Previously on Survivor after everyone flushed their idols at the last tribal council, Tony got up in the middle of the night to start his hunt. Sadly for him, the sun came up before he found it, leading the rest of the tribe to join him, where Natalie continued to Chris her return and snatched the idol out from under him. This spooked Ben, Sarah and Tony who worried she had found it, questioning what it would mean if she or Michele won immunity. The trio got lucky, however, as Tony secured his fourth win, moving the target onto Michele. Thankfully her run wasn’t meant to end there, as Ben told Sarah he wouldn’t mind if she voted him out, knowing it makes it that much easier for her to win the fire challenge and gives her a move that is all her own. And while it wasn’t really a move, given she had permission, she joined the girls and sent him to the jury.
We opened straight up at the final immunity challenge, high on a hill in Fiji, which provided an epic backdrop for an epic challenge where they each had to drop balls into a track at various intervals without dropping one at the other end. You know, the final immunity challenge that kicked off our Survivor coverage ten seasons ago. The one where Wentworth broke down in tears after losing Second Chances. And fun fact thanks to Probst, everyone that won this challenge as final immunity has gone on to win the game. So the stakes were just that little bit higher.
That being said, it isn’t great to recap given there is no telling how anyone is going. The final four all made it to three balls, however it was Tony that was the first to drop not long after. The women all made it to four balls which immediately took out Sarah, leaving the iconic Jersey girls to battle it out for immunity. And likely take the other to the end. Queens. Both made it to a record equaling five balls which proved to make it super tough on them, with Natalie saving herself multiple times before Michele dropped, handing Natalie final immunity after becoming the first boot. And honestly, I am so proud – she got Reem’s redemption!
Back at camp Natalie was thrilled to join the Amanda, Sandra, Parvati, Russel and Rob – and Sharn, I guess – club by making it to the final tribal council twice. Meanwhile the other three all dispersed to practice making fire, with Tony struggling and Michele, the icon, quickly building them. By the shore, Natalie was debating who was the best person to take with her to the end and more importantly, who she wanted to add winning the fire making challenge to their resume. While Michele was nervous, she was hopeful that she could win the challenge and more importantly, could claim a huge scalp in front of the jury just before final tribal. Echoing that sentiment, Sarah was hoping to go to the challenge, knowing how much it could do for her game. Plus, Tony is stuck in his head and as such, it may be an easy win for her.
At tribal council Natalie delighted the jury when they saw her wearing immunity, before she spoke about how dreamlike the scenario was, given it was the only thing that kept her going on Extinction. Michele spoke about how Natalie took time out after the challenge, leaving the other three to practice on fire instead which Michele did. Very successfully. Tony and Sarah were also full of bravado, before Sarah started to tear up talking about how she ultimately wants to face off against her ally and take him out, rather than someone else. Michele too wanted to be the one to take out Tony, which Natalie agreed is a big achievement, however she wasn’t willing to leave it to chance. Ultimately Natalie chose for Michele to be the next to join the double final tribal council club, leaving Cops R Us to battle it out for the final slot. And let’s be honest, it feels like the win.
With that Tony and Sarah sat down at the fire making stations and after some light smacktalk, got to work. Natalie and Michele quietly cheered Sarah on from the sidelines, while they both struggled to get a flame. Tony was the first to get fire, quickly building it with kindling in the hope that it took off. Sarah soon followed with a flame, following his strategy and honestly, it was neck and neck. Both were calm and methodical, as Sarah’s flame started to lick at the ropes, while Tony’s started to die. Sadly Sarah’s soon followed, giving Tony time to build his up and take the lead. And while Sarah tried to get hers back, both the fires were licking at the rope for what felt like an eternity before Tony’s burnt through, sending him to the final tribal and Sarah out of the game.
With the most iconic final placings ever – behind Tina – as the first juror, winner and final juror. Sarah and Tony hugged and cried, praising each other for playing a hard game and staying loyal, as Sarah told Tony to finish what they started out trying to do. As she arrived at Ponderosa, she was kinda shocked that I ran straight into her arms and congratulated her on playing such a killer game. Maybe it had something to do with me trash talking her win, I don’t know? I apologised for not appreciating the dominant way she plays, and admitted I was grateful that this season showed me exactly why she is an icon. And served up a piping hot batch of Sarah Mozzarellacina Sticks to apologise.
It goes without saying that mozzarella sticks are absolutely delicious. Smooth, melty cheese coated in a hot, crunchy shell and served with marinara sauce? The. DREAM.
Enjoy!
Sarah Mozzarellacina Sticks Serves: 2 dear friends.
Ingredients ½ cup flour salt and pepper, to taste 2 eggs 2 ½ cups panko breadcrumbs ½ tsp cayenne pepper 500g block mozzarella, cut into 1.5cm thick sticks vegetable oil, for fryin’ grated parmesan cheese, to serve 1 cup Amber Marinara Sauce, to serve
Method Combine the flour in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Whisk the eggs in a second bowl, and combine the panko and cayenne in a third.
Line a baking sheet before tossing the mozzarella in the seasoned flour. Working one by one, dip them in the egg, before tossing through the spiced breadcrumbs to completely coat. Pop on the baking sheet and repeat the process until done, before transferring to the fridge for 20 minutes to set.
Pour about 2cm worth of oil in a wide frying pan and pop it over medium heat. Once nice and hot, fry the sticks for a couple of minutes, flipping once, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a plate lined with some paper towel and repeat the process until done.
Transfer to a bowl or plate, whatever feels right, sprinkle with parmesan and serve with some Amber Marinara Sauce for dippin’.
Previously on Survivor everyone at the Edge of Extinction packed up their camp and headed off to the final return challenge. Though not before the rich – read, Natalie – purchased advantages in the challenge. Despite Jeffra Bezos literally able to skip three stages of the challenge, the first obstacle held her up and it was quite a tight race before she surged through the course and did what Reem couldn’t, returning to the game as the first boot. Back in the game nobody believed she had an idol, so after Winchele won immunity, everyone set their eyes on her. Sadly, she did play her idol and negated four votes for herself. That led to Tony playing his idol, as did Ben, negating the other two votes in the process. The tribe then re-voted on the only vulnerable people, with Denise finally sent to the jury.
The final five returned to camp with Tony chastising Ben and Sarah for not listening to him and for now making them all vulnerable at the next tribal council. With three idols played at the last tribal council, Tony knew that one more would be hidden for the final time this season and as such, got to work searching the island for it under the cover of darkness. He sadly came up short, meaning that dawn broke and he was joined by everyone, meaning it was anybody’s game. Except it wasn’t, as it was Natalie’s as once again, as she found an idol, giving her and Michele one hell of an advantage going into the next tribal council and hot damn do I ship the shit out of this duo. The girls went back to camp to chill, leaving Ben and Tony to grow worried that one of them found it, realising they would officially be screwed should the other take out immunity.
With that, my love Jeffrey arrived for the final five immunity challenge where they would race through a series of obstacles over the water to find keys before using said keys to unlock two sacks, which they would need to land on a pedestal. Natalie got out to an early lead, with Ben, Sarah and Michele nipping at their heels and Tony at the end. Natalie and Ben were neck and neck getting their sacks, before Sarah and Tony joined them, followed by Michele. Ben was the first to land a sack, followed by Tony leaving the boys to battle it out before Tony finally got his second to stay, securing his fourth immunity of the season.
Back at camp Natalie was still hopeful of breaking up the Ben, Tony and Sarah trio, thinking that maybe Sarah would be open to flipping on them. Meanwhile Tony grew nervous of the vote ahead, so enlisted Sarah to lead the girls to under his spy nest so they could gather intel. She lured Natalie there, but Natalie was smart(ish) and threw out the fact that getting rid of Ben is important to all of their games, given nobody can beat him in fire. The ish part is because she shared the fact she had an idol, giving Tony a crucial piece of information. Despite Sarah agreeing to join them to take out Ben, she went straight back to Tony and suggested that Natalie will only play it for herself and as such, they need to vote out Michele instead.
Meanwhile on the flipside, Natalie took the information back to Michele and while she was hopeful they could woo Sarah, Michele quickly said that she wasn’t flipping and as such, she would next. At the shelter Sarah approached Ben and out of nowhere he told her to put his name down with the girls if needed and boost her resume. But only if she goes out there and wins. Both of them broke down in tears, with Ben just wanting to make friends this time, rather than winning, while Sarah was broken over hurting her friend, though knew she couldn’t win without a move like taking him out. And well, Natalie and Michele were just terrified and unsure how to keep themselves together to the end.
At tribal council Sarah continued to push to be called Lacina, while Probst spoke about how the game of Survivor forces them to get introspective. Sarah spoke about how she never savours the highlights of her experiences and instead focuses on her failures. Ben agreed with the sentiments, talking about how he wanted to play a more social, caring game this time around and go home feeling good about himself. Tony spoke about how different it is playing to watching it on TV, before talk turned to the dwindling numbers. Sarah spoke about surviving the night and putting herself in the best position for the final challenge. Ben spoke about being brave and staying positive while Michele spoke about coming up against a wall for the last week and as such, isn’t leaning too far into her optimistic side.
