Hojichanine Lattallis

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Drink, Survivor: Australia V The World, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the final four lined up for an epic final immunity challenge which, as per tradition, appeared to be an epic torture device. They each stood on ever narrower pegs and had to balance while holding up 20% of their starting body weight. Which is frankly a challenge Parvati was born to win, but they all fought valiantly. After Cirie and Janine dropped, Luke fought valiantly, but Parvati proved too good and jagged her first ever final immunity. Back at camp Luke seemed to be the dead man walking, though when it came to actually voting, Janine felt guilty and chose to give him a chance at fire. Which then led to the most harrowing situation occurring, as Cirie lost the fire challenge and finished in fourth. Just like her very first season.

The next day Parvati was heartbroken to be sitting in the final three without Cirie, particularly devastated that there was nothing she could do to protect her friend. Making it such a bittersweet moment to have made it to the end for the third time. But trust and believe, she was going to regroup and deliver a killer final tribal council performance. The final three caught up under the shelter, with Parvati assuring the professional keynote speaker and charmer Luke, that she will give them a run for the money. And nothing will get in her way of winning again. The final three then found their feast and after toasting the fact they made it to the end, agreed how grateful they were to have found friends among the chaos.

Luke meanwhile was grateful to Janine for giving him the shot to earn his way into final tribal council, while he worried about getting his words in order and speaking from the heart. Janine was once again proud to have played like the godmother, proving that you can look after your family while being the mob boss. Oh, and she was confident she would be able to treat the final tribal council like the boardroom, using her emotional intelligence to read the room and give them what they want.

At the final tribal council Sarah, Kirby, Kass, Tommi, Lisa, Shonee and Cirie took their places on the jury as Jonathan explained how the evening would play out. First, the final three would each get to make opening statements, before the jury would ask questions one by one, before voting to crown a winner.

Janine kicked off the opening statements by talking about how much she wanted the title, though admitted that she doesn’t really care about the money. She explained that to her, the game is about loyalty and trust, and she found her person in Luke. And while she and Luke played the game from the bottom, getting rid of Kirby was the turning point in her game, as she built a relationship with Cirie and Parvati to take control. She admitted that while she was conflicted about what to do at the final four, she was proud to have given Luke a shot and stay loyal in her game. And she felt that her game was kind of flawless.

Next Luke took the floor, talking about his original audition and how he vowed to be one of the most dominant players around the world. And while everyone in his group laughed, he is now here. And finally, on his third go, he had outlasted, rather than just outwit and outplay. He then articulated finding an idol, aligning with Janine and riding with her to the end, and while he wanted to stay Australia strong at the merge, he pivoted to try and work with the internationals, until it became clear that they weren’t interested. He then decided to work with Parv and Cirie, and is so persuasive, he even convinced Parv to rip up her idol steal advantage. Oh and then he convinced Janine to give him a shot at the end. He spoke about being the heart and soul of Australian Survivor and that he was ready to take his place on the world stage.

Parvati closed things out talking about playing the game for close to 20 years, gagged to be sitting in the final three once again on the biggest stage. And she was confident this was her best game yet. She knew she was one of the biggest targets coming in, so made sure things were still good with Cirie and they reignited the spark of Micronesia. She spoke about being evicted from the auction and while schooling Luke for sending her back to camp, she knew an advantage would be waiting for her at the beach. And when she knew the game was shifting, she decided to try and create a little bit of chaos, gathering the troops and preparing to vote out Kass. Until she whipped out her idol, leading to Parvati pulling out her advantage and bluffing the power of it to ensure she went home. She then outlined that Luke approached her after tribal council and begged her to rip it up, and did it, not because he persuaded her, but because she was in control. She then told the jury that Luke may be a national treasure and Janine a legit icon, but the vote is about who played the best game. And that was her.

And while I agree it is 100% true, only one of the final three were unable to secure votes at final tribal council, and that was the godmother herself, Janine.

While Janine was disappointed to get the dreaded tap on the shoulder before the final votes were read, she was grateful to have such a dear friend by her side. I will argue until the end of time that successful people like Janine that make it to the end, never really get a fair go. I mean, Lisa Welchel and Mike White are proof that being famous makes people question whether they should reward a stellar game, and sadly Janine now joins the club. (Thankfully our fellow bestie Pia and Shane Gould both bucked the trend). Arguably she played the superior game to Luke out of the Aussie finalists, but unfortunately it was also the quieter. She was the one that won over Cirie, allowing them to join forces with the Black Widows and make it to the end. And that alone is worthy of a rich Hojichanine Lattallis.

Full disclosure, hojicha is not everyone’s cup of tea – no pun intended. Giving off a subtle hint of matcha, the roasting of the tea works perfectly in a glorious little iced latte/frappe number (particularly if you go heavy on the maple)!

Enjoy!

Hojichanine Lattallis
Serves: 1

Ingredients
2 tsp hojicha powder
1 cup milk
½ cup Vanilla Ica Cream
2 tsp maple syrup
whipped cream and crushed Lena Wafers, to serve

Method
Combine the hojicha, milk, ice cream and maple in a blender, and blitz for a minute, or until thick and combined.

Pour into a glass, top with whipped cream and crushed wafers before downing, like a boss. Repeat as required.


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David Genutella Sundaes

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Dessert, Snack, Survivor: Australia V The World, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, seven icons from Australia lined up against seven legends of the game from around the world. With six wins between them. Seven if you count DONDI, which is kinda-sorta cannon, now. In any event, given Shonee and Kirby weren’t overly connected on the Aussie tribe, they quickly aligned. With Shonee focused on getting revenge against George (and probs David, given she loves a revenge arc). Knowing he was screwed, George proposed working with David and Luke, however the duo had zero interest. And after David beasted his way to victory in the immunity challenge, it didn’t really matter. Yet. The global players were out for blood with the US players, with Rob bossily pushing for Parvati to go. Sadly for him, Lisa wanted to work with Cirie and convinced the global faction to band with the US to get rid of him instead, making sure Parvati’s birthday was saved.

The next day we checked in with Luke who was busy being a millenial, telling everyone that he has taken up bird watching. While he said that, however, he was obviously hunting for idols. And dishing out his stolen bananas to his new bestie Shonee and perma-bestie David. Even though he knows he can’t actually trust the latter. In any event, he jagged the idol and just like that – RIP, you terrible masterpiece – he became the most powerful player in the game. Well, for now. We all saw Parv Parv at tribal council, so an idol can’t really stop her.

Speaking of which, we checked in with the World tribe where everyone was rather sombre post tribal council. Wait, no, it was just that they hadn’t had their coffeeeeee. Everyone was thrilled to have blindsided Rob and to have created some peace. And Parvati was ready to take advantage of the murky alliances to officially take control. As such, she took the girls off to bathe in the ocean – aka align – while Tony and Tommi were busy working away at camp. Tony admitted that he knows that Parvati and Cirie work best when rallying the women, and as such, tried to figure out a way he and Tommi could save themselves. While the women vibed and ugh, crown Parv now.

Back at the Aussie tribe, David was busy talking about having the biggest target in the game, though was grateful to have three really tight friends on the island in the form of Luke, Janine and Sarah. Not wanting to rest on his laurels though, he caught up with Kirby to see what she was thinking in the hopes of wooing her to his side. And take out George and Shonee first. Sadly for him, Kirby’s closest friend in the game is Shonee, so she caught up with the duo with George suggesting Janine is probably the one that needs to go first. Which instantly spooked Kirby, who felt David was the bigger threat. He then explained that David is too well insulated and his friends will protect him, so taking out Janine will weaken his numbers but not scare him.

Kirby continued to shine, catching up with David’s friends one by one, with Luke talking about going for him eventually, while Shonee reminded her and Sarah that getting rid of George is always an option. Sarah opened up about knowing David outside of the game, both modelling in Western Australia. That being said, she wanted to play things differently this time by having a solid single ally rather than playing both sides. That night, she caught up with Kirby by the fire to not necessarily lock her in as her number one, though to admit that she had come around to getting rid of David first.

Obviously this manifested JLP for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off using a battering ram to smash a wall, carry it through a keyhole, load it with blocks and walk it through a course before stacking them on an A frame and knocking them off with sandbags. The tribes both started smashing their wall at the same time, while Tony dominated the wall strategically and got the World tribe out to a hefty lead. Lisa then coached them through the keyhole, as the Aussies finally made it through the wall. The Aussies tried to close the gap as Tony continued to MVP the challenge for World, who had all their blocks stacked before the Aussies even made it to the end. Sadly, he kinda sucked at throwing, though thankfully, he had plenty of time to get his eye in. After he fatigued, Tommi jumped in and quickly knocked off a couple of blocks. The Aussies finally joined the fray with David coming close to closing the gap. Sadly for him and Luke, however, the lead was too much to overcome as Tony secured immunity for the World tribe.

Back at camp David quickly got to work trying to lock in an alliance with Kirby, suggesting George as the target instead. George meanwhile was talking to Sarah about feeling like he has to bend the knee to David. Luke and Janine caught up with David and Kirby, with him suggesting they split their votes between George and Shonee. Sadly for the alleged Golden God, Kirby knew David had the numbers while Geroge had none and as such, she wanted to get rid of David instead. She caught up with Shonee, George and Sarah to talk through the options, with them all keen to get rid of him because yolo, big moves are more fun. No joke. Sadly while George was feeling this alliance, he pulled Luke and David aside to let them know that David is on the block. And that the only way to save him is working together with Janine to get rid of Shonee instead.

This sent David in a little bit of a spiral, while Sarah desperately tried to keep her distance from him to make sure her loyalty was clearly with Kirby. That being said, she felt bad and pulled Janine aside to let David know that he is in trouble and there is nothing more she can do. Unless he has an idol. The madness continued as George told Kirby that he threw out Shonee’s name to the other side, with her hilariously dunking on him and letting him know the actual plan was to split between him and Shonee. As he started to simmer, David approached and the duo awkwardly got more and more frustrated with each other as Kirby hilariously smirked at the drama.

