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Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger

Burgers, Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under thanks to a perfectly timed fainting episode, Mother Ivory mothered and scored herself a check – I hope – for the third episode. After Rita returned to the Werk Room, inspired and ready for rudemption, she learnt that the dolls would being starring in an improv sketch for the Fake Housewives of Down Under. And was instantly filled with dread. Gabriella on the other hand was positively pumped, confident in finally getting her star turn and being able to snatch the win. Which she promptly did, though TBH, the competition was hardly there. Flor was barking mad, Bumpa was Bumpa – so beloved – while Ivanna just looked to be trapped in her head and Rita was an absolute mess. When it came to the lip sync, Rita once again got her energy back, slaying and saving herself, while poor Ivanna exited stage left.

In the exact same placement as her husband Anita.

Backstage Rita was gagged to have survived her second lip sync in a row, putting it down to her hunger for the competition. While Hollywould pointed out it may just be because she is a lip sync assassin. The dolls meanwhile toasted the heartbroken Ivanna, wishing the judges got to see how joyous and fun she was backstage, since they felt it was lacking in the challenges. Talk turned to Gabriella’s win before Ashley continued her Milk storyline, complaining about how she has now been safe twice and as such, she was hungry for a win. Though Flor assured her that she was too. While Italy’s own Ms. Labucci decided that since she has had a taste of victory, she is well and truly ready for another.

Asking the dolls to catch her as she skated on by.

The next day everyone was feeling positive and ready to face the next challenge. Particularly Flor, given she was happy to get rid of the teams given Bumpa did her head in. Hollywould meanwhile agreed that she was kinda shocked Bumpa was deemed high in the last challenge, before Rita reminded everyone that while she lip synced twice in one episode, she knows her worth and isn’t going to let it impact her. Hopefully not jinxing herself again in the process. Ru interrupted the kiki wheeling out 10 of the hottest Pit Crew members for the dolls to pick out who is wearing matching panties. As is often the case, we all won but Gabriella Labucci won that little bit more. But who cares, packages!

And for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game so really we have no time to dwell on logistics. Simply remember them fondly.

After Ru departed, the dolls split up to talk through their characters with Flor wisely locking in Charo while Bumpa excitedly shared she was doing a famed Opera Singer. Isis meanwhile locked in Gloria Swanson, Hollywould planned to do community service Naomi Campbell and Gabriella, like an icon, was doing Emma Wiggle. Ru dropped by to talk to her new daughters, with Gabriella admitting how nervous she was to live up to the expectations of the judges as a proven comedy queen. And the fact Ru had no idea about The Wiggles. Isis meanwhile had Ru nervous with her choice before Ashley delighted her with her choice of playing Jesus Christ himself. But make it gay. Rita meanwhile thought it was a good idea to play the pioneer of the suffragette movement – Rita gurl, you’re in danger. Thankfully though, after Ru bounced, Isis and Rita spiralled over their choices and both opted to change.

We dropped by the Snatch Game set where Gabriella stuck with Emma Wiggle, Isis pivoted to Donatella Versace, Bumpa stuck with Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, Rita went to Cardi B while Hollywould, Ashley and Flor wisely stuck with their OG choices. While I’d love to say it was finally a winning Down Under Snatch Game, it wasn’t, as Ashley and Isis far and away ran  circles around their sisters. Ashley in particular, talking about Jesus being bred and living out her gay dreams. While Rita was just a mess. But so messy, it was kinda charming?

Elimination Day arrived with Ashley feeling her oats, ready to potentially snatch a win and stamp her place in the contest. While Hollywould exuded confidence, she admitted she was joking and knew she was a mess. Though a gracious mess, as she praised Isis and Ashley for slaying. Ashley in turn felt Bumpa would be joining them in the top, while the rest of the dolls all kinda knew any of them could be going home. Except Flor, who was sure she would be the third top, while Gabriella was simply hoping she would be safe.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Keiynan Lonsdale as the dolls stomped the Night of 1000 Kylie Minogue’s runway. Bumpa was up first, gorgeous in blue and green in Kylie’s showgirl era, Ashley served In My Arms music video, and was glorious, before Flor gave us the green fairy and was stun. Ning. Rita gave the weaker version of the In My Arms music video, though her mug was so, so, so perfect. Hollywould gave cyborg Kylie and was fierce as hell, Isis also gave a more glamorous green fairy before Gabriella gave Delinquents premiere Kylie, rather than Charlene like I desperately hoped from her.

Hollywould and Gabriella were sent to safety before Bumpa was praised for a strong start in Snatch Game, though read for fading throughout. Though her runway was beloved. Ashley meanwhile got wall to wall praise for Snatch Game and her runway. Praised in particular for bringing dignity to her Jesus without losing the jokes. Isis too was absolutely beloved, while Rita’s look received wall to wall praise, though her Snatch Game was truly hated. Flor meanwhile was read for not bringing any comedy to her character work, though they found her outfit cute.

Backstage the dolls caught the safe girls up, with Rita shocked they were safe given she would have put them both in the bottom. Everyone agreed the win was down to Ashley and Isis, before Rita and Flor admitted they were confident they would be lip syncing. And they bloody hated it, given it is Rita’s third in a row. With sweet Gabriella encouraging them to learn the lip sync and use it as the fire to push them further in the competition. Bless.

Ultimately Ashley took out victory as Isis was sent to safety alongside her, before Bumpa was gagged to join them, leaving Rita to serve her third lip sync of the season against Flor. And as soon as the singing budgie’s Secrets kicked off it was clear both girls had the fire Gabriella requested, though Flor’s experience proved to give her a little edge. Hitting every lyric and slaying the game. Which was enough to save her and send sweet Rita Menu out of the race. 

While she wished she read a fucking book – included only because it was a glorious exit line – I assured her that if we learnt anything from the Book Ball in Season 8, it is that illiteracy is hilarious. I pulled her in for a hug and told her she should be so proud of how well she did in the competition, and honestly, could have gone a lot further if not for a bad run of challenges for a non-comedy queen. Which proved to delight her enough to wipe away her tears and sit down to enjoy a piping hot Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger.

Despite the gastronomic delights of The Menu, the dish that has everyone salivating is its gloriously simple burger. And after sampling a version compositing all the copycats I could find on the internet, I know why. Crunchy and umami, sweet and gooey, this perfect burger has everything and will keep you coming back again and again.

Enjoy!

Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g 80/20 beef mince
1 tsp kosher salt
½ tsp black pepper, ground
½ small onion, thinly sliced
4 slices American cheese
2 Briocher Bünsberg, toasted
your favourite burger sauce – I can’t go past the one from Smoke Shacqui Patterson – and dill pickle chips, to serve

Method
Divide the beef evenly into 4 portions and gently roll into meatballs, working as little as possible so you can still see the strings of the mincing. Pop on a plate and place in the freezer for no more than 15 minutes.

Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and get the air vent going or open up your windows, as there will be smoke. You will know the pan is hot enough if you splash water in the pan and it balls up and rolls along the surface. Place the balls in the hot skillet, top with a square of parchment and using a large metal spatula, flatten each into a patty. Sprinkle each with a little salt and pepper, followed by some sliced onion.

Once the base of the patties have crisped – about 90 seconds or so should do – flip over, season the tops and top with a slice of cheese, and cook until the bottoms are gloriously crisp.

To assemble, smear some sauce on the base of the buns, top with some pickle chips, followed by the two patties and close. Then devour, gloriously.


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Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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Turkey Meatballala Curri

Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the top six improv-ed their way through a true crime series to figure out what happened to Poundcake in a missing season of All Stars. Which is the perfectly delightful mix of camp, stupid and meta. When Kandy once again refused to take another character, Alexis got annoyed and started crying. That in turn annoyed Kandy, who stormed out, completely infuriated by her ongoing theatrics. Not wanting to miss out on the action, Kahanna then threatened to quit because she was over acting challenges, so Ru came and cussed out the girls and all was right in the world. Kahanna and Alexis then landed in the bottom and after Lala demolished Baby Jorgeous, she opted to send home her bestie Kahanna. To a gay gasp from Alexis.

Backstage Lala was feeling very rich, bitch, after her first ever victory, before she explained that while it sucked to send home her sister, she knew it was the right decision given she has been in the bottom so often. Alexis thanked her for her mercy, grateful to Lala for not just saving her but doing the very difficult thing of eliminating her friend. Going so far as to vow that her kindness will not be forgotten. After the dolls crowned Lala their queen, Alexis opened up the box to tally the votes and while everyone voted to keep her, seeing Kandy joke that the vote against Alexis came for her rather than Kahanna was a delightful amount of gaggy, silliness.

Oh and then the dolls played Jimbo’s tatas like bongos as Lala vowed to win another challenge.

The next day Jimbo tossed bologna to the dolls and while they were not feeling it – or its smell – I was once again delighted by her stupidity. Before anyone got physical with her, Ru arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would need to design outfits worthy of five All Stars winners – Trinity, Kylie, Shea, Trixie and Monet. And for winning the last challenge, Lala got to give herself a leg up as she assigned the boxes allegedly belonging to the All Stars. She snatched Shea for herself, gave Trinity to Alexis, Kylie to Jessica and Kandy got Monet, which left Jimbo with Trixie and damn, she really is congenial, as all of those make so much sense. Congenial, but not smart, given now she doesn’t have an advantage.

