Mushrooms

Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes were given the options between enjoying a feast together or returning to their camps with a clue with the easiest to find immunity idol known to man. Knowing things were dire with no easy target, Ri, Mark and Eden opted for idols at Rebels, as Ri pipped the boys at the post and jagged it. While Alex grabbed the Titans one after Feras spotted it and left it for a few hours until Alex could figure it out. But hey, he was better than Aileen. While at the feast, Kelli was busy spilling all Kirby’s secrets to Kitty. After Rebels stormed away with immunity, the Titans all decided Kelli was too chaotic and needed to go, finally forcing Feras and Kirby to put down their weapons. Kirby though decided to keep things just that little bit messy, trying to spook the boys into playing their idols at the same time. Sadly for her, both of them held firm as Kelli was shown the door. But did it ruin relationships? Who knows.

The next day things were very chill at the Titans camp as Kirby slowly woke up and spoke about how gagged she was that Kelli was blindsided. Pointing out that it is potentially the biggest of the season. Alex, obvi, was thrilled his nemesis was gone, while Kirby and Feras were just happy to be on the same page, knowing they need each other for the next phase of the game. She was also grateful to have Valeria and Mark onside, thinking her relationship with V is the key to not just moving forward but making the end. Alex and Valeria caught up, with Alex keeping his cards close, though admitted Mark is definitely on the outs of the OG Titans, which was all she needed to hear to take over this week’s iconic Shonee revenge arc.

The skies opened up as JLP and the tribes came together by the beach where they were gagged to learn that they would be merging. Meaning the Middle Aged Mafia is about the go, no? Eden was thrilled to have made the merge, not just due to now being dateable, but also to rocket up his game. Mark was excited to see what happens, while Valeria ominously mentioned that things are about to get murky and people best keep their wits about them, lest they be blindsided.

Instead of sending everyone back to camp, JLP put them through their paces in the first individual reward challenge where they would stand on a thin bar and hold an upturned bow and balance a ball. With the victor winning $60K, a bed for the night and the title of spectator at the next tribal council where they can watch and vibe, knowing they are safe. Powerless, but safe. Caroline was the first out of the challenge before everyone moved down to narrower sections of the beam after 10 minutes. That claimed a few more scalps as Ray, Winna and Kirby all dropped in quick succession. After 20 minutes, they moved on to the narrowest section which led to Mark falling on the transition before Feras, Kitty, Jaden and Alex soon followed. Aileen was next to go, followed by Eden, who made the odd choice to squat. After 35 minutes, Ri dropped out of nowhere, finally followed by Scott, handing Valeria victory. Which tragically meant she wouldn’t be able to personally get her revenge tonight.

The merged tribe made their way back to camp, delighting in how beautiful Valeria’s bed looked. Scott meanwhile was feeling a little odd and emotional, worried about how the next phase will play out. And given he named the merged tribe Tasi, I am hoping he will thrive. He started to get to know some of the newbies, particularly vibing with Kitty. Ri and Kirby caught up by the fire, with Kirby telling her she will catch up with Scott before telling her any plans. While Caroline and Kitty were desperately whispering to Jaden that they need to keep the Titans together. Feras meanwhile was making lots of friends, which made Caroline nervous. As such, she pulled Alex, Ri and Kitty aside to try and lock in a majority, and while he sounds like he is interested, I think Alex is definitely non-committal.

Caroline then decided that she needed to catch up with Valeria and make sure she doesn’t realise that they orchestrated Viola’s downfall. She and Kitty lay it on thick, talking about how Mark doesn’t deserve to make it to the end and isn’t trustworthy, so they are glad to have her back on their side. And oh ladies, you’re screwed. Mark and Feras caught up to talk about plans, though instead of locking anything in, Mark wandered off to find Winna and Valeria to loop them in on what actually happened on the second Rebels tribe. With both of them living for his attempts at revenge, and looking forward to working together to achieve it. Eventually. Valeria then scrubbed up and made herself comfortable in her bed, offering to take people’s confession and all around living her best life. And yes, I love that for her.

The next day the tribe reconnected with JLP for the first individual immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a bar up using their legs, to keep a chute holding a ball upright. With the last one holding their ball jagging the win. Kirby was rather confident that wouldn’t be her, so opted to rest instead. She was followed out by Raymond, Kitty and Caroline, with the last two delighting the hell out of Valeria. Mark was shaking out as Kirby told Scott and Ri to just drop, given they aren’t at risk. And I feel like Scott isn’t loving this arrogance. Eden, Aileen and Rianna all dropped in quick succession, before Scott eventually followed. Feras then dropped out of nowhere, as everyone started to whisper about needing anyone but Alex to win, making me feel like we’ve missed some key scenes. After ten minutes, Mark finally put himself out of his misery by dropping, followed by Alex, as Jaden and Winna started doing crunches for fun. The duo were still battling after 20 minutes before Jaden dropped, given he didn’t like the look of the necklace and felt it would look good on Winna instead.

Back at camp everyone was feeling super nervous, unsure how things would play out at the first tribal council. The OG Titans were feeling quietly confident however, given Winna is immune and Valeria has safety without power. Ri joined them as they quickly locked in a split vote between Raymond and Feras, with Eden suggesting King Ray needs to be the one to go to weaken Feras. So bye Eden, I now hate you. They split up to lock in extra votes with Alex happy to do whatever as long as it isn’t him – swoon, just like Sandra! Mark and Ray caught up on the shore, while Eden continued to loop in OG Rebels, as Kirby and Feras watched on, laughing about how silly they were.

Ri and Valeria caught up with Kirby to tell her the plan, and while Ri thought it felt right, Kirby thankfully put her foot down. As such, Valeria threw out the possibility of blindsiding Kitty instead, given she is the most likely person from the Middle Aged Mafia to win immunity and ruin their future plans. The wind then got super intense, blowing an absolute gale and almost destroying the shelter. Scott meanwhile was struggling under the pressure, not wanting Kitty to go, given they had formed a bond. While also being super worried about Kirby growing too close to Valeria, and handing her the power instead of them. Sadly for the OG Rebels, he then told Kitty that the votes were actually coming for her, as Kirby watched on in shock. And promptly pulled him away for a walk to talk about life outside of the game.

The Titans started to panic, wondering where he heard that name and as such, decided to find out directly from him.They cornered poor Scott, along with Alex and Ri, before Scott eventually named Mark and Valeria as the source. Caroline and Kitty then angrily went to the shelter to confront them, getting rather hostile with them before Valeria eventually just decided to lay the blame with Feras. Which calmed them all down and lulled them into a false sense of security. Mark caught up with Eden and Ri, pointing out that Caroline and Kitty confronted him when he didn’t even do anything. Eden tried to broker peace, getting them to abandon the split vote and instead load their votes on Raymond. Before telling Alex to vote with them and play his idol for Kitty, because ok Eden, sure. That will happen. Caroline then yelled at Valeria for wearing Nathan’s jacket, given she had claimed it and damn, the old gals are spiralling.

At tribal council Valeria took her place on the jury bench as Winna spoke about how grateful he is to have immunity, given the camp was super chaotic all afternoon, with multiple plans and agendas. Suggesting others should have tried harder in the challenge. Raymond spoke about feeling like he knows what is happening, though is also sure he is missing out on a lot of things. Alex spoke about how the sheer size of the tribe made coming up with a plan all the more difficult. Eden mentioned that the first merge tribal council is one of the biggest, given it draws the line in the sand and sets the agenda moving forward. Caroline agreed it would help clarify where everyone stands, as Kitty mentioned that her name came out there. Talking about how people underestimate her, but she is actually smart and successful and as such, if she is still in the tribe tomorrow, she will be gunning for the person that threw her name out. Which is more incentive to get rid of her, TBH.

Kitty grew more and more fired up, as Scott spoke about how his innate empathy is really making the game really hard right now. And while making the merge is a dream come true, he has been struggling with his mental health and as such, wants to quit, to let the people wanting to stick around and fight have that shot. He opened up about how he has always been an optimist, despite his mental health, and in the game, he hasn’t exactly had a reprieve. At all. Kirby spoke about how she has noticed how Scott has started to struggle and she supports whatever he needs. Eden spoke about how proud of him he is, for doing what is right for him. Alex started to cry, Caroline told him how brave he is before he sadly stood up, grabbed his torch and headed out.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and then promptly broke down in his arms. Scott was such a delight to have on this season, and while I support him leaving to look after himself, I am equally heartbroken to not see a fellow queer person thrive. And ideally win, because trust, he has all the skills to make it to the end. After reminding him of all those things, I reiterated that I am so proud of him before pulling him in for a final hug as we joyfully smashed a warm Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler.

This dish combines two of my favourite, warming things – potato and cream. And hot damn, is it good. Earthy, rich and packing a hidden punch, this quick and easy meal (assuming the gnocchi is already set) still feels decadent. Which is always iconic, no?

Enjoy!

Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g gnocchi
3 tablespoon unsalted butter
2 cups mushrooms, thinly sliced
4 shallots, minced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp rosemary, roughly chopped
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 cup chicken stock
1 tablespoon wholegrain mustard
1 cup thickened cream
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil, and once rollicking, cook the gnocchi per packed instructions.

Pop the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and once foamy, add the mushrooms. Cook, stirring, for 10 minutes or so, or until they are browned and all their liquid has been reabsorbed. Add the shallots and cook for a further few minutes, before stirring in the garlic, rosemary and chilli and cooking off for a minute.

Stirring all the time, slowly pour in the stock, followed by the cream and then the parmesan. Cook, stirring frequently until the sauce comes together. Season to taste and stir in the gnocchi.

Before stirring and devouring.


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Chickemily Flippenne in Parmesan Cream Sauce

Main, Pasta, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Austin handed his idol off to Julie ahead of a team immunity challenge, unsure what weird variation of tribal council could screw his ally out of the game. Thankfully it was all for nought as Jeff opted against too much chaos, allowing the Rebas to take control of the tribe. After Emily jagged a reward and took the ladies for an overnight vacay, they locked in a plan to blindside Bruce should he not win immunity. The only catch being his pesky idol. As such, they got to work convincing him he was safe and that Mama J – aka Julie – was the true target as she was such a massive threat to win. After Austin took out immunity, Emily worked overtime on Bruce to the point I wasn’t actually sure what the plan was until everyone banded together and blindsided Bruce with an idol in his pocket.

Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to have pulled off an epic blindside. None more so than Katurah, who was giddy to have finally felled her lecturing, micro-managing nemesis. Julie meanwhile was shocked that she was the one he voted for, given ironically, she was the only one willing to work with him. Emily jumped in to provide context, pointing out she went to Bruce and told him that Julie was playing him and that she was happy to join him to blindside her to protect him, which is the actual reason he never played his idol. And while everyone was shocked and excited to hear how detailed her plan was, Julie grew wary of just how threatening Emily could prove to be.

After everyone went to sleep, the Reba 4 caught up by the shore, congratulating each other for officially taking control before promptly locking in an official final four. Julie and Drew then went back to camp, leaving Austin and Dee to flirt and be all cute as they watched the stars and yeah, I ship them. As they likened themselves to Boston Rob and Amber (kinda), and ugh, I love love. But given they vowed to take each other to the final three, you know someone random is winning the final immunity challenge and they will be the duo facing off in fire for the final spot. Mark. My. Words.