Even after George threw her squarely under the bus to David, right in front of her.

When it was just the two of them, Kirby confronted him and fired up, making her realise that maybe George did need to go instead. David meanwhile was lamenting his place in the game with Luke, before confronting Kirby in the shallows, as she hilariously chilled out by herself. He asked why she is leading the vote against him, while she pointed out that she is not leading anything. David started talking about his physical strength and how desperately they need him for them to have the numbers at the merge. Sensing it wasn’t going well, he spoke to Janine who assured him Kirby is definitely leading the charge against him. As such, he focused on wooing Sarah to his side. Bless her, however, she was not interested in voting with anyone but Kirby, so did the hail mary for him, and suggested flipping it to George. Which she swiftly did, it seems.

After Sarah told them the vote was now on George, Shonee caught up with Kirby to find out what was happening. And while she was surprised, she was more than happy to snip George. George and Sarah joined them, with George suggesting they get rid of Janine instead to guarantee they all survive the night. And when Luke joined them and assured them he’d happily vote for Janine, a third plan seemed to be locked in.

We finally arrived at tribal council where George admitted he was disappointed to not be having the night off. Kirby said that while her OG season was chaotic, that was amateur hour compared to the afternoon she just had, which was an absolute nightmare. While she is just a newbie. David called her out for playing just as hard as everyone else on the beach, and that she isn’t giving herself enough credit. As she is really in control of the vote tonight. George spoke about the competing priorities amongst the tribe before talking about the fast pace of the game. Shonee and Kirby started to whisper, confirming the vote was still for David before they looped in Sarah and George. And ugh, you could almost see Sarah’s heart break as she realised her promise to David would be broken. Luke joked about Survivor being like riding a bike and that he loved the mess.

As that was happening, David and Janine whispered about potentially convincing George to work with them to get rid of Shonee instead. They then got called out for whispering, with Janine sending David and George aside to talk. While David was warning him that they are truly screwed without each other, the other five spoke about potentially locking in a George vote instead. As George, ugh, quickly agreed to get rid of Shonee with David.

The boys returned to their seats as Kirby looked on at George irate. David then filled Luke in on the plan, as Janine let her boys whisper. Shonee rightly started to get nervous as Kirby tried to assure her that she is safe and they will all get rid of David, so she just needed to relax. Shonee then spoke openly about her fear that the two people that voted her out previously could be working together. David then suggested he, Janine and Luke flip back to George, Luke told George they were voting Janine and fucking hell, I actually have no idea how this is playing out. With that the tribe voted and hilariously, things were split evenly between George and David, with a single little outlier for Janine from George. Which thankfully didn’t bite him in the bum as the tribe re-voted – this time without David and George – and the girls stuck together to send the Golden God from the game.

Despite announcing his retirement from playing, David took his boot in stride, knowing that as the only winner on their beach, he was always kinda, sorta screwed. That and he won millions and millions of dollars on DONDI, so yolo. As such, I pulled him into a hug, feeling his rippling muscles against my chest as I shed a surprising tear that we will never see David in his sarong again. As such, I toasted his demise and wished him luck in his future endeavours – in a hollow, still team JLP manner – with a glorious David Genutella Sundaes.

The first thing I think of when I think of David is nut. Nutella, that is. I also think of how good he would look in the Chris Evans version of the whipped cream bikini, so tried my luck by whipping him up a sundae. And if it went nowhere, at least we got something delicious. Velvety nutella ganache, sweet cherries and the warm crunch of nuts, this is truly delightful.

Enjoy!

David Genutella Sundaes
Serves: 2 dear friends, that could be lovers, because you can’t be lovers if you can’t be friends.

Ingredients
⅓ cup double cream
60g dark chocolate
½ cup nutella
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups Vanilla Ice Cream
⅓ cup toasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped
whipped cream, to taste
4 maraschino cherries
hundreds and thousands, for sprinklin’

Method
Pop the double cream in a saucepan over medium heat and bring to heat until it is almost boiling. Remove from the heat and whisk in the chocolate until it has melted and the sauce is smooth. Stir in the nutella, followed by the vanilla, and remove from the heat.

To assemble, divide the ice cream between two bowls, sprinkle with some nuts, pour over the ganache, dollop the whipped cream and dot with the cherries, before topping with sprinkles. And devouring.


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Golden Sarup & Wadamom Dumplings

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the three tribes were well and truly settling into island life. Despite being left out of the Helen vote, Sarah was assured by her fellow Tikans they are a solid four and will stick together to the end. Though she was still concerned about what would happen should they return to tribal council. After a bunch of shenanigans with cages, keys and fake idols, the tribes came together for the latest immunity challenge where you know Claire sat out once again. Sadly for her, however, it made her a target once Soka lost immunity and everyone realised she was disposable. While Frannie and Heidi tried to sway their respective partners to target Josh instead, the terrible timeline continued as we lost yet another iconic woman to the pre-merge.

The next day the new Soka tribe did a little sunrise meditation session to work through losing Claire. Not that Josh really needed it though, given he was firmly the swing vote between two pairs within the tribe. Sadly though, that wasn’t how things actually were with the two pairs actually keen to work together to take him out and go into the merge as two powerful duos. We ventured to Tika where the foursome were wandering around the jungle and discovered a new X made of sticks added to the cage, with everyone speculating what it could mean. We then learnt Carolyn is playing 5D chess, hiding the X on the cage and marking an X over where she hid the fake idol to trick someone into finding it. And ugh, I love her so much. The group went back to camp speculating what the X could mean as Sarah discovered Carolyn’s fake idol without anyone noticing. Even Carolyn, though she was grateful somebody found it.

The tribes met with Probst for the first reward challenge of the season where they would race up a ladder, over a cargo net and then shoot sandbags at a target. The trick being that every person on the tribe each needs to hit one of the targets in order to take the win. That being for either a massive or decent tarp, in addition to assigning which person from each tribe goes on the next journey. Danny got Soka out to the lead, followed by Carson for Tika while Brandon eventually connected to keep Ratu in it. Soka continued to power ahead as Ratu overtook Tika as Carolyn struggled to make the shot. Ultimately Soka took out victory before Carolyn finally connected leaving Tika and Ratu to battle for second with Ratu taking it out before Yam Yam even got a chance to toss his sack.

With the challenge out of the way things got interesting as Soka sent Josh, Carson and Jaime on their journey where they bonded as they trekked up a mountain. When they reached the pinnacle, they split up and made their way to a table where they were each given a hidden immunity idol to use up to the merge. The catch being they will not be going home to their tribes, instead pulling out a new buff with Josh joining Tika, Jaime going to Soka and Carson heading over to Ratu. Josh was first to meet his new tribe as Yam Yam, Carolyn and Sarah were gagged to have a new member. Despite welcoming him with open arms, Yam Yam was heartbroken to have lost Carson given they had become so close. The OG Tika’s tried to get to know Josh with Sarah thinking he was a surgeon, though he promptly lied about it and said he was a personal trainer. Sadly for him, Yam Yam could see right through his lie and he and Sarah secretly picked apart his timeline and confirmed they couldn’t trust him.

Over at Ratu Carson was regaling the new tribe with the journey that brought him here and while I love Carson, the fact that his first move to ingratiate himself was to throw Yam Yam under the bus as the leader breaks my heart. Sad to have lost his closest ally, Matthew pulled Carson aside to fill him in on what has been going on within the tribe to try and build trust. And while he left out the fact Jamie’s idol is fake, I love how hard he is playing. Soka were equally gagged to see Jaime arriving at their camp and while I would assume she is completely screwed, she is so kind and upbeat, I don’t see them wanting to get rid of her too easily. The OG Soka’s were concerned about her having an idol and spoiling their plans, so Danny got to work looking through her things though decided she was all good. Despite the fact she has one real and one fake idol.

The new tribes reconvened with Jeffrey for the latest immunity challenge where they would dive into the ocean one at a time, climb a tower and leap off to grab a key before swimming to a balance beam and walking over it. Once the four keys were collected, they would unlock puzzle pieces and solve said puzzle. Because, duh. Josh got Tika out to an early lead until Brandon powered across the balance beam and snatched the lead. While Danny was left right out. Lauren missed her key, meaning Brandon had to double back to collect one, given Soka and Tika time to close the gap. Well, Soka at least, as Yam Yam got stuck on the balance beam. Heidi and Matt got to work on the puzzle for Soka as Kane and Carolyn raced to make it to the end of the course, before Kane started struggling on the beam. Once Soka confirmed their win, Ratu and Tika powered through their puzzle before Lauren and Carson pulled ahead, securing immunity for Ratu and sending Tika back to tribal council. Just.

Back at camp the tribe were dejected by the loss, with Yam Yam disappointed but ok, given Josh is a super easy target as the newbie. Sadly Yam Yam told Carolyn she would be the decoy vote and while she said she was ok at the moment, she was super annoyed by it and sick of being told to accept being the secondary target. Yam Yam and Sarah pulled Josh aside to loop in him, assuring him that they desperately want to work with him and get rid of Carolyn. Though Sarah admitted she was a little concerned about him having an idol and assured us that should he play one, she will be playing hers. Josh then went to Carolyn and straight up told her that not only is she their target, but that he has an idol and would play it on her while they put their votes on Sarah and get her out of the game. Giving Carolyn the choice to send Josh out of the game or tell him where to actually play the idol and blindside Sarah.