The dolls split up to clear out their boxes, delighted by each and every thing they could find. Well, except for Kandy who in addition to her patent leathers, she also had an epic supply of sponges. Alexis loved Trinity’s colour palette, while Jessica was delighted to have her Season 2 sister’s box, though nervous because Sonique loves to go see-through and she does not. Jimbo clarified whether the dolls felt they should be trying to look like their winner or whether it was simply meant to be their inspiration. And after they all agreed to just pay homage, she got super distracted, procrastinating and annoying her sisters, thieving their supplies and Jimbo gurl, come up with a plan or you’ll be in danger.

Kandy and Lala were kiking about their plans for their dresses with Lala wanting to serve southern drama, though nervous about potentially choking and going out on another design challenge. Alexis managed to get Jimbo to focus, getting her to share that she would be serving avant garde facekini. Alexis meanwhile opened up about being eliminated on the ball in her original season, though was confident that after taking some sewing lessons, she’d be able to go big and slay a big old drag look. Pivoting back to Kandy, though, she was spiralling, intimidated by how strong everyone else is at designing and how she may just be screwed.

Instead of Ru doing a walk through, Shannel and Raven dropped by and ugh, I love them so much. First up was Jessica and watching the dolls praise her for slaying was so delightful. Though I am nervous that Shannel’s advice to try something outside the box will come back to haunt her. Alexis was up next, talking about how supported she felt after nobody voted for her to go home. Oh and she was super confident about turning a lewk. Kandy meanwhile was living her best life kikiing with the dolls, Lala was happy with her concept and happier to vote Jimbo, should it be needed, which obviously delighted the girls. Almost as much as they were delighted to see Jimbo had Trixie’s box, with her just admitting all she cares about is avoiding the bottom, rather than necessarily winning.

After our OG All Stars disappeared, Kandy stripped down to her padding as everyone started giggling, completely delirious from the competition. And the fact the boys love Kandy’s titties. Alexis tried to get them back on track, chatting to Jimbo about her look. Jimbo admitted that Raven and Shannel loved her ideas, but were more focused on the fact that should she land in the bottom, she will go. Which obviously led to Alexis assuring her that if it ever happened, she wouldn’t dare eliminate her. Because of course. As she turned her attention back to her dress, Jessica opened up about how nervous she is about the upcoming challenge.

Talk turned to their original seasons with Lala thrilled by how much the fans loved her, despite her terrible looks. Or because of them, TBH. Kandy then got a little scissor happy, cutting the titties WAY out and you best believe that was all it took to get her spiralling. Jimbo meanwhile was nailing her look, or at the very least, the parts she had made, because you know that procrastination was coming back to bite her. And while she felt like she would save time in the end by not beating her mug, the dolls thought that was a bad idea. Oh and Lala hated her pattern.

Elimination Day arrived with the top five exhausted after pulling an all nighter to get their outfits done. And while Lala pulled together multiple looks just in case, none of them were tried on with padding and as such, she is in danger. I mean, there isn’t even a zipper. Kandy meanwhile was terrified by her look being too simple, but was more grateful that she finished something. Jimbo meanwhile was still rocking the Janome and despite them heading to the mainstage in 30 minutes, she still had about twenty things to do. While Alexis was just hungry for the win with her pageant number, though worried it wouldn’t be what the judges wanted. Talk turned to the vote ahead, with everyone unsure how they would make their decisions with Alexis assuring Lala that she will not forget the fact she saved her. While Kandy was just nervous about people holding a grudge against her for their past dramas.

Ru, Michelle and the hilarious Ross Mathews were joined by Incubus’ Brandon Boyd, for some reason. Kandy was first up on the I’m A Winner Baby! runway and while her dress was simple, it also fit perfectly and she looked stunning. Jimbo’s look was camp, architectural and absolute perfection. Lala was a tangerine dream, serving shimmering, regal glam and ugh, I love it. Alexis served pageant Statue of Liberty in all the right ways and ugh, just give her the win for the week, as she looks good. While Jessica looked fun and flirty, like an extra at a party in Real Housewives of Miami.

The judges praised Kandy for looking beautiful, though read the look for being too simple, as predicted. Jimbo’s look was praised for being polished, gorgeous and completely demented, exceedingly all of their already high expectations. Lala’s colour choice was beloved, though they felt her look had odd fits. Which she explained was because she ran out of fabric. Alexis meanwhile received wall to wall praise with no notes and yeah, this is in the bag. Jessica’s look was also loved, though not as much as Alexis, who was announced as the winner of this week’s challenge. While Kandy and Lala landed in the bottom for no other reason than some awkward fits.

Backstage Alexis was obviously feeling her oats while Jimbo hilariously struggled to prick a straw through her face so she could drink with the dolls. Not wanting to share the spotlight, Alexis spoke about how much the win meant to her given she was eliminated in a top five design challenge in her first season. She then praised Jessica for being so expensive, who in turn praised Jimbo for slaying. They then all praised Kandy and Lala for still looking stunning before they realised they have the same damn track records. That was enough to get Kandy in her feelings, disappointed to have to fight against her sister to survive.

After letting Kandy have a brief moment, Alexis turned it back to her, reminding everyone she promised to repay the favour to Lala for saving her, though that Kandy is also NYC family. She pulled Lala aside to plead her case first, telling her that she just wants her to keep her though Alexis asked what would happen if she did eliminate her. Kandy meanwhile was opening up to Jimbo and Jessica about how she knows how much she and Lala both want it and she is scared that Alexis will save Lala just because she feels obliged. When they swapped out however, she decided to kiss arse. Until Alexis pointed out she left a secret note for Kandy in the first week, asking to form an alliance. And Kandy left her on read like an icon. So obviously she pretended it was a little accident and meant to reply in the affirmative, like duh! While Lala assured her other sisters that the fair thing to do would be to keep her around. Brandon Boyd then dropped by and well, all anyone cared about was her being a zaddy and while he is straight, his love from drag was sweet, so I will look the other way. This time.

With that the dolls voted before Alexis took her place on stage and Nicky Doll was revealed as this week’s lip sync assassin. As soon as These Boots Are Made For Walking kicked off, both the dolls – no pun intended – were feeling their Nancy oats, though it was clear the camp vibe of the song played to all of Alexis’ strengths, which was all it took to snatch the win. As Nicky took her place at the back of the stage, Kandy and Lala joined Alexis on the mainstage before they were gagged to learn that Lala was eliminated BY THE PERSON SHE SAVED LAST WEEK.

As Lala arrived in the Werk Room, I was well and truly lost in my emotions, screaming and wailing with abandon, heartbroken to have lost our sweet, bag-loving icon. Lala being Lala, she pulled me in for a hug and assured me that despite going home without the crown, she is proud of her run and excited for what she achieved. And while I was still pissed, I couldn’t argue with anything she said – I mean, she slayed – so instead, toasted her run with a Turkey Meatballala Curri.

Rich, spicy and creamy, this quick and easy red curry is near perfection. More importantly, the balls are absolutely jam-packed with flavour. And who doesn’t love a big, flavourful ball.

Enjoy!

Turkey Meatballala Curri
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1kg turkey mince
¾ cup thai basil, roughly chopped
2 shallots, sliced
10 garlic cloves, minced
3 tbsp fish sauce
3 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp kosher salt
2 ½ tbsp red curry paste
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 onion, diced
800ml coconut milk, shaken
2 limes, zested and juiced

Method
Start on the balls – which TBH, is just good life advice in general – combine the mince, a quarter cup thai basil, shallots, half the garlic, two tablespoons of the fish sauce and sugar, cornstarch, two teaspoons of salt and half a tablespoon of curry paste in a large bowl. Scrunch with your hands and form into large(ish) meatballs and place on a lined baking sheet.

Pop the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and sweat the onion for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the remaining garlic and cook for a minute before adding the remaining curry paste and cooking for a further minute. Stir through the coconut milk and bring to the boil. Add the meatballs in and stir to coat before reducing to low and covering, simmering for about 20 minutes or until the balls are cooked through.

Once the balls are hot, hot, hot, stir in the lime zest and juice, the remaining fish sauce and sugar and thai basil. Season to taste. Serve immediately, ideally with rice but TBH, you do you, as long as you devour. Regally.


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Turkahannna Mac and Moncheese

Main, Pasta, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars theatre queen Alexis was ready for her hero moment as the dolls were tasked with starring in Joan: The Unauthorised Rusical. Which you just know is going to be as iconic as all things Joan. When it came to the battle for the roles, Kandy put her foot down to snatch the biggest bop which – obviously – covered the no wire hangers years. Jaymes was delightfully demented as mommie dearest, Alexis slayed her country pepsi era, Lala was an icon and Jessica was a star. Oh and Kandy slayed her role, which earnt her the win. While Alexis was only safe, and Lala and Jessica were robbed. Kahanna meanwhile landed in the bottom for getting stuck in her head on the mainstage, while Jaymes’ ill fitting outfit on the runway, somehow, landed her there with her. And after Kandy beat Angeria, she was promptly eliminated. As the robbed queen of the season.