The next day Jake continued to feel left out, hoping that the seven votes he has received thus far will be it for the game. Meaning he will be a zero vote finalist. Mark those words too. He and Katurah caught up, locking in an alliance to go to the end, no doubt because Katurah can already tell that he wouldn’t get votes at the end. Jake opened up about being a lawyer, encouraging Katurah and telling her she could be a lawyer herself, if she wanted. After Julie joined them, Katurah felt compelled to share her story and while she didn’t admit to being a lawyer, she spoke about her harrowing childhood, being pulled out of school at 10 after her family joined a cult and that she missed years, before her mum pulled them out of the cult when she was earmarked as the leaders next wife. And then she worked her arse off to catch up and continued to thrive until she achieved her dreams to fight for other black women.

And yeah, you know I am rooting hard for Katurah now.

A boat then arrived at camp offering a journey for one, with everyone wanting to go, meaning they had to draw rocks. With Emily, the most reluctant, the one to win the trip. As she departed, Julie and Drew spoke about Emily slowly building her resume and being a threat. Julie then suggested that maybe now would be the time to get rid of her, which Drew quickly shut down. Making Julie nervous as she noticed him getting more and more suspicious. Julie and Dee caught up, with the latter agreeing that Drew is the one she is most suspicious of. Particularly since he is close with Emily, and they just can’t trust that she will tell the truth about what happens on her journey.

Speaking of which, Emily arrived at Journey Island where she wandered the shore and discovered the ring puzzle that four people failed at earlier this season. However she was too scared about not having her vote at seven, so bounced, despite knowing everyone would be back at camp talking about targeting her.

Katurah and Jake were busy practising fire with Drew, who wanted to know who they would be willing to go to the end with. And while they were coy, Katurah agreed that she just doesn’t think she could beat Julie or Dee. Leading to Drew, eventually, getting them to agree that getting rid of Julie should be their absolute priority. Katurah then wandered off and caught up with Austin, pointing out that she isn’t really sure who she wants to go to the end with, but she does already know who she doesn’t want to go with: Julie. With Austin quickly and calmly agreeing that she is right, particularly since she wanted to get Julie out, followed by Emily. Not his girlfriend. Austin then caught up with Drew to see what he was thinking, with Drew working hard to convince him that getting rid of Julie should be the priority, given she isn’t even willing to return his idol.

Emily returned to camp, talking everyone through the experience in full, honest detail. Which obviously meant Dee and Julie didn’t buy it. Emily went for a walk, with Drew following to let her know that Julie is well and truly out to get her. Leaving the duo to go person to person to rally the troops against each other. 

Jeffrey finally made an appearance for this week’s immunity challenge where they would have to unravel rope that they would be tethered to, then race through a series of obstacles, toss sandbags at blocks and then use the blocks to solve a rainbow puzzle. Oh and the winner would get an epic BBQ reward for them back at camp. Jake was first to make a start before quickly realising he didn’t have enough rope, allowing Drew to power ahead as the rest of the tribe struggled. Austin closed the gap and it became a battle as the boys tried to figure out the puzzle. With Drew eventually figuring out how to make it work on both sides, handing himself immunity. As he channelled Michelle and kicked shit, just for funsies. You know Probst then offered Drew the chance to share his BBQ with someone, opting to take Jake given they haven’t had a reward. And then Austin, to keep guys’ night alive.

Back at camp the girls went off to luxuriate in the ocean and read up on the history of buffs, given they are all planning to target either Julie and Emily. Eventually Dee suggested they vote out Jake just to make things less awkward. We then caught up with the boys who were smashing their burgies and TBH, it truly did look lovely. They then debated the merits of getting rid of Julie or Emily and while Jake didn’t exactly trust anyone, he did trust that they needed him this round and as such, happily jumped on board the Julie vote. Agreeing to keep Dee out of the loop as long as possible to reduce the chances of her playing the idol.

They came back together where the guilt started to play on Austin as he worried about telling Dee. As such, they went for a walk together along the shore with Dee sharing she is locked to get rid of Emily, before Austin casually, awkwardly, shared that there is currently a growing movement against Julie. Which Dee obviously hated, though she tried to hide it, given she didn’t want her emotions getting the best of her. After thinking on it, she figured trusting her heart has proven successful thus far, so caught up with Julie at the shelter and told her to play her idol tonight. Julie then caught up with Jake and Emily to suggest the plan was one of the girls, though she would happily make a move against Austin if they wanted. After Julie went for a walk, Emily told Julie that she is trying to rally the troops against Austin, which resulted in all of them descending into chaos. As Drew and Austin bickered about whether Dee spilled the beans and Dee tried to talk Julie out of targeting Austin and to stick to the plan to blindside Emily.

At tribal council Drew and Julie spoke about how the game gets easy as it goes along, given everyone becomes more and more desensitised to blindsiding people. Katurah spoke about the fact you need to successfully compartmentalise, while Emily pointed out that everyone has full bags with them tonight as nobody can trust they will be safe. Drew tried to be cagey before unleashing about how they are in a new page of history, a wanky way of saying they are thinking who they want to face off against in the final three. Julie and Emily spoke about how they have tried to steel their emotions as they planned to vote out someone they love, with Austin agreeing it has come to the point of having to simply figure out who’s motives align with yours. While Katurah admitted she was scared about the chance of an idol, given everyone played their cards so close to their chest.

With that the tribe voted as everyone – including Dee, as per the plan – voted for Julie, before she played Austin’s gifted idol in a very showy move, sending Emily out of the game with a single, solitary vote. Emily found her way to Ponderosa by following my screaming tears, before pulling me in for a massive hug and assuring me she would be fine. Sadly for her, it didn’t pacify me, as I screamed that I would not be. After 40 minutes of heaving sobs though, I finally realised I will be fine because Emily is one of the breakout stars of the new era and as such, will return multiple times over the years and will likely win on her second outing. And until then, we’ll always have Chickemily Flippenne in Parmesan Cream Sauce.

This is one of those perfect soothing dishes for the end of the year when we’re all limping to a break. Rich and creamy, with a sweet punch of tomato, this all works in harmony to fill your stomach and warm hearts. Just like Emily throughout the season.

Enjoy!

Chickemily Flippenne in Parmesan Cream Sauce
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g penne
1 tbsp olive oil
2 chicken breasts, diced
1 cup button mushrooms, thinly sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup sundried tomatoes, drained and roughly chopped
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tbsp flour
2 cups cream
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
2 cups baby spinach, washed
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil and cook the pasta per the cooking instructions, minus a minute. Drain, run under cool water and to rest.

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the chicken, stirring, for five minutes or so, or until cooked through. Add the mushrooms, garlic, sundried tomato and Italian seasoning, cooking until fragrant and the mushrooms are soft. Add the butter and flour and cook for a further couple of minutes before stirring in the cream. Bring to a near-boil, reduce to low and stir in the parmesan until smooth. Finally stir in the baby spinach and cook until wilted. Remove from the heat.

Once the pasta is ready, stir through the sauce, season and serve. Then add a little more parmesan and devour, like a boss. Ideally with a glass of confessional wine.


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Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo

Main, Pasta, Poultry, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the producers once again proved that what we lack in budget in the land(s) down under, we make up for in sheer camp and fun. I mean, where else do you hear so many ockerisms and smut from the judges alone. One by one the dolls were felled and once again, Team Kiwi came out on top as CUM! and chippies combined to hand a very well deserved victory to Spankie mother tuckin’ Jackzon as she succeeded the host of her first televised drag competition victory, Kita Mean.

Never forget Kita spreading rumours she was the first boot. What an icon.

But that was then and this is now, as first up to enter our tight little Werk Room this year was Hollywould Star and I love her confidence, despite only being on the scene for a year. Plus her red dress was cute. Ashley Madison dropped by looking perfect in pastel, despite her lack of arse and controversial nature down in Melbourne. Pronounced Mal-bourne, if you’re a local FYI. While Ashley has the reputation as the local bitch, she heard that’s what the dolls in Sydney think of Hollywould, so hopes to see if she is. Or you know, is trying to Alexis Michelle her way out of the villain role and push it on to Hollywould. The first potential winner – aka Kiwi – is Flor, who was living her best life serving all glamour, until a fly flew into her eye, because this, of course, happens in down under. Ivory Glaze arrived serving sleeping beauty on arrival and nerd in confessional, so you know I will ship. Even though winner may get her fired by Ashley, her number one booker.

But well, Ashley couldn’t keep her pants up, so maybe her approval doesn’t really matter.

Feeling the vibe, Amyl was an absolute mess forgetting her name, age and entrance line, so if she doesn’t win, I am absolutely going to lose it. Plus, her entry line was perfection (“Loosen up assholes, Amyl’s here”). Anita’s husband was up next and well, I look forward to Ivanna Drink and her sweet nature. Isis Avis Loren joined the frey and I love her already, because in drag she is sickening but out, she is an artsy nerd and I love me a transformation. Rita Menu was next in, serving silly charm and ugh, give her the crown. She is like the kid from Hunt for the Wilderpeople grown up and therefore must be protected at all costs. We then met Bumpa Love, who is a fucking icon like Gamble from RHOM and while she was living for herself, the little girls were loving her delusion. And then Gabriella Labucci rounded out the cast, arriving in crotchet, dropping farts and I love her and her flaccid dickhead ways.

Her quote.

Ru dropped by to welcome her newest shielas and list out the prize package before forgoing any mini challenge and announcing for their first maxi challenge, they would be throwing a Madi Gras float performance, featuring their own verses on a mash up Superqueen and Sissy that Walk. And because of the budget, one would assume, they would have to arrange their own choreo.

With that, the dolls split up to untuck and kiki, with Flor and Isis speculating who would prove to be their biggest competition. While they felt Rita is likely to be the first one heading out the door, given she hasn’t been doing drag for very long. Hollywould and Amyl meanwhile were excited to not be the solo women of colour, speculating that Flor could be the trade of the season. If she ever took off her mug for them to confirm, that is. 

Everyone split up to work through their lyrics, with Ivory confident in her skills as a songwriter. Sadly for her, Flor and Hollywould weren’t feeling her kind, uplifting words, instead cautioning her to mak sure she lets Ru know who she is with her verse. Hollywould meanwhile was focused all on herself, though thankfully sharing her lyrics lit a fire under Ivory. Rita meanwhile was focused on talking food and serving, while Ashley started to get into her head. Gabriella meanwhile opted to walk around and check in with her besties – lucky she gave out those friendship bracelets on arrival – though sadly just made Ivory more nervous.

The dolls pivoted to the mainstage to work through their choreography with nobody willing to stick their necks out so soon. As such, Ivanna bravely stepped up to lead them, however given Amyl isn’t a confident dancer and Ivory doesn’t know what a boxstep is, it could be a problem. She didn’t have to worry for long though, given Flor and Isis weren’t thrilled by the direction of the choreo, so the latter stepped in like traffic control and directed them all around the stage. Which only made things worse for Amyl and Ivory, while sweet Gabriella was just confused. For no specific reason, like an icon.

Backstage Ivory continued to spiral, breaking down in tears as she wondered why she even thought it was a good idea to apply. Thankfully Isis stepped up to give her a peptalk, encouraging her to take this opportunity to shine. Ivory opened up about her difficult relationship with her parents and how she has always felt the need to be perfect. And even when she was, was made to feel like she should be doing even more.

