Butter

Chorizjoe Blacroquettes

Party Food, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 2, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls worked tirelessly for four weeks, culminating in a glorious morning TV show where Bimini was an absolute star, despite Lawrence slaying and taking out her second win of the season. At the other end of the pack Sister Sister faded while Ginny stayed at one note which resulted in the duo landed in the bottom to lip sync for their lives. Only Ginny woke up and chose chaos that day – which, relatable given everything going on in the world at that time – exiting the competition mid-lip sync while Sister Sister gave it her all for safety. Unaware that she was already safe, thanks to Ginny.

Backstage the queens were in shock after Ginny self-eliminated, with Sister confirming that she didn’t even realise that Ginny had quit and that she was on stage by herself. Lawrence spoke about being pissed off about Ginny quitting, while Sister Sister wondered whether she deserved to still be in the competition or whether she is now just there by default. The queens sat down to kiki on the couch with A’Whora sliding back into the villain role by saying she was more shocked that Ginny was in the bottom two over Veronica, which continued to annoy Veronica until Bimini pointed out that her killer look clearly saved her. Veronica warned that nothing will keep her down and she will fight it out until the end. Before Tayce then jumped in and called her cocky, leading to another fight and damn, are these girls stressed.

Tia admitted that if they were all judging the bottom two, things would be different before Lawrence cut her off and pissed her off. This led to them almost cutting each other, until Ru arrived to announce that EVERYONE will be going home because Miss Rona – what I think is making all the girls a little more stressed than usual, TBH – and reconvene once it is safe.

Seven months later, Ru decorated the expanded Werk Room for a homecoming party with A’Whora first to re-enter, energised, nipped and tucked and ready to fight. Bimini was glorious, plasticised and hating on COVID, Ellie loved working the drive through again back home, Lawrence was feeling rusty after not working for so long, Sister Sister was fiery and loving her face work while Tayce was charming, ridiculous and now living with A’Whora full time. Oh and Tia was charming, lovely and didn’t change a thing, aside from less nervous energy.

While the girls awaited Veronica’s arrival, Ru returned in full Ginny Lemon cosplay to announce that Veronica has COVID-19 and as such, will not be returning to the competition. But she is invited to win Season 3. With the tragic news out of the way, Ru invited the three person brit Crew to entertain the girls in giant animal outfits. Wait, no, psych – it is the three eliminated queens, who have returned to plead their case to replace Veronica in the competition. Joe simply asked the queens to give her the chance to show a little bit more, Cherry reminded everyone she is a nurse and worked through the pandemic and come on, she deserves it for that alone. Oh and Asttina shared that she has evolved – and looked even sexier, somehow – which TBH, should scare the queens. Ultimately Ellie, Tia, Sister Sister, Lawrence and Tayce all voted to give Joe another shot in the competition while A’Whora and Bimini weren’t scared, voting for Asttina return.

At least they got gift bags, no? But honestly, not one person voted for the iconic, gorgeous frontline worker?! After the year she just had – how rude!

With the new top eight set in stone, Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge she would pit the queens against each other in two girl groups at RuRuVision, writing and recording their own lyrics to UK, Hun? and perform it live on the mainstage, complete with choreography. As the returning queen, Joe Black was named one of the team captains with Lawrence handed the other given she won the last challenge. Joe quickly snatched up Tia, Sister and Ellie Diamond while Lawrence snagged Bimini and Tayce, with A’Whora joining them by default. Much to her absolute disgust and disappointment.

The groups quickly split up, with Team Joe thrilled by her selections and the queens confident they will win. Meanwhile Bimini was feeling her oats on the other couches and ugh, this is going to be good. We flipped back to Joe’s Team who selected the name Bananadrama, while A’Whora suggested the name United Kingdolls for Team Lawrence, which is correct in every way. Team Joe spoke about potential outfits, with Joe nervous about not really having anything ‘young’ enough for a girl group. Meanwhile the United Kingdolls were laughing about the other team, while Bananadrama felt they were ignoring the fact the challenge requires a high level of camp rather than looking like a girl group.

That being said, the Frock Destroyers would like a word.

Ru returned to chat to the queens, with Tia sharing that finding out that Veronica won’t be returning shook her, however the break was long enough to make her believe in herself rather than needing her friend’s support. Joe meanwhile was excited to get another chance to shine, Ellie was confident in her singing and dancing ability and more importantly, was confident in Sister’s new teeth. Despite any growing pains settling in with their new size. Meanwhile Ru loved the name United Kingdolls, though seemed nervous about A’Whora’s lack of singing ability. Though Tayce was confident in their diversity as a team and was sure that not being a one note group would carry them to victory.

Bananadrama were first up to record the track with MNEK on the mainstage, with Sister nervous about dropping the lyrics with her new teeth. Though she knocked it out of the park, as did Ellie living her Miley best life. Joe was less confident, though was camp and charming and you know, if Toto can add extra syllables to lines so can Joe. See-gar, or sig-ar, be damned. Oh and Tia slayed her rap. A’Whora was up first for the United Kingdolls, giving demented, hilarious, erotic energy and I live. Bimini was doing unintentional key changes before MNEK reminded her to inject Bimini, which she knocked out of the park when she did. Tayce’s lyrics were fire, as was her energy and ugh, I’m getting goosebumps. Will this challenge be as iconic as last season’s? Please. Lawrence started out nervous, bland and slow. But I have a feeling this is another fake out, right?

Team Joe got to work on their choreography with Ellie and Tia taking the lead, eventually butting heads given Ellie was trying to go creative while Tia was trying to keep it simple enough for Joe who admitted to not being able to dance. Tayce and Bimini meanwhile led the other team, not caring about Lawrence’s nerves giving them creative choreography and repeating the affirmation that Lawrence can and will get it. Though Tayce did admit it was less affirmation and potentially more of a threat.

Elimination Day arrived with Bimini and Lawrence bonding while painting their faces, talking about how difficult it was to survive throughout the pandemic. Bimini shared that she felt very insecure, knowing her career could fall over so quickly and that is something she is still processing. Lawrence shared that she is a stress eater and being stuck at home made the entire situation kind of snowball on top of her. A’Whora and Tayce were chatting about feeling like this is the first week again, not wanting to go home and to show that they’ve used the last seven months to apply the judges’ feedback.

MNEK joined Ru, Michelle and Graham on the mainstage for the RuRuVision finals with the United Kingdolls first up and yes, it was a fake-out edit with Lawrence as the girls absolutely slayed. Lawrence was perky and hilarious, A’Whora was all sex, Bimini served demented Spice Girl in the absolute best way and well Tayce was kinda, sorta the Beyonce, no? Well, until Bimini did the splits off a stool. Bananadrama had a tough act to follow but arrived full of energy, Joe was a camp delight, Sister Sister was a star, Ellie was a slutty schoolgirl and Tia was her usual wacky, delight.

On the A Day at the Seaside runway, Bimini was a glamourous, polished delight in sea blue. Tayce was stunning in nets and shells, A’Whora gave us a literally saucy bag of chips, in the best way possible while Lawrence was a glamorous buoy. Meanwhile Ellie was the sexiest seagull I’ve ever seen, no doubt flooding Plucka Duck’s basement. Tia was a sexy soft-serve, upping the runway game from the last look of filming while Sister was also a bag of chips, this time with a seagull going in for the kills. The winner of the runway however was Joe, a windswept mess covered in ice cream or bird shit.

Ultimately the United Kingdolls took out victory, handing all four queens a RuPeter badge and leaving the other group onstage to receive their critiques. The judges felt Ellie’s performance was a little bit flat, however they felt that her runway proved that she is willing to go all out and that they ultimately lived for her. Tia’s lyrics received universal praise for her lyrics and performance, though was read for still not knowing how to dress her body. This led to Ru reading her for filth and encouraging her to actually apply the critiques. Sister was praised for pushing herself in the performance, though they felt her bag of chips was the weaker of the two. Joe was read for not really being part of the group in the performance, despite it being hilarious. And then the judges lived for her runway. Though they hated on her outfit in the performance, leading to Ru going on an epic rant against the queens wearing off the rack. To quote her, “fuck H&M.” And I live.

Backstage the United Kingdolls were thrilled by their victory, congratulating each other on a job well done. Particularly A’Whora who they labelled the best bag of chips, leading to A’Whora flipping out about Sister actually copying the look in the break. The bottom queens arrived and turned the focus to Ru’s tantrum, with Joe and Tia sharing how they were read for absolute filth. Tayce quickly threw it back to the battle of the chips, leading to an epic blow up between the queens with Sister particularly hurt that her creativity was under attack.

The queens returned to the mainstage, with Ru apologising for going in on the girls and reminding them that now, more than ever, they need to seize their moment and be the stars that they are. Plus, she is still working through cabin fever. Ellie was the first to be sent to safety from her group, with Sister soon following, leaving Tia and Joe to lip sync for their life. And damn, did they redeem Don’t Leave Me This Way after Mimi’s murder, Joe perfectly leaning into her spookiness while Tia showed skin, served flips and straight up refused to be sent out of the competition after just returning, pumping that performance with all the passion she could muster, unsuccessful flips be damned.

As such, that left poor Joe Black to once again exit the competition as the first boot of another filming block.

Despite technically becoming the Francesca Hogi of Drag Race UK, Joe is an absolute icon and like Kelly Mantle and Vivacious before her, sometimes an icon just isn’t meant for a competition. Particularly if their idea of staying young is rocking some H&FuckingM. Once again, I pulled her in for a hug and reiterated how much I loved her, this time explaining that another rapid exit is both hilarious and memorable and as such, I was willing to dish out a fresh dish of Chorizjoe Blacroquettes.

Spicy, carby and oh so comforting, these are the perfect way to dull the pain of some repetitive eliminations. Plus, the world remains on fire so all we have left are easy, comforting meals to keep us afloat.

Enjoy!

Chorizjoe Blacroquettes
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
2 chorizo sausages, roughly diced
100g butter
⅔ cup flour, plus extra for dredging
1 ½ cups milk
small handful parsley, roughly chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 eggs, lightly whisked
2 ¼ cups breadcrumbs
vegetable oil, to deep-fry

Method
Fry the chorizo in a medium-high pan until nice and crisp. Drain on a plate lined with paper towel and allow to cool slightly.

Place the butter in a saucepan over medium heat and melt until foamy before whisking in the flour and cooking for a couple of minutes. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk before returning to the heat and cooking for a couple of minutes or until thickened. Fold through the chorizo, parsley, garlic and chilli, and season well with pepper. Transfer to a container and allow to cool before covering and popping in the fridge for a few hours to firm up.

When you’re ready to rock, pop the extra flour in a bowl, the egg in another and you guessed it, the breadcrumbs in a third. Using wet hands, grab 2 tablespoons of the mixture and roll into a small, fat sausage. Roll in the flour, followed by the egg and finally in the breadcrumbs before transferring to a lined baking sheet. Repeat the process until the mixture is all gone.

To cook, place about 10cm of oil in a large saucepan and once hot, fry the croquettes for a couple of minutes each side or until golden and cooked through. Repeat the process until done. Then, devouring greedily.


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Ginny Lemon Tart

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK, the queens were split into duos and while everyone was thrilled to work with their bestie, Ru gagged them with the fact they would actually be forced to battle against them. In the ultimate who wore it best. While some people lucked out to be partnered with weaker fashion queens, Tayce and Ellie were unluckily in the bottom five due to how strong A’Whora and Lawrence were, as the latter took out her first challenge of the season. Ginny meanwhile took up the judges’ challenge to go sexy, while Tia bombed and Asttina was read for being basic. As the latter two lip synced for their lives, Tia pulled out all the stops and saved herself, booting Asttina from the competition.

The queens returned to the Werk Room with the girls still shell shocked by Asttina’s departure from the competition. Particularly A’Whora, who was mainly concerned that she was eliminated by none other than her nemesis Baroness Basic. Meanwhile Tia was hoping to use the moment to remind herself that she is a sickening performer, given she survived against such formidable competition. Ginny grew tired of Lawrence Chaney constantly talking and interjecting in their support of Asttina, telling her to shut up and leading to some awkward fighting. Add to that A’Whora joking about being ready to wash Tia’s message off the mirror and ugh, the girls are ready to fight. Not necessarily in the competitive way.

