Previously on Australian Survivor Feras was heartbroken to have lost his two closest allies back-to-back, despite the Rebels having the majority at the final five. Caroline and Mark, meanwhile, were feeling their oats to have survived against all odds and each other all the way to the final three. And were looking forward to snipping Feras on the way to the final tribal council. At a hard fought final immunity challenge, Mark shocked everyone by dropping first leaving Caroline and Feras to battle it out, with the latter finally scoring immunity. And promptly sending Mark to the jury.
The next day the final two were positively giddy as they awoke and started to get their head in the game for the battle ahead. Feras spoke about how much he has grown throughout the season, wanting to come in and play a savage game, though how he ended up playing much kinder. That being said, he was a little bit nervous about Mark turning the jury against him. Caroline congratulated them, proud that it has come down to one Rebel and one Titan. Feras spoke about wanting to do it for his religion and be the first middle eastern man to win Australian Survivor. Caroline spoke about feeling like the least Titan-ic member of the Titans, though was proud to have overcome them all and make it to the end thanks to her internal strength.
They got to work cooking up their pre-final tribal council breakfast, with Caroline feeling alive which made Feras very nervous. She likened the game to giving birth and please, give the lady some damn votes as she truly did play a strong game and this should be closer than the edit leads me to believe it will be.
We ventured straight to the final tribal council where JLP explained how the evening’s proceedings would play out. Caroline was first with opening statements, talking about how she came into the game with a massive target as the oldest woman in a tribe of very strong people. She put her survival down to her ability to build bonds, specifically forming the middle aged mafia to survive the early stages. She articulated why she took out Viola to make it to the merge, where she ultimately took flight. She voted correctly all but two times, dominated in the fire making challenge and hot damn, she deserves to be sitting in the final two.
Feras meanwhile spoke about how he came into the game wanting to play a strong game for the Muslim and Middle Eastern communities. And to have fun along the way. At the start, he clocked that the alphas were taking control of the Rebels, so pulled together the misfits to try and get the upper hand. And despite spending much of the game on bottom, he was able to pull off some wild, chaotic moves to make it to the jury. Feras spoke about his bond with Kirby and that they both were shielding each other, and how after Alex called her out, he realised he needed to announce himself by cutting her and proving he was her equal. Most importantly, he had so much fun getting to know everyone and seeing their pride, I think we know how this is going.
We pivoted to the jurors, where Mark offered the final two some advice: to be honest and admit their mistakes, rather than try to reach for things they didn’t actually do. He then asked Caroline when she was most in trouble and how she got out of it, where she talked about the Viola blindside and how she read the situation between her and Viola, and how she worked with Kitty to flip things. Aileen pointed out Feras’ biggest weakness was not listening, before asking him to talk about his biggest move. Feras outlined that he didn’t listen because playing idols is nerve wracking. On that note, his biggest move was to go on the idol hunt and while he found it within seconds, he left it for Alex to find, knowing it would shift the target on to him instead.
Ri asked Caroline why she didn’t always include her in the plans, even when they were working together. To her credit, Caroline told her she had to do it to assess whether she could trust her and that she was always loyal to those that she was closest to. Valeria asked Feras how many votes he is expecting to get tonight, with him admitting he just hopes for the majority. Caroline wisely pointed out that she can’t count on any votes, though she wanted the jury to listen and vote for who they think played best. Valeria hilariously spoke about how the final two aren’t really giving the jury what they need to inspire votes. This fired Caroline up, talking about while she may not have played the best social game, she has fought tooth and nail to get to the end.
Alex asked Caroline how she thinks she went after he was voted out, with her talking about being proud, given she always positioned herself well enough to make it another day. Aileen said it wasn’t enough, leading her to talking about misplaying the idol on Mark which ultimately sent Kitty home. Which Ray clocked as a bad move. Kirby asked Feras why he ultimately chose to send her home and whether he was scared to face off against her. He wisely spoke about the fact that his chances of winning the game are better with her sitting on the jury, so it wasn’t fear and was simply him playing smart. And to him, getting rid of his shield was actually the bravest thing he could do. He spoke about how he leveraged his idol in various ways throughout the game to last, making strategic moves to protect himself. He then listed all the people he had orchestrated the demise of. And by the time music started to swell under him talking about how proud of his game he is, and how much he loves them all, it was clear this game was done.
With that the jury voted, JLP wheeled out Iman and Murray to stand alongside their loved ones before the votes were read and Feras was unanimously declared the winner of the season. And while I would say it was well deserved, justice for Caroline, as she played a hell of a game. As they were resetting the cameras for the fake ending, I pulled Caroline aside and pulled her in for a massive hug. Raging at Kitty, specifically, for not even giving her closest ally a vote. Because like her namesake with the different spelling in 44, she played so much better than finishing as a 0 vote finalist. She thanked me for my kindness, before I cut her off and reminded her I am not kind nor was I her staunchest of supporters – she played a killer game and deserves the praise, a season rigged for her ala Boston Rob and a big fat bowl of Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis.
I know apples and sprouts don’t exactly sound like a delicious, tasty side, but damn, this is good. Earthy, sweet and a little bit salty, it all works together perfectly and would honestly elevate any and all meals. Specifically a roast pork though, TBH.
Enjoy!
Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis Serves: 4.
Ingredients 300g Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved 1 apple, cored and diced 2 tsp avocado oil salt and pepper, to taste 2 rashers streaky bacon, diced ½ onion, sliced ½ tsp maple syrup ¼ cup roasted walnuts, roughly chopped
Method Preheat the oven to 200C.
Toss the Brussels sprouts and apples with half of the oil and a pinch of salt, and pop in a single layer on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crispy.
While they are cooking, heat the remaining oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook bacon for a couple of minutes, or until golden. Add the onions and cook for another few minutes, or until they are starting to soften. Reduce the heat to low and continue cooking for another 15 minutes, or until they are gloriously sweet.
When the sprouts are almost done, add the bacon and onion, followed by the maple and walnuts and allow to toast for a minute. Remove from the oven, toss and then devour, like a Queen.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Mark and Caroline tried to repair their relationship, eyt again, after multiple attempts at booting each other. Though Caroline assured us it was only because she has other plans for him. After the new Titans lost a very physical immunity challenge, Feras and Kirby feigned burying the hatchet for 20 minutes before each faction attempted to use the Titans to take control. Tribal Council spooked both Garrick and Aileen, who begged Feras to play his idol for Garrick, in case the OG Titans played them and joined with Kirby. Which is exactly what they did, as Garrick was booted from the game. While Aileen assured Kirby she never voted for her, which is kind of a moot point, no?
Back at camp Feras congratulated everyone on a well executed blindside, which surprised Kirby, as she thought it was clear they were targeting Garrick. Feras tried to run the numbers back at camp with Aileen pointing out she voted Kelli as a Plan C, while everyone agreed they think Feras has an idol. Which he then straight up admitted to it, meaning Kelli, obviously, didn’t buy it, as Aileen told Kelli she was sure that she had one too. Feras then went to catch up with the OG Titans and while he assured them there were no hard feelings, he promised us that revenge will be his and he won’t stop until he has their heads on a spike. So insert this week’s iconic Shonee revenge arc, should he be interested in being more iconic, say, like Raymond.
Over at the Rebels, Alex was bathing in his speedos while Caroline, Kitty and Rianna watched on, deciding whether they could be bothered washing off. Rianna meanwhile was nervous about how things would play out on the tribe, given she and Alex are on the outs. And Alex, apparently, has no idea what he is doing. When Rianna has literally fumbled the ball on multiple occasions in just three weeks. Rianna stuck with the girls, despite the fact they gave her a fake name and planned to blindside her at the last tribal council. She had a private moment with Caroline, assuring her that if they stay close, she has numbers on the other side and can get her further. Which is a reason not to keep her, but whatever, Alex is the worse player. After Caroline asked what she would do about the situation with Mark, she suggested getting rid of him ASAP. Though Caroline wisely, seemed non-committal.
We checked in with the Titans where Kirby was feeling her oats and oh so smug, now that she was in control. Case in point being that Aileen asked to chat about tribal council and she told her no, instead going for a swim with Scott. She then went further, smirking as she watched Feras and laughed about him being alone. Aileen’s bad day got worse as she checked in with Kelli, who told her she was angry that she voted for her, again, as Aileen laughed to us about how she is the only person that appears bothered by it. As Aileen finally got time to chat with Kirby, Feras immediately popped up and joined them. Aileen told Kirby that not voting for her last night was a show of faith, though obviously Kirby wasn’t really buying it, as Feras suggested she would be better off just going to find another idol. As he once again reminded Kirby that he genuinely has an idol.
The tribes met up with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would have to climb over a cargo net to collect balls, transfer them along an obstacle course using poles and have one person scale a tower to shoot said balls into a hoop held up by the rest of the tribe. Feras and Raymond got the Titans out to an early lead as Caroline and Alex took a slower approach at the Rebels. Though they started to close the gap, thanks to Scott dropping a ball. Against all odds, Charles thankfully powered despite being paired with Kelli, allowing them to stay out in front. Aileen meanwhile was busy talking to Valeria on the bench, assuring her that while they didn’t vote together, she hopes they can work together in the future. As Valeria just offered that she doesn’t trust Feras. The Titans had all the balls at the end and started shooting before the Rebels even collected one. Thankfully for the Rebels, the Titans struggled to get a hang of the challenge, allowing the Rebels plenty of time to learn from their mistakes. And then demolish shooting their baskets one after the other, jagging an epic come from behind win. Almost out of nowhere.
Back at camp they tried to hold their heads high, despite Jaden demolishing them on his lonesome. Feras meanwhile was nervous, given the alliance appeared to be airtight. Charles and Valeria went for a wander with Kirby to float the idea of splitting the vote between Feras and Aileen, given Aileen annoyed Valeria during the challenge. As they locked in pretending Raymond was the other person, rather than Aileen, she popped up to ask to pitch her case. Charles asked her to give them a minute before talking things through, which obviously annoyed her. Eventually Valeria and Charles caught up with Aileen to see if Feras genuinely has an idol, with her assuring them that he does despite not having seen it. Charles then floated that once Feras is gone, they may be able to work with her, which is the information I would take back to Kirby.