At tribal council Josh spoke about how shocked he was to have been swapped to the new tribe and while he was an easy target, Sarah and Yam Yam spoke about how keeping him around could help build an alliance with his friends in Soka. Yam Yam spoke about how he may not feel like he is friends with his OGs anymore, which upset Carolyn given it felt like he was over her and wanted her out. As they started to fight, Josh admitted he was living for the chaos, though knew that the fight could all be a cover to make him feel safe. Carolyn felt that her loyalty was being ignored, as Sarah and Yam Yam spoke about aligning with Soka meaning Carolyn was clearly the target. If it isn’t an act. With that the tribe voted and Josh played his idol on himself while Sarah and Carolyn held onto theirs – whether Sarah’s was real or not doesn’t matter here, TBH – before Carolyn and Josh’s votes sent Sarah from the game. To Yam Yam’s shock and horror.

As often happens, Sarah found her way to Loser Lodge by following my tears of rage. This time due to having lost yet another iconic woman pre-merge. I mean, in the words of Taylor Armstrong – enough. I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her that the small starting tribes seem to have run their course, given time and time again, women and minorities are going out with just a few votes for no other reason than there aren’t enough people around to strategise with (or vote out). Add in a sea of advantages and well, refer back to Taylor ok? That being said, the new era has given us plenty of icons for another Second Chances season and that is enough to celebrate with a big batch of Golden Sarup & Wadamom Dumplings.

These fluffy dumplings are the perfect, soothing dish to warm your soul. Sticky and sweet with a beautifully spiced kick, they melt in your mouth and take away the pain of yet another season of femicide (thank f- Liz overcame this trend).

Enjoy!

Golden Sarup & Wadamom Dumplings
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
100g butter, diced
1 ⅓ cups muscovado sugar
¼ cup golden syrup
1 ⅓ cups flour
1 ½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cardamom
¼ tsp cinnamon
⅔ cup milk
Vanilla Ice Cream, to serve

Method
Place 60g butter, 1 ¼ cups of muscovado sugar and the golden syrup in a large frying pan with 2 cups cold water and cook over a low heat for about 5 minutes, or until the sugar has dissolved. Crank the heat up to medium and bring to the boil, and cook for a few minutes until it reduces before removing from the heat.

Combine the flour, cardamom, cinnamon and butter in a bowl and, using your fingers, rub the butter through until it resembles wet sand before stirring through the remaining muscovado. Make a well in the centre, pour in the milk and stir with a wooden spoon until it comes together as a wet dough.

Return the caramel to a medium heat and carefully drop in a few tablespoons of batter at a time, leaving a little bit of space to allow them to puff up as they cook. Cover with a lid or some foil, reduce to low and simmer for 15 minutes, or until they are cooked through.

Serve immediately with a generous coating of the caramel and a hearty dollop of ice cream.


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Dulce de Leche Terrinity the Tuck

Dessert, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Winners as the dolls edged closer to another crown, Jaida and Jinkx were way out in front of the pack, while Shea was trailing behind with a solitary star. Facing another roast, Trinity was nervous after bombing both Season 9 and All Stars 4’s versions. Thankfully she got her redemption, with a killer set that was oh so joyous and silly. Once again all the girls were very strong in the challenge, though it was ultimately Jinkx – who followed DeLa to secure her fifth win in a single season – and Trinity that were deemed the top two. And once again, Jinkx powered through the lip sync, emerging as a lowkey assassin to secure another $10K. Though not the power to block, given Ru decided to suspend All Winners rules for the final challenge.

Backstage Jinkx was on cloud nine, thrilled to definitely be making it to the top four while the rest congratulated her on dominating the season. And were thrilled about not being blocked. Trinity too was proud to be guaranteed a spot in the finale with her fourth win, while Shea was essentially ready to accept defeat and the fact she will not be a finalist. Starting to question whether she can nap through next week rather than watch them lip sync for the crown. Jaida gave Shea a pep talk, reminding her that anything can happen in Drag Race and she isn’t even confident she will get there with her three stars. And oh God, please don’t be shitty foreshadowing.

The next day the dolls were all ready to fight for the last stars while Jaida showed off her cute arse. Her words, though I won’t disagree. Before we could see it unsheathed, Ru arrived to announce that for their final Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in the Drag Race Gives Back Variety Extravaganza. With the winner of the lip sync not just getting $10K, but able to donate $30K to charity. Oh and this challenge is worth 3 stars, so yeah, condragulations Shea, you’re still in the game! But before they compete, they have to have a tic tac lunch opposite Ru and Michelle.

With all the bombs dropped, Ru exited as the dolls split up to prep for the talent show as Shea realised she just needs to win this challenge to make it to the end. Making her laser focused to kill the performance. Raja meanwhile was opening up to Trinity about her talent show performance, which is a traditional Indonesian dance number and fuck, give her the win and get her into the finale NOW.

Trinity was first to kiki with Ru and Michelle, talking about how different her life is thanks to Drag Race. She then spoke about her charity, Planned Parenthood and all that it does for the community before explaining to Ru that she doesn’t have small town ideals on account of being gay. And as she says, I LIVE! The Viv was next up talking about how the experience changed her, competing against people that she has looked up to and proving she deserves to be here. Her charity is Trans Lifeline and she will be singing an original song written by DIANE WARREN?!

Backstage Monet shared that she would be doing opera in the talent show and you just know this is going to be rudemption for the All Stars 4 talent show. She then dropped by Ru and Michelle with the former gushing over how proud she is of Monet, while she opened up about how powerful her fans are. And she will be singing for Black Power for Change, and requested that Ru wear opera glasses for the performance. Yvie meanwhile was effusive about how grateful she is to be back in the competition and to show a different side of herself. And since she is performing for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, I am rooting for her. She opened up about how her disease is slowly taking away her skills and while it sucks, she is proud of what she can do.

Talk backstage continued to be focused on the fact this final challenge is a fast track to the top four, which is what Shea spoke about with Ru and Michelle and how ready she is to fight. And since her song will be Luther Vandross does Janet Jackson for the Period Poverty Project, I look forward to her winning out this week. After Raja finished smoking Jinkx’s hair backstage, she dropped by to kiki with Ru and Michelle, admitting she still has her Season 3 tic tac at home. She then opened up about that while she grew up in a religious household, her family loved her and she appreciates the values they instilled in her. She then shared that she would be doing a traditional Balinese dance for the Trans Equality project. And best believe, it is her farewell performance. Because she is too tired to do the competition again.

Jinkx was up next talking about how she came in with an absolute fire and ready to make Ru proud. Which he shared that he was, and always wanted to see her shine as bright as she can. Jinkx opened up about how her sobriety has made her such a lighter, happier person with Ru opening up about her own sobriety too and how it had a similar impact on her mental health. Oh and Jinkx would be performing an original song for the Black Visions Collective. Jaida was her usual brand of adorable charm, opening up about letting go for her second round and just having fun. Which led to her learning, growing and loving herself and ugh, I love Jaida so damn much. Even more so after learning Free Black Therapy is her charity.

Runway Day arrived with everyone focused as they split up to prepare for a guaranteed shot at the top four. Raja by doing yoga, Trinity by running scales and getting energised, while The Viv was just excited to see everyone turn a killer show. Shea meanwhile was focused solely on the win and leapfrogging her way to the top four. While Monet was just terrified about bombing and looking a fool. Because opera is a very big swing. Yvie meanwhile pointed out that there is a possibility for a tie if two queens with two or less stars win, with everyone speculating how they would break it. Trinity opened up about feeling this is the best contest she’s ever been in, with Monet suggesting it is because there is no pressure because she was never going to win.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on the panel by Hannah Einbinder as Trinity opened the show with a tonne of energy and all the charm. More importantly, she had four dancers without shirts on. Which was hot. Yvie was delivered in a chest before she gave full Yvie and was so damn fun. And acrobatic. Jaida was fierce as hell and looked absolutely perfect as she dropped all the beats. Which really shows how uncool I am. I mean, beats? But whatever, Jaida was amazing. Jinx was a star belting a confident, camp number about her growth between her seasons and well, it kinda felt like a victory lap because she is ready for that second crown.

Oh and she deepthroated the microphone.

Shea then came on stage and was perfection from start to finish, looking and sounding like an absolute popstar, complete with wind blown hair and well, this is why she is an icon. And why she is making it to the top four, as no one is topping this. Wait, no, Raja was fucking iconic and stunning, giving culture and heart. It was frenetic, hypnotic and like Raja, it was beautiful, warm and perfect. Did I mention I love Raja? Because, duh. The Vivienne gave an 80s-90s pop diva in her song, thankfully keeping her back-up dancers shirtless and well, it was stunning. And proving me wrong again, Monet came and did that and then some. Topping Shea’s performance, inspiring Ru to get the Opera glasses out and not missing a damn note as she emoted all through the opera as Hannah Einbinder and The Vivienne held back tears.

The judges loved how much fun Trinity had in the talent show, lived for Jinkx owning her power and stealing the moment and were gagged by Yvie’s fake-out opening and for thinking outside of the box. That she jumped out of. She then broke down, grateful to be back and do a farewell tour, sharing skills that she will soon lose. They praised The Vivienne for being so damn fierce and shining bright, while Shea received all the damn praise. All of it. Every thing she did this week, they loved every moment of it. With Hannah in particular speechless. Everyone was so grateful for Raja sharing so much of herself in the performance and were drawn in by her innate charm and beauty. She then broke down about how her dad’s favourite story to tell was about Raja running away at an airport and finding her performing this dance to a crowd.

Oh and she wants Indonesian Tourism to sponsor her.

Then, obviously, Monet also received all the praise and honestly, I’m not sure who is going to win this week. Because they also loved Jaida’s upbeat energy and how much of a star she is every time she is on stage.

