Muscovado Sugar

Kellie Nalbandia Maria Chocolate Christmas Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Bruce jagged an idol moments before the first phase of the non-merge portion of the game. As the boat approached shore, he enlisted the help of everyone else in the tribe to collect it, though decided to keep it a secret from his nemesis Katurah. After they were split into two groups – why merge, you ask? Who knows – to each eliminate someone, Kaleb filled her in to make sure she wasn’t angry with him. But over to the other group where Kellie was debating when to turn on Bruce, though instead stuck with Drew and her Belos to take out Sifu. After he was sent all the way home, Katurah confronted Jake about keeping the idol secret from her. While Jake and Kaleb thought they had won her over enough to force a tie and take out Julie, Katurah banded with the Rebas to take out Kaleb to become the king of the jury.

As the first group arrived back at camp, everyone was thrilled to have made the jury. Though Drew did admit that getting rid of Sifu was harder than he thought, particularly since it gave Bruce a win in the game, which nobody wanted. When the groups came together, nobody was exactly surprised that Kaleb was gone. Though you best believe Jake felt awkward about trying to save Kaleb, given it made him an outsider. And he regretted being reckless. To his credit, he pulled Julie aside to clear the air, admitting that his vote was more to save Kaleb, not to take her out. And while they pretended to be all good, it was clear Julie was going to get revenge.

The next day the dolls noticed that they had a numbers advantage over the men and as such, thought that maybe they should form an alliance and take control. While the boys were focused on tacos, all the girls agreed it was a great idea and maybe it was finally the right time to get rid of Bruce. While Julie admitted to us that she still trusts Drew and Austin, given they all have a mutual target, maybe it could work. Kellie on the other hand just wanted the albatross around her neck gone.

A boat then arrived at shore, featuring a table with bowls glued on top. Thoroughly confused, name cards were laid out before Kendra read treemail announcing that they would be participating in the Survivor Auction. Finally, finally, giving us what we want! Of course it was going to come with a twist, the first being that they had to go find tubes of cash hidden in the jungle for them to spend. Everyone split up hunting for the money, with Bruce choosing to take it super easy, finishing with just $80 to spend at auction. While Dee and Austin were the richest with $900 and $700 apiece.

When they met Jeffrey in the jungle, he immediately announced that unlike in the past, there will be no advantages on offer. At all. And the third twist? 15 items will be up for grabs, 5 confirmed and the rest decided by rockdraw and finishing without notice. Why does that matter, though? Well the person with the most money leftover at the conclusion of the auction loses their vote at the upcoming tribal council. First up were pretzels and beer, which went to Kendra for $360, exhausting her money in the process and guaranteeing she holds on to her vote. Fries and coke went to Kellie for $500, Emily bought a covered item for $440 which was thankfully not bat soup, instead a massive charcuterie and wine. Oh and now she has $60 left, meaning she is likely keeping her vote too. Dee went all in with $900 to jag her milkshake, likely just to retain her vote.

The next covered item went to Katurah for $480. Feeling like it could be a dud, Probst offered her the chance to trade out for something else. Sadly she opted to keep the original, which were two giant fish eyeballs. Which Austin bought on resale for $100. Though at least Katurah kept her vote, no? Drew went all in on item 6 for $520, which was just a bowl of candy. Austin snatched a piece of pizza for $600. A toothbrush and mouthwash went to Julie for $420, the next item was chocolate cake for three, which went to Jake for $340 and was shared with Julie and Bruce. Kellie then bought a sandwich, chips and marg for $200, leaving Bruce to now be the richest person left on the bleachers. And sadly, there were no other items available, meaning he was the poorest going in and also lost his vote.

Back at camp everyone was giddy from the food and sugar, with Kendra talking about how great it was to burn through all her cash on the first item and just be able to chill. She then shared that the beer was special to her, as she didn’t know her biological father until she was 18 years old. When she reached out and met, they shared a beer and as such it reminded her of him and gave him a special toast. Which was super cute.

Everyone was chilling out and going for a swim, so Emily caught up with Drew and assured him that she is his ride or die. And then squealed on the girls alliance – boo – and while that sucks for us, she assured him that Jake and Bruce are the targets, so he is fine. And damn, Emily, that upsets me. Drew meanwhile was thrilled to have the information and given Bruce is everyone’s target, he, Austin and Julie approached Katurah by the well and assured her they can work together, and hey, she can even pick the target. And what do you know, she said Bruce?!

The tribe caught up with Probst for the immunity challenge, which Bruce is totally winning based on the timing, no? But back to the challenge. Everyone would need to hold onto a rope holding up a log with the last person standing without dropping winning immunity. Adding yet another wrinkle to the challenge, Jeff offered the tribe a massive bag of rice for the last ten days of the game if four people sit out. Dee and Emily instantly offered, with Katurah asking for an incentive. Which led to Probst stabbing the bag and letting rice bleed out until two more people offered, with Drew jumping straight out before Katurah eventually joined them. After 20 minutes Kellie and Kendra dropped in quick succession, before Austin and Jake dropped after 25 minutes leaving the two oldies to battle it out for immunity. Tragically though, Julie couldn’t do it for the dolls, as Bruce jagged immunity and screwed over all the plans. Just as predicted.

Back at camp everyone pretended to be thrilled for Bruce, which actually annoyed the shit out of literally everyone. None more so than Kellie, who was so very annoyed by the fact Bruce gets to be the spectator at tribal and as she appears to be close to Bruce, she was worried she could be the other back-up. Everyone was scared to throw out a name other than Jake, however, which made Jake realise he was the target and that the Shot in the Dark may be his only option. Instead of locking that in, he got to work visibly hunting for an idol before Katurah offered to go babysit him. He then approached Bruce to see if he’d be willing to play his idol for him, which Bruce obviously wasn’t interested in.

Drew was still nervous, though, so pulled the Reba four and Emily aside to float the idea of taking out Kellie instead, given she holds more power than Bruce and that nobody actually seems to think anyone but Jake is a target. And then after locking in Kellie, Drew immediately grew paranoid that giving Jake another chance could be a grave mistake. Which means Jake is bringing down Drew if he survives the night, mark my words.

At tribal council Bruce tried to talk about breaking a record by losing his vote but being immune. Thankfully it was brushed aside, with Drew reminding everyone that his generosity should be rewarded, while Jake shat on it, pointing out it isn’t charitable, it just means people feel safe. As he stumbled over Jeff’s questions, he eventually threw out a pitch, pointing out a dogpile is never the right move, and the other people on the bottom will regret not making a move if he goes, given it means they will likely be next. Kellie agreed he made some good points, while Dee was sure everyone was still united tonight. Which Jake pointed out was a bad move. Katurah too agreed that Jake did make good points, but it is only true if their next move isn’t solid. Emily said that Jake is just too focused on it being him, with Jake deliberately stumbling yet again, talking about playing his idol. Which Katurah called super concerning.

With that the tribe nervously voted before Jake played his Shot in the Dark, sadly not jagging immunity in the process. After three votes piled up on him, he thought he was done before the Belo women were well and truly gagged to see the rest of the votes pile up on Kellie as she was blindsided from the game. Angry and heartbroken, annoyed at Emily and in shock as Kendra watched on in tears. 

As she arrived at the jury, I pulled her in for a massive hug. And while she immediately pushed me away and as I flew through the air and onto the ground, it is said that my heart doubled in size that day. I came running back, screaming about how much of an icon she is and how grateful I was to be a part of the rage. For some reason, she assumed I was joking and as such started laughing, thanking me for breaking the tension. And while I was confused, we laughed and became besties before smashing a slice or two of Kellie Nalbandia Maria Chocolate Christmas Cake.

I used to hate the entire concept of fruit cakes as a child, but obviously, I aged and my palate refined. Thanks in no small part to recipes like this one. Rich and fruity, with a punch of chocolate and coffee, it is a combination that can turn even the grinchiest grinch into a festive fiend. So thanks, Nigella.

Enjoy!

Kellie Nalbandia Maria Chocolate Christmas Cake
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
350g prunes
250g raisins
125g currants
50g candied orange peel
175g soft unsalted butter
175g dark muscovado sugar
175ml honey
125ml tia maria 
2 oranges, zested and juiced
1 ½ tsp mixed spice
¼ cup cocoa
3 eggs
150g flour
75g almond meal
½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp bicarb soda

Method
Preheat the oven to 130°C and double-line the sides and bottom of a 20cm round, deep, cake tin, making sure the paper comes up twice the height of the tin. 

Put the fruit, butter, sugar, runny honey, tia maria, juice and zest, spices and cocoa into a large saucepan and bring to a gentle boil,until the butter melts. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes, and then take off the heat and leave to stand for half an hour.

Once it has cooled, beat in the eggs, flour, almond meal, baking powder and bicarb, and stir until combined.

Pour the batter into the prepared cake tin, and pop in the oven and bake for 1¾–2 hours, or until the cake is firm to touch, but shiny and sticky. And most importantly, an inserted skewer will come out a little gooey in the middle.

Remove from the heat and transfer to a cooling rack, where the cake will continue to set using the residual heat. Cover in sprinkles and decorations, before devouring greedily. Or wrapping in foil and popping in a tin until Christmas. But, like, why wait?


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Kitty Spiced Apple Biscuits

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls threw a little talent show and to up the tension, Nicky brought back their Season 1 sisters to act as an audience. Driven to prove they were well and truly an upgrade, the dolls knocked it out of the park as each and every one served something fun. Keiona slayed as she brought Ballroom to the stage, while Piche had an absolute star moment as she sang, rapped and showed off all her talent. Even the poor dolls that landed in the bottom were delightful, with Vespi(‘s outfit) completely falling apart while Cookie Kunty had puppets. And we know everyone loves those. When they lip synced, though, Cookie was able to redeem herself as she came out victorious and sent sweet Vespi out of the competition.

Backstage Punani was once again in her feelings after losing another sister, while Cookie was living with a serious case of survivor’s guilt. Despite being heartbroken herself, Piche assured Cookie that she slayed and deserved to stay and as such, not to feel any guilt about brutally kicking her bestie out. As Piche spoke about her bond with Vespi however, she started to break down in tears and while she seemed sad to her sisters, in confessional, she was more fired up in confessional, vowing to win the crown for her and Vespi.