Elimination Day arrived with Amyl feeling very stressed about her debut performance, while Ivory opened up to the rest of the girls about how their feedback on her lyrics got into her head and as such, she spiraled. And while Hollywould was annoyed she couldn’t see it as constructive, the rest of the dolls were far more supportive. As they split up to beat their mugs, Hollywould and Flor kikied about how they were only trying to help and gave Ivory deathies across the room. Thankfully before a fight could break out, Isis asked who had experienced mardi gras which led to a nice chat about the power of pride and how wonderful it is. Despite the lack of safe spaces being equally located around the country, as Ashley Madison further leant into playing the role of the Alexis Michelle of the season.

Gabriella meanwhile was genuinely being a sweet icon, pulling Ivory aside to make sure things were good between them as she was only trying to be helpful about her verse and would hate to have hurt her feelings in the process. While Flor and Hollywould moved on from the deathies, instead joking about Ivory being in the bottom.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Deva Mahal as the dolls turned the show and well, it was good. Real good. Hollywould was absolute fire, Garbeilla was camp and cute, Flor was on point and Isis was perfect because I love her. At the other end of the pack, poor Amyl was very obviously stuck in her head, Ashley’s outfit looked a couple of sizes too big and Ivory couldn’t find the beat or her own lyrics. 

On the Somewhere Under the Rainbow runway, Isis served a moody, floral butterfly. Ivanna looked like Weird Barbie rocking shimmering disco dots, Amyl gave a tube of lifesavers, Ashley gave Vivienne Westwood tartan, though still couldn’t get an outfit to fit. Rita meanwhile gave gay flag gyro, Bumpa was stunningly feathered and ugh, I wish we saw more of her this episode as she is fun. I mean, the waving and banter with the judges as she walked was just A+. Garbriella gave another lifesaver gown though made it glamour and won the battle, Ivory Glaze gave LBD covered in unicorn cum – who can beat that description? – while Hollywould Star served glamour Black Panther and yeah, she came to slay. As did Flor, giving bright, architectural bug and well, this is clearly why the dolls were confident backstage.

Isis, Ivanna, Rita and Bumpa were sent to safety before Amyl was read for being completely stuck in her head and unable to loosen up, ironically. Ru encouraged her to just believe in herself and feel like the star that she is. Ashley meanwhile was read for the ill fitting garments, though praised for her confidence. Gabriella meanwhile was lavished in praise for being charming, energetic and fun, despite her performance look being a little basic. Ivory meanwhile was read for struggling in the performance – BADLY – though they rightly lived for her stunning runway, which may just save her. She opened up to Ru about being a business analyst and that she doesn’t really believe in herself, though drag is what makes her feel extraordinary. Hollywould meanwhile received wall to wall praise for the performance and the runway. As did Flor, despite the fact they wanted to see her face.

Thankfully though, she did fully beat under her mask and that reveal absolutely delighted them.

Backstage the safe girls were just thrilled to survive the first week before Amyl arrived and immediately started hunting for an iPod to learn the lip sync. And was heartbroken. Ivory meanwhile was disappointed but ready to lip sync, knowing it was inevitable. Ashley meanwhile was busy sobbing about her fucking nipples landing her in the bottom. While Amyl admitted she would just prefer to lip sync against Ashley because she likes Ivory better, so doesn’t want to send her home. Which, lol.

Ultimately Gabriella and Flor were sent to safety as Hollywould took out the first victory of the season. At the other end of the pack, Amyl tragically didn’t get her wish as Ashley narrowly avoided the lip sync – by a nipple, one could say. As soon as Men at Work’s Down Under kicked off, Ivory and Amyl gave the same choreo and energy, but TBH, what else can you do with that song other than some air percussion and jigging. Actually, maybe they could have done some Kath and Kim Irish dancing? In any event, while it was a bit boring, Ru didn’t go the route of Valentina and keep them both – for reasons still unknown, Mexico – instead, rewarding Ivory for giving a little bit camp and polish, tragically leaving Amyl as the Jojo Zaho of the season.

Despite the disappointment, Amyl was in good spirits backstage as I pulled her in for a massive hug and reiterated that even if she didn’t get the memorable place of first boot, her entry would have already made her a beloved, cult queen. And since she has both, that makes her destined for great things, if you ask me! Back to feeling her iconic oats, we turned our attention to celebrating her brief run, plotting her ru-demption on All Stars and smashing a batch of Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo.

There is nothing I love more than a rich, creamy sauce. Even more so when it is combined with my second favourite meat – chicken, as I’m basic – and pasta. Throw in some woody mushrooms and well, you’ve got the ultimate in comfort food.

Enjoy!

Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g penne
1 tsp olive oil
500g button mushrooms, sliced
500g chicken breast, sliced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
500g thickened cream
115g unsalted Butter
75g parmesan cheese, grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup baby spinach, washed

Method
Cook the penne per packet instructions, because girl, I have no idea where to start making penne from scratch. But that is an aside.

Heat the oil in a pan over medium heat and saute the mushrooms for 5 minutes or so, or until browned and crisp. Add the chicken and cook, stirring, for another 5 minutes before seasoning with a good whack of salt and pepper. Reduce heat to low and stir in the cream, butter, garlic and parmesan, and cook until smooth, before stirring in the spinach. Remove from heat.

Combine the pasta and the sauce, season to taste and then devour, thinking wistfully of what could have been.


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Alexicken Mushelle & Leek

Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars Kandy was still worried about the fallout from Heidi quitting after accusing her of plotting against Jimbo, and how it would come back to bite her should she land in the bottom. To distract her, the top five were tasked with designing looks inspired by five previous All Stars winners and while Lala was not feeling confident, she was hopeful Alexis would remember that she literally saved her the week before should she take out the win. Alexis slayed from start to finish, Jimbo was an icon and Jessica slayed the hot glue, leaving some fit issues to land Kandy and Lala in the bottom. And after Alexis beat Nicky Doll in the lip sync, she promptly forgot Lala saved her and sent her from the competition, rather than Kandy.

Backstage the top four were thrilled to have made it all the way to the end, with Alexis hoping that winning one challenge would be enough to snatch the crown. Again, Jimbo is right there. Alexis turned their attention to the vote, admitting it was the hardest of the season given Lala and Kandy had the same track record, so instead she had to go with her gut. Even though she promised Lala she wouldn’t forget her earlier kindness. The dolls sat down to kiki, thrilled to all finally have a win while Jimbo just wanted to know how it feels to win a lip sync. Jessica meanwhile asked to check if Alexis was wrong to pick Lala and after counting the votes, we learnt that the decision was unanimous, meaning everyone should stop hating on Alexis. Myself included. While Jimbo joked about just not being able to see the lipsticks and as such, she actually meant to vote Kandy out. While Kandy admitted she was just straight up gagged to be saved, which led to Jimbo asking why Alexis told Lala she wouldn’t vote her out. With her denying it before implying she and Kandy formed a late breaking alliance.

Which you know will come back to haunt them should Jessica or Jimbo win the next challenge.

The next day the dolls were still pumped to have made it so far, begging the question, do they know we still have three more episodes after this, or is that just information for us? As they debated starting a talk show, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be celebrating TV icon Carson Kressley. By throwing a little roast, obviously. And as the winner of the previous challenge, Alexis got to decide the order. With that, Ru exited and the dolls split up to work on their sets, with Kandy confident after winning the roast in her OG season. Though realistic to know it also painted a target on her back. Jimbo and Jessica meanwhile were nervous, given they have never done a roast, with the latter particularly worried about being too mean. Alexis on the other hand was triggered by her iconic green number in her original roast, complete with her Tamar Braxton feud. 

Talk turned to the dolls approach with everyone agreeing doing a character on top of things is just adding complication. So you know Jimbo was planning to play a character. And by character, Joan Rivers. Her Canadian Snatch Game winning role. Alexis then announced the order of the show, opening it up herself, following with Jessica, Kandy and then closing the show with Jimbo. Which gurl, that is a bad idea because you know she is already going to kill it and going last will just solidify that. Whether Kandy tried to get in her head or not.

Jessica was first up to workshop her set with Michelle and Alec Mapa, and even her sighing had the duo in stitches. While Alec suggested that given she comes across as super sweet, she will be able to go even more brutal. Up next Kandy admitted she is feeling the pressure of having a solid previous roast, but TBH her practice set was awesome and maybe Jimbo does have some competition this week? If she can enunciate and breathe, that is. Alexis meanwhile was trying to forget about her previous attempts at the roast, but given how slow it went she is either heading out the door or this is the fake out edit and she is winning back to back. Wait, no, Jimbo is already perfect – despite Michelle not getting her perfect jokes – so has this in the bag. Despite her actual fake out edit.

Elimination Day arrived and while I have faith in Jimbo, her time with Michelle and Alec had her feeling nervous about making Joan proud. While Alexis was confident that all her set needed were a few little edits and she’d be good to go. Down to earth, Kandy meanwhile was super nervous despite having won a roast, before pointing out Jimbo is acting nervous but she just doesn’t trust it given she is so talented. Katya then ran into the Werk Room to cause chaos and ooze charm before kiki-ing with the dolls. Which was essentially just her trying to find out who wanted to fuck. Alexis then dropped Lala for Kandy, while Katya continued to be an obstruction and I need her back on All Stars yesterday.

“It’s a roast, not a saute” – Katya

Ru, Michelle and Carson took their places on the panel as Alexis opened the show and while she got a few laughs, like the improv, she felt way too stiff and rehearsed. And a bit too saute. Jessica was up next and slayed; a delight from start to finish! Brutal, adorable and oh so stupid, it was, chefs kiss. Kandy too started strong and went oh so hard, and it was so fun to watch. And then, Jimbo. Oh my lord, she was amazing. Stunning, perfect and oh god, crown her now. Brutal, charming and so pitch perfect as Joan, I would watch her read the phonebook. We then got a surprise fifth contestant, Carson’s bestie Thom Filicia’s drag character Jackie Would who was also charming AF.

After de-dragging, Thom joined the panel as Alexis opened the Snow Bunny runway giving glam snow lion and looked stunning. Jessica meanwhile looked like the hottest villain from a children’s ski movie who us gays root for, Kandy gave slutty apres ski in diamonds before Jimbo slayed in a full feathered gown and ugh, it was so, so gorgeous. And expensive. And congratulations on another win. The judges felt like Alexis was a great warm-up act but not up to the same level as the other girls. Though they were thrilled by her growth between seasons by turning such a stunning look. Jessica meanwhile was beloved for giving such a fun roast and for looking beautiful too. Kandy too was praised for her roast, though read for her pacing. Again though, they lived for her runway. Jimbo meanwhile received wall-to-wall praise, particularly for taking a risk and having it pay off perfectly. As did the fact she served far and away the best look. So obviously she took out her fourth win of the season, leaving the rest of the dolls in the bottom. 

Backstage Jimbo was giddy to have snatched her fourth win, while Kandy was disappointed to be in the bottom simply because there was no other option. Though obviously fine with Jimbo winning, because it was obviously deserved. Alexis then tried to toast the dolls before Jan dialled in to praise her momager. Jimbo then got a call from her zaddy brother, mother and partner, Kandy’s mum beamed with pride before Jessica’s family called from PR and ugh, the dolls are crying, I’m crying and it is just so damn sweet.