Backstage the dolls were so proud of themselves for doing all that, Monet, Shea and Raja in particular. While Jinkx was just glad to not really have to worry about winning and to be able to just have fun. Trinity meanwhile was just proud to be entering Untucked fully clothed. Talk turned to who would be in the top with everyone agreeing Monet is definitely the top, with the second spot up for grabs. The Vivienne told her that the power of her voice literally brought her to tears, while Raja offered to buy everyone’s singles when they came out. Which is just adorable aunty.

Talk turned to Shea’s Janet level performance, with Trinity pointing out that while she only had one star before this week, she truly has slayed the entire competition and deserves her spot in the finale, should she have booked it. Oh and Shea just wanted to know what Jinkx singing while deepthroating feels like. When, you know. Everyone spoke about how emotional they felt on the MainStage, proud of everything they did and how close they’ve all gotten.

Then Hannah Einbinder arrived looking stunning and getting lavished in praise by the dolls. Which is exactly what she did to them too, wishing she could pay them all to have watched the. Which Raja was happy to oblige.

Ultimately it was Monet and Shea that landed in the top, booking their place in the top four opposite Jinkx. And well, since Monet now has the most stars, she would have to break the tie between Jaida and Trinity. And well, poor Jaida could see it coming a mile away as she put on a brave face before Monet gave Trinity the final place in the top four. Which is what she deserves, given she has four wins to Jaida’s two.

But don’t worry, because the bottom four would also have a chance for, well, Ru will reveal that in due course. Because there is a lip sync to be had, damnit!

Both the dolls demolished the singing budgie, our Kylie’s – who coincidentally is returning for the Neighbours finale tonight – Supernova. They both hit every lyric, were sexy and sensual and at points, completely in sync with each other. Monet was splitting, Shea was voguing and well, it was good. Standing ovation from their sisters, kinda good. Ultimately though it was Shea that jagged the ultimate cash prize for her charity before Ru gagged them all by giving each of their charities $10K, so everyone’s a winner I guess.

Particularly because the bottom four will also be competing in a lip sync smackdown of their own, for the title of Queen of She’s Already Done Had Herses and a cash prize of $49K. Wait, no, Michelle upped it to $50K with her titty cash.

As the shocked dolls exited backstage, I yanked Trinity out of Monet’s arms for our second last visit of the season. In what feels like a broken record, every season I feel like I won’t be rooting for Trinity. And every season, the first episode happens and her charm and talent shines through, and I have no choice but to stan. And honestly, third-appearance-Trinity is her best iteration – she was joyous, iconic, polished and oh so talented, that I couldn’t be happier for her competing for the crown a third time.

Anyway, I yanked her out of Monet’s arms and gave her a massive hug, congratulating her for another killer run. And for doing it with kindness and compassion for her fellow sisters. Which is reason enough alone for a Dulce de Leche Terrinity the Tuck.

I know, I know – it is another terrine for Trinity’s recipe collection! But this is a dessert one, so I feel like I should be given a pass. Sweet and salty, with a beautiful biscuit crunch, this is a quick and easy dessert which looks so, so decadent.

Enjoy!

Dulce de Leche Terrinity the Tuck
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup butternut snap biscuits, crushed
3 cups Vanilla Ice Cream, softened for half an hour or so
Dulce de Nick Lachey

Method
I want to say this is a super easy recipe, but that is assuming you’ve already whipped up the Vanilla Ice and Nick Lachey recipes. Or, you know, bought ice cream and dulce de leche.

Assuming that is all done, line a loaf tin with cling film and sprinkle half the crumbled biscuits along the base. Gently spoon in ⅔ of the ice cream to cover the crumbs. Blob in the dulce de leche, followed by the rest of the ice cream. Using a skewer, swirl the caramel through the loaf to give you a marbled texture throughout the terrine. Sprinkle the rest of the crumb over the top, cover with some cling and transfer to the freezer to set for a couple of hours.

When you want to devour it, remove from the freezer for ten minutes, then carve into slabs. And then devour.


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Tyson ChocTopostol

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Natalie continued to dominate the game on Edge of Extinction, finding yet another advantage, this time selling it to Sarah for another fire token. Over at Dakal, Sandra was trying a new approach to win allies by becoming the provider and while Tyson tried to highlight she was adding no value, she straight up caught a baby shark and treated her tribe to a feast. After Sele lost another immunity challenge – never be on a tribe with Denise, it seems – things were still squarely split down Old School and New School. Adam was busy trying to rally the troops against Parvati for being Parvati, he made the rookie mistake of telling Ethan and Rob who promptly went to Michele and Jeremy for answers. Leaving them no choice but to flip the vote to Ethan instead, tragically felling the zaddy victor of Africa.

We returned to Sele where Rob was lamenting the loss of Ethan before congratulating the tribe on the blindside. Well, except for Adam, who he was thrilled he was able to outsmart and blow up his plan to get rid of Parvati, despite it not working well enough to save Ethan. Rob and a very dejected Parv caught up away from the tribe, with Rob filling her in on the extent of work it took to save her, with her grateful that she could trust him. Remember when they couldn’t trust each other in Heroes vs. Villains? This is some Jerri and Colby level redemption right here. Adam meanwhile was catching up with Ben and Michele, who quickly told him that he needs to pull his head in and stop playing both sides unless he wants to be next. He then did a cheeky apology tour and everyone seemed open to it, except for Ben and, and – am I liking Ben? Despite him still wanting to get rid of Rob and Parvati?

The next day we ventured over to Dakal where Yul was celebrating making it a quarter of the way through the game. He hugged his tribe, spanked Tony and damn, I think I ship them. While Dakal are happy and content after their winning streak, Yul was thrilled that it had also allowed his alliance with Sophie, Nick and Wendell to grow very tight without having to show their hand yet. Speaking of Sophie and Nick, they were perched on the edge of camp watching the Edge of Extinction, fearing going there and joining the misery being experienced by Ethan, Danni, Amber and Natalie, the richest woman in Survivor.

Speaking of the Edge, Amber found treemail with the offer for each of them to receive a fire token. The catch being that they all had to transport 20 pieces of firewood from the top of the mountain to their camp. One at a time. Before sundown. On the first trip the foursome were powering along, Danni then opted to stick with a slow and steady pace while Natalie just dominated them all, running up the hill like it was nothing. Danni compared it to childbirth, minus the joy of a baby, Amber willed it to be over and poor, sweet Zaddy Ethan straight up started to fall apart, first mentally and then physically requiring medical to visit the island. It turns out that his blood pressure was low and he risked fainting. With four logs to go, he willed his campmates to keep pushing before mustering the energy to continue on himself, reminding him that if he can beat cancer, he can beat this. Natalie was the first to finish and immediately went to the water to breakdown, overwhelmed by the emotion of the day. Amber too started to sob as soon as her 20th piece landed, while Danni was jubilant. On Ethan’s final run, the girls joined him to make sure he knew how proud of him they were and hot damn, I can’t stop crying.

Does this actually make me enjoy the Edge?

Back at Sele, Rob and Michele were catching up about just how long it had been since Rob and Parvati had played the game. He pointed out that she was 9 years old the first time he played the game and it has evolved so much in that time. Talk soon turned to Michele’s return to the game, sharing that her siblings were very concerned given the backlash she experienced after beating Aubry. Thankfully she made far more friends this time than Adam has, who has moved on from apologising to instead working hard around camp to prove himself indispensable. Parv was still feeling down, knowing that she and Rob were well and truly on the bottom of the tribe. That being said, she wasn’t lying down and waiting to be voted out. She and Rob caught up with Adam and despite him not having a slip of the tongue, they decided to channel Sandra and instead approach Jeremy and Michele to let them know that he is furiously scrambling against them again. Which they believed, vowing to get him out ASAP.

We returned to Dakal where Sarah was proving to be a far more entertaining character, testing stinky breath with Tyson and doing random physical tasks that are on the borderline of being dangerous. But not dangerous enough to get Tony interested. Sarah shared that despite not being aligned with Tyson, she was enjoying his company and loved having someone that she could be goofy with and have fun. Tyson meanwhile was trying to work through not having allies, going the Sandra route and catching octopus for the tribe and when that didn’t work, spending time with Sandra and Tony to try and get a new alliance going. He rightly pointed out that the four unconnected people are running the game by letting all of the big threats take each other out until they have the numbers. And while that is exactly what is happening, Sandra had no interest in working with him given the fact that he was trying to take her out last week.

My love Jeffrey arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes were required to split up with four people tethered to a boat, and swim it and the remaining three people in the tribe to a tower. The trio would then climb the tower and jump off the edge to grab a key before using the key to unlock puzzle pieces, and obviously, solve it. Oh and in addition to immunity, the winning tribe also gets chickens. Once again Sandra sat out – with Parv throwing some shade about renaming the bench after her, which didn’t bother the Queen in the slightest – this time with Tony. Dakal once again got out to an early lead, grabbing all of their keys while Sele struggled. Adam managed to grab two keys while Nick and Sarah started working on the puzzle for Dakal. Adam continued to go up and down the tower, desperately trying to get the third key while Dakal continued to pull away. Finally he grabbed the final key, leading to the tribe desperately swimming to the puzzle to try and close the gap. Which they did, in a terrifyingly quick manner, as Rob and Michele destroyed them, getting piece after piece with no mistakes and finally earning a second immunity for Sele.

A shocked Dakal returned to camp with Nick heartbroken to have let down the tribe, which only Tyson seemed to want to acknowledge. With that, Tyson saw the chance of a crack, approaching Sarah and Yul to get them on board, pointing out that Nick doesn’t do anything around camp and blew the challenge. He quickly lined up seven people to get rid of Nick, pointing out that it seemed too easy. Which it was, because as soon as he left camp, everyone else locked in the vote against Tyson. Nick was upset that Tyson was targeting him in particular, given he is a big fan. Well, was. Tyson and Tony caught up by the shore and while the vote seemed to be locked for Tyson, Tony was desperate to try and find a way to save him. Given he is both a number and a shield for him. Tony quickly got Sarah on board, who in turn wooed Kim, leaving Sandra as the key to the plan. And while she agreed with Tony’s pitch, she was more nervous about the fact that Tyson has already targeted her and could take her out if the eventual swap doesn’t go her way.