Tensions appeared to have died down the next day as Ginny led the queens in congratulating Lawrence on her first victory. Tayce spoke about being shocked that Tia survived over her bestie Asttina, leading to more drama, as Veronica stepped in to defend her friend, reminding everyone that Tia did step it up. In the lip sync, which is why she is still here. A’Whora then interjected, encouraging Tia and saying that she has noticed growth since the start of the competition but given Tia doesn’t really care for her opinion, it was clear it meant nothing.

Is this some COVID related stress coming through? Because it. Is. Tense. SO tense.

They were thankfully interrupted by Ru and the Brit Crew, who wheeled in a table full of cakes. And baked goods too, which the queens needed to promote as their own goodies. Tia kicked things off listing acronyms and lusting after Ru, crawling across the floor selling sex. Ellie was awkward in the most charming way possible, Bimini was hilariously aggressive about Brexit, Ginny was a smutty delight, Tayce fingered herself with a Vienna Finger, Sister did Carrie, Veronica was demented, on brand and glorious, A’Whora focused on Ginny Lemon and Lawrence, well, she was charming, funny and focused on scat. Rightly so though, Bimini took out victory proving sometimes, smut isn’t always best.

Ru then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the queens would be hosting their own morning shows appealing to the broadest range of demographics possible. As the victor of the mini challenge, Bimini would be able to select her role while the rest of the queens would fight over the scraps. Oh and to make it all the more difficult, the performance would be live. The queens ventured to the couch to go through the roles, with Bimini electing for the Gen Z party animal co-host opposite Tayce, Ginny was cast as the hippy weather girl, Lawrence and Ellie went with pre-school hosts, A’Whora and Tia decided to work together for once as the Essex girl financial experts, leaving Veronica and Sister to land as goth party planners.

Talk turned to their backgrounds in improv, with Sister concerned about Veronica’s decided lack of experience. Meanwhile A’Whora and Tia vowed to be besties while picking out wigs as Bimini and Tayce immediately tried to find complementary outfits. Ru arrived to chat to the girls, with Ginny feeling very confident about the weather role and urgh, I hope she wins and proves us right. Ru was worried about Sister and Veronica’s ability to sell goth, with the latter explaining she deliberately took the dregs of the roles to show her versatility and damn, please don’t fall flat, Veronica. Ellie made Ru awkward by asking why she doesn’t say her name in a Scottish accent like she does Lawrence and girl, you in danger Pearl. Ru was charmed by Tia and A’Whora’s concept before casually stirring the pot, with the girls admitting to not being close or having the desire to ever interact. 

The girls ventured to set to be coached by TV legend Lorraine Kelly. Wait, no, there was a pep talk and then girls were sent live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 …

Bimini and Tayce got things off to a charming, vapid and energetic start as the hosts, with Lorraine particularly proud of Bimini’s attention to detail and her ability to serve lots of funny moments. After the break Veronica and Sister were less prepared making their anti-birthday cake, with Veronica tragically showing her first sign of weakness as Sister tried to bring the funny and cover the fact they were both scared. In that commercial break Lorraine had nothing to say, while poor Veronica immediately commenced beating herself up.

We returned to the hosts who continued to charm before Ellie and Lawrence arrived and ate it up as the Dragony Aunts. Caller Michelle asked how to avoid resting bitch face, with Ellie literally painting a smile on Lawrence’s charming bloody face. No doubt on their way to the win. Tia and A’Whora were up next, hilarious as the most demented branches of Cheryl Hole’s family tree and proving that A’Whora really is there for that crown and ready to prove she is funny as well as gorgeous. Rounding out the show was Ginny who was demented and hilarious as she was pummeled by the weather, even if it was a wee bit confusing for Lorraine and the girls.

Elimination Day rolled around with Sister nervous about being brought down by Veronica’s performance, while the rest of the queens were really happy with what they delivered. A’Whora and Tia were shocked to have slayed together as a duo, while Veronica jumped on board and agreed that she felt like her performance was so bad that it brought down Sister’s performance. This annoyed Lawrence, who was sick of Sister blaming other people every time she fell flat. Before any drama could explode, Ginny reminded them they have a runway to prepare for and as such, they needed to align their chakras and get to bloody work.

She and Sister then kikied while getting ready, with Sister Sister sharing that she always feels like she is holding back and trying to be polite, rather than letting go. Add to that her inner saboteur and she admitted that she is really struggling under the pressure of the competition. Ginny gave her a delightful peptalk and told her to start believing in herself before they hugged and pledged their love for each other. Meanwhile A’Whora and Tia continued to bond over their insecurities, with the former sharing that what goes through her head is always worse than anything she could hear from the judges. A’Whora then admitted to trashing Tia in the last untucked, apologising for what she said before sharing that she has always pushed others away and put people down due to her insecurities and ugh, their bonding session is so sweet and nice with Tia promising that A’Whora has a circle of sisters now. They then both apologised for everything they’ve done and said, hugging and making up.

Again, I love all of the UK queens so damn much.

On the Monster Mash-up runway, Veronica was somehow glamourous as a piggy Medusa, Sister Sister was glorious as a mummy werewolf, Bimini slayed as a demonic Playboy bunny, Tayce was a gorgeous corpse bride vampire while Ginny was a neon, acid delight. Lawrence was a mash-up of horror movie murderers in the best way possible, while Ellie was glorious as a Goblin-Werewolf, Tia was gorgeous as a voodoo Medusa and A’Whora continued to slay the week as a zombie-Elvira doing Cher on vegas. Damn, let’s just say it was a good episode for A’Whora.

Ultimately Veronica, Sister Sister, Bimini, Ginny, Lawrence and A’Whora were deemed the tops and bottoms, while Tayce, Ellie and Tia were sent to kiki backstage. My sweet Veronica was praised for her glorious runway, however was read for absolute filth for her Camden Goth Party Planner as she didn’t go far enough. Veronica agreed that she was in her head, apologising for bringing down Sister. Speaking of Sister, she was read for not standing out and trying to take her moment, though the judges were ok with her outfit though admitted it could have gone further. My dear Bimini received universal praise for her performance and commitment to the character, while Michelle wished that the details were in her runway to take her over the edge.

Ginny was praised for being good at improv, though the judges felt it didn’t go far enough and gave no light and shade. Ru challenged her to take it to the next level, which is something that Michelle thanked her for doing on the runway, despite still feeling she could take it further. The judges once again loved literally everything Lawrence gave them, particularly the fact she is versatile and they never know what to expect from her on the runway. Lastly A’Whora was rightly given universal praise for her killer performance on the morning show and once again the judges loved her outfit, though Michelle wished that she could let herself be uglier.

Backstage the safe queens were thrilled to be such, with Ellie asking who they all felt did the worst with she and Tayce naming Veronica and suggesting she should be the one to go out. As did Tia, after much deliberation about admitting that about her bestie. The tops and bottoms joined them with A’Whora disappointed that her outfit fell flat before Ginny broke down about being called one-note, feeling the judges just don’t get her as she started to just shut down. Sister Sister spoke about how disappointed she was to not actually step up in the challenge when she really needed to, with Veronica encouraging her and saying that the critique was mainly about letting Veronica overpower the scene.

Talk turned to who the safe girls thought should go, with Ellie admitting they unanimously thought it should be Veronica. This obviously upset Veronica, with Tia quickly clarifying that she thought she would be in the bottom but knew she would slay a lip sync. This led to Veronica warning them that they underestimated her once and they really shouldn’t do it again. A’Whora tried to give her a pep talk, pointing out Tia was underestimated and used that to kill the lip sync. Which only upset Veronica more, telling them she knows what to do and is going to serve it, thank you very much.

The queens returned to the runway with Bimini and A’Whora sent to safety, handing Lawrence her second victory of the competition. Ru then gagged Veronica by sending her to safety, leaving besties Sister and Ginny to battle it out in the lip sync to You Keep Me Hanging On by Kim Wilde. Or so we thought. As Ginny promised to be punk, smirking as the song started, walked to the back of the stage and chuckled as they quit the competition. As Sister Sister slayed, serving the lip sync as she desperately tries to keep herself from getting eliminated. Completely unaware that that had already happened. But let’s be honest, it was great to finally see her have her break-out moment, as I love her.

As the judges and Ru laughed away, they saved Sister Sister from elimination while backstage Ginny was laughing it up at refusing to face off against their friend and going out on their own terms. Given Gin was positively feeling their oats, I quickly pulled them in for my final pre-COVID cuddle and congratulated them on showcasing how wonderful a performer they are. While the rest of the girls were hearing the siren announcing that they too would be heading home to wait out the pandemic, Gin and I laughed it up as we smashed a Ginny Lemon Tart in honour of a short yet memorable run.

This glorious little number is a classy take on the lemon tart. The herby notes of the gin perfectly cut through the tart of the citrus and sweetness, giving you a delightfully gossy dessert that feels just a little bit posher than usual.

Enjoy!

Ginny Lemon Tart
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
260g salted butter, at room temperature
450g raw caster sugar
8 eggs
500g flour
60ml gin
2 lemons, zested and juiced

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Combine the butter with 200g of the sugar in a stand mixer and cream on high speed until just together. Add two of the eggs, and mix again until just combined. Reduce to low and slowly add in the flour and mix until it just comes together. Transfer to a floured service and lightly work into a ball.

Roll the pastry until a few millimetres and press into a large perforated tart tin. Pop the tin on a baking sheet and transfer to the freezer to chill for five minutes or so. Once the dough has firmed up a bit, prick the base of the shell with a fork and then pop in the oven and cook for 15 minutes, or until gloriously golden. Remove from the oven and leave to chill on a wire rack while you get to work on the custard.

Pop the remaining sugar and egg in a saucepan with the gin, zest and juice, and stir until well combined. Place over low heat and stir constantly, cook until it reaches 75C. Strain through some cheesecloth into a jug and remove any bubbles from the top. Gently pour the mixture into the cooled shell and return to the oven to cook for ten minutes, or until the centre of the tart is still jiggling. Remove from the oven and allow to cool for about half an hour before transferring to the fridge to set.

And once it is set, devour. In a punk fashion.


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Astdinner Mandrollas

Baking, Bread, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens sang for their lives in Rats! the Rusical. As is becoming tradition, Ginny was bonkers, while week one’s victor Asttina was flat, Tia was hilarious and Veronica emerged as a star. Cherry’s nerves got the better of her while Lawrence was able to power through her’s. Ultimately Veronica took out a very, very well deserved win – that runway, swoon – before Cherry and Tayce battled in the most unexpected lip sync to Memory. And oh God, did they serve emotion. While they both had me covered in goosebumps, one of them had to go as Cherry exited the competition.

The queens ventured backstage, praising Cherry and the emotion of the lip sync, which was so emotive Tayce vowed to never lip sync again. And to not go anywhere. Sister and A’Whora got the group talking on the overwhelming emotions of the day, with A’Whora softening and talking about how you never know what someone else is struggling with and how it is starting to throw her. Tia meanwhile was just thrilled to be whittling down the girls and making it one step further. Finally the queens praised Veronica on slaying the challenge, with her admitting that she is glad she spoke up because if she didn’t, she may have been the one going home. Meanwhile Ellie shared that she now has her eyes on Veronica and vowed to take her out.

We then got a montage of Ellie, Lawrence and Tayce talking about how this will be their week, begging the question, are they our top or bottom three tonight?

The queens returned to the Werk Room the next day, congratulating themselves on making the top ten before they were quickly interrupted by Ru for this week’s mini challenge to go as low as possible. In a quick drag carnivale, limbo battle to the sounds of Jodie Harsh. Soooo, there was not much actual limbo going on, particularly for Ginny who just walked right under it. But then Ru started to lower the bar and while Lawrence was hilarious, Ellie showed full bush, Tia was demented and Bimini looked like a showgirl, Asttina could actually limbo. Until she couldn’t, handing joint victory to Tayce and Veronica.