The next day the dolls were channelling Jaws – inaudibly, according to subtitles – before Nicky arrived (post cocorico, obvi) to open the library. Officially. After ouverture de la bibliothèque courtesy of the zaddy Pit Crew, Ginger was brutal, Piche was charmingly mean, Moon slayed from start to finish and Punani was adorably fun. Sara Forever once again proved to be strong before we finally had a couple of weaker turns in the form of Kitty and Mami before Keiona warmed things back up calling Sara Trinity the Tuck and Cookie closed the show with a brutal read of Mami being the before photo to Keiona’s after. 

Ultimately though it was Piche that took out victory. But on to the maxi challenge where the dolls would be starring in a parody morning show, just like UK 2. And for winning the mini challenge, Piche also won the power to assign the parts. After Nicky departed, the dolls sat down to fight for the roles, until Piche sadly (for us) requested decorum, so instead everyone calmly listed what they’d be willing to play before Piche made her decisions. Mami got the sports role, Sara was doing interviews, Kitty was doing infomercials, Ginger and Cookie were cooking off, Moon took weather, Keiona was on astrology while Piche would act as an anchor alongside Punani.

The cast pivoted directly to set to record their scene with Nicky and Daphne where Piche and Punani were fun, Moon was completely demented in ALL the right ways and Sara once again was a polished, horny and hilarious star. Kitty meanwhile was doing both too much and nowhere near enough before Keiona once again knocked it out of the park, despite what Nicky’s feedback would have you believe. Mami was living out my dream with her sexy work out with the Pit Crew, while Cookie and Ginger literally ate onion and vinegar.

The dolls pivoted backstage to prepare for the runway bonding over their childhood passions for dabbling in drag. Keiona opened up about gender fluidity which led to Moon talking about how drag helped her come to terms with her trans identity and her struggles getting to the point of acceptance. Thankfully everyone rallied around her as she broke down in tears and as it generally does, admitted that things got better for her and as such, she was thrilled to be able to live her truth. Mami then opened up about how she feels she is a trans woman however will never be able to confirm her identity out of the fear it would kill her parents. And hearing the dolls rally around her too and Moon telling her that that is not a reason to live a lie was important and please Mami, live your truth.

Nicky and Daphne – where is Kiddy?! – were joined by Rossy De Palma and Loic Prigent as Cookie Kunty kicked off the La Nuit des 1000 Dalida looking a ‘50s playboy showgirl, Keiona served full bridal goddess, Sara gave red, white and fringed – and looked perfect – while Kitty did the weaker, limp version of Cookie’s look. Punani gave runway, alien, Grace Jones, Ginger gave grecian bust, Piche was a shimmering space delight before revealing a perfect belly dancer look, Moon gave lady of the house at a ball before Mami served full blown white showgirl. And looked stunning. 

When it came to the acting challenge, Punani and Piche were delightfully demented anchors, Sara was even hornier in her interview with Daphne, and the scene was all the better for it. Moon was pitch perfect and bonkers in every moment before Mami brought the Pit Crew out with her, so obviously, it was a win. Keiona was charming and silly, Kitty was cute while Cookie and Ginger appeared to be in completely different skits, despite starring as a pair.

Piche was called forward and grilled by the judges for not being across the material, though was ultimately sent to safety alongside Punani and Moon. Cookie was praised for giving the stronger of the outfits though read for not giving enough in the challenge, ultimately allowing Ginger to star. Keiona was once again beloved for her perfect outfit and slaying something out of her comfort zone. Sara was even more beloved for essentially going from strength to strength. While they loved Kitty’s runway, they hated her performance and wished she could do well, despite not being happy with the role. Ginger’s runway and silliness in the performance received all the praise before Mami was praised for being stunning on the runway – despite some dodgy hems – though read for not taking her workout further.

Backstage the dolls were gagged about Piche’s solo call out and how terrifying it was, while Moon just wanted a little feedback after a run of safes. The tops and bottoms soon joined with Kitty completely aware she’d be lip syncing, while Cookie and Mami were battling it out for the final slot in the bottom. 

Ultimately Sara took out yet another victory before Ginger and Keiona were sent to safety. In a repeat of last week, Mami narrowly avoided the bottom as Kitty joined Cookie in the bottom. When Dalida’s Monday, Tuesday… Laissez-moi danser kicked off, the dolls were well and truly in their elements – and TBH, perfectly dressed in their matching looks – feeling the lyrics and giving full disco diva. Though Cookie obviously slayed, feeling her oats and knocking it out of the park, tragically eliminating Kitty Space in the process.

As poor Kitty arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her on her run and assured her that despite an early exit, she should still be proud of what she brought to the competition and was able to share. And despite it being a pretty ordinary pep talk, it appeared to do the trick as we turned our attention to kiki-ing and smashing a big batch of Kitty Spiced Apple Biscuits.

These glorious little biscuits come courtesy of the Rice Bubbles box and while I know recipes on the side of packets can be hit and miss, I assure you they are delicious. And the perfect little spicy treat for Christmas in July, TBH.

Enjoy!

Kitty Spiced Apple Biscuits
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cups muscovado sugar
⅓ cup butter
¼ cup apple puree
¼ cup honey
2 eggs
3 cups rice bubbles, blitzed in a blender
2 ½ cups flour
1 ½ tbsp baking powder
1 tsp ground ginger
2 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp ground clove

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Using a stand mixer, cream the muscovado sugar and butter until light and fluffy. Reduce to low speed and add in the apple puree, honey and egg whites. Remove from the mixer and fold through the rice bubble powder, flour, baking powder and spices until a dough forms.

Roll tablespoons of the dough into balls and place them on lined baking sheets, leaving a little space for them to spread, pressing down each with a fork to flatten slightly. Transfer to the oven to bake for about 10 minutes, or until golden and brown. Remove from the oven and allow to cool on wire racks before devouring. With glee, even if they fall apart.


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Turkey Meatballala Curri

Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the top six improv-ed their way through a true crime series to figure out what happened to Poundcake in a missing season of All Stars. Which is the perfectly delightful mix of camp, stupid and meta. When Kandy once again refused to take another character, Alexis got annoyed and started crying. That in turn annoyed Kandy, who stormed out, completely infuriated by her ongoing theatrics. Not wanting to miss out on the action, Kahanna then threatened to quit because she was over acting challenges, so Ru came and cussed out the girls and all was right in the world. Kahanna and Alexis then landed in the bottom and after Lala demolished Baby Jorgeous, she opted to send home her bestie Kahanna. To a gay gasp from Alexis.

Backstage Lala was feeling very rich, bitch, after her first ever victory, before she explained that while it sucked to send home her sister, she knew it was the right decision given she has been in the bottom so often. Alexis thanked her for her mercy, grateful to Lala for not just saving her but doing the very difficult thing of eliminating her friend. Going so far as to vow that her kindness will not be forgotten. After the dolls crowned Lala their queen, Alexis opened up the box to tally the votes and while everyone voted to keep her, seeing Kandy joke that the vote against Alexis came for her rather than Kahanna was a delightful amount of gaggy, silliness.

Oh and then the dolls played Jimbo’s tatas like bongos as Lala vowed to win another challenge.

The next day Jimbo tossed bologna to the dolls and while they were not feeling it – or its smell – I was once again delighted by her stupidity. Before anyone got physical with her, Ru arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would need to design outfits worthy of five All Stars winners – Trinity, Kylie, Shea, Trixie and Monet. And for winning the last challenge, Lala got to give herself a leg up as she assigned the boxes allegedly belonging to the All Stars. She snatched Shea for herself, gave Trinity to Alexis, Kylie to Jessica and Kandy got Monet, which left Jimbo with Trixie and damn, she really is congenial, as all of those make so much sense. Congenial, but not smart, given now she doesn’t have an advantage.

The dolls split up to clear out their boxes, delighted by each and every thing they could find. Well, except for Kandy who in addition to her patent leathers, she also had an epic supply of sponges. Alexis loved Trinity’s colour palette, while Jessica was delighted to have her Season 2 sister’s box, though nervous because Sonique loves to go see-through and she does not. Jimbo clarified whether the dolls felt they should be trying to look like their winner or whether it was simply meant to be their inspiration. And after they all agreed to just pay homage, she got super distracted, procrastinating and annoying her sisters, thieving their supplies and Jimbo gurl, come up with a plan or you’ll be in danger.

Kandy and Lala were kiking about their plans for their dresses with Lala wanting to serve southern drama, though nervous about potentially choking and going out on another design challenge. Alexis managed to get Jimbo to focus, getting her to share that she would be serving avant garde facekini. Alexis meanwhile opened up about being eliminated on the ball in her original season, though was confident that after taking some sewing lessons, she’d be able to go big and slay a big old drag look. Pivoting back to Kandy, though, she was spiralling, intimidated by how strong everyone else is at designing and how she may just be screwed.

Instead of Ru doing a walk through, Shannel and Raven dropped by and ugh, I love them so much. First up was Jessica and watching the dolls praise her for slaying was so delightful. Though I am nervous that Shannel’s advice to try something outside the box will come back to haunt her. Alexis was up next, talking about how supported she felt after nobody voted for her to go home. Oh and she was super confident about turning a lewk. Kandy meanwhile was living her best life kikiing with the dolls, Lala was happy with her concept and happier to vote Jimbo, should it be needed, which obviously delighted the girls. Almost as much as they were delighted to see Jimbo had Trixie’s box, with her just admitting all she cares about is avoiding the bottom, rather than necessarily winning.

After our OG All Stars disappeared, Kandy stripped down to her padding as everyone started giggling, completely delirious from the competition. And the fact the boys love Kandy’s titties. Alexis tried to get them back on track, chatting to Jimbo about her look. Jimbo admitted that Raven and Shannel loved her ideas, but were more focused on the fact that should she land in the bottom, she will go. Which obviously led to Alexis assuring her that if it ever happened, she wouldn’t dare eliminate her. Because of course. As she turned her attention back to her dress, Jessica opened up about how nervous she is about the upcoming challenge.

Talk turned to their original seasons with Lala thrilled by how much the fans loved her, despite her terrible looks. Or because of them, TBH. Kandy then got a little scissor happy, cutting the titties WAY out and you best believe that was all it took to get her spiralling. Jimbo meanwhile was nailing her look, or at the very least, the parts she had made, because you know that procrastination was coming back to bite her. And while she felt like she would save time in the end by not beating her mug, the dolls thought that was a bad idea. Oh and Lala hated her pattern.