With that the tribe voted, once again Natalie played her idol however it was pointless, given Sarah had followed through and joined the girls to get rid of Ben. Though with his permission, which kinda takes away from its power. As Ben arrived at Ponderosa I shook his hand and congratulated him on making friends along the way, before handing over a piping hot Ben Driebergenovese Pizza and called it a day.
Did I strategically weaponise the Survivor Pizza Curse to get rid of Ben? Maybe. But given he was all in on making friends this go around, he can’t hold it against me. And given it is delicious, why would he.
Enjoy!
Ben Driebergenovese Pizza Serves: 2-4.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor ½ cup Toni Basil Pesto 2 potatoes, thinly sliced salt and pepper, to taste ¼ cup mozzarella, grated ½ cup parmesan, grated
Method Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.
Smear the bases with pesto, top with the potato, season and sprinkle with mozzarella and parmesan. Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden. Then devour.
Previously on Survivor despite vowing to calmly take his betrayal in her stride, Sarah raged at Tony for booting her other closest ally. Thankfully the two crazy kids were able to patch things up, to the point where when he scaled his newly built spy treehouse, she came to let him know that nobody was planning to come to the well, so he should just return to camp. The Ben and Jeremy feud continued to simmer, with both wanting to take each other out, though after Ben found an idol – and tried to hide it from Tony, who was right next to him when he found it – and Michele gave Jeremy her 50/50 coin, they were both kinda safe. Kim tried to rally the troops against Tony, however after he won immunity, Ben dobbed on her and led to Tony taking her out as revenge.
The tribe returned to camp where Michele was well and truly pissed about the fact that every day descends into utter chaos, despite the fact this was meant to be a battle of the best. While she was thrilled about the outcome of tribal council and still having her bestie Jeremy around, she was frustrated by the fact that everyone now knows about her 50/50 advantage. And not only that, but by the fact she was willing to play it for Jeremy. With it out in the open, she pulled Jeremy aside to talk through the dumpster fire tribal council and try to figure out a way to play the aggressive way that she desperately wants to. And thankfully, the chat led to him handing back the coin and so I guess, that is a positive for our Queen.
The next morning the tribe sat around the fire, no doubt with Ben plotting how to get rid of his nemesis Jeremy. Meanwhile Denise clarified to us that her ‘I’m done’ moment at tribal council was not about being overwhelmed by the game, but instead about being over how it was going and how she was reacting to it. Sadly instead of fashioning a productive plan like her killer Sandra move, she instead put those learnings into planning her first and second tattoos. Which I love, but not as much as I love Denise slaying the game. On the other side of camp, Jeremy and Tony squabbled over whether 9 days in the game counted as one or two weeks left in the game. I shit you not. It was adorable and fun, and Tony was totally doing it to make sure that Jeremy sticks around to keep the target off him.
Tony then approached Sarah to further their bond, chatting about how it has been six years since they first played together. You know, when Tony blindsided Sarah. Thankfully, she had a positive spin on their joint Survivor arcs, reminding him that he won one and she one the other before Tony jumped in to class this as their tie breaker. And oh god, this is actually coming down to a battle between the two of them, isn’t it?! Talk soon turned to the state of the tribe, with them identifying Ben’s simmering hatred for Jeremy as their most pressing issue given they both become sitting ducks if Jeremy goes, as the other three will stick together. And that is bad for their final three which is them and Ben. With that Sarah pulled Ben aside to convince him of the importance of getting rid of Nick instead, so that they can take control of the numbers. Sarah expertly played Ben, making him feel in control of the situation and then, what do you know, Ben had the idea to get rid of Nick next!
My love Jeffrey arrived for the immunity challenge where the castaways were required to race out to an overhead track, toss a ball into it, run through an obstacle course and grab the ball at the other end before it hit the ground. Once cleared, they would have to dig under a log, race to the end and, obvi, solve a cheeky slide puzzle. More importantly, Nick is definitely looking island hot, and I live. Jeremy got out to an early lead while baby zaddy Nick was a close second, looking like an angel in his boxers. Jeremy was first to the slide puzzle, with Ben, Sarah and Tony all overtaking Nick, which thankfully gave him a solo shot of climbing to the table, shimmering and sexy covered in sand. Oh and more importantly – I know, how is that possible – Michele just couldn’t catch her ball and it was amazing. Eventually Denise joined them at the puzzle but it was all for nought, as Nick’s sexiness powered him to figure out the puzzle and handing him his first individual immunity of the season.
He also kissed the puzzle and how I wish that was me. Oh and Michele broke down over her failure in the challenge which crushed me, though everyone raised her up and I live. (Second tier) icons supporting (second tier) icons, we love to see it.
Back at camp the dejected majority quickly separated to figure out a plan B, given their target won immunity. Their target with the glorious nipples, that is. Anyway, Jeremy suggested taking out Ben, Ben suggested Denise to the group while hoping he could push it on to Jeremy to break up him and Michele. With that, Ben suggested that Jeremy take the 50/50 coin so that he could flush the idol, which he agreed he would do. Instead, Jeremy approached Nick with the duo suggesting breaking up Ben and Denise is more important to them and as such, they should focus on getting rid of Ben. Speaking of Ben he was telling Michele that Jeremy was planning to steal her advantage away again, which she refused to do. Sadly for him, Jeremy and Michele swapped stories and quickly deduced that he was trying to play them against each other and as such, they needed to get rid of him ASAP.
Jeremy took this plan to Nick and Tony, with the duo gladly agreeing to get rid of Ben. Only Tony really didn’t want that and as such, took the information back to the rest of the tribe and instead planned to take out Jeremy. While Sarah liked the plan, she was nervous about Nick turning on them and take advantage of their split vote to load them on her and take her out instead. Which is what they were planning to do, instead taking out Ben over Sarah. Which is a win.
At tribal council Michele spoke about her struggles in the challenge before talk turned to constantly being under surveillance, with Ben sharing that the truth eventually comes out in such a high pressure environment. Sarah spoke about the confidence required to do her job, which is how she won her season, however she knew that she needed to change her strategy when approaching this season. Nick agreed that everyone is battling to emulate and change their victorious seasons, while Jeremy argued that while the game is personal, they all needed to find that balance of being cutthroat and respecting each other. Ben agreed, with Michele talking about how hard it is to transition from the duplicitous nature of the game back into the real world. Ben shared that last season made him paranoid of even his wife, with Jeremy agreeing that Cambodia messed him up and made him question his fire stations.
Nick talked about how difficult it is to play only a year between seasons, Tony continued with the war analogies and said his soldiers were ready, while Jeremy said that everyone thinks they have a group. Sarah then brought up the fluidity of alliances before outing Michele’s advantage, with her agreeing that yes she has an advantage and given tonight is the last night to play it, it is likely going to be played. Tony agreed that that makes sense, Denise said she feels calmer tonight which Jeremy agreed with before clarifying it is as calm as he can feel without immunity. With that the tribe voted and tragically that calmness was misplaced as the tribe banded together to get rid of Jeremy. Oh and Michele played her 50/50 coin, which negated two votes against her but that wouldn’t have changed anything.
While I was heartbroken to see Jeremy booted, I was thrilled to throw myself into his ripped, rugged arms for a massive hug. I congratulated him on playing such a solid game and once again aligning with an iconic, underappreciated female in Winchele. He just laughed and thanked me for my ongoing support, before asking if he could put me back on the ground – I had jumped into a princess hold, you see – and smash his food so he could focus on his return challenge. And damn did I love that energy, so gave him an entire batch of Vegeremyte Scrollins to keep him in peak condition.
I know, I know – vegemite is divisive. Even I, as an Australian, only like it under two circumstances. One, on toast with a thick smear of butter accompanied with a sharp juice (mainly when hungover, TBH) or in scroll form. Fluffy pastry, salty vegemite and the sharp, gooey cheese are the ultimate trio, so just give it a chance, okay? Which is coincidentally something I asked Jeremy to do about a relationship with me, but I digress.
Method Preheat the oven to 220C and line 3 baking sheets.
Working a sheet at a time, spread a tablespoon of vegemite over the pastry. Sprinkle with a quarter of the cheese and then loosely roll the sheet to close. Cut each roll into eight, and place on a lined baking sheet, cut side up, allowing for some spread. Repeat the process with the remaining ingredients.
Brush each scroll with some egg and transfer to the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until puffed and golden. Allow to cool for a couple of minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool. Or devouring, because TBH, they are so much better warm.
Previously on Survivor Tyson was coaching his fellow Edge dwellers in the art of losing, given he had now surpassed Rob for the number of times booted. The highlight of the little interlude, however, was Parvati and Natalie finding an extortion advantage where they could charge someone in the game however many Fire Tokens they wanted, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to play in the upcoming immunity challenge or vote at tribal council. Of course they went to Tony, who quickly charmed tokens from his fan club before winning immunity. Oh and he also found a hidden immunity idol, but that wasn’t relevant yet. In any event, while everyone wanted to split the vote between Jeremy and Michele, Tony rallied the troops to boot Sophie to make sure Sarah’s loyalty lied with him and him alone.