Despite normally being granted some sort of power, everyone was a winner in the end as Ru told the queens to pair up with their best judy for the next Maxi Challenge. Sister Sister and Ginny Lemon got together, Veronica went with Tia, Tayce and A’Whora continued their blossoming romance, Asttina and Bimini aligned while the Scots, Lawrence and Ellie, banded together. They then learnt that they would be competing against their partner, to design the best outfit out of matching coloured boxes. Oh and then we learnt that Veronica and Tayce did win an advantage, that being the power to divide the colours amongst the queens. Against Michelle’s preference, Veronica snatched green, Tayce gave herself and A’Whora black, Veronica gave pink to Ginny and Sister while Tayce gave blue to Asttina and Bimini, leaving gold for Lawrence and Ellie.

The duos disappeared to de-drag and prepare, with A’Whora very confident in her skills, given she went to the leading design school in the country. Sister too was feeling confident, given she has fun with her sewing machine. Her partner Ginny however wasn’t as thrilled, given her skills go as far making a pillowcase. As everyone delved into their boxes, the were delighted to discover a bunch of sequinseses, sparkles, pleathers and TBH, this is a very fair challenge. Sister was semi-erect at the thought of going against Coco Chanel’s advice and throwing everything at her outfit until it looks presentable. Ellie meanwhile was worried about how she would narrow down what fabric to use while Lawrence hoped to snag a win by leaning on her costume making experience, since she has been doing it since she was a wee lass of ten.

Tia meanwhile acknowledged that she is that queen that doesn’t know how to sew, while Veronica was quickly sketching up another glorious gown. Tayce too was on struggle street as A’Whora continued to go against her delightful villain instincts, giving her a pep talk and some advice on how to test out her designs.

Ru made his return to chat to the queens, with Ginny and Sister both committing to stick with their brands while Ru tried to get Ginny to step out of her comfort zone and serve sexy. Which she vowed to do, for Ru. Bimini and Asttina on the flipside were planning to serve body, with the latter going anime school girl realness. While Bimini was planning to go as a well dressed stripper. Minus balloons, as Ru advised. Lawrence and Ellie meanwhile were super confident, before talk turned to how little girls are paid in Scotland and the sexual tension between A’Whora and Tayce. So, tackling all the important issues really. Veronica continued to be super happy and confident, while Tia continued to be confident in the fact nobody expects her to look good and as such, can only impress. Despite having zero sewing skills. Finally Ru dropped by the burgeoning lovers, with A’Whora going full fashion while Tayce was sticking to her jacket gown. And questioned whether Lawrence would know sexual tension if it punched her in the face.

After Ru dropped the bomb that there would only be tops and bottoms this week, Veronica started to spiral about potentially sending her bestie home. With Tia telling her to get over it and do what she does best because they will always be friends. And gah, I love them. Not fearing going home, however, was Asttina who was very confident in her anime look and was swanning about the Werk Room and given they keep showing it, I am worried for her safety tonight.

We returned to Sister and Ginny chatting about how happy they are with their box before Ginny opened up about her drag character’s penchant for yellow, given it is the non-binary colour. They then had a beautiful conversation about Ginny’s journey to knowing and loving herself, and ugh, I wish Ginny saw what everyone else sees in her. Bimini dropped by to make sure she was ok, bonding over their experience of being non-binary, allowing Ginny to share more about their difficult upbringing and Bimini giving her a much needed pep talk and a big old bom-boulash-hug.

As everyone else continued to work on their outfits, to varying levels of success, Tayce made a sleeve. Until she realised she hadn’t, given there were no openings. Thankfully A’Whora continued her Miss Congeniality campaign and stepped in to save the day. Veronica meanwhile was powering ahead before getting distracted by Tia who completely scrapped her plans and decided to start again with a completely new concept. Which is a bit eeeek for my liking.

Elimination Day rolled around with Asttina still feeling super confident, given some of the other girls’ looks were a total mess. She then decided her look was pretty perfect and as such, was just going to stop there while Bimini suggested that maybe she should embellish it. Sister Sister meanwhile was helping Ginny sex it up with some padding as A’Whora shared that she was overwhelmed by the pressure given she was blacklisted from the design industry because she is a drag queen. Tayce on the flipside was living for her pinned together garment, given she found a loophole to the challenge.

Oh and Tia, well, um, she is just ready to lip sync as she knows it is coming.

On the mainstage, Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by the gorgeous Jourdan Dunn before the duos got to work. Tayce completely sold her architectural Malificent number but proved no match for A’Whora’s head to toe puffy delight. Ginny was hilariously glam as a suburban sexpot while Sister slayed in a tonal ruched number. Veronica was well put together though got lucky to be facing off against Tia, who looked far better than she gave herself credit for. Asttina looked good, albeit very basic while Bimini was stunning in a full fashion moment, serving a tonne of arse. Ellie was glorious in gold while Lawrence stunned in a dramatic gown.

Ultimately A’Whora, Sister Sister, Veronica, Bimini and Lawrence were the winners of each duo, though I’d argue Ellie easily could have won. Which is exactly what her partner did, claiming her first victory of the season. And a glorious RuPeter badge. With that the tops left – a sentence I always hate writing – leaving the bottoms to be critiqued, with the judges praising Tayce for looking stunning and essentially said, she is only here because someone from each pair had to be.They lived for Ginny’s sexpot persona and her ability to put herself into the look, despite the details kind of lacking. Ginny then shared that she struggles with all the compliments she is receiving in the competition, given she has always been made to feel worthless and urgh, I just want to hug her.

Tia meanwhile got to work charming the judges, knowing that is the only way she can save herself. Michelle praised her for having a perfectly beat face before Ru and Jourdan suggested she should be a model, leading to her breaking down about not feeling beautiful like Tayce. Asttina was read for being basic and mixing her influences, with the judges unsure what the point of her outfit is. She too started to break down after Ru suggested she is better than that outfit, sharing that she joined the competition to challenge herself and she hates letting them down. And Ellie? Well the judges thought she was stunning and only landed here because some had to.

Backstage the winners praised Lawrence on her first victory, while Lawrence admitted that she was shocked to win against someone as talented as A’Whora. A’Whora then started to get down on herself, with Veronica suggesting that she could have won if she didn’t focus on pulling together Tayce’s look for her too. Veronica continued to be shady, asking who they think will land in the bottom with the queens all agreeing Tia. And A’Whora going one step further and full-blown willing her out of the competition, given she is bored of her and is sick of sickening people leaving over her.

This irked Veronica who yelled at her for being mean about Tia and saying that she is sickening and deserves to be here. Right on cue, the bottoms arrived with Tia in tears over continuing to get in her own way in the competition. She then shared that she feels like people are just waiting for her to go home. Bimini encouraged her to keep going and get out of her head before talk turned to Ginny’s sexy look, which some girls loved and Tayce hated. Asttina was disappointed to have missed the mark, though vowed to turn it out if she lands in the bottom two. Filling Tia with even more fear.

The queens returned to the mainstage with Tayce and Ellie quickly joining the tops in safety before Ginny was saved by her willingness to take a risk but stay on brand (and deliver some design, in the design challenge). Leaving Asttina to put her money where her mouth is with a terrified Tia to Dua Lipa’s Don’t Start Now. And oh girl, did they fight. Asttina literally kicked things off, flipping around the stage and selling the song while Tia lent into her comedy skills, having the judges in stitches from start to finish. They then finished with a bit of a duet and ugh, I don’t want either of them to go. But sadly someone has to, as Ru gagged everyone, saving Tia and sending Asttina from the competition as she praised Tia on slaying the performance as the queens and Jourdan all sobbed.

Backstage Asttina was well and truly heartbroken to have been eliminated from the competition, though was grateful she at least had a moment to shine in week one. Controversial jackets be damned. With that we laughed and hugged each other – something we’d soon be questioning as the pandemic started to spread – as we toasted her success the only way I know how. By filling my gob with pillowy buns, in the form of some Astdinner Mandrollas.

Dinner rolls are arguably the only reason to venture to a large scale event or a buffet. Soft, fluffy bread covered in a delicately golden crust, these baby rolls are the perfect size for tricking your brain into the fact you’ve eaten less than you have. While also acting as a perfect butter receptacle.

Enjoy!

Astdinner Mandrollas

Serves: 2 dear, zaddy friends.

Ingredients
1 cup milk, warmed to about 42C.
7g dried yeast
2 tbsp raw caster sugar, divided
1 large egg
60g unsalted butter, cut into cubes and left to soften at room temp
1 tsp kosher salt
400g bread flour

Method
To prepare the dough, whisk the milk, yeast and half the sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and leave to get frothy for about five minutes. Using the dough hook attachment, mix in the remaining sugar, egg, butter, salt and half the flour by hand. Pop the hook into the mixer and beat on medium until it comes together in a ball. If it is too wet, add more flour ¼ of a cup at a time until you have a soft, easy to manage dough. Not too sticky, not too dry and well, I know you can find the right balance for you.

Once the consistency is right, need for a further couple of minutes before transferring to a lightly oiled bowl, cover with cling and leave to prove for a couple of hours, or until doubled in size.

Punch back the dough and divide into 16 portions. Shape into dinner rolls formation and pop on a lined baking sheet, leaving plenty of room for additional rising. Once done, cover with cling and leave for said rise for a further hour.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Once proved, pop the rolls in the oven to bake for about 20 minutes, or until lightly golden and puffed. Then serve still warmed, slathered in glorious butter.


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White Chocolate & Raspberry Natalie Anderscone

Baking, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Natalie won the final immunity challenge and chose to take Michele to final tribal council with her, forcing Tony and Sarah to battle for the final slot. And while Tony was feeling far from confident, the Survivor Gods had his back as his rope burnt through first and secured his place in the final three. The next day the final three were all proud for making it to the end for different reasons – redemption, to avenge Reem and to cement a legacy – final tribal council didn’t reward them all equally with the icon of the season, Michele, completely shut out of the vote and finishing in third.

But in my outrage, I’ve gotten ahead of myself. Yul kicked things off at the final tribal council by congratulating the trio for getting to the end in such different ways, imploring them to fill in the gaps for everyone. Denise meanwhile asked everyone to talk through their missteps, with Natalie’s weakness was focusing on her strength, rather than making relationships on day one. Michele spoke about building a lot of great one on one alliances, rather than ever building a large controlling alliance. Oh and the fact everyone knew she previously dated Wendell. Tony spoke about learning from his previous season where he wasn’t vulnerable and as such, didn’t have any missteps this time. Nick questioned how he felt bonds don’t burn people, with Tony sharing he only turned on Nick because he tried to turn on Tony first. Meanwhile Tony tried to appeal to Jeremy and their bonding over families, which Natalie called bullshit, leading to Ben trying to defend Tony’s game. Because, Ben.

Adam came in for Natalie, asking her to talk about how she used the Edge of Extinction to her benefit. She admitted that she lied to everyone, calling herself an outcast to try and throw them off. Rob called her out for isolating herself from her fellow pre-mergers, which led to Natalie explaining that she found a lot of advantages and needed to keep them secret to protect herself, which made her withdraw. Parvati praised her for always being honest (to her), before asking Tony to explain how he protected himself despite burning so many people. He then spoke about the evolution of the spy locations, having the jury in hysterics and yeah, this game is done. Congratulations Tony! Wendell turned the attention to Michele, asking her to talk through how she made it to the end despite always being on the bottom before Ben sweetly congratulated her on winning her first season.

Wendell kicked off the Outplay portion asking Natalie to talk through her litany of advantages, where she explained to the jury how she sold Sandra, Jeremy and Sarah their advantages before selling Tony and Nick their disadvantages. Oh and then she dominated the log and coconut challenges, too. She then explained that by putting so many advantages into the game, she felt like she was still a part of it and influenced who made it to the end. Ben directed the conversation to winning challenges, with Tony and Michele talking about their pride in winning six immunities between them. Though Michele pointed out that only surviving another day isn’t all immunity gives you, it gives you the chance to find more cracks.

Rob asked Natalie why she didn’t step in to face off with Tony in the fire challenge, with her explaining that she only wanted to dismantle the Tony-Sarah alliance and not stepping in guaranteed that outcome for her. Ethan asked Tony and Michele to explain how they feel about the Edge of Extinction, with Tony once again having the jury laughing it up about his heartbreak over being extorted. Meanwhile Michele highlighted her bonds and how everyone willed her tokens and sent her advantages, saying they gave her the hope to keep going.