Elimination Day arrived with the top five exhausted after pulling an all nighter to get their outfits done. And while Lala pulled together multiple looks just in case, none of them were tried on with padding and as such, she is in danger. I mean, there isn’t even a zipper. Kandy meanwhile was terrified by her look being too simple, but was more grateful that she finished something. Jimbo meanwhile was still rocking the Janome and despite them heading to the mainstage in 30 minutes, she still had about twenty things to do. While Alexis was just hungry for the win with her pageant number, though worried it wouldn’t be what the judges wanted. Talk turned to the vote ahead, with everyone unsure how they would make their decisions with Alexis assuring Lala that she will not forget the fact she saved her. While Kandy was just nervous about people holding a grudge against her for their past dramas.

Ru, Michelle and the hilarious Ross Mathews were joined by Incubus’ Brandon Boyd, for some reason. Kandy was first up on the I’m A Winner Baby! runway and while her dress was simple, it also fit perfectly and she looked stunning. Jimbo’s look was camp, architectural and absolute perfection. Lala was a tangerine dream, serving shimmering, regal glam and ugh, I love it. Alexis served pageant Statue of Liberty in all the right ways and ugh, just give her the win for the week, as she looks good. While Jessica looked fun and flirty, like an extra at a party in Real Housewives of Miami.

The judges praised Kandy for looking beautiful, though read the look for being too simple, as predicted. Jimbo’s look was praised for being polished, gorgeous and completely demented, exceedingly all of their already high expectations. Lala’s colour choice was beloved, though they felt her look had odd fits. Which she explained was because she ran out of fabric. Alexis meanwhile received wall to wall praise with no notes and yeah, this is in the bag. Jessica’s look was also loved, though not as much as Alexis, who was announced as the winner of this week’s challenge. While Kandy and Lala landed in the bottom for no other reason than some awkward fits.

Backstage Alexis was obviously feeling her oats while Jimbo hilariously struggled to prick a straw through her face so she could drink with the dolls. Not wanting to share the spotlight, Alexis spoke about how much the win meant to her given she was eliminated in a top five design challenge in her first season. She then praised Jessica for being so expensive, who in turn praised Jimbo for slaying. They then all praised Kandy and Lala for still looking stunning before they realised they have the same damn track records. That was enough to get Kandy in her feelings, disappointed to have to fight against her sister to survive.

After letting Kandy have a brief moment, Alexis turned it back to her, reminding everyone she promised to repay the favour to Lala for saving her, though that Kandy is also NYC family. She pulled Lala aside to plead her case first, telling her that she just wants her to keep her though Alexis asked what would happen if she did eliminate her. Kandy meanwhile was opening up to Jimbo and Jessica about how she knows how much she and Lala both want it and she is scared that Alexis will save Lala just because she feels obliged. When they swapped out however, she decided to kiss arse. Until Alexis pointed out she left a secret note for Kandy in the first week, asking to form an alliance. And Kandy left her on read like an icon. So obviously she pretended it was a little accident and meant to reply in the affirmative, like duh! While Lala assured her other sisters that the fair thing to do would be to keep her around. Brandon Boyd then dropped by and well, all anyone cared about was her being a zaddy and while he is straight, his love from drag was sweet, so I will look the other way. This time.

With that the dolls voted before Alexis took her place on stage and Nicky Doll was revealed as this week’s lip sync assassin. As soon as These Boots Are Made For Walking kicked off, both the dolls – no pun intended – were feeling their Nancy oats, though it was clear the camp vibe of the song played to all of Alexis’ strengths, which was all it took to snatch the win. As Nicky took her place at the back of the stage, Kandy and Lala joined Alexis on the mainstage before they were gagged to learn that Lala was eliminated BY THE PERSON SHE SAVED LAST WEEK.

As Lala arrived in the Werk Room, I was well and truly lost in my emotions, screaming and wailing with abandon, heartbroken to have lost our sweet, bag-loving icon. Lala being Lala, she pulled me in for a hug and assured me that despite going home without the crown, she is proud of her run and excited for what she achieved. And while I was still pissed, I couldn’t argue with anything she said – I mean, she slayed – so instead, toasted her run with a Turkey Meatballala Curri.

Rich, spicy and creamy, this quick and easy red curry is near perfection. More importantly, the balls are absolutely jam-packed with flavour. And who doesn’t love a big, flavourful ball.

Enjoy!

Turkey Meatballala Curri
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1kg turkey mince
¾ cup thai basil, roughly chopped
2 shallots, sliced
10 garlic cloves, minced
3 tbsp fish sauce
3 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp kosher salt
2 ½ tbsp red curry paste
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 onion, diced
800ml coconut milk, shaken
2 limes, zested and juiced

Method
Start on the balls – which TBH, is just good life advice in general – combine the mince, a quarter cup thai basil, shallots, half the garlic, two tablespoons of the fish sauce and sugar, cornstarch, two teaspoons of salt and half a tablespoon of curry paste in a large bowl. Scrunch with your hands and form into large(ish) meatballs and place on a lined baking sheet.

Pop the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and sweat the onion for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the remaining garlic and cook for a minute before adding the remaining curry paste and cooking for a further minute. Stir through the coconut milk and bring to the boil. Add the meatballs in and stir to coat before reducing to low and covering, simmering for about 20 minutes or until the balls are cooked through.

Once the balls are hot, hot, hot, stir in the lime zest and juice, the remaining fish sauce and sugar and thai basil. Season to taste. Serve immediately, ideally with rice but TBH, you do you, as long as you devour. Regally.


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Hornella Gingera Beef Meatball Soup

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Soup, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the top five faced the biggest challenge of the season, making over sanitation workers – aka the collective covering cleaners, garbage collectors etc. – into their sister-Cinderellas. Get it? While the season has been a bit of a snooze, there is no denying this theme is on point. In any event, after Pitita won the mini challenge – is there anything she can’t do? – she was given the power to pair the queens and while I would have gone the shady route, she paired them fairly. Which led to Vania pipping her at the post for the win before Kelly joined the in the finale, while Hornella and Clover had to battle out for the final slot. And while Clover once again slayed the lip sync, track records appeared to mean a little bit more as Hornella progressed and poor Clover was sent out in fifth.

But that was then and rather than heading straight into the finale, it is time for the queens to ru-turn and re-une. Or in the case of Visa, have one more shot to cuss out Pitita for winning everything. Sadly, since we know my Spanglish leans far more heavily into the lish, we’re going to be giving you the highlights only. 

After Supremme briefly teased that there would be a secondary title announced in addition to Miss Congeniality, we got a supercut of queens from Season 2 wishing them well and ugh, it was sweet as hell despite the fact it was obvious padding. The early outs praised the top four for lasting longer, with Maria in particular pointing out that the cast must be exceptional if she was the The Macarena of the season. We then got a glimpse of the top four’s audition tapes with Pitita far and away having the best, referencing the AD celebrity home tours and ugh, just crown her now. Oh and Kelly admitted she was close to quitting drag before her friend forced her to apply, which seems to be a running thing across the broader franchises. Wanting to pad out the episode we then saw the rest of the dolls’ audition tapes and while they were a bit of a snooze, it was clear that Clover’s was second best – after Pitita, obviously – which again reminds me how much she has been robbed.

Talk turned to the judges being grumpy throughout the first couple of episodes with everyone agreeing that while it sucked in the moment, they were glad to have had the wake up call and to be able to correct course before the season became a total mess. The next segment dealt with The Macarena and Pink Chadora’s passion for continually flapping their gums, Pitita dishing out unsolicited advice and Visa, Macarena and Pink Chadora’s anger about it. Thankfully Pakita had her back, reminding the dolls that just because she gives out advice, doesn’t mean you have to listen and as such, they only have themselves to blame if they made a misstep because of it. After Visa touched on questioning the fairness of the competition, talk turned to the returning challenge, and Vania’s emotions and the constant looming threat of her leaving. And being horn.

The (original) first four outs then got a chance to read their sisters and let’s just say once the biblioteca opened it was clear we didn’t miss much as only Chanel slayed. Though to be fair, Kelly found herself funny. Next they spoke about everyone naming Kelly as the one who should go home, though Hornella admitted she only said it because she felt she could take it better than Bestiah. Who she legit thought should go.

We then learnt that they would once again be crowning Miss Lost Look – aka the best runway from an eliminated queen, begging the question, why was it announced as something new? In any event, Maria showcased her sexy chicken laying an egg, Chuchi gave glam Golden Girls lanai stripper, Chanel was stunning as a harlequin, Kelly rolled in serving Club Kid, The Macarena slayed with an upside down mug, Visa then lit herself on fire to reveal a stunning red number, Pink Chadora pulled off a mask and spat out an eyeball before Pakita went from sexy gardener to straight up watering her clothes off. Did I mention fire, though? So yeah, Visa easily took it out over Chuchi. Samantha Ballentines then made her triumphant return to announce this year’s Miss Simpatica which thankfully went to sweet Maria Edilia and ugh, you love to see it, you know?

With that, the red lights went off and the season officially wrapped, so I opted to bring some culinary forward a week, taping Hornella on the shoulder and offering her a little comfort. Since the finale is clearly coming down to a battle between Vania and Pitita. Which wasn’t something she loved me telling her, mainly because even that feels like a lie (since Pitita dominated the competition and it is hard to ignore). Thankfully I turned her attention to the fact that despite not taking out any wins, she never, ever put a foot wrong – someone had to land in the bottom at the makeover, I guess – and as such, she will be remembered as a polished icon that was robbed of glory. Well, glory outside of a bowl of Hornella Gingera Beef Meatball Soup.

Soup is essentially the winter version of salad, which I mean it cops a lot of flack for being bland and boring, when it is in fact anything but. And this is proof. Sweet, spicy and with a gorgeous kick of heat, the flavours dance over your tongue and leave you feeling satisfied.

Enjoy!

Hornella Gingera Beef Meatball Soup
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
2 carrots, one grated and one halved and cut into half-moon coins
4 sprigs coriander, leaves and stems finely chopped separately
2 tbsp cornflour
1 ½ tbsp soy sauce
salt and pepper, to taste
500g vermicelli noodles
2L chicken stock
2 tbsp ginger, minced
6 kaffir lime leaves, bruised
3 tbsp fish sauce
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
4 bunches pak choy, cleaned and sliced
4 shallots, sliced
3 bird’s eye chilli, thinly sliced

Method
Combine the beef mince, grated carrot, coriander stems, cornflour and soy sauce in a large bowl and season with a good whack of pepper and a little salt. Scrunch together with your hands and shape into walnut-sized meatballs.

