Previously on Australian Survivor after the tragic loss of Cirie the night before, the final three were delighted to wake up on the beach to find their celebratory final three breakfast. Parvati was conflicted, proud of playing such a dominant game, but disappointed to not have her soulmate sitting alongside her at the end. After fuelling for final tribal council, the trio congratulated each other on playing such strong games and shared how grateful they were to become friends along the way. Which tragically is the win Janine had to settle for, as she was completely shut out of final tribal council and finished in third place.
Rewinding back to after opening statements, Lisa kicked off the Q&A portion of the game, talking about how much of a superfan she is, because Survivor just makes her happy, so her question was asking Luke to tell her what makes him happy about Survivor. He talked about how much he loves living in the jungle and catching crabs, and that it makes him as happy as Parv and Janine must be to be sitting next to him. Cirie asked Parvati why she was so upset to see Cirie’s torch get snuffed, with Parvati breaking down in tears again, talking about how miraculous it is to be as close as she is to Cirie and how she would do anything to give Cirie a shot in the end, because she took a shot from her in Micronesia. And she wanted it so badly for Cirie.
Tommi asked Parvati if she ever intended to play with him, with Parvati talking about being World strong at the merge. But when he followed it up, she laughed and said, well, she could tell he was close with Lisa and Kass, and as such, she invested her time with World, then the women and not necessarily Tommi. Luke joked that he wanted to work with Tommi, leading him to ask Luke why he should vote for someone that spoke about being Aussie strong all season. Luke defended himself, telling Tommi that he was ready to flip to the World players, alongside Shonee, blaming not being taken on the spa reward as the reason for opting out and joining Janine to work with Cirie and Parv, rather than forming a majority with them. As he played a calm game this time, rather than bouncing around each vote.
Kass pointed out that they needed four votes to win, so asked Parvati who she thinks would vote for her and why. She pointed out that she and Kass were fierce rivals all season, so she assumed Kass would vote for her, because she would if the tables were turned. She felt Lisa and Cirie would also vote for her, and she was hopeful that Kirby would also reward her. As she was also in control of all the votes, despite having the biggest target on her back from Day 1. Sarah meanwhile asked Janine to clarify her very loyal game, given she was the reason that (stoked the flames that) broke up the Aussies. Which led to Luke laughing about it being Janine, while Sarah pointed out that her alleged flawless game clearly had a flaw, as she played herself into the minority. Janine explained that she felt she had to pick between the two of them, as Sarah doubled down, saying that was not the time. Repeatedly. And her messiness made it a harder path to the end for her and Luke. Janine then pointed out that she never actually knew Kirby was voting for Sarah, and when the jurors argued semantics between them, it was kind of iconic.
Shonee asked Luke when he felt the most vulnerable, with him mentioning just after Kass had been voted out and how desperately he wanted to win immunity. He spoke about how convincing Parvati to rip up her advantage only benefitted his game, with her interjecting that not playing the advantage was the power, as it guaranteed her a final four, which was better than just getting another idol. Kirby wrapped things up, talking about how much she desperately wanted to play with Parvati, as two queens side by side. Parv agreed that she really wanted to work with her and she believed her, 100%, however she already had a solid alliance and as such, she had to go with the move that had momentum, when it was clear she couldn’t change their minds. And while she wanted to save her with her idol, she knew that she had to be smart and keep her idol for herself and set up her end game.
Parvati then reiterated that she was on the right side of every single vote, as she either knew about every plan, or came up with it. Despite being the biggest target in the game, she didn’t even have her name written down once, which is frankly unbelievable. With that the jury voted – Cirie and Tommi proclaiming Parvati the greatest Survivor player of all time, to boot – and after a single vote for Luke – from Sarah – the rest of them piled up on Parvati, handing her the win. And proving her the ultimate champion.
Luke was understandably heartbroken to finish in second place, though I pulled him in for a hug and congratulated on playing such a strong game. While I would argue Janine did a bunch of the heavy lifting, Luke has grown each time he has played the game, and this season he expertly delivered flashy moves and went toe to toe with the best in the form of Parvati, while also building relationships with everyone on the island and laying low as required. It was impressive, just not as impressive as the masterclass we witnessed from the third two-time winner. Though impressive enough to toast being runner-up with a piping hot bowl of Luke Discoki Fries.
While this is kind of like a bogan poutine, like Luke, the fries are so charming, you can’t help but like them. Better yet, they are way easier to make. Crunchy chips, gooey mozzarella and gravy, sign me up.
Enjoy!
Luke Discoki Fries Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 batches Jud Beerza Battered Fries 4 tbsp unsalted butter 2 shallots, minced 3 garlic cloves, minced sea salt and pepper ¼ cup flour 3 cups beef stock 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce 250g mozzarella, grated parsley, for serving
Method Cook the fries per Jud’s recipe until they are golden and crunchy.
While that is happening, melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat and saute the shallots and garlic for a couple of minutes. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper, before adding in the flour and cooking, stirring, for a further couple of minutes. Reduce heat to low and slowly whisk in the stock, followed by the Worcestershire. Season as required, and simmer for 5 minutes, or until rich and thickened.
To serve, pop your seasoned fries into a bowl and top with mozzarella, before pouring over the gravy. Sprinkle with parsley before devouring, greedily.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Kaelan had a record breaking win at the immunity challenge, unwittingly ruining Myles’ plan to blindside him in the process. AJ meanwhile was growing more and more aware that Kaelan wasn’t in anyone’s endgame but his, so tried to convince him that Kate needed to stay to guarantee that he and AJ have the numbers, as Kate will always be more of a target. Sadly for AJ, Zara put her foot down and wouldn’t budge as Kate is her only remaining competition in the endurance challenges. Like say, the final immunity. At tribal council, JLP surprised everyone with a second immunity challenge, which was obviously won by Kate thwarting their plans and forcing Morgan out the door. Basically.
The next day the final five awoke, once again thrilled to be so close to the end. Zara in particular was proud to have made it so far. Though was also aware that this is where the Postgraduates would likely have to break up, given they could pair up and work with Kate to take control and get to the final three. Right on cue, Myles joined her by the shore to float the idea of getting rid of AJ next, given they would easily be able to get Kaelan to work with them to get rid of Kate at the final four, given he already wants her gone. Though given he mentioned the jury’s face when he betrays AJ, it is unlikely Zara would get onboard as it isn’t a move for her. Wait, no, she confirmed to us that she needs a big flashy move, so was happy to follow Myles’ chaos. Sadly for her though, Myles was pitching the plan to Zara for no other reason than he can beat her in the final two.
Let’s pause here to say that given we’ve locked in a plan in the first five minutes, it is clear AJ is winning immunity tonight, no?
Back at camp Myles got to work making a fire, opening up to us that he wanted to use his idol to guarantee his place in the final four, as it expires tonight. He then talked to AJ about the fact that Morgan going home put an end to his plan to get rid of Kaelan, so was all in on getting rid of Kate tonight. AJ then went straight to Kaelan to let him know that he was clearly the target, and as such, Kaelan and AJ needed to pull in Kate to take Myles out instead. AJ then caught up with Zara, with him pointing out that he knows Myles is gunning for Kaelan and as such, they just needed to get him out instead. Filling Zara and Myles with confidence that nothing will get in the way of their plan, given AJ was so focused on Kaelan being in trouble that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him.
You know that that means, right? JLP arrived for the immunity challenge where they would have to use a pole to carry blocks over a trip obstacle and build a tower of 12 blocks. Simple, but oh so difficult. And also a little boring to recap. Despite being ripped and therefore huge when squeezing under an obstacle, Kaelan got out to an early lead. Though his size eventually got in the way, as he just as quickly dropped. AJ too was struggling, while Kate, Myles and Zara made the most of their smaller frames. Kate continued to power ahead until she lost them all, allowing Kaelan to close the gap and take the lead once again. While Zara continued her slow and steady approach from each and every challenge. Kaelan dropped while placing his eleventh block, putting Myles and Zara back in the lead, while AJ – who I predicted twice would win immunity, just kept dropping. The duo raced to place their final two blocks, with Myles dropping on the final one allowing Zara to gently place it, finally having her slow and steady strategy jag her the win.
Back at camp Zara continued her episode of vibing, thrilled to be immune and ready to use that safety to make a major, resume building move. Despite the nerves. She and Myles caught up, locking in their vote for AJ, and asking Kate to vote Kaelan so they can throw her under the bus at four and keep Kaelan voting with them. Zara went back to camp while Myles went to talk to Kate, asking if she would be keen to vote Kaelan. And given the other option was herself, she obviously agreed. His plan, however, was for things to end up tied between Kate and AJ with a random vote for Kaelan, and on the revote, they would take out AJ. But it feels like something will fall apart, right? Zara then caught up with Kaelan, who begged her to save him in return for him protecting her at four. Kaelan’s plan was to get them to split between Kate and Myles, and try to bait Myles into playing his idol incorrectly to get rid of him instead. Knowing that Myles had an idol, AJ knew that he needed to have Kate onboard, so pulled her aside and locked in her vote for Myles.
AJ and Zara then caught up by the fire, with AJ still completely sure that Kaelan was in trouble. She agreed he should be nervous, though assured AJ if they just stay calm, all will be okay. Zara then disappeared to talk to Kate, who said that Myles had told her to vote for Kaelan, so she would. Rather than be happy that the plan looked to be coming together, Zara realised that everyone was planning to vote for someone different and as such, she could literally decide who to vote out at tribal council. Meaning we’re actually getting a boring Kate vote, aren’t we? Zara, I was rooting for you!
Zara went to Kaelan to talk through his plan, before catching up with Myles who admitted he is actually kind of sad about voting out AJ. He then confirmed with Zara that he told Kate to vote Kaelan, and while that appeared to calm her, she started to get paranoid about how she could get to the final two. AJ and Myles finally caught up, with AJ begging him to just play the idol for himself, then making a joke about Myles not voting for him. And seeing the unconditional trust and support from AJ made Myles breakdown in confessional, upset about putting an end to his allies’ dreams. But he knew he had to, if he wanted to live out his.
At tribal council the jury arrived sans Morgan who JLP shared had opted to quit the jury and head home, explaining her terrible edit. Zara quickly got us back on track, talking about how thrilled she was to take out immunity and have some free time on her hands. Kate on the other hand was terrified about going home. Myles mentioned that tribal lines don’t mean anything anymore, and that they were all focused on making it to the end. Zara agreed that they’ve all run all of the numbers, while Kaelan admitted he is super nervous to be without immunity for once. Zara spoke about how her game has focused on different skills, though it has left her without a shiny move to pitch to the jury. And she is done playing babysitter to Myles and office manager to AJ. Though trust and believe, JLP, she didn’t decide to make the move she is making tonight just because she is immune. Kaelan agreed he wouldn’t be shocked if people made a crack at him, while Myles believed tonight’s vote would ultimately be a 500K decision for someone.