We then did a hard pivot to deliberations with Kandy assuring Jimbo that they are super close and she won’t do anything to jeopardise it. Alexis meanwhile told Jessica that she and Kandy agreed to look out for each other, though felt like she also couldn’t pick her lipstick. Alexis was next with Jimbo, knowing she had the worst critiques, though promised to support Jimbo if she stayed. Jessica meanwhile promised to look after her fellow latina Kandy, particularly since she slayed the challenge. While Kandy reiterated Alexis also has the worst track record. Jessica rounded things out with Jimbo, reminding her how well she has performed and that she doesn’t think she deserves to go. And that Jimbo shouldn’t vote her out because Puerto Rico would hate her.

The Thom Filicia then dropped by and like Kandy, ugh, I love her so damn much.

With that the dolls voted before Jimbo took her place on stage to learn that this week she’d be facing off against the undisputed lip sync assassin of the franchise, the good Doctor Reverend Silky Nutmeg Ganache, most recently of Canada vs the World fame. And before the song even started, Ru was cackling at the return of Jimbo’s bologna clown. Though when Midnight Star’s Freak-A-Zoid kicked off, both the dolls slayed, but seeing Jimbo embrace her stupidity and acting a fool, it was clear she was finally getting her win. Obviously Silky was her usually iconic self, but by the time Jimbo pulled out the bologna, there was no way she was losing. Which is something Silky picked up on, as she joined in the fun and well, it was stunning. Jimbo finally won her first ever lip sync across the franchise, before sending home Alexis. Who obviously served heartache because you know she knows how to produce.

Backstage I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for always doing what needs to be done. Say what you will about Alexis, but she knows how to deliver good TV – we call her the producer for a reason, people! – and I am so grateful for the gaggery she provided yet again. I reminded her that while she may not have won hearts by sending Lala home, over time, people will remember her as nothing more than an icon and as such, she should be proud. Plus, her glow-up was stunning and she improved her placing, so she did get a little bit of redemption. With a side of Alexicken Mushelle & Leek.

Yeah, yeah – the name is clunky, but this comforting meal is so good you’ll quickly forgive me. Packing a punch of truffle and garlic, it is a wonderful winter meal – Southern hemisphere based, FYI – to warm your soul and eat away your disappointment.

Enjoy!

Alexicken Mushelle & Leek
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
8 chicken thighs
1 leek, washed, trimmed and thinly sliced
300g mushrooms, thinly sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
3 thyme sprigs, leaves removed
2 tsp truffle oil
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup cream
1 bunch broccolini, trimmed
1 lemon, zested and juiced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the chicken and cook for five minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 5 minutes. Transfer to a plate and cover with some foil.

In the same pan, now full of juices in addition to the oil, add the leek, mushroom and garlic and cook, stirring for about five minutes, or until soft, glossy and sweet. Stir in the thyme, truffle oil, stock and cream, and bring to the boil. Add the chicken and juices, and reduce heat to low. Cover and leave to simmer for 20 minutes.

Once the sauce has reduced and the chicken glorious, add the broccolini and cover before cooking for a further five minutes. Once that is tender, stir in the lemon zest and juice, and season to taste with the salt and pepper.

Then serve on a bed of rice and devour, like a production icon.


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Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after finally vanquishing sweet Simon, the tribe battled it out for a guaranteed spot in the final four, with Liz taking out immunity. And promptly rallying Nina and George to work with her to get rid of Matt, given he was her biggest threat. Sadly for her, George was getting nervous about rehashing his mistakes from the previous season, so didn’t want to blindside Gerry in the process of getting rid of Matt. This put him well and truly in the middle of the two duos, making him, once again, all powerful. Sadly for the girls, Nina gave a stellar tribal council performance, which sadly proved that she was the bigger threat – and confirmed she will vote for the best game – scaring George into flipping and taking her out with the boys. Though again, it also gave us our first Twine on the jury.

Back at camp George congratulated everyone on making it to the top four while Liz death stared at him, irate that he had ruined her plan once again and made her path to the final two that much more difficult. Later that night George dropped by to apologise to Liz who straight up cussed him out for signing her death warrant while he was sitting pretty with the boys. George however wasn’t bothered that she was salty given he was essentially choosing which final three he wanted to go with and he still technically has options, given she either votes with him at the next tribal council if he wants to take a shot, or she gets voted out.

The next day Liz was still super nervous, unsure how she was going to navigate the remaining days in the game. And I assume a little bit angry at herself for letting George blindside her again with Nina, just like he did our lord and saviour Shonee Bowtell. Once again though, she knew she had to suck up her feelings and caught up with him in the shelter, with George explaining Nina speaking so well at tribal is what made him change his mind. Liz pretended she was all good, though didn’t bother telling him about what Nina said to her on her way out the door. George then told us he just couldn’t break Gerry’s trust once more, whereas he knew it would be easier to win Liz back. Though he assured her that if Matt wins the next immunity, he will join her in finally getting rid of Gerry.

George next caught up with the boys, reminding them how hard they have worked to avoid the jury, with George telling us how given the jury is made up of only returning players, should he make it to the end, he will be rewarded for dominating the game. Gerry and Matt meanwhile were talking about the path ahead, both genuinely wanting to go to the final three with George and pledging their undying loyalty, before confirming what we have long suspected and that they assume it is a final two, at which point they are looking to cut him just before final tribal council as their big move.

While poor Liz just knew that she was completely screwed should she not win immunity.

Right on cue the final four met Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge. Or so they thought! Instead, it was a challenge for an extra vote at tonight’s tribal council, meaning there is definitely going to be a twist, because they won’t leave George without the chance of immunity at the final four. But anyway, back to the challenge as this one is a biggy! They would race to swim to shore and collect balls, land them in a shoot, crawl under a net and then solve a puzzle before climbing stairs and landing sandbags on five platforms. Matt took out an early lead with Liz nipping at his heels before George and Gerry somehow overtook her. That being said, the other three were kind of irrelevant as Matt continued to power ahead, solving his puzzle as Gerry arrived at the table, while George and Liz desperately tried to close the gap. Matt then got to work tossing his sacks, landing one after the other before anyone else even joined him, promptly taking out the extra vote.

After handing over said vote, Jonathan announced that tonight they will not be voting someone out of the tribe. (Side note: duh). Instead it is the return of the infamous juror removal twist and oh shit, I feel sick because Shonee has been mentioned multiple times already this episode and given Matt and Gerry now have three votes and they know she isn’t voting for them, she is toast. Oh and then JLP confirmed it is a final three, with final immunity coming up tomorrow before the final person will be voted out and replace the juror they eliminate tonight.

Back at camp the final four celebrated making it to the final immunity challenge before popping on some rice ahead of a vastly different kind of scramble. For some reason George started to talk to Matt about the fact that if you have a guaranteed vote, you’re that much closer to winning now that only 7 people will be voting for 3 people. George then went to Liz, both agreeing that getting rid of Simon is the best idea for them, given he is least likely to vote for them. The bad thing being that should be very clear to both Gerry and Matt, so therefore they should keep him. 

George and Liz joined the other two to try and sell it as revenge for Simon calling everyone pawns. Sadly for them, Matt gave them a non-committal response while Gerry suggested Nina would vote for Liz for being a female, rather than looking at the game. Liz rightly was offended by that with him explaining he just meant that they were closer and as such, she is way more likely to be swayed by her. Matt then shared with us that his extra vote puts even more pressure on him, given it could be the decision between winning and losing. Matt pulled George aside and told him he is open to both Nina and Simon, however feels like if Liz is sitting at final tribal council – because his and Gerry’s plan to go to three with the King has totally changed now – Shonee is a guaranteed vote for her and as such, she makes the most sense. George tried to point out Simon doesn’t deserve a vote, though stupidly didn’t try to explain that if he and Liz both make it to the end, they split Shonee and as such, make it a tiny bit easier for him to squeak out a win. I mean sure, it isn’t a great pitch, but it is literally the only one we’ve got to keep Shonee vibing on the jury.

Matt then pulled Gerry aside to float his horrible, no good plan. He told Gerry it is very clear they are being played by George with the Simon vote, given he is a guaranteed vote for one of them. Matt continued, explaining that since it is now a final three, they need to adjust their plans and get rid of George at the next vote. And therefore if they go to the final three with Liz, they need to get rid of the only guaranteed vote for her, in Shonee. George filled Liz in on the drama, with Liz telling him to get down to the shore and break it up as they can’t lose Shonee. With Matt expertly playing derpy and telling him they have realised getting rid of Simon makes the most sense as he arrived. Gerry and Matt then spoke about trying to play their cards close to their chest at tribal council so as not to spook anyone, while trying to weigh up who is the better option of going to the final three given everyone loves Liz while George has played the best game. Before Gerry wisely pointed out that George also has a lot of hate against him from the jury and as such, maybe he isn’t a guaranteed winner.

While Gerry just felt like tonight was a chance for him to draw a line in the sand by either going with Matt to eliminate Shonee, or sticking with George to take out Simon.

At tribal council Jonathan quickly caught the jury up on what would be happening tonight, explaining that one of them will be leaving tonight, which obviously pissed all of them off. Particularly Shonee, who appeared to know the writing was on the wall. George spoke about this being the most important tribal council he has ever attended since the winner will only need to secure three or four votes to win. Matt opened up about being the one with the extra vote tonight, and how while he has power, he still needs one other person to agree with who should go out. Gerry admitted two names were on the table pack at camp and that both are warranted to go out. George meanwhile spoke about how fierce debate was back at camp and as such, suggested things may still be up in the air, as Liz interjected and pointed out that she had actually thought they were on the same page.

George whispered to Gerry to see who he was thinking about voting out, with George reiterating he will be taking out Simon as Gerry gave him nothing. Matt spoke about how they need to make a choice between getting rid of a guaranteed vote for someone else or just someone they think will be bitter. As Gerry and George continued to whisper, Gerry told him he had a bad feeling about all the girls on the jury being locked in behind Liz before George pointed out that since she won’t be at the final tribal council, it shouldn’t matter. But you could kind of tell he realised he is definitely going out in fourth and maybe should have kept Nina. Matt and Liz then got in on the whispering, with Liz asking if we’re all losing Shonee before Matt announced he is confused, but ready to vote nonetheless. With that the tribe voted and Gerry finally swayed from George, though tragically it broke the hearts of the nation in the process, as he, Matt and even George removed Shonee from the jury. Which was 100% the correct move for two of them, but it doesn’t make me hate it any less.

As she just cruised on out of there and even further into our hearts.

The next day the final four were jubilant to officially be the last ones standing, with Gerry sharing how at the start he was ready to ride it out with the Heroes until they sent him to the Villains without any concern, leading to the second best revenge arc behind Queen Shon’s in All Stars. But just ahead of Stevie’s in this season, given it went nowhere. George meanwhile was just shocked to still be in the game given he came in with such an epic target. And now he just needs to survive one more tribal council to take out his deserved victory. His words. Matt on the other hand was shocked to have made it there, though knew that without immunity everything could come crumbling down. In the form of Liz, who knows she is out next without immunity, though you know she is ready to fight and given she is an Olympian, you know she has the resolve.

