Sweets

Soa de Muesli Cookies

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in boobielicious Boobie Movie sequels in the vein of one of the best episodes of All Stars 2 featuring Thelma and Wheezy and the birth of doo-wa, but make it Barbie. But I’ve digressed. In record time. I mean, the first sentence! Everyone was kind of great this week, but Kween Kong dominated as the giant Jurassic Boobie and rightly took out her second win of the season. Then Ru had to split hairs, tragically going with Gala being overwhelmed by her look on the runway and Eva falling in and out of character as reason to be in the bottom. With the iconic Eva tragically going home.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to have lost Eva though Gala was thrilled to prove that she is a lip sync assassin on the global stage. But vowed to step it up this week to avoid showing those skills too often. Pythia meanwhile was heartbroken to be losing her besties week after week, which in turn breaks my heart because Pythia is the sweetest. Vanity spoke about how sure she was that she was going to lip sync because she is getting stuck further and further in her head. Kween sympathised about how hard that can be, sharing that she felt like that was her experience on her OG season. While Alyssa tried to give a pep talk about them being stars, as they remain while the room gets more spacious.

Oh and then Gala (almost) showed hole, which is important.

The next day the dolls were energised to slay another week, with Alyssa in particular thrilled to get out of the safe zone. Everyone congratulated Kween for getting her second win, before turning their attention to Gala’s survival. Thankfully she and Vanity were ready to rise from the bottom though, so all was right in the world. Or they are back in the bottom tonight. Talk turned to what this week’s challenge could be before Ru dropped by to put the girl’s through a little quick-drag flight mini challenge. With the make-up being done in the air, during a heavy bout of turbulence. And hot damn it was silly, fun and a solid reminder of the kind of challenges we enjoyed in the early years when there was an off season. That being said, there was allegedly a judging criteria somewhere and that handed Tessa the win. 

Ru asked the dolls to partner up with the sister they would like to have a drink with, leaving Nehellenia alone. Leaving her free to pick her throuple. Tessa and Alyssa formed one duo, with Kween and Gala, and Vanity and Soa the others, while Kitty and Pythia’s couple was joined by the aformentioned third, in the form of Nelly. Ru then explained that the pairings are important for this week’s maxi challenge as before the season, they were all asked to pack a suitcase of raw materials, which their partner would now be using to design a cocktail dress. So congratulations Tessa, because Alyssa’s supplies are going to be expensive. While Kween will be naked, given Gala loves to serve body and Kween has a lot of it.

After dropping that bomb, Ru exited and allowed the dolls to go through their new supplies. Soa was thrilled with Vanity’s golden fabric while Vanity was hoping the emerald green would be enough to get her rudemption. As predicted, Tessa was delighted by her luxe new materials while Alyssa was ready to break down looking at the scraps she inherited from Tessa. Literal scraps. Kween was excited that Gala actually pulled together a bunch of fabrics, looking forward to serving another design, given it is her bread and butter. While Gala was hoping to serve glamour with the lovely fabrics she inherited. Our throuple were a little more apprehensive as Nehellenia inherited two lycras from Kitty, along with a lace, much to her disgust. Kitty on the other hand was loving her suitcase from Pythia.

As they got to work on their looks, Soa grew more and more nervous about the process, though was hopeful there were enough terrible designers in the pack to help her scrape through one more time. Given Alyssa can’t sew, Tessa has questionable taste and Nehellenia was in tears over her fabrics and unable to focus. Kitty briefly checked in to see if she was ok, before flipping it and confronting her for being ungrateful for the multiple, expensive fabrics she inherited when other girls just got one option.

Before the fight could explode, Ru dropped by to kiki with Tessa continuing to delight in how well stocked Alyssa’s suitcase was and how she will be using it to her advantage. Alyssa meanwhile showed off her collection of scraps. Ru praised Alyssa for turning look after look each and every week, cautioning her to not be too boring with her design and oh Alyssa, you (may be) in danger girl. Soa meanwhile was going to glue, drape and hope for the best, Vanity was going rich-glam bow, Gala was going luxe whore and Kween was planning to serve Gala by way of Grace Jones. Nehellenia was still pressed about her fabric though her design looked exceptional, Kitty was planning to twin it with Ru and Pythia had essentially done her dress already and it looked incredible.

Oh and then Kitty handed Nehellenia a tagline in the form of ‘margherita pizza’, which delighted Ru to no end.

After Ru departed again, the dolls quickly buckled down to pull their dresses together. Which in Vanity’s case was just making it over and over again, as she kept changing her mind. Two-thirds of the throuple, on the other hand, were vibing, while Nehellenia was now battling with the sewing machine.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs with Gala ready to serve body-ody-ody, sharing that she would be padding today and trying something new. Soa meanwhile was lightening her make-up as Michelle requested, as Kween sweetly coached her how to work with the skin tone. Tessa was hoping her gown would finally get Alyssa to adopt her and if not, she would like an expensive meal to congratulate her on her win. Vanity meanwhile was spiralling, as she tried too many options the day before and was left with nothing more than scraps, so was literally working paper on to the new gown she was pulling together in the minutes before stepping on the runway.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the gorgeous Jasmine Tookes as Alyssa Edwards opened the 5 O’Clock Somewhere runway trying her best to enjoy her cheap fabric like only Katy Perry could. Alyssa’s words, which I co-sign. Tessa meanwhile was stunning, feeling all her oats and giving her best Alyssa. Soa’s dress lacked shape but hot damn, her make-up was stunning. Vanity somehow managed to pull the look together serving avant garde Poison Ivy, Kween served expensive frill neck lizard, Gala meanwhile looked like Alyssa Edwards doing Marilyn Monroe, Kitty was a silly delight, once again giving night on the town. Nehellenia looked lovely, though she herself hated everything about her ugly dress. While Pythia gave gilded glam and looked stunning, despite her wig not making much sense.

