Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos

Australian Survivor, Drink, Survivor, Survivor: Australia V The World, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the World tribe desperately hunted for the key to the box they won during the opening challenge, with fate – or the Survivor Gods – shining down on our beloved Parvati. As she jagged it and used it into solidifying an alliance with the women. Sadly, upon opening the box they discovered that the power was knowing that JLP’s podium was home to an idol. And with them all assuming it was the only one on offer, Kass was able to find the camp idol without anyone noticing. At the immunity challenge, George tried to play mind games with the legends before Sarah dropped out of nowhere, due to Lisa being a challenge beast. Back at camp Sarah got jealous of Kirby growing closer with Shonee, so asked Kirby to vote her out as a test of loyalty. Sadly for her Shonee did what she does best, rallying the troops to take revenge on George and despite Janine trying to dump some votes on Shon, our queen sent George from the game.

Back at camp Janine quickly apologised to Shonee for putting votes on her, with her being an icon and not even caring. She spoke about how funny it was that she was able to cut George before he joined the 100 day club, capping his three season run at 99 days. Oh and while she said she wasn’t annoyed about Janine and Luke, she told us that she thought they were stupid for dumping votes on her given they are already the clear minority. But you know, she is feeling like a King now that she has snipped off George, so she won’t even let it get to her. Plus, Luke was so glad George was gone that they clearly now had something in now.

The next day we checked in with the World tribe where Lisa was busy doing laundry with Parvati and ugh, I love to see this for Lisa. And TBH Parvati, proving my ‘you can’t win with the same game twice’ theory wrong, given she is playing Micronesia again and dominating. She told us that the women are working together and will use the tribal council idol to their advantage when they need to. As such, she caught up with Cirie and they agreed that while the boys need to go, she knows Tony is a massive target and as such, she needs him around as a shield specifically. And Tommi is such a sweet, helpful guy, that he is just too likeable to stay. Speaking of the boys, they were busy pledging their undying loyalty to each other, with Tony planning for them to join up with the Aussies after the merge.

As that was happening, the women were joining up to plot their next steps, with Lisa and Kass trying to put the target on Tony as the bigger threat – aka because they are secretly aligned with Tommi – while Parvati clearly tried to keep Tony from being targeted, assuring them he will stick with the majority no matter what, so they are safest with him. The problem was Lisa, however, clearly pointing out that while Tony may be happy to go with the majority, it can’t be the end point of his game. Particularly as a two time winner, so that is not something they cannot trust. Cirie thankfully saw that both Lisa and Parvati being so locked in could lead to a little bit of tension, so reminded everyone they don’t have to worry about it right now and they can come to a decision together when they do need to worry. Splitting everyone up and nipping the tension in the bud.

Back at the Aussie camp Janine was still stressed about begging Luke to throw a couple of votes on Shonee to protect herself. And while it may have painted a target on them, it did lead to her and Luke pledging to go to the end together, so that is something. And the King of the Jungle is always ready to do something wild to get there. Kirby meanwhile was bathing under the watchful eye of Sarah, while the latter grew more and more paranoid that Kirby was angry with her and as such, she knew she needed to diversify her options. Sarah went to talk to Janine, suggesting that maybe now is the time to get rid of Kirby given she is giving off weird vibes. And while she quickly changed her mind to suggesting Shonee, it gave Luke and Janine all the ammunition they needed to make a play for Kirby. 

That night as everyone slept, Janine pulled Kirby aside to let her know what Sarah said and while Kirby had not lost her trust in Sarah before, she sure did after speaking to Janine. And was now ready to take a shot.

The tribes joined up with Jonathan in the jungle where they were gagged to learn that tribal immunity is not up for grabs. Instead each tribe would compete amongst themselves for an individual immunity necklace, as all of them are going to tribal council tonight. As for the challenge, they would each sit and hold a block against a pole with just their legs. Aka something perfect for our pilates queens. Sadly Lisa wasn’t able to compete medically, however, as the rest of the tribemates lined up. Almost instantly Luke started to struggle, while Parvati and Kirby whispered to each other about wanting to work together at the merge. Luke meanwhile sounded like he was taking a massive shit before dropping at just four and a half minutes. As everyone spoke about Shonee lasting over an hour the last time she did a variation of the challenge, Kirby dropped at the fifteen minute mark, leaving Shonee, Sarah and Janine to fight for their necklace. After twenty minutes JLP decided to make things spicy and forced everyone to put their hands behind their heads, which cost Janine and Shonee, handing Sarah immunity.

Let us pause here to remember that Shonee literally had a baby a few months ago and did that. She is both a mother, and mother. That is Queen behaviour.

The entire World tribe was still going at 45 minutes, so JLP made everyone go to a single foot, while the other one just had to hang in space. Which cost Tommi almost instantly. Tony was next to go at 53 minutes followed by Cirie, leaving Parvati and Kass to battle for the final necklace. And after an hour, Parvati suggested they make a little deal, agreeing to drop during the next endurance challenge if Kass drops for her now. Which Kass promptly refused. They continued to battle for over an hour and twenty four minutes, before Kass struggled too much, agreeing to the deal before dropping, handing Parvati the other immunity. Before sending the tribes back to camp, JLP casually dropped that despite both tribe going to tribal council, only one person would be going home. 

We followed the Aussies back to camp where Janine was grateful that nobody was giving off challenge beast out of the Aussies, so the World tribe wouldn’t view them as threats come the merge. Kirby meanwhile was gutted that Sarah was immune, given that voting out her number one was her only plan. That being said, talk turned to what the twist could be with Shonee telling everyone that they had a double tribal council in All Stars where the two voted out would then face off in a fire challenge, with the loser of that going home. Shonee then told Luke that she would be voting for Janine, given she voted for her. And given Luke did not want that, he decided the only logical thing would be to woo Kirby to their side and get rid of Shonee instead. And while Kirby hated the idea, she knew she had to keep her options open. After catching up and locking in the Shonee vote, Kirby caught up with Shonee and agreed that they would both like to take out Janine. Unless they all get to vote as one, in which case they’d love to all take out an international instead.

We checked in with the World tribe where they were all speculating what would be happening, with them speculating that maybe only those who are immune would be voting. Parvati whispered to Tony that if that is the case, he is safe and to just relax. Everyone split up to have conversations assuming it is something else, leaving Tony alone. This made him super paranoid about what could happen, so he tried to stick to everyone like glue so they couldn’t say his name. Parvati and Cirie assured him that Tommi was the target, just as Kass and Lisa were busy trying to protect Tommi and get rid of Tony. Agreeing that while they trust Cirie and want to trust Parvati, they only truly can trust each other. Kass approached Cirie in the hope that she could sway her to their side, and while Cirie admitted to us that she would prefer to keep the Americans safe, she would prefer to keep the women’s alliance together even more. And if it means sacrificing Tony, so be it. Because Cirie was also concerned about how tribal council could actually play out.

Cirie and Tony were busy catching up in the shelter with the latter growing more and more sketchy about the vibes. As such, Tony disappeared to talk to Tommi and let him know that Parvati said that he was the target. And that all the women will tell Tommi that Tony is the target. The two-time winner then realised that Parvati and Cirie clearly know where the key to the locked box is, as everyone had appeared to have just forgotten about it. And as such, he would just pretend he has an idol and cause as much chaos as possible.

The tribes came together at tribal council where Shonee told everyone that she believes each tribe would be voting someone out and that then the duo would face off in a fire challenge to stay. Jonathan didn’t drag it out, however, quickly sharing that it was not what was happening. Instead, each tribe would get to pull rocks to decide who would face off in a fire challenge and the winner of that challenge would win immunity for their tribe while the other would vote someone out. And given Sarah was shitting herself when she drew the white rock, things were not looking good for the Aussies. Even though she was up against Cirie, who famously lost the game after losing the fire challenge in her first season. So maybe all hope wasn’t lost.

Sarah and Cirie took their places at the stations with Sarah sweetly checking if Cirie was in danger before they got started. Both of them got to work, with Tony desperately coaching Cirie while Kirby was looking after things for Sarah. While Shonee looked ready to burst into tears as Sarah struggled, she was ultimately the first to get a spark. And while her methods were unconventional, she managed to get a fire and quickly built around it, filling tribal council with smoke before Cirie eventually got a spark. Sadly for her, however, the swing method didn’t work for her, as Sarah’s fire was furious, licking at the rope and sending the Aussies back to camp.

Side note, if Cirie makes fire in the final four of Survivor 50 and Sarah’s method gets her the win, we all owe Sarah our life.

Once they exited, Cirie spoke about how disappointed she was to have caused their tribe to lose someone. Kass joked about spending too much time strategising, rather than practising fire. While Tony was disappointed to now be voting someone out, he didn’t really get to strategise, while Tommi felt like the immunity challenge was a waste of time. Which Parvati joked she would beg to differ. Tony then got up to start whispering and when everyone told him they didn’t know who they were voting for, Tony tied his shoe around his neck and assured them all that he would be safe no matter what, as would the people he spoke to. The girls then got up to talk things through, with Parvati assuring them that he was just making a big play and there is no reason to worry.

Everyone came back together with Tony asking if Parvati told all the women that she had the key, and while she denied it – and telling him, if she did have it – he eventually admitted he wasn’t told, but he saw her with it. As Parvati and Tony argued back and forth, wishing things didn’t have to be like this. The internationals got up to talk about what to do, agreeing if they all just vote for Tony they would be safe. Cirie joined them, with everyone agreeing to get rid of Tony. However when she sat down, Tommi assured Lisa and Kass that he would be voting for Cirie and if they joined him, they would also be completely fine. Everyone sat back down with Tony and Parvati continuing to fight before agreeing on one thing – that they are both well and truly ready to vote.

And vote they did, before Tony got up to pretend to play an idol, as Cirie whispered to Parvati to go snatch the podium idol if he did play one. Thankfully he didn’t, as the women held firm and the rest of the votes piled up on Tony and sent him from the game. As Parvati lingered back to snatch the idol, as JLP held her torch for her. Like a damn icon.

As Tony arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being so entertaining. And more importantly this season, for becoming mother. Because while all the women this season have got their dues for being mother, Tony has also been mother. While he was a little bit confused about what I was talking about, he could tell it was meant as the ultimately compliment, so took as such. As while I was always rooting for someone else in his previous seasons, this time I truly fell in love with him. And while he was the fourth boot, I would argue he once again cemented his legacy. Because there is no way a two-time winner is ever getting near a final tribal council again. So he had to settle for a famous Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos.