We returned to camp where Tony quickly tried to deflect his well thought out plan as merely a last minute decision, while Ben simmered in his jocks that his hit on Jeremy fell through. And hot damn, how funny it was to watch him sulk and ignore Jeremy while Jeremy rolled his eyes like a bloody icon. Speaking of being unhappy, Sarah was well and truly pissed at Tony for taking out her other closest ally as it clearly shows that he is making moves that solely benefit him. Despite assuring us that she was going to keep calm and carry on, she pulled grimy Tony away from camp and proceeded to tear him a new arsehole for ruining her game. Talking about how screwed she now is loud enough for the people she is talking about to hear. Tony tried to keep her calm and remind her that they have an idol in their pocket before Sarah agreed to forgive him until the point where it screws her.
Tony continued his apology tour, approaching Ben to assure him that he still wants to work with him and only went rogue to take out a bigger threat. Tony filled him in on the idol intel before Ben assured us that Jeremy will still be a target from now on. Oh and then Tony got shat on by a bird in the middle of the night. Which is important.
The next day Tony decided it was time to bring back his old faithful move of spying, this time taking to the sky in a well hidden perch atop a tree. Sarah hilariously arrived to tell him that nobody would be going to the well any time soon and that he should just go back to camp. Jeremy, Kim and Ben were back at camp, with Ben still refusing to talk to Jeremy while Kim decided now was the time to form an alliance to deal with Tony and Sarah. More specifically, Tony. With that, she approached Denise, Nick and Michele who were all keen to take control and get rid of Tony while they still had the chance.
Meanwhile on the Edge of Extinction Rob discovered a note instructing everyone to retrieve 20 coconuts each from the other side of the island, with the first six to finish getting two fire tokens while the rest get none. With that they were off and racing, with Rob out in front and Adam close to the back, while Danni decided to pace herself. Almost instantly Rob decided pacing himself would be the smartest move, taking the foot off the gas to reduce the target on his back. Obviously Natalie powered like a machine, while Adam continued to languish at the back of the pack. Well until Rob sliced his elbow open and gave up. At the front with Natalie was Sophie and honestly, why don’t people see her as the challenge beast that she is. As such, the girls were first to finish, followed by Yul, Tyson and Parv together, leaving Danni and Wendell to battle for the last tokens, with Wendell tragically taking it out. With everyone out of the race, Rob decided that he couldn’t let the challenge beat him and as such, he got back to work to see it through.
Meanwhile at Koru, Jeremy was still confused about why Ben was so salty with him, while Tony and Sarah continued to bicker, much to the delight of Nick. Amidst the chaos, Nick decided that now is the time to make an endgame deal, so approached Michele and Denise to form a final three, with the duo pulling Kim in for a controlling four given Nick knows that Jeremy, Tony and Sarah are all guaranteed to beat him. Speaking of the latter two, they stopped fighting long enough to realise that Sophie’s idol would now be back in play and as such, they need to find it to take control. But that is something that everyone had realised, as the tribe went hunting for it. Ben and Tony got together, with Ben sharing that Kim was trying to put together a plan against him, however the discussion was interrupted as Ben found the idol in front of Tony and, for reasons, TRIED TO HIDE IT.
Okay, so maybe not everyone is cementing their legacy this season.
My dear Probst arrived for the latest immunity challenge – the Teresa Cooper, Shi-Ann Huang and Parvati Shallow Memorial ‘When It Rains it Pours’. Aka, everyone’s hand is tethered above their head to a bucket of water with the last ones standing – of each gender, again – taking out immunity. While Ben was busy asking Probst for some food to tempt him out of the challenge, Jeremy dropped out of nowhere. He was followed by Ben and Sarah in quick succession, while Tony assured Nick that he won’t be dropping out because he wants a hattrick, but assured him it doesn’t mean they aren’t good. After 15 minutes Probst brought out peanut butter, cookies and milk to step out, which Kim, Michele and Nick jumped at, handing Denise and Tony immunity out of nowhere.
Back at camp Tony celebrated yet another victory, while Kim was smarting to have lost her shot to take him out. She joined Michele, Nick, Denise and Ben to figure out who to target instead, with them agreeing that Jeremy would be the cleanest option for everyone. Well except for Michele, who has been closely aligned with him from the start. Meanwhile Ben decided to be the worst and approached Tony to let him know about Kim’s plan to get rid of him. Tony then approached Nick, who tried to bumble his way out of the truth before admitting that Kim had thrown his name out there. With that Tony filled in Sarah, with the duo deciding that sticking with getting rid of Jeremy makes sense, given they need to keep Ben happy to have any chance of getting numbers. With that, Tony pulled Ben aside and asked him to focus on getting rid of Kim instead, given getting rid of Jeremy will hand the girls and Nick power and as such, screw them over.
At the shelter, Michele approached Jeremy to figure out a way to save him, throwing the idea of handing him her 50/50 coin to save him. Tony then approached Jeremy, who suggested he take the coin before going to Ben and trying to smooth things over. And while it didn’t appear to work, he did get the coin from Michele.
At tribal council Denise likened the aftermath of the last tribal council to horrible family therapy. Kim reminded Probst that the numbers shift day by day, with Tony correcting her and saying it was actually minute by minute and Jeremy said it was like being on a neverending treadmill. Talk soon turned to Michele, Kim and Nick stepping out of the challenge, with the girls both saying how much they regretted it while Nick said he got paid a fire token, but yeah, still regretted it. As such, everyone started whispering and going wild trying to formulate a plan, leaving Probst to commentate, while Kim rightly focused her attention on getting answers from Sarah. Tony tried to rally the numbers against Kim, Nick refused to vote for her and said he was voting Jeremy before Denise decided to be mature and put a stop to everything and said that she just wants to vote and go back to camp.
And with that, the tribe voted and Tony offered to play his idol for Sarah, before she declined. Jeremy considered playing Michele’s 50/50 coin but also backed out, which turned out to be the right move, as the tribe voted the iconic Kim from the game. It hasn’t happened in a while, but given we lost two iconic women back-to-back again, she followed the sounds of my ugly cries to the boat to the Edge of Extinction. I quickly jumped into her arms and told her how heartbroken I was to see her voted out despite riding the bottom for such a long time. Which is also a passion of mine. In any event, Kim is strong as hell and has a strong chance of making a return to the game, so I wiped my tears and gave her some returnee sustenance in the form of my Pizza Bakim Spudlins.
Stuffed, baked potatoes are so warming and nostalgic, reminding me of cold winter tuck shops in the ‘90s. But this is so much more than ham and cheese. Loaded like a pizza, it is packed with all the gloriously Italian flavours you could dream of.
Enjoy!
Pizza Bakim Spudlins Serves: 4.
Ingredients 4 large baking potatoes 1 tbsp olive oil ½ onion, diced 4 garlic cloves, minced 80g sliced pepperoni, roughly chopped 400g can diced tomatoes ½ tsp caster sugar salt and pepper, to taste 2 tsp dried oregano small handful of basil, shredded 100g mozzarella, grated 50g parmesan cheese, grated
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Scrub the potatoes if needed and dry well, before pricking them several times with a skewer. Place on a lined baking sheet and bake in the oven for 90 minutes, or until the outside is crispy but they feel soft.
While the tates or tating, heat the oil in a frying pan over medium heat and cook for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and pepperoni and cook for a couple of minutes to take the bitterness out of the garlic and to draw out the pepperoni oil, before you stir through the diced tomatoes. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for five minutes. Stir in the sugar and season with a good whack of salt and pepper, before stirring through the oregano and half of the basil.
Combine the cheeses in a bowl.
To serve, cut the potatoes into four, spoon over a generous ladleful of sauce, top with a generous helping of the cheese mixture and a sprinkle of the basil. And then, devour.
Previously on Survivor everyone on the Edge was given an advantage menu for the upcoming return challenge. For lasting the longest, Yul and Parvati were screwed and couldn’t afford to buy anything while everyone else but Amber – who gave her tokens to Rob – bought advantages, and an idol each for Rob and Natalie. Ultimately it was Tyson who won his way back into the game, before kinda disappearing from the rest of the episode as he wanted to just disappear into the background. After Denise and Jeremy took out immunity things turned into chaos back at camp as Nick, Adam and Wendell quickly became the targets. And while the tribe kind of descended into chaos, Queen Sophie stepped in and took control, protecting Adam and rallying the tribe to take out Wendell instead.
We returned to camp after tribal council where Tony was thrilled about the literal clear skies while Michele was pissed to have been left out of the vote, despite being super vocal about wanting Wendell out week in, week out like the icon that she is. She and Nick caught up about being the two on the bottom, with Nick more shocked that his name was the one on the block tonight alongside Adam, even though it is his birthday. Fuming like Rodney in Worlds Apart, Nick was ready to go back to camp and give his tribemates a serve before Michele suggested that it wasn’t the best idea and that instead he should lay low, so the idiots don’t target them next. Tony arrived to check in on them, with Nick firing up before Tony told him to calm down and stop being stupid.
Michele, meanwhile, caught up with Adam, assuring him that while she is a little pissed about being left out, she is happy to pretend she isn’t furious and let the dingbats continue to think that she is their friend. Honestly, I love Michele and that is all I have to say about that. I love her as much as I love Adam telling her that he believes that the decal on Probst’s podium at tribal council is a hidden immunity idol and should he feel nervous, he will rip it off and play it. And either that is a brilliant move, or explains why he has been shown as a bumbling fool all season.