Alyssa, Kitty and Nehellenia were sent to safety before the judges lavished Tessa with all the praise for serving such a stunning look. And by Tessa, Alyssa’s fabrics. Soa’s softened mug was beloved, as was the colour, though she was read for the general shape of her gown. Vanity was praised for the concept, though read for the general execution as she opened up about struggling with her inner saboteur. Kween was praised for giving something different and finding a way to combine herself and Gala in the look. And getting her rudemption from Down Under. Gala meanwhile was praised for trying something different this week and while the dress wasn’t perfect, they lived for what she was trying to do. Oh and then Pythia was beloved, because she is Pythia. Again, despite the wig.

Backstage the safe dolls were delighted to be deemed as such, though Kitty didn’t waste any time throwing shade at Nehellenia for being so emotional. After clocking the tops, them and the bottoms joined the safe dolls with Tessa delighted by how much the judges lived for everything she served this week. Gala meanwhile was hopeful that she wasn’t the worst and ready to slide by, while Vanity was ready to lip sync and fight for another day. Kween asked her to try and relax and get out of her head so she could enjoy herself. Soa meanwhile knew she was in the bottom, though was so proud of how far she had come.

Ultimately it was Tessa that took out her first win of the season before Kween and Pythia were sent to safety. As was an extremely shocked Vanity, leaving Gala and Soa to lip sync to Jessie J, Ariana Grande and my girl Nicki’s Bang Bang. And let’s just say the assassins proved how they got their titles, giving their everything and hitting every lyric, feeling all the feels and flipping around the stage. Sadly for my sweet Soa, however, Gala proved herself unstoppable, giving all the anger and attitude, saving herself and sending Sia out of the competition.

As is oft the case, it didn’t take Soa to find me backstage. All she had to do was follow my guttural, wailing cries, as I desperately tried to figure out why such a bright star like Soa was sent home early. She pulled me in for a massive hug and assured me that she loves Kween, Kitty and Alyssa, so doesn’t want me to hold it against them that Ru may be appearing to play favourites with her girls. I continued to sob for a minimum of four hours before finally telling Soa how proud of her I am, for pushing herself and showing the world just how talented she is. And while that isn’t a crown, there is a form of win in there somewhere. And if we don’t count that, we can always count the delicious batch of Soa de Muesli Cookies.

There is nothing more delicious that a muesli cookie. I mean, yeah, chocolates and cornflakes and nuts all make delightful fillings, but the simplicity of dates, oats, coconut and raisin are their own wholesome form of fun.

Enjoy!

Soa de Muesli Cookies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
100g pitted dates, roughly chopped
⅓ cup boiling water
1 egg
2 tbsp honey
¼ cup coconut oil, melted
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 ¼ cups rolled oats
½ cup flaked almonds
⅓ cup desiccated coconut
½ cup sultanas
¾ cup almond meal
½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.

Pop the dates in a bowl and pour over the boiling water and leave to soak for ten minutes. Once nice and soft, mash with a fork to form a paste before mixing in the egg, honey, coconut oil and vanilla.

When the wet ingredients are combined, fold in the oats, almonds, coconut, sultanas, almond meal, baking powder and cinnamon to form a thick batter.

Divide the batter into 8, rolls into balls and flatten on the lined baking sheet to form thick mounds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.

Remove from the oven and leave to cool on the tray for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. And then devour.


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Lemon Crisps

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

While Ru has expanded his reach across the globe, jetting Down Under and across the pond to the UK for local versions of Drag Race, that world domination is not enough. No, no – this time, Ru is taking it to the world, assembling a cast of iconic All Stars from across the globe in sunny old England for the chance to become the first Global Drag Race Superstar. Queen of the World, or something of that ilk, you know?

First to return to the UK Mainstage – literally – was one Ms. Baga Chipz, serving people’s princess realness and reminding us how great she did on Season 1 despite how annoying her confidence can come across. She was quickly joined by her fellow Frock Destroyer Blu Hydrangea who was looking like an exploded highlighter and ugh, I loved her Mary Berry Snatch Game so damn much. And in contrast to Baga, I am living for her newfound confidence. Blu congratulated Baga on not looking like a mess this time and while they were thrilled to be in each other’s company, they were soon delighted to be joined by their Essex sister Cheryl Hole. Thankfully vowing to be mediocre through and through.

They briefly started speculating about their international sisters before zaddy Janey Jacké arrived representing Holland and ugh, she is such a damn serve. I love her so much. The UK trio welcomed her with open arms and ugh, this congeniality is so glorious. The quartet were joined by Canada’s drag clown Jimbo, giving the kids a toastie – literally – and just being demented, and well, I’m already in love with this season. Particularly since Jimbo reminded us that Michelle was the guest judge when she went home and she is more than willing to confront her. But enough about that, Lemon is back and well, I look forward to her channeling Jojo Siwa at every opportunity.

Things took a massive turn as Pangina Heals the HOST of Thailand arrived to represent her country and ugh, she is perfection. And more importantly, she is such a damn superfan and looks ready to slay and have the best time. Oh and did we know Thailand lights contestants on fire? Beause slay! While the girls were gagged to be competing against a host, Cheryl was just glad to see someone else that hasn’t won a challenge. Yet. Next up was the ICONIC Monique Heart and well, she was feeling her oats as much as I feel her oats. While Blu shaded her for competing for the third time, Monique quickly mocked her for losing and wearing a glowstick. Before it could descend into chaotic fighting, Jujubee arrived to round out the cast and I don’t care how often they bring her back because she is the best.

I mean, can’t she just be the Tim Gunn/Christian Siriano in every Werk Room globally? Where do I start THAT petition?