While the world fell in love with this delightful drink thanks to Emma D’arcy, it is easy to understand why she fell for it. A little sweet, a little bitter and oh so refreshing, it is the perfect thing to toast the game of the greatest male Survivor player of all time.

Enjoy!

Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
60ml sweet vermouth
60ml campari
60ml prosecco
orange slice, to serve

Method
Fill an old-fashioned glass with ice.

Top with vermouth and campari, and stir.

Top with prosecco, give a final stir, garnish with an orange slice and down. Repeat as required.


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Kent Miller-Feuillendle

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor everything was on the up and up for the Brawns after winning their first immunity challenge. After a little scene with Zen talking about his hunger, the tribes arrived at the reward challenge where JLP announced that despite it only being episode three, it is a doozy. Eleven individual bowls of fries, ready for the loading. The Brawn tribe dominated the challenge 5-0, however Zen appeared to do something with his hand while wrestling Kaelan. Back at camp, Paulie found a clue to the hidden immunity idol in his bowl, so quickly went hunting while the rest of the tribe went swimming. It was then that Zen realised his hand had doubled in size. We then fast forwarded to the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see him return from medical leave with a cast on his hand due to a badly broken finger, which sadly meant he was being pulled from the game.

As everyone wiped away their tears, we did a hard pivot and turned our attention back to the immunity challenge where they would race over a series of obstacles to collect rope and bamboo. They would then use said rope and bamboo to fashion a big ol’ stick to knock a bottle off a shelf to release a key. Next, they would use said key to unlock coconuts and then use said coconuts to knock out tiles. On the first obstacle Kent almost became the second medevac as he took a hard fall on his head. Both tribes were neck and neck – no pun intended – with Kent working at a feverish pace, clearly knowing his terrible game hasn’t made him many friends. Brawns started to pull away as the Brains descended into chaos, with Rich barking orders and annoying the hell out of all the women. Somehow things got closer with both tribes shooting coconuts, as Kent proved himself valuable to the Brains knocking tile after tile. Just sadly not as quickly as Ben for the Brawns, who secured their second immunity challenge.

Back at camp Kent immediately got back to work targeting Myles, lecturing him in front of the tribe, which only made him more dislikable. As such, the dolls rightly got to work locking in a plan against Kent instead, and immediately looped in Myles. After assuring him to not worry about any other plan he hears. The Coven joined the rest of the tribe to lock in the Kent plan, which frustrated AJ, who felt it was a waste of time given he will always be a target. But given AJ is literally wearing a different outfit in his confessional, I think he will be on the wrong side of the vote tonight.

AJ pulled Myles aside to float a plan to get rid of Logan instead, given she is popular, likeable and influential. Like Shonee, remember. With Myles apparently open to it, AJ went to Kaelan before finding a potential woman to flip to his side. Deciding Ally was the most likely to jump, he checked in with her and while she was open to it, he didn’t actually name names. Sadly she went straight to Logan assuming his plan was Rich, and floated getting rid of him instead. Which Logan, obviously, was 100% fine with. She then ran the plan past Laura, unaware that she was really the plan. While Laura tried to talk her out of it, she doubled down on hating Rich so much that getting rid of him would be best for her mental health. They then hilariously caught up with AJ, who had to pretend the plan was still Kent.

AJ finally pulled Ally and Max aside, who were gagged to learn that Logan was his actual target and as such, pulled the pin in the plan and went back to getting rid of Kent. As Ally assured him she is fine to get rid of Logan, just not yet. Despite AJ begging Ally to not say anything, she immediately took the information back to Logan, who was rightly pissed and looped in Laura, begging her to flip the vote on AJ and send him home instead. Which is 100% what would happen to a poker player, no?

We finally ventured to tribal council where Kent spoke about how much easier this tribal council will be compared to their first. Logan admitted she has an idea of who is potentially aligned, but still isn’t confident in knowing who to trust. Myles spoke about being a free agent and just wanting to prove himself as such to downplay the perception that he is playing too hard. Rich shared that there are multiple people on the block tonight, with Logan coyly pointing out someone may not even know they’re on the block. As she whispered to Laura about how much she wants to see AJ go. Kent then spoke about having an exceptional read on the situation and felt it was unlikely he was being blindsided. AJ spoke about the fear of making the wrong move and not getting your target out. Which Logan laughed about, admitting she is struggling to decide whether to go for instant gratification of getting someone out or planning three steps ahead. While Laura tried to caution everyone to think their moves out carefully.

With that, obviously, the tribe voted – Kent even more obviously for Myles – before the tribe stuck to the original plan and the votes piled up on Kent. Much to his shock and the utter jubilation of everyone at home. None more so than me. As Kent arrived at Loser Lodge, however, he was actually kind of sweet, so instead, I commiserated with him about his loss. Because as a super fan, that is one thing I can relate to. As such, I toasted him living out his dream, however short it may have lasted, with a gorgeously rich Kent Miller-Feuillendle.

Like the man himself, this little treat is oh so rich. But in this instance, it is a good thing. The custard is velvety and smooth, the pastry is crisp and light, creating the perfect quick and easy dessert. Only because this is a cheats version, obviously.

Enjoy!

Kent Miller-Feuillendle
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp custard powder
1 cup milk, plus extra for glazin’
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 ½ sheets puff pastry, thawed
⅔ cup thickened cream
1 cup icing sugar
2 tsp glucose syrup
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp cocoa powder

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C.

Combine the custard powder and a quarter of the milk in a saucepan until well combined. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla and remaining milk and cook over medium heat for about five minutes, or until the custard thickens. Remove from the heat and transfer to a bowl, covering with a piece of cling film directly touching the surface and chill for a couple of hours for an hour or so.

While the custard is chilling, place the pastry on a lined baking sheet and top with a second piece of baking paper, followed by a second baking tray, and bake for 20 minutes. Remove the top trays and bake for a further five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

To make the glaze, whisk the icing sugar, glucose and melted butter in a bowl with a little bit of milk, one tablespoon at a time, until you have a thick but pourable glaze. Remove a quarter of the glaze to another bowl and whisk in the cocoa.

When you’re almost ready to start assembling, whisk the cream until stiff peaks form and fold it through the custard mixture. Cut the pastry in half using a serrated knife and place one piece on a platter. Spread with half the custard cream, top with another sheet of pastry and the remaining cream before topping with the last piece of pastry. Pour over the white glaze, spreading evenly with a spatula. Drizzle lines of chocolate glaze lengthwise along the strip, before using a skewer or toothpick to create a pattern.

Pop in the fridge to set before devouring, greedily, thinking about burning the hats of teachers.


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Soa de Muesli Cookies

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in boobielicious Boobie Movie sequels in the vein of one of the best episodes of All Stars 2 featuring Thelma and Wheezy and the birth of doo-wa, but make it Barbie. But I’ve digressed. In record time. I mean, the first sentence! Everyone was kind of great this week, but Kween Kong dominated as the giant Jurassic Boobie and rightly took out her second win of the season. Then Ru had to split hairs, tragically going with Gala being overwhelmed by her look on the runway and Eva falling in and out of character as reason to be in the bottom. With the iconic Eva tragically going home.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to have lost Eva though Gala was thrilled to prove that she is a lip sync assassin on the global stage. But vowed to step it up this week to avoid showing those skills too often. Pythia meanwhile was heartbroken to be losing her besties week after week, which in turn breaks my heart because Pythia is the sweetest. Vanity spoke about how sure she was that she was going to lip sync because she is getting stuck further and further in her head. Kween sympathised about how hard that can be, sharing that she felt like that was her experience on her OG season. While Alyssa tried to give a pep talk about them being stars, as they remain while the room gets more spacious.

Oh and then Gala (almost) showed hole, which is important.

The next day the dolls were energised to slay another week, with Alyssa in particular thrilled to get out of the safe zone. Everyone congratulated Kween for getting her second win, before turning their attention to Gala’s survival. Thankfully she and Vanity were ready to rise from the bottom though, so all was right in the world. Or they are back in the bottom tonight. Talk turned to what this week’s challenge could be before Ru dropped by to put the girl’s through a little quick-drag flight mini challenge. With the make-up being done in the air, during a heavy bout of turbulence. And hot damn it was silly, fun and a solid reminder of the kind of challenges we enjoyed in the early years when there was an off season. That being said, there was allegedly a judging criteria somewhere and that handed Tessa the win. 

Ru asked the dolls to partner up with the sister they would like to have a drink with, leaving Nehellenia alone. Leaving her free to pick her throuple. Tessa and Alyssa formed one duo, with Kween and Gala, and Vanity and Soa the others, while Kitty and Pythia’s couple was joined by the aformentioned third, in the form of Nelly. Ru then explained that the pairings are important for this week’s maxi challenge as before the season, they were all asked to pack a suitcase of raw materials, which their partner would now be using to design a cocktail dress. So congratulations Tessa, because Alyssa’s supplies are going to be expensive. While Kween will be naked, given Gala loves to serve body and Kween has a lot of it.

After dropping that bomb, Ru exited and allowed the dolls to go through their new supplies. Soa was thrilled with Vanity’s golden fabric while Vanity was hoping the emerald green would be enough to get her rudemption. As predicted, Tessa was delighted by her luxe new materials while Alyssa was ready to break down looking at the scraps she inherited from Tessa. Literal scraps. Kween was excited that Gala actually pulled together a bunch of fabrics, looking forward to serving another design, given it is her bread and butter. While Gala was hoping to serve glamour with the lovely fabrics she inherited. Our throuple were a little more apprehensive as Nehellenia inherited two lycras from Kitty, along with a lace, much to her disgust. Kitty on the other hand was loving her suitcase from Pythia.

As they got to work on their looks, Soa grew more and more nervous about the process, though was hopeful there were enough terrible designers in the pack to help her scrape through one more time. Given Alyssa can’t sew, Tessa has questionable taste and Nehellenia was in tears over her fabrics and unable to focus. Kitty briefly checked in to see if she was ok, before flipping it and confronting her for being ungrateful for the multiple, expensive fabrics she inherited when other girls just got one option.