Charles and Winna meanwhile were hanging out in the water tossing beans around, as Kelli joined and they discussed how to spell Aileen’s name. Winna joked to us that all he cares about is flushing out Feras’ idol, very grateful that his has remained secret from everyone on the new tribe. He caught up with Feras and Aileen by the shelter, with Feras pointing out that aligning with Kibry is the best option moving forward, given she has numbers on the other side, which she will gladly go back to come the merge. Winna then straight up told Feras that that is just a pitch, and he isn’t buying it. Leaving Feras to be sure that he can only really trust Raymond at this point. Right on cue, Raymond was catching up with Scott and Kelli, who were imploring him to flip and vote with the majority, as they love him so much, they want to go to merge with them. As they begged him to vote Aileen or Feras
Raymond and Feras caught up, with Ray encouraging him to make sure he plays the idol tonight. And go make sure that Aileen doesn’t have one. Feras admitting that he would love to vote for Winna more than anyone, given he is immovable and as such, he doesn’t even know if he can really bother playing his idol. Feras then caught up with Kirby for a hail Mary, pointing out that if he goes, followed by Aileen and Raymond, the numbers don’t add up at merge and as such, she needs to go back to getting rid of Titans. And given they are obviously feuding, it is the perfect time to work together. Particularly since he is safe no matter what. Which Kirby took back to her alliance as quickly as possible, assuring them she won’t flip.
At tribal council Feras spoke about the fact he lived for the blindside, despite being on the wrong side of it. Kirby said she was thrilled it went in her favour, and that she will be smiling again tonight, whether things play out for or against her. Aileen once again tried to pitch the OG Rebels come together, with Charles pointing out that she is too shifty and the reason she isn’t going to make it further, is because she and Feras are untrustworthy. Valeria then scalped Feras, calling him a terrible leader and that he was weak for not playing his idol for Garrick. Feras calmly let her talk it through, before going all in on her and ugh, it was spicy and I think they are going to bang. I mean, the thank you master when he was done? It was glorious. Charles then tried to ask Feras if he would play the idol for Aileen if she is in danger, with him agreeing he would. As Feras and Aileen locked in a plan to try and get rid of Charles. Kirby meanwhile spoke about not wanting to move backwards by going Rebel strong, given she has a nice clean slate with the Titans.
Once again Scott begged JLP to allow them to vote, which left him to announce that tonight, things will be a little bit different. You see, someone will be going home, however, not everyone will be voting, as they need to earn it. And that there is a little challenge set up next to tribal council, with the three winners becoming immune and being the only people to vote. So yeah, bye bye Charles, could actually happen.
We pivoted to the challenge where they would race to build a frame out of blocks before tossing sandbags through said frame and landing them on a barrel. The first three to finish without knocking it over keeping their votes and being immune. Kirby assured her allies that she has a plan, and they just need to win. Which, obviously, you are in the majority, Kirby? Meaning they are clearly not winning. Charles, Winna and Raymond were first to build their frames, with Ray promptly knocking it over on the first toss. Eventually they all caught up, with Aileen, out of nowhere, scoring her three points and keeping her vote. She cheered on Feras and Raymond, as Feras scored two alongside Kirby. Kirby then secured her vote as Charles, Winna and Feras raced to secure the third spot with Feras, finally, putting us out of our misery and securing immunity
On the way back to tribal council, everyone was feeling far less smug, as they worried about who Aileen and Feras would be pushing to boot. As Kirby whispered to Aileen that now is the time to clean the slate. You mean, when your back is against the wall, Kirby?! As they returned to tribal council, the tension really rocketed up, with Feras and Aileen looking forward to having a bit of fun. Kirby meanwhile floated that she will happily vote for whoever they wanted, given her vote really doesn’t matter. But if they work together, maybe it will build trust. Which obviously spooked the Titans. Feras reiterated he is planning to have fun, with Winna whispering to Valeria that they simply need to get the votes on him and he will play his idol. He then went in on Feras, trying to attract the votes, which everyone found super odd.
Feras asked for last ditch pleas, with Charles pointing out they are all logical and as such, a vote for any of them makes sense. Feras asked if anyone is actually planning to work with him, with Charles and Valeria agreeing they’d consider it, while Winna gave him a big fat no. Winna then asked Kirby who he should play his idol for, with her rightly pointing out Charles. As Ray was just hopeful the rift between Kirby and Feras would heal after tonight. Well, after Kelli told him to be positive, that is. With that the trio voted, Winna played his idol for himself, negating one vote for him, leaving Feras to hold onto his for another day as Charles and Raymond were tied. With that, the trio re-voted and Charles was shown the door, officially.
As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled Charles in for a hug and assured him that sometimes, particularly Down Under, you get swap screwed. And that is why you should never go too far with rubbing the minority’s noses in it, given you just never know when that will come back to bite you. Like it did just now. And while it was a bitter pill for him to swallow, a bowl of Charles French Noonion Pasta made him feel better.
This viral little TikTok number may not necessarily sound delicious, but hot damn, it is. Sweet, rich and vetvety smooth, it is the most warming dish for your coldest days. Or when you get burnt, for trying to be cold to the minority, maybe.
Enjoy!
Charles French Noonion Pasta Serves: 6.
Ingredients ¼ cup butter 2 large onions, thinly sliced kosher salt and pepper, to taste ¼ cup sherry ½ cup vermouth 10 sprigs thyme, leaves removed 500g rigatoni 6 cups beef stock 2 tsp worcestershire sauce ½ cup parmesan cheese, grated ½ cup cream
Method Pop the butter in a dutch oven over medium heat and once melted and foamy, add the onions and a pinch of salt, and cook, stirring occasionally, for 30 minutes or until caramelised.
Once sweet and sticky, add the sherry and vermouth, deglazing all the stuck brown bits from the bottom of the pan. Stir in the thyme leaves and season with salt and pepper, before adding the rigatoni, stock and worcestershire. Stir, bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook for 15 minutes, or until the pasta is tender. Covering if you lose too much liquid.
Remove from the heat and stir in the parmesan and cream until combined, returning to the heat for a minute or so to heat through. Serve immediately with a generous helping of extra parmesan and devour. Like a shady icon.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Mark was ready to do revenge against the Middle Aged Mafia for blindsiding Viola. Despite the fact they all felt it would force Mark into being closer with them. After the new Rebels lost yet another immunity, he convinced them that everything was all good and that he was all in on their plan to get rid of OG Rebels. He calmly suggested that they once again split the votes between Rianna and Sarah, given Alex has zero connections. He then went to said OGs and told them to join him in loading up the votes on Caroline to take control of the tribe officially, rather than just being on the bottom of the alliance. Tragically a series of blunders from Sarah and then Rianna screwed the plan, leading to a chaotic tribal where Mark wasted his idol, Ri flipped her vote to Mark and Sarah was shown the door.
The next day the mood was, once again, a little sombre as Mark tried to clear the air with Caroline about the vote. She agreed things were super messy, as he explained that the dynamics of the four are the reason why he had tried to lead the charge against them. He apologised for his actions, with her assuring him that she is happy to move past it and continue to work together. Though she warned him that the only way they can move forward is if he is able to prove trust. Which at this point is just a bit of a lol, you know?
Over at the Titans things were far more jovial as Ray was busy trying to take his undies off without removing his track pants. Accidentally flashing Valeria in the process. He then went for a swim with Feras, yelling to each other about strategising and playing idols as the tribe watched on giggling. Well, the tribe minus Kelli, who was being suspiciously quiet and calm. Which immediately made Feras worry that she found an idol. Feras and Raymond caught up with Kirby, who decided to play into things by admitting that Kelli did have an idol, hoping the spectre of it keeps them safe. Kirby looped in Kelli, who found it super funny that they thought she had an idol and she agreed it would be fun to use it to her advantage. Leveraging her psychology, of course. As such, Raymond, Feras and Garrick decided they needed to lock in the vote against Kirby with the help of the OG Titans.
The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the reward challenge where they would race into the water to collect coconuts with letters on them and spell words in a little spelling bee. Best out of 3 scoring an epic Mexican feast. Caroline and Alex faced off against Kelli and Garrick in round one to spell salsa, with the Titans taking out victory despite Kelli struggling to spell the word. Even though she hilariously assured the tribe that she can spell before the round. No joke. Mark and Rianna made things physical with Feras and Winna as they powered ahead to spell chilli, buying them enough time to tie things up for the Rebels. Winna fought hard against Kitty and Alex, as Valeria calmly worked on writing out tortilla, scoring victory for their tribe.
Back at camp the new Titans were positively delighted to discover their Mexican feast awaiting them. Everyone sat down and started smashing all the food, with Winna, Charles and Valeria in particular thrilled to finally have something to eat for the first time in three weeks. After pressing pause on the game for a little, both Feras and Kirby got to work trying to woo the OG Titans. Charles, Winna and Valeria caught up in the water debating the merits, with Charles wisely pointing out that aligning with Kirby, Scott and Kelli makes the most sense, as at least they have an even playing field, rather than going with a four. That night, Charles pulled Kirby and Scott aside to talk through their plans, with them agreeing Feras is so concerned about Kelli having an idol, he isn’t thinking about much else. Wanting to play both sides, Charles and Winna then joined up with Feras and Raymond to hear their plans, with Feras reminding them that whichever way they decide to go, they need to make sure they aren’t picked off afterwards.
Which feels a little ominous, no?
JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would each hold up heavy barrels with the first tribe to drop a single barrel losing and joining Jonathan at tribal council. Things started out pretty zen, with only some minor adjustments to everyone’s hands before Caroline tapped out and handed her barrel to Jaden. After ten minutes, Jaden passed his second barrel over to Alex for a little bit of a break. That took its toll on Alex, trading back after ten minutes before the Titans lost their first person in Valeria. Winna was like a statue as he held onto two barrels before Aileen started to get dangerously close to dropping, forcing her to pass it off to Kirby. She needed a break, so handed her second to Garrick who immediately passed it to Feras. Winna started to get tired, passing one off to Charles and while it looked bad, both tribes were still fighting after 50 minutes. Garrick then dropped out, requiring some shuffling on Titans to save Kirby from dropping, before the tribe admitted defeat and dropped in unison, sending themselves to tribal council.
Back at camp the tribe reconvened around the fire lamenting their loss before splitting up to come up with their plans. After splitting up, Valeria was confident she, Winna and Charles will be able to pick who goes home. Sadly Aileen realised that the Rebels need to stay together for at least one vote, rallying them together and asking Feras and Kirby to put down their guns to assure themselves that OG Rebels have the advantage when they merge. By getting rid of Charles, ideally. And after a little bit of back and forth, they agreed to stick together. Garrick reluctantly, who felt it was the right time to make a break as they already have the numbers. As he simmered in his jocks, he approached Winna to see what the OG Titans were thinking, with him obviously assuring him that they are locked on Kirby. This emboldened him to go back to Feras and Aileen to make one final, hard push for Kirby. With them eventually agreeing. Again, somewhat reluctantly.