AJ was more hopeful though, sure that there are multiple different paths to the end, while Kate quoted Chenbot from US Big Brother and told everyone to expect the unexpected. Myles mentioned it is important to know who you want to sit next to at the end, though it doesn’t mean you need to get those that you don’t want to sit next to out tonight. Plus, some people already have some solid resumes and as such, sticking with the plan could actually be the best move. Though the plan was to get to four and from tomorrow, they’re there and will need numbers. With that the tribe voted – everyone for a different person – before Zara cast the deciding vote, which after Myles played his idol, we were gagged to learn was Kate. Much to the shock and disappointment of the jury, everyone at home and Myles, who showed his cards with AJ.
Given Kate is an absolute ball of joy and energy, she was still a vibe queen as she arrived at the Jury Villa. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for bringing the lightness and fun throughout the season. While it was kind of boring to see the Postgraduates steamroll after the Logan vote, the last few rounds have still been interesting as Kate never gave up and was throwing everything at the wall. Which is how an icon behaves, TBH. And that alone is all it takes to earn her bodyweight in Kate Gloueerchis.
I first learned of beer cheese from Vanderpump Rules’ very own Kentucky Muffin Brittany Cartwright. And while I firmly question her taste in men, her taste in comfort food is on point. Rich and gooey, this may not be meemaw’s recipe, but it is still delicious on just about anything.
Enjoy!
Kate Gloueerchis Serves: 2 good friends. No, 2 *best* friends.
Ingredients 3 tbsp unsalted butter 3 tbsp flour ½ tsp garlic powder ½ tsp chilli powder ¼ tsp smoked paprika ¾ cup milk ⅔ cup beer 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce 1 tsp dijon mustard ¼ tsp salt pepper, to taste 2 ½ cups vintage cheddar cheese, grated
Method Pop the butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat and once foamy, add the flour, garlic powder, chilli powder and smoked paprika, and whisk together until it forms a paste. Remove from the heat and slowly whisk in the milk, before returning to the heat and cooking for a minute. Whisk in the beer, Worcestershire, dijon, salt, and a good whack of pepper.
Remove from the heat and stir through the cheese until combined. Serve immediately and devour with crudités. Or my personal choice, some Buffally Chicks in Blankettle.
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Previously on Australian Survivor AJ became public enemy number one at the Brains after his failed attempt at getting rid of Logan. Unlike the poker players that came before him, however, he didn’t lay down and die. Instead, he went to Rich to let him know that Logan was actually out for him, inspiring him to take charge and lead a rival, all male alliance. All that set up was for nothing – yet – as the Brawns went on a losing streak, in no small part thanks to the golden foot of pole dancing king Myles. Knowing he was in danger, Nash pretended to find an idol right in front of Paulie in the hopes of scaring up a split vote he could take advantage of. Sadly for him, his social game wasn’t as on point as he thought, leasing to the tribe calling his bluff, sending him home and freeing us of the other, obnoxious camera hog.
The next day the Brawn tribe were as gloriously harmonious as the Brains were after booting Kent. Everyone was well slept and vibing by the fire, and even people that weren’t getting along previously, were getting along and living their best lives. Not everything was roses though, specifically Ben, who admitted that he stank. And Ursula was super salty to have had her name written down a second time. She and Noonan caught up to clear the air, with Noonan assuring her that she doesn’t intend to vote for her again and that she was only copping votes because of Nash. But trust and believe Ursula was not convinced, and she still intended to come for her at the first available opportunity.
We checked in on the Brains where we finally heard from Zara as the tribe were once again fireless and hungry. Because the boys miscalculated their rations. As Ally threatened to kill them all with the machete, we learnt that Zara is a luxe queen and ugh, I knew I loved her for a reason. The second one being that she hates Rich. She caught up with Karin to talk it out, realising that Laura and Logan were protecting him and as such, suggested that if they don’t get on board at the next tribal council, the Coven is over. AJ meanwhile was feeling great about his place in the tribe despite his faux pas, and was now going to lay low and let Ally bury herself given she has such a big mouth. While he was sulking by the ocean, Ally complained about him ignoring her, while Zara explained that he is clearly annoyed that she threw him under the bus. Despite briefly considering apologising to him, she started to berate him for being immature and told him she wanted to remember him more fondly once he was gone, so he should just get in line and smile. He then laughed to us about the fact that he actually had a good bond with Myles and Kaelen, and along with the other boys were planning to take a shot at the girls, so he isn’t down and out yet. Nor are the Brains, as they finally built a roaring fire.
Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where the tribes would jump into a pool of mud, cover themselves in it and carry it down a path to fill a crate. They would then pull said crate to the end of the path before forming mud balls and using them to knock over targets. And given it was for an epic trip to the Survivor spa, everyone had a laser focus. Kalaen and Max got out to an early lead for the Brains, but the Brawns were wearing more clothes and were able to use it as a scoop, dumping in huge load after huge load. Of mud, that is. The Brawn tribe had a hefty lead to start forming and tossing balls, while the Brains desperately tried to close the gap. Sadly nowhere near quickly enough, as PD secured reward for their tribe. And ideally give us a gorgeous Paulie nude scene. Hopefully. Before sending the Brawn tribe away, JLP told them to pick someone to join them and while Logan was literally in tears wanting some glam, they selected Ally to join them given she wanted to give them the snags yesterday.
And just like that, Ally, Logan is coming for you.
Brawn + Ally arrived at the spa, quickly sitting down to their meal and pouring champagne, as Ally thanked them for their kindness and got to know them. Kristin casually tried to fish for intel before Ally went all in oversharing. She started with shading Myles and Kent, before straight up telling literally the tribe who to watch out for and outlining every single alliance and Ally, you’re an absolute moron. Goodbye, I can’t wait for Logan to take her revenge. Oh and we didn’t even get Paulie naked because of her stupidity, so boo.
Back with the Brains, the tribe were far more demure as they washed off in the ocean, assuring themselves that Ally is smart enough to keep her mouth shut and be sensible. And ugh, I wish. AJ meanwhile was growing more and more nervous that Rich and Max’s chaotic energy will blow up his game, and as such, went hunting for an idol. Wanting to protect themselves, Zara, Logan and Karin joined him on the hunt in the hope that they would find it first. Sadly for them, they were not quick enough as he snatched it out from under them and gave him the hope he was looking for.
The tribes reunited with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to build a fire on a see saw while the rest of the tribe would build a cube to release a key, use the key to unlock a net and then use that to transport coconuts to a platform which they would use to toss them into a bucket to weigh down the see saw and light a flag with the fire. Well, not until after the Brawn tribe heavily implied Ally had the loosest of loose lips. After throwing her under the bus, the Brains whipped through the puzzle and got out to a massive lead, releasing their nut sack – JLP’s words – and lining up their coconuts, as Laura and Ally struggled to make fire. While Brawn’s fire was roaring, the tribe managed to close the gap and started tossing their nuts. While Ally and Laura continued to not even get a spark. Meaning Brawn easily took out victory and sent Brains back to tribal council.
Back at camp the boys were all well and truly pissed with Ally and Laura for choking, quickly locking in a plan to take a strike at one of the girls before the alliance could actually jag the numbers. Specifically they would blindside Ally for her presumed loose lips, bossing everyone around and most annoyingly, screwing up the challenge. Zara and Karin, meanwhile, were hyper focused on getting rid of Rich. The challenge being making sure all the girls were onboard with the plan. Laura continued to defend Rich which frustrated Zara and Karin, while Laura told them they were being illogical and emotional, rather than listening to them. Zara calmly explained why they’re so focused on him and that they’re sick of always talking about Rich, but not actually being allowed to take a shot because of Laura always getting her way. With Logan and Laura still wanting to save Rich, our good witch approached him to let him know that he was the girls’ target. Rich wisely pointed out the boys were voting for Ally and as such, she could easily just join them to get rid of her with them.
Zara and Karin checked in to make sure Ally was actually still wanting to get rid of Rich. They all agreed it was likely that Laura will stay with them, despite not being happy about it, so they should hold firm. Ally went to coach AJ once again, lecturing him about the fact he is likely safe but that he will exit soon after. She then told him that one wrong vote would get rid of him, so he should be extra careful tonight. As he laughed to us about the fact that Ally clearly has no idea about her surroundings and how much people want her gone. Zara tried to check in with Laura and Logan, and while Logan was keen to smooth things over, Laura ran off angrily. Sensing the alliance may not have much life, Zara and Karin went to find new allies, with Zara quickly pulling in Myles to take out Rich and form a meaningful, collaborative alliance.
Myles then went to AJ to pull him over to their side, as AJ shared that he was a little worried about Zara and Karin being too stubborn. Which feels like a false narrative from Laura, but whatever. Thankfully his trust in Myles proved stronger than his desire to get rid of Ally, so he locked in with them. Karin once again tried to make sure Laura was on board with them, who assured them she was. Zara and Ally then joined them with the latter thinking she made a killer move on the previous reward, telling everyone she assured the Brawns they could trust the girls. And that all of their alliances were locked and loaded, particularly the all girls one, which again is stupid. As is telling the girls about said stupidity.
At tribal council AJ spoke about how tribal council will finally draw a line in the sand for the tribe, given the last votes were pretty easy. Ally said that all the alliances were pretty solid, though the votes should confirm them, yes. Zara spoke about the challenge of needing to have alliances that operate as a democracy, with Logan agreeing that the vote should be pretty straightforward whether she is happy about it or not. Rich admitted he was nervous, given this vote is far less obvious than the last ones. But trust, he isn’t keen on going. Laura meanwhile shared this is one of the most pivotal votes, to her. AJ referenced his alliance, talking about wanting to find loyal people to go to the end with. A bomb squad if you will. This spooked the girls, who seemed to clock the name, with Ally obviously very vocal about being concerned about AJ.
JLP promptly announced that we’re in for a very different tribal council tonight and that instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be voting someone out of the tribe and over to Brawn. With a little scroll they would only be able to read after they left. AJ immediately volunteered to switch tribes, which Laura shut down just as quickly. Ally too was keen to go, no doubt because she told them everything about the tribe and she believed she would be in charge. She then had the nerve to say that AJ runs his mouth too much, and lol. AJ said he wanted to go because it is likely a clue to an idol and as such, he can use it to survive another night. Rich too offered himself up, leading to the girls having a group meeting to chat through the merits. After landing on Rich, they joined Rich and the boys who all locked in the vote as Ally tactlessly told AJ majority will rule and he has no say. With that the tribe voted and as expected Rich was sent packing with a Brawn buff in one hand, and the scroll in the other. As soon as the tribe exited tribal council, he pulled open the scroll where he learnt he had won safety without power for two people at the next tribal council. No matter which tribe goes to tribal council.
We checked in with the new Brawn tribe the next day where Rich was vibing, thrilled to be living in a superior camp, complete with a fire. He reassured them that he is definitely part of the tribe and won’t be going back Kelli style. And while everyone was thrilled to have a new person to hang out with, trust and believe Noonan was happy to get rid of him at the first opportunity. If he doesn’t get sent back to Brains before the next tribal council, that is. Unaware that if she pulls a Nash, he will be able to save himself and another person. Worried that his job may be to sabotage them at the next immunity challenge, they decided it was smartest to sit him out of the next immunity challenge, just to be safe.