At tribal council Tony spoke about how close the tribe has become, though reminded Jeff that that doesn’t impact how clearcut the vote is. Yul spoke about how natural groups have formed, though was hopeful that they would be able to keep them secret so that they didn’t have any firm lines drawn in the tribe. Sophie echoed the sentiment, pointing out that while we all know it may be a facade, they need to exit tribal council with eight people that are willing to keep the facade through a swap to make sure they have control on the new tribes. Nick quickly jumped in saying that he will be loyal to any of them, which was quickly echoed by the rest of the tribe. Sandra reminded everyone that her strategy is and will always be, anyone but me. Yul spoke about how different everyone is to be playing against versus who they were on TV, admitting that Tony is less crazy than expected. Kim and Sophie admitting to feeling starstruck by some of the other winners, before Tyson reminded them that focusing on taking out someone like a trophy can throw off peoples’ games. Nick spoke about letting the tribe down and feeling nervous, but felt like he was let in on the plan.

Someone everyone else on the tribe also felt they were across.

With that the tribe voted and it turned out that everyone but Tyson was in on the plan, as he found himself out of the game and heading to the Edge of Extinction. While I was heartbroken to see Tyson booted so soon, he was coming for my girl Sandra when they should have been sticking Villains strong and as such, I chastised him as he arrived. Tyson being Tyson, however, took it all in his stride and just wanted me to give him a little treat before settling on the Edge. Which is super relatable, given there is nothing better than a Tyson ChocTopostol.

As a kid I was a moron, and never appreciated that a choc top is the ultimate cinema snack. But these glorious numbers are essentially my penance – crispy waffle cones, dripping ice cream and a glorious crunch of chocolate? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Tyson ChocTopostol
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 waffle cones
1 cup Vanilla Ice Cream, or any flavour you could want
½ cup ice magic

Method
This one is difficult to do, so strap in. Divide the ice cream between the cones, smoothing the top as best as possible.

Coat the ice cream with ice magic, allow to set and then devour.

Like an icon.


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Andy Meldrumsticks waiting to be gobbled up by the hapless Australian Survivor ultrafan, Andy Meldrum

Andy Meldrumstick

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor a broken rope eliminated King Ross from the game, breaking the heart of the nation in the process. Prior to that the post-swap Champions tribe was dominated by two power couples – Daisy and Shaun and Luke and David – who were battling it out for dominance, though were laying in wait to take control. Andy meanwhile tried to play both sides, but botched it so badly that nobody wanted to play with him and quickly made enemies. Clearly not having heard about Julia getting run over in Koah Rong while standing in the middle of the road. Meanwhile at the Contenders the OG Champs had dominated the tribe, though when it came down to just them and Harry had considered getting into bed with him and forming an unlikely alliance to control the post merge.

We immediately checked in with Jonathan at the top of a hill where both tribes were still sad to have lost Ross to injury. While I was offended by the lack of mourning period, that didn’t stop the game as Jonathan told them all to drop their buffs – sadly John didn’t take his speedo off with it – as the merge had arrived. Pia was thrilled to have gone from potential first boot to in a good place post-merge, while Luke was pumped to have made it for the second time. Janine was excited for the game to restart, while Andy was excited that all those sharks are circling and ready to sacrifice their next victim. Which is likely to be him.

Before returning to their new camp, Jonathan introduced them to their first individual reward challenge where the would need to hold a weight tethered to bucket of water above their head, with the last person dry snatching a mystery crate of goodness. Mere minutes into the challenge Jonathan offered the first temptation, with Luke dropping out and snatching a packet of Tim Tams. Which will, tragically, run out. Pia and Harry were next, dropping out for phone calls from home with Pia’s partner giving her a pep talk while her daughter was more concerned about keeping her up to date with her ear-wear. Which is iconic. Abbey and JaQueen dropped out for tacos and margies, John, Shaun and Baden dropped out for red wine and some spaghetti and Andy dropped out for John’s love, a mexican parma.

Daisy, Simon and David stayed firm through bacon and eggs, cake, shampoo and conditioner, an advantage in the next immunity challenge and an entire pizza, instead choosing to battle it out for the big ol’ box. Wanting to hurry things along, Jonathan changed the rule to leaving both hands on the bag, which immediately claimed David while Daisy and Simon continued to fight. Well until Simon couldn’t handle it anymore, dropping the bag and handing Daisy the big box. Which she could open when she arrived at the new camp.

Back at camp Daisy was thrilled to be above average as a member of the newly merged tribe, which settled on the palatial digs of the camp formerly known as Champ Camp. While they tried to act like one big happy family and settle in, Andy brought up that they need to name the tribe. Obviously he had researched a name, suggesting ‘Soli Bula’ which means welcome together. After everyone agreed on it and laughed about how obvious a superfan he is, he shared that ‘Soli Bula actually means sacrifice and he can’t wait to sacrifice everyone on the tribe. Sadly unaware that he is likely to be the next person sacrificed.

David and the rest of the Champions went for a walk down the beach with David filling them in on what he and Luke went through on the other tribe with the idol plays and swift moves. Luke stayed with the Contenders to make them feel like he is in with them and hide how tight the alliance truly is. David warned them against Andy and his ways, though pointed out that Daisy and Shaun are the most dangerous and need to be split up ASAP. Speaking of Daisy, she was catching up with Baden and Harry who warned her against the target on her and Shaun’s back, before reiterating that if one of them goes, they all go one after the other.

Shaun decided staying Contender strong is the most beneficial for their games, approaching Harry and John to get them on board. Pia was feeling slightly more confident, knowing she has a meat shield in the form of JaQueen and that her social game has been so strong, nobody has bothered to notice the strategy. She also suggested that playing lowkey and hiding your superfan status is important, which is something Andy needs to learn ASAP. Pia and JaQueen went for a walk to the well, where she suggested that she still wants to take out David, though whether it is something that she needs to happen ASAP is unknown.

Finally Daisy went for a wander into the jungle where she discovered her box and learned that her reward was actually every single item that Jonathan offered at the reward, in addition to a bath. After a brief chat with her mum, she then read the advantage which sadly gave her no information. After smashing a few meals, washing her hair and smashing her margie, she then lifted up a final closh, discovering that she also won an individual immunity idol filling with with unending joy and a little bit of hope. She then returned to camp to fill them in on her reward, however David was not buying it since she didn’t mention anything about an idol. Or the obviously ball hiding it in her hand.

Daisy and Shaun caught up near the well, with her sharing that she found an idol in her box – direct quote – which made Shaun confident that they will be able to swing the odds in their favour, despite the target their alliance has put on their backs. That night David, Abbey, Pia and JaQueen decided to make Daisy feel so nervous that if she has an idol, she plays it while they target someone else.

The next day John flashed everyone is pearly white arse, before everyone headed off to find Jonathan for the first individual immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a rope threaded through a tile and attached to a bag holding 60% of their bodyweight, with the last person still holding their bag with their tile intact scoring immunity. Oh and we finally learnt Daisy’s advantage is starting ten minutes after everyone else. Out of nowhere Zaddy John and Luke started to struggle within the first ten minutes, dropping out first at the same time, followed closely by Harry. After Daisy joined the fray, Baden opted out of the challenge with everyone riding out the next ten minutes safely. Pia started to struggle before joining the boys on the bench, followed by David after everyone spoke about the dangers of being too confident. He was followed by Andy, and then Simon at the thirty minute mark. After 40 minutes Shaun and Janine started to struggle, with Janine needing more of a boost if she wanted to stay in the challenge. Abbey, Shaun and Daisy continued to fight it out with the latter dropping out despite her advantage. Finally, after 55 minutes in battle poor Abbey couldn’t hold old any longer, handing Shaun the first individual immunity just when he needed it.

Back at camp Andy was feeling nervous about his place in the tribe now that Shaun has immunity. Meanwhile David was frustrated that his number one target had immunity and his number two likely had an idol, and as such, wanted Andy out in retaliation for his failing ways as a snack. With David iconically referring to him as a worm. While everyone agreed to band together to take out Andy, Shaun wasn’t happy about getting rid of him as a number and instead suggested to Daisy that they need to stick together as Contenders and target Dave. They then floated the idea of playing their idol to save Andy JIC and while Daisy can’t trust him, she also was attracted to the idea of making a big move.

Pia too was struggling with the easy Andy vote, realising that getting rid of Dave would likely be better for her game. She, Abbey and JaQueen caught up, agreeing that getting rid of Dave would make sense, so approached Andy to see what went on at the post-swap Champions tribe. Luke and Abbey approached Shaun and Daisy to start making Daisy nervous enough to get rid of her idol. Eventually Andy and Dave caught up for Andy’s last attempt to save himself, sharing that he didn’t actually try to throw the challenge and instead was making it look like he was to keep Daisy and Shaun happy. Knowing it was a total lie, David told him that he trusted him and  that his only chance at surviving the night would be to join the Champs and vote for Daisy. And honestly after the mess of everyone scrambling, I am so confused about what is actually going to happen.

At tribal council JaQueen tried to downplay how tight the OG Champions were, suggesting that they are all contenders ready to battle. John pointed out that the original tribes were hard to break, before David joined in downplaying the day one alliances. Shaun admitted that he is aware of the target on his back but people need to realise he can not win ten immunities in a row. Andy spoke about loyalty being hard to come by now that the tribe merged, before Luke jumped in to remind him of the move he tried to make against Daisy pre-merge which showed a lack of loyalty. Andy tried to lie out of the hole, with Dave joining in to tag-team Andy with Luke saying that they would actually respect him if he owned his moves. Shaun asked Andy point blank if he had tried to make a move against Daisy, with him once again lying about it happening.