After a brief getting to know you, a siren sounded before Ru arrived on a cherry picker to welcome them all into the competition. She then announced that this year, the winner would not only claim the crown but also get to record a duet with her, the one and only Ruple Charles. But first, they would have to show off their talent in a Royal Command Performance and then, Ru warned them, they would be the ones to eliminate their sisters.

With that out of the way, the dolls exited the mainstage and headed back to the Werk Room to claim stations and de-drag. More importantly, Cheryl was adorably showing Pangina her station from Season 1 as Baga and Jimbo were clowning up, breaking the room and claiming a corner together. Meanwhile the US girls were busy reading everyone for filth and ugh, this chaos makes me so happy. Not to be outdone, Blu was talking to Cheryl about how the US girls really changed the vibe of the room while poor Chez just wanted everyone to get along. Thankfully Baga decided to do some diplomacy, brewing tea for her sisters and teaching the international girls all of the local slang and explaining important things like the tube or Prince Andrew and pizza shops.

Elimination Day arrived with the girls quickly splitting up to get ready with Jimbo finding a toastie on her shoulder while Cheryl and Janey were just excited to get things started. Blu meanwhile approached Monique to explain that they met before Blu got famous and she was quite rude to her, with Monique quickly apologising to try and smooth things over. Janey and Pangina were meanwhile worried about being the sole representative of their countries, with Pangina trying to put it out of her mind and just do herself proud. More importantly, she is able to take criticism as well as she takes penis, which is something I’d get put on a T-shirt if I would gracefully take criticism.

Cheryl, Lemon and Juju were bonding in another corner, with the latter explaining this time feels different for her and despite it being her fourth time, she is still nervous. Chez was just grateful to now have them as her friends before talk turned to Jimbo and Lemon’s bond ,with Lemon confessing they aren’t actually close. Chez promised them that despite the competition being hosted in the UK there isn’t a hierarchy. While Juju reminded her she isn’t bothered because it has been UK vs the World for centuries.

And ugh, what. A. Read. Give Juju a damn crown!

Talk turned to the local drag scenes, with everyone pointing out UK is all about comedy while Canada is eclectic and Holland is straight up fierce. Oh and I stopped listening because Pangina’s friend owns a shrimp farm and then she explained that they don’t eat their shrimp on account of it being bad luck. Which is probably the greatest sentence I’ve ever read.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by the one and only Melanie C aka Sporty mother-tucking Spice on the judges panel before Lemon opened the show performing an original song. It was high energy and ridiculous as she kicked and flipped herself around the stage before finishing with a slightly taller version of the ‘is she gonna jump from there moment’. And IT was ICONIC. Monique was serving a red leather clad love child of Tina Turner and Prince and ugh, perfection. She IS the moment, let me tell you. Brown cow, stunning.

Janey gave a lip sync number complete with multiple reveals and while I live for her, the first few looks were not great. The entire performance led to Baga deeming it a glorified strip show. Speaking of Baga she performed her song Much Betta when I think she was actually meant to lip sync, but God was it ridiculous and entertaining despite the fuck-ups. Speaking of ridiculous, Jimbo came out as a pregnant alien ghost with an empty briefcase of talent before birthing slices of devon and throwing them everywhere. It was demented, crazy and completely hilarious, having everyone in stitches. Except Cheryl who was just confused. Which was also an understandable reaction.

Cheryl was classic Chez, slaying as she lip synced to her hilarious song, hitting every moment and serving as she finished with a death drop. Jujubee then sang a ballad and while it was decent, I just kept waiting for an iconic ‘sensible 74’ moment. Pangina meanwhile dominated from start to finish, giving comedy and narrative and the sharpest dancing I’ve ever seen on the mainstage. Blu then did a cheer routine to her original song complete with a duo of mannequin dancers tethered to her arms and legs and it was a totally stupid pop delight. I mean, she offered to blow Ru and read her mannequin sister for stepping on her toes. Perfection!

On the I’m a Winner Baby Runway Lemon was a grown-up version of her baby pageant girl from Canada Season 1, looking as golden as her gown. Monique was gorgeous in a lush green gown while Janey was perfection in a sparkling, red nude illusion. Baga meanwhile was a literal Oscar and while it was scary, she sold it. Speaking of scary, Jimbo was the scariest black and white queen and it was completely stunning. Chez meanwhile popped some gold stars on a white gown and while it was basic, she gave us a perfect mug and an absolutely massive bouffant. Juju gave a generic beaded purple pageant gown while Pangina stole the show in a shimmering white Thai inspired gown. And it. Was. Stunning. Before Blu came out looking like a licorice all sort that she described as a BDSM troll that just fucked a highlighter which is truly the only way to describe it.

Ru then announced that this season, the rules will revert to the All Stars 2-through-4 format where the top 2 will lip sync for the win and the right to eliminate one of the the bottom queens. Monique, Cheryl and Jujubee were quickly sent to safety before the judges praised Lemon for opening the show so strongly, though Mel C would have loved for her to serve more face as she looked bored. With the runway, Michelle wished she had just taken things further. Janey received universal praise for her runway though the judges felt her talent was a bit subpar. The judges lived for Baga’s comedy leading to Mel C serving some epic shade against Vicky B’s vocals and Baga’s terrible lip syncing skills. While they were just all super confused by her runway.

They loved everything Jimbo served, particularly for giving the most bizarre and unique talent of all time. And a perfect runway. Then came Pangina, who rightly had the judges living for everything she did from being vulnerable and open, to showing she is SO damn talented. Blu too received all praise, with the judges thrilled by how filthy she is. That being said, they felt her runway didn’t make sense for the theme, though Mel threw shade at Geri which truly does make me feel much betta!