We checked in with the Brains tribe where everyone was living for the new zen mood. Well, everyone but Karin, who was annoyed that Rich managed to survive, despite her wanting him gone, given he was the cause of division within the coven. She realised that Laura and Logan were too emotional and reactionary for her liking, so got to work locking in a more zen alliance. She and Zara caught up with Myles, who floated the idea of them working together with him and AJ for more than just taking out Ally. With the girls catching up privately to lock it all in as their main alliance. Laura and Logan meanwhile caught up to lament their losses at tribal council, though felt they played it all perfectly and that Zara didn’t. And as such, they wanted to target her. Even though they literally got their way every tribal council until the Rich vote. Logan and Laura, on the other hand, were planning to work with Max and Kaelan to take control. Logan approached Max with the idea, who was obviously thrilled, as they quickly locked in the vote against AJ. And while it looks like we’re locked in 4-4, Kaelan appears to spend more time with AJ and Myles, so it feels like we’re being sold more of an even playing field than there actually is, no?
JLP returned for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would face off in a game of Sumo at Sea. With the victors getting a little interior design pack from Ikea, including cushions and rugs. First to face off were Myles and Zaddy Paulie, with my king making quick work of our pole dancing king. Noonan and Ally were up next, with Noonan too, making quick work of the Brain. Ursula and Karin, meanwhile, gave us a legit battle as neither woman was willing to give an inch. While locked in battle for 20 minutes, Karin told Ursula to not trust Rich under any circumstances and ugh, I love it. Sadly, it ended in a draw for both of them and while it was iconic, the challenge continued. This time, in duos to speed things up. Max and Kaelan then faced off against Rich and PD, with the Brawns snagging victory after Max dropped almost instantly.
We followed the victors back to camp where Kristin rejoiced to have a little comfort in her life. They then discovered tea, coffee and biscuits, and letters from home hidden at the base of their haul. Everyone poured a drink before reading their letters one at a time, as the tribe descended into tears. None more than Paulie, who’s dad literally called him a hero for surviving the bullying he went through at school and wrote that he is so proud of him for not just overcoming but thriving. We then learnt a little more about Zaddy Paulie and ugh, I love him so damn much. Give him the win right now, you cowards!
Over at the Brains tribe, the new alliances were busy locking things in as Zara requested Myles come up with a name ASAP today. Well, after locking in his closest ally AJ, that is. AJ thankfully was keen to work with the girls, given they give him good vibes. Not wanting to rest on his laurels, Myles decided he would even potentially loop in the other girls to get rid of Max too. Worst case, though, they needed to get Kaelan on board and while he doesn’t talk much strategy, Myles was confident he would work with him, given he warned him that Kent was out to get him. Kaelan and Myles caught up at the well, thrilled to work with Karin and Zara to get rid of Max. Sadly for them, Ally, ugh, was wandering around the jungle and overheard the conversation, so immediately took the information back to Max. Who was, in a word, livid. While Max gloated to us about having an army behind him, before straight up telling Myles he is watching him.
My love JLP returned for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to swim out and collect a wooden grid before climbing up a slide to retrieve puzzle pieces and then solve the aforementioned puzzle. After Rich was forced to the sit out bench, the tribes were whisked out to the ocean to commence their swim, with the Brawns getting out to the tiniest of leads before Brains overtook them at the shore. After setting up their grids, the Brawns took back the lead as Rich tried to whisper to his bestie Max to throw the challenge as he has a massive advantage for him to use. Whether the Brains intended to throw it or not, the Brawn tribe continued to pull ahead giving Noonan and Morgan a decent advantage at the puzzle. As Myles and Logan diligently worked to close the gap, Rich kept muttering bomb squad to Max despite him having nothing to do with the success or otherwise of the challenge. Both tribes got stuck until Logan thought she had it, only to be wrong. Thankfully after Noonan figured it out, Brains almost snatched the win out from under them, until Myles dropped a tile and sent them back to tribal council.
Before returning to camp, Rich passed off the advantage to Max, giving him the express instruction to save Logan. And then muttered bomb squad multiple more times for dramatic effect. On the way back to camp, AJ whispered to Karin that he saw Rich hand over an advantage, while Ally too was terrified, given she heard him telling Max to continue their work. Which she took to mean the boys’ alliance, not his one with Logan and Laura.
Back at camp things got pretty chaotic pretty quickly, as Max summound everyone to tell them about the advantage, given everyone saw it go down anyway. He then went full Ally, sharing that Rich told him to use it to secure the alliance of boys, but he has a bigger issue he wants to deal with by taking out Myles. And to make sure he gets it done, he is going to exit tribal council with AJ, which is literally the worst decision he could make as then he can’t even vote him out. It also pissed off Logan, who thought they were aligned and the plan was to get rid of AJ, so making him immune means he has crossed her. AJ, Karin, Zara and Myles got together to figure a way out of the mess, with the girls happy to get rid of Ally given she is immovable but also runs her mouth at the drop of a hat. Plus, they think Kaelan will be thrilled to get rid of any woman, so it will be easy to get him on board.
Oh and Myles named themselves the graduates, because they’re above the high school drama. But Zara pointed out they also have the most degrees, so it makes sense for multiple reasons. After Myles pulled Kaelan into the alliance, he then caught up with Max, Logan and Laura where Max became the second person to pitch an Ally blindside to him in as many minutes. And while he thought their alliance was solid once more, the girls were pissed about the thought of getting rid of Ally. Instead, Laura now wanted to take out Zara. Presumably for reasons other than the fact Zara shops at Hermes and she is a witch. Which is now a read, given she is coming for Zara, when I would traditionally stan a witch on Survivor.
Laura’s logic was that Zara is too emotional and not logical, even though it seems like she is having quite the emotional response. Max caught up with the girls, with him completely fine with Zara going home. And to get it done, he was now planning to send Karin and Myles away from tribal council. Laura floated the plan with Kaelan and while he pretended to be onboard with the plan, he admitted to us that he is sick of being thought of as someone else’s number and as such, he was ready to make the decision that was best for him. Zara and Karin meanwhile realised something was up and that the girls were well and truly ready to put an end to the coven. So worried about Max and the advantage ruining their plans. Logan too knew Max was chaotic and his behaviour could screw things up for lots of people, and as such, vowed to just vote for whoever he wants at tribal council. As she begged him to just make a decision and stick with it, essentially. While he was just overjoyed to be the centre of attention.
At tribal council Laura spoke about the tribe being far more relaxed with Rich gone, despite being on edge. Logan admitted that Rich still looms large over the tribe given he handed Max an advantage. Very loudly, in front of everyone, AJ confirmed. Max then continued to showboat talking about how powerful he is and that he is looking forward to having some fun. He then handed the scroll over to JLP immediately with Zara talking about the fact they have plans for tribal council, but they need to see what Max actually does with the advantage before they know what they can actually pull off. Ally was confident Max would do what is best for the tribe – ugh – while Logan was worried that he would make a decision for the drama, rather than strategy and that frankly, she wished it was up to her instead.
Max then continued to be infuriating, talking about being at war with Myles because he is a snickering jungle rat. And that he would love to use the advantage to get his revenge (Side note, while calling Myles a rat seems super problematic, Myles has assured us on social that Max asked him permission before calling him any names). While Myles reiterated that the one thing about rats is that they survive. Zara suggested that Max seems to be playing emotionally, rather than strategically. He then got smarmy, talking about thinking he has something special tonight and as such, he wants to look after his alliance. While Karin told him to stop playing schoolyard games and send the damn people away.
Finally he was forced to play his advantage, sending Laura and Karin out of tribal council which is a combination that literally shocked each and every person. None more so than Logan, who was completely pissed at Max and damn, Max, you’re in danger, girl. Logan and Zara then appeared to reconnect, as Max told all the girls to vote for Myles. While Max gloated about being super confident he knows exactly what is going to happen and he is thrilled to be safe, despite being left at tribal council. With that the tribe voted and while Max was safe, he didn’t get his way, as he and Ally were gagged to see her booted from the game.
As soon as Ally arrived at Loser Lodge, she pulled me aside to let me know about the state of every relationship back at camp. In addition, she lectured me on how badly AJ had been playing that game. And while I wanted to scream, I had to admire her consistency, so pulled her in for a hug, thanked her for the comedy and celebrated her short run with a batch of Buffally Chicks in Blankettle.
Pigs in Blankets and buffalo chicken are two of my favourite things, so it is an absolute no brainer to combine them. The comfort of the sausages and flaky pastry are perfectly offset with the little bit of zing from the hot sauce. And frankly, it is perfection.
Enjoy!
Buffally Chicks in Blankettle Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 sheets puff pastry, defrosted ¼ cup Frank’s RedHot, plus extra for serving ½ tsp garlic powder ½ tsp onion powder ½ tsp paprika 16 chicken chipolatas 2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted Blue Cheese Dressing, to serve
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Cut each sheet of pastry into squares, and then the squares in triangles. Like the superior primary school sandwich cut. Brush pastry with half the hot sauce and sprinkle with the garlic and onion powders, and the paprika.
Working one at a time, wrap the sausages in a triangle of pastry and transfer to a lined baking sheet, seam side down. Combine the melted butter with the remaining hot sauce and brush over the pastries.
Pop them in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Serve immediately drizzled with extra hot sauce and a vat of blue cheese dressing. Before devouring greedily, but also in a way that felt like you were lecturing someone.
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Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in the International Queen of Mystery Ball. And let’s just say, a ball with 12 queens in 40 minutes means it goes quickly. Very quickly. Pythia was this season’s token helper, kindly supporting all of her sisters and making sure they made it down the runway in something half-way decent. Thankfully for her, it didn’t blow up in her face as it so often does, as she slayed each and every category. Alyssa got her design rudemption, despite her first two looks saving her no matter what. Because they looked expensive. Despite not feeling as confident in her third look, Athena vowed to sell it while Soa got by on a hope and a pray. Pythia rightly won, while Soa and Athena found themselves in the bottom – despite some more questionable looks, IMO – before Soa dominated to save herself, making sweet Athena the Porkchop of Global All Stars.
Backstage the dolls were feeling that shit is getting real, given one of them – finally, for Kitty – went home. Pythia was heartbroken to lose her fellow Greek sister, though sweetly assured Soa she was glad that she was safe. Eva turned things positive, sharing how grateful she was that Pythia’s kindness was rewarded with the win. The next day Soa was feeling her oats to have survived, with Pythia trying to cheer her up pointing out that some people made uglier looks out of combining shit they had, so Soa should hold her head up high for trying something. And yes, that was a Tessa read. Alyssa jumped in to defend her own corset and hot glue number, pointing out she knows how to sell and that, my dolls, is what a winner does.
Ru dropped by, by way of Cher’s Believe era, to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming girl groups and singing the new anthem Say Love. And to decide the team captains, Ru would be diving deep into the census archives – topical in Australia, no? – with the dolls Price is Right-ing the population of their countries, with the three closest without going over jagging the power. Kween Kong, Miranda and Vanity won, with the latter literally within 100K. Hilariously, bless, Alyssa tipped the USA had 100 billion people, wishing she had phoned a friend instead of counting the multiple personalities of her fellow Americans.