Backstage Kandy was thrilled to take out her first victory – and $30K – while Lala was just living her best life as she felt her Grace Jones oats. After Kandy congratulated herself for looking stunning, the dolls got distracted by Jessica’s perfect, natural teeth before Kahanna counted the votes and gagged the audience when we discovered everyone voted to kick Jaymes out too. They tried to rally around Kahanna and praised her for killing the game, while she admitted that bottoming so often is starting to get to her. Particularly since she hasn’t broken through since the very first week. While Jimbo worried to us that the closer they get to the end, the less likely the dolls are to vote on track record.

The next day Lala was fired up, annoyed to have not won the rusical and ready to snatch victory. No matter the cost, essentially. Ru dropped by before she started anything, announcing that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would star in the hit true crime show, Wha-Ha-Happened to Lil’ Poundcake. Which is, in a word, iconic. After Ru left, the dolls sat down to read through the characters for the little improv moment, which immediately got to Kahanna who was clearly pressed to have another acting challenge. Lala then gave a Kandy moment, refusing to take any other roles and when Alexis stepped aside from her, she tried to negotiate with Kandy for another role, leading to an epic fight before Alexis, once again, stepped back and let Kandy have her other preference, the detective. She then immediately burst into tears, leading to Kandy throwing a tantrum and storming out, refusing to be guilted into giving up the role. As Jimbo and Jessica rubbed Alexis’ back and encouraged her to let it all out. Before they gave each other eyes and laughed as she went outside.

After Alexis came back and things calmed down, Kahanna opted to pull focus and announced that she just can’t face another acting challenge and as such, she is going home. She then wandered around the Werk Room and started packing her stuff, as Jimbo and Jessica looked on in utter confusion, wondering what the hell is going on. While Lala just wanted to have fun. Sensing drama, Ru returned to frame and clearly pissed to be off a break, she cussed them out for getting into their feelings, encouraging them to move on and buck up because they would regret it if they give up their shot in the limelight. Kandy then started to cry and Lala wiped away tears before Kahanna promised to stick around for Ru, and herself, before Ru started giggling over how much Alexis cries and asked them all to just let go and have some fun. Damn it!

With everyone’s heads back in the game, Lala grew more and more excited by the chance to get a star moment and get the win, get the win, get the win. While Kandy cautioned that being in every scene could also hurt her. Kahanna went to Jimbo for a little advice, with her telling her to just find her joy, let go and have fun in the scene. Jessica meanwhile was going into the scene blind and just hoping that being funny will be good enough. Despite having the added challenge of having to translate things on the fly. Alexis approached Kandy to clear the air and oh god it was awkward as she assured Kandy she wants to vibe with her in the challenge and damn, they may have actually moved on.

In the scene Kahanna was surprisingly solid, Jessica was a delight as she listed taco orders and Lala was wild and demented and hot damn, I love her. Kandy was perfect as the bimbo, Jimbo was her usual brand of stupid and Alexis was polished though at the same time, a little rigid and just there. More importantly, when did Ru learn Spanish because this scene was just as long as their rusicals? Though, hey, I’d watch Jimbo read the phonebook, so whatever.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone in a far better mood as they spoke about how much fun they had in the challenge. Jimbo checked in on Kahanna to see if she was feeling better, with Kahanna explaining that she simply felt like she had already peaked and couldn’t make it back to the top. She then thanked Jimbo for turning things around for her, grateful to be able to apply her advice and actually have fun. Kandy and Alexis, meanwhile, spoke about how glad they are to have cleared the air, mainly as they don’t want anyone pissed at them before voting. The dolls spoke about how glad they were for Ru to drop by and cuss them out, given it reminded them to, again, just have fun. They started to get nostalgic about how far they’ve come so far, which obviously also made them nervous about whether they did well enough.

Right on cue, Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Javicia Leslie on the panel as Jessica opened the Miss Fill In The Blank runway serving sexy sausage so obviously, I love everything about it and her successfully avoiding choking. Kahanna was a stunning tired ass showgirl in green and gold, Lala was demented and gorgeous as Miss Bootlegger while Kandy was architectural and frilly as Miss Arrogant. And yeah, it looked good. Alexis was stunning as an iconic kink king aka Miss Manpig and Jimbo, obviously, slayed as Miss Tittsmagee 2003 and I love it. 

Jessica’s look received universal praise while they loved her stupidity in the scene even more. Kahanna’s runway was beloved though she was read for starting out slow in the scene, despite getting strong throughout and just having fun. Everything Lala served this week the judges were living for, while Kandy was read for playing herself in the scene. And for not being on title on the runway (despite it clearly referencing her iconic, arrogant Untucked fight). Jimbo too received top marks for giving classic Jimbo, which is kinda just doing something completely off the hook that nobody would expect. Alexis was praised for having a strong character though read for doing absolutely nothing with it. Though her runway was far and away their favourite. Ultimately though, it was Lala that took out her first win of the season, while Kahanna landed in the bottom alongside Alexis.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to find Lil Poundcake was already untucking before they rallied and praised Lala for killing the challenge. She spoke about how much fun she had in the challenge and how effortless it was and ugh, she is just radiating joy and it is delightful. Talk turned to the bottoms with Alexis agreeing she took things too literally, while Kahanna was just thrilled to have done a better job than her first acting challenge. They then reflected on Ru cussing them out, grateful that it happened and fully aware it needed to happen to snap them out of their feelings.

Lala pulled Alexis aside – well, after accidentally ripping off Poundcake’s arms – who immediately spoke about how rattled she is to be in the bottom, though begged Lala to just remember how strongly she has performed thus far. And then reiterated how much she loves Lala and that she can see her winning, and would love to be there to see it in person. Jessica meanwhile thanked Kahanna for pulling it together and staying, given she wished she was able to have done that for Heidi. Oh and she is proud of how she did in the challenge and how happy she is with the performance. Alexis and Kahanna switched out, with Kahanna focusing on how she is just ready to slay another day and while she has been in the bottom four times, she doesn’t feel like she did a bad job – at all – this week. Oh and Alexis opted against crying with the dolls, instead just assuring them she is focused and knows she has more to give.

With that the dolls voted and Lala took her place on the stage as lil’ Poundcake’s lil’ sister – and Ru’s fave – Jorgeous was revealed to be their week’s lip sync assassin. While she well and truly lives up to the title, Lala was not letting her have it, however. As About Damn Time by Lizzo kicked off, it was clear that this was her moment and you best believe she was going to have it, silly, fierce and oh so charming, she hit every letter and it was an absolute joy to watch. While even Jorgeous looked to just be glad to be there alongside her. Obviously Lala took out victory before the bottoms arrived on stage and she chose mercy, saving Alexis and putting Kahanna out of her misery and sending her to the house. 

Thankfully Ru’s visit earlier in the episode turned Kahanna’s mood around, so when I found her, she was more focused on how well she has done this season, rather than her string of bottoming. Still, I pulled her in for a hug and told her how happy I was for her to get the chance to return and prove to everyone she is a sickening queen (and remind everyone that just because a queen is eliminated early, doesn’t mean they are any less talented). Which was sealed with a big fat bowl of gorgeous – not Jorgeous – Turkahannna Mac and Moncheese.

This tweaked version of one of Antoni Porowski’s best recipes is near perfection. The cheese blend is stunning; punchy, sweet and rich, the seasoning is on point and well, of course I’d say the inclusion of a little garlic just adds even more depth. Run to the kitchen and make this, ASAP.

Enjoy!

Turkahannna Mac and Moncheese
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
500g turkey mince
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
500g macaroni
90g unsalted butter
65g plain flour
½ tsp cayenne pepper
a pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
925ml milk
150g vintage cheddar, grated
150g fontina, grated
150g gruyere, garted
125ml double cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and bring a large pot of very salty water to the boil.

Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for about five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and cook for a further minute before adding the turkey and ¾ teaspoon of salt. Cook, breaking up the meat with a wooden spoon, for about 5 minutes. Stir in ¼ teaspoon of pepper and parsley. Stir and remove from the heat.

The water should be boiling by now, so cook the macaroni for a couple of minutes less than the instructions, drain and set aside.

To make the sauce, melt the butter in a large saucepan over low heat. Once foamy, add the flour and cook, whisking, for about five minutes. Add the cayenne, nutmeg, ¼ tsp salt and a good whack of pepper – or ⅛ teaspoon, if your measure goes that small. Remove the pan from the heat and slowly whisk in the milk until it is all combined. Return to the heat and cook, stirring, for a few minutes, or until starting to thicken. Combine the cheeses in a bowl and add 200g to the pan and cook until the sauce is smooth. Remove from the heat and stir through the pasta with an extra teaspoon of salt.

To assemble, sprinkle 50g of the cheeses on the base of a large baking dish. Top with half the pasta, followed by the turkey, 100g of cheese, the remaining pasta and the remaining cheese. Then, finally but very importantly, pour over the cream and pop in the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until golden and bubbly.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for 10 minutes before serving and devouring, thankful for expert seasoning.


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Kelly Rissoller

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls threw a little ball, and by little, you know it was a mammoth undertaking which nearly broke all of our sweet icons. Dedicated to los Colores, Sabores and Regiones of Spain. The latter being one that needed to be prepared in the Werk Room, where the dolls would do a modern take on their traditional dress. Poor Chanel lacked cohesion, Kelly lacked polish and Clover was apparently sloppy – Liza Minelli, lies – while Pakita and Pitita slayed each and every category, with the latter ultimately scoring her first win of the season. Thankfully the judges came to their senses when it counted, saving Clover and leaving Kelly and Chanel to lip sync for their safety. With our skating queen slaying her fellow zaddy Chanel, who sashayed away to await a chance to return.