Ultimately Jimbo and Pangina were deemed the top two before Baga and Blu were sent to safety, leaving Lemon and Janey in danger. Backstage Jimbo and Pangina giddily grabbed a drink before the queens gathered around to congratulate them before Pangina thanked Cheryl for not being as annoying as she thought she was on TV. Lol. While Pangina was thrilled to prove herself, Jimbo was just happy to get to clown in front of Ru and have the time of her life. Chez praised Lemon for killing the performance before Lemon opened up about how disappointed she was to land in the bottom, particularly since she was in the bottom in the first episode of her original season. 

While Lemon was heartbroken, Janey was steady and accepted that the competition is so tight that it is truly just nit picking. The dolls split up to plead their case with Jimbo praising Lemon for doing a good job though admitted that she has to hear out Janey and can’t just tell her she is going to save her, even if she wanted to. Pangina and Janey continued to bond and despite Pangina feeling the reveals were quite boring, Janey was confident in the fact she gave something original while Lemon didn’t.

As the rest of the girls jokingly speculated who each winner would send home since the duos were obvious. When Pangina caught up with Lemon, the latter reiterated how much she wants to stay in the competition. Pangina congratulated her for killing her performance and assured her that friendships will not play into her decision making. While Jimbo monologued about her options as poor Janey just desperately tried to get a word in.

After Pangina and Jimbo selected their lipsticks, they made their way to the mainstage to lip sync to Say You Will Be There by the Spice Goils. And damn, Pangina is a star. She hit the lyrics, she gave high energy choreography, comedy and literally saved Jimbo from falling over mid-performance. Multiple times. It was, in a word, amazing. Particularly since Jimbo was hilariously just wandering the stage like a drunk aunt at a wedding, tripping over everywhere. While I lived for Jimbo, it was well and truly clear that Pangina deserved her victory. And while she didn’t want to have to make the decision, heavy is the head that wears the crown and as such, poor Lemon was booted from the competition.

Backstage I reminded Lemon that she is such a damn icon, that when it comes to All Stars it often is better to get eliminated as a robbed-queen before you end up becoming the villain. As such, I tied up my hairwa and pulled her into the kitchen to toast her enduring success – and iconically short run – with a big batch of Lemon Crisps.

While I wouldn’t call Lemon Crisps the most iconic biscuit of the Arnott’s range, they too still have a place in her heart. Packing a zesty punch, these little copycats are the perfect way to work through your sadness and/or eat your feelings.

Enjoy!

Lemon Crisps
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
185g butter, softened
½ cup raw caster sugar
1 egg, at room temperature
½ tsp vanilla essence
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 cup icing sugar

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Cream 125g of the butter with the caster sugar on medium speed, or until light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla and mix for a further minute, or until combined. Remove from the stand mixer and fold through the flour, baking powder and lemon zest until a dough forms. Form a rectangular slab, wrap in cling and transfer to the fridge for half an hour.

Once the dough is super chill, get it out and roll into a 5mm rectangular slab. Cut into 10cmx4cm rectangles, prick each rectangle with a fork and transfer them all to a lined baking sheet. Pop the baking sheet/s into the oven and cook for 10-15 minutes, or until lightly browned and crisp. Remove from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool.

As they are cooling down, beat the icing sugar and remaining butter until smooth and fluffy. Add the lemon juice and beat until combined, adding extra sugar should it start to split.

Once the biscuits have cooled, pipe the icing on to half the biscuits and use the other half to close. Then devour, ignoring the fact you’re a first boot and remembering you’re an icon.


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Seipeppermint Crishugane

Dessert, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa Dante was feeling all alone after losing his bestie Meryl, while Nicole managed to overcome voting out Rob’s boyfie Nathan, with Rob – who tragically isn’t rocking a speedo – welcoming her into the spitshake second which isn’t as hot as it sounds. Dante tried to make inroads after securing reward with Mmaba, Geoffrey and Durao, while Jacques was sent to the Island of Secrets to collect his latest advantage, a reward steal. Rob snagged immunity – wearing shorts – with speedo loving Zadante deciding to try and convince his new allies to vote out Nicole, unaware that they were all loyal to her. Meanwhile the spitshake seven decided to target Geoffrey, putting Mike in the middle of his old and new alliances, opting to put his faith in the spit crew and vote Geoffrey from the game.

The next day the tribe were forced into bonding with each other in the shelter due to the constant rain, while Mmaba silently broke down over the thought of Geoffrey being blindsided by their former ally Mike. Seipei and Rob braved the rain to discuss the current lay of the land, identifying Dante as the next person to go. Seipei was hopeful of pulling Mmaba in as a number to get rid of Nicole and Steffi, so that Seipei, Rob and Jacques can go to the final three. This made Rob nervous, as she was so willing to break their alliance and then decided that Seipei was the puppetmaster Nicole was warning them about last tribal. Which I’m fairly certain she wasn’t, though it does fit. So, you know, whatever?

Jacques appeared in camp carrying a big sack and advised that they were each required to pick a block and that the losers with white blocks would go to the Island of Secrets immediately, while the other colours would decide their team at the upcoming reward. Every stuck their hand deep in the sack with Cobus and Nicole discovering that they would be going to the Island of Secrets, while the rest of the tribe would be competing for reward and immunity. Nicole and Cobus arrived at the Island to discover that they would be the ones competing for immunity, while the others would only be fighting for reward. They discovered that they would be dueling with a shape puzzle, with Zaddy Cobus making quick work of things and snatching immunity and my heart. I mean, I have been resting on how down hot he is.

Again, the SA boys are really on point this season.