I will take this moment for the weekly reminder to crown her. For the love of drag, crown her.
Vanity selected Kitty, Gala and Nehellenia, Miranda went with Alyssa, Eva and Tessa while Kween selected Soa and Pythia. Ru then explained that the dolls would have to write a verse dedicated to love, thankfully in any language. They would then pull together sickening girl group looks and choreograph their debut performances on the mainstage. Oh and they would each have different genres, with Kween’s group assigned LatinX, Vanity assigned Europop and Miranda scoring KPop. Followed by the Colour My World runway, featuring a minimum of two reveals.
The dolls split up to come up with a game plan, with Kween and Soa primed for a second Girl Groups victory, as Pythia quietly worried about keeping up with them. Casually throwing shade at the Canadian girl groups in the process. Alyssa meanwhile was throwing it back to Read U Wrote U, and how disappointed she was to miss it by a single episode. Miranda meanwhile admitted she was nearly in the bottom for her girl groups, while Kitty was hoping for some rudemption after her team let her down on her season. Not the genres, like it actually was. Alyssa meanwhile realised her team’s initials were MEAT, so baptised them Fresh Meat, Kween’s team named themselves D’Vybe, while Kitty suggested they should be the Backdoor Girls.
Talk turned to the lyrics, with Nehellenia planning to talk about loving any man while Vanity wisely would focus on cock. Kitty on the other hand was going with cheesy chips and Kween wanted to go the earnest route, selling her best ass-ets and planning to empower the people.
Team Miranda were first to work on the choreography, with Alyssa running things like a drill sergeant, knowing that they are only as good as their weakest links. And while they appeared to be strong, Alyssa was still hoping to be judged individually. Team Kween was up next, with Kween and Soa vibing, while poor Pythia started to get nervous about picking everything up in time. Though thankfully Kween pivoted on the fly and tried to simplify to help her sister out. Rounding out the segment were Team Vanity with Nehellenia confidently in her element, though not up to Kitty’s standards, who jumped in and pulled together something that was killer and easy. Not letting the dolls let her down.
Elimination Day arrived with Alyssa’s sisters gushing about how she took them under her wing and made sure they were prepared for their performance. Vanity and Miranda, meanwhile, opened up to Eva about how nervous they were to perform on stage and while Miranda struggled with some pain from all the rehearsal, she was proud to have pushed through. Alyssa and Kween caught up about working with dolls that aren’t dancers, and hearing them speak about how proud they are of their sisters melted my cold, dead heart. Gala and Kitty meanwhile were stressed about Vanity’s stress, with Kitty talking about how she just doesn’t want to lose another girl group when she is literally in a drag girl group. While Nehellenia was just hoping to show the dolls that she is just as good as them. Alyssa and Kween, specifically.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the hilarious Ross Mathews as Kween’s D’Vybe opened the show and damn they were good. Despite Pythia not having the confidence of her sisters, and them getting out of sync throughout. Because it was fun and silly. Which you know Ru loves. Fresh M.E.A.T. then arrived and absolutely demolished, despite it really being a Destiny’s Child situation with Alyssa playing the role of Beyonce. Closing out the show, Kitty well and truly got her rudemption as the Backdoor Girls clearly understood the assignment, with Kitty smutty, sexy and in the pocket from start to finish.
On the Colour My World runway, Gala went from Frida to bondage, Eva gave Maleficent to Evil Queen through to Cruella and yas, werk Disney gay, werk. Miranda gave soccer nun, to babydoll through to non-binary love. Tessa took us through a jester burlesque journey, Alyssa went from sun to moon to stars and once again, was perfect. Soa was stunning going through the Gods as she found her colour. Pythia was the Monster from under her bed, through to the evil eye ending on a club kid rag doll number. And again, stunning. Vanity was a series of pride flags, Kween went from yeti, to frog prince green through to gorilla realness. Nehellenia went from coral cape to jellyfish on her way to Dory and Nemo, giving us another Disney gay. Kitty meanwhile went from pink to yellow to blue and orange as she tried to pick her outfit for a night out with the dolls.
Ru announced that they’d be judged individually before Eva, Tessa, Alyssa, Soa and Gala were sent to safety. Miranda’s runway was read for being a mess and giving a different energy in the performance, despite her clearly having fun. Pythia was read for letting them know she was flubbing the dance moves in the performance, though they loved her runways. See: fashion queen of the season. Kween was praised for owning the performance, hitting every beat and smartly serving humour to help her sisters out. While two out of three looks were killer. The judges could tell Vanity was nervous, though Ross loved her passion for sucking dick. And for her dedication to showing off all the flags. Nehellenia was beloved for being lovable and joyous on the stage, and giving fun on the runway. While Kitty, rightly, received wall to wall praise for every moment this week, owning the performance and giving all the energy and charisma.
Backstage Alyssa was disappointed to be safe as Gala tried to assure her that her team let her down, given she is a star. Alyssa admitted that she desperately wants to be judged on her performance and hers alone this season (justice for her and Alaska’s comedy win). Gala proclaimed her group as the best, as they couldn’t figure out if Pythia or Vanity would be joining Miranda in the bottom. The tops and bottoms joined them, with them guessing Kween or Kitty would be taking out the win, while they were debating whether Nehellenia would be in the top or bottom, which drove her insane. Pythia started to break down, feeling bad for letting Kween and Soa down, as her sisters rallied and assured her she did her best and they had a blast with her. As Kween suggested some other people should be in the bottom over her, while Alyssa begged Pythia to just give herself grace. While Miranda sweetly spoke about her own pride, despite clearly being in the bottom. Vanity on the other hand was annoyed by her own bottom.
Nehellenia jumped in to tell her sisters the judges respect her and she got only positive critiques, so she doesn’t care if her sisters don’t love her. Miranda quietly removed herself to prepare for the lip sync, while Soa got sick of hearing Nehellenia pop off about being in the top. Vanity was upset that she kept saying all of them hated her, so angrily removed herself with Soa. Kween tried to put it into perspective, explaining that people are annoyed as she is saying they’re all picking on her, but then saying it is only some and not naming names. While they just want to focus on lifting up their sisters who are about to lip sync.
We pivoted back to the mainstage where Kween and Nehellenia were sent to safety as Kitty deservedly took out her first win of the season. At the other end of the pack, Pythia’s runway managed to keep her safe as Miranda and Vanity lined up to lip sync for their lives to the iconic Spice Up Your Life. While Vanity served spicy, sexy icon from start to finish, it was hard not to fall in love with Miranda’s clown performance. She was living her best life as she gave silliness and just vibed. Sadly though, it was not enough to save her, as Vanity lived to fight another day and Brasil’s Sasha Velour was tragically sent packing.
As sweet Miranda arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her how proud of her I am. Despite being an early boot, Miranda was a polished star from start to finish, giving a daring talent and serving look after look. And that makes her another robbed goddess, though maybe that is just the calibre of the dolls this season? Obviously I said she was the only robbed goddess, because I wanted her to feel as good about her departure as she could. Which she did, after smashing a massive bowl of Whipped Miranda Lebrie Dip.
There is nothing more comforting than cheese. Although it does turn out you can make it even better, just with a bit of a whip. And bacon. And honey. Then, it is stunning. And hard to stop eating.
Enjoy!
Whipped Miranda Lebrie Dip Serves: 4.
Ingredients 100g streaky bacon, diced 600g brie, rind removed thyme leaves, to sprinkle hot honey, to drizzle sourdough, sliced and toasted to serve
Method Pop a frying pan over medium heat and fry the bacon for a few minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove from the pan and pop it on a plate lined with paper towel.
Dice the rindless brie and pop into the bowl of a stand mixer. Using the paddle attachment, beat the brie for 10 minutes or until pale and fluffy.
Spoon the cheese into a bowl, sprinkle with the bacon and thyme, and drizzle with hot honey. And then devour with bread. You can use crackers if you want, but bread is just perfection, IMO.
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Previously on Survivor we welcomed 18 new castaways to the still glorious islands of Fiji. Well 17 and Bruce, given his first-minutes-of-44-concussion pulled him from that game and since Jeff Probst is a kind and merciful zaddy, he was brought back with another batch of newbies. While he denied having any sort of advantage, this season’s queen Emily called out him on it, pointing that while he didn’t get to play, going through the preparation and knowing players surely set him in good stead. Meanwhile Zaddy Austin found the beware advantage at Reba, which yes, is a tribe name. At tribal council Emily moved on to calling out Kaleb and Sabiyah for being a tight duo in an effort to save herself. That proved unnecessary, however, as Hannah, who was going through it with nicotine withdrawal opted to up and quit instead, allowing our icon to live another day.
Back at camp the tribe reflected on Hannah opting to bounce, with Sean kinda getting it, given they straight up have nothing and are miserable. Emily meanwhile was turning over a new leaf, apologising to Sabiyah and Kaleb for calling out their alliance. She explained she didn’t mean to come from an angry place, while Sabiyah calmly explained that while it wasn’t her intent, it did upset her and as such, Emily’s abruptness led to her isolation. Emily, to her credit, tried to figure out a way to apologise, however Sabiyah wasn’t vibing and instead took herself to the shore for some alone time to breathe.
AND THEN THE THEME SONG FINALLY RETURNED.
After the glorious opening theme finished, we checked in with Reba the next morning where Sifu was rocking some tai chi and living his best life. Which is kinda the polar opposite of how Lulu was feeling. He then jumped around being wild, cutting and punching trees and well, if there is a medevac this season, let’s pencil it in for Sifu. J Maya meanwhile was busy trying to crack the code on the tribe flag and while she openly tried to figure it out, Austin bided his time for everyone to leave so he could whip out his advantage. Which told him to look for an X on a fallen palm tree.
Things were just as good over at Belo as they made fire and lived their best lives. Bruce in particular, who was making a tonne of noise and exuding energy. Sadly for him, only Jake was loving his fun uncle act while the rest of the tribe were growing annoyed by it. And would probably prefer he just admit to being the leader he wants to be.
We went back to Lulu where Emily was focused on hunting for an idol or clue, desperate to find some form of protection, given she had burnt all the bridges. That spurred the rest of the tribe into action, searching high and low to find the idol instead of her. Sabiyah caught up with Emily to let her know everyone was hunting if they wanted to do it together, which Emily called bullshit on, admitting she knows it just means they don’t want her to find it. As everyone hunted, Brandon was ultimately the one that found the Beware Advantage and immediately passed it over to Sabiyah to open. Methodically, she worked through the clues which directed her to the top of a tree. Sadly, though, the idol was at the very tippity top of said tree, so it remained hidden.
Back at Reba we learnt that Dee has an especially long big toe and for some reason it is now a killer plot point. Julie and Dee caught up by the beach and formed a tight bond. Though being the oldest on the tribe, Julie leant into her mama role and tried to parent her way into an alliance with her. Which she quickly did, with Drew and Austin in tow. Oh and Drew is still convinced he is going to be a dominant power player and ugh, it is funny. Because no.