Baden said that it was the most important tribal of the game, while Daisy admitted that she is feeling very nervous. David jumped back in to point out that just because someone is taking a lot of heat, doesn’t necessarily mean that they will be the one getting the boot and honestly I don’t know if that should make Daisy more or less nervous. He and Janine questioned the vote coming down to tribal lines, while Shaun was hopeful that tomorrow everything will be clearer and people will then be able to figure out their next move. David then spoke about the vote being clear cut, though was sure that some people will likely be shocked by the outcome.

With that the tribe voted, Daisy played her idol for herself and the tribe joined together to rid the game of Andy. Though not before one final moment of making me feel confused about how I feel for him, joking about voting for Daisy a couple of times and following it up by outing Dave’s idol. While sure, he didn’t actually think that Dave has the idol which he has, but the fact that he dropped the bomb and has left drama is something I’ll be forever grateful for. Plus, the look of pain as he tried to not show how disappointed he was to just miss the jury is the exact way I would be looking, and as such, the man still deserved a comforting Andy Meldrumstick.

 

Andy Meldrum waiting to dry his tears with an Andy Meldrumsticks

 

While Andy’s big moves never went anywhere, those massive swings are what makes the game exciting … kinda like the combination of white chocolate, salted caramel and peanuts. As salty as his moments of loss and deceit, as sweet as his (surprising to me) numerous victories in challenges and as cold as his persona, there is no better way to toast the ultrafan. And distract from the fact he was outshone as a villain by David.

Enjoy!

 

Andy Meldrum washing away his pain with an Andy Meldrumstick or two

 

Andy Meldrumstick
Serves: 1 Sonic Look-a-like and his dearest frenemy

Ingredients
400g white chocolate, roughly chopped
2 tbsp grapeseed oil
6 waffle cones
8 cups Vanilla Ice Cream, softened.
2 cups JL Salkeld Caramel
1 cup salted peanuts, roughly chopped

Method
Melt the chocolate in a double boiler over a rollicking boil until smooth and silky. Remove from the heat and stir through the oil until well combined.

To assemble, pour a tablespoon of chocolate in the bottom of each cone and place into a couple of glasses and transfer to the freezer to set for ten minutes or so. Once set, remove from the freezer and pipe the ice cream into each cone, adding swirls and peaks to make it look legit. Using another piping bag, pipe a core of salted caramel into the middle and swirl over the top. Return to the cup and pop it into the freezer to set for half an hour or so, repeating the process until the ice creams are done.

Once set, brush with additional white chocolate and drizzle over the top, sprinkle with peanuts and return to the freezer to set for half an hour. Then devour, sadly, knowing you’ve missed the all winners season … even before losing the season in a spectacular fashion.

 

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A sickly sweet Steven Bradberry Doughnut Cobbler waiting for fifth boot Steven Bradbury.

Steven Bradberry Doughnut Cobbler

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the Monika Radulovic memorial Tower of Terror challenge returned to wreak havoc on poor tsunami survivor Sarah, after Casey dived out of the challenge quicker than Sarah dived off a balcony into the tsunami to save her life. Obviously the Champs took out victory, which they were allowed to share with someone from the other tribe and selected Zaddy John given how he supported Sarah through the trauma. Janine found a clue to an idol amongst the loot, however upon finding it learnt that said idol was only for a Contender to play at a Contender tribal council, and the corresponding Champion idol is in the same place on the Contenders beach. After Pia and Luke got tangled up in the immunity challenge, ultimately leading to the Champion’s loss. Back at camp things got heated with Steven tantrumming about Abbey for playing the game, calling her weak and making her cry. This led to everyone rallying around the AFL play before blindsiding him and sending his closest ally Nova from the game.

Leading to the best post-boot comment from Jonathan, noting that he once again skated through to victory. Fucking iconic.

Things were going downhill the next at Camp Champ where Nova’s Kitchen was tragically under new management and while Ross tried to impress everyone with his delivery service, nobody seems thrilled by his efforts. Though let’s be honest, he did do a killer job on cooking up a pair of shoes. Needless to say, he “is Nova it.”

We checked in with the Contenders where beautiful Shaun was feeling down, missing his son’s fifth birthday. And what I wouldn’t give to give him a hug. Thankfully, I guess, he found a good friend in Daisy, who helped him draw a birthday message on the sand while sharing stories of how much they miss their families. So you know today’s reward is going to be for some form of love, no? Before we get a chance to find out, Shaun discovered the Contenders equivalent of the hidden immunity idol Janine found the day before and despite it being of no use to him – yet – he felt good. Being a sweet, stunning man, he immediately decided to pass it off to one of the Champions, and hoped that it will get him in good should they meet up.

Back at Camp Champ Steven was still floating on shock after surviving tribal council at the expense of his closest ally. He decided that the most important thing was making friends, so started working on his social game. Which involved telling David that he was shocked at how bigger role the social game plays, leading to a thorough roasting from the model. Sadly David seemed to be getting a bit too confident in his position and honestly, that makes me so nervous. He decided that the one thing he needs to complete his top dog status is an idol and that Janine would be his key to getting one. Before he had a chance to confront her about the idol, she pulled him aside and filled him in on the stipulations, and together they formulated a plan to orchestrate a trade off at an upcoming challenge.

With that Jonathan was manifested for the reward challenge where they would face off in a game of football in the shadows, with two kickers stood on podiums awaiting the ball to kick a goal. It was for fish and chips, so everyone was positively thrilled however let’s be honest, three footballers vs. one makes it a no brainer for the Champs, right? Shaun, John, Matt and Andy faced off against E.T, Luke, David and Simon, and while Shaun was first to the ball, Simon scored the first point for the Champs. Baden, John, Sam and Sarah were then defeated by Steven, Janine, Ross and Abbey. David, Simon, E.T. and Pia went 3-0 against Shaun, John, Daisy and Matt. Shaun, Daisy, Sam and Hannah lost the next point, this time to Simon, Janine, Pia and Abbey but again, we’re the winners, watching Shaun and Simon wrestling with the former’s speedos getting plenty of airtime. Luke, David, Steven and Simon, finally lost a point to Andy, John, Shaun and Matt. More importantly David and Shaun had a little pow wow on their way off the course, telling each other about the idols and promising to trade them tomorrow. The Champions then won the final point and may I add, I predicted it.

The Champions were overwhelmed to discover a shack by the beach with a table fully laden with fish, chips, and if Jeff were here, all the fixings. Mid-gorge David discovered newspapers in the corner featuring them and their starring achievements, the highlights being David’s white speedos, the headline of Last Man Standing after Steven won the Gold medal and E.T. in his speedo with my love Tina Turner. We also learnt that Luke has a six week old daughter waiting for him back at home, who they tragically learnt had cystic fibrosis just before heading out to the island and I can’t stop crying.

We checked back in with the Contenders where Shaun was second guessing his mid-challenge chat with David, worried he won’t follow through. He spoke to Daisy and she assured him the risk was worth it. So why do I feel so nervous? Right on cue, that night we went back to Camp Champ where Janine told David she wanted to keep the idol in case of a swap – Queen – leading to David coming up with plan B, fashioning a fake idol and taking Janine’s note to help sell it is real. While it is a great plan, if it gets Shaun booted, I will riot. Plus David calling himself a golden God in celebration isn’t cute, despite being accurate.

Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where Shaun and David handed over their real and fake idols respectively. They then learnt that seven tribe members will be locked in cages, with the rest of the tribe racing through obstacles to rescue them … before releasing sandbags, solving a puzzle and then knocking the completed puzzle off the ledge with the sandbags. Matt and John got the Contenders out to a slight lead, which was quickly destroyed as the Champions picked up momentum with every person they collected. Eventually they all caught up at the puzzle where Baden and Andy made quick work of the puzzle, overtaking Ross and Abbey, giving Andy a huge advantage when it came to knocking the blocks back off. Try as Abbey might, she was no match for Andy who once again secured immunity for the Contenders.

The mood was ridiculously sombre back at camp, with the tribe sick of losing, none more so than E.T. who is sick of people blowing the lead he gives them. Time after time. David seemed to be the only one smiling, telling Janine about his successful fake for real idol trade before doubling down on the cocky speak, making me so damn nervous. The alliance then decided to split the vote, nervous that Steven has an idol despite their alliance having three in the first two weeks. David approached E.T. and Simon, telling them to vote for Steven. Well actually strong-armed, making Pia, Abbey and Janine nervous that E.T. and Simon will now try something to counteract the arrogance.

As you would expect E.T. was pissed and decided that they should approach Ross to try and get him to flip back to him, Simon and Steven and get rid of Pia. Sorry E.T, I now hope you fail. Which seems likely because Pia watched them try and recruit Ross. She then approached Janine and David to share her suspicion that Ross will flip, and tried to get them to stack all the votes on Steven instead of splitting and risking one of them – likely her – going home.

At tribal council E.T. reiterated that he is sick of the tribe choking mid-challenge while Steven, David and Luke whispered about the upcoming vote and who they planned to target. E.T. wasn’t thrilled about the talk, concerned that it meant he would be next on the chopping block. Ross then put his hand up and said that he deserves to go home after botching the challenge before Steven said that if the vote was based on the challenge, it would definitely mean that he, Simon and E.T. would be safe tonight. While he and David started to throw shade at each other, Pia spoke up and said that she believes there is a target on her back tonight. This lead to Steven saying she has been carried through the challenges, which she found frustrating and pointed out all the times that she has been better than others in the challenges. Talk then turned to who was in charge of the alliance, with them all agreeing that they have a voice and hope to move past the tension tomorrow. Steven then alluded to having an idol or Ross forgetting who to vote for, making Abbey, Pia, Janine, Luke and David extremely nervous as they headed off to vote.