Bring a saucepan of water to boil and once rollicking, add the noodles and cook for 5-7 minutes, or until tender. Drain, rinse under hot water and leave to rest.

To make the soup, combine the stock, ginger, lime leaves, fish sauce and sugar in a large saucepan over medium heat. Stir in the meatballs and remaining carrot, bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for about five minutes.Add the pak choy and cook for a further couple of minutes. Remove from the heat.

Divide the noodles amongst four bowls, ladle over the soup, carrot and balls and garnish with the coriander leaves, shallot and chilli. And devour immediately, like a robbed icon. I said it.


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Candied Yam Yams Arocho

Side, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor 18 new castaways were marooned on the islands of Fiji and immediately decided they wanted to emulate Kaôh Rōng and find out just how much can go wrong in a single season. Breaking records, poor Bruce hit his head in the marooning challenge and while he made it back to camp, he was promptly medevaced that night. Matthew then fell off a rock and dislocated his shoulder the next day before Brandon got heat exhaustion in the first immunity challenge, the latter sending Ratu to the first tribal council. And while Brandon was the obvious target, he had found the hidden immunity idol and as such, sent Maddy out the door as the first (official) boot with his single vote.

We then experienced yet another dark timeline where a string of young, iconic women went back-to-back-to-back, with Helen, Claire and Sarah rounding out an iconic pre-merge. Matthew’s lingering shoulder pain saw him quit-evaced before the tribes faked merge. This saw the demise of Josh, who had been the main target of multiple tribes for about 4 episodes.

We then saw nature heal, albeit in a heartbreaking fashion, as sweet Matt became the King of the Jury, partly due to his love Frannie winning immunity. Brandon and Kane soon followed before Frannie was felled for being too much of a threat. We then lost zaddy Danny before Jamie just missed her spot in the finale. After Lauren lost final five immunity, she was booted for her underdog story. Heidi then took out her first win of the season at the final immunity challenge however wanting a hero moment for her resume, sent Yam Yam and Carolyn through to final tribal council and faced off against young Carson for the final slot. And beat him in record breaking time to book her slot.

Despite playing a strong game and being beloved by literally everyone, Carolyn didn’t muster a vote at final tribal council – rude – while Heidi jagged one from her ally Danny, leaving Yam Yam to be crowned our King. And while I was disappointed for Carolyn, Yam Yam equally has my heart and played such a smart disarming game that he easily booked himself a spot as one of the top tier. Plus, he is fun, entertaining, silly and represents the sassy, curvy, queer men, so for that, I booked my stan card pre-season.

Most importantly, however, is the fact that for the first time since San Juan Del Sur, I picked the winner pre-season and for that alone, he is worthy of a piping hot dish of Candied Yam Yams Arocho.

While the concept of this dish always filled me with equal parts disgust and intrigue, however after trying it, I instantly fell in love. Earthy and sweet, this dish has everything. Kinda like our new King.

Enjoy!

Candied Yam Yams Arocho
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
2kg sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 3(ish)mm coins
½ cup pecans, roughly chopped
½ cup muscovado sugar
80g unsalted butter
1 tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
a pinch of nutmeg
a pinch of ground ginger
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 cups mini marshmallows, more or less as needed

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Butter a large baking dish – 2.5-3L – and layer the discs of sweet potato, followed by some pecans after every layer or two, then some more sweet potato and continue the process until it is all gone.

Combine the sugar, butter, cinnamon, cayenne, nutmeg and ginger in a saucepan with a good whack of salt and pepper. Place over medium heat and cook, stirring, until it starts to boil. Once it has come together, remove from the heat and stir through the vanilla. Pour over the potato and pecan, cover with foil and pop in the oven to bake for 45 minutes. Remove the foil and continue to cook uncovered for about 20 minutes, or until the potato is tender.

Remove from the oven and scatter over the marshmallows and return to the oven to cook for 15 minutes, or until the top is golden and melted. Leave to rest for about 5 minutes before slicing and serving, perhaps with a Turkey Wellington.


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Chocolate, Hazelnut & Mrspresso Eskashagot Davis

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the dolls starred in live sketch comedy show RDR live (and despite having three SNL cast members appearing across the season, hilariously none guest judged the episode). After rehearsal, Lala approached Heidi about forming a little bit of an alliance, making Heidi far and away the most protected person on the cast should she ever land in the bottom. One of her OG allies Jimbo absolutely slayed the challenge with light and shade – as did Heidi herself, Jessica and Jaymes – while Kahanna was one note and Naysha just got lost. Ultimately Jimbo took out victory – that runway – and faced off against UK vs. the World nemesis, Pangina, who obviously won the lip sync, leaving Naysha to be sent home by the girls.

Backstage Jimbo was well and truly feeling her oats after taking out the win – murder by lip sync, be damned – while Jessica was gutted to have lost her sister Naysha. Who reminded the dolls that she will always be prettier than them via mirror message, so she is ok to be eliminated. After sitting down to receive her flowers from the dolls, Jimbo revealed she also voted for Naysha given Kahanna just won the week before. On that note Kahanna counted the lipsticks – eventually – gagged to see three votes for her, with Jessica admitting that she just couldn’t bring herself to vote for her Puerto Rican sister. And she did not give a shit about what anyone feels about that decision. MKD then admitted to being the other one that voted for her, opening up that she reacted to Naysha’s emotional plea in Untucked and while Kahanna assured her dolls there is no bad blood, Mrs. Kasha Davis, you in danger girl. And I hate that for us.

The next day the dolls were excited to potentially be lip syncing for $30K this week. Well, if they win, that is. Everyone asked Jaymes about her kerchief, with her admitting it is hankie code for bondage, which made Kahanna wet. Alexis asked everyone if they had been in a swing, with her arm shooting straight up before Jaymes admitted she had, while Heidi offered that she had pushed someone in one, as she is what? A dom top. Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be throwing a little ball. Specifically the Supermarket Ball, first they would be stomping the runway in a Legen-dairy Queen look, the second would be Fruity Patootie and finally they would design and make a Supermarket Supermodel Eleganza look for the third runway. Using only supermarket supplies. Carried in by an epically large Pit Crew and hot damn, my basement is flooded. I mean, it was Spain up in here.

After aggressively rifling through the goods the dolls split up to figure out what the hell they would design, with Jimbo worried about looking messy while MKD admitted the only balls she has dabbled in are Mr Davis’. She ran her ideas by Heidi to try and lock her plan, desperate to prove herself and get out of the safe zone. Jessica meanwhile was drowning in diapers, giddy for her first go at a ball. Jaymes meanwhile was hoping her one sewing class would have her shining, while Lala was drowning in PTSD, knowing she can’t do a viral fuck-up again. And while she assured us she learnt to sew, she forgot to add thread to the machine, so yup. Kandy meanwhile was just confused about what happens in a supermarket, and therefore unsure what to serve and straight up drawing stick figures and shapes for her design.

The Miss Congenialities caught up to reconfirm their alliance and while Heidi cautioned they need to keep it quiet, they got interrupted every ten seconds and ugh, dolls, this ain’t going to work. Kandy meanwhile spiced things up, pointing out Alexis is constantly horny and ready to have the dolls come over for a chicken dinner. While MKD admitted she made out with Darienne back in the day. Ru dropped by to Kiki as Jimbo told her about her weird ideas, leaving Ru in hysterics, despite Jimbo deciding to serve high fashion instead. Darienne’s plan was to serve colour, Alexis was hoping to survive the ball this time – or at least not go blind – with a hyper fashion look while Jessica was just ready to surprise Ru. With diapers. Kahanna was going with some yellow, assuring Ru that from here on out, she will be voting based on revenge – watch out MKD. Heidi’s plan was tequila sunrise, before sobbing as she opened up to Ru about losing her grandmother and how she didn’t get to say goodbye due to COVID. 

Elimination Day arrived with Kandy putting on a brave face despite her nerves, given her look is a bit of a mess. She was hopeful she could be safe however, given Darienne’s look is just a little bit messier. As Lala and Jaymes beat their mugs, Jimbo asked if Lala planned to serve something iconic again and while Kandy admitted she didn’t even notice how bad the bag look was before they took the runway, Lala obviously called shady boots. MKD showed off an image of her husband, with Alexis admitting she was desperate for a relationship while Darienne scoffed, talking about her passion for being single. With everyone talking about how important it is to be ok on your own, before Alexis encouraged them all to love themselves because Alexis. Heidi brought it back to the competition, talking about how there is usually a unanimous vote early on, with everyone dancing around the fact they came to play this season and it is very unlikely there will be one. Essentially.

Ru, Michelle and TS were joined by Lemon, sorry, Jojo Siwa as Jimbo opened the Legen-dairy Queen runway with a mod inspired milk bubble look. Kahanna had her udders out as a slutty cow, Jaymes was iconic serving milk and cookies with hands all over her body before Kandy served glam spilt milk. Alexis ate grass as she stomped the runway as a biker cow, Lala gave bondage cow, Darienne was fold after fold of satin, Jessica was the most glamorous bowl of cereal, MKD gave sour cream – my fave – while Heidi rocked sexy milk man and ugh, she looked good.

When it came to Fruity Patootie, Jumbo served queer icon Warhol, Kahanna served full banana – split me – Jaymes gave us a lemon showgirl number, Kandy popped our cherry as another showgirl, Alexis was stunning as a blueberry, Lala gave slutty caramel apple, Darienne gave messy gown before revealing her banana split bodysuit.Jessica went on a picnic of açai to day drink, MKD served banana Mame before Heidi stole the show as a gloriously plump strawberry.

In their Supermarket Supermodel Eleganza looks, Jumbo stunned in a full lettuce and artichoke gown, Kahanna was a Swedish superhero, Jaymes was stunning in a sexy housewife number, Kandy shimmered in silver – aka foil fire blankets – Alexis gave shimmer and fringe and it was alright before Lala gave Grace Jones realness in cream, getting redemption but probs not the win. Darienne was an absolute mess in strips of colour with crinkled foil trailing behind her. Jessica Wild was perfection as a pink garden nymph while MKD was worse than Darienne selling cake. And so much, too much, colour. While Heidi was a mess, but was lucky to walk after MKD.

