a thing in Switzerland too with some of her friends having had ECT as part of it and oh god, fuck the world and just let everyone live.

The conversation turned more broadly to parents and hearing Moon talk about how parents have a job to accept their kids and make their lives easier sounds so simple but for some people, they just seem to get it so, so wrong.

We did a hard pivot from the trauma bonding of the queens to the mainstage where Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Zahia Dehar on the panel before the dolls of Season 1 were bused in to join the audience. And then, and only then, did Keiona take the stage to open the show and absolutely demolish as she vogued the house down and showed just why she is a legend. Punani then was adorable as she gave the stupidest, camp ‘80s workout routine. It was absurd and just perfect. Vespi meanwhile was trollied in with a disco ball on her head until it split in half half-way through, ruining her reveal during a camp robot dance number. Sara Forever then gave demon moan realness before busting out opera lip sync and well, I live. Because they are all ridiculous. Ginger then went a more traditional route, serving comedy with a messy wig and had the judges in stitches. Kitty then bombed with a skit before it pivoted into a sexy dance number.

Well, I think. She was carried a lot?

Mami then gave a powerful dance in honour of her African heritage, complete with a living gown and yeah, it was iconic and I love her, so I don’t care what the judges think. Cookie then did a puppet show and again, it was unhinged, so I love it. Moon then did a lip sync to reveal a claw fingered creature with paint on its fingers which she used to paint a portrait. And again, I live. Piche then stuck with something more traditional, showing off her pipes with vocal runs and all the notes before giving a full R&B performance in the cutest damn tracksuits and yeah, give her the win because it was good. Really good. Whether I am crushing on her or not. 

On the 2 in 1 runway, Cookie went from suit to evening gown however the suit was still visible, so I’m not happy. Keiona went from sexy zebra to a red gowned vixen. Sara served penis to vulva, lika a damn icon, before Punani went from winter to spring and Kitty went from the caged bird to glamorous phoenix. Moon went from Gen Z influencer to boxing bra, Ginger gave Jackie Kennedy to Marilyn – eventually – Mami went from bug to artist’s canvas, complete with her buns out before Vespi went from virgin bride to goddess. But again, struggled with her headwear. Piche then went from Arlesian to a stunning flamenco gown and again, give her the win. 

Ginger, Cookie, Sara, Mami, Vespi, Keiona and Piche were summoned forward as the tops and bottoms, with the Punani, Kitty and Moon heading backstage to untuck. Cookie’s talent show was read for being too safe and for being stuck in her head. Keoina obviously received universal praise for her performance and the runway, leading to her breaking down over how happy she is to be cutting through with the judges and respresenting ballroom. Sara once again was beloved for her – unhinged – performance, Ginger’s runway received top marks as did her killer comedy before Mami was read for having a strong start in the talent show, though going nowhere after that. Vespi meanwhile was praised for her outfit though read for offering no reveal and for the general mishaps in the talent show. Piche on the otherhand received universal praise for the perforamnce and for giving a full moment on the runway.

Backstage the dolls reconvened with Piche very excited by how much the judges love her, while Keiona was worried her runway would cost her the win. Mami meanwhile was in her feels, worried about potentially lip syncing as the dolls rallied to remind her how much they loved her runway. Vespi too was sure she was lip syncing as Cookie felt like her inner saboteur had gotten her tonight.

Ultimately Keiona’s fears were correct as she was sent to safety alongside Sara and Ginger before Piche took out her first win of the season. As she deserves. Vespi was then sent straight through to the bottom before Mami was sent to safety, leaving Cookie to join the battle for survival. But as soon as Lara Fabian’s Tout kicked off – again, gagged we’re hearing thisin Australia and not hold music – it was clear that she was not going anywhere, feeling all the emotions and hitting every lyric. Not to say Vespi didn’t slay, as she did, destroying her garment as she stripped off, but sadly, this is the kind of song that lends itself to a legend and Cookie knocked it out of the park, saving herself and sending Vespi out of the competition.

Backstage, sweet Vespi was in her feels, heartbroken to be out of the competition so soon. Particularly since a lot of it came down to things going wrong for her, rather than the concepts. I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she still got to show off her talent and given the hijinks, it kind of made her more iconic and as such, she should be able to benefit from it. Kinda like the French version of Farrah Moan. With that, she was pretty chuffed – I mean, hello All Stars – and gladly sat down to celebrate her brief run with some Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas.

Sweet, sticky and salty, these little veggie kebabs are such a surprising delight. Everyone’s favourite squeaky cheese works perfectly with the peach to provide a surprising, delicious summer BBQ treat that will have you coming back time and time again.

Enjoy!

Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
540g haloumi, cut into 2cm strips
4 yellow peaches, pitted and cut into segments
60ml olive oil
8 sprigs thyme leaves
⅓ cup honey
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 lemon, juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup basil leaves
8 Pita Andre Bread

Method
Pop a griddle pan over medium-high heat as you thread haloumi and peach onto skewers, alternating as you go, until you fill the skewer. Brush the skewers with oil and once the pan is scorching, add the skewers and cook for a few minutes each side until they are crisp and have a little bit of char about them. Remove from the heat and keep warm.

Combine the thyme, honey and chilli flakes in a saucepan and cook over medium heat for a few minutes, stirring as you go, until it is caramelised. Stir in the lemon juice and immediately remove from the heat. Season to taste.

Pour the syrup over the skewers and serve with the pitas and a generous helping of basil.