Before the fight could explode, Ru dropped by to kiki with Tessa continuing to delight in how well stocked Alyssa’s suitcase was and how she will be using it to her advantage. Alyssa meanwhile showed off her collection of scraps. Ru praised Alyssa for turning look after look each and every week, cautioning her to not be too boring with her design and oh Alyssa, you (may be) in danger girl. Soa meanwhile was going to glue, drape and hope for the best, Vanity was going rich-glam bow, Gala was going luxe whore and Kween was planning to serve Gala by way of Grace Jones. Nehellenia was still pressed about her fabric though her design looked exceptional, Kitty was planning to twin it with Ru and Pythia had essentially done her dress already and it looked incredible.

Oh and then Kitty handed Nehellenia a tagline in the form of ‘margherita pizza’, which delighted Ru to no end.

After Ru departed again, the dolls quickly buckled down to pull their dresses together. Which in Vanity’s case was just making it over and over again, as she kept changing her mind. Two-thirds of the throuple, on the other hand, were vibing, while Nehellenia was now battling with the sewing machine.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs with Gala ready to serve body-ody-ody, sharing that she would be padding today and trying something new. Soa meanwhile was lightening her make-up as Michelle requested, as Kween sweetly coached her how to work with the skin tone. Tessa was hoping her gown would finally get Alyssa to adopt her and if not, she would like an expensive meal to congratulate her on her win. Vanity meanwhile was spiralling, as she tried too many options the day before and was left with nothing more than scraps, so was literally working paper on to the new gown she was pulling together in the minutes before stepping on the runway.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the gorgeous Jasmine Tookes as Alyssa Edwards opened the 5 O’Clock Somewhere runway trying her best to enjoy her cheap fabric like only Katy Perry could. Alyssa’s words, which I co-sign. Tessa meanwhile was stunning, feeling all her oats and giving her best Alyssa. Soa’s dress lacked shape but hot damn, her make-up was stunning. Vanity somehow managed to pull the look together serving avant garde Poison Ivy, Kween served expensive frill neck lizard, Gala meanwhile looked like Alyssa Edwards doing Marilyn Monroe, Kitty was a silly delight, once again giving night on the town. Nehellenia looked lovely, though she herself hated everything about her ugly dress. While Pythia gave gilded glam and looked stunning, despite her wig not making much sense.

Alyssa, Kitty and Nehellenia were sent to safety before the judges lavished Tessa with all the praise for serving such a stunning look. And by Tessa, Alyssa’s fabrics. Soa’s softened mug was beloved, as was the colour, though she was read for the general shape of her gown. Vanity was praised for the concept, though read for the general execution as she opened up about struggling with her inner saboteur. Kween was praised for giving something different and finding a way to combine herself and Gala in the look. And getting her rudemption from Down Under. Gala meanwhile was praised for trying something different this week and while the dress wasn’t perfect, they lived for what she was trying to do. Oh and then Pythia was beloved, because she is Pythia. Again, despite the wig.

Backstage the safe dolls were delighted to be deemed as such, though Kitty didn’t waste any time throwing shade at Nehellenia for being so emotional. After clocking the tops, them and the bottoms joined the safe dolls with Tessa delighted by how much the judges lived for everything she served this week. Gala meanwhile was hopeful that she wasn’t the worst and ready to slide by, while Vanity was ready to lip sync and fight for another day. Kween asked her to try and relax and get out of her head so she could enjoy herself. Soa meanwhile knew she was in the bottom, though was so proud of how far she had come.

Ultimately it was Tessa that took out her first win of the season before Kween and Pythia were sent to safety. As was an extremely shocked Vanity, leaving Gala and Soa to lip sync to Jessie J, Ariana Grande and my girl Nicki’s Bang Bang. And let’s just say the assassins proved how they got their titles, giving their everything and hitting every lyric, feeling all the feels and flipping around the stage. Sadly for my sweet Soa, however, Gala proved herself unstoppable, giving all the anger and attitude, saving herself and sending Sia out of the competition.

As is oft the case, it didn’t take Soa to find me backstage. All she had to do was follow my guttural, wailing cries, as I desperately tried to figure out why such a bright star like Soa was sent home early. She pulled me in for a massive hug and assured me that she loves Kween, Kitty and Alyssa, so doesn’t want me to hold it against them that Ru may be appearing to play favourites with her girls. I continued to sob for a minimum of four hours before finally telling Soa how proud of her I am, for pushing herself and showing the world just how talented she is. And while that isn’t a crown, there is a form of win in there somewhere. And if we don’t count that, we can always count the delicious batch of Soa de Muesli Cookies.

There is nothing more delicious that a muesli cookie. I mean, yeah, chocolates and cornflakes and nuts all make delightful fillings, but the simplicity of dates, oats, coconut and raisin are their own wholesome form of fun.

Enjoy!

Soa de Muesli Cookies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
100g pitted dates, roughly chopped
⅓ cup boiling water
1 egg
2 tbsp honey
¼ cup coconut oil, melted
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 ¼ cups rolled oats
½ cup flaked almonds
⅓ cup desiccated coconut
½ cup sultanas
¾ cup almond meal
½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.

Pop the dates in a bowl and pour over the boiling water and leave to soak for ten minutes. Once nice and soft, mash with a fork to form a paste before mixing in the egg, honey, coconut oil and vanilla.

When the wet ingredients are combined, fold in the oats, almonds, coconut, sultanas, almond meal, baking powder and cinnamon to form a thick batter.

Divide the batter into 8, rolls into balls and flatten on the lined baking sheet to form thick mounds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.

Remove from the oven and leave to cool on the tray for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. And then devour.


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Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls created an immersive experience for fans that promotes everything we love about the ever-expanding franchise, Drag Race World. While Scarlet was quickly able to identify this one as a branding challenge, and given she has a marketing degree, took control and absolutely slayed the game. Tia meanwhile tried desperately to keep Keta and Marina on task, in their group and while she was able to join Scarlet in the top, Keta was too much of a mess and landed in the bottom. With Jonbers, who was just flat as not a joke landed, while LGD and Hannah shone. In deliberations, Keta offered Tia some massages, while Jonbers worried that Scarlet was intimidated by her killer looks. Which may have been proven, as after Scarlet won the lip sync, she promptly booted Jonbers.

Backstage Scarlet was thrilled to finally grab her first solo win over the course of her three seasons, particularly since she felt sending a UK doll home was iconic. She felt her oats while cleaning the mirror, as Choriza felt that sending an icon like Jonbers home meant that the contest is really on. Keta thanked Scarlet for saving her, with Scarlet explaining her top performance in the ball is what tipped her over the edge, given she would like others to base decisions on her track record. Tia then tried to do a fake-out, pretending that she voted for Keta, before admitting that she too would have sent Jonbers home given she literally was just in the top two and has been slaying. Also, as she told us, eliminating one of the UK dolls means the target on her, Choriza and Gothy, is that much smaller with Jonbers gone.

The next day the mood was honestly full party mode as the dolls conga-ed into another week, while Marina just modelled, given she is an icon. The three victors showed off their badges as Hannah joked about being the queen of the safe club and as such, was grateful her target wasn’t so large. Ru then dropped by and quickly announced that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. Family Edition. Which obviously filled Tia with dread, given it is the challenge she went home. And as the winner of last week’s challenge, Scarlet had the power to select her family.

Everyone sat down to talk through the challenge, with Hannah, LGD and Keta proudly being past winners, while Choriza and Tia were terrified, given it was the challenge they went home on. Marina was happy with her OG performance, which is iconic to those in the Philippines, while Gothy and Scarlet were about to lose their Snatch Game virginity, and were equal parts nervous and excited. With that out of the way, Scarlet picked her family, going with Hannah, Choriza and Tia. Leaving the three ESL queens together, and Gothy, who is super shy, which feels shady. Which I love and hate. The families split up, with Scarlet announcing she will be making her debut as the Statue of Liberty, Tia was going with Anne Boleyn, while Choriza was going to be Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Before we could learn who Hannah was doing, Ru dropped by to kiki, laughing at Tia finally jagging a win before she announced she will be Anne Boleyn, which delighted Ru. As Tia vowed to smash it out of the park. LGD was going with Carla Bruni, which made Ru nervous, as the double French accent was becoming hard to understand. Marina is following Melinda Verga’s footsteps with some Manny Pacquiao, while Ru was equally delighted by Choriza’s choice to play Catherine of Aragon. Which is good that she is Spanish, because her English accent isn’t great. Though better than Marina’s TBH, but damn they are charming. Keta will be bringing Fran Drescher, while Hannah is following in Jimbo’s footsteps as Shirley Temple. But make it Megan the doll. Side note: both of these repeats were filmed BEFORE the others aired, so these are not copycats, ok? Ru was delighted by Scarlet’s choice of Statue of Liberty and a little nervous for Gothy giving Kim Woodburn. And ugh, her nerves are going to get to her and I hate it.

We ventured to the Snatch Game: Family Edition set as Team Scarlet were led by Sinitta, while the rest were led by guest Jane McDonald. Team McDonald all stuck with their OG choices, with LGD cute, Keta started off strong, but lacked the jokes while Marina, like Melinda, was an icon as Manny. And poor Gothy just straight up bombed. Team Sinitta also stuck with their plans where Hannah was demented – though not as demented as Jimbo, obvi – Scarlet was iconic, Choriza was glorious and Tia stole the show holding her own head in her hands. Tragically the international girls all really struggled competing in their second language, though thankfully Marina did land a few killer blows. Scarlet was a powerhouse and Choriza filthy, though it was Tia and Hannah who really owned Snatch Game, hopefully leaving us with another two-time victor and some much needed rudemption.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls in varying moods as Hannah was feeling her oats, Scarlet was thrilled to do a good job on her first go, while Gothy knew she bombed and felt she did worse than she even thought possible. Keta too, knew she bombed, while LGD knew their family were far and away the shittest. Knowing they need to do a good job, the dolls split up to get ready for their runways to hopefully save them. Talk turned to the dating scenes in their respective countries, with LGD opening up about being a romantic, though looking forward to being a little looser too. Marina admitted that she is perennially single, given there is too much beauty. Hannah joked about importing her favourite d, her Geordie boyfriend. While Scarlet and Gothy just desperately wanted to have a loving drag husband. Gothy opened up about not knowing who she is and how can’t love someone else until she figures it out and ugh, Gothy is just such a sweet, tragic figure in the franchise. Isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by knitting king Tom Daley as the dolls stomped the runway in Gone Cruisin’ looks. Keta gave patchwork pirate and ugh, she looked so stunning I mean, she even had an anchor nipple ring. Choriza was gorgeous in a blue and white latex mini with tentacles, LGD gave high fashion genuine sailor stripes in Gaultier, while Scarlet gave first class victim of the Titanic and Gothy gave baby Birth of Venus in the cutest way possible. Hannah gave Picnic at Hanging Rock on the ocean, but made it nightgown, Tia gave Ozempic Ursula – aka Karen the Kraken – and Marina closed the show with water heels and titties as a straight up sexy boat. And yeah, it was another slay.