Kahanna, Jaymes, Alexis and Heidi were sent to safety before Jimbo received universal praise for each and every look, despite the made look being lettuce glued on a bodysuit. Kandy was read for giving the same silhouette, though they lived for her confidence and the fact her made look mixed things up. Lala meanwhile received all the praise, with the judges in particular proud of her design look. Darienne on the other hand was read for messing up all the details, aside from a solid middle look. Jessica rightly received all the praise for everything she served before MKD was read for only serving sour, not sour cream and while her middle look was perfect, they all agreed her design look was an absolute mess. Completely. Ultimately it was Jessica that took out victory before Jimbo, Kandy and Lala were deemed safe, tragically leaving Darienne and MKD up for elimination.

Backstage Kahanna praised everyone for surviving the ball with them agreeing Jimbo and Kandy would be in the top, while Kahanna didn’t buy Jessica would be in there with them. They all agreed MKD would be in the bottom, though couldn’t agree whether Darienne was a mess. Alexis praised Heidi for her Legen-dairy look, which triggered Heidi, who felt she deserved to be in the top. And with the lack of sleep and stress, she had had it. Officially. Alexis then felt tipsy before borrowing Kandy’s first neckpiece to do a little impersonation. She then realised she had to go back out to the stage though, so her sisters over blushed their cheeks like Kandy to go back out in solidarity. 

As the tops and bottoms joined them, they were confused by their Kandy inspired makeup while the safe girls were gagged by Jessica taking out the win. Jimbo checked in with Heidi to see if she was feeling ok, with the soft and supple queen barely containing her disappointment and ugh, I hate it. They opened up that MKD and Darienne are up for elimination, before Jessica pulled Darienne aside with Ms Lake pointing out her looks weren’t reviled like MKD’s final look and as such, she shouldn’t go. And if she stays, she will have her back. Alliance style. Heidi meanwhile was sassily reading Jimbo’s dairy look. MKD was next to talk to Jessica, admitting while she bombed on the third look, she feels like she deserves to stay – I agree – though assured Jessica she has a loving family waiting for her back at home and as such, she is happy either way. Which disappointed Jessica, given she wanted to see her fight.

Back with the dolls Kandy joked about whether anyone felt they should have been in the top, with Heidi not having her jokes, telling her the dolls will be gagged tonight as she will be quitting. While Kandy tried to assure her she is amazing and will get her time to shine, she was well and truly ready to walk as she felt she has shown enough. Jojo then dropped by backstage and while she was at an 11, I think that was just her, as she thanked the dolls for showing people their talent and for helping make it easier for queer kids. With Kandy in turn thanking her for coming out so visibly and making other kids feel ok to be queer.

With that the dolls voted before Jessica took her place on the stage before Canada vs. the World winner Ra’Jah was announced as the assassin. As soon as Kim Petras Coconuts kicked off, Jessica revealed her epic bouncing kitties under her coat, which obviously had Ru and Michelle in hysterics. While Ra’Jah was just straight up living her best life, turning a show, because that is what does. But Ru loves a bouncing titty, so you know Jessica took out victory and the epic $30K tip. Which broke our little accountant Kandy’s heart to learn she’s back down to only a $10K kitty. Darienne and MKD took their places on stage before Jessica pulled her lipstick out of her wrist, surprisingly not the titty, eliminating MKD from the competition and ugh, I hate it here.

As Mrs. Kasha Davis arrived in the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug, selfishly, to be held as I sobbed and sobbed over my loss. Well hers, but mine and ours. Through tears, I told her how sad it was to see her go so soon, particularly since I’ve been waiting years and years for what should have been a triumphant return. Given MKD is wise, however, she assured me that she knows how talented she is and as such, is ok going home. And well, I guess that should be ok with me, given she is and forever will be a camp, sweet icon who is more than worthy of a delicious Chocolate, Hazelnut & Mrspresso Eskashagot Davis or six.

I first encountered this little delight at Agnes Bakery, and knew I would have to try a copycat at home. And while, yes, they are a little more flaky than my hand rolled number, they are still delicious. Like a nutella mocha, this melts in your mouth and keeps you coming back for more.

Enjoy!

Chocolate, Hazelnut & Mrspresso Eskashagot Davis
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 batch David Croissant dough
1 cup dark chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup hazelnuts, half blitzed and the other half roughly chopped
¼ cup espresso
¼ cup muscovado sugar
1 tsp cinnamon

Method
Prepare David’s recipe all the way through the lamination and final resting process. When that is almost complete, combine the dark chocolate, blitzed hazelnuts, coffee, muscovado sugar and cinnamon in a bowl.

Preheat the oven to 220C.

Roll the dough out until about half centimetre thick – or thicker, given it is tough and I am lazy – smear the chocolatey paste over the top to coat before rolling up from the short end to form a sausage. Cut into 2cm thick discs and pop on a lined baking sheet, before pressing some of the chopped hazelnuts into the top.

Open your oven and with a wet hand, sprinkle in a little water. Transfer the escargot to the oven, spritz with a little more water and close, immediately dropping the temperature to 180C. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp, spinning the tray halfway through cooking.

Remove and allow to cool for about 15 minutes before devouring, gleefully.


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Matt Cornflakinship Brownies

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the three tribes dropped their buffs ready for the dragged out, needlessly complex earn the merge episode which is essentially just a split into two tribes with a joint tribal council, but whatever. Thankfully Carson’s passion for 3D printing guaranteed he and Carolyn were safe, though tragically their bestie Yam Yam wasn’t so lucky. And given everyone was worried about Josh having an idol – despite Carolyn assuring them he doesn’t – he quickly became a target. Yam Yam in turn tried to turn things on Kane which was ultimately unnecessary as the group threw caution to the wind, banded together and sent Josh out of the game. Meaning we’ve still only lost minority players or females thus far.

Back at camp Yam Yam quickly told everyone he loves them despite copping some votes and while he was feeling the pressure now that he has had his name out there, he quickly got back to joking about and charming the hell out of everyone and well, we need to protect him and Carolyn at all costs.

The next day everyone came together to pick a tribe name and while nobody bought the fact Yam Yam was actually a Fijian word that would be perfect for the tribe, they did love his suggestion of Va Va meaning 4-4. And by coming together, it was everyone but Matt and Frannie who were on a private date being cute as shit, celebrating the fact he finally has his vote back in addition to having his idol. He then caught up with Brandon, Yam Yam and Kane, with Brandon telling everyone about the fact the cages had two idols – one real, one fake – which made Matt realise he had been played since there was only one in the bag when he snatched his. Slowly he pieced together that Danny must have the real one, offering to show the boys his fake to prove his theory.

Meanwhile Danny was busy catching up with Carson, locking in the next vote as Lauren since she has an extra one. And while Carson was quiet and non-committal, Kane outright shut him down when he approached him with the idea, since the extra vote in the hands of an ally would be super powerful for them later in the game. Begging the question, did I know they were aligned with Lauren? Kane then approached Matt and Frannie about Danny’s plan, suggesting that while Danny is fixated on getting rid of her, it may actually be the perfect time to blindside him instead. And after they pulled in Carson, he realised that he, Carolyn and Yam Yam are sitting pretty in this impending feud between Ratu and Soka.

The tribe came together with Probst where they would each stand on a beam and hold a long pole above their head and balance a ball with the last one standing securing immunity. Oh and since Jiffy Pop can’t go a week without some rando twist, they will be split up into groups of five – why did we merge again? – with a person winning immunity from each group. And the person winning the whole challenge earned immunity for their entire team too. Oh and sadly, only those eligible to be eliminated will be the only ones voting too, meaning someone is about to get screwed to rule as the King or Queen of the Jury. When they split up into groups, Carson was the odd one out, meaning he got to bet on who would win and tie his fate to theirs. Confused? Same. Oh and the winning group would also get PB&Js, because why not.

In any event, Carson locked in with Heidi, Kane, Danny, Frannie and Carolyn, which seemed like a shitty idea as Carolyn became the first to drop. She was followed out by Lauren on the other team, before the remaining people transferred to a narrower portion of the beam. Which immediately cost Kane, followed by Heidi and Danny leaving Carson’s fate in Frannie’s hands. While she continued to power on, Jamie dropped before everyone transitioned to the narrowest portion of the beam. Just like Kane, that transition cost Matt and Yam Yam leaving Frannie and Brandon to battle for their group’s safety. The duo fought valiantly for a little while longer before Brandon dropped, meaning Frannie earnt her group immunity, but left her boyfriend in danger and ugh, I have a horrible feeling this is not going to end well for my sweet angel Matt.

The winners were sent back to camp to smash their sandies as the losers were sent to a different camp to scramble. Meaning in addition to the winners not having a vote, they also don’t have sway, which is infinitely worse. Back at camp, the group joyously smashed the food before talk turned to the upcoming vote, with Frannie and Danny talking about how much nobody wants Matt to go but accepted that it is clearly either him or Yam Yam going. Which obviously scared Carolyn, as she definitely didn’t want to lose her bestie. And just to up the tension for them, there was also an ominous note sitting on the table telling them they couldn’t open it until everyone was done eating.

Before we could address the note we ventured over to the losers’ camp where Brandon was feeling bad to have let his team down, though was thrilled to still be immune in addition to having his vote. Particularly since he also has Lauren and Jamie there who will totally stay Ratu strong. Matt meanwhile knew he was screwed and asked to talk to everyone, though pulled Jamie and Brandon aside to casually mention they may have a crazy plan to get rid of Lauren but if not, he is happy to work with them to take out Yam Yam. Despite the fact Yam Yam is the only one he actually wants to work with. Sadly for Matt, Yam Yam was busy throwing his name out to Lauren, filling him in on the fact Danny and Matt have been throwing out her name because of the extra vote and as such, she was ready to bounce him ASAP.

Back with the victors Frannie opened the note to announce a new advantage locked in the cage with keys hidden around the jungle. The catch being, you could only grab a second key once you’ve tried your key and found it didn’t work. Instantly everyone ran off to look with key after key coming up short before Heidi finally put us out of our misery, unlocking the cage and snatching it for herself. It being the new Control the Vote Advantage, meaning she can choose one player at the upcoming tribal council to force to vote the way she wants. Meaning she could be the one to save both Yam Yam and Matt, if she wants to be my best friend.

We returned to Playa de Loser where Matt was missing his boo Frannie, gifting us a heartbreaking recap of their love, instantly filling me with even more anxiety that it is soon to be ending. Matt and Yam Yam caught up as the former Ratu hung out by the well, with Yam Yam pointing out that if they can get the other group to split their vote, they will be able to force a tie, meaning they just may be able to survive. Sadly for them the trio were busy planning to load all their votes on one person, either Yam Yam as it won’t piss as many people off or Matt to weaken Soka. Wait, no, Lauren wants them to split so we may be saved! 