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Alexicken Mushelle & Leek

Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars Kandy was still worried about the fallout from Heidi quitting after accusing her of plotting against Jimbo, and how it would come back to bite her should she land in the bottom. To distract her, the top five were tasked with designing looks inspired by five previous All Stars winners and while Lala was not feeling confident, she was hopeful Alexis would remember that she literally saved her the week before should she take out the win. Alexis slayed from start to finish, Jimbo was an icon and Jessica slayed the hot glue, leaving some fit issues to land Kandy and Lala in the bottom. And after Alexis beat Nicky Doll in the lip sync, she promptly forgot Lala saved her and sent her from the competition, rather than Kandy.

Backstage the top four were thrilled to have made it all the way to the end, with Alexis hoping that winning one challenge would be enough to snatch the crown. Again, Jimbo is right there. Alexis turned their attention to the vote, admitting it was the hardest of the season given Lala and Kandy had the same track record, so instead she had to go with her gut. Even though she promised Lala she wouldn’t forget her earlier kindness. The dolls sat down to kiki, thrilled to all finally have a win while Jimbo just wanted to know how it feels to win a lip sync. Jessica meanwhile asked to check if Alexis was wrong to pick Lala and after counting the votes, we learnt that the decision was unanimous, meaning everyone should stop hating on Alexis. Myself included. While Jimbo joked about just not being able to see the lipsticks and as such, she actually meant to vote Kandy out. While Kandy admitted she was just straight up gagged to be saved, which led to Jimbo asking why Alexis told Lala she wouldn’t vote her out. With her denying it before implying she and Kandy formed a late breaking alliance.

Which you know will come back to haunt them should Jessica or Jimbo win the next challenge.

The next day the dolls were still pumped to have made it so far, begging the question, do they know we still have three more episodes after this, or is that just information for us? As they debated starting a talk show, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be celebrating TV icon Carson Kressley. By throwing a little roast, obviously. And as the winner of the previous challenge, Alexis got to decide the order. With that, Ru exited and the dolls split up to work on their sets, with Kandy confident after winning the roast in her OG season. Though realistic to know it also painted a target on her back. Jimbo and Jessica meanwhile were nervous, given they have never done a roast, with the latter particularly worried about being too mean. Alexis on the other hand was triggered by her iconic green number in her original roast, complete with her Tamar Braxton feud. 

Talk turned to the dolls approach with everyone agreeing doing a character on top of things is just adding complication. So you know Jimbo was planning to play a character. And by character, Joan Rivers. Her Canadian Snatch Game winning role. Alexis then announced the order of the show, opening it up herself, following with Jessica, Kandy and then closing the show with Jimbo. Which gurl, that is a bad idea because you know she is already going to kill it and going last will just solidify that. Whether Kandy tried to get in her head or not.

Jessica was first up to workshop her set with Michelle and Alec Mapa, and even her sighing had the duo in stitches. While Alec suggested that given she comes across as super sweet, she will be able to go even more brutal. Up next Kandy admitted she is feeling the pressure of having a solid previous roast, but TBH her practice set was awesome and maybe Jimbo does have some competition this week? If she can enunciate and breathe, that is. Alexis meanwhile was trying to forget about her previous attempts at the roast, but given how slow it went she is either heading out the door or this is the fake out edit and she is winning back to back. Wait, no, Jimbo is already perfect – despite Michelle not getting her perfect jokes – so has this in the bag. Despite her actual fake out edit.

Elimination Day arrived and while I have faith in Jimbo, her time with Michelle and Alec had her feeling nervous about making Joan proud. While Alexis was confident that all her set needed were a few little edits and she’d be good to go. Down to earth, Kandy meanwhile was super nervous despite having won a roast, before pointing out Jimbo is acting nervous but she just doesn’t trust it given she is so talented. Katya then ran into the Werk Room to cause chaos and ooze charm before kiki-ing with the dolls. Which was essentially just her trying to find out who wanted to fuck. Alexis then dropped Lala for Kandy, while Katya continued to be an obstruction and I need her back on All Stars yesterday.

“It’s a roast, not a saute” – Katya

Ru, Michelle and Carson took their places on the panel as Alexis opened the show and while she got a few laughs, like the improv, she felt way too stiff and rehearsed. And a bit too saute. Jessica was up next and slayed; a delight from start to finish! Brutal, adorable and oh so stupid, it was, chefs kiss. Kandy too started strong and went oh so hard, and it was so fun to watch. And then, Jimbo. Oh my lord, she was amazing. Stunning, perfect and oh god, crown her now. Brutal, charming and so pitch perfect as Joan, I would watch her read the phonebook. We then got a surprise fifth contestant, Carson’s bestie Thom Filicia’s drag character Jackie Would who was also charming AF.

After de-dragging, Thom joined the panel as Alexis opened the Snow Bunny runway giving glam snow lion and looked stunning. Jessica meanwhile looked like the hottest villain from a children’s ski movie who us gays root for, Kandy gave slutty apres ski in diamonds before Jimbo slayed in a full feathered gown and ugh, it was so, so gorgeous. And expensive. And congratulations on another win. The judges felt like Alexis was a great warm-up act but not up to the same level as the other girls. Though they were thrilled by her growth between seasons by turning such a stunning look. Jessica meanwhile was beloved for giving such a fun roast and for looking beautiful too. Kandy too was praised for her roast, though read for her pacing. Again though, they lived for her runway. Jimbo meanwhile received wall-to-wall praise, particularly for taking a risk and having it pay off perfectly. As did the fact she served far and away the best look. So obviously she took out her fourth win of the season, leaving the rest of the dolls in the bottom. 