Choriza and Marina were sent to safety before Keta was read for only just giving a laugh, and lacking the energy and fun of Fran. Which was tragically all there in her runway, which was excellence upon excellence. Tia meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being stupid and smart in equal measure as Anne Boleyn, and they also loved the runway, despite its simplicity. They wished LGD gave more and had fun, though obviously lived for her straight up perfect runway. Scarlet was praised for doing a solid job and looking perfect as Rose without her door from Titanic. Poor Gothy was read for just giving nothing in Snatch Game, and being too simple on the runway. While Hannah received wall to wall praise for being dumb and manic, and looking stunning.

Ultimately Tia and Hannah were deemed the top two of the week, and Scarlet and LGD were sent to safety leaving Keta Minaj and Gothy Kendoll up for elimination. Backstage Hannah and Tia were feeling their oats, while Choriza was gutted to be the new queen of the safe club. Tia opened up about how weird it is to be winning challenges, while Hannah was sad to elect a new president for her club in Choriza. Everyone spoke about how stunning LGD’s runway is, though they laughed about her choice of pizza boxer briefs underneath. Hannah checked in with Gothy whole was weeping quiet tears, while Keta was more upbeat about her bomb. Scarlet clocked Gothy for deciding she will be bad and as such, being bad in all the challenges.

Hannah caught up with Gothy to let her know how much she loves her, with Gothy talking about how difficult the contest is and how it keeps her stuck in her head. Hannah tried to get the fight from her, asking what Gothy needs to succeed. Though she seemed too broken to muster a tangible answer. Tia told Keta how strong she knows she is, though also noted that she has now been in the bottom twice in a row. They traded places with Keta telling Hannah that while she isn’t funny, she has a fire to be here and is ready to fight. Which both delighted and made Hannah scared that she could beat her in the end. Gothy spoke to Tia about how much the competition means to her, though worried about how she will be able to apply the judges feedback. With Tia straight up asking if she can cut it, or whether she should eliminate her as Keta is ready to fight each and every episode.

After Tia and Hannah selected their lipsticks, they ventured back to the mainstage as Ru pulled out the wireless and popped on Alcazar’s Crying at the Discotheque. And damn, the dolls turned a show. Though like Jimbo before her, Hannah tragically failed by not lip syncing as Shirley Temple. So while she hit every lyric and gave sex, Tia gave camp and emotion in equal measure, which was all it took to take out victory and claim her first badge. And then promptly saved her UK sister and showed Keta the door.

As Keta arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she was robbed, it still remains the best way to go if you’re going to place in the middle of the pack. Which she eventually agreed was true. I mean, look what happened to Pangina and Jimbo? Universally beloved and everyone is gagging for more, while Jujubee stayed consistent and made it to the end, but with a whimper and now we can’t have her back every year or so. Which honestly, is a travesty. I went on this exact rant with Keta and while she got bored in the middle, I brought it back to her situation and how bright her future may be. Which cheered her up as much as eating a big ol’ Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken.

This is the perfect mid-week meal, for when you need something warm and comforting, but are also close to tears as the weight of work and life gets to you. What, just me? Oh well, try it on a Wednesday night and you will understand.

Enjoy!

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
kosher salt and black pepper
2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick chips
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, sliced
1 lemon, quartered
1 cucumber, sliced
1 batch Aileen Choddess Dressing
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
4 Pita Andre Breads

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C. 

In a bowl, toss together the chicken with half the oil, the garlic, paprika, cumin, chilli, oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and a pinch of salt. 

While that does a quick little marinade, toss the sweet potato in the remaining oil with a good whack of salt and pepper. Spread on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, flip and push to one end, adding the chicken, halloumi and lemon. Return to the oven to bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and the chips crispy.

To serve, line a bowl with the Aileen Choddess Dressing, divide the chicken, chips and halloumi, dollop over the hummus, sprinkle with cucumber coins and squeeze over the caramelised lemon. Then devour, greedily, with a pita.


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Cottage Topieas Grant

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pie, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways were marooned on the island of Samoa, split into tribes based on their levels of success or application of rules. Honestly, it is still kinda confusing, TBH. Despite the Titans implying strength, they bombed back-to-back-to-almost back immunity challenges, until the Rebels felt it was a good idea to throw number three. You see, the Cuddle Crew – aka the muscled up quartet who are making a play for showmances – felt their strength was enough to carry the tribe and they could afford to lose a challenge and get rid of Kelli. Presumably so they could get some sleep. Back at camp after the challenge, the cool kids thought they were in control, particularly after Peta jagged an idol. Kirby meanwhile wasn’t happy with the plan to get rid of Kelli, so brought the rest of the tribe together to blindside the Cuddle Crew, given 8 is more than 4. At tribal council, though, Kirby  voted with them so they felt they had an ally. Which went off without a hitch as Peta was shown the door with an idol in her pocket.

The next day Kelli was still all energy, no doubt emboldened by the fact she survived tribal council. We finally got to meet Aileen, who opened up about feeling like she would be in charge of the tribe before the game, but thus far, she is overwhelmed by being surrounded by such big personalities. And that is not just Kelli. She opened up about feeling like she has let her family down by not going to an ivy league school, however, was proud to have found success her own way. Which is a lot of getting to know you, meaning she is either out tonight, or is pulling off a big move. So I guess, either way, the Rebels will be back at tribal council tonight.

We checked in with the Titans where things were very zen as everyone had a leisurely morning after their night off. Viola was teaching people how to dance, while Caroline was proud that the Middle Aged Mafia were able to take control and she was able to defy the odds of the older woman archetype. We then learnt a little more about her career as a midwife and how it set her up to know when things could potentially go wrong. Which made her trust her gut when she felt Mark was growing closer to the two Vs, and as such, watched them like a hawk. Sadly she wasn’t stealth about it though, so Valeria instantly clocked it and wondered what the hell her problem was. Valeria found Mark to see if he knew why Caroline was acting weird, warning him that she may need to be dealt with sooner rather than later.

Over at the Rebels Alex was fully aware that throwing the challenge was a bad idea, so instead of gloating like he had planned, he was stuck sucking up to everyone and making sure they knew they had a friend in him. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Kirby was thrilled that her plan went off without a hitch. Well, almost, as Garrick confronted her about why she voted with the Cuddle Crew. In front of Kelli, no less. He then exited in tears, heartbroken by the betrayal, while Feras was simply annoyed to be played and motivated to see her sneakiness and raise it. He then went for a wander through the jungle where he discovered a locked box, but given he clearly didn’t have the key, he covered it up and vowed to return ASAP, given he knew it had to hold something powerful.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for a reward challenge where they would face off two at a time, racing to ring a bell, while also grappling sumo at sea style. And given the first tribe to 3 won a massive grazing plate, everyone was ready to fight. First up were Tobias and Feras were quickly felled by Jaden and Nathan, despite Nathan literally almost drowning for a couple of seconds. Caroline and Viola did battle with Kirby and Rianna, with Rianna absolutely demolishing and winning before anyone realised it had started. Eden and Kitty faced Kirby and Garrick, with Kirby proving to be a lucky charm as she jagged another point before Winna and Mark were defeated by Tobias and Scott who scored reward for the Rebels.

They returned to camp and immediately got to smashing the snacks with everyone forgetting the drama of the day before. That is until they noticed three keys sitting on the table and the calm was broken up as everyone speculated what they could be for. Kirby was wise, telling the tribe they should split into three groups to go hunt for whatever the treasure is. Feras sprung into action, pulling Garrick and Raymond aside to go hunt with him, knowing he could trust them. As Ray was running interference, Feras and Garrick unlocked an idol and a key with a note directing them to give it to the other tribe. Tragically as he was reading the note, Alex wandered up and interrupted the celebrations. Which obviously left him stressed, as he tried to figure out a way out of it. As such, he went back to camp and read the note for everyone, hiding the fact he had an idol, offering to empty his bag and pockets to prove it.

While everyone said they believed him, their faces said otherwise. Alex even pulled him aside to double check, as Feras stuck to his story and Alex assured him he believed it, despite both of them knowing it was all lies. Resulting in Feras deciding Alex now needs to be the next one out.

The tribes joined Jonathan on the beach for the latest immunity challenge where Feras asked the Titans if they had found the treasure box which they assumed was a troll, as the Rebels joined in the sledging. But back to the challenge. The tribes would face off in rounds of aquatic dodgeball with the first tribe to three jagging immunity. Kirby, Feras, Raymond and Aileen faced off against Nathan, Viola, Kitty and Mark as Feras looped Mark in on the box as they wrestled before Nathan made quick work of knocking out the Rebels and scoring the first point for the Titans. Tobias, Sarah, Garrick and Rianna made quick work of Caroline, Valeria, Winna and Eden to tie things up, before Kirby won the battle of the AFL players opposite Nathan, giving Rebels the lead. Eden, Winna, Viola and Mark evened things up after Rianna tried to eliminate Eden, who was already eliminated, allowing Winna to single handedly keep them in it. Before Charles, Caroline, Valeria and Jaden owned the court and won immunity for the Titans.

Back at camp the Rebels were gutted to technically lose their first immunity challenge, lamenting how close they came to victory. After pleasantries, everyone split up to start scrambling, with Tobias confident that being strong, popular and a hard worker means he is guaranteed to be safe. Which didn’t bode well for the first three boots, but you do you boo. As he tended to the fire, Aileen decided that cutting the arrogant still needed to be the name of the game, pulling the mega alliance aside to lock in a vote split on Alex and Tobias, forcing Sarah to decide which of her allies go home. As is becoming the pattern, Alex interrupted things though could tell by the silence he should still be worried. Aileen and Kelli went to fill Kirby in, with her happy to go along with it. Sadly, it was that moment that Kelli decided to spiral and worry that maybe, just maybe, she will catch some strays.