Frannie and Heidi caught up at the winners’ beach to talk through the advantage, trying to figure out the best way to use it to take control. While everyone was onboard with telling Matt and Yam Yam to vote together, Heidi admitted to Kane that since Matt is so well liked, she is just as concerned about him getting too far as she is about breaking up Ratu.

At tribal council Jamie spoke about how wild it is to once again be in a small group and potentially screwed if your allies are on the wrong side. Almost speaking for the audience about how tired we are of the constant tribal council twists. Matt spoke about the fact he didn’t have his bags or any tricks that may be in them, and when Frannie admitted she hadn’t packed it, he pulled out a papaya to ask Jeff for mercy and to cancel tribal council. When that didn’t work, Matt lay out that it is him and Yam Yam on the block, with the latter admitting he was also very nervous. Lauren and Jamie downplayed it, talking about how one advantage could screw them out of the game, but if they do stay, they also need to think about the six people not voting.

Matt tried to remind everyone how strong of an ally he is, with Brandon admitting he would love to work with him before pointing out he even voted for Yam Yam just the week before. Yam Yam wisely pointed out he has zero allies, while Matt has options, meaning if he is kept, he is more likely to stay loyal, while Matt would flip right back. Matt then was a beautiful angel, breaking down as he talked about his anxiety and nerves before playing the game, and how proud of himself he was to overcome it and play a strong game. As sweet Frannie looked on, beaming with pride. Jeff then called out Yam Yam for deflecting with humour – why show his game, Jeff – with him too breaking down about how growing up as a queer kid in Puerto Rico, he never dreamt he could be here and he now he isn’t ready to go.

As they were about to go out to vote, Heidi stood up and snatched Lauren’s vote, instructing her to vote for Yam Yam. After clarifying whether Heidi controlled one or two of her votes, Lauren kicked off the voting, wisely holding on to her extra as the group united to break up mum and dad, sending Matt out to become the King of the Jury. Which feels so wholesome and lovely I could almost burst. But fuck am I going to miss our sweet king. As soon as her arrived at Ponderosa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for playing such an exceptional game and for repping for all the nerds with anxiety. As is becoming a trend this season, I reiterated that due to the twist there was truly not much he could have done to save himself, but I am grateful that someone as kind as him is the one setting the tone of the jury. Which is perfectly shown with a big, fat plate of Matt Cornflakinship Brownies.

As sweet as our nerd king, angel zaddy these elevated brownies are all about balance. Crunchy and soft, sweet and salty, everything about them works together to warm your soul and keep the jury in a positive state. I assume.

Enjoy!

Matt Cornflakinship Brownies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
375g unsalted butter
150g dark chocolate
5 eggs
200g muscovado sugar
650g raw caster sugar
100g plain flour
50g cocoa powder
1 ½ tsp kosher salt
300ml double cream, at room temperature(ish)
200g cornflakes

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a rectangular cake tin.

Start by melted 125g of butter with the dark chocolate, either in a double boiler or using a microwave. Stir until smooth, shiny and combined, and then leave to rest.

Meanwhile using a stand mixer, beat the eggs, muscovado sugar and 150g of the raw caster sugar until light and fluffy, almost pulsating with the volume. With the mixer on low, slowly pour in the butter and chocolate, mixer until just combined. Remove the bowl from the mixer and fold through the flour, cocoa and half a teaspoon of salt until combined. Pour the batter in the pan and transfer to the oven to bake for 30-40 minutes, or until the brownies are just cooked through. Remove and leave to cool.

To make the caramel cornflakes, pop the remaining sugar in a large saucepan over medium heat and stir until it has melted. This will take a while, but is worth it for an angel like Matt. Keep cooking the sugar until it is a deep golden colour. Remove from the heat and add half of the remaining butter and mixing in. Once combined, add the remaining butter and whisk until that is combined. Followed by the cream, carefully, as this will bubble and spit. Once combined, return to the cooktop and heat for 2 minutes, or until it has thickened slightly. Remove from the heat, stir in the remaining salt, followed by the cornflakes.

Immediately pout the cornflake topping over the brownies and smooth the top. Transfer to the fridge to set for a couple of hours before slicing and devouring.


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Luxx Tiknoir Lasagdon

Main, Pasta, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the top four returned to the Werk Room ready for a triumphant final lap on their way to the finale before Ru gagged them with the fact there would only be a top three this year. Meaning after the rumix and film clip, one of the dolls would claim a final win and another would suffer the unkindest cut of all. Obviously Sasha was perfection from start to finish, while Luxx’s songwriting skills took her through to the finale with Sasha. At the other end of the pack, Mistress getting in her head and Anetra’s not-sure-why were all it took to land them in the bottom. Thankfully forcing Mama Ru’s hand as she finally dished out a double save to keep our very deserving top four intact.

Before we get to the finale though, we have to reunite and sadly the only way out of a season is through. As such, the dolls all took their places on the Ace Theatre stage in alphabetical order – that is Amethyst, Anetra, Aura, Irene, Jax, Loosey, Luxx, Malaysia, Marcia Cubed, Mistress, Princess, Robin, Salina, Sasha and Sugar and Spice, the latter two being out of order on a technicality since they were treated as a sole entity. After reminding us that American politics is a total dumpster fire riddled hellscape, Ru addressed Mistress’ passion for kleptomania – relatable – with her admitting to taking books, earrings and some wigs. Before she gagged us with the fact that Anetra stole things from the set too. In the form of lightbulbs.

Given reunions are generally pretty talk heavy and boring, we will stick to the highlights. The first being how delightful Sugar and Spice were! The former was proud to have learnt how strong she is which Spice tried to reiterate, until she lost her train of thought. Mistress admitted that while she didn’t vibe straight away, she was thrilled by how quickly they won her over and is proud to now have them as her daughters. We then got a supercut of the eras with Irene relishing her screen time era while Sugar was in her nail era, despite not wearing nails. Talk turned to the dolls passion for making it a top two each week before it turned into reading Loosey for always thinking she should win. Until Sasha reminded the dolls that in most of these battles, she took out the win which is all that truly matters. 

It then turned into a compliment sandwich as Amethyst spilt the tea that before being cast, Loosey spoke about winning everything if she ever competed when working together at da clurb, before my dear friend Kevin Bacon dialled in to praise Loosey for her Dragloose performance. Oh and then the dolls read Loosey for not letting loose when singing her song, let loose.

We addressed the lip syncs of the season, with Sasha and Anetra’s from Lalaparuza still amazing everyone. Anetra was also present in the best of the season, with Marcia Cubed and hot damn, I still wish it was a double save. Irene praised Anetra for being a killer performer, and I love how wholesome it is. They pivoted back to the Lalaparuza, choices, with Malaysia still pretending she wasn’t going for the easy kill in Marcia. Talk then turned to everyone not thinking Mistress beat Jax in the lip sync and ugh, I love her confidence and also now think how boring this season would have been without her.

Robin and Amethyst’s history came up again with the former thinking Amethyst was a little deluded, while they both reiterated the importance of not shitting where you eat. Talk turned to crushes on the season with Aura admitting she is hot for Princess, despite the fact she is getting married.

Coco Montrese dialled in to ask Marcia about her make-up skills, with her proud of how much she has improved. Oh and she is releasing a make-up line, with Aura asking if it would just be eye liner. Which is a hilarious read. Asia dialled in to ask Sasha who her favourite drag performer is, with her opting for Monica Monroe. DeJa called in to ask Robin for a Best Buy discount – like an icon – Aquaria asked why Irene trolled the dolls online all season, with Irene essentially admitting she just wanted to be involved. Which is awkward since Mistress blocked her. Maybe. Derrick asked Loosey if she blames it on the edit. Robin’s mother asked Mistress why she came for her daughter in the first episode, with Mistress reminding them she was just in her chaotic era and nothing more. Aura’s mum asked Spice why she wanted Aura in the bottom in Snatch Game, given she would have been sent home if she faced off against her baby. 

We finally got to see more of the reading challenge and damn, Salina was glorious. Ru opened the library for the eliminated dolls, with Sugar hilariously reading Robin’s screen time before Spice asked to read Sugar. Princess read Aura for being a torn bottom and Loosey for her lack of taste, while Irene read Sasha for being beautiful. Oh and Salina hates Irene, apparently based on her epic eyerolls. Talk turned to the many gates of the season ad yeah, the dolls loved to fight. And I love them for that. Malaysia admitted she just didn’t realise Luxx was trolling her during Metalgate, Loosey admitted she didn’t have a bump during Babybumpgate and Loosey just felt like Mistress was just always coming for her during Heavengate. While Anetra just loved everyone else’s drama. Oh and things turned to 40-inch gate with Luxx finally admitting she just likes to round up.

Ru turned our attention to some of the best looks we didn’t get to see from the eliminated queens with Amethyst living for her rip it to shreds look, Aura’s Bey runway was stunning, Malaysia’s glove look was perfect Mrs Clause, Irene’s Miss Cleo puffer look was stunning, with Sugar thanking her for all her looks and admitted she looked forward to her posting them each week. Oh and then Maddy Morphosis dialled in to announce Salina won the Golden Boot of the season – for the metal street sign look – with her thrilled to finally win something.

Talk returned to the hateful drag bills with Robin speaking at Yale Law given most of the lawmakers have graduated from there, and Yale wanted to take a stand. Irene reminded everyone that the laws are not just targeting drag queens and they are actually designed to hurt the trans community, with Sasha agreeing that she feels particularly targeted and nervous about the bills, but also reminded her sisters that it means they are doing something right because they have them scared. Thus legislating against people living their lives and bringing joy to the world. Oh and then the queer Connecticut Caucus dialled in to thank their queens, with Loosey breaking down to see how much support they have from their little state.

Ru offered everyone a chance to clear the air, with Irene asking Mistress if she made up that Loosey said she was shocked Irene had had filler given she was saggy. Anetra admitted that in addition to the lightbulbs, she also stole Amethyst’s baby – for Snatch Game – before talk turned to social media backlash, with Mistress thanking the sisters that spoke out when she and Luxx were getting hate. We then got a recap of the top four’s run, most importantly being the moment Anetra walked that fucking duck into our hearts. Luxx’s stunning Visage couture runway perfection, Mistress’ camp ridiculousness in Daytona Wind and Sasha in the rumix, since they had to narrow it down to just moment. Despite the fact she slayed each and every week.