The next day we ventured to the Edge of Extinction where Parvati was leading Natalie and Danni through a yoga class before Yul stumbled upon clues for an advantage. After vague directions to step back and allow history to repeat itself, the group decided it must be a combination of previous clues and made a beeline for the top of the hill. At the summit, they opted to split into smaller groups, with Natalie bundling Wendell and Yul together as the newbies so that should one of the OG crew find the advantage, they can share in some sweet food without them, given they haven’t been suffering as long.
As the groups searched high and low, Danni realised that maybe the history repeats itself part of the clue could be referring to the last Edge of Extinction, where Aubry was told to step back and found an advantage. With that, she and Parvati ran down the stairs and immediately found a new 50/50 advantage in the rock wall. Knowing that Michele is flush with cash, Parvati suggested that they sell it to her for four tokens before she and Danni debated whether they should keep their secret to themselves. At that moment, Rob, Ethan, Amber and Natalie appeared to see if they had found anything and guilt got the better of them, sharing the advantage and vowing to buy food for them all.
Probst arrived on screen for this week’s reward challenge where the tribe were split into two teams and forced to swim out to a net with wooden fish, bring it back to shore, load them onto hooks, carry them to a station and use the fish to solve a puzzle. The victorious team would get a glorious feast of Chinese take-out back at camp while the losers could watch from a distance and seethe. Oh and because there were an uneven number of castaways remaining, one person wouldn’t even get to compete. Tyson, Adam, Tony, Nick and Jeremy faced off against Kim, Sarah, Ben, Sophie and Michele, while poor Denise was left out on the Sandra Bench, ironic given her brutal blindside of the Queen. Well, probably – ask Alanis.
Ben, Kim and Sarah got their team out to an early lead, though Tony, Adam and Tyson desperately tried to stay in the fray. But obviously, with Sophie on the puzzle and having a lead, she made quick work of things and secured reward for her group. Before Jeff sent them back to camp to feast on their spoils, Sarah asked if she would be able to give up her reward for someone and once ok-ed by Probst, handed it over to Nick as a birthday celebration. And because Probst is as messy as the rest of us, he pointed out that that was a really nice thing to do in a game for $2 million, with Sarah left to bat it away with a weak explanation that she would overeat and feel sick, so she’d rather him be miserable for his birthday. That sound you hear is Rodney screaming about nobody caring about his birthday.
Back at camp the victors discovered their food, with Nick vowing to pay Sarah back. She then explained to him and us at home that she didn’t do it for anything in return and simply wanted him to have something nice after being blindsided on his birthday – again, Rodney screamed – and leaving his new fiance at home. And TBH, the world could do with a little more kindness, which I would have hated before being in COVID isolation. Now I like it. The victors took their feast somewhere private to avoid rubbing anyone’s face in it, while Tony and Sarah caught up by the beach. Tony was shocked and disappointed in his friend, worried that she lost her killer edge and that she had now painted a target on her back. Meanwhile back at camp Jeremy, Tyson, Adam and Denise were bitching about Sarah for her cold, calculating move and played it down as nothing more than a way to woo Nick to her side.
We checked in with the victors where Nick too was doubting the genuine nature of her kindness, and knew that even if it was, Sarah would still gladly vote him out at the next tribal council if that is what her alliance wants. They then went around opening fortune cookies while smashing the food before Michele found something in her bag. With that, she excused herself and discovered the 50/50 advantage though was scared at the prospect of using all of her fire tokens to buy it. As such, she flipped it a couple of times and when it landed equally on both sides, she decided to heed the advice of the Survivor Gods by way of the fortune cookies – I shit you not – and empty her purse to get some control. I mean, she is an icon and I love her.
Probst returned for the immunity challenge where the remaining castaways would balance on A-frames in the middle of the very choppy ocean. You know the one, it is when Spencer showed off his O-face! Given it is an endurance challenge and they aren’t overly exciting to read about, let’s focus on the fact that Jeremy is hot and so ripped, Tyson is still a babe and Nick is fast becoming island hot. Almost immediately Michele fell over and out of the challenge, she was soon followed by Denise as Jeremy too struggled, making me wonder if their end of the challenge was worse than the others, given they were all in a row. Despite the constant struggle, Jeremy made it through to the second rung, with Tyson being the first to fall, followed by Jeremy and Tony, who axed himself in the nads. The remaining six moved on to the final stage of the challenge, which quickly saw Adam, Sophie, Nick and Sarah drop from the challenge, leaving Ben and Kim to battle it out before Ben finally dropped, handing Kim immunity. By the skin of her teeth.
Back at camp Kim was feeling confident and as such, rallied the older crew and suggested they split the vote between Nick and Adam. While they all agreed, Ben suggested that it may be cleaner to leave Adam out of the split and instead put the back-up votes on Michele, given she was left out at the last tribal council with Nick. Nick meanwhile, was sick of being a nobody in the game, so decided now was the right time to cause some chaos. As such, he approached Tyson and told him that Sophie was throwing his name out instead. They then took this intel to Jeremy and Adam. The latter, however, wasn’t interested in getting rid of Sophie and instead thought that they should target Sarah, given she is close to Ben. The group then looped Michele in, filling her with glee.
Denise was looped in on the plan, so approached Kim to gauge her interest. Kim being the damn icon that she is, said that if Sarah is the plan, she is happy to go along with the plan. And then immediately caught up with Tyson to find out why in the hell Sarah was now the target. Tyson agreed that it wasn’t a smart move and given Adam was the one that quickly flipped everyone onto Sarah, maybe he should be the target instead as he is clearly dangerous. With that, they approached Jeremy to see if he would be keen before looping Tony and Sarah in on the vote. Everyone laughed at the sheer madness of the scramble before Sarah approached Ben to let him know that Adam tried to flip the vote on her because they are too close. Not wanting to play it calmly, Ben pulled Adam aside to see if he was the one that tried to flip on him and Sarah and while Adam tried to dance around the truth, Ben grew infuriated and vowed never to trust him.
Leaving in a huff, Ben took the chaos to the next level as he angrily asked Tony whether he is the one that threw his name out like Michele told him. Meanwhile Nick was busy confronting Jeremy about his name being thrown out, Denise was confused, Tyson told Michele the plan was Sarah, Sarah checked in with Kim to find out what the plan was – it was Adam, FYI – while Tony, Jeremy and Michele locked in a vote for Nick. Tyson assured Nick they were voting for Sarah, while Sophie marvelled that every time they lock in a vote, everyone disappeared to continue strategising. Nick then told Tony that Tyson was pushing for Sarah, this led to Sarah throwing out Tyson’s name, getting Sophie and Michele onboard, the latter of which looped Adam in on the plan. Nick took the information to Tony and Jeremy while Adam and Denise tried to figure out if the plan was still Sarah. And honestly this was like 30 seconds of footage.
All I know is Adam decided to go for the potential idol at tribal council, which is either going to be an epic fail or a killer move. And as I said, the edit feels like it will be the former.
At tribal council Sarah spoke about the pandemonium back at camp, sharing that literally everyone’s name was thrown out at some point. Tyson joked about the absurdity of it all, with Jeremy likening it to a bushfire jumping a highway. Denise said that the stress of the day aged her, while Nick said that he is sick of people focusing on easy targets like himself, Adam and Tyson. He then got super spicy – which I love – and said that that style of gameplay is a pathetic war and he is sick of not being able to play, and as such, he challenged everyone to actually fight. Adam tried to focus on Probst’s questioning but got distracted as everyone started to whisper amongst themselves. Adam and Nick started to swap stories and realised that they were each told to load their votes on the other, with Sophie giving Adam a weak assurance that he should be fine.
Wanting to get into the spicy spirit, Adam pointed out that Ben was being cagey before they left for tribal and refused to look him in the eye or talk to him. Ben countered that he refused to talk to Adam because Adam refused to answer a question earlier that day, which honestly, is a weak bloody feud. As they argued back and forth about their entire journey, the rest of the tribe continued to whisper and lock in their votes. After their fight ended, Adam tried to jump in on the whispering but was completely shut out and told to just trust in what he was told. Nick shared that the whispering made him feel better, which Adam countered must mean that he should then feel worried. He then asked everyone if they could offer him similar assurances, only to be met by silence from the tribe.
With that the tribe voted, Adam tried to break the tribal council set and when he couldn’t break off the fleur de lis, he decided to sit back down. Probst decided to sass him and asked whether he was sure it wasn’t an idol, leading to Adam asking if he could play it. Probst said that he could but it wasn’t an idol. He then tallied the votes and sadly for Adam, they piled up on him and he found himself joining the crew on the Edge. Which TBH, is our superfan winner’s dream. As he was exiting tribal council, I pulled him in for a massive hug and congratulated him on living out our dream yet again by playing on such a legendary season with such legendary winners. And while he was touched, he reminded me that he wanted to be reunited with those icons on the Edge and quickly took his Adam Shacklein Burger to go.
This Shake Shack copycat is so good, I almost don’t have to rage about not having Shake Shack in Australia. The sauce is glorious, the beef juicy and the lettuce and tomato helps stop you feeling guilty from having multiple.
Enjoy!
Adam Shacklein Burger Serves: 4.