The boys and Rianna were still sitting in silence around the well, before Feras opted to suggest that the tribe could unite to get rid of Kelli. And given that is literally his dream, Alex was all in. To Feras’ face, that is, as instead, Alex wanted to try for a sneaky little blindside of one of the power players. Sarah meanwhile was checking in with Kirby and Kelli, with Tobias and Alex quickly joining them to float the idea of blindsiding Feras. After splitting up, Sarah grew paranoid about Feras playing the idol they think he has, though Alex assured her that he would be too proud to play his idol. By the shelter, Feras grew nervous about trusting Kirby and Ri after the move they pulled at the previous tribal council, and despite the fact Aileen and Rianna assured him he doesn’t need to worry, he was still clearly spooked about going home with an idol in his pocket.

At tribal council Feras spoke about his shit stirring at the challenge, hoping that mentioning the chest would be enough to create a little chaos. Aileen agreed that it was enough to sow confusion, with Kelli admitting stirring the pot is literally her passion. Alex spoke about how Kelli reminds him of his mother and like her, they butt heads from time to time. With Kelli laughing about how she isn’t bothered by it, giving she doesn’t get pressed, but he does. On the love to hate scale, both admitted it will be hard to get things to the love end of the spectrum. Talk turned to the previous tribal council, with Alex admitting the blindside hurt and as such, he cautioned everyone to do something if they are nervous. Tobias admitted he is feeling pretty good, given he cooked everyone dinner and allowed the chaos to happen. Sadly for him though, Kelli and Feras felt it was a little arrogant and rude.

Kirby spoke about how quickly things change, while Rianna was just hopeful to be on the right side of the numbers given all the names she heard that afternoon. Feras started to grow nervous about the vote, feeling just a little too easy, which Garrick agreed with, begging everyone to make the choice to unite the tribe. After a sneeze from Kelli, the tribe voted as Feras took off his jumper to show off his idol, before promptly playing it. Sadly it wasn’t necessary, however, as Kirby and Rianna stood with the outcasts and split the vote between Alex and Tobias. Well almost, as Kelli flipped her vote last minute and eliminated Tobias without forcing Sarah to make the choice.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge Tobias was well and truly confused, given he is totally likeable and didn’t bother scrambling pre-tribal council. Which always screams, I am a great option for you to work with down the line! Obviously I unleashed, Tyra-style, given he is a totally zaddy and while he didn’t rock a speedo like our himbo kings, I would have been happy to have more episodes to look at him. But no, he gave Kelli nothing, and she opted she would have better luck with Alex. As I descended into tears, he pulled me in for a massive hug and apologised for relying on that body, and given it was a reference to Drag Race, I instantly flipped, forgave him and toasted his week with a freshly baked Cottage Topieas Grant.

There is nothing quite like a perfectly portioned little cottage pie to make you forget your troubles. Flakey pastry, rich meat and the creamiest of creamy mashes? Before you even add the cheese, it is glorious.

Enjoy!

Cottage Topieas Grant
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
500g lamb mince
¼ cup flour
2 cups chicken stock
400g diced tin tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato sauce
1 ½ tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 zucchini, grated
½ cup diced carrots
2 sheets shortcrust pastry
3-4 cups Gabriel Mash
2 cups cheddar cheese, grated

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, stirring occasionally, for 4 minutes or until soft. Add the garlic and cook for a minute, before stirring in the mince, breaking up with a wooden spoon to avoid lumps, for about five minutes, or until cooked through.

Sprinkle the flour over the mince mixture and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Gradually add the stock while stirring constantly. Followed by the tin tomatoes and sauces. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until thickened and reduced. Then and only then, stir in the zucchini and carrots. Remove from the heat

Cut each pastry sheet in quarters and press into individual pie dishes. Prick the bases with a fork, line with some baking sheet and fill with pastry weights and blind bake for 10 minutes before removing the pastry weights and cooking for a further couple of minutes to brown.

Divide the meat between the 8 prepared pastry cases, top with a layer of mash and finish with a sprinkle of cheese. Transfer the dishes to a baking sheet and pop in the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and set. Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slathering with some tomato relish and devouring through the pain.


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Gemee Yonce Shephennel Pie

Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Main, Pie, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race after a very dramatic episode and Untucked, the dolls zenned out a little as they played the Snatch Game. After being the centre of all the drama in the last episode, Melinda absolutely dominated and took out her first win of the season. While at the other end of the pack, Kiki, Luna and Aurora bombed or in the latter’s case, were one note and landed in the bottom. Despite all the dolls suggesting nobody should be saved twice in the season, Melinda kept serving mother and returned the favour by saving Kiki. Again. Doing nothing to dispell Kitten’s rumours about an alliance. But that is another problem for another time, as Aurora slayed the lip sync and sent poor Luna home.

And then promptly interrupted the dolls post show dancing spree to announce that this week, two would be going home in a Lip Sync Slay Off. And just like that, joy turned to dread.

Backstage Aurora was thrilled to still be in the competition, though feeling guilty to have been the one to send Luna home. As they sat down, Kitten led the dolls in praising her for a killer performance, with everyone agreeing they have no interest in facing off against her in a lip sync. And given they are about to compete in a lip sync battle, I guess she is guaranteed to stay. Talk turned to Melinda saving Kiki, with her admitting she was happy to pay her back despite what anyone else may think. While her sisters were less than impressed. Talk turned to the upcoming challenge with everyone both gagged and excited, while Kitten was worried she may not get back up should she try for a death drop. On account of her age.

The next day the dolls were well and truly buzzing, while Melinda was just thrilled to be the star of the season given she serves drama. Talk turned to the lip sync slay off, with Kiki looking forward to performing while Nearah was excited to see the trash take themselves out. Oh and then they found a note from Winnie Harlow, which thrilled everyone. After a visitor-less alarm, the dolls split up to beat their mugs and get ready for the lip sync with everyone bonding over the relationship between drag and how they feel about their bodies. Denim spoke about the journey of finding her body as a man, and then pivoting back to hyperfem for work. Venus then shared her journey with disordered eating and how she is working on herself to stay healthy.

As teased, Brooke, Traci and Brad were joined on the panel by Winnie Harlow as the dolls took the stge for the Lip Sync Slay Off Extravaganza. Brooke announced that the battle would feature three rounds, with the losers from round one all up for elimination, while the winners would continue until only one winner remained. The dolls were sent to the back of the stage as Nearah vowed to slaughter the week. But before that, Denim was first called out and selected to lip sync to I’m Not Here to make Friends. Melinda then selected That Don’t Impress Me Much, Venus went with Uninvited before Aurora locked in the first battle, facing off against Denim. Aimee elected to perform to Fever Dream with Nearah deeming her an easy win, so chose to face off against her and officially their feud. While Kitten opted to face off against Melinda, leaving Kiki to fight Venus.

Melinda and Kitten took their places on stage as the rest of the dolls were shipped off to the side. And well, Kitten was right to be scared of facing off against Melinda as she flipped and twirled her way around the stage. Kitten bless, looked absolutely stunning and was so damn cute, but looking perfect wasn’t the challenge, so tragically she was sent to the bottom four and Melinda through to the second round. They traded out with Aurora and Denim as I’m Not Here to Make Friends kicked off and absolutely turned a show. Both the dolls had the right energy, hit every lyric and gave it their all. But yeah, Aurora is a dancer and as such, was just that little more magnetic, which was all it took to send Denim through to the bottom. With Aurora and Melinda now safe, Nearah took the stage to finish off her nemesis Aimee to Fever Dream and yeah, Nearah was right to be confident, as she oozed sex across the stage and felled her enemy and continued on to the next round. While in the final heat, Venus leant into the stillness and mood of the song, feeling all the emotion and devouring, despite a strong showing from Kiki. Who sadly landed in the bottom.

Seeing who landed in the bottom four, it was very clear that one of the dolls had a far worse track record and as such was most likely to go home. So I hedged my bets and told Aimee that now was her time to catch up and get a little culinary comfort. Which as you will see, was very much the case given she was one of the two to go. But we’ll get to that. I pulled Aimee in for a massive hug, thanking her for giving us so much drama and fun this season. Because while Melinda is mother, Aimee would mother on any other season and that deserves as much love and respect as Melinda. Sorta. Or at teh very least, it deserves a big ol’ Gemee Yonce Shephennel Pie.

Gems are one of my most fave food items. I mean, in the world of potato products, they have the perfect balance of crispy outside and fluffy inside. And pop those perfectly ratioed little pockets on top of a shepherd’s pie and you’ve got perfection.

So just enjoy, ok!

Gemee Yonce Shephennel Pie
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
500g lamb mince
¼ cup flour
2 cups chicken stock
400g diced tin tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato sauce
1 ½ tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 cup peas
½ cup diced carrots
40 Potato Gems
½ cup cheddar cheese, grated
½ cup mozzarella cheese, grated
chopped Italian parsley, to garnish

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, stirring occasionally, for 4 minutes or until soft. Add the garlic and cook for a minute, before stirring in the mince, breaking up with a wooden spoon to avoid lumps, for about five minutes, or until cooked through.

Sprinkle the flour over the mince mixture and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Gradually add the stock while stirring constantly. Followed by the tin tomatoes and sauces. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until thickened and reduced. Then and only then, stir in the peas and carrots.

Pour the mixture into a baking dish, arrange the potato gems on top of the mince mixture and sprinkle with the cheeses. Pop in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or until golden. Sprinkle with parsley, serve and devour. Like you deserve.


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Festivicki Frivacious

Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Side, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls put on the show as they performed in the opening and closing of the new hit rusical, Panto-she Better Don’t. The rusical. Live! And as appears to be tradition for our UK girlies, everyone was rather solid. Begging the question, was Charlie Hides right? Ginger shone brighter than everyone as a cow, while Vicki and Michael made a dynamic duo of lovers. Though it was Ginger that took out her second win of the season. Sadly there had to be a bottom two, however, and since Banksie was nervous and DeDe missed the mark due to never having seen a musical, it was them. And tragically, DeDe absolutely slaughtered the lip sync and sent our sweet Banksie home.

Backstage the dolls were in shock that it was Banksie that went home, particularly since it was so soon. Though DeDe, obviously, was just glad it was not her. She shared how the lip sync was a little cathartic, while Cara admitted that she had grown to love Banksie and as such, was heartbroken. Kate meanwhile was genuinely disappointed to see her bestie go, though pivoted and congratulated Ginger on taking out victory. She in turn spoke about her shock that she won, originally thinking she was going to be lip syncing. Vicki pretended to be happy for her, though was clearly jealous. Kate thankfully kept things moving, asking Cara and Tomara whether they regretted giving up roles to the tops and you best believe it galvanised them not to give anything up again.