After a brief glimpse of Kristie, Lee, Jericho and Peter in their respective final challenges, the newest final four arrived at a cliff face to discover this year’s final immunity challenge. Which will feature them all standing on a narrow perch holding a handle above their head, while JLP will turn a crank pushing blunt spearheads into their backs to make things as uncomfortable as possible. But before that, he delivered a little bit of love to help motivate them. First up was iconic cooking queen Cara for George, followed by Liz’s boyfriend Daniel, Gerry’s fiance Pam and Matt’s pregnant wife Kirsty and oh lord, I’m crying, they’re crying, everyone’s crying.

The visitors were promptly kicked off to a bench to watch their loved ones be tortured as they speculated how long they would be up in the devices. After JLP gave the crank a spin, the boys all complained as Liz suggested it was nothing and begged JLP to give it another crank. Which you know he did! Instantly the boys started to feel the pain while the two-time Olympian laughed with glee. Mother nature then joined in the fun, unleashing a deluge of rain as they fought for an hour before JLP whipped out his crank to further dig the spikes into their backs. Which was all it took to take out Gerry, as he stepped off the perch while his competitors sweetly praised him for doing so well. After two hours and an additional crank, George suggested nobody wanted the win more than him with Liz calmly telling him he is wrong and to just wait and see. We got to three hours before Jonathan gave the spears another crank which saw George start to struggle, badly, as he begged Matt to hold on, before ultimately dropping out. Leaving Liz to battle Matt for final immunity. After four hours Liz started to get the shakes as Daniel willed her on before she requested JLP dish out one final crank.

As the loved ones watched on with baited breath, George swapped seats and started chatting to Gerry, telling him that all they need to do is stick together at the next vote and there is a way forward for them. Liz continued to breathe through the pain before Matt’s hand slipped off, handing Liz final immunity. And ideally, crowning her our winner.

Back at camp George was very nervous about the newbies banding together to take him out, though was confident in his ability to plot and scheme. Even in such a shitty predicament. Knowing she would have been out of the game if she didn’t take out immunity, Liz was well and truly feeling her oats and ready to finally get her revenge on George and send him out of the game. Gerry meanwhile congratulated everyone on fighting so hard in the challenge, talking about how humbled he was by their performance. He then took it one step further, telling everyone that he didn’t deserve to go to tribal council and begged them all to vote him out. Which George obviously jumped at, promising to do his wishes before getting to work wooing Matt and Liz.

George first pulled Matt aside to tell him how important it would be for them to just vote out Gerry and guarantee their place in the final three. And while he agreed to George’s face, he knew he couldn’t do it to Gerry and instead told him he would actually be voting for George and if he wanted to avoid making fire, he should vote out George too. Speaking of George, he pulled Liz aside to try his best, with Liz too pretending to be all in on the Gerry vote, though obviously, that would not be happening. Because revenge. Though George was confident Liz would have his back and as such, was ready to march to the end and take out victory.

At tribal council the jury were absolutely delighted to see that Liz had immunity – I wish Shon was here to see this – before she opened up about her own pride to have come out on top after such an epic, intense challenge. Particularly with her boyfriend there. George immediately cut her off to talk about how driven Liz is and how proud of her he is, while Liz spoke about the fact she was so driven because she knew she had literally no other option. Matt meanwhile was gutted to be the one coming in second, talking about how now they need to be smart about who they send out of the game. Gerry on the other hand spoke about how hard it would be to vote for either Matt or George. With that the tribe voted and despite Gerry’s plea the newbies banded together to take out George, as Liz wisely whispered in his ear that she finally got him.

As George arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and praised him on such a dominating performance. While he was disappointed to be eliminated so close to the end, he admitted he was expecting his massive target to take him out early so was thrilled he was once again able to find his feet and dominate. I then did a quick detour and yelled at him for turning on Shonee too soon and robbing us gays of our mother. I mean, I know she was planning to turn on him at the next vote, but given siding with the newbies landed him on jury, I would have preferred to see a wee more exciting end game by having her stick around a little longer.

While I would argue that come the merge, George got lucky that people knew he would be an easy vote at the endgame, there is no denying that he once again proved himself to be a master strategist. And that alone deems him worthy of going out as the fourth place robbed goddess of the season and the piping hot Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov prize that goes along with it.

Boeuf bourguignon is one of those dishes that has the power to convert even the most vehement beef naysayers of its delight. The meat melts in your mouth as the sweet, rich sauce washes over your tongue and fills you with glee.

Enjoy!

Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
200g bacon, diced
1.5kg beef brisket, trimmed and cut into a large dice
1 carrot, thickly sliced
1 onion, diced
10 cloves garlic, minced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp flour
12 French shallots, peeled
3 cups red wine
2 cups beef stock
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tsp fresh thyme, finely chopped
2 tbsp fresh parsley, finely chopped
2 bay leaves
2 tbsp butter
500g small mushrooms, quartered

Method
Pop the oil in a large dutch oven and sauté the bacon over medium heat for a few minutes, or until crispy and browned. Transfer with a slotted spoon to a bowl and set aside. In batches, brown the beef on all sides in the glorious bacon fat before using the spoon to transfer to the bacon dish. Finally, add the carrots and onions to the pan and cook for a few minutes before adding 6 of the garlic cloves and cooking for a minute, or until fragrant. Drain off the fat, leaving a tablespoon or two, before returning the beef and bacon to the pot. Stir in the flour with a good whack of salt and pepper, and cook for about five minutes, or until browned. Add the shallots, wine and stock, the latter to just cover the meat, before stirring in the paste and herbs. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and cover before simmering for a few hours.

While the beef is rollicking, heat the butter in a large saucepan until foaming before adding the remaining garlic and cooking for a minute or so, or until fragrant. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally to coat, for about five minutes, or until browned and plump. Season with salt and pepper, before transferring to a plate.

Remove the bay leaves from the casserole, before stirring in the mushrooms and skimming off any of the excess fat that rises to the surface as it cooks until it reduces to a glossy liquid, enough to coat a spoon. Adjust seasoning before serving with a gloriously buttery mash and devouring, like a king.


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Pizza Puttaneskahena au Poulet

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, Main, Pizza, TV, TV Recap

The lights came up on the City of Light – well, I assume, I was just whisked from CDG to set, so I’m not 100% sure – as Nicky Doll narrated the triumphant opening of Drag Race France. And well, Nicky is iconic, she is the moment and gurl, she is truly the Ru of Drag Race France. I mean, she even has her own headshots all over the Werk Room! Speaking of the Werk Room, Kam Hugh was the first one to make her debut giving Aquaria and Veronica Green’s love child, but with Farrah’s general vibe. She was joined by La Big Bertha who could have me any way she wants out of drag, serving sexy bearded queen, dripping in raclette and ugh, crown her now. Because I am crowning. Whatever that may mean. They were quickly joined by Elips giving full old school glamour with the fun of Grey Gardens, so obviously I stan.

Though sidebar, I don’t actually think the Edie’s were living their best lives, were they?

Lolita Banana made a loud and proud entry and well, I love her already. And her skills at deepthroating a banana and showing all her man chest in confessionals. So yeah, my basement is flooded. Despite Bertha feeling she was giving off dachshund vibes. Soa de Muse arrived and was giving me Tayce vibes, in all the right ways. And well, she can sit on my face. Alongside Bertha. Le Grande Dame was up next serving beaded sex and well, I live. As much as she was living for herself during her entry. They were joined by Lova Ladiva who arrived giving Stacy Layne Matthews and Porkchop’s love child, so obviously she is destined to vamp her way into icon status in a matter of minutes.

THEN LA KAHENA ARRIVED AND LITERALLY LIT HER HAND ON FIRE and well, this is the energy I need in my life. She also looked like a beautiful gladiator, so yeah, I love. La Briochée arrived giving camp, cakey delight and well, I live for everything she is bringing, like a love child of BenDeLaCreme and Blair St Clair. Rounding out the cast is the iconic Paloma giving red hot, demon sexpot and well, I am ready for the dolls to turn it out because this cast looks strong.

A cock crowed – yes – announcing the arrival of Nicky Doll to officially welcome them to the competition and announce they’re competing for 40,000 Euros, a holiday courtesy of Tinder and make-up from Mac. Which is pretty iconic, TBH. As is the hunky Pit Crew who joined her, decked in navy and white striped speedos and berets, so yeah, my basement is flooded ten times over. 

Oh and the zaddies would also be joining the dolls for their first mini challenge, a photoshoot celebrating all things France. Soa was up first and gave full glamour and face while cycling through all the emotions as Nicky kicked out the pit crew and replaced them with cancan girls. Briochée was cute and camp, Kahena was wild, Paloma stayed focused on a killer shot, Grande Dame was fun, Lolita was stupid in all the right ways and Elips was adorable. Bertha lived her best life with both the boys and the girls, while Kam gave full Farrah while Lova was just a delight. Ultimately though there could only be one winner, with Lolita splitting her way to the front of the pack and gurl, I live for her confidence. 

Barely having time to recover, Nicky wheeled out the Pit Crew to give her her prize before announcing that their first Maxi Challenge would be a cheeky little Talent Show followed by a Jean Paul Gaultier runway, in front of Jean Paul himself. And well, fuck, that’s a gag. Everyone split up to untuck and claim a space in the Werk Room with Bertha opening up about being insecure about her body in the past and how drag gave her the confidence to take on the world. And again, she can sit on my face. Briochée and Lova bonded with their fellow big queen, given they felt they had similar journeys growing up. La Kahena followed suit and opened up about drag saving her life, giving her and outlet and freeing her from the oppression she has felt from her culture.

We quickly ventured to the mainstage where Nicky was joined by Daphné Bürki, Kiddy Smile, Iris Mittenaere and Jean Paul Gaultier – I’m still shocked – as Lolita opened up the Talent Show with a feisty salsa, complete with wig reveals splits and a sexy zaddy dance partner who easily gives her an extra point. Kam Hugh did a ridiculous banana peel strip before singing a sexy song about how it should be done and well, it was like a less fun version of Blu’s talent show. But I love it all the same. Briochée straight up belted out a song like the second coming of Edith Piaf and it was iconic. Paloma did a little skit about being a hippy and I love it despite it making no sense, because it was ridiculous. La Grande Dame gave sexy golden robot as she lip synced – perfectly – to an original song. And then played the saxophone. No joke. With a champagne flute attached to her head, no less.

Elips slayed a moody lip sync number as she stripped from camo to a flaming bodysuit before Soa stole the damn show with a moody song and well, she is an absolute icon. She hit every note, was camp and delightful and oh so moody and well, I live. I mean, it was like John Leguiziamo in Moulin Rouge! Lova gave an inspirational speech and frustrated her sisters while La Kahena gave a camp, absurd skit and delighted the hell out of everyone followed by lighting her hand on fire again before Bertha shut it down giving a camp little strip, serving comedy and acting, and well, I love it and the pasties flipping the bird and the bare arse.