We closed things out with the outlast portion where Natalie spoke about how she only made it to the end by adapting and fought off the Chris Underwood sized target to get to the end. Meanwhile Michele spoke about questioning her last win, given she went to so few tribal councils, contrasting that with this season where she broke the record for surviving the most. Add to that the fact she received so many tokens and advantages, and won challenges, that she was ultimately proud of the game she played. Tony however focused on the fact that he adapted from his previous seasons, talking about needing to lay low during the day and instead did his sly moves at night. He then pointed out that he never received a vote this season and played hard knowing how big this season is and hoped that everyone was proud of his game for such a momentous season.

Danni and Amber congratulated the final three on the game they played, the path they took and how hard they fought in tribal council before Rob led the jury in a standing ovation for them, while Michele’s eyes welled up with some well-earned pride. With that the jury finally voted, Probst lied and said he’d see everyone in L.A. to read the votes before popping up on videoconference while everyone was isolated across America. Or in the case of the final three, all conveniently in New Jersey. With that Probst told them to bring in their families that were isolating with them before getting down to reading the votes from his garage. The first vote was for Tony, followed by two for Natalie and another for Tony. Nat snagged a third, as did Tony, followed by Natalie and then Tony’s fourth … before the rest piled up on Tony and handed him the win.

I quietly popped up behind Natalie and congratulated her on following in Chris’ footsteps and playing such a strong game following her return. Unlike Chris, however, she absolutely dominated – or Reem-ed –  the Edge of Extinction too, and hearing her talk about the influence she managed to have over the game, I can’t help but agree with crowning her runner-up. No matter how strongly I feel about Michele’s game. Plus, she is funny and charming as hell, so more than deserved the second place prize but a full batch of White Chocolate & Raspberry Natalie Anderscones to celebrate.

Do I even need to talk these up? Scones are delicious, white chocolate is delicious and so are raspberries. Throw them all together and you’ve got the makings of a victorious snack. Or, if you eat them in one sitting, full meal.

Enjoy!

White Chocolate & Raspberry Natalie Anderscone
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 ½ cups flour
½ tsp salt
¼ cup raw caster sugar
2 ½ tsp baking powder
90g cold unsalted butter, diced
¾ cup double cream, plus more to serve
2 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla extract
150g raspberries
¾ cup white chocolate chips

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a baking sheet.

Combine the flour, salt, sugar and baking powder in a bowl, before massaging the butter through until it resembles wet sand. 

Whisk the cream, eggs and vanilla together in a second bowl, before folding though the dry ingredients until the batter just comes together. Then fold through the white chocolate and raspberries.

Transfer the dough to a floured bench and form into eight equal portions, before placing them on the lined baking sheet, allowing room for them to puff up. Transfer to the oven and cook for about 20 minutes, or until lightly golden before devouring, like a queen.


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Picnick Wilson

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Michele had well and truly hit her limit for chaos, wanting everyone to give the audience what they want. Aka a battle of the best, not telephone and lies. While their ally Ben was hyper-focused on getting rid of Jeremy, however Tony and Sarah knew they needed to keep him around as a shield. And to guarantee the other side can’t get the numbers. Sarah expertly planted the idea in Ben’s head to go for Nick, and what do you know, Ben thought getting rid of Nick was the best idea. Sadly for them, however, Nick then took out immunity – and my heart, now that he is officially island hot – before the tribe returned to chaos. And after Michele played her 50/50 coin for herself, found it wasn’t needed, as the tribe banded together to get rid of Jeremy instead.

The tribe returned to camp with Michele excited that she actually won her immunity, though heartbroken to have lost Jeremy. Meanwhile Tony and Ben caught up by the well, with the latter thrilled to have survived, while the former was thrilled to have solidified his control over the tribe. Oh and then he called Michele a goat and despite normally wanting to take those to the end, he reminded us that you can’t do that in a season like this. Clearly he hasn’t seen firey Michele though, who tore Nick a new arsehole by the shore, agreeing that they could never beat Jeremy, but keeping him was the only way either of them had a path to the end. And now he has completely ruined their shot at winning. While Nick tried to defend himself, Michele continued to explain that there is no way they are getting to the end anymore. Though she did remind us that when her back is against the wall, she plays strong and hot damn, she did deserve her first win.

Yes, first win. Because she deserves another.

The next day she learnt to hide her rage and instead spoke about how everyone is playing scared, except her and since she has nothing to lose, she is going to fuck shit up. She and Sarah chatted while doing some arts and crafts, sassing her about nobody strategising because she is the next to go. Sarah tried to deny it, but Michele continued and said that targeting her was stupid for anyone wanting to win given Tony is in control and anyone going to the jury will tell them that. While Sarah said that isn’t the case, Michele reminded her that perception is everything in this game and it doesn’t matter what she thinks, only the jury. Queen, icon, legend.

Meanwhile we checked in with the Edge of Extinction where Jeremy was shocked by how little food they get each day before Yul discovered a clue by the flag. He returned to camp and read it aloud, with everyone disappearing in every direction to find whatever advantage it was leading to. Thankfully Natalie put her 30 days on Extinction to use, quickly finding it and returning to camp while Wendell disappeared up the hill. Natalie’s fan club rallied around her as she sat down to share her advantage with them. Turns out it was another disadvantage, this time in the upcoming immunity challenge with her able to sell it for however much she likes and the purchaser is able to use it against someone else.

Back at camp we discover that she offered the disadvantage to Nick, who had proudly hoarded six fire tokens. He learnt that not only is it for a disadvantage, it was also a secret one and nobody would know it was him. Sadly, Natalie priced it at 8 fire tokens meaning he needed to partner with someone. As such, he approached Michele to try and repair their relationship after the Jeremy vote. She gladly offered to give him the tokens but only after they agreed to play it against Ben, hoping to make him paranoid enough to blow up his game.

Well we learnt that at the challenge, before, it was all in abstract terms.

Speaking of the challenge, it required them to stack dominoes on a beam atop a trip obstacle and knock them over so they hit a gong at the other end. And sadly for Ben, he had a 30% longer beam with 30% more block. Oh and today was the final day to earn and spend fire tokens. Ben wasn’t shocked, given he has never received a fire token or advantage and clearly has no friends and shucks, I almost feel bad for him. Everyone was out of the gate quickly, while Ben made early mistakes, desperate to overcome his disadvantage. Michele, Sarah and Tony started to pull ahead, while Denise and Nick opted for a slow and steady approach. Poor Michele dropped one of her blocks, giving Tony and Sarah the break they needed. Which sadly didn’t play out, as Sarah knocked a block off and Tony slowed down, allowing Michele to make up the ground and quickly snatch immunity.

Much to everyone’s dismay, given the tribe were of the mind that anyone should win except her.

Back at camp the tribe half-heartedly congratulated Michele, before Denise decided to play the Angelina card and offered to buy a bag of rice for everyone, if they made some rice today so that she would be well fed ahead of the comeback challenge. Only she wasn’t sure of her imminent departure, instead, it was all a ploy to make Nick and Michele feel safe, so that she could stick with the cops and the coc … I mean Ben, to get rid of Nick. Barring any surprises. Ben too was keen to get rid of Nick, so jumped on the plan and approached Nick and Michele to assure them that he wants to get rid of Denise, given she is the Queen Slayer. Nick was feeling very confident that his plan had come together, so sat with Tony and Michele to chat about how difficult beating Ben in the fire challenge will be and as such, now would be a good time to blindside him.

Which Tony agreed with. As such, he decided to reopen the Spy Nest and see whether he could get some intel to decide which way to go. And oh was it worth it, as he overheard Denise laying out a plan to Sarah and Ben to join them in the final three, and cut Tony’s throat at four instead. With that, Tony approached Michele and Nick to work up a legitimate plan to get rid of Denise instead. Tony pulled Sarah aside given he didn’t want to make a move without her, with her agreeing that getting rid of Denise is important to their game. Though Nick has a strong underdog narrative and as such, he is just as big of a threat.

At tribal council Michele continued to gloat about her immunity win, given everyone hates her and thinks she is worthless. She then started to tell jokes and endear herself to the jury and damn, she has game! Sarah said that that fire is what pushed Michele to win the challenge, while Ben sadly lamented getting a disadvantage and worried where it came from. Nick spoke about the battle between voting people out and who you need to keep, Sarah spoke about fiscal responsibility with her coins, Michele said the coins have given her hope, given she is clearly beloved by the jury despite not always being on the right side of the numbers. Ben admitted to being nervous about the unknown new member of the final six, who will return the next day, Tony said that person doesn’t matter and instead it is their bonds that will keep them safe while Denise continued to pretend to be dejected about obviously going out of the game.

Meanwhile on the jury, Adam suggested that it was a fakeout which Sophie and Kim shut down like he is an annoying child. And I live.

With that the tribe voted and despite once again thinking the status quo was about to be flipped, Tony and Sarah’s alliance stood firm and sent Nick from the game. I ruffled my hair and casually positioned myself on the side of the boat that would take Nick to the Edge, before again, casually, running up to him and pulling him in for a long hug. I held his biceps as I told him that he should be proud of the game he played, as despite being the newest winner on the cast, wasn’t as fixated on getting rid of the old schoolers. Which I love. As much as his nipples and wrapping my lips around a thick, fat Picnick Wilson.

Chocolate bar, guys – relax. Like my copycat Snickers before it, this is honestly God-tier. So sweet, so rich just like what we’re copying. But better, because it is fresh and a little bit bigger.

Enjoy!

Picnick Wilson
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
¾ cup raw caster sugar
½ cup liquid glucose
¼ cup water
1 egg white, at room temperature
generous pinch of salt
½ cup natural crunchy peanut butter
60g butter
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
395g condensed milk
1 cup salted peanuts, roughly chopped
1 batch Lena Wafers
800g milk chocolate
½ cup rice bubbles

Method
This one starts the same as the snickers, so start by lining a 20x30cm baking pan with some baking paper.

Combine the caster sugar, glucose and water in a small pan over high heat and stir until the sugar has dissolved. While you bring the syrup to the boil, whisk the egg white in a stand mixer until stiff peaks form. When the sugar reaches 135°C, remove from the boil and slowly add to the eggs with the whisk still on high. Continue whisking until the nougat comes together and pulls away from the sides of the bowl.

Remove from the mixer and fold through the peanut butter with an oiled spatula, emphasis on oiled, until it is thick, combined and spongy. Turn into the lined baking pan, spreading mixture evenly, and leave to rest while you make the caramel.

Combine the butter, muscovado sugar and condensed milk in a clean saucepan and stir over medium heat until the butter has melted and the sugar dissolved. Bring to the boil and cook until it is thick and has started to turn a caramel colour. Remove from the heat and fold through the half of the peanuts before spreading over the setting nougat. Cover with the Lena Wafers, cutting so they fit together snuggly. Cover and place in the fridge to set for a couple of hours.

When you’re ready to assemble, line a baking sheet with paper and cut the nougat and caramel into chocolate bar sized bars. Melt the chocolate in the microwave – 30s on high, followed by 10s intervals until done – and leave to cool for a couple of minutes, before folding through the peanuts and rice bubbles. Dip the bars into the crispy chocolate and place them on the lined baking sheet. Once done, brush the remaining chocolate over the bars to completely enclose them, bulking up on the top. Transfer to the fridge for a few hours to set, before devouring Clueless style. Aka drawing as much attention to your mouth as possible.


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Chicken Struendell Holland

Main, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor after Sandra arrived at the Edge of Extinction, she realised that there was no way she was going to be winning any challenges to re-enter and nor did she want to needlessly suffer, so she raised the sail and went home. Meanwhile in the main game, Sele continued to be an absolute mess yet somehow only lost the immunity challenge by a matter of seconds. Michele should have been the obvious target as the only OG Sele, but given Wendell was being super shady and making everyone feel uncomfortable and Yul is smart as hell and the only Old Schooler, it came down to them. And while Michele and Nick both seemed to be keen to work with Yul, the fact that he was a legitimate threat compared to Wendell was too much, as they sadly booted him from the game.

We checked in with everyone at the Edge of Extinction where Danni explained that they had all received menus with how to spend fire tokens ahead of the upcoming return challenge. Now that it was real, she was starting to visualise getting back into the game and hot damn, I would live for that. Natalie used her wealth to purchase a single advantage in the challenge and an idol, which Rob copied after Amber handed off her own token, which honestly makes me a little sad. Though a fired up Rob going into the challenge is something I always love. Each of the inhabitants separated to prepare for their battle and honestly, I’m so annoyed that Parvati and Yul have no chance to purchase anything because they lasted the longest and didn’t have a chance to earn any.