Meanwhile Raymond and Kelli were busy talking through the drama, with him telling her there will no doubt be a lot of last minute whispers as rival plans pop up. He then asked her not to play her idol for Kirby, given he wants her to be safe. This made Kelli nervous, so she approached Kirby who then looped in Scott, and just like that, they got to work locking in a rival plan to not take out Feras, but his second in command Garrick. The OG Titans disappeared to talk through their options, with them all agreeing that Kirby is more trustworthy and that is nothing else, they have the power tonight. And once each faction is down to three, they can reassess. They caught up with Kirby who looped them in on the Garrick plan, as they whispered it throughout camp. All the chatter made Feras nervous, who pulled Winna aside to talk about the possibility of Valeria flipping on them. With Winna assuring him that Valeria won’t flip on them, begging the question, which them is he talking about? They then turned their nerves to Kelli and her (non) idol, and how to navigate it. With Kirby assuring us that she will be trying to make everyone paranoid about what exactly Kelli could do. Which will be super easier for Kirby, given the Kelli of it all.
At tribal council Aileen spoke about how the OG Rebels clearly have an advantage, though if the OG Titans stick together, they have so much power. Winna agreed that when there are cracks, they can kind of make the choice, while Charles straight up pointed out that tonight is just about picking a side between the divided Rebels. Kirby pointed out that a true alliance doesn’t need to overdo it and simply have a discussion, and stick to it. Feras spoke about finding the balance between being paranoid and trusting in people. Kirby then called him paranoid, though admitted it is right to be, given he and Aileen pushed to be Rebel strong and then immediately switched. Kirby pointed out they had been duplicitous, leading to Garrick and Feras arguing that she was actually the one that turned on them first and that is why they don’t trust her. Despite her now playing the victim.
Garrick spoke about how disappointed he was in Kirby betraying them and how upset he still is. This led to Kirby denying she did anything wrong, with chaos erupting as Kirby, Feras and Garrick got extremely heated. Kirby tried to take credit for the Peta vote – again, no jury yet, so not relevant – despite not voting for her, which was the sticking point for the boys. Feras put a pin in the fighting as he admitted the divide is so large that there is absolutely no point denying it. Garrick meanwhile was super nervous, feeling like the tribe turned against him, as Feras confirmed with Valeria that the OG Titans were voting with them. And Scott just begged JLP to let them vote so they can finally draw some lines in the damn sand and move on tomorrow.
With that the tribe voted as Aileen begged Feras to play his idol for Garrick, before he held firm and she was proven correct, as the OG Titans joined Kirby’s alliance to blindside Garrick from the game. And let’s just say, he was well and truly pissed. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him all would be ok. Because with such on point reads and a great display (despite going out early), if there is justice, he will make a triumphant return. And between that epic peptalk and piping hot Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas, he was feeling better in no time.
This meal looks like hard work, but is truly so simple. Prep everything, chuck it on a tray and you’re good to go. And better yet, it is jam packed with flavour and oh so good. Spicy, creamy and warming.
Enjoy!
Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 500g lamb mince 1 onion, grated 4 garlic cloves, minced 1 lemon, zested and juiced ½ cup parsley, roughly chopped 2 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp dried oregano ½ tsp cayenne pepper kosher salt and pepper, to taste 4 potatoes, cut into 1cm matchsticks 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, diced 1 capsicum, diced 1 large avocado, halved and seeded ¼ cup greek yoghurt ½ cup basil 1 jalapeño, trimmed and if you don’t want the heat, seeded 1 tsp smoked paprika ½ tsp garlic powder ½ tsp onion powder 4 Pita Andre Breads, to serve
Method Preheat the oven to 200C and line two baking sheets.
Combine the mince, onion, garlic, lemon zest, parsley, cumin, oregano and half the cayenne pepper in a large bowl, with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch with your hands to combine. Wet your hands and roll into golf ball sized meatballs, popping on the lined baking sheet. Cover and leave to rest.
Toss the sliced potatoes in olive oil and salt and spread over the second baking sheet. Pop in the oven and cook for 15 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 20 minutes. Add the haloumi and capsicum to the meatball tray and pop in the oven when you take the chips out to flip.
While they are cooking, pop the avocado, yoghurt, basil, jalapeno and lemon juice in a blender, and blitz until smooth. Season to taste.
Combine the paprika, garlic and onion powders and cayenne pepper in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Remove the meatballs, haloumi and chips from the oven, and toss the chips through the spices.
To serve, dollop some avocado onto plates. Followed by the meatballs, fries, halloumi and capsicum, with pitas. And devour however you see fit.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Feras found a buried treasure, which, after grabbing a key from their reward, was able to unlock and learn it was home to an idol. Tragically for him, he was caught by everyone and while he tried to keep it secret, it was clear no one believed him. At the immunity challenge he stirred the pot with the Titans, asking whether anyone had found their treasure yet. And while they questioned whether he was being truthful, Mark’s ears well and truly pricked up on the way to the Titans narrowly jagging another immunity. Back at camp Aileen emerged to orchestrate a split vote between Alex and Tobias, which would ultimately result in Sarah having to decide which of her allies go home. Knowing he would be a threat if he didn’t, Feras played his not-so-hidden idol before Kelli stirred things up by switching her vote to Tobias and sending him out of the game without needing to involve Sarah.
The next day the mood was rather sombre at the Rebels camp as Sarah was in tears over Tobias’ surprise exit. On her birthday, no less. Kelli decided to be up front with her, admitting she changed plans at tribal because she felt it was the right thing to do. Kelli then broke down in tears and recited poetry as Sarah tried not to smack her, and hot damn, Sarah and Alex are in with a chance. As that little display is honestly enough to flip anyone into getting rid of her. Kelli approached Alex and implied that she is the sole reason he is still here, overstepping and telling him it was to allow him the chance to grow. And that he owes her, essentially. Instead, he started to run through names of other people he could work with. Feras and Kirby meanwhile were hanging in the ocean, assuring each other that there won’t be any more secrets between them. And that trust is still there. After they split up, Alex and Sarah approached Kirby to float the idea of making a move against Feras, given he is in a power position. And is the holder of the Titans’ treasure key.
Over at Titans, Jaden and Winna were busy singing everyone awake in the style of my dear Celine Dion – in honour of her triumphant Grammys appearance, no doubt – before talk turned to the potential treasure chest. Charles and Mark were well and truly believing everything Feras told them, while the rest of the tribe were a little bit disinterested. Mark opened up about the fact Viola and Valeria are his closest allies, and as such, they got to work hunting for the chest together. Well, Mark and Valeria, that is. Viola was busy being bench-pressed by Jaden. After finding it and realising it was locked, they quickly rehid it and returned back to camp to figure out how to convince the Rebels to hand him the key.
The tribes came together with Jonathan in the middle of the jungle for the latest reward challenge where they would have to face off one at a time, racing to knock over the other tribe’s two idols of perches. With the first tribe to 4 jagging a full kids birthday party. Alex and Nathan were first to battle with Alex quickly jagging the first point for the Rebels. Valeria then scored for the Titans, mainly because Rianna once again made an odd choice in a challenge. And side note, could someone check on her as she seems to be struggling with the lack of food. Feras then overcame Jaden, before Kirby played it super smart and destroyed Viola and then Charles and Ray tried for the same strategy, well, after Ray was adorable and chatty with Charles about video games. Oh but Ray wasn’t just iconic and adorbs, he was also the hero, as he secured the win for the Rebels.
They arrived at the party and immediately started smashing all the snacks in sight, before Sarah thanked everyone for holding space for her when she was struggling in the morning. And for dominating in the challenge and scoring her an actual birthday party. Everyone congratulated Ray for being a hero in the challenge, before they found photos from home and completely got distracted. Kirby opened up about her family growing up, Garrick was adorbs dressed as batman, Sarah spoke about her and her dad’s beach trips before Kelli dried her tears long enough to open up about her family. We powered through pretty quickly, so the cliffsnotes are that Aileen grew up in Nepal and Feras has not changed in 30 years. After letting their guards down and opening up, Feras asked if anyone has any ideas who they should give the key to on the Titans tribe, with him wanting to cause as much chaos as possible. While Kirby admitted to us that Feras’ power scares her and while they are close, she knows she needs to stay one step ahead of him, lest she want to be blindsided.
Everyone reunited with Jonathan for an epic obstacle course immunity challenge where they have to race to chop through a log to release planks, go up and over a tower, use the planks to build a bridge, solve a hanging plank puzzle and then use coconuts to knock off the puzzle. After begging to participate all through the reward, Kelli was firm that she wanted to be part of a heroic section of the challenge. But to get there, Jaden and Alex had to absolutely demolish their logs. Obviously Jaden got the Titans out to a small lead, though the Rebels were hot on their heels building the first ladder. The Rebels started to pull out in front until Kelli hit the bridge and slowed everyone down, leaving the tribe to grow angrier and angrier about her existence. The Titans quickly solved their puzzle, and to quote Jonathan, Nathan busted nut after nut, as he secured another immunity for the Titans. As Garrick fumed about needing Kelli gone immediately.
Back at camp it was hard for everyone to hide their rage at Kelli as they lamented about the loss. As she went for a swim with Kirby, everyone straight up talked shit about her decision making skills and the fact she won’t even admit she was wrong. While Kirby tried to get through to her and make her see that she let the tribe down. As everyone locked in the easy Kelli vote, Kirby assured her that she does feel like Kelli is useful to her game. That is, if she promises to vote with her. Kelli tried to join up with everyone at the well, with them all wandering off to find Kirby instead. Scott and Alex tried to point out that Kelli needs to go, with her straight up refusing, given she isn’t a threat and is disposable each and every week and instead, she’d like to get rid of Feras. And while the boys pretended they were on board, their faces say they are ready to get rid of Kelli and to get back to winning. While Alex just wanted to stick with the numbers.
Feras and Garrick meanwhile were catching up in the shelter, hoping that Kirby will remain loyal and they will be able to finally get rid of Kelli. Alex joined them to try and discuss the plan before Kelli followed and sighed in their general vicinity. As they walked away from her, she found the girls with everyone locking in the vote for Feras. As Alex approached Garrick and Feras to confirm their plans, Kirby sent Kelli over to annoy them. Leaving Alex mere seconds to blurt out the plan to blindside him.
Obviously this infuriated Feras who was hurt by the fact Kirby was gunning for him, despite the fact he trusted her. The boys then floated the idea of getting rid of Rianna instead, to leave Kirby all by her lonesome. And I assume, because she is making silly decisions in challenges like Kelli. Feras and Garrick split up to float the idea and find their six votes, with Feras hoping to flip Aileen and Scott to vote with them. Scott continued to have a breakout episode, happily agreeing to get rid of Rianna, given he is close to Kirby and getting rid of Ri leaves Kirby alone to ride with him. Which is smart.
At tribal council Kirby spoke about the importance of people being in the right position in challenges if they want to avoid coming back to tribal council. With Alex barely hiding his disdain for Kelli bombing the challenge. She in turn tried to say that he sucked chopping the wood – which he didn’t, sorry – before Garrick cut in and told them how draining their feud is. JLP then announced that the tribal council will play out a little bit differently tonight, as instead of voting to send someone home, they will be sending someone to the Titans as a saboteur. Immediately making Kirby question her plans, given Feras has the key and sending him to the Titans is handing him even more power. JLP outlined that all the saboteur would have to do is bomb the next immunity challenge and send them back to tribal council. If they succeed, they come back to the Rebels. But if the Titans win the next immunity challenge, they stay on the other tribe.