Backstage the dolls toasted Chanel’s run, while Kelly was obviously thrilled to have done enough to save herself and more focused on that. The Macarena was obviously thrilled to be continuing to extend her record, before everyone praised Pitita for dominating the ball. Well, except for Pakita, who just wanted to bring her down next week, given she felt – rightly – she was just as good as Pitita in the ball.

The next day the dolls were already un poco cansado from the competition, but assured each other they were primed and ready to fight. Talk turned to fact they were expecting an acting challenge right about now, which obviously summoned Supremme quicker than you could say Candyman three times. She promptly wheeled out the zaddy Pit Crew – seriously, Espana, thank you – with all the dolls having to pop a balloon against the zaddies bodies to decide on teams for the as yet unconfirmed challenge.

Macarena rimmed her way to team blue, Bestiah but to but her way to yellow, Vania fucked her way to pink, as did Kelly before Pink went crotch to crotch for pink, which is fitting. Pitita fisted to yellow, Pakita got zaddy to bite her balloon on her way to yellow, Hornella got back to fucking – God does want that, after all – on the way to pink before Clover pegged her way to blue. And then Visa pounded over to blue too. Supremme then announced that the three groups would each star in a short horror film with Team Rosa getting El Guarranato, Drag Rec would star team yellow, and blue would perform in Las Otras.

After Supremme and the Pit Crew disappeared the groups split up to work through their scenes with Team Rosa thrilled by theirs, feeling like the parts were almost written for them. So instead they turned their attention to talking smack about their sisters. Despite feeling like Pitita would do a bad job – given she wouldn’t be able to look glam – Pitita and Co were confident in their lines and ready to stay on top. Given the trio currently have the best track records. Macarena, Clover and Visa meanwhile were just vibing, giggling at their script and calmly dividing up the roles.

Team El Guarranato were first to film with Supremme and Paco Plaza where Kelly struggled to find her character. Pink was obviously a camp delight, Vania was a giddy little pig while Hornella played mad scientist to perfection. With an out of control moustache only adding to her performance. Team Las Otras were committed and fun, despite not really performing to the correct cameras. Oh and shout out to Maria Edilla who gave a star turn in a cameo performance. Rounding out filming, Team Drag Rec were hopefully getting the fake out edit as while they got the most direction and rattlesnakes, they appeared to be the most cohesive and funny to me

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone ready to throw down, shading each other’s scene while pumping themselves up. Eventually they parked their feuds to go beat their mugs as Kelly told Bestiah about how people have jerked off while watching her perform. Hornella, Pakita and Clover joined the conversation, opening up about how traumatic it is to be blatantly objectified while working and how scared it makes them feel to not even be able to go about their jobs without being made to feel uncomfortable. Visa and Pitita meanwhile were bonding over their families, with Patita gagged by her life, learning that Visa’s abusive father died a month after being in an explosion at home. And how she has tried to work through the trauma of grieving someone she may not have really liked.

Because obviously España is going to give us emotion.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Paco Plaza on the judges table as the dolls stomped the Mi Peor Yo runway with Vania serving sexy purple spider queen. Kelly Roller was a black and gold roller girl, Hornella was a locked up glamazon, complete with rose reveal worthy of Sasha Velour while Pink Chadora served messed up Virgin Mary realness. The Macarena gave redemption to her first runway, complete with a snatched wig for the drama. Clover slayed with a stunning afro look which speaks to me on a deep level, given I am a curly icon and feel the ode to styling. Visa was then literally fire as a demon doll before she set herself aflame in honour of her dad’s tragic accident. Pitita meanwhile served full gothic glamour in honour of Max – black and white forever – Bestiah was a demented delight spewing up a bloody head before Pakita closed the show with a gorgeous Barbie look before she removed her wig to serve all the drama.

When it came to the films, El Guarranato was super creepy with all the dolls and clowns in the opening. And while Kelly had herself in hysterics, she wasn’t exactly great. Pink and Vania on the other hand definitely were giving camp silliness at the right level. Though it was Hornella who ultimately ended up stealing the scene, giving passion, drama and comedy in equal measure. Drag Rec meanwhile proved my suspicions correct as the trio of Bestiah, Pitita and Pakita stayed on top, giving us everything and more and making for an actually enjoyable scene. In Drag Race. Which, yeah, is impressive. While Las Otras – the only reference I actually know, tragically – was silly and camp in all the right ways, despite it making absolutely no sense whatsoever.

After the judges praised everyone for doing well, they promptly sent Vania, Hornella, Pink and Bestiah to safety. Kelly was praised for being a delight on set and though read for playing the straight role in the scene as a bit too straight. And for giving a pedestrian look on the runway. The Macarena received wall to wall praise for her performance in the scene and for leaning into her past failures to serve a killer runway. Clover meanwhile was read for slipping in and out of character, though praised for a stunning runway. Visa was praised for the humanity she brought to the runway, despite being lost in the scene. Pitita, obviously, received universal praise for all that he did, from giving AMC’s own Nicole Kidman in the scene and giving a stunning cigar on the runway. And Pakita will make a very deserving runner-up, again, beloved but just a little less than Pitita.

Backstage the safe girls were busy celebrating, none more so than Bestiah who was sure she was going to bomb the challenge. They all agreed that any of the tops could take out the win, though were very concerned about how Kelly would avoid elimination once again. Speaking of the other dolls, volven backstage with Kelly admitting she will totally be in the bottom, but was simply hopeful it wasn’t against Clover who would clearly win. Pakita admitted the win is down to her and Pitita, who was shocked by how much they loved her. Being a humble queen, she praised The Macarena for her star moment, who admitted that it was nice to get praise, finally, after five episodes over two seasons. While Cloved was fired up and oh god, for Kelly’s zaddy sake, I hope it is Visa in the bottom with her instead. Because you know Clover will absolutely demolish.

Ultimately Pitita took out her second win of the season, sending Pakita and The Macarena to safety alongside her. At the other end of the pack, it was Visa that narrowly avoided lip syncing. And as predicted by both myself and Kelly, Clover came to play. As soon as Ay Mama by Rigoberta Bandini began she was right in the pocket. She gave emotion, drama and skin, and despite a sore ankle, used literally every corner of the stage as she fed us. Kelly meanwhile was not to be counted out, proving why she is an absolute legend as she skated her way across the stage once again. Tragically for her, it wasn’t enough as Clover was sent to safety leaving Kelly to roll out of the competition. Well, until a cameo or the return challenge, that is.

As she hot wheeled into the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug – or as massive as it could be around her broad, strapping shoulders – and assured her that she was robbed. Though I pointed out that out of the dolls eliminated thus far, I feel like she has the best shot of making a triumphant return. Full disclosure though, I was also thinking with my peen. It was enough to cheer her up however, so we quickly pivoted to kikiing and coming up with a gameplay as to how she can win the crown as a returning queen. Aka Chris Underwood-ing it. And while I don’t want to toot my own horn, I feel Kelly Rissoller play a critical role.



Emphasis on toot, given these babies are packed full of beans, filling the rissoles with a delightful earthy flavour that pairs perfectly with the tang of onion and the kick of chilli. Aka, a perfect trinity.

Enjoy!



Kelly Rissoller
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
400g can black beans, drained
500g beef mince
5 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp hot chilli sauce
½ cup breadcrumbs
1 onion, diced
1 tsp cumin
½ tsp ground coriander seeds
1 egg, whisked
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop the black beans in a bowl and gently mash them so you have a combination of whole and split beans. Add the rest of the ingredients to the bowl and scrunch to combine using your hands. Divide into 12 small patties, place on a lined plate, cover and pop in the fridge to set for half an hour.

When you’re ready to go, pop a skillet over medium heat and once nice and hot, brush with some oil and add the patties – four at a time – and cook for 5 minutes. Flip and cook for a further few minutes, or until nice browned and cooked through.

Serve immediately with salad and salsa, or my fave, mash. Either way, devour.


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Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España fresh off their first challenge – and first time surviving a first episode for The Macarena – Supremme tasked her newest queens with celebrating Eurovision. In a little geography based mini challenge, followed by an epic dance challenge. After The Macarena won the mini, she was given the power to select a rival team captain as the duos built their crews. Despite Clover doing that, it was Pink Cahdora that took out the ultimate win from Team The Macarena. Meanwhile Chuchi landed in the bottom two yet again after dedicating most of her time to helping her sisters in the challenge, before she was tragically sent home by Vania.

Backstage Vanie was giddy to have survived, though heartbroken it came at the cost of Chuchi’s place in the competition. While Hornella was just thrilled to still have her bestie around. And well, Vania too was busy focusing her rage against The Macarena anyway, more than ready to send her home ASAP. Before the revenge arc could commence, the dolls praised Pink Chadora for winning the challenge particularly since nobody actually felt she had a shot in hell. With Bestiah in particular pressed that someone that can not even dance managed to take out the dance challenge, which is relatable, but probably says more about how the judges see everyone else.