Once the dolls finished their kiki, I confidently stomped onto stage – maybe channelling Anetra’s duck – and tapped Luxx on the shoulder to let her know it was her time for a celebratory catch-up. Of course she wondered why the future winner of the season wasn’t saved for last, until I explained that I based the last two dates on wins – All Winners All Stars style – meaning since Anetra and Sasha had more, she had to settle for the reunion. And while she didn’t love my TEDTalk style explanation, her mood drastically improved upon seeing the Luxx Tiknoir Lasagdon come out of the oven.

While this number is new to my heart – thanks again, Alan Carr! – there is no denying its perfection. The fusion little UK number is the perfect combination of spicy, sweet and comforting, which coincidentally is how I would describe Luxx’s run this season.

Enjoy!

Luxx Tiknoir Lasagdon
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp ginger, minced
3 tbsp garam masala
1 tbsp cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp chilli powder
1kg chicken mince
800g canned diced tomatoes
3 tbsp butter
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
2 cups milk
½ cup Greek yoghurt
salt and pepper, to taste
1 lime, zested and juiced
2 tbsp flour
250g dry lasagne sheets
3 cups mozzarella, shredded

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Heat a lug of oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat and saute the onion, garlic and ginger for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garam masala, cumin, paprika and chilli powder and cook for a further minute to release the flavours. Add the chicken mince and cook, breaking up lumps with the wooden spoon for a few minutes, or until browned. Stir in the canned tomatoes, 2 tablespoons of the butter, muscovado sugar, ½ cup of milk and the Greek yoghurt. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for about ten minutes to reduce slightly. Season to taste and stir in the lime zest and juice. Remove from the heat.

Meanwhile, melt the remaining butter in a saucepan over low heat. Once foamy, stir in the flour and cook for a couple of minutes. Remove from the heat, season and whisk in the remaining milk, before returning to the heat and bringing to the boil for a couple of minutes. Remove from the heat.

To assemble, add enough meat sauce to cover the base of a large baking dish. Layer over a third of the pasta, followed by a third of the bechamel and then, you guessed it, a third of the cheese. Repeat the process from meat, to pasta, bechamel and cheese until you finish with a cheesy top before transferring to the oven to bake for 40 minutes, or until cooked through. Remove from the oven and allow to rest for a further half an hour before devouring, like an icon.


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Mistress Isamaple Crookies

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the top five played a little quiz game for the power to assign teachers for this year’s makeover. Despite having to read herself for the win, Loosey paired everyone with people that made sense for each of them. Well, except for Luxx, who she decided to take revenge on for reading her for filth all season. While Loosey and her new sister looked like legit twins, the judges felt they had no chemistry on the runway. Luxx gave nothing to build their family resemblance, though her new daughter did look like Jennifer Collidge which should count for something. Ultimately Anetra was perfect from start to finish, which handed her her third win of the season while Luxx and Loosey faced off in the lip sync, with Luxx coming out on top and sending Loosey out in fifth place.

Backstage the dolls soon discovered Loosey was completely annoyed to be eliminated, while Luxx found it hilarious that Loosey was eliminated after trying to play dirty. Mistress on the other hand was just proud of Loosey for finally admitting she was playing the game, in addition to being stiff competition. Luxx admitted she was heartbroken to have been in the bottom so close to the end, while everyone was just excited to have made it to the top four. Anertra was proud of herself for being neck and neck with the one and only Ms Colby, while Sasha herself was just hoping for no last minute goopery costing her place in the competition.

The next day Ru dropped by to announce that for their final maxi challenge, the dolls would be writing and recording verses on Ru’s song Blame It On the Edit before filming the film clip with Miguel Zarate (swoon). And sitting with Ru and Michelle for a tic tac lunch, like icons. Oh and then he announced that only three of them will be going through to the finale, which obviously left them gagged. Just as Sasha feared. After Ru left, the dolls split up to listen to the song and work on their lyrics. Mistress was obviously super confident given she is shady as hell, while Sasha is glad she knows words. Anetra was planning to lean into her brand – voguing and sex – while Luxx felt like she had it in the bag, so went aside to have a nap like Pearl and Jinkx before her.

Sasha was first up to chat with Ru and Michelle, welcoming them to the meet and greet before talking about her epic career leading to this point. She admitted that she has struggled throughout the season, not wanting to do too well given she didn’t want the girls to hate her. She opened up about how her lack of support from her mother is what makes her worry about gaining people’s approval. She then went very deep, talking about how she was left everything after her father died, and how that was almost a seal of approval. And ugh, crown her.

Speaking of crowning her, Sasha’s co-winner Anetra was up next, talking through growing up Mormon and how drag is what opened her up to every colour of the rainbow. Michelle then gushed about how good her and Marcia’s lip sync was – shoulda been a double save – labelling it the greatest of all time. She spoke about how she learnt to vogue in Vegas, while Ru praised her for always bringing something to the challenges that only she can. Oh and you best believe winning would mean everything to her, and prove everything was worth it.

Mistress was next up, talking about what made her such an outspoken icon and how that got under Loosey’s skin. Who she in turn felt was different on camera to what she was like when the red light went out. She spoke about how she came to the competition wanting to prove why she deserves the crown, and that she desperately wants to make everyone proud. Particularly Mama Chavelle, winner of Season 16. Oh and you best believe she is now in her top three era. She tapped out with Luxx who spoke about how she came to the competition ready to serve looks at every moment. Oh and she opened up about going to Cicely Tyson high school and honestly, I am jealous as all hell. She spoke about how her parents taught her to be confident and proud of herself, and you know she took that and ran and now, is always ready to prove a bitch wrong.

The top four came together on set to work through the choreography and given Sasha is serving Barbwire realness, you know she is winning. Everyone admittedly looked amazing, though Mistress kinda got stuck in her head, worried about learning it all in time and ugh, it sucks to see someone so confident get so nervous. Without any time to process things, the back-up dancers were brought in and the dolls were put through their paces in front of the red light. Luxx was perfect from start to finish, while Anetra was surprisingly nervous. Most importantly, Luxx lost a nail in her outfit and ugh, she is hilarious and I am going to miss her when the season is over. They traded out with Sasha and Mistress and similar to the others, Sasha was perfect at every damn moment, while Mistress was so focused on the choreography, she didn’t give the attitude.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to prepare for the final runway, with everyone shocked by how quickly the challenge has gone. Luxx and Sasha were obviously thrilled to have nailed the challenge, while Mistress vowed not to let the choreo get her down. Anetra too was nervous, given it took her some time to get it down, though was confident she did enough in the end. Mistress asked everyone to talk through their first impressions, with Anetra loving Luxx from the start while the dolls were all shocked by how kind and down to earth Sasha is, given she is as sickening as her legacy. Mistress always knew Anetra would be a silent assassin, while everyone was gagged by how much she has grown as she came into her own around the dolls. Anetra meanwhile loved that while Mistress is obnoxious, she showed she also had a massive heart too.

Talk turned to all of the feuds and damn, these girls really fed us with the drama. Well, Luxx at least, who found herself at the centre of all the -gates. Before they turned their attention to the fact one of them will win, with everyone confident they deserve to make it to the top but also nervous about falling so close to the end.

It was family only on the judges panel as Ru, Michelle and Ross took their places on the panel as Anetra opened the Drag Excellence runway looking stunning in a fitted blue velvet gown in honour of her Asian heritage. Luxx meanwhile was perfect in a shimmering white gown with a huge, curly wig. Sasha meanwhile was glorious in a silver crystal gown, referencing her Hawaiin heritage in the best ways possible. Before Mistress closed the show in a fringed, crystal cheetah print gown and ugh, I love it. Particularly since she wore it in a pageant previously, meaning she is the Kate Middleton of drag. When it came to the film clip, we may be able to Blame it on the Edit because everyone was stunning. Anetra was fierce as hell and v on brand, Luxx was full chanteuse, Sasha was sexy and perfect in every moment, while Mistress rapped the house down and delivered all the attitude.

After thanking the top four for all nailing the challenge, the judges praised Anetra for combining old and new on the runway and looking beautiful. They praised her for getting stronger from week to week, and truly shine when she let them in. Oh and Ru was proud of her, no doubt for showing off her branding prowess by always walking the duck. Luxx was praised for having such impeccable taste and always looking perfect. And showing off everything she has to offer. They all spoke about Sasha’s legacy and how somehow she exceeded all expectations week after week, and constantly slayed. And more importantly, she showed her massive heart and how she is always giving back to her sisters and the community and AGAIN, crown her. While Mistress was beloved for always giving polish and charm, truly showing Houston excellence at every moment. Though also being a versatile and intelligent performer each week.

Ru pulled out a picture of 5 year old Isiah, asking Anetra what she would tell herself, asking him to hold on through the dark days, knowing that one day the world will be safe for you to shine. And it will be so much better than she can even imagine. Luxx told baby Justin that all his dreams will come true, he just needs to know that everything that comes his way is what makes him who he is. Sasha told baby Sasha that she is a stunning woman, and that trusting her instincts will be what makes her dreams come true so just hold it down and know that you are loved. While Mistress told herself that despite how confusing life will be most of the time, that fire within will be what keeps him holding on to hope and that eventually, he will find his tribe and achieve the world.

Backstage the dolls were gagged by the fact one of them will still go home, with Mistress in particular nervous about struggling through the challenge given she has slayed all season long. The dolls rallied around her, agreeing she has done so well that it would suck to be in the bottom. Luxx was fairly confident she would not be in the bottom, despite Mistress reminding her she is kinda delusional. Sasha praised them all for being different and giving something unique, while they reflected on how great they have been throughout the season. Mistress’ least favourite moment was calling Marcia’s drag cheap and her favourite was proving herself in the Snatch Game. Anetra called Luxx’s highlight wearing her Ru look, while she loved saying Loosey should go home. While Sasha pointed out Mistress struggled with Love Connie, while her least favourite was the standup challenge. Everyone agreed that Anetra’s favourite moment should have been her ninja realness in the talent show, though.

Ultimately Sasha took out her fourth win of the season and booked her place in the finale, before Luxx was sent through to join her. Meaning Anetra and Mistress would have to face off for the final spot to Kelly Rowland’s – I don’t care about David Guetta – When Love Takes Over and ugh, they were stunning. Both of the dolls leant into the passion of the song, hitting every lyric, being silly when required and obviously serving tricks  as Anetra walked the duck once again, as Mistress tried to swat her out of the competition. It was cute, it was fun and well, thankfully Ru went back on her word, going with a double shantay and keeping both of the girls in the running moving on to the finale.