Scott pointed out that it sounds like the perfect job for Kelli, while she suggested that Feras makes much more sense. Feras admitted he would be happy to go, knowing full well he can unlock the treasure. Feras and Kelli both tried to pitch Feras to go, with Kirby desperately – and obviously – getting her to offer herself up. Kirby grew so anxious about Feras going, she almost offered herself, before admitting that she just doesn’t trust what Feras would do when he makes it to the over tribe. Kirby spiralled more and more, as Kelli panicked about doing it, leading to Scott stepping in and calmly pointing out there is no way she would fail, so it is minimal risk. Which I guess we will find out, as the tribe voted and unanimously sent her to join the Titans as a saboteur. Well, after Alex gleefully pointed out that Kelli is good at everything and is a physical powerhouse and as such, there is no way she could possibly fail.
We followed Kelli over to the Titans tribe where Kelli delighted in waking everyone up, which they, obviously, hated. Winna thought they were under attack before realising they have a new tribe member who literally dove into the shelter. She then told tales about how she was in a beautiful alliance, but then added she was voted out unanimously, which obviously had both Mark and Eden realising it was all bullshit. While Kelli, bless, assumed that once again, she was doing a stellar job.
The next morning over at the Rebels, they were rested and recharged after a quiet Kelli free night. Alex was overjoyed and positively buzzing, as they reflected on how harmonious things now were. Kirby meanwhile was a little nervous, realising that the twist at tribal council ruined the potential blindside and as such, Feras knows he can’t trust her. As Kirby was debriefing with Scott, he shared that Feras had thrown out Ri for the last tribal council, making her feel even more heat. Scott went and looped in Ri, and pointed out they needed to come up with a plan ASAP. You know, aside from Kirby’s repeated get rid of Feras.
We checked in with Titans where Winna and Nathan were ogling Jaden’s ripped bod before they ventured back to camp to learn more about Kelli. And quickly realised that despite them being on the bottom of the Titans tribe, Kelli has bought them one more round, given she is the obvious target should they return to tribal council. Charles and Eden then questioned her about the treasure, with her being very vague about the note – probably genuinely – before spilling that there is likely an idol inside. In a panic, Mark and Viola made a run for it to try and find the box and rather than wait for the key, Mark literally tore the box open and jagged it. And after quickly celebrating, found Valeria to fill her in. Oh and Valeria reiterated that she does not trust Caroline. At all. Even a little bit, which is an iconic feud that I never knew I needed.
The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the latest reward challenge where they would perch between two frames in duos back to back, standing on small footholds, with the last pair standing winning their tribe a glorious coffee and toastie reward. Almost instantly, Garrick and Ray dropped for the Rebels, followed by Jaden and Nathan at the Titans. Tragically the Vs couldn’t get it together and were the next to go, followed by Kelli and Caroline, leaving Charles and Kitty to carry the hopes of the Titans on their literal back. After ten minutes, the remaining pairs stepped down to a smaller foothold and were all still going after twenty minutes, when they had to go to tiny ones. Which saw Sarah and Kirby drop instantly, followed by Charles and Kitty, handing the Rebels yet another reward.
Arriving back at camp, the Rebels were delighted to see the sheer bounty of food and coffee waiting by the fire. Everyone got to work smashing sandwich after sandwich, while Feras kept his eyes firmly on Kirby. Who was busy talking to Scott and Rianna about how best to move forward. Feras then turned his attention to idol hunting, pulling Ray aside to assist, as everyone else made coffee. And while Feras literally had his hand on the idol multiple times before realising it, he eventually spotted it and popped it in his pocket for safe keeping. Not wanting to use it to just save himself once, Feras caught up with Alex to let him know about the idol, followed by Scott, hoping that it would spread like wildfire and buy him even more time.
Things were decidedly less exciting over at the Titans, as Caroline was heartbroken to have missed out on reward. And kinda, sorta became the food tyrant of the tribe, yelling at the boys for eating too much. So now it is Winna and Nathan, and the Vs that hate Caroline. In turn, she was ready to get rid of Nathan ASAP to guarantee they have as much food for everyone as possible. Oh and in Kelli updates, she was vibing on all the conversations she was having with the Titans and was questioning whether throwing the challenge is really the right move for her game. Which is the most Kelli thing that Kelli has said in six episodes.
JLP made his triumphant return for the next immunity challenge where the tribes would race to untangle rope to release paddles, paddle out to collect blocks and then use the blocks to solve a word puzzle. While the rest of the tribe held up a platform on which it would be solved. Oh and despite needing to sabotage the challenge, now was the time for Kelli to choose to sit out. Rebels were first to unlock their chest as the Titans nipped at their heels. They continued to power through the water until they did a little loop, though still managed to make it to shore with a decent lead. Which evaporated, given it is a puzzle and Jaden is ripped. Aileen though made quick work of the puzzle and they managed to spell it, lower their platform with ease and save themselves from tribal council. While Kelli watched on like she had saved herself, despite not doing her job as saboteur. Which, again, is classic Kelli.
Back at camp Kelli admitted to us that she sat out of the immunity challenge because she loves the Titans and just couldn’t bear the thought of sabotaging them. Caroline caught up with Kitty and pushed to get rid of Nathan, given he is literally eating them out of house and home. They quickly pulled in Mark and got to work orchestrating a split between Jaden and Nathan. They looped everyone in, before Winna approached them at the well, with Viola letting him know the plan was to get rid of Nathan. And while he said he thought he could get Jaden onboard, he appeared to be wavering. Eden sensed something was up, asking if he was sure he could turn on them. With him assuring Eden he was fine with it. Everyone quickly got in on the plan, with Winna telling Nathan the plan was instead Kelli.
Mark approached Viola to see whether she believed it was a good idea to go with the safe Nathan vote, or whether it was time to make a move against the middle aged mafia and get rid of Caroline instead. Given she is rubbing everyone the wrong way. Nathan meanwhile admitted to Jaden that he felt like the tribe was primed to blindside him, proving he has a pretty solid read on things. As everyone came together by the fire for dinner, Caroline continued to sass people for eating too much. Viola then got to work throwing out her name as another option, quickly getting the boys on board. After she left, Winna suggested that maybe this is all a ploy to confuse them as Nathan tried to keep him calm. And Jaden looked forward to fireworks at tribal council. Nathan caught up with Kelli by the fire, as the Vs and Mark circled back to confirm Caroline is an option. Though worried if they can really trust the boys to vote with them.
At tribal council Eden spoke about how sending Kelli to the Titans was wise for the Rebels, given she is both open and friendly. Mark questioned whether she was a spy before JLP and Kelli admitted that she was in fact sent over as a saboteur and since they lost immunity – albeit through no work from Kelli – she would be returning to the Rebels, as she held back tears.
Immediately moving on, Nathan spoke about how he has spent the game playing catch-up after not making the right relationships at the start. Eden spoke about how not everyone is aware they could be in trouble, while Valeria suggested they needed to be cautious every single time. Caroline spoke about feeling mildly confident that she is on the right side of the vote, while Kitty suggested that everyone that matters knows the plan, as Jaden laughed about needing to talk to people. Despite laughing it off and trying to act like he was out of the loop, Kitty told him to just hold firm and stick to the plan. And when JLP pointed out that he just said he wasn’t across it, she cut him down and assured him that Jaden was across it. With that the tribe voted and despite the potential excitement, Nathan was shown the door. Tragically, alongside his speedos.
Nathan followed my wailing sobs all the way to Loser Lodge, where I quickly ran into his ripped arms for a hug. He held me as I cried for about 30 minutes, as I sobbed about only having Alex’s speedos left in the game. Despite being arrogant in the first couple of episodes, Nathan is also super kind as he assured me that while his speedos may be gone, I will always have the memory of them. And honestly, that line alone is enough for me to lobby 10 to pop him on the next All Stars. Until then, however, I had to settle with slurping down a big, thick jug of his Nathan Freematriciana Sauce.
Rich, lightly salted and packing a little heat, amatriciana sauce may not be the most famous out of Italy, but it is one of the best. Better still, it is so quick and easy, it is the perfect solution when you don’t know what you want for dinner.
Enjoy!
Nathan Freematriciana Sauce Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 200g pancetta, diced 1 tsp chilli flakes 5 garlic cloves, minced 800g can diced tomatoes ¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped kosher salt and pepper, to taste
Method Pop the oil in a deep skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, pancetta, chilli and garlic for five minutes, stirring frequently. Or until the onion is soft and sweet. Add the tomato paste and cook off for a minute before stirring through the tin tomatoes. Bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook for 10 minutes, or until it comes together. Add the parsley and season to taste.
Serve with your favourite pasta with a generous helping of parmesan, obvi.
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Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways were marooned on the island of Samoa, split into tribes based on their levels of success or application of rules. Honestly, it is still kinda confusing, TBH. Despite the Titans implying strength, they bombed back-to-back-to-almost back immunity challenges, until the Rebels felt it was a good idea to throw number three. You see, the Cuddle Crew – aka the muscled up quartet who are making a play for showmances – felt their strength was enough to carry the tribe and they could afford to lose a challenge and get rid of Kelli. Presumably so they could get some sleep. Back at camp after the challenge, the cool kids thought they were in control, particularly after Peta jagged an idol. Kirby meanwhile wasn’t happy with the plan to get rid of Kelli, so brought the rest of the tribe together to blindside the Cuddle Crew, given 8 is more than 4. At tribal council, though, Kirby voted with them so they felt they had an ally. Which went off without a hitch as Peta was shown the door with an idol in her pocket.
The next day Kelli was still all energy, no doubt emboldened by the fact she survived tribal council. We finally got to meet Aileen, who opened up about feeling like she would be in charge of the tribe before the game, but thus far, she is overwhelmed by being surrounded by such big personalities. And that is not just Kelli. She opened up about feeling like she has let her family down by not going to an ivy league school, however, was proud to have found success her own way. Which is a lot of getting to know you, meaning she is either out tonight, or is pulling off a big move. So I guess, either way, the Rebels will be back at tribal council tonight.
We checked in with the Titans where things were very zen as everyone had a leisurely morning after their night off. Viola was teaching people how to dance, while Caroline was proud that the Middle Aged Mafia were able to take control and she was able to defy the odds of the older woman archetype. We then learnt a little more about her career as a midwife and how it set her up to know when things could potentially go wrong. Which made her trust her gut when she felt Mark was growing closer to the two Vs, and as such, watched them like a hawk. Sadly she wasn’t stealth about it though, so Valeria instantly clocked it and wondered what the hell her problem was. Valeria found Mark to see if he knew why Caroline was acting weird, warning him that she may need to be dealt with sooner rather than later.