Backstage Jimbo was giddy to have snatched her fourth win, while Kandy was disappointed to be in the bottom simply because there was no other option. Though obviously fine with Jimbo winning, because it was obviously deserved. Alexis then tried to toast the dolls before Jan dialled in to praise her momager. Jimbo then got a call from her zaddy brother, mother and partner, Kandy’s mum beamed with pride before Jessica’s family called from PR and ugh, the dolls are crying, I’m crying and it is just so damn sweet.

We then did a hard pivot to deliberations with Kandy assuring Jimbo that they are super close and she won’t do anything to jeopardise it. Alexis meanwhile told Jessica that she and Kandy agreed to look out for each other, though felt like she also couldn’t pick her lipstick. Alexis was next with Jimbo, knowing she had the worst critiques, though promised to support Jimbo if she stayed. Jessica meanwhile promised to look after her fellow latina Kandy, particularly since she slayed the challenge. While Kandy reiterated Alexis also has the worst track record. Jessica rounded things out with Jimbo, reminding her how well she has performed and that she doesn’t think she deserves to go. And that Jimbo shouldn’t vote her out because Puerto Rico would hate her.

The Thom Filicia then dropped by and like Kandy, ugh, I love her so damn much.

With that the dolls voted before Jimbo took her place on stage to learn that this week she’d be facing off against the undisputed lip sync assassin of the franchise, the good Doctor Reverend Silky Nutmeg Ganache, most recently of Canada vs the World fame. And before the song even started, Ru was cackling at the return of Jimbo’s bologna clown. Though when Midnight Star’s Freak-A-Zoid kicked off, both the dolls slayed, but seeing Jimbo embrace her stupidity and acting a fool, it was clear she was finally getting her win. Obviously Silky was her usually iconic self, but by the time Jimbo pulled out the bologna, there was no way she was losing. Which is something Silky picked up on, as she joined in the fun and well, it was stunning. Jimbo finally won her first ever lip sync across the franchise, before sending home Alexis. Who obviously served heartache because you know she knows how to produce.

Backstage I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for always doing what needs to be done. Say what you will about Alexis, but she knows how to deliver good TV – we call her the producer for a reason, people! – and I am so grateful for the gaggery she provided yet again. I reminded her that while she may not have won hearts by sending Lala home, over time, people will remember her as nothing more than an icon and as such, she should be proud. Plus, her glow-up was stunning and she improved her placing, so she did get a little bit of redemption. With a side of Alexicken Mushelle & Leek.

Yeah, yeah – the name is clunky, but this comforting meal is so good you’ll quickly forgive me. Packing a punch of truffle and garlic, it is a wonderful winter meal – Southern hemisphere based, FYI – to warm your soul and eat away your disappointment.

Enjoy!

Alexicken Mushelle & Leek
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
8 chicken thighs
1 leek, washed, trimmed and thinly sliced
300g mushrooms, thinly sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
3 thyme sprigs, leaves removed
2 tsp truffle oil
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup cream
1 bunch broccolini, trimmed
1 lemon, zested and juiced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the chicken and cook for five minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 5 minutes. Transfer to a plate and cover with some foil.

In the same pan, now full of juices in addition to the oil, add the leek, mushroom and garlic and cook, stirring for about five minutes, or until soft, glossy and sweet. Stir in the thyme, truffle oil, stock and cream, and bring to the boil. Add the chicken and juices, and reduce heat to low. Cover and leave to simmer for 20 minutes.

Once the sauce has reduced and the chicken glorious, add the broccolini and cover before cooking for a further five minutes. Once that is tender, stir in the lemon zest and juice, and season to taste with the salt and pepper.

Then serve on a bed of rice and devour, like a production icon.


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Smokey Lamb Pitita

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España doce chicas nuevas y La Macarena arrived for a shot – or another – at joining Carmen y Sharonne in the España winner’s circle. Given the first two seasons were so damn good, the judges weren’t feeling the dolls over the first couple of weeks and cussed them out, begging them to lift their game. And lift their games they did. Tragically though, we had to lose icons week after week, with sweet Maria becoming the La Macarena of the season. She was followed out the door by a trio of zaddies, first Drag Chuchi, then Chanel Anorex and then Kelly Roller pop on her skates and headed out the door. The tragedy for my loins was distracted as La Macarena ended her redemption run followed by the iconic Visa. 

Supremme y Co. then went for the ultimate gag by emulating the All Stars 2 revenge of the queens episode. Sadly for them, however, Pitita wasn’t eviserating Visa like Phi Phi was Alyssa. That being said, the comedy show turned out the same with some awkward pairings landing Pink, Pakita and Pitita in the bottom while Kelly returned thanks to a pitch perfect turn with Vania. After Pititia saved herself in the lip sync, Kelly returned to being a power bottom and sent Bestiah out the door.

The top five then made Cinderellas out of waste management staff and while Pitita, Vania and Kelly shone, Clover and Hornella landed in the bottom with Hornella earning her spot in the finale alongside her sisters, sending Clover to the house. The top four then performed in Supremme’s new filmclip before Hornella and Kelly were cut, leaving Vania and Pititia to lip sync for the crown before the latter rightly took out the crown after a dominant performance across the season.