The next day the dolls were feeling energised and spicy, particularly Ginger, as the first queen to be donning two badges. Which she assured her sisters was absolutely correct. They turned their attention to who had wins under their belts, with Kate trying to convince her sisters that having fun is the real win, innit. Ginger meanwhile spoke about finally understanding what it means to have nerve, and you best believe she will be keeping that in focus from now on.

Ru interrupted the kiki to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, finally, the dolls would be playing the iconique Snatch Game. So you know Kate was finally ready to score a win and leave DeDe as the sole badgeless queen. Cara, meanwhile, was absolutely terrified. The dolls immediately split up to talk through their characters with Cara wisely opting for Dionne Warwick, Kate was obviously doing her namesake Kate Bush, Ginger went with Dame Barbara Cartland, DeDe was debating between Lady C and Julia Fox, though hoping to go with the former, whether Ru gets it or not.

As she debated herself, Ru dropped by to give her dolls a peptalk with her pumped for Vicki’s Fanny Cradock, living for Ginger’s camp choice though most excited for Tomara playing Mrs. Doubtfire, giving she is just funny without even trying. Essentially the Alyssa Edwards of the UK. Cara’s choice of Dionne delighted Ru, given she is a massive fan, which obviously made Cara shit herself. Particularly when she couldn’t name more songs than her biggest hit. While Kate Butch delighted Ru with the choice of Kate Bush, despite the nerves of her being too much of a fan to have fun with it. Michael was doing a Catherine Tate character, which really made Ru nervous, given she is stuck in someone else’s bit. Though Michael assured her, she is ready for this. While DeDe was still debating, until Ru admitted he knows Lady C but bored by this Julia Fox character. Who she has never heard of.

We quickly pivoted to set where Carol Vordeman and Alexandra Burke took their places on the panel and Ginger once again came out of the gate starring, Cara was surprisingly fun, Kate was demented, Tomara was so fun and silly, despite her southern accent bombing. DeDe meanwhile was vamping it up, Vicki served smut and Michael was even hornier. While Ginger, Kate and Tomara went from strength to strength throughout the game, DeDe flatlined on her very first response while Vicki started to drown amongst her pre-prepared bits. Cara, meanwhile, was the true surprise, holding her own and looking to be having the most fun. Well, after Tomara. 

Elimination Day arrived with Kate thrilled to definitely not be in the bottom, while Michael was gagged by how funny Tomara is. Ginger and Kate were feeling jubilant as they beat their mugs together, while Vicki and DeDe spoke about how badly they both bombed, fully ready to lip sync no matter how glorious their runways are. Talk turned to first times in drag with Tomara pulling out a photo and ugh, it was so bad, charming and funny, and damn, crown Tomara now, she is an icon. Gagging everyone with the fact she has been Tomara since 14! 

Michael meanwhile spoke about how proud of her she is, given she is just so confident in who she is, while Michael struggled with having to keep everything on the downlow when she was younger. Cara shared that Cara was born when she was 17, while Ginger admitted she was disappointed her grandmother couldn’t see her in drag, given they had a hat game. Where they would go into a hat department, pop one on the other’s head and then they would have to make a character. Kate meanwhile got her start in uni and as such, there was nothing to worry about with her parents, given she had already moved out.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Alexandra on the judges panel as Tomara opened the Hearts On runway giving the sexiest cardiac nurse known to man. Though maybe she is death? Vicki gave the ultimate Queen of Hearts and worked overtime to make up for her snatch with a stunning look. Kate meanwhile cried for the sailors before revealing herself to be a pin up, Michael was stunning in a chain black heart, complete with a red hand reveal before DeDe was kinda underwhelming with hearts stuck to a corset, though making it shot with cupid’s arrows. Ginger gave anatomical heart by way of Grimace (but in a good way) before Cara closed the show serving demon heart collector.

Michael and Cara were swiftly sent to safety before Tomara received universal praise for how demented she was throughout the entirety of Snatch Game. The level of manic delighting the judges, while her perfectly stunning runway gave them levels. And yeah, a good week for Tomara. Vicki was given props for serving the look of Fanny, though read for completely bombing Snatch Game. Though they did love her runway, which does help, no? Flipping the critique, Kate’s Kate was completely beloved though her runway was universally meh’ed for being ill fitting and underwhelming. DeDe’s Lady C was read for being bland while the runway was deemed a little messy. While as has become tradition, everything that Ginger served was universally beloved. 

Backstage Michael and Cara were thrilled to have been deemed safe in the most difficult challenge, while Cara was really hoping to get out of her head to finally stop coasting. The tops and bottoms joined the fun with Vicki and DeDe joking about how shite they were before going to learn the lyrics for the lip sync. Kate was thrilled to get such strong critiques, though continued to make jokes about her outfits, before Ginger shared that once again she will be taking out the win. Though more focused on the fact the judges think her outfits are a joke, when she was feeling sexy. While Tomara was thrilled that they loved her manic performance.

As everyone predicted Ginger took out her third win in a row as Tomara and Kate were sent to safety, leaving Vicki and DeDe to lip sync for the final spot to Alexandra’s own Heartbreak on Hold. And well, it is a bop and both the dolls were not ready to go home without a fight. DeDe though, was just inspired, using her chopsticks to conduct the opening and after that, she had the entire panel in the palm of her hand and while Vicki gave us consummate performer, the de-demented performance saved our scrappy underdog once again and sent Miss Vivacious home.

Vicki was heartbroken by the time I found her backstage, so I quickly pulled her in for a hug and assured her that both she and her pastie cemented a place in drag race herstory. Like, yeah, sure, that was a little hyperbolic, but you know that Vicki types generally thrive in the All Stars situation, when they have time to watch their first season and realise they have everything it takes and to just not worry so much about how they come across. And that latter part of the conversation was enough to get her vibing enough to smash a big bowl of Festivicki Frivacious.

This is one of those hodge-podge – like Vinegar – recipes where you pretty much throw all your leftovers on some fries and thrive. And given the festive season is well and truly underway, turkey, stuffing and gravy feel correct.

So let go and enjoy!

Festivicki Frivacious
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
3 cups Jud Beerza Battered Fries
1 cup Nick Ciabatta Stuffing
1 cup Brined Littrell Turkey, shredded
¾ cup Howie Doriesling Gravy

Method
Cook everything as per their recipes, or assemble your leftovers on a bench.

To serve, divide the fries between two bowls, top with stuffing and turkey and then drizzle with gravy. And devour.

You could also add craisins, baked apples, or cheese curds if they tickle your fancy. The main thing that matters is that you put your Thanksgiving leftovers to good use and bask in the glory.


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Chicken Caesean Saladwards

Poultry, Salad, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor King of the Boxer Brief, Zaddy Austin finally earned his vote back after looping in Dee and Julie about his Beware Advantage and the women promptly found the idol for him. At Belo, Katurah was over Bruce, capital O. V. A. H. Over at Lulu, Emily was mentored by Kaleb and slowly managed to form bonds with Sean and Sabiyah, and frankly started to slay. Despite winning the reward, Lulu couldn’t maintain the momentum as they went back to tribal council with Sabiyah looking to cut Kaleb as the biggest threat. Sadly for her, Emily looped him in and after Sabiyah sacrificed her vote to extend her idol – which she melted out of the wax live at tribal council – ended up voted out with said idol in her pocket.

Back at camp Sean pulled the others in for a hug, praising them for a blindside well played while Kaleb thanked Emily for keeping him in the loop and protecting him. As Sean grew more and more aware he is on the bottom, he simultaneously grew more and more shrill about how he just wished they included him in the blindside as he is thrilled to be out from under Sabiyah’s control. Sadly for him, both Kaleb and Emily realised he was performing to try and stay solid with them. The highlight being when he told Kaleb he never wanted to target him, with Emily laughing and pointing out it means he then wanted her out instead.

The next day the tribes came together with Probst where everyone was gagged to learn Sabiyah had been voted out. As they speculated about the drama of the previous tribal, Emily had a little chuckle about everyone living for the drama but pointing out it sucks to be the tribe that is split in half. As Brando questioned whether things may need a shuffle, Probst followed it up with the ultimate gag as he told everyone to drop their buffs as the tribes were switching up. New Reba was made up of Julie, Dee, Sifu, Jay and Sean, Kaleb was joined by Katurah, Bruce, Kellie and Jake on Lulu while Emily was an island at new Belo with Austin, Drew, Kendra and Brando.

Instead of a challenge, everyone was sent back to their new camps where Kaleb showed the OG Belos around the bland shelter. Bruce immediately started to break down in tears, realising Lulu was living on Tika’s beach and he started to relive the experience of being medically evacuated. He quickly rallied, assuring the tribe he just needed a moment, while poor Kaleb got to work saving himself from the bottom. Katurah asked him to tell everyone about Brandon’s journey and how he lost his vote, which obviously made Bruce realise how little Katurah trusts him. Jake pulled Kaleb aside to bond and see if there was anything there, assuring him that he would gladly vote anyone if it means they can go to the merge together and hopefully build some new alliances.

Over at new Belo everyone was excited to see Emily and get to know her away from delivering iconic sound bites at challenges. Kendra meanwhile was talking about their fishing hole and pulling together a fire, generally being an excellent hostess. As they sat down around the fire to get to know each other, Emily opened up about being on the outs of the tribe, telling everyone the entire dynamics and Sabiyah’s theatrical idol burning situation. As they got their bearings, Drew rightly focused his attention on wooing Emily so he and Austin could gain the upperhand within the tribe.

We finally checked in with new Reba where Sean gleefully started to spill the tea, talking about how he manifested the swap. Which J loved, feeling like she may have finally found someone she could truly align with. As they went off for a walk, Sifu, Julie and Dee speculated how much of a threat Sean could be, so got to work checking his bag for an idol. Sadly for them, he has an intricate way of securing his bag, so had to learn how to tie the same knots before they went through it, and learnt he was powerless. But damn, Dee and Julie are mother, no? J and Sean meanwhile were pledging their undying loyalty to each other, with J talking about how Sifu has always been on the outs of the tribe and as such, her plan would be to get rid of him at the next tribal council. J went back to the girls to let them know what she did, while Julie tried to caution her against getting rid of Sifu’s strength and sending them back to tribal again and again.

The next day things were still quite zen at Belo as Emily worried about whether she would be the swing vote or a safe consensus pick. Today she was bonding with Kendra while Austin and Drew went for a walk to decide where they could safely hide their collection of advantages. They desperately wanted to hang onto them for the merge though, so reiterated how badly they needed to get Emily. Which they promptly did, with her just grateful to have pulled an alliance together without having the looming pressure of tribal council over their head. And seeing her light up about being included and having some autonomy is just beautiful.