Over at the Rebels Alex was fully aware that throwing the challenge was a bad idea, so instead of gloating like he had planned, he was stuck sucking up to everyone and making sure they knew they had a friend in him. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Kirby was thrilled that her plan went off without a hitch. Well, almost, as Garrick confronted her about why she voted with the Cuddle Crew. In front of Kelli, no less. He then exited in tears, heartbroken by the betrayal, while Feras was simply annoyed to be played and motivated to see her sneakiness and raise it. He then went for a wander through the jungle where he discovered a locked box, but given he clearly didn’t have the key, he covered it up and vowed to return ASAP, given he knew it had to hold something powerful.
The tribes reunited with Jonathan for a reward challenge where they would face off two at a time, racing to ring a bell, while also grappling sumo at sea style. And given the first tribe to 3 won a massive grazing plate, everyone was ready to fight. First up were Tobias and Feras were quickly felled by Jaden and Nathan, despite Nathan literally almost drowning for a couple of seconds. Caroline and Viola did battle with Kirby and Rianna, with Rianna absolutely demolishing and winning before anyone realised it had started. Eden and Kitty faced Kirby and Garrick, with Kirby proving to be a lucky charm as she jagged another point before Winna and Mark were defeated by Tobias and Scott who scored reward for the Rebels.
They returned to camp and immediately got to smashing the snacks with everyone forgetting the drama of the day before. That is until they noticed three keys sitting on the table and the calm was broken up as everyone speculated what they could be for. Kirby was wise, telling the tribe they should split into three groups to go hunt for whatever the treasure is. Feras sprung into action, pulling Garrick and Raymond aside to go hunt with him, knowing he could trust them. As Ray was running interference, Feras and Garrick unlocked an idol and a key with a note directing them to give it to the other tribe. Tragically as he was reading the note, Alex wandered up and interrupted the celebrations. Which obviously left him stressed, as he tried to figure out a way out of it. As such, he went back to camp and read the note for everyone, hiding the fact he had an idol, offering to empty his bag and pockets to prove it.
While everyone said they believed him, their faces said otherwise. Alex even pulled him aside to double check, as Feras stuck to his story and Alex assured him he believed it, despite both of them knowing it was all lies. Resulting in Feras deciding Alex now needs to be the next one out.
The tribes joined Jonathan on the beach for the latest immunity challenge where Feras asked the Titans if they had found the treasure box which they assumed was a troll, as the Rebels joined in the sledging. But back to the challenge. The tribes would face off in rounds of aquatic dodgeball with the first tribe to three jagging immunity. Kirby, Feras, Raymond and Aileen faced off against Nathan, Viola, Kitty and Mark as Feras looped Mark in on the box as they wrestled before Nathan made quick work of knocking out the Rebels and scoring the first point for the Titans. Tobias, Sarah, Garrick and Rianna made quick work of Caroline, Valeria, Winna and Eden to tie things up, before Kirby won the battle of the AFL players opposite Nathan, giving Rebels the lead. Eden, Winna, Viola and Mark evened things up after Rianna tried to eliminate Eden, who was already eliminated, allowing Winna to single handedly keep them in it. Before Charles, Caroline, Valeria and Jaden owned the court and won immunity for the Titans.
Back at camp the Rebels were gutted to technically lose their first immunity challenge, lamenting how close they came to victory. After pleasantries, everyone split up to start scrambling, with Tobias confident that being strong, popular and a hard worker means he is guaranteed to be safe. Which didn’t bode well for the first three boots, but you do you boo. As he tended to the fire, Aileen decided that cutting the arrogant still needed to be the name of the game, pulling the mega alliance aside to lock in a vote split on Alex and Tobias, forcing Sarah to decide which of her allies go home. As is becoming the pattern, Alex interrupted things though could tell by the silence he should still be worried. Aileen and Kelli went to fill Kirby in, with her happy to go along with it. Sadly, it was that moment that Kelli decided to spiral and worry that maybe, just maybe, she will catch some strays.
The boys and Rianna were still sitting in silence around the well, before Feras opted to suggest that the tribe could unite to get rid of Kelli. And given that is literally his dream, Alex was all in. To Feras’ face, that is, as instead, Alex wanted to try for a sneaky little blindside of one of the power players. Sarah meanwhile was checking in with Kirby and Kelli, with Tobias and Alex quickly joining them to float the idea of blindsiding Feras. After splitting up, Sarah grew paranoid about Feras playing the idol they think he has, though Alex assured her that he would be too proud to play his idol. By the shelter, Feras grew nervous about trusting Kirby and Ri after the move they pulled at the previous tribal council, and despite the fact Aileen and Rianna assured him he doesn’t need to worry, he was still clearly spooked about going home with an idol in his pocket.
At tribal council Feras spoke about his shit stirring at the challenge, hoping that mentioning the chest would be enough to create a little chaos. Aileen agreed that it was enough to sow confusion, with Kelli admitting stirring the pot is literally her passion. Alex spoke about how Kelli reminds him of his mother and like her, they butt heads from time to time. With Kelli laughing about how she isn’t bothered by it, giving she doesn’t get pressed, but he does. On the love to hate scale, both admitted it will be hard to get things to the love end of the spectrum. Talk turned to the previous tribal council, with Alex admitting the blindside hurt and as such, he cautioned everyone to do something if they are nervous. Tobias admitted he is feeling pretty good, given he cooked everyone dinner and allowed the chaos to happen. Sadly for him though, Kelli and Feras felt it was a little arrogant and rude.
Kirby spoke about how quickly things change, while Rianna was just hopeful to be on the right side of the numbers given all the names she heard that afternoon. Feras started to grow nervous about the vote, feeling just a little too easy, which Garrick agreed with, begging everyone to make the choice to unite the tribe. After a sneeze from Kelli, the tribe voted as Feras took off his jumper to show off his idol, before promptly playing it. Sadly it wasn’t necessary, however, as Kirby and Rianna stood with the outcasts and split the vote between Alex and Tobias. Well almost, as Kelli flipped her vote last minute and eliminated Tobias without forcing Sarah to make the choice.
As he arrived at Loser Lodge Tobias was well and truly confused, given he is totally likeable and didn’t bother scrambling pre-tribal council. Which always screams, I am a great option for you to work with down the line! Obviously I unleashed, Tyra-style, given he is a totally zaddy and while he didn’t rock a speedo like our himbo kings, I would have been happy to have more episodes to look at him. But no, he gave Kelli nothing, and she opted she would have better luck with Alex. As I descended into tears, he pulled me in for a massive hug and apologised for relying on that body, and given it was a reference to Drag Race, I instantly flipped, forgave him and toasted his week with a freshly baked Cottage Topieas Grant.
There is nothing quite like a perfectly portioned little cottage pie to make you forget your troubles. Flakey pastry, rich meat and the creamiest of creamy mashes? Before you even add the cheese, it is glorious.
Enjoy!
Cottage Topieas Grant Serves: 4-8.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 4 garlic cloves, minced 500g lamb mince ¼ cup flour 2 cups chicken stock 400g diced tin tomatoes 2 tbsp tomato sauce 1 ½ tbsp worcestershire sauce 1 zucchini, grated ½ cup diced carrots 2 sheets shortcrust pastry 3-4 cups Gabriel Mash 2 cups cheddar cheese, grated
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, stirring occasionally, for 4 minutes or until soft. Add the garlic and cook for a minute, before stirring in the mince, breaking up with a wooden spoon to avoid lumps, for about five minutes, or until cooked through.
Sprinkle the flour over the mince mixture and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Gradually add the stock while stirring constantly. Followed by the tin tomatoes and sauces. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until thickened and reduced. Then and only then, stir in the zucchini and carrots. Remove from the heat
Cut each pastry sheet in quarters and press into individual pie dishes. Prick the bases with a fork, line with some baking sheet and fill with pastry weights and blind bake for 10 minutes before removing the pastry weights and cooking for a further couple of minutes to brown.
Divide the meat between the 8 prepared pastry cases, top with a layer of mash and finish with a sprinkle of cheese. Transfer the dishes to a baking sheet and pop in the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and set. Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slathering with some tomato relish and devouring through the pain.
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Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls competed in the first ever Lip Sync Slay Off Extravaganza. Not to be confused with a Lip Sync LalapaRuza, which is a different thing. Just let Canada have it, ok? And since it would leave four of the dolls in the bottom and Miss Thing Golden Beaver refused to save two from the lip sync, it would be the first double boot in Canada’s Drag Race herstory. After Nearah flipped her way to the final two, she promptly defeated Aurora and opted to save her friend Denim from the bottom. Leaving Kiki to dominate the bottom three lip sync, sending Aimee and Kitten out the door back-to-back. Followed by the icon herself, Golden Beaver.
Backstage the dolls were devastated to have lost two such iconic queens in one go. Though quickly moved on when they realised that they were now in the top six. Nearah meanwhile was feeling her oats to have a win under her belt, though was still nervous about a design challenge popping in and getting her eliminated. Though trust, she wanted Denim’s help should one come up, given she can no longer rely on the Golden Beaver. Oh and then everyone read Denim for being the only winless queen, though she vowed one was coming. So it is either this week. Or she is in the bottom, because editors are icons themselves.
The next day the dolls were feeling it; exhausted and in need of a rest. Instead of getting one, Brooke dropped by and they learnt that while they would get to sit down in a mini challenge, they would still have to be in quick drag as they take sex advice calls from the audience. Melinda took it very seriously, Nearah couldn’t read, Venus was an effortless star, Denim was ridiculous, Aurora was solid and Kiki was wise and cute in equal measure. And given Venus is a consistent star, she took out victory. Oh and then they were reminded that winning isn’t everything, as this week they’d be starring in Drags to Riches: The Unauthorised Brooke Lynn HytesStory. That’s right, it is time for the rusical!
The dolls split up to listen to the numbers, with Melinda, Nearah and Denim desperate to play Baby Brooke Lynn. So they auditioned, though Nearah gave nothing given she was confident she could do anything. So Melinda got the showtune number. Venus and Kiki meanwhile fought for the Opera number, with the latter offering to take Cabaret to try something different. Aurora took out ballet era Brooke while Nearah reluctantly took the pop star style drag race era, leaving Denim with a gospel number for Brooke’s current hosting life.
With that, the cast split up to get down the lines before Brooke dropped by to check in on the dolls. Melinda was pumped to play Baby Brooke, loving the chance to show off her dance skills. Aurora meanwhile looked forward to giving the professional dancer era, despite not actually having had any training. Kiki was looking forward to having fun, while Nearah was confident in her ability to shine despite the fact she had essentially done the role last week. While Denim pretended she was excited to close the show selling modern Brooke. And Venus was feeling the pressure, but we know she is totally taking it, so who cares.