On the Liberté, Égalité, Jean Paul Gaultier runway La Briochée gave Dita Von Teese butterfly corset in all the right ways and looked like an absolute star. Lolita went with the iconic conical bra, complete with taps dripping in diamond underneath. Lova was perfection in honour of the perfume bottles, Soa gave a conical corset covered in braids and yeah, she looked absolutely perfect. Bertha gave furry conical titties, La Kahena was stunning in a nude gown with red hands around the bodice, Paloma gave biblical realness as a living Madonna before Kam Hugh served icy mint architecture and was absolutely stunning. Elips gave cabaret conical realness made of ties, while La Grande Dame was perfect in a white harnessed look, complete with a keyhole over the butt.

La Briochée, Lolita, La Grande Dame and Paloma were sent to safety before Lova was read for not giving talent, despite being so vulnerable with everyone. Though the judges agreed that they all lived for her runway. Soa received universal praise for everything she served this week, giving camp, stunning looks and absolutely destroyed the talent show. Bertha too was universally beloved, letting them know exactly who she is and for being so damn polished. La Kahena was encouraged to let go and stop being hard on herself because they could tell she was nervous. All the time. Kam’s looks were adored, though her talent show was read for being basic. While they all lived for Elips’ magnetism.

Backstage the safe girls toasted to making it another week, before the tops and bottoms joined them to kiki. Elips opened up about being overwhelmed by the judges liking her, while Lova admitted she kind of just wanted to hide after receiving her critiques. Kahena was just confused, while Kam was simply disappointed in herself. Though bless Briochée, she did give them a sweet little pep talk!

Ultimately Soa took out the first win of the franchise, while Bertha and Elips were sent to safety, with Kam narrowly joining them, leaving La Kahena and Lova to lip sync for their lives. To French Canadian icon Céline Dion’s Prière Païenne and well, it was a show. Though maybe that is because I live for Céline. Kahena was camp while Lova was giving all the emotion and hit every lyric. While Kahena had fire and fought valiantly, wearing a gown kinda felt like it held her back a little, as she couldn’t get into it as much as Lova and as such, she found herself immortalised as the iconic Porkchop of Drag Race France.

Which honestly is the best place to finish if you aren’t going to win any damn season. Which is exactly what I told her as she returned to the Werk Room. I pulled her in for a massive hug and reminded her how well she truly performed, despite her apparent nerves. Thankfully she wasn’t too hard on herself, taking the loss on her chin and proud to join the international collective of iconic first franchise boots as we smashed a piping hot Pizza Puttaneskahena au Poulet.

As hot as the fire that she lit on her hand, this chicken puttanesca pizza is breathtaking and iconic. Salty capers and olives pair perfectly with the sweetness of the chicken that by the time you add in the heat, you’re in heaven.

Enjoy! 

Pizza Puttaneskahena au Poulet
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
1 base as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
⅓ cup passata
oregano and basil, roughly chopped, to taste
1 tbsp capers
2 tsp chilli flakes
¼ cup black olives, sliced
4-5 button mushrooms, sliced
¾ cup rotisserie chicken, shredded
mozzarella, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions preheat the oven to 180°C.

Smear passata over the prepared base and sprinkle with the herbs, capers, chilli, olives and mushrooms, before blanketing – I mean, you don’t have to but who wouldn’t – in mozzarella.

Transfer to the oven and bake for twenty minutes, or until bubbly and golden. Serve immediately and devour, careful not to burn your mouth on the piping hot cheese.


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Tortelektra Shock

Main, Pasta, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the final six were tasked with making over six sexy gay rugby players, who upon completion, were well and truly feeling their oats. The delightful wacky Kita finally scored her first victory of the season after slaying the makeover and nailing the family resemblance. On the other end of the spectrum, Scarlet well and truly had a fall from grace and bombed, focusing more on her own look rather than the makeover. Sadly for Elektra, she wasn’t down for the count, however, as Maxi landed in the bottom with her and was tragically felled. Likely only because of her track record.

Backstage the queens proudly toasted their iconic sister, delighted by the fact her signature is made up of giant tits. Thankfully Elektra got to gloriously rip on Scarlet for doing the splits in her lip sync and let’s just say, Scarlet was not happy about having to pretend she wasn’t bothered by the comment. Before she could fully unleash her rage, everyone rallied around to congratulate Kita on her victory, with Karen rightly pointing out that she is really the one to beat at the moment. Talk turned to the need to win a challenge to win the show, with Art looking very attacked by the fact she is the only one left without a victory. But where there is a Velour, there is a way and Art isn’t bothered. Which is why she is an icon.

The next day Scarlet was a little bit more relaxed about being in the bottom last week, though was still annoyed enough to be shady about Art’s second chance. Which we all got over weeks ago, right? Like she wants everyone to get over some of her past performances. Kita shared that she journaled who she thought she’d make it to the end with at the start of the competition, admitting it was the rest of the queens. Except Elektra. Which once again fired Elektra up to remind everyone that she is just as talented as them. Her basic outfits be damned.

The potential drama was interrupted by Ru who joined them to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, the dolls would be putting on a little talent show for the judges. Which should be the perfect way to showcase all the queens before the finale. Right? As the victor of the last challenge, Kita was able to choose the order in which they will perform and damn, please, be shady as hell. PLEASE.

Scarlet nervously tried to influence where she was placed, before Art suggested Kita sit on it before locking in her decision. With that, they split up to rehearse with Kita prepping a magic act as Art appeared to be doing a work out routine in the background. In the most demented way possible. Elektra was obviously going to dance – despite Karen reminding her she needs to remember to look good while doing it – while Scarlet was preparing a pole dance. Oh and then Elektra quietly pulled Kita aside, begging to be the last performer. Which is also where ameteur Demi Moore in Striptease wanted to go.

Kita pulled the girls aside to lock in the order, going with Karen, Art, Kita, Scarlet and then Elektra. And hot damn, did young Scarlet throw an epic tantrum about it! I mean, it almost rivalled Alaska’s in All Stars 2. Before she quickly pretended to be very unbothered by it as Kita really didn’t seem to care, so instead, she vowed to destroy everyone.

Ru arrived with the iconic Raven to chat with the queens. Elektra was up first, sharing that she plans to do a slowed down dance as Raven began flirting with her and to follow from last week, they should start an Only Fans. Elektra pointed out that she has x factor and can always work on the rest – like her outfits and make-up and well, that is very true. Kita shared that she would be doing quick change magic, with Ru admitting that she hates magic passionately, leaving Raven to give her the pep talk instead. Kita spoke about feeling guilty for winning the week before, with Raven wisely reminding her to get out of her head and to stop second guessing herself. Lest she messes up.

Scarlet got the slutty boots out to talk about her pole dancing routine, explaining how dangerous her inverted split will be. Oh and did she mention, she’d never done it before. And ugh, we know where this is heading, don’t we? Boo. Art outlined that she would be doing a serious commentary on the media, using the second most talented hole on the body – her mouth. Art asked Raven for advice about surviving life post drag race, with she and Ru reminding her to never venture into the comment section. Which is wise. Even for a mild celebrity like me! Oh and Karen will be doing some clown work and making balloon animals. Which, lol. Oh and Ru then shadily pointed out that Karen has started to flatline in the competition which hopefully fired her up to step out of her comfort zone and slay the judges.

After they left, Karen started to panic about delivering a sexy balloon artist instead and spiralled. Driving everyone mental, particularly Elektra who wanted Karen to listen to Ru’s advice because that is exactly why she herself has started to succeed in the competition.

Elimination Day arrived with the queens well and truly stressed out about the make or break challenge. Karen meanwhile had decided to change her act, but didn’t want to talk to anyone and instead focused on getting ready. Which obviously meant that Art continued to talk to her, which I think was her trying to help get her out of her head rather than being shady. Elektra spoke about how confident she was before we took a very hard pivot with Art, who opened up about getting death threats after performing drag Christmas carols on Chapel Street. And how her own cousin made death threats against her because they were jealous that Art was living the life that they wanted before they died by suicide. She then told her sisters that she is always there for them all and fuck, I don’t care if she has no wins, give her the damn crown.

At the talent show Ru, Michelle and Rhys were delighted by Karen’s sexy showgirl turn as she violated all the balloons on their way to making poodles. Well and truly leaving the judges wanting more. Art was bizarre and demented while shoving entire foods into her large mouth without chewing. And I absolutely lived. Kita came out ready to win, serving energy and fire as she slowly did stripper-reveal magic. Which is honestly something you can’t describe. Scarlet meanwhile did her pole dance to the theme of House of Drag, absolutely slaying the house down and thankfully not cracking her skull and bleeding out mid-performance. And then Elektra served a moody, contemporary dance routine and was great. But the vibe didn’t feel like it would be Drag Race enough for the judges.

On the How’s Your Head … Piece runway Karen was stunning as a giant pink poodle, Art was a garden fairy with butterflies flying around her head. Thankfully fake and moving, unlike Asia’s. Kita was a glorious robotic, sexy club kid with a wig of lights. Scarlet was a stunning, shimmering showgirl and Elektra was a Fosse dream, complete with a swing.

The judges lived for Karen’s runway, but felt her talent was good but way too short. The judges lived for Art’s glorious runway and her talent, despite not knowing what she was doing. Kita was praised for her energy, though was read for the bland outfits in her talent. Though they loved her runway. Scarlet received universal praise for everything she did this week, while Elektra was read for not being drag enough in the talent show  – see?! – despite being more than ready to appear in Sia’s next video.

Wanting to make things shady, Ru asked the dolls who they each thought should go home tonight, with Karen saying Elektra should go because she has gone as far as she can go and her storyline is already so epic. Which Art, Kita and Scarlet all quickly agreed with, while Elektra suggested it should instead be Art. Given that Art hasn’t grown in the competition. And you know, since she has already been eliminated once.

As the girls Untucked, Elektra was annoyed that they all piled on her but knew that it was the easiest choice. Art meanwhile was unbothered that she was identified as the one to go by Elektra because she just doesn’t really give a shit. Thankfully The Veronica’s arrived to kiki with the girls before Elektra and Kita could delve into the drama. They shared with the girls that Scarlet will definitely win, and Elektra will be joined in the bottom by either Karen or Kita. Talk turned to who they all thought would win the contest, with Art suggesting Scarlet, Scarlet went with Karen, Karen with Kita and Kita with Elektra. Because if she doesn’t win, the judges clearly aren’t looking for talent. 

Obviously Scarlet won the challenge, while Elektra found herself in the bottom. Somehow Karen narrowly avoided the bottom with Art, leaving Kita to battle it out against her fellow kiwi. Which is totally rigor morris. But you know, whatever. As The Veronicas’ Untouched got started Elektra pretended to quit before the duo absolutely left everything on the floor and fought for their lives. Hard. Kita was demented and hilarious, Elektra felt every moment. Given their track records though, it was Kita who was ultimately saved as she sobbed while holding her sister in her arms.

Backstage Elektra was the same charming, thirsty star I first fell in love with on House of Drag before pursuing as a lover. While I was specifically looking to marry anyone from New Zealand so I could move there and have Jacinda as my PM, I genuinely well in love with zaddy Elektra. The passion was instant, but I was tragically deported for not being friendly enough to live in NZ and our relationship fizzled out. So it was so nice to once again hold her in my arms and share a loving Tortelektra Shock together.

Cheesy, pillowy parcels of pasta slathered in a spicy sauce of sundried tomato and mushrooms, this is such a simple – dare I say basic – dish, but it tastes so damn good. Just like Elektra … ‘s talent.

Enjoy!