As she arrived backstage with her new crown and sceptor, I pulled Pitita in for a massive hug and congratulated her on a job well done. Despite her sisters feeling the judging was questionable – I’d agree if they were speaking about the Clover hate, but I digress – there is no denying that Pitita never really put a foot wrong. She was stunning, creative, funny and oh so polished, giving a masterclass on how to do Drag Race right, kinda like Trinity the Tuck. But you know, way more likeable. So with that, there was nothing more to do but crown her with a glorious Smokey Lamb Pitita.

This may be a quick and easy mid-week kind of meal, but when it packs this much flavour, it is hard to discount it as perfection. Smokey, spicy and oh so fresh, it will quickly find a way into your regular rotation. Better yet, it uses some Peasa Hummus to help elevate it, which you know Visa would love.

Enjoy!

Smokey Lamb Pitita
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 Pita Andre Breads, halved
2 tbsp dukkah
olive oil
500g lamb mince
1 tsp coriander seeds, ground
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp turmeric
¼ tsp chilli flakes
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1 tomato, diced
1 Lebanese cucumber, diced
¼ cup parsley, finely chopped
2 tsp red wine vinegar
Peasa Hummus, to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C, split the pitas and cover with foil and bake for 10 minutes, or until softened and warmed. Place a frying pan over high heat and cook the dukkah for a minute, or until fragrant. Transfer to a bowl.

Heat a lug of oil in a skillet over high heat. Add the lamb and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon for a minute or so. Add the coriander, cumin, paprika, turmeric and chilli, and cook for a further 5 minutes or until browned and crisp. Season to taste.

Combine the tomato, cucumber and parsley in a bowl with a tablespoon of oil and the red wine vinegar.

To assemble,  smear the pitas with the hummus, fill with the lamb and then the salad. And then devour. Regally.


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Turkey Meatballala Curri

Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the top six improv-ed their way through a true crime series to figure out what happened to Poundcake in a missing season of All Stars. Which is the perfectly delightful mix of camp, stupid and meta. When Kandy once again refused to take another character, Alexis got annoyed and started crying. That in turn annoyed Kandy, who stormed out, completely infuriated by her ongoing theatrics. Not wanting to miss out on the action, Kahanna then threatened to quit because she was over acting challenges, so Ru came and cussed out the girls and all was right in the world. Kahanna and Alexis then landed in the bottom and after Lala demolished Baby Jorgeous, she opted to send home her bestie Kahanna. To a gay gasp from Alexis.

Backstage Lala was feeling very rich, bitch, after her first ever victory, before she explained that while it sucked to send home her sister, she knew it was the right decision given she has been in the bottom so often. Alexis thanked her for her mercy, grateful to Lala for not just saving her but doing the very difficult thing of eliminating her friend. Going so far as to vow that her kindness will not be forgotten. After the dolls crowned Lala their queen, Alexis opened up the box to tally the votes and while everyone voted to keep her, seeing Kandy joke that the vote against Alexis came for her rather than Kahanna was a delightful amount of gaggy, silliness.

Oh and then the dolls played Jimbo’s tatas like bongos as Lala vowed to win another challenge.

The next day Jimbo tossed bologna to the dolls and while they were not feeling it – or its smell – I was once again delighted by her stupidity. Before anyone got physical with her, Ru arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would need to design outfits worthy of five All Stars winners – Trinity, Kylie, Shea, Trixie and Monet. And for winning the last challenge, Lala got to give herself a leg up as she assigned the boxes allegedly belonging to the All Stars. She snatched Shea for herself, gave Trinity to Alexis, Kylie to Jessica and Kandy got Monet, which left Jimbo with Trixie and damn, she really is congenial, as all of those make so much sense. Congenial, but not smart, given now she doesn’t have an advantage.

The dolls split up to clear out their boxes, delighted by each and every thing they could find. Well, except for Kandy who in addition to her patent leathers, she also had an epic supply of sponges. Alexis loved Trinity’s colour palette, while Jessica was delighted to have her Season 2 sister’s box, though nervous because Sonique loves to go see-through and she does not. Jimbo clarified whether the dolls felt they should be trying to look like their winner or whether it was simply meant to be their inspiration. And after they all agreed to just pay homage, she got super distracted, procrastinating and annoying her sisters, thieving their supplies and Jimbo gurl, come up with a plan or you’ll be in danger.

Kandy and Lala were kiking about their plans for their dresses with Lala wanting to serve southern drama, though nervous about potentially choking and going out on another design challenge. Alexis managed to get Jimbo to focus, getting her to share that she would be serving avant garde facekini. Alexis meanwhile opened up about being eliminated on the ball in her original season, though was confident that after taking some sewing lessons, she’d be able to go big and slay a big old drag look. Pivoting back to Kandy, though, she was spiralling, intimidated by how strong everyone else is at designing and how she may just be screwed.

Instead of Ru doing a walk through, Shannel and Raven dropped by and ugh, I love them so much. First up was Jessica and watching the dolls praise her for slaying was so delightful. Though I am nervous that Shannel’s advice to try something outside the box will come back to haunt her. Alexis was up next, talking about how supported she felt after nobody voted for her to go home. Oh and she was super confident about turning a lewk. Kandy meanwhile was living her best life kikiing with the dolls, Lala was happy with her concept and happier to vote Jimbo, should it be needed, which obviously delighted the girls. Almost as much as they were delighted to see Jimbo had Trixie’s box, with her just admitting all she cares about is avoiding the bottom, rather than necessarily winning.