Over at Lulu, Emily was making in-roads with Kaleb who encouraged her to spend less time focusing on strategy as it is making everyone nervous. He calmly explained to us that he knows it is important to always be open to people in the game, even if you’re not working together, and just like that, she got a second wind. She once again apologised to Sabiyah who returned serve and admitted they were both in the wrong, followed by praising Brandon for his lush hair and assuring Sean she would temper her anxiety. She then had a powerful confessional about how she is learning to overcome her core anxieties and fears and ugh, I love a redemption arc.
The tribes received a note inviting someone to jump on a boat to Journey Island with Drew, Brandon and Bruce heading off, much to Katurah’s absolute irritation. The trio caught everyone up on where things stood at each tribe. Well, now Bruce as he was cagey, while Brandon overshared and Drew wisely offered up minimal information but enough to look like he was deliberately being cagey. The boys split up to find their shot at an advantage, the key being they had to solve a puzzle in three minutes. If they win, they jag the advantage but if they lost, they can’t vote at the next tribal council. Bruce immediately opted out, Brandon was all in while Drew smartly thought through all the risks and TBH, maybe I’ve been too tough on him. Sadly for Brandon he failed, while Drew snatched the advantage and well, I guess I’m now a fan.
Oh and Drew’s advantage is Safety Without Player, which only lasts until Final Ten.
Brandon returned to camp and filled them in on how badly he did during the challenge, with Sean wondering if Brandon has anything to offer the tribe at all, given he hasn’t exactly performed yet. Meanwhile Reba hid from Drew to surprise him before he too opted to give out the full truth and again, I think that is a wise move given it doesn’t really last long. More importantly, it won over Austin who pulled him aside to let him know about his Beware Advantage and I live for this modern JT and Stephen. Meanwhile over at Belo, Brando and the girls rocked their buffs as tops and I love that for him and look forward to him making it to the end with the girls. Sadly Jake and Bruce were aware of the growing alliance and immediately planned to form a counter. Bruce then went person to person trying to get intel. And somehow Brando and Kellie are now the swing votes.
We finally caught a glimpse of Jeffrey as the tribes lined up for the latest immunity challenge where they would climb up a tower and jump off to collect a key, swim to and walk across a balance beam, release puzzle pieces and solve said puzzle. Which has been updated, due to Carson. Oh and the first place tribe would also get a massive fishing kit while second would earn a few bits of gear while the losers get nothing. And the sit out rule has changed and no one can sit out back to back challenges at all, meaning Claire is also living rent free in Jeff’s mind. Emily got Lulu out to an early lead at the balance beam before everyone caught up on the swim. Reba started to pull ahead with Lulu nipping at their heels before Kendra smashed her koochie on the balance beam and fuck, that looked painful. Everyone, obviously, caught up at the puzzle as Brando and Kellie powered through and closed the gap for Belo as Reba jagged immunity just ahead of them, sending Lulu back to tribal council. Thanks to Brandon bombing yet another challenge.
Back at camp Brandon quickly apologised to the tribe for costing them immunity, though assured them he wants to stay. Emily pointed out that it is clearly between them tonight and as such, it is up to the other three to figure it out and left them to come up with a decision. As they tried to jag the idol so Sabiyah could hold on to her vote. Which they finally finally got. Except it is tragically encased in wax, meaning she can’t melt it free and now she needs to win a challenge and get flint before she can get it.
Sabiyah filled Brandon in on what was going on, who praised himself as a social icon and as such, wasn’t too concerned to be heading to tribal with only three votes. Emily meanwhile handed over her Shot in the Dark to Sabiyah to try and form a bond with her and build trust, knowing Emily won’t being trying anything which could risk her. Sadly Sabiyah still wanted to cut her throat before Emily got a chance to turn on her, while the boys tried to remind her that given they will never win with Brandon on the tribe, it makes sense to get rid of him and at least give them a shot.
At tribal council Sabiyah spoke about the feeling of blue balls after Hannah opted out of the game. Brandon admitted he knew it was between him and Emily last time, and that it is still the case tonight. Sean spoke about the fact the duo let them go off to the side to figure things out before Brandon opened up about how he has never been part of a team, though knows he bombed. Talk turned to Emily turning around and making an effort to work better with the tribe. Brandon spoke about the fact he thinks he has just been unlucky and thinks he can be an asset in the next challenge, which Probst called bullshit on, pointing out that he should pitch himself as a waterboy instead. Emily meanwhile spoke about the trauma of watching herself on TV when she gets home, before Brandon opened up about desperately loving Survivor since childhood and how he just hopes that if it comes to an end, he was able to get what he needed out of it.
The tribe then voted and tragically for Brandon, the tribe opted to at least try to jag victory in a challenge and banded to send him home. Allowing Queen Emily to see another day. While I was thrilled by that part of the outcome, I kept my mouth shut as he arrived at Loser Lodge and pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him that his trajectory is 100% how I would do in the game. Plus, in just two episodes Brandon served all the content and as such, he is definitely memorable enough for the inevitable early boots season. Which was enough to earn him a toast in the form of some Chickandon Cordonlon Bleu Balls.
There is really nothing better than a cordon bleu – cheese, ham and crunchy chicken, werk – until you put it in ball form. More crunch, more gooiness and more mobile, making it a win for everyone.
Enjoy!
Chickandon Cordonlon Bleu Balls Serves: 6.
Ingredients 500g chicken mince 2 cups panko breadcrumbs kosher salt & pepper, to taste 50g mozzarella, grated 50g parmesan, grated 50g ham, diced 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp fresh parsley, roughly chopped ½ cup plain flour 1 egg, whisked olive oil spray
Method Preheat the oven to 200C.
Combine the mince and a cup of breadcrumbs with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch until it comes together. Divide the mixture into tablespoon sized balls. Meanwhile stir together the cheeses, ham, garlic and parsley in another bowl.
Working ball by ball, make a little indent and fill with the ham and cheese mixture before folding the chicken around to enclose and form a ball.
Pop the flour in a bowl, the whisked egg in another and the breadcrumbs in the last. Coat the balls in flour, followed by the egg and finally the breadcrumbs, and pop on a lined baking sheet. Repeat the process until done.
Give the balls a spray with the olive oil and pop them in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown. Before serving and devouring.
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Previously on All Stars, way way back at the start of the season, Ru announced that like last year – yas Mama Raja! – there would be a secondary way to win the season. This time, the eliminated queens would be battling it out in the online Fame Games, designed to reward the queen with the best runways. After they were felled one-by-one – Heidi via quitting, making her ineligible – Jessica, Kandy and Jimbo completed makeovers where Kandy slayed and had sole power to decide who she faced off against for the crown. Ultimately choosing not to further anger the fandom against her by taking frontrunner winner to the end, and instead sending the iconic fan-favourite Jessica to the Fame Games. And ideally, guaranteed her the win.
Backstage Jimbo and Kandy were giddy to have landed in the top two, Jimbo in particular, given Kandy kept up their agreement despite her being the bigger threat. After Jimbo did another pointless count since Priyanka had already pulled out all the lipsticks, she admitted that she had truly started to worry about Kandy eliminating her. Kandy meanwhile was thrilled to make it to the top two again, though shocked that they still have an episode left to compete in which is a total gag-a-tondra. Oh and then they had a faux fight for the crown.
The next day the duo were still feeling their oats and trying best to serve us an episode despite it just being the two of them. Well, until Ru dropped by to announce that this week, there won’t actually be a maxi challenge for them to compete in. Instead, the eliminated dolls would be returning starting with Monica, Naysha, MKD – yep, this is happening – Darienne, Jaymes, Kahanna, Lala, Alexis and thankfully, sweet Jessica.
Well, after Ru pretended they’d be picking the winner.
But first, they must read each other for filth. Jessica called out Alexis for crying and Lala for having terrible clothes before Alexis just tried to fuck Lala. She in turn was delightfully brutal, Kahanna was there, Jaymes went in for the kill – I live for her read about, MKD being the only drag story hour children protest – while Darienne and MKD were perfection, Naysha tried her best and Monica was adorable and cute. Kandy then stepped up and completely annihilated, before Jimbo was stunning, stupid and so fun. But there was no way anyone was beating MKD, as she slayed. Oh and the dolls were not there for just a reading challenge. Instead they’d be showing off their skills by starring in The Fame Games Variety Extravaganza. Oh and the top two will serve as hosts and maybe show off a little talent in the process.
Everyone wheeled their suitcases back in and the dolls started to kiki and giggle, while Darienne focused on charming us, the audience. Ru came back to talk to her daughters with Monica, Naysha and MKD thrilled to be back for another chance to take out a win. MKD via rap. Naysha will be dancing while Monica will be lip syncing to her debut single. They traded out with the next three out, with Kahanna cheering to her original song while Darienne will be doing something different, by doing stand up. Oh and Jaymes will be singing and dancing about not having talent. When the last three dropped by, Alexis shared she’d be giving Broadway, Lala will be doing a production to an original song while Jessica will hair flip.
Oh and before departing, Ru announced that the top two in the talent show would be lip syncing for the challenge win, with the victor getting the chance to multiple their Fame Game fan vote via the spin of a wheel. Which is a massive advantage. Or disadvantage, if it rallies people like me behind their favourite and avoid voting for someone else they love. Aka all my votes are going to Jessica, ok?!
After Ru departed the dolls split up to kiki and beat their mugs and damn they were sweet. Alexis is still needy and sweet on Lala, pulling her aside to apologise and surprisingly, not break down in tears. Lala then wandered the crowd and delighted her sisters, while Kandy was glad to not have the pressure of competing. Despite knowing she still needs to do well, given the judges will be watching and there is a crown to fight for next week. Though she looks forward to reading the dolls if they fumble.
Ru, Michelle and the hilarious Ross Mathews were joined on the panel by the icon herself Ego Nwodim as Jimbo and Kandy took to the stage to open the show. As each other and ugh, it was cute and iconic. When it came to the actual performances, first up was Monica Beverly Hillz giving all the energy and was so cute. Naysha got her star moment serving a sultry flamenco number before MKD rapped the house down and Darienne had us all in stitches. And grateful she did something other than a song, standing out in all the right ways. Jaymes was delightful and demented as she showed off her knockers, Kahanna flipped around the stage and absolutely slayed before Lala stole the damn show with a killer song and a wind machine. Alexis’ Broadway number was vampy and cute before Jessica demolished because she is the best and knows how to turn a show, obviously.
The top two then opted to show off their talents, with Jimbo sticking with food, making a sundae to The Final Countdown and like the bologna clown, it was so stupid it was perfection. While Kandy joined the sea of original songs, though let’s be honest it was a bop and you can tell why she made it to the end again.
Kandy and Jimbo were sent backstage to untuck as the judges lavished Monica with praise for showing off her skillz. Naysha was praised for giving such a technical performance with a whole lot of heart. MKD’s performance would have been beloved for no other reason than its message, Darienne was praised for knocking stand-up out of the park, while Jaymes was absolutely beloved for being stupid and making everyone have fun. Kahanna was praised for her mad cheer skills and for doing it with a tuck, Lala rightly got all the flowers for stealing the show while Alexis was praised for singing live and Jessica, rightly, was loved for killing everything but herself on the stage, despite how fast she was whipping her neck around the stage.