While the old schoolers got on a boat, the active players met Probst by the shore where they learnt that Sophie is now the player from the oldest season in the game. Not getting time to dwell on that, or the loss of her closest ally, Probst told them all to drop their buffs before announcing that one more person will be joining them in the newly merged tribe. In walked Natalie, Amber, Danni, Ethan, Tyson, Rob, Parvati and Yul, shocking everyone in the game when they realised that the Queen had quit the Edge of Extinction like the total icon that she is. How great would this group have been as the merged tribe, though?!

Natalie explained how painful it was to be on the Edge by herself, before Tyson shared that he hides behind his humour a lot of the time and how he struggled on the Edge debating what was best for his two daughters at home. Rob said that despite being on the Edge with his wife, it wasn’t a romantic feeling as it was desolate and awful. Coupled with the fact that he felt responsible for the old school players getting targeted from the start, he was hating it and ready to fight to get back. Because that is how the old schoolers do it.

To get back in, Probst explained, they would need to race through a series of obstacles, complete a jailbreak and then maneuver a ball up an upright snake and into its mouth. First to finish, returning to the game. He then explained that Natalie, Danni, Ethan, Tyson and Rob had purchased advantages in the challenge, and as such, would not need to dig up a rope. Tyson got out to an early lead with Rob, Ethan, Danni, Parvati and Natalie hot on their heels. Given Parvati never earned any Fire Tokens, she, Amber and Yul were stuck digging for their rope, giving everyone else a huge lead. Eventually they managed to get the string, while Rob was far out in front making his first attempt at the jailbreak. Which he was successful at. Natalie and Tyson were next through, followed by the advantage-less Yul and Parvati – icons – Danni and Ethan, while Amber was stuck at the jail. Everyone tried to learn the maze, with Natalie making it halfway up before dropping, giving Tyson the lead while Yul and Rob were close behind. And holy shit was it close, as Yul dropped and Tyson landed his ball seconds before Rob.

As everyone applauded his mammoth efforts, his fellow Edge inhabitants encouraged him to crush the competition before being sent back to the Edge of Extinction as the first seven members of the jury.

The merged tribe arrived at the former Sele beach where Tony was heartbroken to learn that the Fire Token menu had changed, with prices going up leaving him too poor to buy anything. Not even a measly stick of gum. Thankfully, they found their bountiful feast and honestly, I think he forgot about his lack of wealth pretty damn quickly. Everyone caught up and congratulated Tyson on his victory, before Sarah shared how proud she was to have made the merge once again though was nervous to go the Cagayan route again, given the alliances are all jumbled. 

Not to dwell on it, however, she decided to find out what happened to her ally Sandra, with Denise explaining that Sandra had taken pity on her being on the bottom and offered to sell her an idol for two Fire Tokens, unaware that Denise already had one. As such, Denise played Sandra’s idol on herself and hers on Jeremy, sending Sandra from the game with one lousy vote. As everyone congratulated her on a big move, Sophie likened it to a war story while Tony started calling her the Queen slayer, expertly growing the target on Denise’s back. Adam was shocked to have made the merge without any of the old schoolers, with everyone assuring Tyson that it wasn’t deliberate. While Tyson speculated that maybe the new kids have just changed the game to the point that he can’t keep up, before laughing it off, assuring us that he will find cracks and make his way to the end. 

The tribe returned to camp, delighted to see how epic Wendell had made it for them, complete with coconut vending machine, swing sets and bench seating. Speaking of Wendell, he was feeling solid with Michele and Nick, though was looking to foster more relationships to take control. He set his sights on Jeremy, chatting about how they could bring everyone together with Jeremy confident he could at very least bring in Denise. Though Jeremy was concerned about Nick being Wendell’s number one, and as such, he wanted to get rid of him to guarantee his bond with Wendell.

Meanwhile Tyson was catching up with Ben, explaining that early in the game he had tried to push for a threats alliance to keep all the strong players together. And as soon as they decided against it, Rob, Sandra and Parvati went out back-to-back-to-back. Feeling like a big threat – lol – Ben liked the idea of working with shields and as such, was super keen to align with Tyson, along with Jeremy and Tony. And given they are already outnumbered, they need to make a move and take control before people notice. Ben approached Tony, with him quickly agreeing given he knew that people like Wendell, Nick, Adam and Michele are strong players however have the lowest profiles and as such, aren’t on anyone’s radar.

The tribe sat around in the rain, with everyone miserable except for Adam who reminded us that his season was evacuated for a day due to a cyclone and that this was nothing by comparison. Clearly forgetting that David vs. Goliath was also evacuated for a worse cyclone, but whatever, we barely hear from Nick these days. We did hear from the icon Kim though, who isn’t being classed as a target for some reason, who just laughed about how miserable everyone is.

Probst arrived for the first individual immunity challenge – the Parvati special, where everyone has to hold on to a large pole – with the last person of each gender holding on, snatching immunity. And a Fire Token. Despite crying through the cold before the challenge, Sophie looked strong while Adam kept telling us how scared he was of the challenge as he slid down. Ultimately Michele was the first person out, dropping violently from the challenge. While Tyson, Sarah and Tony all struggled, Adam was the next to drop before awkwardly trying to help Michele to the loser bench. Tyson – a former winner of the challenge – was the next out, followed by Tony and Wendell. Sophie was the next to go, leaving Denise and Kim to battle it out, as they both started to slide down the poles before Kim dropped, handing Denise immunity. Ben followed the women out of the challenge, leaving Jeremy and Nick to battle it out as Jeremy scowled at Nick, and he gave a sweet angelic smile. Ultimately though, Nick dropped handing Jeremy the other immunity necklace and token.

Back at camp Jeremy was keen to get rid of Nick, though hoping to stay out of the spotlight as it happened. Tony and Ben caught up with him, as the trio agreed that they needed to break up Nick and Wendell. Sadly for Jeremy though, he flubbed it, saying that keeping Wendell would be good for his, no THEIR game, as such they should get rid of Nick. While they agreed that Nick was super sketchy and just loiters around and approaches all conversations, Ben was beginning to think that it wasn’t the best idea. Nick approached Jeremy, Wendell and Michele to suggest they get rid of Adam instead, while the former Yara tribe floated the idea of getting rid of Nick, before Queen Sophie suggested they just get rid of Wendell instead, given she can’t work with him moving forward.

Despite wanting to keep a low profile, Sophie realised that Jeremy was trying to dictate the vote and take power and as such, started to work hard with Sarah and Tony to push the vote on to Wendell. Ben took this information back to Jeremy who was pissed to be outplayed, and as such, was open to jumping on an Adam vote instead. With that Jeremy went from alliance to alliance to float getting rid of Adam instead, with everyone open to it, given it was an easy vote. Michele pointed out that Denise may be the only concern if they get rid of Adam, so Jeremy approached her with her assuring him that she is cool to get rid of Adam, given he is a liability. Sophie and Adam caught up, with Sophie assuring him that she is pushing hard to get rid of Wendell or Nick and as such, she will be blindsided if he goes instead. And damn, Adam was crying at the prospect of going home, which is so relatable.

At tribal council Tyson spoke about how desperate he was not to return to the Edge and as such, he was keeping his mouth shut. Sophie acknowledged that he has less baggage than most people in the game because he was voted out, and as such, he is an easier person to work with. Tony reiterated that sentiment, pointing out that most of the reasons that got Tyson voted out are sitting on the jury and as such, it doesn’t make sense to get rid of him at this stage. Denise was thrilled to have immunity for such a pivotal vote, knowing that she will still be here after everyone finds out where alliances lay. Wendell downplayed how pivotal the vote is, though agreed it is a tricky one to navigate. Adam spoke about how quickly some conversations had gone and as such, that made him feel nervous. Nick agreed that he loves to double check, though he had to find the balance of looking solid rather than paranoid.

Sophie proved why she is so damn good at this game, countering that on the flipside, she likes to give herself the freedom not to be included in every conversation as it proves to her allies that she trusts them and also helps her relax about an already stressful game. Sarah said that it takes a while for a name to gain traction this season and as such, everyone voted out was likely to be sniped rather than seeing it coming. Jeremy agreed that they’re all playing cagey, while Adam was frustrated that people don’t want to talk. Tony said that he would rather go with the flow this season and keep as many people happy as possible and oh my god, he is going to avenge the targets and win, isn’t he?

With that the tribe voted and thankfully Sophie was not blindsided – Adam I could take and leave though, despite a killer voting confessional – as her machinations came to fruition and Wendell was blindsided from the game and became the first person to play in the 30s to go to the Edge of Extinction. While Wendell was playing a harsher game, he still took his boot in stride and was super kind when I pulled him aside on his way out the door. Though I would be kind if someone handed me a piping hot Chicken Struendell Holland too.

Creamy, rich and oh so soothing, this is everything that Wendell isn’t to Michele post-break-up. Slash competing without Dom, TBH.

Enjoy!

Chicken Struendell Holland
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
1 leek, trimmed, washed and sliced
1 carrot, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
600g chicken breasts, cut into a 1cm dice
4 button mushrooms, trimmed and sliced
2 tbsp flour
300ml cream
salt and pepper, to taste
36 sheets filo pastry
80g butter, melted

Method
Pop the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, leek, carrot and garlic for a few minutes, or until the carrot starts to soften. Add the chicken and cook, stirring, for a few more minutes, or until nice and brown. Add the button mushrooms and cook for a further minute before stirring in the flour and cooking for another minute. Then stir in the cream, bring to the boil and reduce to low until the gravy has thickened. Season to taste and leave to cool.

When the filling is cool, preheat the oven to 200C and line a baking sheet.

Pop two pieces of filo on the bench, brush with butter and add another piece of filo, alternating until you’ve got six sheets of pastry. Pop a sixth of the filling in the centre of one of the short ends, and roll to enclose. Fold in each side before rolling until the end of the sheets, sealing with some extra better. Transfer to the lined baking sheet and repeat the process until done, brushing the finished strudels with some butter to finish.

Transfer the strudels into the oven and bake for 20-30 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Leave to rest for five minutes before serving alongside your fave veggies. And devouring.


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Buffaloana Chicken Hopizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Main, Pizza, Poultry, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, 24 All Star players returned to the game with Lydia out for revenge, Henry lived to be messy, Brooke was a challenge beast and David claimed a suite of idols. Amongst the chaos Queen Shane followed Tina Wesson’s first-to-worst trajectory (despite almost avoiding it), followed by Jericho, Daisy – in a brutal blindside from Dave – Michelle and Henry before Shonee kicked off an epic revenge arc by eliminating Lydia, Abbey and John back-to-back-to-back. They were followed by Mat, Phoebe and Flick before Nick tragically missed the jury.

Locky ultimately became the first to go post-merge, followed by Harry and the tragic exit of Lee. Zach, Jacqui, Shonee and AK soon followed before Brooke’s immunity run forced the dominant majority alliance to turn on each other to boot Tarzan. Which was tragically followed by Brooke losing immunity and heading to the jury as one of our icon fourth placed robbed-goddesses, leaving Moana, Dave and Sharn to battle it out for victory.

The final three awoke on Day 49, with Dave shocked to still be in the game despite entering All Stars with a huge target from his previous season. Though thankfully, he learnt from his previous mistakes and this time forged strong bonds to keep him in the game. He then praised Moana and Sharn for being such strong competitors, though reminded himself that he is not there to make friends and he is playing to reunite his family and move back to Australia. And yeah, there is no way he is losing right?

Wait, no – we do get to hear from the other two. Sharn spoke about how important it is to win final immunity and to get to choose your opponent. While she only made it to the end with the help of her allies, the alliance would break tonight and as such, she needs to make sure she has control. Rightly, she congratulated herself on making it to the final three twice in a row and as such, she more than anyone, knows the pain of losing and as such, she isn’t going to suffer through that again. We finally checked in with Moana, who shared that she came into All Stars to pick up where she left off, after having to exit the game because she was sick. She highlighted that she played a stealth, strategic game and has never been in any real danger because she has been across literally everything that happened in camp. Which again, is true.