The dolls pivoted to the mainstage to meet Hollywood Jade and get the choreography down. And since Aurora got to dance alongside two ripped hotties, she slayed and lived for every moment. While Venus tried to hide her boner side of stage. Melinda meanwhile struggled with the counts, though I’m confident it is a fake out, given she had to fight for the role and mother will shine. Kiki had props and promptly struggled, while Nearah was perfect from the very beginning. And told Hollywood and the girls she could do something harder, should it be required. Venus meanwhile was busy stuck in her head as she struggled to stay still, like the roll required. And Denim was a mess. But she is cute and fun, so I feel like she will turn it out when the time comes.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls getting their blonde on as Aurora spoke about how the mini challenge was liberating, given she is quite reserved in her life. Talk obviously turned to sex, with Kiki getting dicked down once a day minimum, Venus proudly called herself a slut, while Melinda spoke about monogamy bing a construct, while Denim and Nearah spoke about finding their person and not wanting to share.
Brooke, Traci and Brad were joined by the iconic – finally – Countess Luann – finally – as From Drags to Riches premiered and closed with Melinda straight up dressed like Megan. And it is iconic and an instant slay. As are the back-up dancers showing off midriff. Aurora’s ballet era number was stunning as she served pass around party bottom, Kiki had fun despite being a mess before Nearah arrived and absolutely demolished. Venus gave all the emotion and had the judges eating out of the palm of her hand before Denim closed the show having a ball, despite being a little muted.
On the Always a Bridesmaid runway Melinda was an absolute mess in a fluff of red, which is exactly what the assignment is, so I live. Aurora was stunning as a corpse bridesmaid, or as Luann said, Ramona. Kiki gave us granny bridesmaid and was having so much fun, Nearah served southern belle in peach, Venus was perfect as a bouquet flower while Denim gave garter glam. And it was so much fun.
The judges lived for Melinda fighting to be the youngest Brooke, as she ended up giving Baby Jane iconography in the role. But they wanted her to give more on the runway. Again. Aurora received wall to wall praise, from doing perfect pointe to giving a stunning runway that was outside the box. And gave Lu a chance to tell her elegance is learned, which is important, my friend. Kiki’s look was beloved, though she was read for so many missteps during the performance, despite not letting it get to her. Nearah too received a tonne of praise, though she was cautioned to give variety. Despite taking the last role and being stuck with it. Venus was praised for having the runway of the episode, and again to quote Lu, being cool and not uncool. Oh and they lived for a riveting performance. While Denim’s creative look received universal praise, though her performance in the rusical was way too subdued as the rest of the dolls joined her for the finale.
Backstage Denim and Kiki were confident they would be bottoming this evening, though for the latter, maybe that was because Kiki was ok if she had to lip sync until the end. Denim meanwhile was annoyed that she didn’t take the role she wanted. Melinda and Nearah meanwhile weren’t sure which of them would be joining them in the bottom three, given both of them were kinda sure they were tops giving they slayed with minimal issues. Despite the judges hating Melinda’s runway.
Ultimately Nearah and Venus were sent to safety as Aurora took out her second win of the season. At the other end of the pack, Melinda’s performance once again saved her as she was sent to safety, leaving Denim and Kiki to battle it out for the final slot to Seven Day Fool by Julie Black. And, well, both dolls turned a show, as Kiki felt her oats and Denim served cutsie sex bomb. Which proved to be enough as Denim was deemed safe, leaving Kiki to sadly sashay away.
As the iconic fashion designer arrived backstage, I pulled her in for an epic hug and assured her that despite not snatching the crown, she has literally given us multiple crowning looks that will live forever in herstory. And that, is kinda cooler. Plus, she still turned a fun performance and arguable won the lip sync, so going home as a robbed goddess is always a win. As is a big, warming bowl of Chickiki Coern Soup.
Sweet and hearty, this soup contains everything you could want on a cold winters night. The chicken melts in your mouth as the rich broth washes away all your problems. Almost like a savoury banana bread, you know?
Enjoy!
Chickiki Coern Soup Serves: 6.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, finely chopped 5 garlic cloves, minced 2 celery stalks, finely chopped 1 carrot, peeled and sliced into half-moons 1 leek, thinly sliced 2 chicken breasts, diced 5 cups chicken stock 1 cup macaroni 310g can creamed corn kosher salt and pepper, to taste 1 cup baby spinach leaves, washed and sliced
Method Pop a lug of oil in a stock pot over medium heat and saute the onion, garlic, celery, carrot and leek for about 5 minutes or until soft and sweet. Add the chicken and cook, stirring, for five minutes.
Pour in the stock, pasta and creamed corn, stir well and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring infrequently for 15 minutes, or until the pasta is cooked. Season to taste.
Remove from the heat and stir through the spinach until wilted. Serve and devour, richly.
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Previously on Canada’s Drag Race after a very dramatic episode and Untucked, the dolls zenned out a little as they played the Snatch Game. After being the centre of all the drama in the last episode, Melinda absolutely dominated and took out her first win of the season. While at the other end of the pack, Kiki, Luna and Aurora bombed or in the latter’s case, were one note and landed in the bottom. Despite all the dolls suggesting nobody should be saved twice in the season, Melinda kept serving mother and returned the favour by saving Kiki. Again. Doing nothing to dispell Kitten’s rumours about an alliance. But that is another problem for another time, as Aurora slayed the lip sync and sent poor Luna home.
And then promptly interrupted the dolls post show dancing spree to announce that this week, two would be going home in a Lip Sync Slay Off. And just like that, joy turned to dread.
Backstage Aurora was thrilled to still be in the competition, though feeling guilty to have been the one to send Luna home. As they sat down, Kitten led the dolls in praising her for a killer performance, with everyone agreeing they have no interest in facing off against her in a lip sync. And given they are about to compete in a lip sync battle, I guess she is guaranteed to stay. Talk turned to Melinda saving Kiki, with her admitting she was happy to pay her back despite what anyone else may think. While her sisters were less than impressed. Talk turned to the upcoming challenge with everyone both gagged and excited, while Kitten was worried she may not get back up should she try for a death drop. On account of her age.
The next day the dolls were well and truly buzzing, while Melinda was just thrilled to be the star of the season given she serves drama. Talk turned to the lip sync slay off, with Kiki looking forward to performing while Nearah was excited to see the trash take themselves out. Oh and then they found a note from Winnie Harlow, which thrilled everyone. After a visitor-less alarm, the dolls split up to beat their mugs and get ready for the lip sync with everyone bonding over the relationship between drag and how they feel about their bodies. Denim spoke about the journey of finding her body as a man, and then pivoting back to hyperfem for work. Venus then shared her journey with disordered eating and how she is working on herself to stay healthy.
As teased, Brooke, Traci and Brad were joined on the panel by Winnie Harlow as the dolls took the stge for the Lip Sync Slay Off Extravaganza. Brooke announced that the battle would feature three rounds, with the losers from round one all up for elimination, while the winners would continue until only one winner remained. The dolls were sent to the back of the stage as Nearah vowed to slaughter the week. But before that, Denim was first called out and selected to lip sync to I’m Not Here to make Friends. Melinda then selected That Don’t Impress Me Much, Venus went with Uninvited before Aurora locked in the first battle, facing off against Denim. Aimee elected to perform to Fever Dream with Nearah deeming her an easy win, so chose to face off against her and officially their feud. While Kitten opted to face off against Melinda, leaving Kiki to fight Venus.
Melinda and Kitten took their places on stage as the rest of the dolls were shipped off to the side. And well, Kitten was right to be scared of facing off against Melinda as she flipped and twirled her way around the stage. Kitten bless, looked absolutely stunning and was so damn cute, but looking perfect wasn’t the challenge, so tragically she was sent to the bottom four and Melinda through to the second round. They traded out with Aurora and Denim as I’m Not Here to Make Friends kicked off and absolutely turned a show. Both the dolls had the right energy, hit every lyric and gave it their all. But yeah, Aurora is a dancer and as such, was just that little more magnetic, which was all it took to send Denim through to the bottom. With Aurora and Melinda now safe, Nearah took the stage to finish off her nemesis Aimee to Fever Dream and yeah, Nearah was right to be confident, as she oozed sex across the stage and felled her enemy and continued on to the next round. While in the final heat, Venus leant into the stillness and mood of the song, feeling all the emotion and devouring, despite a strong showing from Kiki. Who sadly landed in the bottom.
Seeing who landed in the bottom four, it was very clear that one of the dolls had a far worse track record and as such was most likely to go home. So I hedged my bets and told Aimee that now was her time to catch up and get a little culinary comfort. Which as you will see, was very much the case given she was one of the two to go. But we’ll get to that. I pulled Aimee in for a massive hug, thanking her for giving us so much drama and fun this season. Because while Melinda is mother, Aimee would mother on any other season and that deserves as much love and respect as Melinda. Sorta. Or at teh very least, it deserves a big ol’ Gemee Yonce Shephennel Pie.
Gems are one of my most fave food items. I mean, in the world of potato products, they have the perfect balance of crispy outside and fluffy inside. And pop those perfectly ratioed little pockets on top of a shepherd’s pie and you’ve got perfection.
So just enjoy, ok!
Gemee Yonce Shephennel Pie Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 4 garlic cloves, minced 500g lamb mince ¼ cup flour 2 cups chicken stock 400g diced tin tomatoes 2 tbsp tomato sauce 1 ½ tbsp worcestershire sauce 1 cup peas ½ cup diced carrots 40 Potato Gems ½ cup cheddar cheese, grated ½ cup mozzarella cheese, grated chopped Italian parsley, to garnish
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, stirring occasionally, for 4 minutes or until soft. Add the garlic and cook for a minute, before stirring in the mince, breaking up with a wooden spoon to avoid lumps, for about five minutes, or until cooked through.
Sprinkle the flour over the mince mixture and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Gradually add the stock while stirring constantly. Followed by the tin tomatoes and sauces. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until thickened and reduced. Then and only then, stir in the peas and carrots.
Pour the mixture into a baking dish, arrange the potato gems on top of the mince mixture and sprinkle with the cheeses. Pop in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or until golden. Sprinkle with parsley, serve and devour. Like you deserve.
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Previously on Drag Race UK, Ru, Michelle and Co. had themselves a true battle royale as both Cheddar Gorgeous and Danny Beard dominated the season. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Twelve of the brightest stars across the UK assembled to compete for the crown, where we had the joy of experiencing such iconic moments as Sminty’s sad twerk, the formation of wonder duo Black Peppa and White Salt, and had the joy of having JB in the house, ya’ll. But as I mentioned, it was Cheddar and Danny who emerged the star, with once again Ru opting for the funnier queen in Danny, leaving our cerebral cheese as the runner-up.