Thankfully for Queen Pia, everyone held firm and poor Steven was iced from the tribe. I mean, couldn’t skate through. I mean, you’ll have an ice time at Ice World. Fuck – I’m going down an ad rabbit hole. Despite the minor shade I’ve been sending Steven’s way, I love him dearly, having met at Brisbane’s aforementioned Ice World. While he was learning to speed skate, I was training to become a figure skater. While I was banned from the sport after an epic on-ice tantrum after botching a triple axel – failing to land one – Steven took me under his wing and we became the best of friends, lovingly ribbing each other ever since. I mean, I wouldn’t make a Steven Bradberry Doughnut Cobbler if I didn’t love the icon.

 

teven Bradbury about to inhale my Steven Bradberry Doughnut Cobbler.

 

Thankfully I made something aggressively sweet to dull the pain of Australia’s Gold medalist turned walking verb’s boot. A sweet, sticky pool of berries, topped with spiced, fluffy donuts are the only thing to cheer up our fallen – no pun intended, but super glad it worked out this way – icon. Outside of a Snickers.

Enjoy!

 

teven Bradbury inhaling my Steven Bradberry Doughnut Cobbler.

 

Steven Bradberry Doughnut Cobbler
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
250g blueberries
250g raspberries
200g granny smith apples, cored and diced
200g pears, cored and diced
1 cup muscovado sugar
⅓ cup almond meal
2 tsp ground cinnamon
8 fresh Shannen Doughertynuts, halved horizontally
Vanilla Ice Cream, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 160°C.

Combine the berries, apple, pear, sugar, meal and cinnamon in a large bowl and transfer into a baking dish, leaving a couple of centimetres from the top. Cover with foil and bake for half an hour, or until the apples and pears are tender. Arrange the doughnuts on top, to form an homage to a checkered roof.

Return to oven for 20 minutes or golden and crisp. Leave to rest for 5 minutes before serving, covered in mountains of Vanilla Ice Cream.

 

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Miloš Formilkshake

Dessert, Drink, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold, Sweets

This year’s Oscar Gold celebration – Call Me By Your Gold – is about to reach its crescendo and while that always makes me sad, I am glad that I got to hang out with my dear friends Em, Reese, Gustavo, Tilda and today, my delightful, two time Oscar winning director Miloš Forman.

While I didn’t meet Miloš until the mid-90s when he directed my dear friend Courtney Love in the The People vs. Larry Flynt, our bond was almost instantaneous. Unlike how my friendships normally play out, Miloš saw talent in me and encouraged me to go into directing.

Given it is behind the camera however, I ignored him and maybe that is why I’m tragically still Oscar-less. Oh god, that is an awful thought.

Anyway before I can really reflect on where my choices have gotten me, let’s get to the odds. As I jumped into the delorean to go back and hang with my recently departed friend, I settled on Alfonso Cuaron taking out Cinematography, Documentary Short going to Period. End of Sentence. and Documentary Feature to Free Solo, despite everyone loving the notorious RBG. While Alfonso is the safe bet to take out Best Director, I think Spike Lee will spoil and finally win a competitive Oscar. Because I am now leaning towards him losing Best Screenplay. Unless he doesn’t, in which case Alfons has this in the bag.

While that is a sad thought to finish on, my Miloš Formilkshake is the perfect thing to sweeten your day. And bring joy to any date with a lost friend. If you too can time travel, obvi.

 

 

Milo is probably the most iconically Australian thing you could possibly have when getting home from school. While this number doesn’t feature a 50:50 ratio of milo to milk like my 13 year old version, it is still delicious. Thick and malty, it is perfect.

Enjoy!

 

 

Miloš Formilkshake
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
3 cups Vanilla Ice Cream
½ cup milk
¼ cup milo

Method
Chuck everything in a blender.

Blitz until combined.

Down.

 

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Elizapple Jaloulson

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the semi-newly formed Tiva tribe were divided down gender lines with the brochachos aligning leaving Gabby and Alison left out and aligned by default. Meanwhile over at Vuku Alec turned on Kara and the Goliaths to take out Natalia – or maybe it was the pizza curse – while Elizabeth and Carl continued to feud. Finally Jabeni continued their losing way allowing Mike and Nick to set the tone for the rest of the game, taking out Lyrsa and saving Angelina from herself. Though she still doesn’t have a jacket, so that’s a thing.

We opened up at Tiva where they were enjoying their morning coffee before they were interrupted by two speed boats bringing Jabeni and Vuku to move in. Yep people, we’ve got a merge. Carl quickly explained that the individual game requires people to play individually – thanks Carl – through he is jonesing to get rid of Elizabeth and down a beer, so that’s that. John too was thrilled to smash some food at the merge feast and reclaim his gains, while Alec died and went to beer heaven. John channeled Kellyn and was hoping to go Goliath strong, however was wanting to save his bestie Christian. Gabby decided to step her game up and surveyed the merge table and signs for an advantage, Carl, Angelina and Nick shared intel from their respective tribes, with Alec’s flip quickly outed. Much to Angelina’s chagrin.

Everyone started laying down for their food coma before Elizabeth suggested the tribe name Kalokalo, much to Carl’s rage. Leading to him slurring his way around the tribe begging them to get rid of her. Nick and Christian reconvened on a water run, thrilled to still be bros before Nick shared that Dan is rumoured to be the proud owner of an idol. Speaking of whom, Dan was reconvening with his girl Kara, sharing that he had found a second idol since they last cuddled and Kara was feeling super confident. Which isn’t ending well, right? Right on cue, Alec arrived for a Goliath reunion where they all gossiped about which David to take out first, with Angelina pushing for Christian and everyone else going for Elizabeth. Alec immediately took the plans back to Christian to commence a beautiful relationship and take over the game.

That night Elizabeth noticed Dan and Kara’s close bond as they chatted and let’s just say, it did not sit well with her.

The next day Mike was gagging for a soy latte while scoping out how best to move forward, locking in an alliance with Alison and Alec, and planning to bring Nick, Christian and Gabby in for a core alliance and TBH, I love it and want it to happen. Alec approached Gabby to gauge her support, with Mike and Nick joining them and it feels like it is happening. But then again, I thought Sandra, Aubry, Malcolm and Tony would actually align in Game Changers.

Not to be outdone, Elizabeth shared her Dan-Kara intel with Nick and Carl in an attempt to turn the tribe against them, despite the fact Carl hates her. She approached Alec to see if he’d be open to flipping and joining the Davids to take them out. Knowing it isn’t the best time for him to flip, he took the information back to Dan and Kara which caused Dan to completely freak out that someone would dare to target him. And the tantrum was not pretty.

My boy Jeff arrived for the first individual immunity challenge of the season where the tribe were required to swing a pendulum around a frame without knocking a statue over in the centre or losing momentum. You know, the one Tessa dominated in Australian Survivor last year. Poor Mike was the first one eliminated, followed quickly by Christian, Carl, Gabby and Kara. TBH it was way to hypnotic to watch closing so let’s just say it came down to Elizabeth and Alison, with Dr Alison following in Dr Tessa’s footsteps, taking out the challenge and snatching immunity.

Back at camp shit quickly hit the fan with Angelina continuing to argue Elizabeth isn’t a big enough threat and that the Goliaths should instead target Christian, unaware that most of the people she is talking to are aligned with him and she is coming across as too powerful. Dan was annoyed by her utilisation of military terminology and continued to seethe since Elizabeth wanted to get rid of him. Meanwhile Gabby was trying to encourage the Davids to come together and take control of their fates … by playing up how weak and terrible they are. Alec and Alison got together, concerned about voting out Christian since it burns all of their bridges. As such, they pulled in Dan and John to flip the vote back to Elizabeth. They then approached Angelina to talk about flipping the vote back which she was extremely open to. Well played girl, wait, no, she then complained to John and Alison about Dan and came across like she was throwing a tantrum because she didn’t get her way.

Despite her earlier plan not to share who they were planning to target, Angelina pulled Elizabeth aside and told her that the Goliaths were coming for her and while I appreciate wanting to win over the jury, I don’t see this ending well. Elizabeth briefly had a breakdown before returning to camp and try and rally the Davids to flip the vote, vowing to destroy them at tribal. Which seems … late?

At tribal council Alison was grateful to be immune, Christian spoke about factorials, Alec alluded to shifting alliances and Angelina continued to struggle at tribal council. Smelling blood in the water, Elizabeth used that moment to go in and out Angelina for letting her know about the fact she was voting her out. Everyone quickly jumped in and called out her early jury management, leading to all the Goliaths whispering amongst themselves and questioning her loyalty. Gabby broke down calling out Angelina for being angry that Elizabeth dared to try and save herself. Seeing the writing on the wall, Angelina whipped out the tears as the Goliaths continued to whisper and she saw the end of her game quickly approaching. Elizabeth continued to go in on Angelina, while Alec and Dan got up to whisper and lock in their plans, while Angelina reiterated that she is voting for Elizabeth and hot damn, she is looking forward to it.

Tragically for my girl Liz, everyone gladly followed suit – and side note, well played Gabby making Angelina look like a demon and slyly locking up Liz’s jury vote before booting her – and sent her out of the game. Thankfully, she was sent to become the Queen of the Jury and if you can’t win the game, that is the real title you want, no? Liz being the absolute saint that she is, my girl took her boot in her stride. Nay, she may have been down, but she pull herself up by her bootstraps, which I think is a country term but am too lazy to google – lemme know if i’m wrong, ok? Anywho, she is bubbling ball of joy and as such, we laughed, cried from so much laughing, then cried from overdoing it with the celebratory-commissatory Elizapple Jaloulson.