The final three arrived on a very windy cliff where they met Jonathan who explained that they would each stand on small pedestals with one hand holding an idol on a post and the other pulling a ring, pulling them in the other direction with the last one standing taking out immunity. As is tradition, Jonathan then wheeled out everyone’s families to distract them and make their heart break before physically destroying them. Sharn’s kids all still look exactly like their father, though hopefully the kids didn’t get his personality. But I can’t even be mean because her oldest son was super sweet about her and now I am crying. Then Jonathan wheeled out Moana’s wife of 53 days and her sister Vinnie and hot damn, I’m sobbing. Vinnie is life, Mo’s wife is hot – it is perfect. Oh and then Vinnie hugged Dave as Isabella’s crying made her sad and damn, I forgive the final three for making the merge boring. Can Vinnie be a write-in winner? I mean, Edge of Extinction is a thing, so anything goes now. Oh and then Dave’s wife and daughter arrived and see, he isn’t an arrogant jerk, he is delightful and such a kind family man. Also, can we circle back to the fact Moana’s wife is straight up beautiful? As beautiful as Dave’s sons calling him to wish him luck.

After drying their tears and hugging their families, the final three climbed up to their craggy perches while their poor families sat on a cliff and quietly wished that the challenge would be as short as possible. Well except for Vinnie and the younger kids who disappeared and honestly, Vinnie better be getting good money to babysit those kids because she is precious and needs to be protected at all costs. Anyway, as Australian Survivor is wise enough to stick with endurance challenges for final immunity, they aren’t the most exciting to recap. That being said, Jonathan said ‘It’s All Stars Baby’ in Caitlyn Jenner’s voice and honestly, I live. Moana started to struggle early in the challenge, but she showed so much personality in her interactions with her wife and now I am rooting for her.

Sharn spoke about it being more difficult than her OG final immunity challenge, while David spoke about how much he wants it and as such, while it is painful, he won’t back down. After more than an hour, out of nowhere Moana slipped off the pegs and literally fell out of the challenge, panicking everyone and leading to her wife heroically coming to rescue her and honestly, I ship them so hard. Left alone in the challenge for a further hour, David decided to try and make a deal with Sharn, suggesting that no matter what, they’re going to the end because they both want to face off against the best in the final tribal council. Sharn agreed how much of an honour it would be to go to the end with him, however neither seemed to be willing to back down. A torrential downpour then rolled in for dramatic effect and while David looked to be struggling, it was Sharn that collapsed out of nowhere, handing David immunity. And more likely, the title of Sole Survivor.

At tribal council David spoke about how amazing it was to see all of their families and compete in the final immunity challenge, though was saddened to be bringing an end to one of his closest allies’ games. Moana highlighted how close she and Dave have been from the start which immediately led to Sharn cutting her off and talking about how she was just as close with Dave. She then pointed out that she isn’t really loyal to her bestie Moana by saying that she and Dave agreed that they wanted to go to the end together during the immunity challenge. Obviously because this is All Stars and they need to have the best facing off. Moana laughed at the thought and pointed out that they all made deals with each other and as such, that deal means nothing. She then pointed out that she has played a strong game and more importantly, she doesn’t address a jury for a living. 

Sharn laughed about her previous final tribal – lol – before smartly pointing out that the duo had played similar games, while her game and David’s are clearly distinguishable and as such, the jury can easily pick a winner. Oh and then Moana got sassy and honestly, where was she all season – she said that Sharn had her shot in front of the jury and now it is time she has hers. Oh and if Dave thinks she is an easy beat, take her to the end and prove it. With that David voted and tragically Moana was sent from the game as the final juror, not because she was the weaker opponent, but because she was the stronger one.

As soon as I saw Moana enter the Jury Villa, I ran to her to give her a massive hug and to praise her for playing such a dominant game alongside David. Yes, yes, I spent a lot of time complaining about how boring their alliance made the show, but that doesn’t take away from their stellar, controlling games. That being said, David had something working in his favour that Moana tragically didn’t and that was the fact I planned to make Moana a pizza. Yes, the Fame Hungry Survivor Pizza curse strikes again and it is my fault Mo lost the prize and instead had to settle for a Buffaloana Chicken Hopizza.

Like burgers, buffalo chicken is one of those things I am very passionate about shoe-horning into other culinary forms. From burgers to meatballs, buffalo chicken just works in so many forms and despite being the curse that ended Mo’s game, there is no denying this is perfection. And maybe a little worth it.

Enjoy! 

Buffaloana Chicken Hopizza
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup hot sauce
2 tbsp butter
3 cups shredded roast chicken (or Chooke)
salt and pepper, to taste
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup passata
handful of fresh Italian herbs, roughly chopped
1-2 cups mozzarella cheese, grated
2-4 celery stalks, thinly sliced
1-2 carrots, thinly sliced
⅔ cup blue cheese, crumbled
Michelle Branch Dressing, to serve

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions.

When they’re almost finished proving, combine the hot sauce and butter in a saucepan and melt over low heat until combined. Remove from the heat and fold through the chicken. Season to taste, probably more pepper than salt, in my opinion.

Preheat the oven to 180°C.

To assemble, smear the bases with passata and herbs. Top with the mozzarella, carrot and celery, followed by the spicy chicken and blue cheese. Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Devouring immediately with a good lashing of ranch dressing in honour of my menu choices ended my favourite potential winner (of the final three).


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Marknana “Tarte Tarzan” Herlaar

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, soon-to-be two-time runner-up Sharn and her allies Moana, Tarzan and David were still, sadly, controlling the game. This left A.K. and Brooke on the outs with essentially no options. After Brooke secured yet another immunity win, she essentially sealed poor A.K.’s fate. As such, he searched high and low for an idol and when Moana refused to stop tailing him, he decided to literally empty out the entire water well like a damn icon. At tribal council, Jonathan unveiled yet another twist where the person that felt likely to be voted out was able to raise their hand for a chance to battle with fire instead of reading the votes. As such, A.K. raised his hand while he and Brooke forced everyone to agree to making Moana his challenger. Sadly for them, Moana dominated, sending A.K. from the game and leaving Brooke all on her lonesome.

The next day Sharn was boring the hell out of everyone, discussing how to do her hair and giddily dancing around to celebrate making it to the final five again. Mainly shocked that nobody had even attempted to take her out, and as such, now she could turn her attention to figuring out who to face off against in the end. She then creepily stumbled upon David doing a weird breathing exercise, interrupting his meditation and floating the idea of going to the end together. You know, because it is All Stars and it would be an All Star move to face off against an All Star player in the All Star final tribal council. And lol, remember when I was heartbroken by the thought of Sharn losing twice? Now it is the only thing keeping me going through the corona-crisis.

But seriously.

They rejoined the rest of the tribe to celebrate making it as far as they have, with Sharn staring lovingly at David before Tarzan praised himself for being viewed as one of the greatest players ever. Again, lol. He then told a boring story about the beginning of each of his alliances which honestly were ‘we spoke to each other’, ‘I love David’ and ‘Sharn knows things’. Either this is bland filler before Brooke exits, or I am depressed. Probably both. Speaking of Brooke, Tarzan gently reminded us of the importance of Brooke losing immunity which is the only thing actually keeping the audience going at this point. To try and guarantee he isn’t the one that goes should Brooke win immunity, he went fishing with David and honestly wooing him is a foregone conclusion, so why not try and align with someone else.

That being said, I ship them and hope they strip off again. I mean, Tarzan cried tears of joy thinking about being alone with Dave on Day 50. Which, swoon.

Back all alone at camp, Brooke was clearly on the outs and knew that bonding with these people is a total waste of time, so instead she focused on clearing her mind and making sure she is ready to immunity her way to the end. For herself, for Vakama and most importantly, for the people trying to find a COVID-19 vaccine.

We jumped forward to Day 46 where Brooke had decided forging bonds could be helpful and as such approached Moana and Sharn to charm them. And when Sharn disappeared, Brooke floated the idea of the two of them sticking together and facing off in the final two. And knowing that Brooke has no other options, Moana saw the value in keeping her around to guarantee that she makes it to the end by surrounding her with people that want to face off against her at the end.

Waking us up from the padding, my love Dr Jonathan arrived to cure us of boredom with the immunity challenge. Sadly even the challenge feels like it’s been done multiple times this season, with each castaway solving a word puzzle on a shelf attached to a trip hazard. Most importantly, they have to spell Australian Survivor: All Stars. Did you know that this is AlL St@Rs?! Thankfully Brooke quickly got out to an early lead and literally beasted through the entire thing, never once dropping and secured immunity in a blink and you’ll miss it victory like Queen Shonee before her. I mean, those two are the poster children for yoga and pilates, right?

Back at camp Brooke was rightfully giddy to have won immunity and more importantly, thrilled to see Shonee’s reaction to it at tribal council. Well, maybe not more importantly, given she is about to Shi Ann the shit out of the boring alliance. And like Shi Ann, she wanted to go straight for the top and target Dave (because Shi Ann rightly knew Amber was in charge). While Brooke basked in her victorious glow, the alliance hung around, scared to throw out a name, while David shared with us how grateful he was to have an idol in his hot, hot hands.

The group realised that they needed to split up to actually make a difference, so they dropped Tarzan off on Brooke with the trio agreeing that he needs to go if they want to have any chance of beating Brooke at the next immunity challenge. This of course made Dave upset – something about wanting Tarzan deep in his endgame – but he was too nervous to rock the vote. Tarzan opted to go idol hunting before Sharn returned to praising everyone for being so good at the game, before her paranoia got to her and she realised that piling the votes on Tarzan risks her getting voted out should Dave play the idol. As such, Sharn suggested to Moana that they pull Brooke in and get her to join them and vote for Dave, hoping to flush the idol and get rid of the Golden God in one move. And obviously she was keen. Hella keen. Wanting to keep things interesting, Tarzan pulled Dave aside and rightly pointed out that should he go tonight, that the girls will gun for him next. Which made David nervous enough to consider the plan Sharn feared coming to fruition, playing his idol for Tarzan and getting rid of Sharn ‘never coming second again’ Coombes.

Again, lol.

At tribal council the jury were delighted to see Brooke was once again rocking the immunity necklace, which sadly only makes her more of a target. Brooke spoke about her pride at winning before talk turned to the fact that the alliance, finally, is crumbling. Sharn said it was something they always had to consider, Tarzan mentioned he hoped to have done enough while David shared that they had to be naive if they didn’t consider Brooke beasting to the end. Tarzan spoke about being really tight with two people in his alliance, leading to Sharn feeling nervous about being the last person to join the alliance. David tried to downplay their closeness, pointing out that loyalty is more important and at this point, they need to think about the next two votes as well.

David spoke about his own nerves, knowing that Brooke is targeting him and tried to rally troops against him. Brooke agreed that, duh, she wants him out before subtly pleading with Sharn and Moana to see sense and join her. To counter that David spoke about the importance of keeping him around to beat Brooke in a challenge, before countering himself by talking about her lack of strategy outside of winning challenges. With that the tribe voted, David hobbled like an old man to play his last idol for himself, which was burned as Tarzan exited the game. Hugging and praising everyone like the sweet man that he is.

While Tarzan was part of the dominant alliance that oft makes a season a tad boring, that doesn’t take away from the fact he is arguably the sweetest man to ever play the game. I mean, from laying down his game from Tessa the first go around to now, he has continually should kindness and warmth and just seems like the best guy. As such, I didn’t yell at him for not turning on Sh-oana and instead gave him a triumphant Marknana “Tarte Tarzan” Herlaar.

As sweet as its namesake, this phallic twist on the classic tarte tatin is near perfection. The mushy banana and sticky sweetness of caramel are always two of the best friends. Add a melt in your mouth pastry and well, you’re in heaven.

Enjoy!

Marknana “Tarte Tarzan” Herlaar
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 sheets puff pastry, rolled together to form a slightly thicker, larger square
180g raw caster sugar
50ml water
25g unsalted butter
4 bananas, sliced lengthways
heavy cream, for serving

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C. 

Combine the sugar and water in a heavy-based frying pan over medium heat until the sugar has completely dissolved. Simmer for 5 minutes or until a light caramel colour. Add the butter and stir until melted.