The next day the mood was once again perky and camp as the top eleven stomped their way back into the Werk Room celebrating Vania as their new Lip Sync Assassin. After another shout out to Chuchi, talk turned to how hard the judges were coming for them as Supremme warned them that they needed to serve more polish if they want to make it much further. While Chanel lol’d about Pink’s moustache and the fact Visa doesn’t tuck, though seductively suggested if she tried, she would have to tape it to her shoulder. Like Yvie. Insert Jinkx reflecting on life while snorting joke, which is a perfect reference for any and all situations, TBH.

Supremme made her return to put the dolls through their paces in this week’s maxi challenge, the big, bad ball! Which this year was Celebrating Spanish Culture. And for the final category, they would stomp in something they make using traditional regional costumes as their inspiration. And since Pink won the last challenge, she was given the power to assign them. She took the Salamanca suit for herself, Chanel got the Euskadi suit, Valencia for Pakita, Madrid went to Bestiah, Extremadura for Pitita, Aragon to Hornella, Asturias to Kelly, Canary Islands went to Visa and La Rioja to The Macarena, leaving the Flamenco for Clover and Pubilla to Vania. While the first two categories would be celebrations of colour and flavours of Spain.

With that Supremme bid them adios, leaving the dolls to rifle through supplies and come up with a plan for their third outfit. Clover appeared to be having a great time, emulating the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally while Bestiah was crapping herself. Vania meanwhile was thrilled to be playing within her wheelhouse, given she was so out of her element last week and now everyone else knows how she felt. Though Pitata was trying her best to help everyone, bless. Whether Chanel believed her intentions were pure or not. Kelly and Chanel were busy shading Pink Chadora for strategically allocating their inspiration, and while she denied it, she totally was being shady. As she should.

Supremme made a triumphant return to kiki with her daughters alongside Ana, with them loving Pink’s concept and the fact she was staying within her brand. Pitita served confidence in her skills and seemed to leave the judges wanting more, Clover meanwhile was nervous after Ana suggested making a negligee. Pakita meanwhile vowed to show off skin, whether it was appropriate for the region, assuring us that she was going to trust her instincts. The Macarena planned to serve wedding dress, using the anniversary of her father’s death to push her over the line. Visa on the other hand was thrilled to be celebrating her Mexican heritage through her look, particularly after Ana advised her on a few killer changes. Vania vowed to sell slutty icon queen of hearts, Bestiah talked around her nerves, focusing on making her aunt proud through her look. Kelly meanwhile was getting by with hot glue and a prayer and Hornella was just in her feels and hoping for the best.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone exhausted after pulling an all nighter on their final looks, as Pakita suggested she was kept up by the hammering sound of sex among the girls. After nobody fessed up – despite Kelly’s awkward face – Visa admitted she was shocked by how difficult the challenge was, always assuming it just looked horrible on TV, but was actually fine. While Pitita whipped out a headlamp and confused the hell out of each and every one of them. Clover meanwhile was disappointed in her look – those damn flamenco ruffles – though vowed to sell it to avoid the lip sync. As the dolls split up to beat their mugs, Hornella checked in with The Macarena who opened up about being quiet since her return to the competition due to the fact she is in recovery and how the shame made it difficult for her to open up to others.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Palomo Spain as Pakita opened the Colores runway in a stunning shade of green in honour of Carmina. Hornella was camp, lace-hatted patchwork perfection, Pink Chadora served white thistle glam, Vania was a shimmering red sun and Chanel served lamp, oil and curtains. The Macarena was a glamorous blooming bride, Clover was the sexier bride, paying homage to the Cuban flag, Pitita was a frilly, red delight, Kelly gave shimmering power politician, Visa stole the show as a sexy corn queen and Bestiah gave highlighter, transformer realness. 

When it came to the Sabores runway, Pakita gave a sexy fried egg dame, Hornella served shrimp realness with the coolest, camp wig I’ve ever seen, Pink served red wine – swoon – Vania gave a sexy Suzy Caramel, Chanel served sinner strawberry with an iconic cake wig reveal, The Macarena continued in the slutty ways, this time making it sea urchin. Clover meanwhile gave us glam honey coated nuts, Pitita gave burlesque croquettes before revealing a stunning calamari, Kelly served milk maid realness – which feels right – Visa served spicy chilli before Bestiah stole the category as a gorgeous Chupa Chupa headed sugary delight.

Closing out the show in their looks in honour of the Regiones, Pakita gave sexy mediaeval queen, Hornella was a fringed delight, Pink Chadora served ‘80s Madonna, though called it 90s. Vania meanwhile gave regal camp, Chanel gave Sailor Moon/Gem villain cosplay, The Macarena served grieving old widow, Clover was a power puff delight – spotted, frilled and perfect – before Pitita stole the show in a stunning, architectural look, though erred close to the source material. Kelly Roller also appeared to be inspired by ‘80s rock chicks, Visa was stunning draped in fabric, showing all the skin, before Bestiah closed the ball with an avant garde look which only further cements her as the frontrunner.

After thanking the dolls for stepping their pussies up, Supremme sent Pink, Vania, The Macarena, Visa and Hornella to safety before helping Pakita with all the praise for serving three, perfect, fully realised looks that were each oh so different. Chanel on the other hand was read for giving messy, ill fitting looks and well, it was as brutal as it sounds, and I would argue, nowhere near as bad as the judges made out. Pitita too was heaped with praise for all that she gave before Clover, for some reason, was read for not giving enough in the looks she brought from home and for giving no variety. Kelly was read for paying no attention to detail before Bestiah rounded out the top, thanked for giving perfection once again.

Backstage the safe girls were breathing a sigh of relief to have made it past the ball, with everyone quietly laughing about The Macarena questioning why she was safe. The tops and bottoms joined with the girls pointing out the win is definitely between Patitia and Pakita, while Bestiah was just gagged to be in the top yet again despite her lack of sewing skills. Kelly essentially treated the kiki as a farewell to the girls, knowing she will be lip syncing while Chanel was heartbroken to clearly be in the bottom with her, given she felt she gave something different each time.

Ultimately it was Pitita who took out the win as Pakita and Bestiah were sent to safety as lovely first and second alternates. At the other end of the pack Clover was rightly saved from the lip sync, leaving Kelly Roller and Chanel Anorex to battle to safety. To the Spanish language version of Christina Aguilera’s Genio Atrapado, so yeah, it was a bop AND a show. Chanel was flashing the dolls, Kelly was cartwheeling in skates and while it was messy, it was FUN. And as such, I was heartbroken that both the zaddies didn’t survive and poor Chanel Anorex was felled from the competition.

As she arrived backstage, I quickly pulled Chanel in for a massive hug and assured her that despite being an early out, she easily showcased how much of a sickening queen she is. And well, since she is hot, she will always be a robbed goddess, which is honestly the best you can hope for sometimes. While that didn’t immediately pull her out of her disappointment, after smashing some Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf, she quickly rallied, ready for her shot to return to the competition.


This glorious little fusion dish is one of those God-level mid-week meals. Quick and easy, yet hearty and warming, the spiced lamb pairs perfectly with the pilaf to perk up any and all bleak days.

Enjoy!


Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
400g canned lentils, drained and rinsed
½ cauliflower head, cut into florets
1L chicken stock
300g basmati rice
500g lamb mince
2 tbsp Moroccan seasoning
salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup Greek yoghurt
¼ cup mint leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup slivered almonds, toasted

Method
Heat a lug of oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and sweat the onion and garlic for about 5 minutes, or until soft. Add the rice and cook, stirring, for a further minute to coat. Slowly pour in the stock, cauliflower and lentils, and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook for 10 minutes, or until the rice is tender and the liquid absorbed.

While that is cooking, heat a lug of oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook the lamb and Moroccan seasoning, breaking up lumps with a wooden spoon, for 5 minutes or so, or until cooked through. Remove from the heat and season.

Finally, combine the yoghurt and mint in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To serve, divide the pilaf between four bowls, top with the lamb followed by a good dollop of minted yoghurt and a sprinkle of almonds. Then devour, like a zaddy.


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Anetrata

Breakfast, Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race a new cast of queens arrived in the Werk Room and TBH, they kept us fed. Well at the very least Luxx and Mistress did, bringing sass and shade each week, making everyone put the fight in fighting spirit. But aside from that the dolls absolutely slayed, with Anetra walking the fucking duck, Sasha cracking her neck to victory, Loosey giving us a perfect Joan Rivers while Spice gave us that Miley and Anetra and Marcia Cubed delivered the lip sync of the season. One by one they were sent home until it was just Anetra, Luxx, Mistress and Sasha remaining, after a late breaking double shantay from Mama Ru.

Oh and then the world’s longest reunion happened.

We returned to the Ace Hotel Theatre as the queens were wheeled back out in the order they were eliminated. As a reminder that order was – yep, it is happening – Irene DuBois, Princess Poppy, Sugar, Amethyst, Robin Fierce, Aura Mayari, Jax, Spice, Malaysia Babydoll Foxx, Marcia Marcia Marcia, Salina EsTitties and Loosey LaDuca. The top four then stole the show as Anetra, Luxx Noir London, Mistress Isabelle Brooks and mother Sasha Colby were brought out, proving why they are still in the running. We then got a five Ru performance of her song, which happened, but I’ll take the shirtless back-up dancers any day. And by take, they can walk my fucking duck any day. After introducing Michelle, Carson, Ross and the TS Madison, Mama Ru explained how the evening would proceed with the dolls all doing a solo performance before the top two would lip sync for the crown. 