 

 

To quote the great Chris Klein, there is nothing better than warm apple pie. Or at least I think that was the take away from American Pie other than don’t stick your junk in an apple pie lest you want third degree burns and well deserved shame? Again anywho, way off track – hot, sticky apple and blueberry encased by flaky strips of pastry are probably a more iconic duo than the Mason-Dixon alliance. Better yet, the strips hopefully have enough sharp edges to ward off a horny Jason Biggs.

So enjoy!

 

 

Elizapple Jaloulson
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
4 granny smith apples, cored and sliced
1 cup frozen blueberries, thawed
1 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ cup muscovado sugar
2 sheets puff pastry, halved
¼ cup almond meal
milk, for brushin’
demerara sugar, for sprinklin’
Vanilla Ice Cream, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine apples, blueberry, cinnamon and sugar in a large bowl and toss until well coated.

Place two pastry halves on a lined baking sheet and spread the almond meal over both, leaving a 1cm border around the edge. Pile the filling on top of each, again leaving the border.

Gently fold each of the remaining halves in half lengthways and cut – along the folded side – on an angle to form geometric slits, stopping 1cm from the edges. Gently unfold and lay over the heaped fruit, crimping the edges to join.

Brush with milk, sprinkle with demerara and transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Serve piping hot – safety first, obvi – with a generous dollop of Vanilla Ice Cream.

 

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JT Muirbread and Butter Pudding

Baking, Bread, Dessert, Survivor NZ, Survivor NZ: Thailand, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor New Zealand, the tribe swap brought about shifts in the tribal alliances as Dave was reunited with his high school bestie Matt and Dylan found safety in some desperate Chanians who could save him from the evil Khangkhaws. As such, Chani threw the challenge lead by Renee, Dave and Arun, to take out one of the biggest threats. While Renee and Arun pushed for Matt, Dave ultimately worked his magic and changed the vote to Josh who, TBH, is too sweet for this game.

Back at camp Dylan was feeling very happy with himself and the flip, while Matt was completely blindsided by the blindside. Though let’s be honest, it could have been far worse so he should be happy. He and Dylan then awkwardly tried to banter through the awkwardness while Adam continued to play his ignore Dylan game, no doubt waiting for the best time to bitch to us before saying something hilarious and making me confused about how I should feel about him.

We visited Khangkhaw the next day where Tess was terrified to discover a scorpion in the mailbox, much to the amusement of everyone back of camp. This, my friends, is comedy gold. They surmised said mail was for an endurance reward challenge and as such, they got to work carbo loading and preparing for the challenge ahead. Well except Lisa who spent her time worrying about either Josh or Matt being eliminated last night and JT who was feeling absolutely rubbish and felt like his experience was wasting away with his health.

Meanwhile over at Chani, Adam and Renee who caught up on the last tribal council with Adam sick of the villains on his tribe and Renee wanting Matt’s scalp for daring to throw a vote on her at the last tribal. Not to be outdone, Matt vented about tribal council to Dave and shared that throwing the challenge is what upset him. Oh and he obvi told us that he does not trust Arun in the slightest, and he doesn’t know how he can trust Dave while he is still in the game.

Matty Chis arrived on the scene for long gestating reward challenge with Adam walking in with the angriest of faces, while Brad and Tess were completely shocked to see that Josh was booted. Despite it being the most logical move for OG Chani and Dylan from the left right out. The challenge involved one person holding on tightly to a big fat pole – my dream – while two members of the opposing tribe run down and try and pull them off and drag them away. Given it was for a pair of hens, feed and dozen eggs, it was definitely worth. Dave and Adam ran to remove Eve from her post while Brad and Tara attempted to pull Zadam off. The boys completely dominated Eve and she toddled back to her tribemates, leaving Arun and Dave so guilt stricken that they asked Matt to stop the challenge immediately and hand the reward to Khangkhaw. While Khangkhaw were willing to come up with a work around, they stuck to their guns and who would have thought that Survivor NZ would be giving us a lesson about violence against women.

Dylan wasn’t thrilled by the decision to forego the massive reward, while the rest of Chani were happy about their decision. Particularly Arun, despite wishing he did it before literally dragging Eve through the mud. Proving my theory that Dylan and Adam should just fuck, Adam was also annoyed by the fact the boys decided to quit the challenge and said they were just dramatic. Just as a reminder, it was the villains he was talking about earlier that opted to quit the challenge as it sent a bad message about violence against women. Meanwhile over at Khangkhaw the chickens were settling in nicely while JT tried to turn the conversation away from gender and instead said it was all about size … and that he would have relished the opportunity to hold on to the pole. But really, who wouldn’t? Tara and Tess quickly boiled up some eggs to give themselves sustenance with JT still too ill to partake.

This is looking concerning, no?

The Outpost rolled around with Lisa hoping for an opportunity to further prove how “loyal”, “honest” and “not in it to win” she is and Dave quickly snatching the chance away from Dylan, hoping for food. Sadly for Dave, they were playing for a reward … though he appeared to have an idol clue on his table, so it wasn’t a huge loss. They both had to use a collection of letters in front of them to form a five word phrase which would advise them of the prize. Almost instantaneously, Lisa spelt out that she can steal a vote at the very next tribal council she attends and she is thrilled to try and reverse the curse of Fishbach and Cirie. Lisa and Dave add a quick chat to get information from each other without giving anything away. Though based on the fact Lisa continued to play the sweet, kind lady schtick, I’d call her the winner of the trip. Despite Dave actually getting an idol clue in his travels.

Lisa returned to camp and quickly tried to downplay her advantage, saying it was simply a piece of information. Sadly JT tore her story apart instantly and continued to back her into the corner, and it appeared, sowed some distrust with Brad. He then literally guessed it was a double vote, could tell he was right by her reaction and damn, WHY HAVE I BEEN SLEEPING ON JT?

Meanwhile back at Chani, Dave made a beeline for the well to find the idol. Which he did, leaving him feeling a heady mix of nerves, excitement and I assume arousal. In any event, he assured us it was Dave’s idol and not a team idol. He then wandered into camp and quickly caught everyone up on the challenge and Lisa’s vote steal reward. Meaning she has definitely made herself appear more distrustful heading into the merge.

Thankfully Lisa was back at camp sharing the true details of her reward with Brad and Tara, while JT skulked about in the bushes. Concerned about the closing gap between tribe numbers, they decided it was wise to throw the challenge and guarantee another Chani goes. Sadly for then, Renee and Dylan were also keen to throw the challenge and take out Matt to tie up the numbers, much to Dave’s dismay.

With everyone planning to throw immunity, we arrived at the challenge where each tribe was required to maneuver a box of heavy cubes through a series of obstacles before making a mathematical equation that equals 20. Well, if they were wanting to win. Which they’re not. Despite some of their worst attempts, Chani got out to an early lead and were working on the equation before Khangkhaw were even halfway through. Sadly – or happily, I don’t even know who is doing what TBH – Khangkhaw came from nowhere to snatch the win, despite neither of the problems making sense. Aren’t we meant to do multiplications and divisions first? Anyway Lisa was sick – how often do we see the medics?! – and as such, she wasn’t on her A-game to throw the challenge much to her heartache.

We returned to Chani where Arun was concerned about the fact Lisa’s vote steal lives to see another day, since he is her most likely target. More concerned about the immediate danger, Adam made it his goal to flip Arun and Dave on Dylan instead while Matt pulled Arun aside and tried to see if he could sway him. Sensing Arun’s concern about the extra vote, Matt used that to open the door – is it $10k and he’s Fergie? – and tell him how he can use his bond with Lisa to get the intel and protecting him at the merge. Meanwhile Dave and Adam caught up, with the former starting to get frustrated about having to deflect the vote from Matt. Despite being all in with Dylan to vote out Matt, Adam got to work sowing seeds of doubt with Renee about Dylan’s loyalty and speculated that he will go straight to Lisa because of her advantage. Dylan appeared to get nervous and spoke to Adam – has hell frozen over? – in the shelter, with Adam telling him the others convinced him to vote for Matt. Which totally means Dylan is going, right?

Instead of heading over to tribal, we randomly checked back in with Khangkhaw with Matty Chis dropping by camp to check in on JT’s illness. In the space of me typing that sentence, JT shared that the housecall wasn’t rando and that he was actually quitting the game due to his illness not improving. While his bestie Eve took it in her stride, poor Tara was completely shocked and started to breakdown.

Given she was still in the game, I heartlessly ignored her pain and instead turned my attention to getting JT on the boat and nursing back to health. Whilst also berating him for quitting the game. Picture Tyra Banks screaming at Tiffany, but like 90% angrier. I mean, JT is a superfan and has a killer collection of shirts and I was heartbroken to see him leave. Though not heartbroken enough not to share my JT Muirbread and Butter Pudding which I threatened to throw into the damn lake for Tara to eat.

 

 

Creamy, rich and oh so simple, there is something life-affirming and comforting about a bread and butter pudding. Maybe it is the bread. Or the butter … or the custard. You know?

Enjoy!

 

 

JT Muirbread and Butter Pudding
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
2 cups milk
1 cup cream
5 eggs
⅓ cup muscovado sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 tsp cinnamon
8-12 slices white bread, crusts removed like on a toddler’s sandwich
butter, softened
⅔ cup sultanas
demerara sugar, to sprinkle
Vanilla Ice Cream, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C.

Whisk the milk, cream, eggs, muscovado, vanilla and cinnamon in a bowl until well combined.

Butter both side of each slice of bread, cut into triangles and haphazardly place into a baking dish, sprinkling with sultanas as you go. Pour the custard over the bread and leave to rest for ten minutes.

Sprinkle with the demerara sugar and transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and crisp. Serve immediately with a generous hunk of Vanilla Ice … Cream.

Devour.

 

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