Back at Lulu Bruce was continuing to run at an 11. Kellie meanwhile was grateful to have played the middle at the beginning of the game thus far, given it has positioned her well for the swap. As Bruce assured her she was her number one, the duo got to work pulling in Kaleb. Sadly for them, Katurah watched it all and as soon as Kaleb was free, she pulled him aside to talk mad shit with Bruce and tried to pull him in to get rid of Bruce ASAP. And given she is calm and sensible, I think she just found herself a solid ally.

The tribes came together for the first immunity challenge as new tribes where they would have to swim to a cage and climb inside before carrying it into the shore. Then they would then have to dig themselves out to release a person to collect while the rest of the tribe would have to shoot baskets from within the cage, with the first two tribes to shoot all their basket jagging immunity. Lulu and Belo got out to an early lead, with Reba nipping at their heels. When they made it to the shore, Lulu started to pull ahead as Reba caught up with Belo as they struggled on the sand. Kaleb quickly landed two balls for Lulu before the other tribes finally joined him. Sadly it was too late as Kaleb landed his third and jagged himself immunity and flint for the first time. Austin meanwhile scored two points for Belo as Reba desperately tried to close the gap. Sadly for them, it was all for nothing as Austin landed the third one just ahead of Sifu, sending Reba to tribal council.

Sean for his fourth time in as many episodes, as Emily started to sob tears of joy for being safe.

We checked in with Lulu where Kaleb was rightly jubilant as Bruce tried to pretend he lost the flint which led to the first ever non-verbal confessional as Katurah rolled her eyes. Like a damn queen.

Back at Reba, Sean was heartbroken to still be on a losing tribe, questioning whether maybe he is the curse rather than Lulu. They caught up in the ocean where Dee made that exact joke, making Sean even more nervous than he should be. First he caught up with Sifu to talk about how close the girls are, assuring Sifu that if he wants to make a move and align with him, he will be loyal. J meanwhile was busy pointing out to Julie and Dee that it is safest to get rid of Sifu now, given if they go back to tribal council again, he could play an idol and instantly get one of the girls out. Whereas if they blindside him while Sean is still there, they could eliminate that threat. Julie was very against the idea, knowing they needed to keep strength at this point, unless they wanted to be decimated. Sadly, Dee and J were adamant and as such, they pulled Sean aside to loop him in on the plan and assured him that while they will continue to talk Reba strong at tribal, he is safe and to just hold firm.

Sadly for them, Sifu rightly grew nervous that Sean would be able to make things work with the women. While Sean just seemed dejected to be going to yet another tribal council.

Speaking of which, Reba arrived at tribal council where they spoke about how lucky they were to stay Reba strong post swap. Sean admitted he felt lucky after the swap, given he was on the outs after the last tribal council, while Julie got to work pretending the plan is to stay Reba strong. Sean spoke about how he is trying to stay and get to know everyone before J jumped in to talk about the importance of getting rid of the right people at the right time to win challenges. Sean spoke about how committed he is in challenges and how loyal he is which would be good post merge, sounding desperate to stay while Dee continued to pretend to be Reba strong and seemingly shut down his plan.

Sifu spoke about Sean’s positive energy and how much he has loved having him in the tribe, before Probst asked Sean what he has gotten from the game. Sean then gave a lovely speech about needing to learn from failure and that he loves and respects them. He admitted that growing up Mormon made him lose so much time and that playing Survivor allowed him to reclaim it, before breaking down and admitting that his adventure of a lifetime is being at home with his husband. And given how much they all want it, he would prefer they just all vote him out tonight. Jeff, obviously, didn’t love the idea of having yet another quit, as Sean admitting he is happy for them to be Reba strong and get rid of them. Probst pointed out he is simply engineering his own quit while the girls whispered to each other about granting his wish or gunning for Sifu.

With that the tribe voted and as per his request, they banded together to send Sean home. By way of Loser Lodge. Well, except for Dee who kept her vote against Sifu for shits, which seems like a bad decision. But that is a tale for another time. As Sean arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a hug and told him to hold his head up high. I mean, I don’t love a quit, but the fact he had such a bad run in his four episodes, I kinda get it. Which is why I served up a big Chicken Caesean Saladwards on his way to the airport.

I know conventional wisdom is that you don’t make friends with salad, but it really isn’t the case when done right. And there is no salad that does more right than this. Bacon, eggs and kilos and kilos of chicken breast? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Chicken Caesean Saladwards
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 chicken breasts
2 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste
1 recipe Palesar Taulad

Method
Heat the oil in a skill over medium-low heat. Season the chicken and cook the breast for about 5-8 minutes before flipping and cooking for another 10 minutes, or until cooked though. Remove from the skillet to rest for 5 minutes before roughly dicing.

Prepare the salad as per Palesar’s recipe before dividing the chicken over the salad and devouring, with love and glee.


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Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger

Burgers, Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under thanks to a perfectly timed fainting episode, Mother Ivory mothered and scored herself a check – I hope – for the third episode. After Rita returned to the Werk Room, inspired and ready for rudemption, she learnt that the dolls would being starring in an improv sketch for the Fake Housewives of Down Under. And was instantly filled with dread. Gabriella on the other hand was positively pumped, confident in finally getting her star turn and being able to snatch the win. Which she promptly did, though TBH, the competition was hardly there. Flor was barking mad, Bumpa was Bumpa – so beloved – while Ivanna just looked to be trapped in her head and Rita was an absolute mess. When it came to the lip sync, Rita once again got her energy back, slaying and saving herself, while poor Ivanna exited stage left.

In the exact same placement as her husband Anita.

Backstage Rita was gagged to have survived her second lip sync in a row, putting it down to her hunger for the competition. While Hollywould pointed out it may just be because she is a lip sync assassin. The dolls meanwhile toasted the heartbroken Ivanna, wishing the judges got to see how joyous and fun she was backstage, since they felt it was lacking in the challenges. Talk turned to Gabriella’s win before Ashley continued her Milk storyline, complaining about how she has now been safe twice and as such, she was hungry for a win. Though Flor assured her that she was too. While Italy’s own Ms. Labucci decided that since she has had a taste of victory, she is well and truly ready for another.

Asking the dolls to catch her as she skated on by.

The next day everyone was feeling positive and ready to face the next challenge. Particularly Flor, given she was happy to get rid of the teams given Bumpa did her head in. Hollywould meanwhile agreed that she was kinda shocked Bumpa was deemed high in the last challenge, before Rita reminded everyone that while she lip synced twice in one episode, she knows her worth and isn’t going to let it impact her. Hopefully not jinxing herself again in the process. Ru interrupted the kiki wheeling out 10 of the hottest Pit Crew members for the dolls to pick out who is wearing matching panties. As is often the case, we all won but Gabriella Labucci won that little bit more. But who cares, packages!

And for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game so really we have no time to dwell on logistics. Simply remember them fondly.

After Ru departed, the dolls split up to talk through their characters with Flor wisely locking in Charo while Bumpa excitedly shared she was doing a famed Opera Singer. Isis meanwhile locked in Gloria Swanson, Hollywould planned to do community service Naomi Campbell and Gabriella, like an icon, was doing Emma Wiggle. Ru dropped by to talk to her new daughters, with Gabriella admitting how nervous she was to live up to the expectations of the judges as a proven comedy queen. And the fact Ru had no idea about The Wiggles. Isis meanwhile had Ru nervous with her choice before Ashley delighted her with her choice of playing Jesus Christ himself. But make it gay. Rita meanwhile thought it was a good idea to play the pioneer of the suffragette movement – Rita gurl, you’re in danger. Thankfully though, after Ru bounced, Isis and Rita spiralled over their choices and both opted to change.

We dropped by the Snatch Game set where Gabriella stuck with Emma Wiggle, Isis pivoted to Donatella Versace, Bumpa stuck with Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, Rita went to Cardi B while Hollywould, Ashley and Flor wisely stuck with their OG choices. While I’d love to say it was finally a winning Down Under Snatch Game, it wasn’t, as Ashley and Isis far and away ran  circles around their sisters. Ashley in particular, talking about Jesus being bred and living out her gay dreams. While Rita was just a mess. But so messy, it was kinda charming?

Elimination Day arrived with Ashley feeling her oats, ready to potentially snatch a win and stamp her place in the contest. While Hollywould exuded confidence, she admitted she was joking and knew she was a mess. Though a gracious mess, as she praised Isis and Ashley for slaying. Ashley in turn felt Bumpa would be joining them in the top, while the rest of the dolls all kinda knew any of them could be going home. Except Flor, who was sure she would be the third top, while Gabriella was simply hoping she would be safe.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Keiynan Lonsdale as the dolls stomped the Night of 1000 Kylie Minogue’s runway. Bumpa was up first, gorgeous in blue and green in Kylie’s showgirl era, Ashley served In My Arms music video, and was glorious, before Flor gave us the green fairy and was stun. Ning. Rita gave the weaker version of the In My Arms music video, though her mug was so, so, so perfect. Hollywould gave cyborg Kylie and was fierce as hell, Isis also gave a more glamorous green fairy before Gabriella gave Delinquents premiere Kylie, rather than Charlene like I desperately hoped from her.

Hollywould and Gabriella were sent to safety before Bumpa was praised for a strong start in Snatch Game, though read for fading throughout. Though her runway was beloved. Ashley meanwhile got wall to wall praise for Snatch Game and her runway. Praised in particular for bringing dignity to her Jesus without losing the jokes. Isis too was absolutely beloved, while Rita’s look received wall to wall praise, though her Snatch Game was truly hated. Flor meanwhile was read for not bringing any comedy to her character work, though they found her outfit cute.

Backstage the dolls caught the safe girls up, with Rita shocked they were safe given she would have put them both in the bottom. Everyone agreed the win was down to Ashley and Isis, before Rita and Flor admitted they were confident they would be lip syncing. And they bloody hated it, given it is Rita’s third in a row. With sweet Gabriella encouraging them to learn the lip sync and use it as the fire to push them further in the competition. Bless.

Ultimately Ashley took out victory as Isis was sent to safety alongside her, before Bumpa was gagged to join them, leaving Rita to serve her third lip sync of the season against Flor. And as soon as the singing budgie’s Secrets kicked off it was clear both girls had the fire Gabriella requested, though Flor’s experience proved to give her a little edge. Hitting every lyric and slaying the game. Which was enough to save her and send sweet Rita Menu out of the race. 