After our OG All Stars disappeared, Kandy stripped down to her padding as everyone started giggling, completely delirious from the competition. And the fact the boys love Kandy’s titties. Alexis tried to get them back on track, chatting to Jimbo about her look. Jimbo admitted that Raven and Shannel loved her ideas, but were more focused on the fact that should she land in the bottom, she will go. Which obviously led to Alexis assuring her that if it ever happened, she wouldn’t dare eliminate her. Because of course. As she turned her attention back to her dress, Jessica opened up about how nervous she is about the upcoming challenge.

Talk turned to their original seasons with Lala thrilled by how much the fans loved her, despite her terrible looks. Or because of them, TBH. Kandy then got a little scissor happy, cutting the titties WAY out and you best believe that was all it took to get her spiralling. Jimbo meanwhile was nailing her look, or at the very least, the parts she had made, because you know that procrastination was coming back to bite her. And while she felt like she would save time in the end by not beating her mug, the dolls thought that was a bad idea. Oh and Lala hated her pattern.

Elimination Day arrived with the top five exhausted after pulling an all nighter to get their outfits done. And while Lala pulled together multiple looks just in case, none of them were tried on with padding and as such, she is in danger. I mean, there isn’t even a zipper. Kandy meanwhile was terrified by her look being too simple, but was more grateful that she finished something. Jimbo meanwhile was still rocking the Janome and despite them heading to the mainstage in 30 minutes, she still had about twenty things to do. While Alexis was just hungry for the win with her pageant number, though worried it wouldn’t be what the judges wanted. Talk turned to the vote ahead, with everyone unsure how they would make their decisions with Alexis assuring Lala that she will not forget the fact she saved her. While Kandy was just nervous about people holding a grudge against her for their past dramas.

Ru, Michelle and the hilarious Ross Mathews were joined by Incubus’ Brandon Boyd, for some reason. Kandy was first up on the I’m A Winner Baby! runway and while her dress was simple, it also fit perfectly and she looked stunning. Jimbo’s look was camp, architectural and absolute perfection. Lala was a tangerine dream, serving shimmering, regal glam and ugh, I love it. Alexis served pageant Statue of Liberty in all the right ways and ugh, just give her the win for the week, as she looks good. While Jessica looked fun and flirty, like an extra at a party in Real Housewives of Miami.

The judges praised Kandy for looking beautiful, though read the look for being too simple, as predicted. Jimbo’s look was praised for being polished, gorgeous and completely demented, exceedingly all of their already high expectations. Lala’s colour choice was beloved, though they felt her look had odd fits. Which she explained was because she ran out of fabric. Alexis meanwhile received wall to wall praise with no notes and yeah, this is in the bag. Jessica’s look was also loved, though not as much as Alexis, who was announced as the winner of this week’s challenge. While Kandy and Lala landed in the bottom for no other reason than some awkward fits.

Backstage Alexis was obviously feeling her oats while Jimbo hilariously struggled to prick a straw through her face so she could drink with the dolls. Not wanting to share the spotlight, Alexis spoke about how much the win meant to her given she was eliminated in a top five design challenge in her first season. She then praised Jessica for being so expensive, who in turn praised Jimbo for slaying. They then all praised Kandy and Lala for still looking stunning before they realised they have the same damn track records. That was enough to get Kandy in her feelings, disappointed to have to fight against her sister to survive.

After letting Kandy have a brief moment, Alexis turned it back to her, reminding everyone she promised to repay the favour to Lala for saving her, though that Kandy is also NYC family. She pulled Lala aside to plead her case first, telling her that she just wants her to keep her though Alexis asked what would happen if she did eliminate her. Kandy meanwhile was opening up to Jimbo and Jessica about how she knows how much she and Lala both want it and she is scared that Alexis will save Lala just because she feels obliged. When they swapped out however, she decided to kiss arse. Until Alexis pointed out she left a secret note for Kandy in the first week, asking to form an alliance. And Kandy left her on read like an icon. So obviously she pretended it was a little accident and meant to reply in the affirmative, like duh! While Lala assured her other sisters that the fair thing to do would be to keep her around. Brandon Boyd then dropped by and well, all anyone cared about was her being a zaddy and while he is straight, his love from drag was sweet, so I will look the other way. This time.

With that the dolls voted before Alexis took her place on stage and Nicky Doll was revealed as this week’s lip sync assassin. As soon as These Boots Are Made For Walking kicked off, both the dolls – no pun intended – were feeling their Nancy oats, though it was clear the camp vibe of the song played to all of Alexis’ strengths, which was all it took to snatch the win. As Nicky took her place at the back of the stage, Kandy and Lala joined Alexis on the mainstage before they were gagged to learn that Lala was eliminated BY THE PERSON SHE SAVED LAST WEEK.

As Lala arrived in the Werk Room, I was well and truly lost in my emotions, screaming and wailing with abandon, heartbroken to have lost our sweet, bag-loving icon. Lala being Lala, she pulled me in for a hug and assured me that despite going home without the crown, she is proud of her run and excited for what she achieved. And while I was still pissed, I couldn’t argue with anything she said – I mean, she slayed – so instead, toasted her run with a Turkey Meatballala Curri.

Rich, spicy and creamy, this quick and easy red curry is near perfection. More importantly, the balls are absolutely jam-packed with flavour. And who doesn’t love a big, flavourful ball.

Enjoy!

Turkey Meatballala Curri
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1kg turkey mince
¾ cup thai basil, roughly chopped
2 shallots, sliced
10 garlic cloves, minced
3 tbsp fish sauce
3 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp kosher salt
2 ½ tbsp red curry paste
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 onion, diced
800ml coconut milk, shaken
2 limes, zested and juiced

Method
Start on the balls – which TBH, is just good life advice in general – combine the mince, a quarter cup thai basil, shallots, half the garlic, two tablespoons of the fish sauce and sugar, cornstarch, two teaspoons of salt and half a tablespoon of curry paste in a large bowl. Scrunch with your hands and form into large(ish) meatballs and place on a lined baking sheet.