Despite the fact all the dolls were kept in place, I had already gotten busy in the kitchen, so tapped Mistress on the shoulder and told her that I’d like to pre-emptively celebrate her run in the competition. And given the number of wins was the fairest way to decide who would be first, she was the first I’d be catching up with. While she questioned whether that meant I didn’t think she would win, I pulled her in for a massive hug to stop her questioning, instead getting her to focus on how good her run was. As despite only getting one win, there is no denying how good she has been each and every week. Which alone makes her more than worthy of a shot at the crown and a piping hot batch of Mistress Isamaple Crookies.

These cookies are the perfect little snack – Halloween decorations, or not. The delicate flavour of the maple works perfectly with the crunchy cookies to provide the ultimate all rounder snack. Perfect for celebrating a queen that is good at nearly everything.

Enjoy!

Mistress Isamaple Crookies
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
300g flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp kosher salt, plus a pinch for icing
150g unsalted butter, at room temperature
200g muscovado sugar
1 egg, at room temperature
160ml maple syrup
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup pecans, roughly chopped
115g icing sugar
any sprinkles you feel inspired by, for decoratin’

Method
Sift the flour, cinnamon and baking soda into a bowl, and add the salt. Meaning in a stand mixer, cream 120g of butter and the muscovado sugar on medium for a couple of minutes, or until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides, add the egg and mix for a further minute on low. With the mixer running, add half the maple syrup and vanilla extract, mixing until just combined. Remove from the stand mixer and fold through the dry ingredients and pecans before returning to the mixer and beating for a minute or so, until well combined. Form the dough into a disc, wrap in cling wrap and transfer to the fridge to chill for a couple of hours.

Preheat the oven to 180°C and line two baking sheets. 

Once the dough is chill, using an ice cream scoop, roll out 1-2 tablespoon balls of dough and pop on a baking sheet, allowing plenty of room for spread. Once all rolled out, pop the sheets in the oven and allow to bake for about 15 minutes, or until lightly browned and cooked through. Remove from the oven and allow to cool on the tray for a couple of minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

While the cookies get chill, pop the remaining butter and maple syrup in a small saucepan and whisk over a low heat until combined. Whisk in the icing sugar and a pinch of salt and stir until it has come together again. Drizzle the warm glaze over the cookies, add sprinkles for fun and allow to set for five minutes before devouring. Like a winner.


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Golden Sarup & Wadamom Dumplings

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the three tribes were well and truly settling into island life. Despite being left out of the Helen vote, Sarah was assured by her fellow Tikans they are a solid four and will stick together to the end. Though she was still concerned about what would happen should they return to tribal council. After a bunch of shenanigans with cages, keys and fake idols, the tribes came together for the latest immunity challenge where you know Claire sat out once again. Sadly for her, however, it made her a target once Soka lost immunity and everyone realised she was disposable. While Frannie and Heidi tried to sway their respective partners to target Josh instead, the terrible timeline continued as we lost yet another iconic woman to the pre-merge.

The next day the new Soka tribe did a little sunrise meditation session to work through losing Claire. Not that Josh really needed it though, given he was firmly the swing vote between two pairs within the tribe. Sadly though, that wasn’t how things actually were with the two pairs actually keen to work together to take him out and go into the merge as two powerful duos. We ventured to Tika where the foursome were wandering around the jungle and discovered a new X made of sticks added to the cage, with everyone speculating what it could mean. We then learnt Carolyn is playing 5D chess, hiding the X on the cage and marking an X over where she hid the fake idol to trick someone into finding it. And ugh, I love her so much. The group went back to camp speculating what the X could mean as Sarah discovered Carolyn’s fake idol without anyone noticing. Even Carolyn, though she was grateful somebody found it.

The tribes met with Probst for the first reward challenge of the season where they would race up a ladder, over a cargo net and then shoot sandbags at a target. The trick being that every person on the tribe each needs to hit one of the targets in order to take the win. That being for either a massive or decent tarp, in addition to assigning which person from each tribe goes on the next journey. Danny got Soka out to the lead, followed by Carson for Tika while Brandon eventually connected to keep Ratu in it. Soka continued to power ahead as Ratu overtook Tika as Carolyn struggled to make the shot. Ultimately Soka took out victory before Carolyn finally connected leaving Tika and Ratu to battle for second with Ratu taking it out before Yam Yam even got a chance to toss his sack.

With the challenge out of the way things got interesting as Soka sent Josh, Carson and Jaime on their journey where they bonded as they trekked up a mountain. When they reached the pinnacle, they split up and made their way to a table where they were each given a hidden immunity idol to use up to the merge. The catch being they will not be going home to their tribes, instead pulling out a new buff with Josh joining Tika, Jaime going to Soka and Carson heading over to Ratu. Josh was first to meet his new tribe as Yam Yam, Carolyn and Sarah were gagged to have a new member. Despite welcoming him with open arms, Yam Yam was heartbroken to have lost Carson given they had become so close. The OG Tika’s tried to get to know Josh with Sarah thinking he was a surgeon, though he promptly lied about it and said he was a personal trainer. Sadly for him, Yam Yam could see right through his lie and he and Sarah secretly picked apart his timeline and confirmed they couldn’t trust him.

Over at Ratu Carson was regaling the new tribe with the journey that brought him here and while I love Carson, the fact that his first move to ingratiate himself was to throw Yam Yam under the bus as the leader breaks my heart. Sad to have lost his closest ally, Matthew pulled Carson aside to fill him in on what has been going on within the tribe to try and build trust. And while he left out the fact Jamie’s idol is fake, I love how hard he is playing. Soka were equally gagged to see Jaime arriving at their camp and while I would assume she is completely screwed, she is so kind and upbeat, I don’t see them wanting to get rid of her too easily. The OG Soka’s were concerned about her having an idol and spoiling their plans, so Danny got to work looking through her things though decided she was all good. Despite the fact she has one real and one fake idol.

The new tribes reconvened with Jeffrey for the latest immunity challenge where they would dive into the ocean one at a time, climb a tower and leap off to grab a key before swimming to a balance beam and walking over it. Once the four keys were collected, they would unlock puzzle pieces and solve said puzzle. Because, duh. Josh got Tika out to an early lead until Brandon powered across the balance beam and snatched the lead. While Danny was left right out. Lauren missed her key, meaning Brandon had to double back to collect one, given Soka and Tika time to close the gap. Well, Soka at least, as Yam Yam got stuck on the balance beam. Heidi and Matt got to work on the puzzle for Soka as Kane and Carolyn raced to make it to the end of the course, before Kane started struggling on the beam. Once Soka confirmed their win, Ratu and Tika powered through their puzzle before Lauren and Carson pulled ahead, securing immunity for Ratu and sending Tika back to tribal council. Just.

Back at camp the tribe were dejected by the loss, with Yam Yam disappointed but ok, given Josh is a super easy target as the newbie. Sadly Yam Yam told Carolyn she would be the decoy vote and while she said she was ok at the moment, she was super annoyed by it and sick of being told to accept being the secondary target. Yam Yam and Sarah pulled Josh aside to loop in him, assuring him that they desperately want to work with him and get rid of Carolyn. Though Sarah admitted she was a little concerned about him having an idol and assured us that should he play one, she will be playing hers. Josh then went to Carolyn and straight up told her that not only is she their target, but that he has an idol and would play it on her while they put their votes on Sarah and get her out of the game. Giving Carolyn the choice to send Josh out of the game or tell him where to actually play the idol and blindside Sarah.

At tribal council Josh spoke about how shocked he was to have been swapped to the new tribe and while he was an easy target, Sarah and Yam Yam spoke about how keeping him around could help build an alliance with his friends in Soka. Yam Yam spoke about how he may not feel like he is friends with his OGs anymore, which upset Carolyn given it felt like he was over her and wanted her out. As they started to fight, Josh admitted he was living for the chaos, though knew that the fight could all be a cover to make him feel safe. Carolyn felt that her loyalty was being ignored, as Sarah and Yam Yam spoke about aligning with Soka meaning Carolyn was clearly the target. If it isn’t an act. With that the tribe voted and Josh played his idol on himself while Sarah and Carolyn held onto theirs – whether Sarah’s was real or not doesn’t matter here, TBH – before Carolyn and Josh’s votes sent Sarah from the game. To Yam Yam’s shock and horror.

As often happens, Sarah found her way to Loser Lodge by following my tears of rage. This time due to having lost yet another iconic woman pre-merge. I mean, in the words of Taylor Armstrong – enough. I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her that the small starting tribes seem to have run their course, given time and time again, women and minorities are going out with just a few votes for no other reason than there aren’t enough people around to strategise with (or vote out). Add in a sea of advantages and well, refer back to Taylor ok? That being said, the new era has given us plenty of icons for another Second Chances season and that is enough to celebrate with a big batch of Golden Sarup & Wadamom Dumplings.

These fluffy dumplings are the perfect, soothing dish to warm your soul. Sticky and sweet with a beautifully spiced kick, they melt in your mouth and take away the pain of yet another season of femicide (thank f- Liz overcame this trend).

Enjoy!

Golden Sarup & Wadamom Dumplings
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
100g butter, diced
1 ⅓ cups muscovado sugar
¼ cup golden syrup
1 ⅓ cups flour
1 ½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cardamom
¼ tsp cinnamon
⅔ cup milk
Vanilla Ice Cream, to serve

Method
Place 60g butter, 1 ¼ cups of muscovado sugar and the golden syrup in a large frying pan with 2 cups cold water and cook over a low heat for about 5 minutes, or until the sugar has dissolved. Crank the heat up to medium and bring to the boil, and cook for a few minutes until it reduces before removing from the heat.

Combine the flour, cardamom, cinnamon and butter in a bowl and, using your fingers, rub the butter through until it resembles wet sand before stirring through the remaining muscovado. Make a well in the centre, pour in the milk and stir with a wooden spoon until it comes together as a wet dough.

Return the caramel to a medium heat and carefully drop in a few tablespoons of batter at a time, leaving a little bit of space to allow them to puff up as they cook. Cover with a lid or some foil, reduce to low and simmer for 15 minutes, or until they are cooked through.

Serve immediately with a generous coating of the caramel and a hearty dollop of ice cream.


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