Tortelektra Shock
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 pack gow gee wrappers or portion of pasta dough
300g fresh ricotta
1 egg, whisked
⅓ cup parmesan cheese, freshly grated, plus extra to serve
4 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil 
1 cup mushrooms, sliced
⅓ cup sundried tomato pesto
2 tsp chilli flakes
1 cup cream
small handful basil leaves, sliced

Method
If you’re not being lazy like me, start by prepping your pasta dough.

If going with gow gee, ignore them for the moment and instead focus on the filling. Combine the ricotta, egg, parmesan and two garlic cloves in a bowl with a good whack of salt and a better whack of pepper. Stir until well combined.

To make the pasta, place a teaspoon of the filling in the centre of a wrapper – or a 10cm square of pasta dough – and twist to form a tortellini. Repeat the process until it is all done.

While you get a large pot of water on to boil, heat a lug of olive oil in a medium frying pan and cook the mushrooms for five minutes or until browned and soft. Add the remaining garlic and cook for a further couple of minutes before stirring through the sundried tomato, chilli and cream. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and keep warm while you cook the pasta.

Once the pasta is floating in the top of the boiling water – because you put it in the water, which I’m only just reminding you to do now – scoop it out or drain and stir through the sauce with the basil.

Serve immediately with a good layer of parmesan and devour.


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Harry Phillsy Cheesteak Pizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Main, Pizza, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the final twelve met Jonathan on the top of a hill where they learnt that they had (finally) made the merge. Despite having the numbers, David decided it would be a good idea to mind-fuck the outnumbered Vakama 2.0 tribe members. After being eliminated early in the reward challenge, he told Brooke and AK how he was at the bottom of new Mokuta and that he should be able to pull Zach over with him to give themselves the new majority. In actuality though, he was all in with Moana and the duo decided now would be the perfect time to get rid of Locky. Since Queen Shonee won the first immunity challenge like the damn boss that she is. At tribal council Locky desperately urged everyone to make a move and kick things off with a blindside, which sadly came to fruition. Just against him as he was booted from the tribe to become the King of the Jury.

The next day Jacqui was whipping up some breakfast and offering to deliver it to David in bed, who we learnt is well and truly falling apart from a chesty cold and a spider bite on his butt check. Which sadly wasn’t shown to us for proof.

Meanwhile by the fire Moana was congratulating Tarzan and Jacqui on the fact that they essentially secured themselves a place in the top seven. She then approached David and Sharn to congratulate each other on taking control and keeping their secret alliance alive. On the flipside, Brooke and Shonee were feeling disappointed to find themselves on the outs, though being the icon she is, Shonee encouraged them to be resilient and positive. Not feeling positive though is their ally Harry, who was back at camp with the Mokuta seven, seething about David and Zach’s treachery. This awoke the ol’ dirty in Harry, who vowed to take his revenge.

Speaking of revenge, David told us that his plan for All Stars has always been about playing a bold game, and taking revenge on anyone that wronged him in his original season. And now Harry is the last name on his Arya Stark list. Remember when Shonee had a revenge list? A list that she efficiently completed in three episodes. Like a damn icon. But enough about the superiority of Shonee, Moana was gossiping with Sharn, Lee, David and Jacqui by the well, telling them that Harry was arrogant about having taken David out on their previous season. While Harry watched on from behind some trees. Continuing to display her epic social game, Moana yelled out to him and told him to show himself and that since they are just doing washing, he is welcome to join them.

Oh and David did some bad math, sharing that getting rid of Harry was critical to his final tribal council, given Harry has currently played 82 consecutive days – which is untrue, given he was voted out one day before the end of a season – and if he makes it to the end, he can say that he played for 84 consecutive days. Which again, is wrong since he was also voted out. Plus, Lee and Sharn played 55 and 50 days in their OG seasons and genuinely can say that the days moving forward are consecutive, given they were never voted out. But whatever.

Fully aware of how well David has been playing, Harry pulled Shonee, Brooke and AK aside to try and find a way to weaken him. Given he has successfully surrounded himself with buffers, the group decided to get rid of one of the weaker players and as such, decided targeting Jacqui would be their best shot. With that, Harry and AK got to work trying to pull Zach and Lee to their side. Harry handed over a banana to Zach before launching into the pitch and while Zach agreed that he was open to the idea, he also wanted to play smarter this time around. With a semi-committal, Harry approached Lee and well, I just feel like Lee is interested. But maybe I am wrong?

My love Jonathan made an early return for the immunity challenge, which Harry identified as the final immunity challenge from last season as he walked in. But this time, with three sets of stumps to balance on – each smaller than the one before – while holding two sandbags up via ropes. After a short moment of struggle AK became the first person to drop from the challenge before Moana opted to step out, followed closely by Queen Shonee. After 15 minutes Zach fell off his pegs, followed closely by Sharn and Tarzan. The remaining castaways then transitioned to a skinnier peg, which caused Jacqui to drop after 45 minutes in the challenge. The final four each made it to the smallest pegs, with them quickly forcing David to drop out. He then used his time on the bench to suggest to Sharn that should Harry win immunity, they need to get rid of Brooke instead. After more than 90 minutes however, the pain became too much for him and he dropped out of the challenge. He and Shonee started throwing out options moving forward, agreeing that taking out AK and Brooke may be their only hope. However the latter wasn’t an option, given Lee dropped from the challenge and handed her immunity.

After popping immunity around her shoulders, Jonathan announced that they would not be going back to camp and would instead need to scramble on the way to tribal council. With that, the two factions split up by torchlight and got to work identifying their targets. Mokuta quickly locked in their vote for Harry, with a couple of dummy votes on AK just in case. Meanwhile the underdogs of former Vakama were still hopeful that they would be able to convince Lee and Zach to flip to them to get rid of Jacqui. Brooke and Shonee begged for them to be honest with them, asking if there is any chance of them making a move. And given Lee played a minimal game in his first go around, the former cricketer was more than keen to prove himself. And you know, build a resume. Lee and Zach mentioned being nervous about how Dave would react, which gave Harry the chance to be shady about their complete lack of agency in the game.

At tribal council Brooke was repulsed by Locky’s facial hair before AK spoke about how nerve racking it is to have had no time to strategise. Jacqui spoke about the importance of staying calm and sticking with what you know, which is exactly what you do when you’re in the majority. Moana reiterated that she trusts who she trusts and is looking forward to riding with them until the end. Lee was coy about pre-planning for situations like tonight, which Dave agreed with, given he and his alliance all know what they want to happen. Oh and the scrambling was super boring to him. Tarzan quoted Keith Nale and said that he will be sticking to the plan, while Zach agreed that he knows what he is meant to do in the plan. This gave Harry hope, so he pleaded with the people in the middle to make the right decision for their – and his – games and to start building their resume. Lee agreed that he needs to play differently if he wants to win this time, leading to Zach joining the fray and reminding him that you need to make a move at the right time. Which Brooke reiterated is right now.

Sharn tried to slyly counter the pitch, encouraging the people that Vakama are appealing to have a decision to make tonight. Which they can’t come back from. This led to Harry reminding everyone that they need to make a move before there aren’t enough people to help them make said moves. And it is never too early to build a resume, right? With that the tribe voted and despite working hard to save himself, Dirty Harry was vanquished to join Locky on the jury.

While my arms may not have been as cute and comforting as his sweet son Oscar – remember Oscie? – he was thrilled to once again see me in the Jury Villa after he suffered the indignity of being tortured in the challenge from hell.

“I know you’re not my biggest fan Ben, but I’m so glad to see you here – I could really use a big ol’ bowl of that mac and cheese.”

My heart sank. Had I truly made him feel so awful for trying to cross Pia that he believed I didn’t love him? Or did Queen Shonee rightfully explain that my low self-esteem means that a bit of flattery will get you everywhere with me. With that, I put my pants back on – Locky and I were reenacting his famous challenge from season 2/4, and headed to the kitchen to make him something even more triumphant than mac, in the form of my Harry Phillsy Cheesesteak Pizza.

Oh and then I apologised for cursing him for his second game. Damn you pizza!

Delicately charred beef – is that possible? – sweet peppers and the earthiness of the provolone are three of my favourite things. Add to that some mushrooms and you’ve got a sandie-j come pizza that is so damn good, you don’t even care about the fact an ancient curse felled your game while I was recipe planning.

Enjoy!

Harry Phillsy Cheesteak Pizza
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
olive oil
500g beef loin, trimmed and cut into thin strips
salt and pepper, to taste
2 tsp butter
250g mushrooms, thinly sliced
1 onion, sliced
½ red capsicum, cored, seeded and sliced
½ green capsicum, cored, seeded and sliced
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup passata
handful of fresh Italian herbs, roughly chopped
1-2 cups provolone cheese, grated

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions.

While Zsa Zsa is proving herself, get to work prepping the toppings. Start by heating a lug of olive oil in a skillet over medium and cook the beef strips until medium. Remove from heat and leave to rest.

In another skillet, melt the butter over medium heat and cook the mushrooms until soft, shiny and they have reabsorbed all of the liquid. Remove the mushrooms to a plate. In the same pan, add another lug of olive oil and cook the onion for about five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Transfer it to a plate before adding the capsicum to the pan and cook for a couple of minutes, or until soft and sweet. Remove from the heat.

Preheat the oven to 180°C.

To assemble, smear the bases with passata and herbs. Top with the onion, followed by the capsicum, mushroom and steak. Sprinkle with a generous amount of provolone, transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Devour immediately, thankful this recipe wasn’t lined up for Shonee. Or did I deliberately enact the curse?


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Phoebeef Wellingtimmins

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2016), Australian Survivor: All Stars, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the swap left David and Phoebe all alone on Mokuta, forcing them into a tight alliance. Sadly for Phoebe, it was short lived as she decided to also align herself with her fellow season 1 contestant Nick. Feeling slightly, David immediately cut her off emotionally. To make matters worse, he then found a hidden immunity idol and vowed to use it to get some humiliating revenge on her. Thankfully for her though, she found a clue to a hidden immunity idol at the last reward. Despite coming very closing to a humiliating defeat at the immunity challenge, Nick destroyed the puzzle and single handedly sent Vakama back to tribal council once again. With no other option, Mat desperately tried to convince Locky that the tribe couldn’t afford to lose any more strength and set his sights on targeting Shonee. And again, uuugggh. Thankfully Shonee’s charm won out once again however, as the tribe banded together to send Mat from the game.

We first checked in with Mokuta where Lee was doing some nerdy-host cosplay, leading the tribe in an island version of Young Talent Time. First up David showed off his best island modelling, stomping through the sand in his leather jacket WITH HIS BUM HANGING OUT. Oh god, I am wet – have mercy! Jacqui did some body building, Sharn did a tongue twister – and got massively burned by Nick, who pointed out that if she spoke like that at final tribal, maybe she wouldn’t have lost – before Zach shocked everyone, stopping my heart for a brief second, with a sultry flamenco.

Meanwhile at Mokuta everyone was clothed, while AK was suffering in his jocks for having kept Mat as long as he did. Harry on the other hand was growing more and more nervous, unsure whether getting Mat was the right move, given he a Shonee are now on the bottom. Harry pulled AK aside and the duo ran through the numbers on both sides and tried to fashion a series of plans to get to the end. While Harry wanted to keep him on side, he was concerned that AK’s mind was wandering even further and needed to be wary of when he started crunching the numbers to get rid of him. But for the moment, he was confident that everyone was trusting him.