Pop the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and sweat the onion for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the remaining garlic and cook for a minute before adding the remaining curry paste and cooking for a further minute. Stir through the coconut milk and bring to the boil. Add the meatballs in and stir to coat before reducing to low and covering, simmering for about 20 minutes or until the balls are cooked through.

Once the balls are hot, hot, hot, stir in the lime zest and juice, the remaining fish sauce and sugar and thai basil. Season to taste. Serve immediately, ideally with rice but TBH, you do you, as long as you devour. Regally.


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Hornella Gingera Beef Meatball Soup

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Soup, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the top five faced the biggest challenge of the season, making over sanitation workers – aka the collective covering cleaners, garbage collectors etc. – into their sister-Cinderellas. Get it? While the season has been a bit of a snooze, there is no denying this theme is on point. In any event, after Pitita won the mini challenge – is there anything she can’t do? – she was given the power to pair the queens and while I would have gone the shady route, she paired them fairly. Which led to Vania pipping her at the post for the win before Kelly joined the in the finale, while Hornella and Clover had to battle out for the final slot. And while Clover once again slayed the lip sync, track records appeared to mean a little bit more as Hornella progressed and poor Clover was sent out in fifth.

But that was then and rather than heading straight into the finale, it is time for the queens to ru-turn and re-une. Or in the case of Visa, have one more shot to cuss out Pitita for winning everything. Sadly, since we know my Spanglish leans far more heavily into the lish, we’re going to be giving you the highlights only. 

After Supremme briefly teased that there would be a secondary title announced in addition to Miss Congeniality, we got a supercut of queens from Season 2 wishing them well and ugh, it was sweet as hell despite the fact it was obvious padding. The early outs praised the top four for lasting longer, with Maria in particular pointing out that the cast must be exceptional if she was the The Macarena of the season. We then got a glimpse of the top four’s audition tapes with Pitita far and away having the best, referencing the AD celebrity home tours and ugh, just crown her now. Oh and Kelly admitted she was close to quitting drag before her friend forced her to apply, which seems to be a running thing across the broader franchises. Wanting to pad out the episode we then saw the rest of the dolls’ audition tapes and while they were a bit of a snooze, it was clear that Clover’s was second best – after Pitita, obviously – which again reminds me how much she has been robbed.

Talk turned to the judges being grumpy throughout the first couple of episodes with everyone agreeing that while it sucked in the moment, they were glad to have had the wake up call and to be able to correct course before the season became a total mess. The next segment dealt with The Macarena and Pink Chadora’s passion for continually flapping their gums, Pitita dishing out unsolicited advice and Visa, Macarena and Pink Chadora’s anger about it. Thankfully Pakita had her back, reminding the dolls that just because she gives out advice, doesn’t mean you have to listen and as such, they only have themselves to blame if they made a misstep because of it. After Visa touched on questioning the fairness of the competition, talk turned to the returning challenge, and Vania’s emotions and the constant looming threat of her leaving. And being horn.

The (original) first four outs then got a chance to read their sisters and let’s just say once the biblioteca opened it was clear we didn’t miss much as only Chanel slayed. Though to be fair, Kelly found herself funny. Next they spoke about everyone naming Kelly as the one who should go home, though Hornella admitted she only said it because she felt she could take it better than Bestiah. Who she legit thought should go.

We then learnt that they would once again be crowning Miss Lost Look – aka the best runway from an eliminated queen, begging the question, why was it announced as something new? In any event, Maria showcased her sexy chicken laying an egg, Chuchi gave glam Golden Girls lanai stripper, Chanel was stunning as a harlequin, Kelly rolled in serving Club Kid, The Macarena slayed with an upside down mug, Visa then lit herself on fire to reveal a stunning red number, Pink Chadora pulled off a mask and spat out an eyeball before Pakita went from sexy gardener to straight up watering her clothes off. Did I mention fire, though? So yeah, Visa easily took it out over Chuchi. Samantha Ballentines then made her triumphant return to announce this year’s Miss Simpatica which thankfully went to sweet Maria Edilia and ugh, you love to see it, you know?

With that, the red lights went off and the season officially wrapped, so I opted to bring some culinary forward a week, taping Hornella on the shoulder and offering her a little comfort. Since the finale is clearly coming down to a battle between Vania and Pitita. Which wasn’t something she loved me telling her, mainly because even that feels like a lie (since Pitita dominated the competition and it is hard to ignore). Thankfully I turned her attention to the fact that despite not taking out any wins, she never, ever put a foot wrong – someone had to land in the bottom at the makeover, I guess – and as such, she will be remembered as a polished icon that was robbed of glory. Well, glory outside of a bowl of Hornella Gingera Beef Meatball Soup.

Soup is essentially the winter version of salad, which I mean it cops a lot of flack for being bland and boring, when it is in fact anything but. And this is proof. Sweet, spicy and with a gorgeous kick of heat, the flavours dance over your tongue and leave you feeling satisfied.

Enjoy!