Speaking of on point men, the rest of the tribe arrived to meet Nico in a clearing where they are still competing for immunity. Three necklaces in fact, meaning four people will soon be immune and holy shit, please don’t screw Seipei or Laetitia. Anyway the challenge involved the teams releasing puzzle pieces, one at a time, run them through obstacles to a giant wall when they use the symbols to solve a suduko-esque puzzle. In addition it was for wine and pizza and honestly, they’re lucky I didn’t run in and snatch it from their damn hands. Dante got the yellow team of him Mike and Jacques to an early lead, with Steffi, Rob and Laetitia nipping at their heels while Mmaba, Durao and Seipei languished in last. Yellow continued to extend their lead and while I’d love to pretend something exciting happened, they snatched immunity without breaking a damn sweat.

The boys arrived at their reward, giddy at the sight of the pasta mountains before starting to talk strategy. While Mike was a fan of Dante, he sadly didn’t see any way that he could use Dante to get rid of someone from the spit shake alliance. They then went to look out over a giant waterfall and celebrate like drunk woo-girls. Back at camp the remaining tribe members were miserable, while Steffi tried to convince everyone to kill a chicken and feast before the guys returned from reward. She then didn’t want to commit to her decision, driving Seipei mental, until Durao just stepped in and said that they would eat. Which Laetitia noticed.

While the tribe got to work prepping the feast, Seipei pulled Rob aside to discuss getting rid of Laetitia at the upcoming vote and granting her wish. Or Mmaba. Or Durao. Pretty much everyone that isn’t immune outside of Steffi and Nicole. Eventually they settled on a split vote between Mmaba and Laetitia, and why do I feel like shit is about to hit the fan. Back at camp Steffi wanted to crack a coconut on top of their chicken, which pissed of Seipei while back at the well, Rob and Durao discussed Seipei’s plan, and instead identified her as the biggest threat that needs to be dealt with. Given she is dominating the game and is so damn likeable.

Back at the Island of Secrets Cobus and Nicole were discussing strategy, with Nicole identifying him as one of the smartest in the game and the best person to utilise to break the seven when it comes to it. He assured her that he wants the final four to be powerhouses like them, leading to Nicole sharing the information about Seipei’s half idol to test his trust. Though sadly it only made him sure that Seipei needs to be the next to go. Meanwhile Rob was back at camp pulling in his army to take out Seipei, quickly getting Steffi on board after sharing that Seipei plans to get rid of her down the track. While they felt confident that they had the numbers to pull off the move, they worried that making such a big move was too soon and would stop Jacques from ever working with them again. Oh and they decided to ask for the half idol back from her before blindsided her, which makes me sad.

The victors returned to camp with Jacques making a beeline for Seipei and Rob to see who they were planning to blindside with Dante immune. Seipei continued to push hard for Laetitia to go over Mmaba, which only mad Rob more sure of his plan to get rid of her. And given her growing confidence, I am not feeling good.

The next day Rob started working on Laetitia, who was keen to join him and honestly, they can’t make it this obvious. Can they? Rob approached Jacques to assure him that Mmaba is the next to go, with Jacques not really seeming like he trusts him, though confident that it is a bad idea to rock the boat already. Meanwhile at the well Dante and Durao caught up to discuss their status as periphery players, with Dante deciding that it is in their best interests to go together and take control of the tribe for themselves. Sadly Zadante – who looks really good this episode – pushed quite hard and I’m fairly certain that is not the way to convince Durao to get on board. Dante approached Mmaba who was keen to join him, until he got to Mike and suggested that they target Rob which we know is not something that Mike or Durao will be on board with. Dante and Mike then walked away, leaving Durao to suggest to Mmaba that they go for Seipei instead as that is the person that more people will be willing to get rid of.

Mike and Rob caught up by the shore, with Rob pointing out that Seipei was the head of the snake that Nico referred to at tribal council with Mike thrilled to jump on board. He then approached Mmaba and Dante – who surprisingly was not keen, assuming that he will play an idol to save himself – while Rob approached Durao and everyone giggled at the thought of Queen Seipei being the victim of a brutal blindside. Cobus and Nicole returned to camp to discover that four people are immune at the next tribal council, with Nicole assuming Mmaba was the next to go. She then caught up with Rob by the well and discovered that the entire tribe had decided to get rid of Seipei. They then got to work formulating a plan to snatch back the half idol that Seipei is holding with Queen Seipei suggesting that Rob holds both halves for the former Sa’ula, handing it over before he handed it on to Nicole to claim as her own.

At tribal council Dante was thrilled to be wearing immunity and living to fight another day, while Rob pretended that he was feeling a little bit nervous, though pointing out that the tribe is unified and his alliance is strong. Mmaba lamented or pretended that shs is sadly in the minority, while poor Jacques went on an elaborate lion vs. zebra tangent, unaware of the massive plot that the tribe worked on to take out his closest ally. Durao countered that the zebras are smart enough to try and direct the lions, while Laetitia and Mmaba spoke about new targets popping up every day. Seipei spoke about her confidence in her allies, with Rob playing along and saying that his majestic alliance are all on the same page, so it is a group decision and nobody is truly in charge. Steffi started to smirk about the upcoming vote before trying to dance around Nico’s needling with a fruit analogy which is honestly more confusing than Jericho’s cat story. Jacques tried to turn the conversation back to the savannah and said that the alliance shouldn’t double up on attributes and Dante advised that people shouldn’t wait for things to fall into their laps.

With that the tribe voted and turns out, the obvious thing actually happened as Queen Seipei was sent packing. Much to her and Jacques’ shock, and my boiling rage. I mean, I get why they targeted her, but I loved the damn Queen and couldn’t stop myself from screaming a steady stream of expletives as she walked into my arms. Given she is such an icon, she focused on calming me down and took me into the kitchen to grab some of the Seipeppermint Crishugane I had just made in her honour.