Backstage Jimbo and Kandy were thrilled to be able to chill out backstage while their sisters sweated it out on stage. They speculated that Lala would definitely be in top but weren’t sure who would be joining her given Jessica, Naysha and Jaymes were all good. Jimbo tried to get shady, asking whose performance Kandy would want to erase from her mind and never watch ever again. Sadly before we got an answer, the eliminated queens arrived and seeing them all vibe over their positive critiques was just lovely and I’m so happy for all of the dolls.
We then got a supercut off all the runways before Ego dropped by and ugh, I love her too.
Ultimately it was Jaymes who finished in the top two with Lala and while I thought the latter was going to demolish the lip sync, as soon as Gaga and Ariana’s Rain On Me kicked off, it was clear Jaymes wanted those extra votes. Of course Lala gave the full experience, while Jaymes was giving Lala her own experience. It was so fun that both Jaymes and Lala were deemed the winner and as such, both of them jagged a spin of the wheel with Jaymes getting to double her numbers while Lala got lucky and would be tripling hers.
As they celebrated, I snuck up behind Kandy, tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to come with me to toast her run. Which obviously didn’t go down well, given Kandy pointed out she is still in the running and as such, Jimbo could go first. Plus, I don’t have star quality, or something like that. After things escalated and then calmed down, I pointed out that the only fair way to do things – like last season – was on track record and TBH, the winner’s post generally gets less traffic as it is post season. And knowing she would win the number somewhere, gladly joined me backstage to smash a Mexicandy Dip Muse.
Not quite a queso yet not a famed seven layer dip, this mash-up is nearly as flawless of the iconic Miss Muse. Spicy, creamy and packed full of flavour, it has star quality and is perfect for a two time top-two finisher.
Enjoy!
Mexicandy Dip Muse Serves: 6.
Ingredients 1 ½ cup sour cream ½ cup salsa, store bought not Salsa Struthers, in this instance only ½ cup black beans, lightly mashed 2 tsp dried parsley 1 tsp dried Mexican oregano 1 tsp chilli powder ½ tsp garlic powder ½ tsp onion powder ½ tsp kosher salt ½ cup Mexican cheese, shredded Tortéa Leoni Chips, for dippin’
Method Pop everything in a bowl – excluding the chips, obviously – and stir to combine.
Then serve and devour, like an icon.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Simon broke down after voting out his friend Jordie, which annoyed the hell out of Liz, who was actually aligned with Jordie. Obviously Nina saw the growing tension, getting into Liz’s ear and making an alliance to go to the end with her. And even Sam became likeable, after announcing that he too wanted to align with Liz. At the immunity challenge, Shonee and George were gutted to learn about the Jordie boot, so hilariously threw the challenge in an obvious fashion. Since everyone thought Flick was given Simon’s immunity idol, the OG Villains decided to vote for Ben given it was unlikely they’d play it for him. Which was the correct assumption as Flick was crushed to learn the idol she played for Matt was a fake – and that she was potentially played – while Ben was tragically booted from the game.
Back at camp Flick was well and truly feeling like a goose, though Matt was feeling good that she at least wanted to protect him. George asked her for the background on everything that went down, with Flick immediately assuming Simon was coming for her as revenge for their first season. And given George is iconic, he obviously agreed with her as the new Heroes tribe all raged about how terrible of a player Simon is. And you best believe Flick is planning to channel a little bit of George at the next challenge and completely blow up his game.
The next day Flick was still completely enraged, assuring George that she will never work with Simon ever again. They spoke about how stupid his plan was to give a fake idol, with Flick explaining that Shaun had even seen the idol and didn’t realise it was fake. Which led to them all explaining it isn’t hard, given what David did to him in his first season. Knowing the merge was imminent, George realised he needed to pull in another person and as such, approached Matt to come over to the Villains and take control. And while Matt didn’t immediately sign up for it, he did say that if he aligns with them, you best believe he is with them till the end. Matt then asked who would be the first target if he joined them, with Shonee smartly telling him they would vote out whoever he wanted. Oh and then when Matt proposed he bring one other person with him, Shonee agreed a buy one get one free would be ok to her. Like an icon.
Over at the Villains they were blissfully unaware that Simon was about to be destroyed, as Hayley diligently worked while Simon felt he was living the hero’s life. Since he gave up the idol and showed he was a man of his word and now, he will live out his dream and make the merge. And oh god, I feel bad for him. Liz meanwhile was thrilled to have secured a majority on the tribe alongside Nina, Dave and Sam, with Simon the number one target on her hitlist. And she is ready to give him a reality check ASAP. She pulled him aside to show off her idol, asking if he would be willing to show his and instead of saying he gave it away, he told her he isn’t sure he can trust her enough to do that. She then immediately called him out for giving up his idol and turning on Jordie and let’s just say, he could not handle it.
Liz ventured back to camp as Simon tried to clear the air, while she straight up destroyed him, asking him to explain what happened to the idol while everyone in camp watched just how good she can be. Concerned about how angry she was with Simon, Dave approached her to check in and see how she was doing, unsure how to manage her emotions should they return to tribal council. And while he pushed for Simon to go, she pointed out that nobody trusts him or wants to work with him, and as such, getting rid of a real threat like Hayley makes even more sense.
The tribes came together with JLP at the beach where the new Villains spoke about how glad they were to see Ben go – fucking vom – before Flick agressively came for Simon. Much to his absolute shock. As everyone turned on him, he tried to reiterate how he believed it was an idol with George and Flick calling him out for lying before George pointed out that Simon has no idea what is going on. And Shaun got played by being handed a fake idol not once, but twice.
As is becoming tradition, let’s get back to the reward challenge though, where the tribes would face off one on one to climb a net and grab a ring before trying to land it on a post, with the first tribe to 3 winning a massive Chinese banquet. First up were Matt and Shaun with the latter making quick work of things and taking out the first point for the Villains. Stevie was up next against Liz and while the Olympian was first to the net, Stevie took out the lead and scored the point without even wearing his glasses. Like an icon. Simon and George then faced off in a grudge match, with Simon getting to an early lead before knocking off his ring and allowing George to toss it off course. To quote JLP, it became the battle of the tossers with Shonee pointing out Simon has it in the bag. And he did, after throwing George’s ring off the course to boot. Next up were Sam and Flick, with Flick using the time to suggest the Villains throw the next immunity challenge to get rid of Simon because he is a snake and ugh, I love her. Oh and then Sam won the reward for the Villains. Eventually.
Back at camp the Villains were gagged to see just how epic their banquet was as they filled up their plates with food as everyone joked about the fortune cookies having a clue to the hidden immunity idol. Which you know will be the case. Everyone went quiet as they smashed their food before Sam – again, do I love him? – asked if they should address the Simon shaped elephant in the room, with him immediately copping to the fact he just assumed it was an idol without paperwork. And while nobody believed him, I feel bad, because he can’t help being trolled by production. He apologised for the situation – his stupidity – while Liz said that she was told it just looked like a piece of wood. While everyone looked completely enraged, as Shaun spoke about how gutted he was for Flick, given it could have humiliated her. Simon tried to play it cool and offered a chance for everyone to talk to him, with Sam admitting he probably would have been fooled too and while he assured them it was done for the betterment of the tribe, they clearly didn’t buy it.
While Simon tried to apologise to everyone, Sam reminded him he probably should be apologising to Flick. Shaun though wisely pointed out to us that he swore on his kids life in exchange for an idol and since it wasn’t one, the deal is off. And since the new Heroes want him gone, he got to work rallying everyone to throw the challenge and make their dreams come true.
The tribes reconnected with JLP for the immunity challenge where one on one they would race out to a station to memorise symbols and recreate the sequence, with the first tribe to three taking out immunity. After Simon sat out – what, bro?! – Shaun elected to face off against George with Shaun pretending to be stupid long enough to let George take out the first point. Next up Liz – out of the loop – tied things up against Shonee before Hayley took things slowly against Stevie, who put the Heroes out in front once again. As Flick and George quietly whispered about the Villains clearly throwing it. Oh and then Nina and Gerry faced off, with King Gerry taking out the win. Just as everyone but Simon wanted.
Back at camp the tribe danced around the fact they threw the challenge, with Hayley thrilled by how easy it will be to get rid of Simon. Sam being Sam, he checked in with Simon to talk feelings as Shaun, Dave, Nina and Hayley caught up about splitting the vote between Simon and Liz, with a single vote thrown on Sam for safety. Simon caught up with Shaun, happy to offer himself up as the sacrificial lamb in a split between himself and Liz. And while he was nervous, he knew he had to roll with it if he wanted to last much longer in the game. But obviously, Simon gonna Simon, pulling Liz aside to see what she knew, with her simply suggesting he look for a real idol. Hayley and Sam meanwhile caught up, with the latter suggesting someone else needs to have a vote put on them, worrying that it would once again be him.
As such, Sam caught up with Shaun to see what was happening and somehow, he saw it was all bullshit. He then pulled Nina aside to see what was actually happening, given Shaun’s story wasn’t adding up. With Nina quickly spilling the beans on the plan for Sam to be the sacrificial lamb should both the OG Villains have an idol, before the duo flipped the script on Hayley and locked in a vote for their secret alliance with Dave and Liz to get rid of the only winner on the cast. Nina pulled Liz aside to tell her Shaun and Hayley’s plan, which she was obviously not keen on, so she immediately locked in Nina and Sam’s plan to blindside Hayley instead.
At tribal council Simon spoke about how terrified he was after being destroyed by Flick and Co, before questioning JLP on what exactly he pulled out of the cookie jar. With Jonathan thrilled to point out he only found a clue to which coconut had an idol under it. With Hayley wisely asking if that meant the idol had already been found. Thankfully for Simon – if you’re a fan – he felt vindicated that the producers confirmed he didn’t do it to spite anyone. Liz spoke about how tight the OG Heroes are and how disappointed she was to not be able to find an in, as David winked at her for playing the part so well. Simon turned things back to himself, pointing out he is now a gun for hire and as such, people need to use him when they can, rather than sending him out. While Shaun pointed out that both Simon and Liz add value to them. Sam spoke about how shocked he was to receive votes at the last tribal council, admitting that it makes him question his place in the tribe if they were willing to take the risk. While Liz just wasn’t sure if she could trust things enough not to play her idol.
Right on cue, JLP announced that this tribal council had a spoil and things would play out a little differently, as he wheeled out the Heroes before announcing that the Villains had a single opportunity to mutiny. One by one, they would go up to vote and if they wanted the shot, they were to write down their name, if not, they do nothing. If there is one name in the urn, they mutiny but if there are multiple – or none – they have to draw rocks to decide who goes. Liz pretty much signalled she is ready to go back to her friends, while Simon desperately wanted to take a shot at safety while David pointed out that it is a bad idea, since they hate him. Shaun meanwhile was busy whispering, suggesting if he goes over, it could be enough to win some people back. With that the tribe voted and Liz took the opportunity, while whispering to Nina about how they are still tight and she will fight for them to get all the intel.