Ingredients ½ cup mayonnaise 1 tbsp dijon mustard ¾ tsp ketchup ½ tsp pickle brine pinch of cayenne pepper 500g beef mince 4 leaves butter lettuce 1-2 tomatoes, sliced salt and pepper, to taste 4 slices American cheese 4 potato buns
Method Start by combining the mayonnaise, dijon mustard, ketchup, pickle brine and the pinch of cayenne pepper in a bowl. Give a good stir, cover and chill while you prep the rest of the burgers. Ideally an hour or two if you have the time.
Meanwhile, scrunch the beef mince in a large bowl until the meat is starting to come together. Divide into four balls and roll tightly. Place on a lined plate, cover and pop in the fridge to chill for about an hour.
After those hours have passed and you’re ready to go, pop a skillet over medium heat and toast each of the burger buns in a skillet. Remove and wipe the skillet clean.
Immediately take the burgers out of the fridge, place in the skillet and flatten to about one to two centimetre thickness with a metal spatula and sprinkle with a bit of salt and pepper. Cook for a couple of minutes before flipping, seasoning with the remaining salt and pepper and topping each with a slice of cheese and cook for a further couple of minutes to melt before removing from the heat.
To assemble, smear the top and bottom with a little bit of the chilled sauce. Pop the cheesy patty on the base, top with tomato and lettuce before closing the burger and devouring. Ideally with fries.
Previously on Australian Survivor, 24 players returned to the game looking for revenge, redemption or both. Or in Shane and Jericho’s case, to prove they’re the Sandra Diaz-Twine of Australian Survivor. Sadly neither earned the title this go around as Shane and Jericho went out back-to-back, echoing the US All Stars. Once the former winners were out of the way, Daisy was the first to be brutally blindsided from the game with an epic play between David and Mat. She was then followed by Season 2(/4) icons Michelle and Henry.
After those tragic eliminations, Shonee kicked off an epic revenge arc, destroying all the people that thought she was weak, starting with Lydia followed by Abbey and my love John. After that arc finished, Mat fell followed by Phoebe, Flick and Nick, who narrowly missed becoming the first juror for a second time.
Once the tribes came together, David pretended to be on the outs with his swap tribe before blindsiding Locky and taking control post merge. While Harry was the next to go, the game took a heartbreaking turn as Lee was pulled due to a family emergency. His exit was followed by the most overly-complicated non-eliminations before Zach was officially (eventually) felled. Jacqui was then cut for turning on her allies, followed by the tragic exit of our Queen Shonee. A.K. was the next to exit before Brooke’s immunity run cost Tarzan his place before Queen Brookewas also cut.
After winning the final immunity challenge, David eliminated his biggest competitor Moana, setting the stage for him to battle against former runner-up Sharn. While she improved on her previous performance in front of the jury, Sharn’s messier game wasn’t respected as everyone but her bestie Moana joined together to crown David the Sole Survivor.
Which given he managed to play one of the most dominant, American-series-esque games of Australian Survivor with a massive target on his back, it is what he deserves. David came in with his loss and Pia’s subsequent win fresh in his mind, with him clearly learning from her game to perfect his own. Not just a showy gamer this time, David worked on perfecting his social game which ultimately protected him and made the jury want to award him the prize. And me, some Fried Davioli Genat.
The only thing I love more than a Golden God nude scene is fried food, so these little morsels were the perfect way to honour his victory. Glorious cheesy pasta, coated in crumb and fried until the inside is gooey? Sign. Me. Up.
Enjoy!
Fried Davioli Genat Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 cup buttermilk 1 tsp freshly ground pepper 2 cups panko breadcrumbs 500g packet cheese ravioli vegetable oil, to shallow-fry 1 cup Spicy TomaJones Sauce, to serve ½ cup freshly chopped parsley, to serve ¼ cup grated parmesan, to serve
Method Place the buttermilk in a bowl and the breadcrumbs and pepper in another. Dip each ravioli in the buttermilk, followed by the peppered crumb. Transfer to a lined plate and repeat the process until they’re all good to go.
Pour about 3cm deep worth of oil in a dutch oven oven medium heat until nice and hot. Working a few at a time, add the ravioli and cook for a couple of minutes each side, or until golden (god) and crisp. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate and repeat the process until done.
Serve immediately with some Spicy TomaJones Sauce by its side, covered with a winning sprinkle of parsley and parmesan. Then devour, victoriously.
Previously on Australian Survivor, 24 All Star players returned to the game with Lydia out for revenge, Henry lived to be messy, Brooke was a challenge beast and David claimed a suite of idols. Amongst the chaos Queen Shane followed Tina Wesson’s first-to-worst trajectory (despite almost avoiding it), followed by Jericho, Daisy – in a brutal blindside from Dave – Michelle and Henry before Shonee kicked off an epic revenge arc by eliminating Lydia, Abbey and John back-to-back-to-back. They were followed by Mat, Phoebe and Flick before Nick tragically missed the jury.
Locky ultimately became the first to go post-merge, followed by Harry and the tragic exit of Lee. Zach, Jacqui, Shonee and AK soon followed before Brooke’s immunity run forced the dominant majority alliance to turn on each other to boot Tarzan. Which was tragically followed by Brooke losing immunity and heading to the jury as one of our icon fourth placed robbed-goddesses, leaving Moana, Dave and Sharn to battle it out for victory.
The final three awoke on Day 49, with Dave shocked to still be in the game despite entering All Stars with a huge target from his previous season. Though thankfully, he learnt from his previous mistakes and this time forged strong bonds to keep him in the game. He then praised Moana and Sharn for being such strong competitors, though reminded himself that he is not there to make friends and he is playing to reunite his family and move back to Australia. And yeah, there is no way he is losing right?
Wait, no – we do get to hear from the other two. Sharn spoke about how important it is to win final immunity and to get to choose your opponent. While she only made it to the end with the help of her allies, the alliance would break tonight and as such, she needs to make sure she has control. Rightly, she congratulated herself on making it to the final three twice in a row and as such, she more than anyone, knows the pain of losing and as such, she isn’t going to suffer through that again. We finally checked in with Moana, who shared that she came into All Stars to pick up where she left off, after having to exit the game because she was sick. She highlighted that she played a stealth, strategic game and has never been in any real danger because she has been across literally everything that happened in camp. Which again, is true.
The final three arrived on a very windy cliff where they met Jonathan who explained that they would each stand on small pedestals with one hand holding an idol on a post and the other pulling a ring, pulling them in the other direction with the last one standing taking out immunity. As is tradition, Jonathan then wheeled out everyone’s families to distract them and make their heart break before physically destroying them. Sharn’s kids all still look exactly like their father, though hopefully the kids didn’t get his personality. But I can’t even be mean because her oldest son was super sweet about her and now I am crying. Then Jonathan wheeled out Moana’s wife of 53 days and her sister Vinnie and hot damn, I’m sobbing. Vinnie is life, Mo’s wife is hot – it is perfect. Oh and then Vinnie hugged Dave as Isabella’s crying made her sad and damn, I forgive the final three for making the merge boring. Can Vinnie be a write-in winner? I mean, Edge of Extinction is a thing, so anything goes now. Oh and then Dave’s wife and daughter arrived and see, he isn’t an arrogant jerk, he is delightful and such a kind family man. Also, can we circle back to the fact Moana’s wife is straight up beautiful? As beautiful as Dave’s sons calling him to wish him luck.
After drying their tears and hugging their families, the final three climbed up to their craggy perches while their poor families sat on a cliff and quietly wished that the challenge would be as short as possible. Well except for Vinnie and the younger kids who disappeared and honestly, Vinnie better be getting good money to babysit those kids because she is precious and needs to be protected at all costs. Anyway, as Australian Survivor is wise enough to stick with endurance challenges for final immunity, they aren’t the most exciting to recap. That being said, Jonathan said ‘It’s All Stars Baby’ in Caitlyn Jenner’s voice and honestly, I live. Moana started to struggle early in the challenge, but she showed so much personality in her interactions with her wife and now I am rooting for her.
Sharn spoke about it being more difficult than her OG final immunity challenge, while David spoke about how much he wants it and as such, while it is painful, he won’t back down. After more than an hour, out of nowhere Moana slipped off the pegs and literally fell out of the challenge, panicking everyone and leading to her wife heroically coming to rescue her and honestly, I ship them so hard. Left alone in the challenge for a further hour, David decided to try and make a deal with Sharn, suggesting that no matter what, they’re going to the end because they both want to face off against the best in the final tribal council. Sharn agreed how much of an honour it would be to go to the end with him, however neither seemed to be willing to back down. A torrential downpour then rolled in for dramatic effect and while David looked to be struggling, it was Sharn that collapsed out of nowhere, handing David immunity. And more likely, the title of Sole Survivor.
At tribal council David spoke about how amazing it was to see all of their families and compete in the final immunity challenge, though was saddened to be bringing an end to one of his closest allies’ games. Moana highlighted how close she and Dave have been from the start which immediately led to Sharn cutting her off and talking about how she was just as close with Dave. She then pointed out that she isn’t really loyal to her bestie Moana by saying that she and Dave agreed that they wanted to go to the end together during the immunity challenge. Obviously because this is All Stars and they need to have the best facing off. Moana laughed at the thought and pointed out that they all made deals with each other and as such, that deal means nothing. She then pointed out that she has played a strong game and more importantly, she doesn’t address a jury for a living.