Peppermint crisps tragically disappeared from our supermarkets a few years ago and my heart has been heavy ever since – kinda like the coffee scroll sitch, you know? Well, until I learnt to make my own. Crispy, crunchy peppermint, coated in glorious chocolate – there is nothing better.

Enjoy!

Seipeppermint Crishugane
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
butter
2 cups raw caster sugar
1 cup glucose
2 tsp peppermint extract
½ tsp vanilla extract
¼ tsp green food coloring
200g milk chocolate

Method
Line a baking sheet with baking paper and grease with a slick of butter.

Combine the sugar and glucose in a large heavy-bottomed saucepan and bring to the boil, and cook for a couple of minutes, or until the sugar has completely dissolved. Cook, stirring to avoid any bubble overs, until it reaches 150°C on a candy thermometer. Aka the hard-crack stage.

Remove from the heat, stir in both extracts and food colouring. Pour onto the baking sheet and leave to cool completely before cutting into pieces.

Melt the chocolate in a double boiler and dip the peppermint in to coat. Transfer to a lined baking sheet until set.

And then devour.


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Paulnapple Wupside Downs Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Four and Three and Two and Done: A Farewell to Broad City, Snack, Sweets

After catching up with Abbi, Arturo, Hannibal and John, I am almost coming around to the idea that Broad City is coming to an end tomorrow, despite the fact it breaks my heart. Thankfully I am trying to focus on the positives, like Abbi doing Ilana at the co-op, Jaime becoming a citizen, Lincoln being Lincoln, Bevers literally being the worst and the discovery of Trey’s past as Kirk Steele. And damn did it make me fall even harder for my dear Paul W. Downs.

Like Abbi I started of hating Trey and episode by episode fell in love with him, which comes down to the comedic work and total charm of Paul.

While I didn’t meet him until Broad City, we fast became friends and I’m honoured that he came to me for advice on how to block the Kirk Steele scenes. While my infatuation made our friendship awkward for a brief period, I am thrilled that I was able to cool down and he never let it get in the way of our bond.

Paul being the absolute best, he arrived at my door with the inflatable pool toy and a visor and told me how grateful he was to be celebrating the show, and how much he wanted me … to have the props.

I mean, can you believe? He is a sweet angel. Just like my Paulnapple Wupside Downs Cake.

 

 

TBH I have always looked at this cake as kitsch krap, but somehow it defies my expectations and further proves that the ‘80s get a lot of unnecessary hate. A sweet and tart top, with melt in your mouth fluffy sponge, there is nothing better to while away an afternoon with a dear friend.

Enjoy!

 

 

Paulnapple Wupside Downs Cake
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
¾ cup unsalted butter
½ cup muscovado sugar
8 canned pineapple rings, juice, reserving ½ cup for the cake
12 maraschino cherries
1 ½ cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
1 cup raw caster sugar
2 eggs

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and spray the base of a 23cm cake pan with cooking spray.

Combine ¼ of a cup of butter with the muscovado in a saucepan and cook over medium heat until combined and slightly darkened. Remove from heat and pour directly into the cake tin.

Arrange the pineapple rings in the caramel and dot the maraschino cherries as artfully as you desire. Set aside.

Meanwhile whisk the dry ingredients together in a bowl, and cream the remaining butter and raw caster sugar in a stand mixer until light and fluffy. Agg one egg at a time, beat well after each addition. Add the dry ingredients and pineapple juice in thirds, alternating between each until it is well combined.

Spoon the batter over the fruit and gently smooth the top, being careful not to move or break the fruit. Transfer the cake to the oven to cook for 45 minutes, or until golden brown and an inserted skewer comes out clean.

Leave the cake to cool for ten minutes before flipping onto a serving plate … and devouring like it is Kirk Steele.

 

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Stickeith Date Sowell Pudding

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Edge of Extinction, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Aubry and Joe were on the outs at Kama given the penchant of returning players to dominate in seasons with newbies. Unless of course they’re up against a trio of queens in the form of Danni, Sophie and Denise. At Manu Kelley and David were feeling a reprieve given Reem and Wendy callously tried to teach Keith to swim – and in turn help the tribe in challenges – moving the target on to them. As such, it was poor Reem that found herself becoming the first person voted out … and electing to go to the Island of Extinction.

We opened up with poor Reem who was bored and confused, unsure where she is and what she will have to do for her shot back into the game. No timeline and no instructions truly are the cruelest mindfuck and I already feel less angry about the twist. Though it was super hard watching Reem break down over how hard it was sitting isolated on a desolate island thinking about everything she left behind.

Meanwhile at Manu the tribe were laughing it up comparing their wrinkly hands before Wendy explained to Rick, and sadly David, about wanting to take out Kelley given she has had two shots. And she believes is the ringleader that has sent her to the bottom of the totem pole. While Kelley was befriended everyone else, Wendy’s words started to penetrate David and Rick as Wentworth’s power appeared to grow. Kelley was understanding of her position, given she spent most of Second Chances on the bottom – that Savage blindside though – and knew how dangerous it was to her game, so suggested the tribe went on a group idol hunt to mitigate the risk of Wendy finding one.

We jumped over to Kama where I shit you not, Ron was leading the tribe in some choreography which truly highlighted the need to get Alyssa Edwards on this show in full drag ASAP. Everyone was enjoying his high energy, except for zaddy Eric who was MIA and Aubry who wasn’t enjoying the kumbaya nature of a tribe that has not gone to tribal. But hold her drink, because she is about to approach the newbies one by one to find out how they feel about returning players which no one was interested in talking about. Proving the fact that they are totally screwed. Victoria, Ron and Julia swapped stories by the shore and realised that everyone has been told the same thing and as such, Victoria wants her out yesterday.