First cab off the rank was the iconic Anetra who is still such a sweet angel, grateful for her father for providing the love and support that allowed her to become the person she is. Her solo number, Lotus, was inspired by the flower blossoming only after going through all the muck. Which is apt for what she has experienced in her life, and well, now she is walking the duck and karate chopping like a boss. Obviously she destroyed the performance with the judges loving all that she served. In a kiki with Ru, she charmed her way through explaining her superpower was jumping over queens with BFAs while her kryptonite was men over 6 feet. And between her relatability and how sweet her dad and stepmom are, I need a double crown ASAP.

Luxx meanwhile was fired up to take the crown, willing to commit crime, but only one that would get her arrested, but not thrown in jail. Her finale performance, It’s Giving Fashion, was a high-energy bop which she slayed from start to finish. Complete with a little bit of an Anetra signature, walking the duck. The judges rightly heaped her with praise before she told Ru she can not wait to see how this turns out. She admitted to Ru that she was completely vibing and living her best life, before her mother spoke about her getting her legendary performing skills from her grandmother, father and of course, herself, her mother. Her boyfriend meanwhile sobbed about how much she loves them, while Luxx put everything she is today down to drag. So now I need a triple crown (the first going to Sasha, obvi).

We then had a little interlude dedicated to the iconic Bob Mackie, as Ru gifted him the Giving us Life-time Achievement Award. Which is important, despite not adding to the plot.

When they pivoted from the sweet, petite old man to the killer, larger than life Mistress Isabelle Brooks and hell, make it a quadruple crowning, because she literally carried the season on her back. She served sass, emotion and most importantly, eras. When it came to her original song Delusion – in honour of being patient zero – she was fire. It was hyper colour, hypnotic – literally – and straight up perfection from start to finish, fun and fierce, complete with  a signature giggle. With the judges agreeing it was stunning, as always. While chatting to Ruple Charles, Mistress admitted she actually watched her mouth and held back over the course of the season. And reminded everyone they can be who they want, big or small. Her mother Chavelle Brooks then told her how proud of her she is, while I ship her and her bestie.

Rounding out the solos, Sasha was proud of her journey and how much she has evolved throughout the season. And how grateful she was for all her chosen family and those bio family members she is still in contact with. Her performance of Goddess was instantly iconic as she came out as a serpent, complete with snake braids and back-up in buttflaps. It was a bop and it was a performance. No doubt guaranteeing mama her spot in the final lip sync, which I’d argue the judges straight up agreed with. She was most grateful to the experience for allowing her to meet the fans and their supportive families. Her besties’ partner broke down about how proud he was of everything she has achieved thus far. With Sasha sure that thanks to Ru, she will be achieving her dreams and taking over the world in no time.

The top four all took their places on the stage as Ru announced which queens would progress to lip sync for the crown, with Anetra and Sasha obviously chosen. Because duh, despite how iconic Luxx and Mistress are.

As the top two disappeared backstage to prepare, Ru rucapped Wigloose, heartbroken that it proved to be prophetic before a group of queercons and Kevin Bacon – since Wild Things is super queer – did a touching version of the Imagine video (well, not out of touch). Leland and Orville Peck then performed a song with the queens and while it was a vibe, it was too sweet to read. Willow Pill then made her triumphant return to the stage to flip everyone off before Kornbread arrived serving BEAST. Before she rapped about the Season 15 dolls ahead of crowning Malaysia Babydoll Foxx the newest Miss Congeniality.

Most importantly, we then had an epic segment dedicated to Jinkx Monsoon before she took the stage to perform her number from Chicago. And oh my God, she is perfect and I am so gutted I didn’t get to see her in the show. As she and Ru kikied, we were reminded that Jinkx dreamed of performing in drag on Broadway, meaning winning Drag Race is the key to achieving your dreams. 

After wheeling the Queen of all Queens off stage, the top two arrived to lip sync for the crown to Knock on Wood by Amii Stewart and ugh, I love the song and know they are both going to kill it. As soon as it started, both of the dolls hit every lyric and beat. Sasha served a reveal from an epic coat, before pulling a bone from the corset of her gown to reveal a sexy number as she served all the hairography. Anetra gave a bleeding heart, Sasha used her coat as a couch and well, it was good. Which TBH, is exactly what we were expecting from the duo. And despite it being the strongest final two in YEARS, Ru opted out of a double crowning and instead gave mother Sasha her flowers, leaving Anetra to secure her win in All Stars 9.

Mark my words.

As Sasha was getting her crown, I theatrically yoinked Anetra offstage with a crook and pulled her in for a massive hug, reminding her that she is now in the company of Alaska and Shea, as iconic losing finalists that are easily going to power through to the Hall of Fame. While she didn’t snatch the crown, there is no denying that Anetra’s run was nothing short of legendary and as such, she is definitely going to have the biggest career glow-up post season. Since she is rightly beloved. Sadly though, Ru couldn’t even spring for a runner-up prize – guess Camden was just paid restitution for her UK sisters not getting a prize – meaning she had to settle for just my Anetrata.

And by mine, I mean SJP’s character’s family recipe in The Family Stone. Strata is one of those dishes that are so easy – who doesn’t love something you prepare the day ahead – yet jam packed with flavour, and this one a hit. Rich, earthy, sweet and creamy, it melts in your mouth while warms your heart. Kinda like Anetra herself.

Enjoy!

Anetrata
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
6 Italian sausages, removed from casings, cooked into small pieces and cooled
1 baguette, sliced
½ cup mozzarella cheese, grated
4 tomatoes, sliced 
400g mushrooms, sliced
1 onion, thinly sliced
6 eggs
3 cups milk
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp dried oregano
½ tsp black pepper
1 pinch garlic salt
½ – 1 cup parmesan cheese, for sprinklin’

Method
Butter or line a large baking dish and arrange half the bread into the base of the dish, trying to leave as small gaps as possible. Sprinkle over half the sausage, mozzarella, tomato, mushrooms and onions. Top with the rest of the bread, followed by the rest of the sausage, mozzarella, tomato, mushrooms and onions.

Whisk the eggs, milk, salt, oregano, pepper and garlic salt in a large bowl until well combined. Slowly pour over the strata, making sure the liquid gets into every nook and cranny. Sprinkle parmesan over the top, cover and transfer to the fridge to chill overnight.

The next morning, take the strata out of the fridge to come to temperature as you preheat the oven to 160C. Transfer to the oven and back for an hour or so, or until the top is golden and puffed and it is cooked through. Insert a knife and if it comes out clean it is ready, otherwise return to cook for a little longer.

Once done, leave to rest for 10 minutes before slicing, serving and devouring. Plotting how to top a killer run on your second go.


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Luxx Tiknoir Lasagdon

Main, Pasta, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the top four returned to the Werk Room ready for a triumphant final lap on their way to the finale before Ru gagged them with the fact there would only be a top three this year. Meaning after the rumix and film clip, one of the dolls would claim a final win and another would suffer the unkindest cut of all. Obviously Sasha was perfection from start to finish, while Luxx’s songwriting skills took her through to the finale with Sasha. At the other end of the pack, Mistress getting in her head and Anetra’s not-sure-why were all it took to land them in the bottom. Thankfully forcing Mama Ru’s hand as she finally dished out a double save to keep our very deserving top four intact.

Before we get to the finale though, we have to reunite and sadly the only way out of a season is through. As such, the dolls all took their places on the Ace Theatre stage in alphabetical order – that is Amethyst, Anetra, Aura, Irene, Jax, Loosey, Luxx, Malaysia, Marcia Cubed, Mistress, Princess, Robin, Salina, Sasha and Sugar and Spice, the latter two being out of order on a technicality since they were treated as a sole entity. After reminding us that American politics is a total dumpster fire riddled hellscape, Ru addressed Mistress’ passion for kleptomania – relatable – with her admitting to taking books, earrings and some wigs. Before she gagged us with the fact that Anetra stole things from the set too. In the form of lightbulbs.

Given reunions are generally pretty talk heavy and boring, we will stick to the highlights. The first being how delightful Sugar and Spice were! The former was proud to have learnt how strong she is which Spice tried to reiterate, until she lost her train of thought. Mistress admitted that while she didn’t vibe straight away, she was thrilled by how quickly they won her over and is proud to now have them as her daughters. We then got a supercut of the eras with Irene relishing her screen time era while Sugar was in her nail era, despite not wearing nails. Talk turned to the dolls passion for making it a top two each week before it turned into reading Loosey for always thinking she should win. Until Sasha reminded the dolls that in most of these battles, she took out the win which is all that truly matters. 

It then turned into a compliment sandwich as Amethyst spilt the tea that before being cast, Loosey spoke about winning everything if she ever competed when working together at da clurb, before my dear friend Kevin Bacon dialled in to praise Loosey for her Dragloose performance. Oh and then the dolls read Loosey for not letting loose when singing her song, let loose.