While she wished she read a fucking book – included only because it was a glorious exit line – I assured her that if we learnt anything from the Book Ball in Season 8, it is that illiteracy is hilarious. I pulled her in for a hug and told her she should be so proud of how well she did in the competition, and honestly, could have gone a lot further if not for a bad run of challenges for a non-comedy queen. Which proved to delight her enough to wipe away her tears and sit down to enjoy a piping hot Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger.

Despite the gastronomic delights of The Menu, the dish that has everyone salivating is its gloriously simple burger. And after sampling a version compositing all the copycats I could find on the internet, I know why. Crunchy and umami, sweet and gooey, this perfect burger has everything and will keep you coming back again and again.

Enjoy!

Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g 80/20 beef mince
1 tsp kosher salt
½ tsp black pepper, ground
½ small onion, thinly sliced
4 slices American cheese
2 Briocher Bünsberg, toasted
your favourite burger sauce – I can’t go past the one from Smoke Shacqui Patterson – and dill pickle chips, to serve

Method
Divide the beef evenly into 4 portions and gently roll into meatballs, working as little as possible so you can still see the strings of the mincing. Pop on a plate and place in the freezer for no more than 15 minutes.

Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and get the air vent going or open up your windows, as there will be smoke. You will know the pan is hot enough if you splash water in the pan and it balls up and rolls along the surface. Place the balls in the hot skillet, top with a square of parchment and using a large metal spatula, flatten each into a patty. Sprinkle each with a little salt and pepper, followed by some sliced onion.

Once the base of the patties have crisped – about 90 seconds or so should do – flip over, season the tops and top with a slice of cheese, and cook until the bottoms are gloriously crisp.

To assemble, smear some sauce on the base of the buns, top with some pickle chips, followed by the two patties and close. Then devour, gloriously.


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Pichuan Pork Dumplings

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France Nicky took a page out of UK-Ru’s book and tasked the dolls with hosting a little morning show. Part acting challenge, part skit, like in the UK it was a little hit and miss. But when there were hits, they were fantastic. Specifically Moon’s weather report, which was robbed of victory like she was Keiona – who was also perfect yet again – as Sara took out another win. Which was well deserved too, but I digress. At the other end of the pack, Mami once again narrowly avoided the bottom as Cookie slayed the lip sync and sent sweet Kitty packing.

Backstage the dolls gathered round the ‘ol mirror message to toast their fallen sister, with Moon in particular sad to have lost her closest confidante. Cookie meanwhile was glad that if she must keep landing in the bottom, at least she is coming across as an assassin. Everyone turned their attention back to Sara, praising her for earning her second win. Though don’t pretend they were back to back because Zaddy Piche is right there and will gladly send you home if you forget she won week two, Cookie! With the two bottoms.

The next day the dolls were focused on literacy as they ran through their spelling, before Mami assured us that this week, she will stop being a bottom. Even though we’re all bottoms. They speculated what they could possibly face this week, with Mami scoffing at Cookie’s wish for Snatch Game. Right on cocorico, Nicky arrived to pop the dolls down on their knees in front of each other. For a little wedding mini challenge, sickos, mind out of the gutter! The couples paired up and then split off to get into matrimonial quick drag before Drag King Elvis was wheeled out to marry the dolls. First up were Ginger and Piche who gave ‘80s rocker in all the right, messed up, trashy ways and I love it. Mami Watte and Keiona were bright, ditsy and silly, Cookie and Moon were nerdy delights while Sara and Punani looked like low rent Princess Di and Fergie and TBH, it makes me wish those two got married and were able to live happy lives.

THEN the dolls had their legs tied together and had to play a three legged race to collect items from the Werk Room and return to their seats, musical chairs style. Because why stop at the quick drag silliness? Punani and Sara were first out after failing to jag a red or pink shoe. Two tights cost Mami and Keiona before Ginger and Piche couldn’t find the flowers themselves – Dalloway style – leaving Cookie and Moon to take out victory and a prize of wedding cake. Sadly though, that was it for the reward as for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would, in fact, be playing Snatch Game.

After Nicky departed Punani shared with the dolls that she had been planning on playing Amanda Lear in Snatch Game, who tragically is one of the guest judges this week. Filling everyone with nerves on her behalf. Sara and Cookie meanwhile realised they both brought the same character which led to an epic fight between the frontrunner and the queen of the bottoms, with the latter wanting her star moment and to break out of her funk. While Sara, like an icon, was just happy with the two of them to commit and see who comes out on top.

Nicky dropped by for a kiki with Cookie locking in her plans to play Johnny Hallyday, while Sara shared that in addition to him, she also had Françoise Sagan as a back-up. With Nicky sweetly telling her to just do what she thinks is right, rather than changing because she thinks she should. Nicky was gagged again to learn of Punani selecting Amanda Lear, Ginger would be doing Victoria Silvstedt, Moon brought Brigitte Fontaine, Keiona would be playing Afida Turner, Piche was locked in on Geneviève de Fontenay and Mami was playing Shauna Sand.

We did an immediate pivot to the set where Eddy de Pretto and genuine Amanda Lear took their places on the panel as the dolls kicked things off. Cookie was having an absolute ball as Johnny, Punani was perfection as Amanda in front of Amanda, Keiona was all energy and jokes as Afida Turner, Ginger was a vampy icon while Piche was a little subdued. Moon was hilarious as Brigitte by way of Ozzy Osbourne – I think – while Mami was so silly as Shauna while Sara was solid but a little lost, despite not being able to do her first choice. Punani, Moon and Keiona went from strength to strength throughout the challenge, while Ginger and Sara faded, while Piche was tragically thus there.

Jour d’élimination arrived with the dolls thrilled to have made it through Snatch Game, with only Moon, Keiona and Punani (rightly) confident about how they went. Piche meanwhile realised it was a shit show and how much she hated it, instead mulling over who would be lip syncing against her as they beat their mugs. Sara was confident it would be her, given her fight with Cookie had really gotten into her head. Talk turned to the protests around marriage equality ten years ago, with Ginger talking about how it united the community and allowed them to have fun along the way, with everyone just grateful to now have the same rights as the rest of France. And ugh, it is both triggering and exciting all at once.

Nicky, Kiddy and Daphne were joined by Eddy and Amanda again, this time on the judging panel, as Piche kicked off the Under the Sea runway giving Kate Winslet in Titanic complete with the door which, TBH, should earn her safety for that alone. I mean, she even had Leo frozen in her back! Punani gave technicolour swamp thing amoeba in all the right ways, Moon stunned as a sexy pink and pearl fish, Sara went from floating trash to a golden fish gown, Ginger served sea slug realness by way of Roz from Monsters Inc, Mami slayed as sexy Spongebob – not the ick that is the Broadway version, FYI – before Cookie served drama as an epic wave and Keiona gave glamour jellyfish, which also reminded me of Kate Winslet’s hat in Titanic. Which is a compliment.

Cookie and Mami were sent to safety before Piche’s runway received wall to wall praise while her Snatch Game was read. Wall to wall. Punani meanwhile was beloved for each and every thing she gave this week, particularly for being brave enough to play Amanda in front of Amanda. They loved everything Moon did from the runway to Snatch Game, before poor Sara was read for not being in the moment for Snatch Game, though they (mostly) loved her runway. While Ginger was read for just rocking a gown on the runway and for crumbling under the pressure of being a funny girl on Snatch Game and Keiona, obvi, received only positives. Particularly for her stunning runway and once again, surprising with a dominant comedy performance.

Backstage the safe dolls were thrilled to be out of their slump before Mami pointed out that Sara is probs in the bottom, questioning if Cookie felt bad. And spoiler, she didn’t. The tops and bottoms dropped by with Piche still sure she’d be lip syncing despite that killer runway. Sara on the other hand felt like she would definitely be lip syncing in her place, due to the outfit, while Ginger assured them that everything she did was hated and as such, they only have one spot left in the bottom. While poor Punani just assured them all that they should still be proud of themselves, despite how they feel they went.

Ultimately it was Punani who took out a very well deserved win, leaving Keiona to once again finish in the top, this week alongside Moon. At the other end of the pack, it was Sara’s track record that saved her from the bottom, leaving Piche and Ginger to battle for safety. And while I was sure Piche was going to absolutely dominate, as soon as Je vais vite by Lorie kicked off, it was clear Ginger was not going down without a fight. After stripping off, she got all the energy while Piche started to struggle to make it work in a gown. Which was tragically all it took to eliminate her from the competition, as the robbed goddess of the season. And ugh, I am angry.

It was easy for Piche to find me backstage, simply following my rage-fuelled howling as I sobbed over all that we lost. Aka the trade of the season who is also super talented. As soon as I saw her enter the Werk Room, I ran into her arms and sobbed as I told her how frustrating it was to leave her so soon. Given she has been nothing but stunning each and every week, and had an absolutely winning runway. Eventually I got my breathing under control and reminded myself that being a robbed goddess generally works out better for anyone other than the winner and as such she’ll be doing just fine. Which allowed me to make a pivot as hard as Ross Gellar’s and toast her success with a piping hot batch of Pichuan Pork Dumplings.

Spicy and sweet, these glorious little dumplings are the perfect way to distract from pain or feelings of existential dread – but do you guys ever think about dying? – and leave you feeling both satisfied and wanting more.

Enjoy!

Pichuan Pork Dumplings
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
300g pork mince
100g wombok, finely chopped
1 tbsp finely chopped chives
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp minced ginger
1 tbsp tamari
2 tsp fish sauce
1 tsp Chinese rice wine
1 tsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp ground white pepper
½ tsp ground szechuan peppercorns
40 gow gee wrappers

Method
Combine everything but the gow gee wrappers in a large bowl and mix together with your hands. Cover, pop in the fridge and leave to marinate for an hour.

Lay out the wrappers on a bench and place a tablespoon of filling in the centre of each. Dip a finger in water and wet the edges before folding, pleating and mashing them closed – depending on skill level or care for the aesthetic. Repeat the process until they are all gone.

To cook, get a steamer going over high heat and cook the dumplings, 5-10 at a time depending on the size, for about 5-10 minutes, or until the wrapper is gorgeously soft and silky and the filling cooked. Repeat until all dumplings are done, replenishing the water as needed. 

Devour immediately with whatever sauce you fancy. Though I obviously advise a spicy little mayo.


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