Over at Manu Kelley and Lauren were searching for an idol, while Rick and David speculated that the group hunt plan is the perfect may to hide the fact that idol-whisperer Kelley has one. They agreed that they were happy working with Kelley at the moment, but David knows that Kelley won’t let him get to the merge and as such, it isn’t the worst idea to join with Wendy who has zero allies and will be loyal. Wendy rejoined them to reiterate her pitch and point out her vote last week proved her loyalty to an ally, and with her gone, that is up for grabs.

Oh and Rick and David are all in and I kinda love it. And the fact that David is in the best position of the returnees, despite being the weakest.

Back at Kama Gavin and Eric commenced the idol hunting on their tribe, and damn, I got distracted by Eric. Zeric. Zadderic? Eraddy? Anyway this didn’t go unnoticed by Julie, who channeled Angelina and highlighted that men always find idols, while women don’t. While it was super confusing that she complained about not looking for idols instead of doing it, I do love that it was low-key pushing a women’s alliance with Victoria. I also love that she is as clueless about hunter-gatherer roles as I am.

Speaking of idols, Lauren was still searching over on Manu and followed in the footsteps of her heroes Wentworth and Parvati and found said idol. And proved that a guaranteed way to not find an idol is not looking for an idol.

My dear Probst returned to the fray for this week’s immunity challenge – a Game Changers classic – where the tribes were required to swim out to a cage, climb over it, release a big, fat snake, take it back to shore, release numbered tiles to solve a combination and release rings that they need to land on paddles to spell immunity. I think, I focused on snakes and rings. Given Keith wasn’t given enough time to learn to swim, Kama got out to a huge lead while Chris desperately tried to help him along. Keith also struggled with climbing as damn, Chris’ wet jocks look good. Despite it looking like it was going to be a blowout, Manu closed the gap as Keith rolled around in the sand. Both tribes were neck and neck as Joe and Keith tossed rings and sorry, distracted again. Despite a brief interlude of Keith showing that he couldn’t throw, Chris desperately tried to snatch victory to no avail, as Kama once again won immunity.

And Aubry reversed the curse. If that’s allowed without Ghost Island? I don’t know.

Back at camp the Kelley vs. Wendy war started to heat up, while Wardog – still a thing – suggested that Keith’s failure should be making him their number one target. He pushed that plan with Lauren, Kelley and Rick, which Kelley was not into as he is a threat to no one and Wendy is a threat to her, so needs to go. David too was disappointed, though because the plan to take out Kelley would have to be put on hold. Poor Chris also wasn’t loving the plan given he had apparently formed a close bond with him and didn’t want to lose his loyal idol.

Chris approached Rick to float the idea of getting rid of Kelley, which Rick was obviously thrilled about given that has been his goal the entire episode. He took the tea back to David, who was thrilled at how things were shaping up and to get the chance to get her before she gets him. They roped in Keith, who was obvi keen, before Wardog single handedly shut down the plan, convincing Chris that keeping Kelley would be the perfect meat shield should they get screwed by a swap. He then channeled Cirie and pointed out that keep goats around means it could take their spot, so they need to get him out before they realise he is an easy win. Kelley approached Chris and Wardog, and immediately knew something was up and rightly worried that she was about to be voted out.

At tribal council Wendy and Kelley admitted to being nervous after getting votes at the previous tribal council, as Kelley elaborated that being a returning player is a blessing and a curse. She then reiterated that she would be a perfect shield and is strong enough to help them win challenges, which is pretty much her only play. Probst shaded Keith’s challenge performance, with him obviously trying to point out good relationships mean more. But given they’re two-nil, I’d find it hard not to focus on strength since they’ll keep coming back and lose numbers – and potentially find themselves out – should they not think about it. Wardog was hopeful that a blindside may be coming, and after the vote, he will know whether he has placed his trust with the right people. David agreed a blindside is coming, which Keith agreed with because everyone ran the numbers and should be confident heading in to tribal.

Talk turned to ticking off the checklist of the Survivor experience, which blindsides are a part of while Wardog cautioned everyone that focus on a checklist rather than rational gameplay isn’t a great move. And just like that, I’m ok with calling him Wardog again. With that the tribe voted and they piled up on Keith who they either really did a number on convincing him he was safe, or was desperately playing for the camera as he walked out of the tribal council. And played for the back of the theatre as he deliberated over going to the Island of Extinction. Which, spoiler alert, he obviously does but not before a verbal beatdown from me telling him to cut the theatrics and a big bowl of Stickeith Date Sowell Pudding.

 

 

Sticky date pudding would have to be one of my favourite desserts. Light and fluffy yet rich and sticky, it melts in your mouth and fills you with joy. Add in some ice cream and well, consider my shorts creamed themselves.

Enjoy!

 

 

Stickeith Date Sowell Pudding
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
250g pitted dates, chopped
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
185g butter, softened
2 cups muscovado sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 ¾ cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
300ml thickened cream

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and line the base of a 22cm cake pan.

Combine the dates and bicarb in a bowl with 1 ½ cups boiling water and leave to steep for half an hour.

Once the dates are foamy and glorious, cream 125g of the butter, 1 cup of the sugar and 2 tsp vanilla in a stand mixer on medium. Once it’s light and fluffy, beat in the eggs one at a time until well combined before removing and folding through the date mixture, flour and baking powder.

Spoon in the pan and bake for 45 minutes, or until lightly browned and an inserted skewer comes out clean. Allow to rest while you make the sauce.

Speaking of which, combine the remaining sugar, vanilla, butter and cream in a saucepan over medium heat. Cook, stirring, until sauce comes to the boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes.

Invert pudding onto a serving plate and stab wildly with a skewer. Slowly pour over ½-1 cup of sauce, allowing it to soak in but not flow over the edge. Leave to rest for 15 minutes before serving, slathered in more sauce and a generous heap of Vanilla Ice Cream.