Hornella Gingera Beef Meatball Soup
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
2 carrots, one grated and one halved and cut into half-moon coins
4 sprigs coriander, leaves and stems finely chopped separately
2 tbsp cornflour
1 ½ tbsp soy sauce
salt and pepper, to taste
500g vermicelli noodles
2L chicken stock
2 tbsp ginger, minced
6 kaffir lime leaves, bruised
3 tbsp fish sauce
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
4 bunches pak choy, cleaned and sliced
4 shallots, sliced
3 bird’s eye chilli, thinly sliced

Method
Combine the beef mince, grated carrot, coriander stems, cornflour and soy sauce in a large bowl and season with a good whack of pepper and a little salt. Scrunch together with your hands and shape into walnut-sized meatballs.

Bring a saucepan of water to boil and once rollicking, add the noodles and cook for 5-7 minutes, or until tender. Drain, rinse under hot water and leave to rest.

To make the soup, combine the stock, ginger, lime leaves, fish sauce and sugar in a large saucepan over medium heat. Stir in the meatballs and remaining carrot, bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for about five minutes.Add the pak choy and cook for a further couple of minutes. Remove from the heat.

Divide the noodles amongst four bowls, ladle over the soup, carrot and balls and garnish with the coriander leaves, shallot and chilli. And devour immediately, like a robbed icon. I said it.


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Turkahannna Mac and Moncheese

Main, Pasta, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars theatre queen Alexis was ready for her hero moment as the dolls were tasked with starring in Joan: The Unauthorised Rusical. Which you just know is going to be as iconic as all things Joan. When it came to the battle for the roles, Kandy put her foot down to snatch the biggest bop which – obviously – covered the no wire hangers years. Jaymes was delightfully demented as mommie dearest, Alexis slayed her country pepsi era, Lala was an icon and Jessica was a star. Oh and Kandy slayed her role, which earnt her the win. While Alexis was only safe, and Lala and Jessica were robbed. Kahanna meanwhile landed in the bottom for getting stuck in her head on the mainstage, while Jaymes’ ill fitting outfit on the runway, somehow, landed her there with her. And after Kandy beat Angeria, she was promptly eliminated. As the robbed queen of the season.

Backstage Kandy was thrilled to take out her first victory – and $30K – while Lala was just living her best life as she felt her Grace Jones oats. After Kandy congratulated herself for looking stunning, the dolls got distracted by Jessica’s perfect, natural teeth before Kahanna counted the votes and gagged the audience when we discovered everyone voted to kick Jaymes out too. They tried to rally around Kahanna and praised her for killing the game, while she admitted that bottoming so often is starting to get to her. Particularly since she hasn’t broken through since the very first week. While Jimbo worried to us that the closer they get to the end, the less likely the dolls are to vote on track record.

The next day Lala was fired up, annoyed to have not won the rusical and ready to snatch victory. No matter the cost, essentially. Ru dropped by before she started anything, announcing that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would star in the hit true crime show, Wha-Ha-Happened to Lil’ Poundcake. Which is, in a word, iconic. After Ru left, the dolls sat down to read through the characters for the little improv moment, which immediately got to Kahanna who was clearly pressed to have another acting challenge. Lala then gave a Kandy moment, refusing to take any other roles and when Alexis stepped aside from her, she tried to negotiate with Kandy for another role, leading to an epic fight before Alexis, once again, stepped back and let Kandy have her other preference, the detective. She then immediately burst into tears, leading to Kandy throwing a tantrum and storming out, refusing to be guilted into giving up the role. As Jimbo and Jessica rubbed Alexis’ back and encouraged her to let it all out. Before they gave each other eyes and laughed as she went outside.

After Alexis came back and things calmed down, Kahanna opted to pull focus and announced that she just can’t face another acting challenge and as such, she is going home. She then wandered around the Werk Room and started packing her stuff, as Jimbo and Jessica looked on in utter confusion, wondering what the hell is going on. While Lala just wanted to have fun. Sensing drama, Ru returned to frame and clearly pissed to be off a break, she cussed them out for getting into their feelings, encouraging them to move on and buck up because they would regret it if they give up their shot in the limelight. Kandy then started to cry and Lala wiped away tears before Kahanna promised to stick around for Ru, and herself, before Ru started giggling over how much Alexis cries and asked them all to just let go and have some fun. Damn it!

With everyone’s heads back in the game, Lala grew more and more excited by the chance to get a star moment and get the win, get the win, get the win. While Kandy cautioned that being in every scene could also hurt her. Kahanna went to Jimbo for a little advice, with her telling her to just find her joy, let go and have fun in the scene. Jessica meanwhile was going into the scene blind and just hoping that being funny will be good enough. Despite having the added challenge of having to translate things on the fly. Alexis approached Kandy to clear the air and oh god it was awkward as she assured Kandy she wants to vibe with her in the challenge and damn, they may have actually moved on.

In the scene Kahanna was surprisingly solid, Jessica was a delight as she listed taco orders and Lala was wild and demented and hot damn, I love her. Kandy was perfect as the bimbo, Jimbo was her usual brand of stupid and Alexis was polished though at the same time, a little rigid and just there. More importantly, when did Ru learn Spanish because this scene was just as long as their rusicals? Though, hey, I’d watch Jimbo read the phonebook, so whatever.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone in a far better mood as they spoke about how much fun they had in the challenge. Jimbo checked in on Kahanna to see if she was feeling better, with Kahanna explaining that she simply felt like she had already peaked and couldn’t make it back to the top. She then thanked Jimbo for turning things around for her, grateful to be able to apply her advice and actually have fun. Kandy and Alexis, meanwhile, spoke about how glad they are to have cleared the air, mainly as they don’t want anyone pissed at them before voting. The dolls spoke about how glad they were for Ru to drop by and cuss them out, given it reminded them to, again, just have fun. They started to get nostalgic about how far they’ve come so far, which obviously also made them nervous about whether they did well enough.