Back at Mokuta the tribe were keeping themselves busy doing house work and bonding. Sharn shared that she was thrilled that their winning streak had allowed everyone a little more time to bond, before listing out all the alliances on the tribe – OG Mokuta, OG Vakama, Zach, and lastly, Phoebe and David. Phoebe was well aware that she was on the bottom on the tribe, however, and that Moana will vote her out at the very first opportunity she gets. That being said, Phoebe did find a clue to an idol and as such, was confident that she could snatch that and that she and her only ally David can take back control. With that, Phoebe pulled David aside to let him know about the idol clue and pledge her undying allegiance to him. Sadly for her, while he made her everyone promise under the sun, he has no interest in ever working with her again.

Phoebe ventured off to collect the idol, going from termite mound to termite mound, but alas, she couldn’t. With that, David went to find her and share that her absence from camp was arousing suspicion, so he offered to check for idols for her, while directing her away from the one he assumed it would be hidden in.

My love Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge which was simply tug of war over a pool, with the person to pull the other in scoring a point for their tribe. With the first tribe to three scoring a delightfully packed lunch, complete with juice box. First round saw Locky face off against the washed-up gladiator slash reformed misogynist, with Locky easily washing Zach by pulling him straight into the drink. Moana tied things up by destroying Brooke before Lee gave the lead to Mokuta by pulling off AK. Sorry, AK off the platform. Flick tied things up against Phoebe leaving Shonee to battle Jacqui for the win. AND HOLY SHIT, Queen, icon legend Shonee, absolutely destroyed her and won the challenge for her tribe. Because with Mat gone, somebody needed to step up. ICON.

Who’s strong now Abbey, Lydia, John and Mat, huh?

Vakama returned to camp to find their packed lunch, complete with sambo, snack, juice box and a little treat from home. Shonee’s being a sweet pair of sunnies like the absolute icon that she is. We then learnt that Harry proposed between his seasons, with her sending photos while his son Oscar couldn’t be bothered sending him shit. Locky got a letter from his sister, Flick broke down over her message from her fiance, as did AK and then everyone followed suit. Except for Shonee, who’s future’s so bright, she’s gotta wear shades. Wait, no, Shonee started crying when she discovered the size of her club sandwich. This woman is an icon and needs a GoFundMe right about now.

Back at Mokuta, Moana was doing her best Evil Kermit cosplay which made Phoebe feel super nervous. That and the fact she is quiet and also managed to build a super strong alliance. Meanwhile Phoebe caught up with who she thought was her super strong ally and the duo agreed to hunt for the idol again, with Phoebe venturing into the bush while David quickly grabbed the idol behind their shelter without arousing suspicion. He quickly found Phoebe and continued to help her search for the idol in an ever growing panic, gleefully trolling her.

Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes were forced to pair up once again and hold themselves up, leaning over a mud pit, with the last pair left standing securing immunity for the tribe. Sharn and Jacqui quickly became the first duo to drop, followed by Brooke and Shonee – with the latter body slamming her on the way down – and Locky and AK back-to-back, leaving Harry and Flick to fight it out to protect their tribe. After a long struggle Phoebe and Nick dropped, leaving David and Tarzan to fight for Mokuta. And you just know David has no interest in winning immunity. With that  the two duos put in a valiant effort before Tarzan of all people fell in, handing new Vakama their first immunity win.

Back at camp Jacqui wasn’t overly disappointed to have lost the challenge, more concerned about figuring out how to spend Phoebe’s name. Moana and Tarzan too were worried about spelling, before Moana admitted that she is thrilled to target Phoebe again as she is too bigger threat. And more importantly, underestimates her. Moana then got to work rallying the troops, pulling Zach in to her larger alliance to replace Mat while Jacqui worked on Sharn and Tarzan worked on Nick. Zach then joined the fray, going to Lee to pull him in before Lee suggested that getting rid of Phoebe may not be the best idea given she has allies on the other tribe and as such, should they make the merge, she may be able to protect them.

Moana checked in with Zach and didn’t feel overly concerned to have lost Lee’s vote, while Lee caught up with his season mate to assure her that she does have people supporting her and to go out and rally them. With that, she charmed Sharn and Zach before reporting back to Nick, with him assuring her that they can be trusted. Oh and then she caught up with David, who told her that they need to stop being paranoid and just relax and trust in the people that they trust in. And then vowed to us that he will blindside her in a humiliating fashion.

Deep in the jungle David and Sharn caught up in the hopes of locking in an unlikely alliance before Moana joined them to round out the final three. They trio pledged allegiances, swore on their families and promised to share any intel they collected. After dispersing, Sharn shared that while she wants to align with them, she can’t get rid of Phoebe tonight as it will burn her bridges with Nick and Lee. As such, she pulled them aside and told them everything they wanted to hear before making her final decision at tribal council.

At tribal council Moana spoke loving the honesty of tribal council, while David was just looking forward to finding out where exactly the lines would be drawn. And becoming a bird of prey, or something? Phoebe admitted to being nervous, given she has already been voted out of this tribe once before, though was hopeful to scrape through again. Moana on the flipside was unsure why she was targeted at the last tribal council, leading to Phoebe brutally eviscerating her, sharing that she became a target because she socially isolated herself on the original Vakama and sat alone in the shelter. Oh and she was targeting her. Moana defended herself as being quiet before Phoebe spoke about being swap screwed, thanks in no small part thanks to Moana shit talking her to anyone and everyone. Nick admitted to just wanting tribal cohesion, before Moana interrupted proceedings to assure everyone that she doesn’t have an issue with Phoebe and everyone insinuating it is driving her mental.

Sharn calmed things down and shared that her vote was all about building relationships before David decided to put on a bit of a show, pulling out his idol – well, one of – and telling everyone that he is out of play tonight and that he would burn his tribal and play it tonight. While Phoebe called him out given he was safe, Nick reminded everyone that pulling it out doesn’t necessarily mean he will play. With that the tribe went off to vote, Nick cast his second vote and David held on to both of his hidden immunity idols. As the votes were tallied, they piled up at five apiece on both Mo and Phoebe, much to the confusion of the tribe, given there are only nine people in the tribe. This meant that everyone had to revote and with Nick’s second vote out of play, Sharn flipped her vote to avoid rocks and joined David, Jaqcui, Zach and Tarzan to boot Phoebe from the game pre-merge. Again.


I honestly think this is the worst reaction that I have ever in the history of my reality TV commiseration meals. As soon as I saw her walk into Loser Lodge, I dropped the glass I was holding and screamed for what felt like an eternity. I then threw my arms back, started spinning on the spot and asked the ether what they were waiting for.

I then realised that I had gone full Jennifer Love Hewitt, asked Pheebs to slap some sense into me and then collapsed into her arms and sobbed uncontrollably. I mean, Phoebe, icon of the game and killer player, once again found herself booted pre-merge again. AGAIN?! It literally took all the strength I had in me to make my way into the kitchen and plate up a deliciously crisp,medium-rare – and what I assumed would be the victory meal – Phoebeef Wellingtimmins without making the pastry soggy with my tears.

 

 

Delicate and flaky on the outside, rich, robust and full of flavour on the inside, there is nothing better than a beef wellington. The perfectly cooked piece of beef, generously slathered in mushroom and wrapped in prosciutto? It is simply put, perfection.

Enjoy!

 

 

Phoebeef Wellingtimmins
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 x 200g beef fillets
olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste
50g butter
250g mushrooms, finely, finely diced
1 tsp fresh thyme
100ml dry white wine
12 slices prosciutto
4 slices puff pastry, thawed
1 egg, whisked

Method
Heat oven to 200C.

Place the fillets on a lined baking sheet and rub with olive oil and season with a little bit of salt and a good whack of salt and pepper. Transfer to the oven and leave to cook for fifteen minutes. Remove from the oven to cool, then transfer to the fridge while you prep the rest.

Meanwhile heat a lug of oil and the butter in a large skillet and cook the mushrooms for about ten minutes, or until very soft. Add the thyme and cook for a further minute before adding the white wine, bringing to the boil and reducing to a simmer for a further ten minutes. Remove from the pan to cool completely.

Once both components are chill, lay the prosciutto out in overlapping groups of three on a chopping board. Spread with half the mushroom, top with the fillets and smear with the remaining mushroom. Roll each group into a tight bundle, leaving you with four, meaty mounds. Is this Drag Race?

Place the sheets of puff pastry on a work surface and top with the aforementioned meaty mounds. Brush the far end of each with the egg and roll and fold until you have a beautiful little pastry pocket, using as much or as little creative flair as you like. I was sad to see Phoebe go pre-merge – FUCKING AGAIN –  and as such, channelled my pain into some creativity.

Place on a lined baking sheet, brush with egg and transfer to the oven to bake for 20-30 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Allow to stand for five minutes before devouring, with some comforting Gabriel Mash.

 

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Mushroom & Turka Pattitis

Main, Poultry

Not only is Taika one of the most beautiful men I’ve been lucky to have a fling with, he is also insanely talented, intelligent, hilarious and caring. And now the man has a freaking Oscar? I can’t. Honestly every time I dwell on that thought for more than a second, I started to well up with pride and joy, in equal measure. Despite his victory costing Greta Gerwig – who I really need to see ASAP – once again.

As soon as he landed in Brisbane, I ran onto the tarmac, jimmied open the plane and pulled him in for the biggest, most celebratory hug you could imagine. While I was then detained by police for breaking hundreds of security protocols, Taika being a total babe, bailed me out and drove me back to my house while I made out with his Oscar like Bong had gotten a hold of us.

Once inside, I broke down in tears and told him how proud I was. And how grateful I was that The Suicide Squad production could be paused to celebrate with me.

That being said, I didn’t tell him that it was actually Margot that hooked us up with the down time. But anyway …

Once inside, we laughed, we cried and I desperately tried to get him to write a new gay, weak and chubby version of Thor to debut in the next movie. While he may have been non-committal, he was still so kind and asked me to send him videos of me fleshing out the character – sicko – before we sat down to demolish some Mushroom & Turka Pattitis.

 

 

Light and fresh, packing a very herby punch, these patties are the perfect accompaniment to a salad. Or thrown on a burg. Or topping a garlicky mash and drowned in gravy. Or paired with a muffin, egg and cheese. It can do anything. And by that, it is versatile … like Taika and I.

Enjoy!

 

 

Mushroom & Turka Pattitis
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
olive oil, to taste
250g mushrooms, finely diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
500g turkey mince
2 tbsp chives, sliced
1 egg
1 cups breadcrumbs
2 tsp dried oregano
2 tsp dried parsley
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried thyme
½ tsp ground chilli

Method
Preheat oven to 160C.

Heat a lug of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook the mushrooms for a couple of minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the garlic and cook for a further minute. Transfer to a large mixing bowl to cool slightly.

Once cooled, add the remaining ingredients to the bowl and scrunch together with your hands until well combined. Shape into 8 patties, place on a lined baking sheet and transfer to the oven to bake for twenty minutes, or until cooked through.

Serve immediately with a salad. Or all of the potential options I listed earlier. I’m too lazy to list them again.

 

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