First to arrive for this season, however, is Tomara Thomas, serving chav Bond girl and TBH, I live for everything about her. She is hilarious, smutty and iconic. Instantly. Banksie finally arrived, serving naked, glam, hooker and you know they’re going to be fun. Oh and they are Cheddar’s doll? So, sign me up for my stan card. Next through the door was Miss Naomi Carter and she serves energy and silliness, and I live. Though maybe I am just like Ru, because her accent is stunning. Michael Marouli arrived serving the love child of Morgan McMichaels and The Viv, so I live for her. Though may hate, and then love her again later. Next to arrive was Kate Butch and between the name and her nerdy look out of drag, my basement flooded.
Cara Melle stomped in all the way from Atlanta, Georgia and I love her energy. And the fact she is flatmates with Tomara? Stunning. Ginger Johnson arrived fresh from the not-so-fresh blocking of the toilet, serving all the old ladies she was around growing up. And like many of the sisters, she is from the north, so is ready to vie to be Ru’s favorite for nothing but her accent. DeDeLicious was up next giving glam and when we found out she is Krystal’s sister, it is not exactly a surprise. Vicki Vivacious arrived serving, and I quote, Cornish Joan Collins and well, I love it as much as I love her pastie. Rounding out the cast is the iconique Alexis Saint-Pete, giving sex doll realness and ugh, she is going to be so much fun and I live for everything about her.
Ru dropped by to welcome her newest daughters to the race, thankfully by wheeling out the Brit Crew. And announcing that their first Maxi Challenge, would be a little ball. With the first category being what they are wearing now. The second category would be Club Tickety Boo, judged by international tastemakers. Aka sisters from across the globe. And they would only have an hour to get dressed. Pangina, Lady Camden, Nicky Doll, Silky, Blu, Sminty and Jimbo took their places alongside the judges as the new dolls arrived ready to stomp the Club Tickety Boo runway.
Tomara high kicked and split, giving warrior stripper and well, I love it all. Banksie gave trash realness and I love her, despite Sminty feeling like she didn’t use the runway. Silky lived for Naomi, Michael Marouli looked like a Vegas half-time show and you know she will let you have a sip of her wine, if you want. Kate Butch tapped her way into their hearts, Ginger looked like an aunty dressed like a lolly at the wedding while Cara Melle ate them all up. DeDe was silly and slayed … so hard, her wig came off. While Vicki was an icon, like the love child of Bianca Del Rio and the doll from Saw, according to Nicky. While Alexis gave sexy stripper, almost falling off the stage in the process.
The dolls made their way backstage to dedrag with DeDe already spiralling over the fact she lost her wig, though trust, she was not going to be playing the victim and will hope her looks are enough to keep her safe. Cara and Banksie caught up, with the latter grateful to have no fuck ups, though admitted she was still worried she didn’t give enough. Cara opened up about trying to get on the show six times, though was grateful it is now when she had come out and live her truth as a trans woman.
Elimination Day arrived, with Ginger feeling the pressure of the competition, worried she didn’t do enough on day one, considering they have been judged from the moment they walked in. Michael and Vicki meanwhile were bonding over their friendship of 15 years, and hearing Michael talk about how hard she has worked and the adversity she has faced and how much getting here means to her was just, well, beautiful. DeDe meanwhile was terrified of landing in the bottom and going home first, though was confident she would be able to beat whoever lands in the bottom with her. Particularly Alexis, who she felt had the most stumbles other than her.
Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by the icon herself, Kristen McMeaneny, as the dolls opened the Fierce Impressions Eleganza Extravaganza runway. Michael Marouli was an iridescent delight in spiked pants and hips for days and well, it was good. Alexis meanwhile gave Polish queen, but make it slutty and well, it was just lovely. Ginger gave glam hippy on the way to the BBQ, DeDe gave baby Shannel coming out of a feathered vagina, Cara was stunning giving golden Aaliyah before Banksie stole the show in a hand painted graffiti gown, homemade in Manschester. While Vicky served slutty British Guard and was absolutely perfect. Kate rolled around stage in curtains, in a good way, while Naomi slayed serving Diana Ross and let’s just say, everything was perfect. While Tomara served sexy angel, despite the fact her wings opened unevenly.
DeDe, Banksie, Kate, Naomi and Tomara were sent to safety before the rest of the dolls were announced as the top queens of the week. Because trust and believe, nobody is going home tonight, instead, the top two will lip sync for the win. The judges lived for all that Michael Marouli served, specifically her energy. Alexis’ final look was beloved, despite the fact all of her looks were kinda the same. Ginger’ Club Tickety Boo moment was read, though given she slayed the final look and made everything she packed – bar one – I love it and so do the judges. Cara meanwhile received wall to wall praise for each and every moment this week. As did Vicki, who gave silly, charm and glamour and did it all perfectly.
Backstage Kate is just thrilled to be safe, as was DeDe who was all but ready to lip sync. The dolls spoke about not being sure who the bottoms would be, assuming it must be Alexis, Vicki and Ginger. The tops arrived and played a bit shady, asking who they felt were in the bottom before gagging them with the fact no one would be going home. Talk turned to who would be lip syncing if there was a bottom, with everyone agreeing on DeDe and arbitrarily guessing Tomara for the wings. Alexis started to spiral about the fact everyone felt she would be in the bottom, which annoyed Ginger, who stepped in to point out how much the judges loved her. And well, I love it.
Ultimately Ginger was sent to safety as were Alexis and Michael, leaving Vicki and Cara to lip sync for the win. To Ooh Aah … Just a Little Bit by Gina G and well, given Cara was in a floor length gown, it was always going to give an unfair advantage to Vicki. Who stomped the floor and took out the first win of the season.
Backstage the dolls were gagged to have made it through the first week and move on as a complete set. Everyone congratulated Vicki on her win, except for Cara who was disappointed to have been pipped at the post. Everyone speculated what the next challenge could be, leading to some shade about Dee coming for Alexis. But none of that really matters, since nobody went home and well, now, the real games begin.
The next day the dolls lined up around the table to kiki about week one, as everyone adired Vicki’s badge. And promptly reminded her the only way to go now, is down. DeDe meanwhile apologised to Alexis for accidentally getting in her head, with Alexis kindly admitting she knew she wasn’t trying to hurt her but trust, she is confident again this week.
Ru dropped by to chat to her new daughters before wheeling out the Brit Crew for a wee mini challenge where they would have to play a game of shady, catty pass the parcel. Banksie was deemed funniest, Cara deemed the most likely to start a fight, Tomara named trade, DeDe was named sloppiest before Tomara took out victory. Of a chew toy, and the ability to choose one item to use in this week’s maxi challenge before the rest of the dolls. Speaking of the challenge, they would be pulling together a look using pet supplies. And it wasn’t just Tomara who could get a pre-selection, she got to take a friend, opting for DeDe. In the hope that she would help with sewing, should she run into issues.
After everyone looted the supplies, Tomara told DeDe she was expecting a hand, while DeDe was living in her confidence, given she made four of Krystal’s best gowns. Banksie meanwhile was inspired by Moschino, Michael was planning to sell iridescent glamour, Alexis was spiralling and Ginger was zen. Naomi too was rather confident, as was Cara – and then some – given she went to fashion school.
Ru made his return alongside THE Edward Enninful alongside the iconic Ru, his sweet Boston Terrier who was just napping on the table like an icon. Banksie shared she was planning to serve dancer, however Ru wanted her to give something fresh and new. Kate on the other hand was collaging animal furs. Banksie had moved her inspo to acid Chanel, Michael was planning to go Grace Jones with a big old train and DeDe was going sexy-dom. Ginger was going OTT with animal print, while Noami was distracted by doo rag and oranges. Tomara meanwhile was worried about her lack of skills, while Cara was throwing down her skills, though we know that runs the risk of setting the judges expectations sky high.
Oh and then Ru set her and Tomara bickering as Tomara tried to explain that she selected DeDe as she can sew, despite the fact Cara is right there.
After the trio departed, Alexis opted to change her plans and make a gown while Vicki was essentially ready to stomp the runway as she powered ahead. Cara meanwhile was well and truly in her feels, heartbroken about the fact Tomara said she had never seen anything she has sewed over the years . And then things got super heated, which made everyone both awkward and want to grab some popcorn.
Elimination Day arrived with the energy a mix of anxiety and chaos as they tried to put some finishing touches on her look. Alexis turned her attention to storytelling, ready to charm and distract her way to a victory. Michael was going Disgrace Jones, while Vicki was going OTT Barbie though was really fighting for congeniality, as she assured Banksie and Michael she’d be happy for them to win. Naomi and Cara were busy spiralling as time started to hurt their finished products. Ginger meanwhile was hopeful to avoid the bottom, while DeDe was confident she would be getting redemption as Tomara was ready to sell her bag of shit.
Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by Yasmin Finney as Kate Butch opened the runway, serving slutty cat lady in all the right ways. Banksie rocked handkerchiefs in the most stunning gown possible, Cara was solid, despite not being fully feathered before Ginger gave old Jem on the way home from the races, Bankies was caught in a net and oh so camp while Naomi’s outfit was just a net but damn she is charming and TBH, sometimes, that is enough. DeDe served rich old lady out walking the dog, Tomara gave glamour showgirl, Michael served full psychic diva while Vicki’s Malibu Barbie look was absolutely stunning.
Kate, Ginger, Michael and Vicki were sent to safety before Banksie was praised for a stunning concept and even better execution. The top of Cara’s dress was beloved, though not finishing the bottom was a fail. Alexis’ performance was beloved though the execution of the dress was deemed a mess. Speaking of messes, Naomi’s dress was read as fugly, though given she also hates it, it doesn’t really matter. DeDe received wall to wall praise, earning her rudemption, before Tomara got all the love for turning such a glorious outfit. Thought Michelle would like her to cover her arse just once on the runway.
Backstage the dolls admitted they felt they all could have been in the top. Before the disappointment could kick in, the tops and bottoms joined them, and shared Dede, Tomara and Banksie are in the top. With DeDe vibrating at the possibility of winning, though shared she thinks it would ultimately go to Banksie. Who said the same about DeDe. Alexis and Naomi meanwhile were disappointed to be clearly lip syncing, though Naomi had to admit she deserved it. And honestly sold it. While Cara broke down over letting herself down.
Ultimately Tomara and DeDe were deemed safe as Banksie took out her first victory before Noami was sent to direct to the bottom two alongside Alexis. As Cara joined the safe girls at the back of the stage. As Hot in It by Tiësto and Charli XCX kicked off, it was clear that neither doll wanted to become the Gothy Kendoll of the season, however Naomi went from strength to strength as she charmed the judges. Poor Alexis tried to take off her shoes – and failed – and strip down. Sadly though, it wasn’t enough as Naomi lived to see another day and sweet Alexis was sent packing.