The next day Stevie and Gerry bonded over being hard of hearing and enjoying being able to listen to people on their terms. Meanwhile the Spice Girls reunion tour was in full swing as Shonee and Liz went bathing in the ocean, holding each other close and living their best lives. And well, Shonee was feeling like she and George are particularly unstoppable. The trio hung out in the shelter, speculating whether a merge was imminent or whether they would get lucky enough to send the Villains back to tribal council one last time. Though when Liz told George that should the previous tribal council had played out, Hayley would have been blindsided, George was nervous about them returning given he knows it is better for both of their games if he and Hayley work together.
Flick meanwhile was feeling well and truly on the outs, but bless, she got to work bonding with Liz and working her social game a little bit. Liz boldly asked who she was working with on the original Heroes tribe and given Flick somehow found out who Liz had been working with, she opened up about vibing with Sam, Nina and Dave. And what do you know, just like that, Flick had almost worked her way into the girl gang. That is until she approached George and suggested she work with the Spice Girls to take control at the merge. He then pulled Gerry aside to fill him in on Flick’s powers and suggested they need to get rid of her ASAP, not just to keep Shiz in their pocket but also protect Hayley on the other side. So basically, we’re looking at another thrown challenge, this time going back to the new Heroes.
The tribes reunited with Jonathan for a massive challenge for a trip to the Survivor sandwich shop, where they would pull a cart through a series of obstacles to collect balls before shooting them into three baskets held up by their tribemates. Obviously the Villains got out to an early lead, though the Heroes managed to stay surprisingly close on their tails. Until the ramp happened, where the Heroes straight up got stuck and allowed the Villains to power ahead and start shooting their baskets before the Heroes even crossed the ramp. Oh and then Dave, a professional athlete, promptly landed ball after ball and took out the win for the Villains. As George warned Hayley that Nina had been gunning for her at the last tribal council. So you know shit is about to hit the fan.
We followed the Villains off to the reward where we learnt that, as is oft the case, the tribe would each go to the sandwich bar one at a time with the order decided by consensus. So yeah, obviously there is an advantage hidden there. And while Nina asked to go first, Hayley wisely said sticks is the fairest way to play things. Which obviously scared Nina, given she saw George whispering to Hayley after the challenge and didn’t want her anywhere near the start if she was nervous about being blindsided. While she got lucky with Shaun picking the shortest stick, Hayley was second and after Shaun came back empty handed – though full – Hayleyhad hope. Sadly for her, she also found nothing, as did everyone that came after until Sam trashed things and confirmed that maybe there really was nothing hidden there this time.
Meanwhile over with the Heroes, Matt watched on as the girls frolicked in the ocean, wary of the way Flick had weasled her way into their alliance. As such, he knew he desperately needed to make a final pitch to join the alliance ahead of her, pulling George aside to sell himself as the ultimate spy come the merge. And obviously pledge his undying loyalty to George and Gerry. Giving George the magic 7 people needed to take control. And oh God, do I ship this alliance?
The tribes came together for the latest immunity challenge – the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours – where everyone would have to hold a sandbag tethered to a trough above their head, with the last tribe standing high and dry winning immunity. Oh and one person on each tribe would race to solve a puzzle, with the first to finish getting the chance to kick someone out of the lineup from the opposing tribe. Everyone took their places as Stevie and Nina raced to finish the puzzle and while Nina was calm and methodical, Stevie was messy and a little bit chaotic. And while his tribe tried to keep him focused and upbeat, the writing was on the wall as they braced for Matt to be kicked out of the challenge. Which Nina did without hesitation after demolishing the puzzle, as Liz took on the second bag. After ten minutes, it started to rain making it even harder for everyone to hold on to the bags as Liz and Flick desperately tried to hold strong. Before they dropped after 20 minutes, sending the Heroes back to tribal council.
Back at camp the mood was decidedly sombre as Stevie apologised for bombing the puzzle, while George admitted to us that he isn’t overly upset, giving he can get rid of Flick and maintain control coming into the merge. He pulled Gerry aside to reiterate how important it is to get rid of her so they can topple the Heroes, with Gerry assuring him that he is positive that Matt is on their side. George then caught up with Stevie who was thrilled that Flick was the target, though assured him it was important that Shonee and Liz don’t find out how close they’ve grown to Matt. Which seems like a little misstep, but whatever. George caught up with Shiz, with the girls obviously suggesting they get rid of Matt with George trying to explain that from his experience with Flick, she won’t actually have their back long term and it is safer for all of them if they get rid of her now.
Not being her first rodeo, Flick realised that nobody was talking to her and as such, she knew that her name was being thrown around. She decided to address it head on, pulling George aside and asking him what the plan is and while he assured her Matt was the target, she still felt uneasy. Uneasy, but not exactly sure what she could do to change anything. Aside from pulling the girls aside and pitching her case to them. She reiterated that Matt is definitely going to flip back to the OG Heroes as soon as possible, so she would love to work with them to get rid of him as she will stay loyal. And she and Liz have the same friends in the OG Heroes tribe. As the girls tried to convince George that she was an asset, Flick approached them to try her luck herself before Shonee wandered off with her. Leaving Liz to point out to George that she also doesn’t want to get rid of any more women yet. And after she couldn’t convince him to change his mind, she walked off, leaving George very nervous about pushing too hard to get rid of Flick, whether it means he is breaking up the band at the same time.
At tribal council Liz spoke about how thrilled she was to be reunited with her allies, while Flick admitted she feels like how Liz was feeling at the Villains tribe, well and truly at the bottom. Just like Matt. Stevie meanwhile was comfortable with this alliance, emphasis on this, which should be a warning to Shiz. Shonee spoke about how the differing opinions within alliances can be frustrating, however George tried to remind everyone that they, as a tribe, need to focus on having the strongest chance come the merge. While Liz tried to remind him that sometimes, you need to bend a little. Matt meanwhile laid his cards on the table, assuring everyone that he doesn’t want to take advantage of cracks and instead, work together and go far.
Flick meanwhile gave her hail mary plea, telling the OG Villains that she definitely has the best shot at pulling in the numbers they need from the other tribe. And she loves the girls and told George that she finally wants to work with him to boot. Gerry meanwhile was having none of it, telling her that he was screwed by the Heroes once and he knows they are going to want to pull Flick back in. As he and Flick spoke, George and Shonee whispered about the vote, with Liz telling Shonee to tell him that if he refuses to budge from Flick, she will give her her idol. And while he told her it was a waste, she was firm that she will be protecting her. This spooked George, who asked to talk to Gerry, telling him that the girls will play an idol to protect Flick and as such, they need to pick Matt or Stevie to go. And ugh, Gerry chose Stevie to be sacrificed, just as Shonee told Stevie how gorge he was looking tonight.
George returned to the group, whispering to Shiz that he would be willing to get rid of Stevie as a compromise. Which they quickly agreed to, as Stevie spoke about how difficult a vote it would be, given he has genuinely grown to love everyone. With that the tribe finally voted, Liz wisely held on to her idol and the OG Spice Girls – and I’m including Gerry in that – banded together to blindside Stevie from the game. And ugh, he was absolutely gutted. After quietly making his way to Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him that despite just missing the merge, he still played a very strong game and sadly was just struck by a stray bullet. Which had him feeling ok before he became positively jubilant upon seeing the massive plate of Stevie Bakhouw Wrapped Franks.
While it is kind of difficult to call this a recipe – given it is so simple – there is no denying these are a delicious little snack. Sweet and salty, they go well at a little party, celebrating game day – aka Rhianna’s recent halftime show – or my fave, as a breakfast snack when you had too much to drink at the aforementioned party.
Cut the bacon rashers in half and wrap around the chipolatas, either securing with a toothpick or placing them join-down on a lined baking sheet.
Transfer the baking sheet to the oven and cook for about 20 minutes, or until cooked through and crisp.
Serve piping hot with your favourite sauces, for optimal devouring conditions.
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Previously on Survivor 18 new castaways were marooned on the islands of Fiji to start the (shortened) adventure of a lifetime. After losing back to back – or it is Baka to Baka – challenges, Baka went to tribal and tragically booted sweet Morriah from the competition. That departure set off a chain reaction of females getting targeted, with Justine, Nneka and Lindsay all following her out the door.
After a brief reprieve to blindside Geo from the game, the three tribes were dissolved and we entered the earn-the-merge phase of the game. Gabler led the charge against his nemesis Elie, booting her from the game before the Gaia tribe was formed. At that point Dwight was blindsided, seemingly with Jeanine’s idol in his pocket before Jeanine was booted to become the Queen of the Jury. In a split tribal council James and Ryan were booted back-to-back before Noelle proved too great a threat to leave in the game, before Sami’s double dealing saw him joining the jury right behind her.
At the final six things got feisty as Jesse pulled out Cody’s idol and played it on Owen to spook Karla into playing hers, allowing the tribe to blindside Cody from the game in a brutal fashion. That left Karla in danger at final five after Jesse played Jeanine’s idol to save himself, sending Queen Karla to the jury. Tragically that was as far as Jesse’s journey went though, as Cassidy took out final immunity, pulled Owen to the end with her and left Gabler to eliminate the biggest threat in the fire challenge.
The jury grilled the final three to figure out who they felt was most deserving of the win and while they each argued compelling cases, it was clear they were vibing with Gabler’s charming answers. Which ultimately left Owen finishing in third place and Cassidy as a very capable runner-up.
Thankfully despite sharing his plans to donate the entire prize to charity with us earlier in the episode, Gabler kept it a surprise to the jury meaning people couldn’t use it as a way to invalidate his win. As Gabler clearly articulated throughout the season, he played a stealth game, popping up to take out his rivals when needed and dropping back down to hide when he didn’t need to make a play. And while that isn’t always exciting to watch, it is effective and add in the fact he is a fun character, he makes a worthy entrant in the winner’s circle.
Plus the way he donated the prize to Veterans in Need in his fathers name had me crying. By the time he sweetly dedicated the win to everyone in the cast and how they all gave him something to learn and grow from, which is what compelled him to give back, I was a blubbering mess as I toasted his victory with a piping out tray of Mike Gabler Cheese Balls.
Gloriously gooey mac and cheese formed into perfect balls, chilled, coated and fried until crunchy, these are the perfect dish for providing you with culinary comfort or to mark a hard fought victory.
Enjoy!
Mike Gabler Cheese Balls Serves: 6.
Ingredients 500g macaroni pasta ¼ cup butter 2 ¼ cups flour 3 cups milk 1 cup cream 2 tbsp dijon mustard 1 cup cheddar cheese, grated ⅔ cup gruyere cheese, grated ⅓ cup parmesan cheese, grated salt and pepper, to taste 3 eggs, whisked 2 cups panko breadcrumbs vegetable oil, for fryin’
Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil and cook macaroni according to packet directions. While the pasta is cooking, melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat and stir in ¼ cup of flour to make a roux. Remove from the heat and whisk in milk, cream and mustard before returning to the heat and simmering until thickened. Add ¾ of each of the cheeses and season to taste. Pour into a lined baking sheet and allow to cool before covering and popping in the fridge for an hour or two to firm up.
When you’re ready to go, take ¼ cup of mixture and roll into balls and place on a lined baking sheet. Roll each in the remaining flour, followed by the whisked egg and finally the breadcrumbs.