Sharn laughed about her previous final tribal – lol – before smartly pointing out that the duo had played similar games, while her game and David’s are clearly distinguishable and as such, the jury can easily pick a winner. Oh and then Moana got sassy and honestly, where was she all season – she said that Sharn had her shot in front of the jury and now it is time she has hers. Oh and if Dave thinks she is an easy beat, take her to the end and prove it. With that David voted and tragically Moana was sent from the game as the final juror, not because she was the weaker opponent, but because she was the stronger one.
As soon as I saw Moana enter the Jury Villa, I ran to her to give her a massive hug and to praise her for playing such a dominant game alongside David. Yes, yes, I spent a lot of time complaining about how boring their alliance made the show, but that doesn’t take away from their stellar, controlling games. That being said, David had something working in his favour that Moana tragically didn’t and that was the fact I planned to make Moana a pizza. Yes, the Fame Hungry Survivor Pizza curse strikes again and it is my fault Mo lost the prize and instead had to settle for a Buffaloana Chicken Hopizza.
Like burgers, buffalo chicken is one of those things I am very passionate about shoe-horning into other culinary forms. From burgers to meatballs, buffalo chicken just works in so many forms and despite being the curse that ended Mo’s game, there is no denying this is perfection. And maybe a little worth it.
Enjoy!
Buffaloana Chicken Hopizza Serves: 6.
Ingredients 1 cup hot sauce 2 tbsp butter 3 cups shredded roast chicken (or Chooke) salt and pepper, to taste 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor ½ cup passata handful of fresh Italian herbs, roughly chopped 1-2 cups mozzarella cheese, grated 2-4 celery stalks, thinly sliced 1-2 carrots, thinly sliced ⅔ cup blue cheese, crumbled Michelle Branch Dressing, to serve
Method Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions.
When they’re almost finished proving, combine the hot sauce and butter in a saucepan and melt over low heat until combined. Remove from the heat and fold through the chicken. Season to taste, probably more pepper than salt, in my opinion.
Preheat the oven to 180°C.
To assemble, smear the bases with passata and herbs. Top with the mozzarella, carrot and celery, followed by the spicy chicken and blue cheese. Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.
Devouring immediately with a good lashing of ranch dressing in honour of my menu choices ended my favourite potential winner (of the final three).
Previously on Survivor we skipped checking in on our Queen of Fire Tokens Natalie and her friends on the Edge as it was time for the tribe switch! Sandra and Tony remained on top with Kim on new Dakal, while Parvati and Michele were driving the boys wild on new Sele and the mess trio of Rob, Ben and Adam were joined on the newly formed Yara tribe along with Sarah and Sophie. After the latter messed up the puzzle and booked Yara a trip to tribal council, the boys locked in their votes for Sarah despite their differences. Then Rob robbed, forcing everyone into the buddy system for the afternoon, allowing Sarah and Sophie to pantomime some plans to the boys before they joined together to blindside Rob from the game.
We ventured back to Yara the next day where the kids were thrilled to be liberated from Boston Rob; free to do what they pleased and talk to whoever they damn wanted. Ben shared that he voted for Rob because he felt a general lack of respect from him, which is why he wanted to reclaim control of his own game. Plus, he had grown really close to Sophie and Sarah and couldn’t bring himself to vote them out. Something that Adam noticed, and now worried that voting out Rob was not a good move for his game as he is now well and truly on the bottom of this tribe.
Speaking of Rob, he was loving life on the Edge of Extinction, hanging with his wife and being all cute until Tyson arrived with a note written on a log offering them the chance to earn another fire token. Obviously this filled Natalie, Amber, Danni and Ethan with dread having flashbacks to their torturous challenge before Tyson explained that they wouldn’t be pushed to the brink – today – and instead, would need to search amongst stones to find their reward, being mindful of being in the right place at the right time. Obviously that meant something about the tides and while Rob and Amber climbed the cliff, Tyson hung close to the shore and found an idol nullifier tethered to a log. Sadly for him, Rob saw him find it, leading to him needing to pretend to pee so that everyone would turn around so that he could grab it. Knowing that Parv is rolling in fire tokens, Tyson sold it to her and then immediately purchased a jar of peanut butter with his token. Rather than an advantage in the return challenge. Which honestly, is the exact choice I would make in that situation. Plus, it does give him some energy for the challenge anyway.
My love Jeffrey arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes would race out to a boat and retrieve three bags of rice. They would then work them through an obstacle, take it back to the shore and cut the bags to release three balls … which they would then use to complete a table maze. Oh and to make matters worse, only one tribe would be winning immunity today, as both losing tribes would attend tribal council separately and vote somebody out. Making everyone look like they were about to shit their pants, something that knowledge that PB&Js awaited the winners couldn’t even allay.
Yul got Sele out to an early lead, wth Yara and Dakal fighting it out for second place. Sele quickly got all their bags through the obstacle, with Dakal working hard to close the gap while Yara brought up the rear. Wait, no, they caught up again and Dakal was behind. Sele and Yara both made it to the maze at the same time, giving them an early lead over Dakal. Nick made quick work of the puzzle, landing the first ball, with Sophie quickly following and landing Yara’s first. Wendell and Kim each dropped their balls for Dakal and Sele leaving Adam to land Yara’s second ball. Wendell managed to land a second ball for Sele while Sophie danced around the third ball for a couple of seconds before ultimately landing it and giving Yara immunity.
Back at Sele the tribe commiserated about their loss while Parvati shared that she is feeling well and truly screwed, given the guys hold the numbers and that she is the biggest threat left in the game. Nick was sad about potentially getting rid of Parv, given he had always wanted to play with her but knew that he had to stick with his allies. Meanwhile Michele and Parvati caught up and agreed that yeah, Parvati is pretty much screwed, but Michele got to work trying to find one person to flip over to them. She started by approaching her ex about throwing a vote on him with Parvati to guarantee she gets her fire tokens when she is booted. This obviously made Wendell nervous and angry that she would force the vote to needlessly end up at 3-2. Parvati then tried her hand talking to Wendell and while the two of them couldn’t see eye to eye or trust each other, he did offer to vote however she wanted him to for two of her fire tokens.
While she got nothing out of him, she used that information to approach Nick to let him know that Wendell would vote him out if she paid him two fire tokens and as such, he shouldn’t trust him. And obviously that was enough to put doubt in Nick’s mind as he realised that while Parvati is a threat, it is very obvious, while he didn’t expect Wendell to be playing such a dirty game against him and as such, maybe now is the right time to turn on him.
At tribal council Wendell spoke about the fact that this season would be dictated by prior relationships, however his plan is to compartmentalise and stab everyone in the back if and when he needed. This made Nick nervous, agreeing that that may have been how they played their winning games, but that may not be the right way to win this time. Michele agreed that everyone has played a winning game and each game is different, for example, hers was more social and maybe that is what it will take this time. Parv joined the fray to agree with the others, reminding them that she likes to work with people and build trust, rather than backstabbing them. Which is true. This made Wendell annoyed because everyone was painting him as the bad guy in the situation, when he hadn’t even actually backstabbed anyone but was simply being real. Which I guess is true, but is also a terrible thing to say in Survivor.
Parvati slyly mentioned that maybe that was a pointed comment at Michele – QUEEN – with Michele agreeing that Wendell doesn’t really speak to her kindly because they have gone through things together. Parvati admitted that she feels like Wendell hasn’t really been open to her all game, which annoyed him and made him talk about the fact he was open with her about the fact she would be going home. Parv called him out on it and mentioned the offer to vote with her, which he jumped on and agreed that it is still on the table. Parv being the icon that she is, pushed him to name a name then and he stammered into silence, hopefully enough to convince Yul or Nick to join her. Wendell then tried to play the victim, sharing that he is the only one giving anything and she didn’t bother trying to come to the table.
Yul admitted that he was feeling nervous after watching them fight, unsure whether the plans that were made that afternoon would go ahead. Michele said that she loves everyone and that she truly didn’t want to hurt anyone, leading to Nick telling her that she needs to grow a backbone because people will be turning on each other for $2M. With that the tribe voted and despite pushing hard, Queen Parvati was tragically booted from the game. Though honestly, the fact she lasted this long has been a near miracle given the size of her target. Oh and in a moment of solidarity with an up and coming queen, she bequeathed her tokens to Michele.
I grabbed Parv on her way out the door and pulled her in for a massive hug. While I was gutted to see her go out the door, she once again came into the game with the biggest target and the fact it took a bad swap to finally take her out after a masterful start to the game was nearly exhilarating. Plus, if one of those Edge challenges is endurance, she is the clear favourite to come back. She was obviously touched by my gushing, though more touched we got to share a pair of Parvati Shalloaded Sausage Rolls like the besties we are.
These are a little bit basic and a little bit trashy, but so am I. And when something tastes this good, I will defend it for all time. Combining all the fixin’s – to borrow a phrase of Probst – from loaded fries and throwing them on a snag roll, it is the easiest way to fill you with joy. Or dull the pain of losing Parvati.
Enjoy!
Parvati Shalloaded Sausage Rolls Serves: 2.
Ingredients 2 Alyssausage Edwards Rolls or frozen ones, no judgement 4 rashers streaky bacon, diced ⅓ cup vintage cheddar, grated 3 shallots, sliced 1 tbsp sour cream pinch of smoked paprika
Method Cook the sausage rolls per Alyssa’s recipe (or the packet instructions).