Pour the caramel into a tarte tatin dish and top with the bananas, sliced side down. Top with the pastry and fold or roll the edges in to form a rustic circle. Making sure you keep the pastry seals in the banana and caramel.

Pop in the oven to bake for 25 minutes, or until the pastry is golden and crisp.

Allow to cool for five minutes before flipping onto a plate and serving immediately, with a gorgeous drizzle of thickened cream. Then devour.


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Rob Mariagnocchi

Main, Pasta, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor the wealth was spread a little bit on the Edge, as they were all offered a fire token for free if they could transport twenty logs from the top of the mountain to camp. Which they did, but not before breaking down emotionally and physically. Parv and Rob continued to grow closer on Sele, and hilariously caused a little chaos for Adam, telling Jeremy and Michele he was out to get them. Thankfully for Parv though, it wasn’t necessary, as Sele finally won another challenge thanks to Nick choking. Over at Dakal, Tyson tried to use Nick bombing the challenge to rally the tribe against him. Sadly though, Sandra couldn’t move past the fact he targeted her, so the rest of the tribe went with the easy vote and sent Tyson to the Edge.

We started things out by checking in on Dakal, where Queen Sandra was holding court and congratulating her underlings on making it a third of the way through. Nick was thrilled to have survived the last tribal and to see his hero Tyson booted instead, given he was causing disharmony. Well he was thrilled about it until he discovered that Tyson had bequeathed his fire token to him and as such, he worried he may have gotten rid of a potential ally. Which is some 4D chess from Tyson, TBH. Speaking of new bonds, Yul and Sarah were hanging out with the former sharing that he is shocked – and thrilled – to find that he likes them all on a personal level. He then shared that the only person he stayed in contact with from his season is the iconic Jonathan Penner. This then led to the heartbreaking reveal that Jonathan’s wife Stacey has been diagnosed with ALS, which has progressed rapidly and left them verging on ruin.

Yul then broke down in tears and oh my God, I couldn’t love him more. Plus, Sarah offering him a hug is the best she has been since the Varner–Zeke scandal.

Before I even had a chance to wipe away my tears Jeffrey joined the tribes on the marooning island to announce the tribe swap. Much to Rob’s chagrin, since it led to his first loss in Marquesas. As everyone revealed their new buffs, Rob found himself starting over again on the new Yara tribe, with Ben, Adam, Sarah and Sophie. Much to Adam’s fear, given his fellow former Sele peeps don’t get along. They were facing off against Dakal, featuring Mum and Dad, Kim, Denise and Jeremy – ripe for Advantageddon 2.0 – and Sele, home to Nick, his crush Parvati, Yul and exes Michele and Wendell.

We returned to Dakal where Jeremy and Denise were shocked by how great their new shelter was, thrilled to be moving on up in the world. Jeremy was also thrilled to discover that Kim was on the outs on her former tribe and as such, his minority position may be no more, given she seems down to flip on Tony and Sandra ASAP. Which is a sentiment she echoed to Denise. Meanwhile Tony and Sandra were talking about the importance of sticking together as two of the biggest targets, agreeing that Kim is a great target and as such, they all need to stick together. Because, and to quote Tony, the lions need to work together so the hyenas don’t win. Oh and then to solidify her new, glorious position, Kim caught an eel the size of an anaconda and just like that she is sitting pretty.

Over at Love Island, aka Sele 2.0, Nick was thrilled to be in the majority of his new tribe and most importantly, living with his high school crush. Meanwhile Wendell was not so thrilled, given the fact that the shelter is absolute dog shit and he is pretty much starting over from scratch. And more importantly, he is stuck with someone he dated or hung with, depending on whose story is to be believed. On the same tribe for the first time in 27 seasons, Parvati and Yul reconnected, with the latter telling Parv that she is his wife’s favourite player of all time. Continuing the love for Parv, Nick pulled her aside and admitted to his crush for her. And between that and the tension between Michele and Wendell, she was laughing it up like she, Cirie, Amanda and Natalie had just convinced Erik to give up immunity.

The former couple caught up and honestly, Michele just showed how much of an icon she is – she gave him a wink and asked if it would be awkward for him, leading to him stammering around his response while she giggled away. She then caught up with Parvati and the two trash talked the boys – ‘New season, who dis?’ – before joking about giving the boys something to drool over and going for a swim. And oh God, can they be the final two?!

Meanwhile over at the newly formed Yara tribe, Ben was annoyed to be stuck with Rob and Adam, the two people he trusted least on Sele as they both actively worked to blow up his game. Sarah on the other hand quickly worked to do damage control with Rob, identifying Tyson as the reason Amber was voted out and assuring him that that was why he was voted out the night before. To defend Amber’s honour. The five went wandering around to explore their new island before talk turned to how in the hell Ethan got voted out. The boys then freely gave up the fact that they don’t really get along and as such, Sarah and Sophie got to work seeing who would be willing to work with them. And after quickly learning that all three were open, they were thrilled to discover they could choose who to form that majority with. Which made Sophie nervous, given surely the boys would figure out their best hope is together, no? 

With that, the tribe split up to hunt for the new tribe’s idol with Rob sharing how difficult hidden immunity idols were for him to grasp. While he found one on Redemption Island, he had clues and as such, wasn’t confident in his abilities to find one without one. While he was echoing Amber’s struggles in the first episode, Sophie snatched the idol and even survived a joking ‘empty your pockets’ from Ben before she learnt that she too had to give up half to someone by sundown. As such she found Sarah, filled her in and handed over the half, hopeful that it would come back to her like how she returned Kim’s half to her. And just like that, the girls had two advantages and a fractured trio to save them from their shitty hand.

Jiffy Pop returned for the first three-way immunity challenge where the tribes would have to race through a series of obstacles, toss their sacks at a rod to knock off blocks and then use said coloured blocks to solve a puzzle. All three tribes were neck and neck through the first obstacles, however by the second, Yara started to pull away with Sele firmly in second while Dakal struggled to climb a ladder. What a fall from grace for ladder king, Tony! Yara made quick work of the blocks, giving them a huge lead on the puzzle while the other teams played for second. Sele were next to knock off their blocks as they closed the gap with Yara. Eventually Dakal joined the tribes in solving the puzzle, just as Sele secured the first immunity. With that Dakal battled with Yara, until Yara took their puzzle apart to start again, giving Jeremy and Sandra time to secure the other immunity for Dakal.

Back at camp Sophie felt nervous, given she blew the challenge for the tribe. She and Sarah were left alone at camp as the boys went for a walk. This left them time to lock in their vote for one of the boys. Just as the boys were all agreeing not to vote for one another. As they locked in their vote for Sarah, Rob suggested that back at camp, they refuse to go for a walk so that the girls have nobody to scramble with. Aka the buddy system, the most boring gameplay to watch. This drove the girls – and Adam – absolutely mental, stewing with rage as the boys hung out together. Wait, no, everyone sat in miserable silence, with Rob seemingly unaware how annoyed people were by his decree. Eventually Sophie and Sarah went for a walk to the well, just to alleviate their boredom and dream about blindsiding Rob, with only winks and nods from the boys as reassurance.

At tribal council Sophie spoke about the differences between her two seasons, thankful that this time there are so many intermixed relationships that there is always hope. Adam praised how good at the game the tribe are, which Ben agreed with, though kind of playing it down as they all simply know not to piss anyone off. Sarah spoke about how little the boys were interacting with her at camp today, which Sophie agreed with before insinuating that it was a decree from whoever was in charge. She then continued to play the situation perfectly, cussing out Jeff for using the term ‘crack’ as she and Sarah aren’t invaders out to destroy something, but two people looking to start an alliance with like minded individuals. Sarah jumped on board to plead with the boys and you could honestly see the moment Rob started to shit his pants, despite trying to look calm.

He tried to appeal to the boys, agreeing that while the boys aren’t close and have all done something to the other, he reminded them that at the end of the day, numbers matter. Ben agreed that it seemed like things were simple with two easy votes before sharing how lazy their afternoon was. Rob again tried to play down the fact he forced them into not talking, before Sophie owned him and pointed out how Rob is doing the exact thing he did in the season that he won and if they don’t do something about it, he will win again. With that the tribe voted and despite having zero time to strategise, Adam and Ben did indeed flip on Rob, joining the girls to send him from the game.

As Rob ventured out of tribal council I pulled him in for a massive hug before biting my tongue failed me, and I cussed him out for treating other winners like the cast of Redemption Island. Because they are all too good to tolerate that. He agreed it was a rookie mistake, but was grateful to be reunited with Amber on the Edge and bide his time until he can return and dominate. And while I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Natalie is the favourite to return as the wealthiest woman in the game, I instead handed him a bowl of Rob Mariagnocchi and wished him all the best.

While this is a super simple recipe, it proves that simple is often best. The rich butter is taken to the edge of nuttiness, while the smooth sage and sharp parmesan come together to create something so delicious it is almost life affirming.

Enjoy!

Rob Mariagnocchi
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 batch of the gnocchi from Gnokylie Evans or 500g pre-made gnocchi
⅓ cup butter
12-18 sage leaves
4 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 lemon, zested and juiced
½ cup parmesan, shaved

Method
Start by prepping your gnocchi per Kylie’s recipe, or cook it per packet instructions.

When the gnocchi is close to done, melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and once it has melted, cook for a couple of minutes, to lightly brown and bring out the nuttiness. Once it is there, add in the sage and cook for a couple of minutes to crisp, before finally tossing through the garlic for a minute to make it nice and fragrant. Add the gnocchi with a good whack of salt and pepper, and toss to combine.

Remove from heat and add in the lemon zest and a few teaspoons of juice, and stir through the parmesan. Then serve immediately and devour.


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Anzach Kozyrskcuits

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor a BBQ reward had everyone fighting hard, slipping and sliding to snatch something to eat. After David, Moana, Zach, Brooke and Sharn dominated the others, they headed off to smash their feast before learning that they also won letters from home. While I thought that would be all the tears I would cry this episode, Lee was pulled away from camp to learn that his mother had suffered a massive stroke. After telling everyone what had happened, the tribe rallied around him as they farewelled him from the game to go be with his family. With his mother tragically passing away before he made it back to Brisbane.

Before we could process what happened, Jonathan returned to our screens for the next immunity challenge where they were required to tread water in the shallows while holding a ball in a shoot above their heads. With the last one standing, or treading more accurately, snatching immunity. Moana quickly dropped out, followed by Zach, Jacqui and AK, all within the first five minutes. Tarzan was next to go while the other four fought hard for over thirty minutes.

Sharn was next to go, quickly followed by Brooke leaving Queen Shonee to face off against David. Knowing that they were screwed should she win immunity, AK pulled Brooke aside and told her not to tell Shonee when she was close to dropping in the hope of saving themselves. Sadly for them, she and David managed to hold on for ninety minutes before David started to struggle. And then dropped his ball after two hours, handing Queen Shonee her second immunity.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Shonee on her victory before she shared that she is so good at swimming because she treads water while chatting with her friends at the pool every day. After throwing some shade at the people that call her weak, she caught up with AK and Brooke to figure out a plan while David, Zach and Tarzan tried to figure out who to get rid of after the tie between Brooke and AK. With them favouring Brooke, given she is the bigger beast in challenges. With that Sharn approached Shonee, Brooke and AK to make sure that they weren’t looking for idols, though admitted that she would be interested to talk. AK suggested that she could pick their target and join them to get rid of that person, sending them home without needing to revote.

Unsure whether Sharn would follow through, AK got to work chatting to Zach and David to find a way to get them to not split the votes between him and Brooke. And instead join them to get rid of Brooke. She, meanwhile, was focused solely on keeping their alliance together. Wait, no, she pulled Shonee aside to see if she would join her in writing down AK’s name and sending him home to avoid a tie.

At tribal council Jonathan caught the jury up on the Lee situation before Moana spoke about how they aren’t simply targeting OG Vakamas, and instead are trying to get rid of threats. And while David tried to echo the sentiment, AK called bullshit and said that he and Brooke are screwed. Brooke admitted to wearing her vote-out outfit – so she looks good getting her torch snuffed – before Shonee went in, telling the majority how funny it is how many different agendas their alliance is managing. Jacqui tried to downplay things, reminding everyone that they are all cogs in a wheel and it only functions when they stick together. AK laughed about how great it will be when they need to turn on each other, before Brooke called out Dave – a physical threat – for targeting her for being a physical threat. She then savaged Dave and told him to lift his game, which was a-maze-ing.