Pop about 2 inches of vegetable oil in a deep saucepan over medium heat and once scorching, fry each ball for about five minutes or until golden and crunchy. Remove to drain on some paper towel before repeating the process until done. Then devour, greedily.
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Previously on Canada’s Drag Race vs the World – how much easier would that have flowed, amirite – nine dolls from around the globe said Bonjour! Hi! to the Canadian stage. The Season 2 dolls stuck together, as did the camp queens leaving Vanity, Silky and Ra’Jah to form the greatest Drag Race girl group this side of the Frock Destroyers. Obviously they destroyed the competition, while the other teams were a mixture of strong moments and a couple of missteps. Somehow Rita landed in the top with Vanity – I feel like this should have been Ra’Jah’s, but oh well – while Kendall and Stephanie landed in the bottom. Obviously Vanity dominated the lip sync – because, duh, it’s Vanity – before giving Stephanie another shot to shine by sending Kendall home.
Backstage Stephanie was feeling super grateful to have been saved before everyone toasted Kendall for being an absolute delight. Silky meanwhile led the dolls in praising Vanity, before they went for the tea as talk turned to who Rita would have sent home and while she tried to fake it out, admitted she too would have sent Kendall home as Stephanie was more in need of a second chance. Though shared with us that Kendall was actually more of a threat. Vanity shared that Stephanie talking about being the only Asian queen on the cast spoke to her on a deep level, as the only black queen on her original season. The talk of representation made Victoria feel brave enough to call out Stephanie for using the term fishy and while Stephanie spoke about the fact she has reclaimed it from the Philippines, Victoria explained that it is also deeply derogatory to women and as such hoped they could all learn about each other’s cultures and grow. And ugh, I love how maturely they handled it.
The next day the dolls were feeling energetic and ready to slay another week, none more so than Stephanie who was just glad to be around. Anita opened up about feeling a bit put out during the first week as the only person from her franchise, though had found her feet due to their kindness and was ready to slay. Icesis questioned if there were any alliances and while everyone downplayed it, Ra’Jah the icon called out Canada for pairing off in the first week and kind of sending that message. Before we could get any drama Brooke arrived to open the bibliotheque because what? Reading is fundamental. Victoria was charming and full of rhyme, Vanity was a total mess, Stephanie was not much better, Ra’Jah meanwhile was hard on her sister but no one else, Icesis was also a mess, Rita was also bad and well, is this the worst reading challenge of all time? Thankfully Silky brought some charm and while the jokes didn’t always land, her personality did. While Anita was cute and brutal which was more than enough to jag herself victory in the mini challenge.
Oh and did I mention this week’s Maxi Challenge is the Snatch Game? Because it is, but with a political twist.
Everyone split up to get into character with Silky and Anita hoping to go two from two in Snatch Game, while Stephanie was very nervous, given she never made it far enough in her first season. Brooke returned to kiki with the girls with Ra’Jah thinking she will play Big Freedia or Grace Jones, hoping to live up to her killer Latoya. Rita was excited to do French drag icon Guilda, while Icesis was going to be rocking Pamela Anderson until Brooke talked her out of it and into her back-up choice of Donatella. Anita is trying to follow-up her winning turn as Queen Elizabeth with Adele and ugh, this makes me nervous given Ginger did her SO well. Stephanie meanwhile was going with cursed celeb Snatch character Cardi B. Vanity was deciding between Megan the Stallion or Spice while Victoria would be giving us Kim Woodburn and Silky was planning to slay as Lizzo.
We pivoted to the Snatch Game Summit where Vanity had all the energy and charm. Stephanie started off energetic and ridiculous, Rita gave Parisienne glam, Anita was a bit of a mess, Silky was Silky and Icesis was killer from the very first moment as she read Brooke for filth. Speaking of filth, Victoria had Kim down. Icesis was hilarious and ridiculous from start to finish while Ra’Jah was bouncing off everyone like ping pong balls. At the other end of the pack Stephanie was an absolute mess, Silky struggled to land a joke and poor Anita was swallowed up amongst the pack.
Elimination Day arrived with everyone gagged to see Brooke backstage when she escorted Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to the Werk Room. Prime. Minister. What the hell? Oh my God! The dolls kikied with the PM before he gave a global call to action to stop being bigotted and to embrace difference and well, I love it. I love him, I love them. I mean he read Brooke by asking where he would find RuPaul and ugh, gold! After he disappeared the dolls spoke about the power of having the PM enter the Werk Room with Stephnie breaking down about how politicians like him are the reason she could be an immigrant and ugh, I’m crying.
Sadly Justin disappeared by judging as Brooke and Traci were joined by Sarain Fox and fellow Snatch Game bottom and Season 1 victor, what’s her name? Priyanka, obviously. On the Celestial Bodies runway Silky was a perfect alien dragon deity, mid-tour of the galaxy. Ra’Jah was stunning in a glorious midnight blue outfit, giving a silver elf. Anita was perfect as the queen of the moon, shimmering across the stage while Rita was a flaming, smoking sun. Stephanie was stunning as a glorious golden deity, Vanity was a shimmering, spiky sex pot while Victoria was a beautiful molten Saturn before Icesis closed the show in a moody deity-does-Victorian-glamour number.
Ultimately Rita and Vanity were sent to safety before Silky was praised for bringing the fun on the runway though read for going round in circles during the Snatch summit. Ra’Jah meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being fun, energetic and entertaining during Snatch Game and for making yet another glorious runway. Anita’s runway received all the love, though the judges hated her Adele. She broke down about how much she was struggling in the season and ugh, it is hard to watch because she is usually so much fun. Stephanie was read for relying on the Cardi mannerisms and not giving any peaks and valleys. Though her runway, obviously, was beloved. Victoria’s outfit was praised though they felt she didn’t go far enough in Snatch Game. She opened up about the pressure of being the first cis contestant, though hearing everyone lift her up was great. Icesis’ look was loved, though her Snatch Game was only better given she absolutely dominated.
Obviously, it was Ra’Jah and Icesis that landed in the top two while Silky and Victoria were sent to safety, leaving Stephanie and Anita at risk of going home.
Backstage the dolls grabbed a drink before Stephanie opened up about how disappointed she was to land in the bottom again, while Anita admitted she feels heartbroken to be in the bottom, given this is what they do. Victoria meanwhile spoke about being disappointed to have not excelled, though agreed that Icesis and Ra’Jah were far and away the best. Anita caught up with Ra’Jah assuring her that she will turn things around and wanted to face challenges she didn’t get the chance to do in her original season. And while Ra’Jah knew that getting rid of Anita could make the upcoming comedy challenges easier, she is also losing confidence and that could make her easier to face. Icesis meanwhile asked Stephanie what she would give the competition if she stayed, though also admitted that she didn’t want to chop another Canadian. As the safe queens eavesdropped, Stephanie opened up to Ra’Jah about how she is struggling amongst the louder personalities while Anita tried to prove to Icesis she is a veteran and will turn a show, but just needs another chance.
After Icesis and Ra’Jah selected their lipsticks we returned to the mainstage where their new rocker outfits made a lot more sense as Avril’s Sk8r Boi kicked off. And well, despite the lols, the dolls killed it. Ra’Jah was brazen, bold and gave us ballet AND bating, Icesis meanwhile was full rocker, hitting every lyric and oozing attitude all over the floor. Sadly though there could only be one winner as Icesis took out victory and opted to give our Down Under hero another week to shine, eliminating her sister Stephanie from the competition.
As she hilariously called her a hoe via song on her way out the door.
Backstage, despite the disappointment, Stephanie was an absolute delight; thrilled to get to compete with her international sisters. And more importantly, grateful to be in the presence of zaddy Justin Trudeau, because duh. I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she is always iconic – I mean, she was drag Sidney Prescott so don’t come for me – and as such, I was thrilled to toast her success with some Stuphaning Prites.
Sure, the name is a little clunky but we’ve ticked over into the festive season so you best believe, I will be eating festively whether it makes sense or not. And these little panettone stuffing bites – adapted from Nigella – are the perfect way to start. Sweet, salty and oh so carby, they will have you coming back for more.
Pop the shallots, apple, pancetta, celery, sage, garlic and chilli flakes in a food processor and blitz until finely chopped and mushy.
Heat a few tablespoons of the oil in a large frying pan and cook the mixture over medium-low heat, stirring semi-frequently, for about 15 minutes. Or until fragrant and softened. Transfer to a large bowl and crumble in the chestnuts before stirring through the zest and juice of the lemon. Crumble in the panettone and give another good stir to combine until it forms a stodgy paste before folding in the eggs.
Line a 30x20cm baking dish and press the mixture in, smoothing the top as you go. Transfer to the oven to bake for about half an hour or until browned and crisp on the edges and an inserted skewer comes out clean.
Leave to cool for about half an hour before cutting into bite-sized squares for a festive party snack, or larger portions if you’re using it as a side. Either way, devour.
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Previously on Drag Race UK after the top four slayed the final challenge by putting on an epic show with their eliminated sisters. You know, Just May, Starlet, Copper, Sminty, Baby, Le Fil, Dakota and Pixie! They stomped the runway in Grand Finale Eleganza and despite everyone nailing the assignment, only two were able to continue on in the competition as the four badge queens stuck around, eliminating Jonbers and Peppa to watch on from the back of the stage.
Danny and Cheddar took their places to lip sync for the crown to Dame Shrley Bassey’s This is My Life and well, the entire performance was an absolute slay. Cheddar leant into the emotion, was dainty and ethereal while Danny gave bold, brassy and all the fire to snatch the crown. Both of the queens were in the pocket from start to finish, well and truly proving why this is the strongest top two in any franchise of Drag Race. Ever. And while it should have been a double crowning, sadly Ru opted to stick with only one winner, handing the crown to Danny Beard and relegating Cheddar to the hall of four badge runner-ups alongside the icons Bimini and Ella.
Which honestly, is pretty damn good company.
While Cheddar was disappointed as she found me backstage, she held her head up high reminding me that as she said to Ru and Michelle, she is a star. And the win wouldn’t change that. Which TBH, made me feel a little bit better.
Like many a UK finalist before her Cheddar never really put a foot wrong, giving a collection of perfect runways that always had a message, bringing humour and charm to all that she did and well, to quote Ru, always being so damned polished. As such, I was thrilled to honour her win-worthy run with a big fat bowl of Bacon Cheddar Gorgeous Dip to help dull the disappointment.
This copycat of my favourite dip growing up may not be as classy as Cheds, but it sure as hell is just as delicious. Rich, salty and smacking you in the face with all the flavour, you could eat the entire vat and never regret it.
Ingredients 8 rashers streaky bacon, diced and fried until crisp 4 shallots, sliced 2 cups cheddar cheese, grated 1 cup sour cream 1 cup Shayonnaise Swain ¼ tsp sriracha ½ tsp dijon mustard 1 garlic clove, finely minced small handful parsley, roughly chopped
Method Pop everything in a bowl and stir until well combined. Cover and transfer to the fridge to chill for an hour or so.
Then remove and serve with crackers. Or you know, just devour with a spoon because cheddar truly is gorgeous!
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