Right on cue, Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Javicia Leslie on the panel as Jessica opened the Miss Fill In The Blank runway serving sexy sausage so obviously, I love everything about it and her successfully avoiding choking. Kahanna was a stunning tired ass showgirl in green and gold, Lala was demented and gorgeous as Miss Bootlegger while Kandy was architectural and frilly as Miss Arrogant. And yeah, it looked good. Alexis was stunning as an iconic kink king aka Miss Manpig and Jimbo, obviously, slayed as Miss Tittsmagee 2003 and I love it. 

Jessica’s look received universal praise while they loved her stupidity in the scene even more. Kahanna’s runway was beloved though she was read for starting out slow in the scene, despite getting strong throughout and just having fun. Everything Lala served this week the judges were living for, while Kandy was read for playing herself in the scene. And for not being on title on the runway (despite it clearly referencing her iconic, arrogant Untucked fight). Jimbo too received top marks for giving classic Jimbo, which is kinda just doing something completely off the hook that nobody would expect. Alexis was praised for having a strong character though read for doing absolutely nothing with it. Though her runway was far and away their favourite. Ultimately though, it was Lala that took out her first win of the season, while Kahanna landed in the bottom alongside Alexis.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to find Lil Poundcake was already untucking before they rallied and praised Lala for killing the challenge. She spoke about how much fun she had in the challenge and how effortless it was and ugh, she is just radiating joy and it is delightful. Talk turned to the bottoms with Alexis agreeing she took things too literally, while Kahanna was just thrilled to have done a better job than her first acting challenge. They then reflected on Ru cussing them out, grateful that it happened and fully aware it needed to happen to snap them out of their feelings.

Lala pulled Alexis aside – well, after accidentally ripping off Poundcake’s arms – who immediately spoke about how rattled she is to be in the bottom, though begged Lala to just remember how strongly she has performed thus far. And then reiterated how much she loves Lala and that she can see her winning, and would love to be there to see it in person. Jessica meanwhile thanked Kahanna for pulling it together and staying, given she wished she was able to have done that for Heidi. Oh and she is proud of how she did in the challenge and how happy she is with the performance. Alexis and Kahanna switched out, with Kahanna focusing on how she is just ready to slay another day and while she has been in the bottom four times, she doesn’t feel like she did a bad job – at all – this week. Oh and Alexis opted against crying with the dolls, instead just assuring them she is focused and knows she has more to give.

With that the dolls voted and Lala took her place on the stage as lil’ Poundcake’s lil’ sister – and Ru’s fave – Jorgeous was revealed to be their week’s lip sync assassin. While she well and truly lives up to the title, Lala was not letting her have it, however. As About Damn Time by Lizzo kicked off, it was clear that this was her moment and you best believe she was going to have it, silly, fierce and oh so charming, she hit every letter and it was an absolute joy to watch. While even Jorgeous looked to just be glad to be there alongside her. Obviously Lala took out victory before the bottoms arrived on stage and she chose mercy, saving Alexis and putting Kahanna out of her misery and sending her to the house. 

Thankfully Ru’s visit earlier in the episode turned Kahanna’s mood around, so when I found her, she was more focused on how well she has done this season, rather than her string of bottoming. Still, I pulled her in for a hug and told her how happy I was for her to get the chance to return and prove to everyone she is a sickening queen (and remind everyone that just because a queen is eliminated early, doesn’t mean they are any less talented). Which was sealed with a big fat bowl of gorgeous – not Jorgeous – Turkahannna Mac and Moncheese.

This tweaked version of one of Antoni Porowski’s best recipes is near perfection. The cheese blend is stunning; punchy, sweet and rich, the seasoning is on point and well, of course I’d say the inclusion of a little garlic just adds even more depth. Run to the kitchen and make this, ASAP.

Enjoy!

Turkahannna Mac and Moncheese
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
500g turkey mince
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
500g macaroni
90g unsalted butter
65g plain flour
½ tsp cayenne pepper
a pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
925ml milk
150g vintage cheddar, grated
150g fontina, grated
150g gruyere, garted
125ml double cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and bring a large pot of very salty water to the boil.

Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for about five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and cook for a further minute before adding the turkey and ¾ teaspoon of salt. Cook, breaking up the meat with a wooden spoon, for about 5 minutes. Stir in ¼ teaspoon of pepper and parsley. Stir and remove from the heat.

The water should be boiling by now, so cook the macaroni for a couple of minutes less than the instructions, drain and set aside.

To make the sauce, melt the butter in a large saucepan over low heat. Once foamy, add the flour and cook, whisking, for about five minutes. Add the cayenne, nutmeg, ¼ tsp salt and a good whack of pepper – or ⅛ teaspoon, if your measure goes that small. Remove the pan from the heat and slowly whisk in the milk until it is all combined. Return to the heat and cook, stirring, for a few minutes, or until starting to thicken. Combine the cheeses in a bowl and add 200g to the pan and cook until the sauce is smooth. Remove from the heat and stir through the pasta with an extra teaspoon of salt.

To assemble, sprinkle 50g of the cheeses on the base of a large baking dish. Top with half the pasta, followed by the turkey, 100g of cheese, the remaining pasta and the remaining cheese. Then, finally but very importantly, pour over the cream and pop in the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until golden and bubbly.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for 10 minutes before serving and devouring, thankful for expert seasoning.


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