Pop a small skillet over medium heat and cook the bacon until nice and crisp.
To assemble, pop a snag roll on your plate, top with a little bit of cheese, some bacon, the shallots and a little more cheese – the quantity is but a suggestion, follow your heart not your cardiologist. Drizzle with the sour cream and dust with the smoked paprika, before devouring immediately.
Previously on Australian Survivor, David secured back-to-back wins in the reward and immunity challenges. Most importantly, he also gave us two beautiful nudes scenes which really does count for something, in my mind. The best of which occurred at the reward, where he had taken his allies Sharn, Moana and Tarzan for an overnight holiday and showered in nature like an actual God. Despite that majesty, the reward meant he left Jacqui alone back at camp with the minority alliance and boy did they work her! At tribal council, Jacqui flipped to their side and they loaded their votes on Moana, while her former alliance all voted for her. While the minority alliance was keen to go to rocks, Sharn convinced them that she would join their side if they let Jacqui go and as such, she headed out to become the queen of the jury.
Back at camp things were decidedly awkward as Sharn tried to act like she was friends with everyone, officially killing off her chances at winning the season. She buddied up to Brooke and Shonee first, the latter of which rightly pointed out that David only wants to keep people he can beat around and as such, she isn’t making it to the end. She then swung by David and Tarzan to pretend that everything that happened at tribal was simply one big act, when in actuality, Tarzan knew she was now lying to them given she mouthed at him to vote Moana in the revote. When I was about to love him, he opted not to call her out and now I am sad and need him to go.
The next day Sharn was still busy buddying up to the Vakama trio when a cow straight up wandered into camp. Obviously Shonee and Brooke approached to see if it would like any pats or better still, to join their alliance and go to the final four with them. Feeling nervous about being replaced by a bovine, Sharn sidled up to David again and reiterated that she is still definitely with him and was solely telling them everything they needed to hear. Which again, is why she lost her first game. And is why she is now the perfect person to take to the end. While David didn’t say that, he did assure her that he is still all in on taking her to the end. And coupled with Shonee’s comment about him only wanting to take people to the end he could beat, that should tell her what he thinks of her current chances.
The tribe all sunbaked by the shore and gossiped before a stewing Tarzan won back my heart, pulling Moana aside to let her know that Sharn was gunning for her at the last tribal council. And given he is so honest, Moana originally wanted to believe him but instead, she and David blindly assured him that Sharn wouldn’t have meant it and he must have misunderstood her.
#JusticeForTarzan
With them occupied, Brooke and Shonee went hunting for an idol for a little bit before gossiping about Sharn losing five jury votes if she dicks them over. Oh and then Shonee reminded us that she is the reason Sharn lost her first season and should she fuck with her, she will gladly makes sure she comes second again. Elsewhere the erstwhile runner-up approached AK to assure him that she is all in with the alliance and while she is keen to get rid of Dave, she also wants to make sure they do it at the right time.
My love Jonathan arrived for the immunity challenge where each tribemate was required to keep themselves wedged between two frames with the last one standing winning immunity. Aka when you used to try and hold yourself up in a door frame and act super cool in the 90s. Almost instantly, AK dropped – due to an ACL injury, FYI – followed closely by Moana and Sharn, who is just as hapless at the challenge as she is in the game. When trying to transition to a higher section of the frame, we lost our Queen Shonee before Tarzan followed after 15 minutes. The remaining two fought it out for another full 30 minutes before David started to struggle, wriggling around while Brooke sat motionless in the frame until finally, after 75 minutes, David dropped and Brooke snatched yet another immunity.
Back at camp David was feeling salty as everyone congratulated Brooke on how easy she made the challenge look. With him simmering, Shonee, Brooke and AK went for a walk, hoping Sharn would follow so they could fashion a plan. She eventually followed them to the well, with AK pushing everyone to load the votes on David, offering himself as the other groups target as he would rather get idoled out than be a sitting duck. Sharn eventually disappeared to chat with her other allies, while Shonee and AK laughed about how screwed Sharn is at the end, should she flip on them. Meanwhile Sharn and Moana were locking in the vote for Shonee, with Moana pointing out how happy that would make Sharn since she wants revenge on her for losing her first season. WHAT?! I think it was your terrible performance in front of the jury. Oh and then she suggested she is playing a killer, covert game this season.
LOL.
After locking in the vote, she disappeared to hang with the Vakama trio to make sure they thought she was in with them. That gave Tarzan time to remind David that he is in grave danger tonight and they really need to think about something other than trusting Sharn. With that, David filled them in on his idol and suggested that he go to Sharn and let her know about the idol and promise her that it is the two of them until the end. He then went and did just that as Sharn fangirled over him and congratulated him on a game well played, she then told us that she could see right through his plan and as such, knew it would be safe to target him tonight.
At tribal council AK admitted to regretting turning on Jacqui, as the risk of rocks was less of a risk than trusting Sharn. Shonee and Brooke joined him by explaining that they were super keen to go to rocks, until Sharn promised to work with them. Sharn then admitted to everything in front of the jury, with Shonee pointing out that should she join the jury because of Sharn, it won’t end well for her. Essentially. Sharn then said that she was happy with the decision she has made for the vote ahead before David tried to play into her ego, saying Sharn has played a great game this season and as such, he wants to face her at the end. AK started to try for the same pitch, encouraging her that now is the time to make a big move and that joining them is pretty much the only way for her to do it.
David tried to remind her that he wants to work with her, while AK and Brooke worked harder, reminding Sharn that taking out David would be best for a lot of people’s games, not just the Vakama trio. AK then started to shoot himself in the foot, talking about changing his mind about who he wants to sit with at the end after each tribal council, based on who is left and how the ones that have gone were voted out. David used this to his advantage, assuring them that he has always been solid and hasn’t swayed from who he wants to go to the final four with. A sentiment which was echoed by Sharn and then Moana.
With that they voted and once again Sharn blindly trusted the strongest man in the game to her detriment, sticking with her OG alliance to send our beloved Queen Shonee from the game. And fuck am I completely enraged! I mean, if you listen carefully during the count, you can hear my screaming expletives from the Jury Villa, vowing to ruin Sharn’s life. While I have slightly calmed down since I am now busy worrying about everyone’s life since COVID-19, I am still furious about her decision to end my queen’s game. But I am no longer planning to ruin her life which is growth. Though let’s be honest, even if I did and she sued me, I honestly don’t think I would need to worry about facing her in court. Given she crumbles in front of a jury, right?
I know, I know – it was a long journey to get ro a boring read about her sucking at final tribal council. But I digress.
As soon as I stopped crying enough to see Shonee in the Jury Villa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and muttered repeatedly about her being a precious angel and needs to win this show eventually and that she better not end up like Cirie, just coming back and never getting the win she deserves. Obviously I sounded completely unhinged but Shon being Shon, she held me tight and assured me that everything is going to be ok.
“But cherub, maybe it would be even better with a little snack, no?”
As it is written, so it shall be done and as requested, I gifted her a piping hot, delicious Shoneedi Burgfax.
I will die on a hill that Oporto’s Bondi Burger is one of the great take-away burgers. Breaded, juicy chicken, chilli that knocks your socks off and a gorgeously creamy mayo work together to create not just a delicious burg, but the perfect way to honour an icon like Shonee.
Enjoy!
Shoneedi Burgfax Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 dried habanero chillies, seeded and chopped 2 tsp hot paprika 6 garlic cloves, minced 2 tsp minced ginger ½ tsp raw caster sugar 2 lemons, zested and juiced ⅓ cup vegetable oil 2 chicken breasts, sliced into two fillets each 1 cup flour, for dredging 1 tsp kosher salt 4 burger buns ¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain 1 cup butter lettuce, washed and shredded 4 slices provolone cheese
Method Start by prepping the chilli sauce by combining the habanero, paprika, garlic, ginger, sugar, lemon juiced and oil in a jug and stir until well combined.
Pour half the chilli sauce into a bowl and add the chicken, tossing through until well coated. Cover and transfer to the fridge to marinate for an hour or so.
When you’re good to go, remove the chicken from the fridge and combine the flour and salt in a bowl. One at a time, remove the breast from the chilli sauce, draining off excess liquid before dredging in the flour mixture. Place on a plate and repeat the process.
Pop a large skillet over medium heat and lightly brush with some extra vegetable oil. Fry the breasts for about five minutes each side until golden, crisp and most importantly, cooked through.
To assemble, split the buns – my favourite part – and spread each side with mayo. Place the lettuce on the bottom followed by a chicken breast, cheese and a generous spoon of the reserved chilli sauce.
Previously on Australian Survivor we had a very convoluted non-elimination journey involving three tribal councils, six exiled castaways, three people saved via challenge and one person booted. With David, somehow, remaining out of the fray despite being the biggest threat and not once winning immunity. After feeling left out of her alliance, Jacqui looked to make a move against David but after looping in Sharn and Moana she learnt that while they were happy with her plan, they would let her act alone, claim the move and unbeknownst to her, take all the wrath of David when his goat Zach was blindsided.