We addressed the lip syncs of the season, with Sasha and Anetra’s from Lalaparuza still amazing everyone. Anetra was also present in the best of the season, with Marcia Cubed and hot damn, I still wish it was a double save. Irene praised Anetra for being a killer performer, and I love how wholesome it is. They pivoted back to the Lalaparuza, choices, with Malaysia still pretending she wasn’t going for the easy kill in Marcia. Talk then turned to everyone not thinking Mistress beat Jax in the lip sync and ugh, I love her confidence and also now think how boring this season would have been without her.

Robin and Amethyst’s history came up again with the former thinking Amethyst was a little deluded, while they both reiterated the importance of not shitting where you eat. Talk turned to crushes on the season with Aura admitting she is hot for Princess, despite the fact she is getting married.

Coco Montrese dialled in to ask Marcia about her make-up skills, with her proud of how much she has improved. Oh and she is releasing a make-up line, with Aura asking if it would just be eye liner. Which is a hilarious read. Asia dialled in to ask Sasha who her favourite drag performer is, with her opting for Monica Monroe. DeJa called in to ask Robin for a Best Buy discount – like an icon – Aquaria asked why Irene trolled the dolls online all season, with Irene essentially admitting she just wanted to be involved. Which is awkward since Mistress blocked her. Maybe. Derrick asked Loosey if she blames it on the edit. Robin’s mother asked Mistress why she came for her daughter in the first episode, with Mistress reminding them she was just in her chaotic era and nothing more. Aura’s mum asked Spice why she wanted Aura in the bottom in Snatch Game, given she would have been sent home if she faced off against her baby. 

We finally got to see more of the reading challenge and damn, Salina was glorious. Ru opened the library for the eliminated dolls, with Sugar hilariously reading Robin’s screen time before Spice asked to read Sugar. Princess read Aura for being a torn bottom and Loosey for her lack of taste, while Irene read Sasha for being beautiful. Oh and Salina hates Irene, apparently based on her epic eyerolls. Talk turned to the many gates of the season ad yeah, the dolls loved to fight. And I love them for that. Malaysia admitted she just didn’t realise Luxx was trolling her during Metalgate, Loosey admitted she didn’t have a bump during Babybumpgate and Loosey just felt like Mistress was just always coming for her during Heavengate. While Anetra just loved everyone else’s drama. Oh and things turned to 40-inch gate with Luxx finally admitting she just likes to round up.

Ru turned our attention to some of the best looks we didn’t get to see from the eliminated queens with Amethyst living for her rip it to shreds look, Aura’s Bey runway was stunning, Malaysia’s glove look was perfect Mrs Clause, Irene’s Miss Cleo puffer look was stunning, with Sugar thanking her for all her looks and admitted she looked forward to her posting them each week. Oh and then Maddy Morphosis dialled in to announce Salina won the Golden Boot of the season – for the metal street sign look – with her thrilled to finally win something.

Talk returned to the hateful drag bills with Robin speaking at Yale Law given most of the lawmakers have graduated from there, and Yale wanted to take a stand. Irene reminded everyone that the laws are not just targeting drag queens and they are actually designed to hurt the trans community, with Sasha agreeing that she feels particularly targeted and nervous about the bills, but also reminded her sisters that it means they are doing something right because they have them scared. Thus legislating against people living their lives and bringing joy to the world. Oh and then the queer Connecticut Caucus dialled in to thank their queens, with Loosey breaking down to see how much support they have from their little state.

Ru offered everyone a chance to clear the air, with Irene asking Mistress if she made up that Loosey said she was shocked Irene had had filler given she was saggy. Anetra admitted that in addition to the lightbulbs, she also stole Amethyst’s baby – for Snatch Game – before talk turned to social media backlash, with Mistress thanking the sisters that spoke out when she and Luxx were getting hate. We then got a recap of the top four’s run, most importantly being the moment Anetra walked that fucking duck into our hearts. Luxx’s stunning Visage couture runway perfection, Mistress’ camp ridiculousness in Daytona Wind and Sasha in the rumix, since they had to narrow it down to just moment. Despite the fact she slayed each and every week.

Once the dolls finished their kiki, I confidently stomped onto stage – maybe channelling Anetra’s duck – and tapped Luxx on the shoulder to let her know it was her time for a celebratory catch-up. Of course she wondered why the future winner of the season wasn’t saved for last, until I explained that I based the last two dates on wins – All Winners All Stars style – meaning since Anetra and Sasha had more, she had to settle for the reunion. And while she didn’t love my TEDTalk style explanation, her mood drastically improved upon seeing the Luxx Tiknoir Lasagdon come out of the oven.

While this number is new to my heart – thanks again, Alan Carr! – there is no denying its perfection. The fusion little UK number is the perfect combination of spicy, sweet and comforting, which coincidentally is how I would describe Luxx’s run this season.

Enjoy!

Luxx Tiknoir Lasagdon
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp ginger, minced
3 tbsp garam masala
1 tbsp cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp chilli powder
1kg chicken mince
800g canned diced tomatoes
3 tbsp butter
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
2 cups milk
½ cup Greek yoghurt
salt and pepper, to taste
1 lime, zested and juiced
2 tbsp flour
250g dry lasagne sheets
3 cups mozzarella, shredded

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Heat a lug of oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat and saute the onion, garlic and ginger for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garam masala, cumin, paprika and chilli powder and cook for a further minute to release the flavours. Add the chicken mince and cook, breaking up lumps with the wooden spoon for a few minutes, or until browned. Stir in the canned tomatoes, 2 tablespoons of the butter, muscovado sugar, ½ cup of milk and the Greek yoghurt. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for about ten minutes to reduce slightly. Season to taste and stir in the lime zest and juice. Remove from the heat.

Meanwhile, melt the remaining butter in a saucepan over low heat. Once foamy, stir in the flour and cook for a couple of minutes. Remove from the heat, season and whisk in the remaining milk, before returning to the heat and bringing to the boil for a couple of minutes. Remove from the heat.

To assemble, add enough meat sauce to cover the base of a large baking dish. Layer over a third of the pasta, followed by a third of the bechamel and then, you guessed it, a third of the cheese. Repeat the process from meat, to pasta, bechamel and cheese until you finish with a cheesy top before transferring to the oven to bake for 40 minutes, or until cooked through. Remove from the oven and allow to rest for a further half an hour before devouring, like an icon.


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Joshuarrabbiata Wilder Sauce

Main, Pasta, Sauce, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the dwindling yet iconic Tika tribe tried to rally after Josh idolled Sarah out of the game. Despite Yam Yam being the only person blindsided in the process, he tried to make amends with Carolyn and Josh, and enjoy their time. Josh meanwhile tried to pretend he found another immunity idol, though sadly for him the beads from treemail fell apart in Yam Yam’s hands as Carolyn realised he was also using the exact same note from the first idol. After losing the latest immunity challenge, Carolyn had an awkward journey-feast with Brandon and Danny which made her realise that the alphas were banding together and as such, targeting Josh was the smartest move. Thankfully for him, however, there was no tribal council at all as Matthew’s shoulder felled him from the game.

The next day the Tika trio were nonchalant about avoiding certain doom as Yam Yam and Carolyn debated the pronunciation of bag – or is it baeg? – just like my mother. Josh meanwhile was thrilled to still be alive in the game, though well and truly ready for some new company. Right on cue, we dropped by Soka where the tribe read treemail advising them to drop their buffs, pack up their belongings and bounce. Tika too were told to pack, while Ratu was thrilled to learn that the non-merge (and then I assume real merge) will take place on their beach, meaning they could just chill. Carson meanwhile was ready for some chaos before pointing out that the wording of the note means they haven’t merged, but does confirm his idol is powerless. As such, he announced that he had one, leading to Lauren sharing the fact that she has an extra vote. For reasons.

Soka and Tika arrived and everyone did some casual getting to know you, while Kane was just nervous about where he stands and how exactly things will play out in the larger group. Josh meanwhile was thrilled to be away from Yam Yam and Carolyn, unaware that Carolyn had spread information about his idols to Brandon during their journey and for some reason, he lied and told him that he does in fact have one. After he caught up with Jamie and told her the truth about being down to a fake idol only, she caught up with Heidi and Frannie to talk about his idols or lack thereof, with Jamie confident he does have an idol, despite her being the only person he told the truth to. Confused? Same!

The group came together at camp to talk about the pre-merge phase with Josh being a little extra about Yam Yam turning on him, despite the fact they were on opposite sides of the vote and there was no real betrayal. Feeling nervous, Yam Yam started to make new friends, catching up with Matt who assured him everyone doesn’t hate him and instead Josh was meant to go at their next tribal council on Soka, and to him, he is still the next target. After Yam Yam explained that Carolyn is being super quiet at the moment, we ventured back to camp where Carolyn admitted she was super nervous about keeping her personality in check to get people on her side. Before she went and told them all she loves sweating. Thankfully though, it was quickly brushed over and she was able to lay low as she wanted until it was the right time to reunite Carson. 

Speaking of Carson, the right time came about later that night as they caught up on the beach and pledged their undying loyalty to each other. Yam Yam then joined them to lock in a secret trio, agreeing to keep their distance for the next while and come back together to take control later on. Once the big threats have finished cannibalising themselves, that is. Also that night, Matt and Frannie were sleeping next to each other and being cute and flirty and I want them to adopt me. Or at least make me a flowerboy at their wedding.