Jonathan then put a spanner in all their works, telling everyone that tonight, the three highest vote getters at tonight’s tribal council would be going to Exile Beach. Joined by three people after the next tribal council, before the six battle in a series of challenges until one person is eliminated. Which is convoluted, however I will forgive it because they had to drag things out another episode after Lee’s family tragedy.

With that the tribe voted and as expected AK and Brooke were sent to exile, while they stuck together with Shonee and the trio selected a frustrated Moana to join them. And when they arrived at Exile, her mood did not improve one bit as she silently put herself to bed as the other two snuggled in together. The next morning the trio awoke to a beautiful sunny day, while Moana was miserable, hiding in the jungle before rallying and encouraging her fellow exiles to make the camp as nice as possible. And then bonding with the duo so that should they all make it back, they are two people that she can have in her back pocket.

Back in the main game the tribe were eating a breakfast of sandy rice, giving Shonee the giggles while the boys grew annoyed at Jacqui. Who I assume, they assume put the sand in it. Despite being down 5-1, Queen Shonee was hopeful that her positive attitude and friendly nature would help her avoid going to exile for the second time. She bonded with Dave, swapping celebrity stories, however he knew her game and didn’t want to give her a further in. As such, he worked on Zach and Tarzan to confirm that they will still send Shonee to Exile before planting the seeds that Zach should sacrifice himself to save the rest of the alliance. And more importantly, Dave.

Jonathan returned for the next immunity challenge where the tribe would hold onto a long pole tethered to a board where they must balance three balls in holes one at a time. And then return to the end of their pole without dropping any. I’d like to say the challenge was exciting, but honestly, it was brutal to watch as everyone dropped their balls over and over again, until Sharn finally snagged victory and put everyone out of their misery.

Back at camp David got to work trying to avoid going to exile, while Sharn tried to figure out who to send to exile with Shonee. With Zach seemingly still keen to be one of them and Tarzan unlikely to win a challenge, so therefore safe, David and Jacqui were the only other options. Poor, sweet Zach – who would have thought – was keen to be part of the A team, as David tried to pretend that Jacqui would be a better member of the team, despite him having a better challenge record. David and Sharn caught up, with Sharn pointing out that David would be a good option to win the challenge with him trying to defend himself by pointing out that he is sick and weakened. Eventually they and Jacqui agreed that Jacqui was the better option and hot damn, why aren’t they targeting him?

Alone at camp with Sharn and Tarzan, Jacqui told them that she doesn’t want to go to Exile and as such, she and Sharn floated the possibility of blindsiding David instead. Sharn then told Tarzan that she has plenty of plans for how to navigate that moving forward and while he agreed nobody wants to face David at the end, why do I think this isn’t going to end well for Sharn? Oh, because Tarzan took said intel straight back to David, that’s why.

At tribal council Sharn spoke about the complexity of deciding how to send half the tribe to exile, versus booting a single person from the game. Jacqui admitted that she was keen to go to Exile for her resume to begin with, however the closer it got to the point of going, she got nervous. On cue David coughed to remind everyone how weak he is, before Zach admitted that he is still happy to go to exile. He then pointed out that Jacqui and Shonee are the best at challenges and as such, they would be the ones to join him. Sharn tried to play tough, reminding everyone that they all have their own votes and people shouldn’t fall in line if they don’t want to.

Shonee then admitted that she is going kicking and screaming and looked forward to spending more time with Jacqui on Exile, given she hasn’t really done anything to avoid it. Jacqui tried to defend herself and pointed out that she has done things to protect herself, leading to David pointing out just how strong she is at challenges. Zach reiterated how excited he was to build his resume, unaware that being voted out twice and sent to exile isn’t the best way to charm the jury. Unless of course, you’re Shonee – who I would gladly look the other way for. 

Sick of all the challenge talk, Jonathan announced that this little twist will work differently than they are expecting, with the exiled group competing in two challenges, with three people earning their way back into the game and joining the other people in the game to vote to boot one of the remaining people on Exile. Shonee tried to use this to point out that all the ex-Vakama people could technically make themselves safe and as such, the Mokutas would be the only people eligible to vote for and as such, sacrificing yourself is pretty stupid. Though Zach, bless, was undeterred. With that, the tribe voted and as expected sent Shonee and Jacqui to exile, with a tie for third between David and Zach. As such, that meant Sharn and Tarzan were required to revote and with her back kind of against the wall, Sharn opted not to rock the boat and sent Zach to Exile.

The exile crew were stirred awake by their new friends, a jubilant Zach included. He then regaled them with tales about how excited he was to volunteer and use going to exile as a way to boost his resume, while AK looked on in concern that someone could be stupid enough to volunteer. I mean, if it was such a great look for the resume, wouldn’t everyone have been pushing for it?

Back at the actual camp, the non-exiled trio were happily lazing about, with Sharn explaining to us that she kept Dave around because she wants to blindside him, not have him exit via a twist. Which sure, sounds great, but I feel like this is revisionist history right there. David was thrilled that he was able to convince Zach to volunteer, before pulling Sharn aside to thank her for protecting him the night before, hoping to make her feel guilty about potentially turning on him. He then suggested to the other two that they need to be careful of the five from exile returning to camp and turning against them, with Jacqui in particular a concern, given she didn’t have a choice in going.

Speaking of Jacqui, she was trying to put on a brave face on Exile while Zach continued to talk about how great their predicament is. This made Jacqui even more furious, annoyed by how stupid Zach is to not see that he is Dave’s puppet and is being groomed as the ultimate goat at final tribal. Thankfully Queen Jacqui was treating this as a wake-up call and she planned to use it to her advantage and turn on the boys as soon as she could. Seeing how enraged Jacqui is, Shonee decided to continue on a charm offensive and endear herself to Jacqui. And use that to flip her to their side. Moana meanwhile was feeling vulnerable, worried about a challenge dictating her fate and as such, was resolved to fight for her family even more.

With that Jonathan returned for the first exile challenge where the first two to make a stick long enough to collect a flint, and then use said flint to build a fire high enough to burn through a rope – deep breath, long sentence, no? – secure their safety and return to the main game. Moana got out to an early lead, thanks in no small part to the constant coaching of David and Sharn. As everyone struggled, Moana got to work on her fire, quickly getting a flame as her coaches cheered from the side. Zach and Brooke battled to release their flints, both anxiously dragging it towards them as Moana’s fire burnt through the rope and secured her safety. She started to break down, overwhelmed by saving herself, as the rest of the group battled it out for second place. Zach was next to get his flint as his allies cheered and coached from the sidelines, much to Jacqui’s chagrin. Brooke quickly joined him after releasing her flint, slowly building a fire while Zach feverishly worked on his, hacking his hands in the process. The duo were neck and neck as their flames built before Brooke’s started licking at the ropes and burnt through just ahead of Zach’s.

Brooke and Moana returned to camp with Sharn, Tarzan and David, talking about how thrilled they are to be back in the game. Well Moana at least, who they all love, while poor Brooke was feeling left out, despite being proud of herself. Meanwhile Zach returned to exile far less jubilant, as he, Jacqui, Shonee and AK lamented their loss. While Zach was confident in his allies saving him no matter what, he knew that winning the challenge is what he needs to build his resume, otherwise offering himself up is a bust. On the flipside, Shonee was still trying to work Jacqui to try and get her to turn on her allies. She and Jacqui caught up and spoke about the last vote, with Shonee telling her that she only voted for her to go to exile because she wanted to spend time with her and hated the thought of hanging with Dave. She then pointed out how her allies were barely cheering her on at the last challenge and as such, they should work together to guarantee their safety even if they lose the challenge.

Speaking of the challenge, Jonathan returned and announced that the final challenge would see each of them holding a weight via a rope and keep it between a coloured zone. With the last person standing returning to the game and the remaining trio becoming the only option for the rest of the tribe. AK and Shonee both struggled early in the challenge while Zach grew cocky, hopping on one leg until his allies told him to pull his head in. As they both continued to struggle, AK suggested he and Shonee drop at the same time, with the icon refusing. While they tried to fight through it, AK couldn’t hold out any longer and became the first person to drop. While Zach and Jacqui stood like statues, Shonee fought with all her might before just dipping out of the coloured zone and eliminating herself from the game. After thirty minutes, chatting about how both trust their allies but won’t give in, the duo started to struggle and in turn, bicker amongst themselves. Well until Zach dropped after 45 minutes, that is, sending Jacqui back to the tribe and filling Shonee’s face with a huge grin.

Back at camp David assured Zach that his alliance has his back and that they would all be joining together to get rid of Shonee. After joining together and outlining that they would force the minority to vote with them to ensure Shonee goes, Jacqui decided to head back to camp for a little more food. As she wandered back, Shonee and Brooke caught up, with Shonee updating her ally on her growing bond with Jacqui and how she believes that if they stick together, they could sway Jacqui to vote Zach as well and send him from the game. With Brooke and AK keen, Shonee caught up with Jacqui with the latter suggesting to turn on Zach before Shonee even floated the idea.

With the foursome locked in, Jacqui wanted to do damage control with Moana before even turning on her. While Moana wasn’t interested in turning on her alliance, she was happy with the idea of getting rid of Zach and freeing up David as a shield for her and Sharn. She filled in Sharn, who agreed that Jacqui’s plan was best for the three of them, but wisely she suggested that she and Moana pretend that they didn’t know about it, making it Jacqui’s move for her resume. And more importantly, keeps David’s wrath solely focused on her only.

At tribal council Zach spoke about trusting in his alliance to keep him safe as payback for protecting them at the last one. Jacqui was proud of herself for earning her safety, while Tarzan agreed that he would be voting to save Zach before David spoke about being across everything that happened on Exile. Tarzan agreed that the alliance didn’t suffer any damage after the twist, before AK hinted that he became aware of some cracks while on exile, though pretended that he got caught out and as such, shut them down. Brooke too acted defeated – shit position, ay – as the majority continued to say the exact same thing in slightly different ways before Shonee played dejected, appealing to Jacqui’s friendship. AK tried to plead with them to make moves before it was too late, while Jacqui pretended that she was happy with the status quo. Shonee and AK pretended that they will be voting for each other before Dave told them that while it sucks, a lot can change in a few days and to hold their head up high, clearly hoping to scoop AK up as an ally for his eventual flip.

With that the tribe voted and David was shocked and frankly, enraged to discover that he had been outplayed as Jacqui became the first one to flip, joining with Brooke, Shonee and AK to send Zach out of the game and over to the jury.

While Zach was embarrassed that his misplaced trust and confidence was his ultimate undoing, I quickly changed the subject and told him to focus on what is truly important. The fact that he got his redemption! I mean, Zach and I were essentially sworn enemies after he trolled me for trolling him during his first season. But showing his genuine, soft side this season, I was reminded of the man I befriended when we both worked on Gladiator. As such, I was thrilled to reward his kind heart and better showing with a batch of Anzach Kozyrskcuits.

Hard or chewy, there is nothing better than an Anzac biscuit. Sweet, earthy and super easy to make, you can tell why these were sent to people in war zones as they have a remarkable way of bringing you even just a moment of unadulterated happiness.

Enjoy!

Anzach Kozyrskcuits
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cups flour, sifted
1 cup rolled oats
½ cup raw caster sugar
¾ cup desiccated coconut
150g unsalted butter, chopped
2 tbsp golden syrup
1 ½ tbsp water
½ tsp bicarbonate of soda

Method
Preheat the oven to 170C. 

Combine the flour, oats, sugar and coconut in a large bowl and stir to combine. Meanwhile place the golden syrup and butter in a saucepan and melt over low heat, stirring sporadically to combine. Remove from the heat.

Mix the water and bicarb together in a cup and add to the golden syrup and butter. Once the bubbling has subsided, add to the dry ingredients and stir until combined.

Roll the mixture into golf-ball sized, balls, and place on lined baking sheets, pressing down the tops to form discs.

Transfer to the oven to bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from the oven and leave to cool for five to ten minutes before devouring at their peak chewiness.


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