The next day we saw bats – COVID-19 trigger warning – on our way to check in with the tribe where Jacqui was still riding high after her Zach blindside, hungry for more and more to line up and fill her resume. She then dressed in David’s clothes and strutted around camp, anointed herself as the golden goddess and hot damn, why haven’t we seen this Jacqui all season. This is the icon we fell in love with in season 2! Meanwhile elsewhere in camp, Shonee and Brooke were eating scum water from the tribe’s pot, living their absolute best lives. Thrilled to have found a crack by blindsiding Zach, the duo used Jacqui’s pride to their advantage and pulled her aside in the water to praise her on a job well done and to try formulate a plan for the next vote.
On the flipside, David was back at camp feeling absolutely miserable. Annoyed that his meat shield is no longer around to protect him, he was nervous that people would sense weakness and come for him should he not regain control. Or win immunity. As such he continued to foster his relationship with Tarzan, in the hopes that he will protect him and keep their alliance tight. The boys then bonded by stripping off and skinny dipping together, which doesn’t make sense. But it makes me wet, so I don’t care.
They popped their pants on and returned to camp where Moana was desperately trying to hide her joy at losing Zach, while Jacqui continued to monologue about how great her blindside was. Did you know she flipped on Zach? Jacqui orchestrated a blindside? Jacqui voted out Zach, you hear? While Jacqui moved on to the next person to talk about her brilliance, Moana caught up with Dave to share how upset she was that Zach was gone. And then told us how safe she is, because she has surrounded Dave with people that are more loyal to her than him. And hot damn, is she actually playing an amazing game?
My love Jonathan returned for the reward challenge where they would each have to hold a spear over a tile using two handles pulled apart to maintain tension, with the last person standing winning the reward. And it was for an overnight spa reward complete with snacks and alcohol, so you know Queen Shonee needed this victory more than anyone else. Shocking me, Brooke was the first person to drop, followed closely by Tarzan and Jacqui. After fighting for another couple of minutes, Moana and Sharn dropped out of nowhere. After ten minutes, AK blanked and dropped out leaving David and Shonee to battle it out yet again. They continued to fight it out for over half an hour as Shonee offered to take Dave with her, should he want to offer her the same. After forty minutes and a cheeky readjustment, our queen dropped her spear and tragically lost reward. Oh and then David selected Sharn, Moana and Tarzan to join him, leaving her empty handed again.
Talk about rubbing salt in our icon’s wounds.
Back at camp however she didn’t pout and instead got to work rubbing it in Jacqui’s wounds instead, and vowed to use her time wisely to keep Jacqui onside. As they all joked about how stupid David is for not leaving Tarzan who they all know would never flip on him, Shonee decided to continue the charm offensive and gave Jacqui an island facial. After finishing the pampering, the group then decided that getting rid of Dave is – finally – their priority and as such, needed to identify the right people to flip. With Jacqui assuring them that Moana and Sharn would definitely be keen.
Speaking of Moana and Sharn, they were stumbling upon their reward with David and Tarzan as the group marvelled at their spoils. Including but not limited to, snacks, champagne and nail clippers, the latter being the most important win for David. Sharn pointed out how desperately Jacqui wanted to attend the reward and as such questioned whether he was playing the game smartly. David then showered and like me, Sharn couldn’t take her eyes off him and honestly, I have never related to her more. We then had a little pow wow with Dave, where he shared that his decision to exclude Jacqui isn’t stupid, given he knows he also can’t trust Sharn, however she is the one that is more likely to stay loyal if he keeps her close. And plus, Jacqui is a lost cause and leaving Sharn back at camp risks losing another ally. The newly scrubbed-up victors then sat around the fire and locked in a plan to blindside Jacqui and oh god, please keep Shonee safe.
The two groups reconvened and met Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would have to untangle themselves from a rope tangled over a pole, with the first five continuing on to the next stage where they need to walk through some obstacles while balancing a ball on a pole before landing it in a bucket of water. Three would then continue to solve a puzzle, with the winner snagging immunity. Queen Shonee’s challenge streak appeared to end, quickly getting tangled in her rope while Tarzan, Jacqui, Moana and AK pulled away. Ultimately Tarzan made his way to the second stage first, followed by Brooke, AK, Jacqui and David, eliminating Moana, Shonee and Sharn. AK and Brooke whipped through the second phase, getting to the bucket phase while David desperately tried to close the gap. Out of nowhere, Tarzan was the first to land his ball in the bucket, giving him a huge head start on the puzzle. He was soon joined by David and Brooke, eliminating AK and Jacqui. Oh and then David destroyed the puzzle, begging the question, did we know David was a puzzle king?
Back at camp David’s ego was at an all time high, proudly showing off his four immunities, only one of which was a fake. He quickly confirmed that he and his allies would all be blindsiding Jacqui, again missing the meaning of a blindside, given Jacqui is fully aware that she is on the bottom. Sharn pulled Jacqui aside to try and woo her back to the side, with David and Moana quickly joining as the group decided to target Shonee. Sadly for Jacqui however, they were just trying to get her to throw a vote on Shonee so that their four votes would be enough to get rid of Jacqui. Speaking of Jacqui, she went back to the Vakama trio and the four locked in their votes for Moana. Oh and then Jacqui disappeared and the group agreed that no matter what, they are sticking together and if it results in a tie, they will just have to go to rocks. In either a horrible or brilliant move, AK then decided to pull Sharn aside and tell her that the group is completely down to go for rocks, putting the fear in her head. And oh God, this may be brilliant, as Sharn is well and truly susceptible to being panicked into changing a plan.
At tribal council David spoke about feeling salty about the Zach vote, explaining that that is why he chose to leave Jacqui out of the reward. Jacqui pretended that she was over their drama, which led to AK, Brooke and Shonee jumping in one at a time to call out how terrible David’s decision was and that Jacqui is the only one tired of being a minion. Jacqui agreed that she wanted to find her voice in the game which led to Shonee pointing out that nobody in the rival alliance actually wants to take her to the end. Moana called bullshit on the comment, assuring Jacqui that she protects her and one emotional decision doesn’t change where she sits in the alliance. Tarzan wisely pointed out that if Jacqui jumps from one alliance to another, she goes from being on the bottom to being on the bottom.
Each side continued to push for Jacqui’s vote before talk turned to going to rocks, with AK, Shonee and Brooke all vowing to go to rocks, as at least it gives them a chance to take control. Sharn on the flipside was nervous and started to completely unravel, telling people to think things through before playing it fast and loose with their game. With that the tribe voted, David did some weird voicework and played an idol on Tarzan before the votes rolled in four each for Jacqui and Moana, proving to Jacqui that she was right to flip on her allies. Once again the tribe voted and once again, it came back a tie.
And hot damn, did that fill Sharn with dread. She quickly started to panic as Jonathan explained the rock draw rules – to the audience that don’t want original flavour Survivor – with the tribe given the chance to come to a consensus, and if they don’t, the players in the tie become immune with anyone else that is immune, and the rest go to rocks. Aka AK, Brooke, Shonee and Sharn. AK quickly rallied the girls and reminded them that the only way to guarantee a majority, with them all agreeing to go to rocks. This led to a desperate Sharn begging them to change their mind, assuring them that if they flip on Jacqui, she promises to align with them. She begged and pleaded with them for what felt like an eternity until Jonathan told them they needed to make a decision, with them ultimately choosing to trust Sharn and turn on Jacqui, sending her from the game.
It was heartbreaking to be reunited with Jacs at the Jury Villa, given she has spent the last few episodes being the only hope of stopping a steamroll. After peeling myself away from Locky, I pulled Jacs into my arms and told her how proud I am of the game she played and that while she is a juror, she landed there for trying something and that alone is something she should be proud of. Oh and then I whipped her up a Smoke Shacqui Patterson which honestly was her favourite part.
I’ve said it thousands of times but it bears repeating, burgers are the absolute best and well, Shack Shake is one of the ultimate makers. And well, the Smoke Shack is my fave – smoky, spicy and a little bit sweet, it is a dream. Like the one Jacqui is living out surrounded by three guys on the jury.
Enjoy!
Smoke Shacqui Patterson Serves: 4.
Ingredients ½ cup mayonnaise 1 tbsp dijon mustard ¾ tsp ketchup ½ tsp pickle brine pinch of cayenne pepper 500g beef mince 8 slices smoked bacon ¼ tsp salt ¼ tsp pepper 4 slices American cheese ⅓ cup cherry peppers, finely diced 4 potato buns
Method Start by combining the mayonnaise, dijon mustard, ketchup, pickle brine and the pinch of cayenne pepper in a bowl. Give a good stir, cover and chill while you prep the rest of the burgers. Ideally an hour or two if you have the time.
Meanwhile, scrunch the beef mince in a large bowl until the meat is starting to come together. Divide into four balls and roll tightly. Place on a lined plate, cover and pop in the fridge.
While the balls are cooling down, heat a large skillet of medium heat and once nice and hot, cook the bacon until crisp. Remove to a plate lined with paper towel and leave to reat.
Immediately take the burgers out of the fridge, place in the skillet and flatten to about one to two centimetre thickness with a metal spatula and sprinkle with a bit of salt and pepper. Cook for a couple of minutes before flipping, seasoning with the remaining salt and pepper and topping each with a slice of cheese. Cook for a further couple of minutes before removing from the heat.
To assemble, toast each of the burger buns in a skillet and smear the top and bottom with a little bit of the chilled sauce. Place the cheesy pattie on the base-bun, followed by some of the cherry peppers and closing.
Fame Hungry 