The tribe came together with Jeffrey for the Earn the Merge challenge – eyeroll, of course – with the tribe split into teams to race to push a massive boulder along a course to collect keys, climb a tower and use the keys to unlock puzzle pieces and solve a puzzle. Oh and in addition to getting buffs and immunity at tribal council, the victors also got a feast. Matt, Frannie, Carolyn, Carson, Brandon and Jamie faced off against Heidi, Danny, Lauren, Yam Yam, Josh and Kane with the latter getting out to an early lead before the other group overtook them on the next two obstacles. They continued to pull away until Danny and Josh pulled everyone from their group up the wall. However, that headstart meant nothing when it came to the puzzle, given Carson had repeatedly studied it before the game and solved it in a matter of minutes. Earning the merge and handing his group a feast.

Back at camp the losers were heartbroken to be starving, while Yam Yam was terrified about being the most likely target. He caught up with Danny and Kane, suggesting they should get rid of Josh next which annoyed Danny, given he didn’t want to make any decisions without the winners present. As he worried about putting his foot in his mouth, Josh was busy locking in Lauren and Heidi to get rid of Yam Yam and while they pretended to be on board, Heidi still felt like Josh was a bigger issue for her game. Idol or not. The victors meanwhile were giddily smashing their food before talk turned to tribal council with everyone happy to get rid of Josh too. That being said, Brandon was worried about the idol and as such, needed to identify a backup, with him more than happy to get rid of Kane for voting for him at the first tribal council. Oh and then Carolyn straight up told them Josh does not have an idol, calmly articulating his entire web of lies yet for some reason, nobody believed her.

Everyone reunited at camp with Jamie worried about how easy the plan to get rid of Josh came together, though was confident in having Kane as a back-up. Frannie meanwhile was assuring Josh that Kane is the target, leading to Josh approaching Yam Yam to bury the hatchet and tell him they should come together to get rid of Kane. And while Yam Yam pretended he was ok with things, he assured us that Josh is far and away his last option. Brandon meanwhile wasn’t overly worried about the Josh plan falling apart, given he has his beef with Kane. Carson meanwhile warned Kane that his name came up at the feast, however Kane in turn stupidly threw Carson under the bus by approaching Brandon to see what happened. And while he calmly admitted he did throw his name out there, he approached Carson to tell him how stupid it was. Oh and then Kane’s nerves got the best of him, approaching Matt and Danny to throw out the idea of changing the vote to Yam Yam. Matt then told Josh he was the target and hot damn, it is a mess and everyone seems confused.

At tribal council Carson spoke about how difficult it was to keep track of what was happening during the scramble, while Kane assured everyone he is operating from a place of trust and will vote based on that. Yam Yam admitted he is at a disadvantage, even more so given he just can’t stop running his mouth. Ever. Josh downplayed his bond with Yam Yam and Carolyn, pointing out he is more Soka strong. Essentially. Talk turned to idols, with Brandon not sure what exactly is going on and who could have them. Carolyn agreed there were a lot of variables to work around, while Heidi felt like it was hard to keep up with the plans, given everyone has their own opinions. Yam Yam admitted he was feeling very nervous and unsure what conversations he could trust, while Matt felt that this non-merge is intense and he honestly doesn’t even know what is meant to be happening tonight. With that the non-tribe voted and no idols – real or fake – were played as they banded together to finally oust Josh from the game.

Obviously Josh was super gutted to have found himself booted before the legit merge and *gay gasp* not on the jury, meaning in the words of the great Kat Edorsson, he is no longer datable. As he arrived at Loser Lodge I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him that Kat is wrong and any man would be lucky to have him, despite the fact he and Yam Yam couldn’t get it together and run the game with the rest of our queer fam. I congratulated him for doing all that he could in the game, despite essentially being shut out on both of his tribes and toasted his run with a big vat of Joshuarrabbiata Wilder Sauce.

While marinara is the most famous of the tomato based sauces, my heart belongs to its spicy cousin the arrabbiata. A delicate hint of garlic and a kick of chilli work together to provide a complex, rich sauce that elevates any pastas. And is super easy to make, to boot.

Enjoy!

Joshuarrabbiata Wilder Sauce
Makes: 2-3 cups.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
3 red chillies, halved, deseeded and roughly chopped
1 tbsp tomato paste
800g canned whole peeled tomatoes
1 tsp raw caster sugar
2 tsp balsamic vinegar
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat the oil in a frying pan over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for about five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the chillies and tomato paste and cook, stirring, for a further couple of minutes.

Stir in the canned tomatoes and sugar, bring to the boil before reducing heat to low and simmer for about 15 minutes, or until thickened. Stir in the balsamic vinegar and a good whack of salt and vinegar before serving, with your fav pasta. Or if it isn’t about the pasta, pop it in a cup and drink it down.


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Matt Borscharp

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, Soup, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor 13 newbies were dumped on the islands of Samoa ready to do battle with 11 returnees to prove once and for all whether heroes or villains do it better. Nearly instantly Queen Jackie was violently dumped off a barrel in the first challenge, breaking her collarbone and ultimately medevaced from the game. Despite a warning at tribal council that George – who was also injured in the first challenge – may not return, they opted to continue with the vote and sent his only ally, the iconic Anjali Rao out of the game.

George ultimately did return however, with Shonee quickly pulling him into an alliance with her given she knew that as the only three time player on the beach, she needed another threat around as a buffer. Oh and she also found this season’s island bestie in Liz, and just like that Shiz was born. After losing yet another immunity challenge, Michael was felled for trying to target George. Stevie meanwhile was out for revenge against Shonee for blindsiding him on their first season, however when he was the target at the next tribal council, she redeemed herself in his eyes with a last minute flip to send Mimi out of the game.

Meanwhile over at the Heroes despite being the biggest threat as the sole winner in the cast, Hayley was feeling confident enough to throw the immunity challenge to get rid of Rogue because she was rude and abrasive. After losing the next immunity challenge, the Heroes were gagged to discover they’d be sending a mole over to the Villains tribe however when Sam said they were sending someone expendable, Gerry was less of a mole and more of a powerful tool for the Villains post swap. The Villains returned to their losing streak, running over the swing vote in Sarah before Fraser got caught in the crossfire of George and Simon’s feud in the most epic tribal council of all time.

When the Heroes returned to tribal council my love Benjamin idol-ed Queen Sharni out of the game before the swap arrived and kicked things into overdrive. Despite being outnumbered at the new Heroes, George and Shonee took control and blindsided Paige – ugh, hunting is yuck – before Jordie was felled back at the Villains despite having Shonee’s idol in his pocket. The Heroes then sent Benjamin from the game before Liz was able to mutiny to reunite Shiz before a feud between George and the girls led to Stevie tragically being booted. After the merge, the OG Villains and an assortment of friends took control, sending David from the game before Flick became our first Queen of the Jury. She was followed by her bestie Sam before queen, icon, legend Shonee was felled by George before she could get him, due to her being closer to Liz. Shaun and Hayley were the next Heroes to go, before George finally got to take out Simon and then opting to stick with the boys and take out Nina.

Jonathan threw in one final twist however with the tribe required to boot a juror with Matt and Gerry getting their way and sending Shonee out of the game due to her being a guaranteed vote for Liz. Which really should have been a warning to George that his goose was finally cooked, as they banded together with Liz to send him out of the game as our fourth place robbed goddess of the season.

At the final tribal council, Liz absolutely dominated her opponents and took ownership of the move Matt had pinned his entire argument on – getting rid of George – neutralising him in the eyes of the jury, and allowing our newest queen to take out the title unanimously, leaving Matt to finish as the co-runner-up with Gerry. As I said with Gerry, despite being shut out, Matt played a solid game and arguably did all he could to win as one of the few newbies left by the jury phase. Since George was clearly taking them to the end for an easy win. But alas, they cut him loose at the end (which was also Matt’s move, despite not having revenge attached) making Matt a lovely runner-up, with a hearty Matt Borscharp reward.

When I was little, the entire concept of borscht freaked me out, despite my passion for beetroot. I assume it had something to do with the fact I couldn’t figure out how to make cheese work with it, but that is a conversation for another time. As an adult, I finally tried borscht and fell in love with its rich, earthy perfection and the soup quickly found its place in my permanent rotation.

Enjoy!

Matt Borscharp
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
¼ cup olive oil
4 beetroot, peeled and grated
2 celery stalks, sliced
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup tomato paste
8 cups chicken stock
2 cups water
3 potatoes, peeled and sliced
2 carrots, peeled and sliced
400g can cannellini beans, rinsed
2 bay leaves
2 tbsp champagne vinegar
3 tbsp dill, finely chopped
kosher salt and ground pepper, to taste
sour cream, for dolloping

Method
Place a large stockpot over medium heat and add a couple of tablespoons of olive oil. Once hot, add the grated beetroot, celery, onion and garlic, and cook for 10 minutes, stirring infrequently, until they are soft and juicy. 

Add the tomato paste and cook for a minute or so, before stirring in chicken stock and water, followed by the potatoes and carrots. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 10-15 minutes or until cooked through. Add the beans bay leaves, vinegar and dill with a good whack of salt and pepper, and simmer for another five minutes or until cooked through. 

Serve with a dollop of sour cream and devour, like a boss.


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