 

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Choc Berry Muffins

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Grammy Gold, Grammy Gold: Somebody That I Used to Gold, Snack, Sweets

It has been an extremely busy week celebrating this year’s Grammys with my annual Grammy Gold parties, but as usual, I always push through. Or get by with a little help from my friends, so to speak. And Somebody That I Used to Gold would have been nothing without the love and support of my dear friends Lady Gaga, ONJ, Trey, Tina, Kandi and today, the late, great Chuck Berry.

Given I already had the delorean out to visit Kandi, I decided I should take it out for another spin and seeing Chuck again was high on my list of priorities.

I met Chuck in the ‘40s while studying to become beauticians at the Poro College of Cosmetology. While I wasn’t very good, my boy Chuck was a bloody star and so I quickly helped him rise in the industry. Until I heard his dulcet tones and realised that making him a singing star would be far more beneficial to my bank account.

While in the car, I started pondering about the major Grammy categories that I still needed to run the odds for. Obviously I am backing This is America for Song of the Year, however my gut – or indigestion – is telling me that movies are going to dominate the other two, With Black Panther snagging Album of the Year and Shallow getting Record of the Year, though This is America truly deserves the double.

With that out of the way, I arrived back in the ‘80s to help celebrate his Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award and boy was it an absolute thing of beauty. His kind, talented soul, and my Choc Berry Muffins, obvi.

 

 

Tart berries and gooey chocolate are quite possibly my favourite flavour combination. Add them into some pillowy cake, and I am in heaven. Heaven I tells, ya! Like my dear friend Chuck, may he rest in peace.

Enjoy!

 

 

Choc Berry Muffins
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
75g unsalted butter
200g plain flour
½ tsp bicarb of soda
2 tsp baking powder
75g raw caster sugar
200ml buttermilk
1 egg
100g blueberries
100g raspberries
200g milk chocolate, cut into rough chunks

Method
Preheat oven to 160C and line a six-hole Texan muffin pan.

Melt the butter and leave to cool slightly.

Combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl, and whisk the buttermilk and egg with the melted butter. Fold together with a wooden spoon until just combined before folding through the berries and chocolate.

Divide the batter between the holes and bake in the oven for 30 minutes, or until risen cooked through and golden.

Allow to cool slightly, though making sure they’re still warm enough for the chocolate to be gooey. When you devour.

 

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Kandi Cane Burruss

Dessert, Grammy Gold, Grammy Gold: Somebody That I Used to Gold, Snack, Sweets

The Grammys are so close that I can almost smell their breath – they believe in mints though, so I like it – and while I’m sad That Somebody That I Used to Gold is almost over, getting to see my dear friend Kandi Burruss sure does dull the pain.

Now I know what you’re thinking – how did you catch up with Kandi, since she is still in the Celebrity Big Brother house? Obviously the answer is time-travel, so let’s not focus on that, ok?

I’ve known Kandi for years after meeting in High School. While she was a star in front of the screen, as her dearest friend – and the OG Don Juan, I’ll have you know – I shone by designing all their outfits and choreographing their BET Teen Summit performance.

Yep – I was pretty much this Tina Knowles of Xscape. Don’t tell Mama Joyce.

Anyway now I feel like I should explain why exactly I’ve got Kandi running the odds for Best Alternative Music Album and Best New Artist. You see, I assumed another nameless artist had won a Grammy, turned up at their house and then, when trying to steal it from her bathroom, discovered she in fact had never won a Grammy.

That led to me jumping in the delorean and quickly back-tracking a couple of months to see my girl Kandi, who agrees that Beck will win Best Alternative Album and Dua Lipa will take out New Artist. I then awkwardly rummaged through my bag and discovered I was in the possession of some Kandi Cane Burruss, and pretended that the visit had been planned all along.

 

 

Even if she knew that my seasonal snack was inappropriate for the visit, she didn’t say because Kandi is literally the nicest person in the world and I am so damn lucky to have her as my friend. And I’m also lucky to have found a recipe for candy canes online, because there is nothing better than homemade.

Enjoy!

 

 

Kandi Cane Burruss
Serves: 2-12.

Ingredients
3 cups caster sugar
1 cup glucose syrup
¼ cup water
2 tsp peppermint extract
red gel food coloring, to taste
white gel food coloring, to taste

Method
Preheat oven to 100C.

Place the sugar, glucose and water in a large saucepan and cook over low heat until the sugar dissolves. Crank to medium-high and bring to the boil, without stirring, and cook until it reaches 140-145C on a candy thermometer.

Remove from the pan immediately and let it settle before whisking in the peppermint extract. Divide the syrup between two lined baking sheets, add a few drops of each colouring to each half, stir until well combined and place in the oven to stay warm.

Working one at a time, pour the syrup on a lined piece of marble – I used a platter – and leave to sit until a skin has formed as it firms up. Spray a spatula with olive oil and knead the candy with the spatula as it cools. Once it is cool enough to handle, knead by hand using food-safe gloves – to protect from the molten hot syrup – and start stretching out the candy, bring the ends together and then twist the candy until it is homogeneous and shiny AF. Once it is cool and barely pliable, pull it into a 5cm wide strand, return to the baking tray and keep warm. Repeat the process with the remaining colour.

This is where I got confused, so hang in there. Cut a 5cm length of each colour – return the rest to the oven – and press them together sideways. Twist and pull the candy to give the spiral pattern until it is about half a centimetre thick. Cut into 20cm lengths, curl into a hook and transfer to a third lined baking sheet to set. Repeat the process until done.

Once set, either devour in one sitting until you vom. Or you can wrap in cling and give them away as gifts. Because there is no way you’d make these any other time than Christmas time.

 

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