As Alexis arrived backstage, I pulled her in for an epic hug and reminded her that if you can’t be first, it is better to be the worst (placing queen) as you will always be memorable. And given how much of an icon she is, she also gets the benefit of being viewed as a robbed goddess. Which does wonders for one’s career. After that epic peptalk, we kikied about the good old days – I spent my 20s in Poland, as I was on the prowl for pole and got confused – before toasting her ongoing success with a warming Alexis Saint-Peteloaf.
This Swedish meatball inspired loaf is melt in the mouth majesty. Delicately flavoured with a nice whack of herb, it is the perfect Sunday dinner to warm the soul, fight off Sunday scaries and dull the pain of becoming first boot. That is its power.
Enjoy!
Alexis Saint-Peteloaf Serves: 6.
Ingredients 1 cup breadcrumbs ½ cup milk 10 rashers streaky bacon 500g pork mince 500g beef mince 25g cold butter, grated 1 onion, diced 6 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp parsley, roughly chopped 2 tbsp dill, roughly chopped ½ tsp ground nutmeg ¼ tsp ground allspice 2 eggs salt and pepper, to taste
Method Heat the oven to 180C.
Combine the breadcrumbs and milk in a large bowl and leave for a minute or so, or until the milk has all been absorbed. Roughly chop two of the bacon rashers and add to the bowl along with the minces, grated butter, onion, garlic, parsley, dill, nutmeg, allspice, egg and a good whack of salt and pepper. Gently scrunch together with your hand until just combined.
Line a baking sheet and transfer the mixture to the centre, forming into a large loaf. Lay the remaining bacon over the top, tucking in on either side to secure. Transfer to the oven and bake for 90 minutes, or until golden and crisp.
Remove from the oven and allow to rest before serving with some piping hot mash, and devouring.
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Previously on Survivor the franchise was reborn thanks in no small part to – and by that, completely because of – the Tika Three. Despite Bruce concussing himself within the first 5 minutes and dooming the tribe to some early losses, Carolyn, Carson and Yam Yam powered through the season and made it all the way to the top four. And not just powered, by ran diversions, added drama and spice and well, were just delights, TBH. So much so that Survivor is back in the race for the Emmys and our current reigning – Yam Yam – is iconic.
But lions, tigers and zaddies – oh my! – that was last season, and this is now. 18 new castaways boated into frame where we learnt Drew is a genius baby, Katurah is going to keep her career as a lawyer a secret and Emily would rather go home first if she isn’t going to win, because what a waste of time. Like a boss. Or Pia Miranda, who gave a very similar winner’s quote. Jake lives with his grandmother and I love him, Sifu is a zen dude bro straight from Ken’s mojo dojo casa house, Sean is a sweet zaddy who I will stan, Kellie is ready to cut throats and Dee is leaving nothing in the tank.
The speed boats docked at a cute little barge where the new gang met up with Probst, while we met Austin who is BAE. Punkie Johnson lookalike Sabiyah meanwhile is already an icon, while Brandon sobbed, overjoyed to just be here. While Libra Kendra is just living for the vibes, so I live for her. After Probst welcomed them to the new season, he reminded them that while he will try over and over to derail the game with twists, it is still a social game at its core. Brandon won hearts as he continued to sob over Jeff being in his presence and ugh, I love his energy. Kinda. Bruce meanwhile was at an 11, which is tragically exactly what cost him his place in the game the first time. But you know, props to him for pointing out he has zero advantage given he barely lasted an hour. Emily meanwhile called bullshit and reminded him that he had the time to mentally prepare and that is an advantage in itself. And when he tried to refute THAT, she pointed out he was talking with authority and yeah, she is feisty and I love it.
We then got the tribe names, Reba – because she’s a Survivor – Lulu and Belo, before Probst threw them into a marooning challenge, where two members from each tribe empty a crate of sandbags and collect a key before two more dive off the boat and swim to a dinghy to get a second while the third duo would have to use the keys to unlock poles to release their flint. Which the victor gets to keep, along with a pot and machete. Austin and Sifu got Reba out to an early lead with Kaleb and Sabiyah nipping at their heels for Lulu while Katurah and Bruce were running last for Belo, though thankfully both were well. Sean and Brandon whipped through the second part and put Lulu out in front, until Brandon choked on the ladder allowing Kellie and Jake to put Belo out in front. Somehow they all caught up at releasing their flint with Reba just nabbing victory.
Please use this time to go listen to the supercut of the theme song above.
Lulu and Belo then had to pick a new duo to work for their supplies with Kaleb and Sabiyah and Brando and Jake whisked off to another island to complete the sweat vs. savvy challenge. While Reba calmly paddled to their camp and celebrated having an advantage over their rivals. They took some time to introduce themselves, with everyone gagged J. is a singer songwriter, while Julie is a single mum who will be hiding the fact she is an attorney too. Drew meanwhile talks about himself in the third person and thinks he is the broiest nerd to ever exist and yeah, I don’t know if it is going to be as winning as he thinks.
Bruce and his angels arrived at Belo, thrilled for the lovely beach while he wanted them to know he is not Dad, he doesn’t want to lead and he just wants to have fun. Our Libran queen Kendra wanted to weave some palm fronds which Bruce cautioned was a waste of time, before he continued to list a bunch of things he learnt from his first time on the island and generally took the lead. While this annoyed the dolls, they loved that they were all vibing and let the astrology queens run the game and take out the win.
Over at Lulu, Emily immediately asked Hannah and Sean if they thought it was suss that Kaleb and Sabiyah volunteered to participate in the secondary challenge. Before they locked them in as targets, the group wandered around trying to figure out what to do before Brandon returned and spoke about how anxious he is and having a sit down. Oh and Hannah swept, while poor Sean just wanted someone to get to work with him until the others got back with supplies. Hopefully.
Speaking of supplies, Kaleb, Sabiyah, Jake and Brando arrived at the challenge where they learnt they would be facing off for supplies rather than both potentially winning. They would have an hour to move 40 logs from one end of the beach to the other before releasing a flint from a puzzle, with only one winning. If they finish in time, that is. Which they didn’t, painting an epic target on all of their shoulders given nobody has ever failed the challenges in the modern era. And now two tribes have nothing.
Belo were the first to learn they were screwed as Jake and Brando arrived and tried to keep the mood up, assuring their tribe that Lulu is also screwed, so it is all good. As Sabiyah and Kaleb arrived to warn the crew that they got nothing, Emily was immediately pissed and got to work warning her tribemates that they clearly took an advantage. Hannah and Brandon meanwhile were breaking down in tears talking about how stressful the game is, starved and tired, already. After a couple of hours. Though, hey, maybe it is Hannah’s nicotine withdrawal. Back at Belo, the ladies were busy locking in a final three which I love. Though the fact that Kendra wants to target Jake for being a lawyer, I am worried it will be their undoing, since Katurah is also one. Though given she is expertly pretending to be an office manager, maybe the gals can ride to the end.
The next day Lulu was being carried by Punkie Johnson who was busy leading them in building a shelter. Despite Emily’s bad attitude. As everyone grew annoyed by her glass half-empty vibe, they locked in an alliance against her. Though given they all thought the pyramids were alien batteries, I’m not sure she would really care to leave the rest of them chatting conspiracies and heading home.
Over at Reba Sifu was collecting wood slash hunting for idols. Which his tribe realised he was doing, so in turn, went hunting for him. While he was hiding behind shrubs saying he was planning to play like Tony. Though wasn’t very stealth as his rustling got him caught in a matter of minutes. So bye Sifu, Dee and the dolls hate you. Austin meanwhile was serving zaddy in his boxers and calmly snatched the Beware Advantage in a tree. He learnt that to claim an idol, he would need to decipher a coded message on the tribe flag to learn the next step. Oh and until he gets the idol, he can’t vote at tribal council.
The tribes came together with Jeffrey for the first immunity challenge of the season where they would race up and over a ramp into a mud pit, drag a bag of coconuts, shoot them in a sack to release keys and then climb a tower, release puzzle pieces and solve it. With the first two to finish claiming immunity and the losing the tribe heading to tribal council and losing their flint. Or just not getting one, if Lulu or Belo keep their losing ways going. Belo got out to the earliest of leads as they powered through the mud, followed by Reba as Lulu took up the rear. Which was how things stayed the entire challenge, obstacle after obstacle, until Reba made it to the puzzle first. Belo managed to make quick work of the puzzle and jag immunity as Lulu remained completely out of things, leaving Reba to snatch the second and put Lulu out of their misery.
Back at camp the tribe went into the ocean to wash off the mud as Hannah admitted to feeling relief over the fact they could actually vote her out and send her home. She told Brandon she was ready to go, though was worried about how she could convince people to flip the vote from Emily to her. Brandon meanwhile tried to convince her to stay as he couldn’t do it without her. Brandon started to break down, crying to Kaleb and Sabiyah about being in so much pain with reflux, while Sabiyah calmly told him he was having a panic attack. Emily caught up with Hannah and Brandon to float the idea of getting rid of Kaleb to break up the strong duo of Kaleb and Sabiyah, so she could hopefully work with her. Sadly for Emily though, Brandon immediately told Kaleb. Who, sadly for Brandon, immediately approached Sean and Hannah to get rid of Brandon for bombing any and all challenges.
At the glam AF tribal council, the tribe lit their torches and got to kiki-ing with Probst as Sean admitted that coming into the game he is questioning everything about himself and who he is. Emily meanwhile felt her personality is just amplified in the game, rather than necessarily being different. Hannah meanwhile opened up about being emotionally wrecked and not sure if she even wants to be here. Sabiyah pointed out that if she wants to go, that is great, though maybe she should wait for a couple of rounds to see if things get better. Emily meanwhile called out Sabiyah and Kaleb for forming a tight alliance, and pointed out that given they are strong, they can dictate what happens.
Talk turned to Brandon bombing all the things with him reiterating he would love to stay and comfort people while Emily desperately wants to work through things and survive. Hannah, who I just realised looks like Jamie Lynn Spears, then pointed out that she would love to see how it could all play out. From the comfort of the couch. And as such, she would happily just quit, rather than having a formal vote. Probst then asked if the tribe would be willing to do a mercy kill, with them all agreeing through tears before Probst up and snuffed her torch, granting her wish. Without even cussing her out like he would in the good old days, like Osten.
As she arrived back at Loser Lodge, she ran into my arms and started jumping up and down, grateful, not just for being back in civilisation but because she now gave us an iconic, memorable first boot. I mean, sure, a cancelled tribal council leaves us with Survivor blue balls, it did protect our newest Queen and future winner, Emily and as such, I will let it slide. So I simply thanked Hannah for her service over a piping hot Beef & Eggplant Fattennah Rose.
This tweaked little Nigella number is perfect for a lady that loves all the glorious comfort of a warm home. Earthy and warming, it is the perfect, rich dish to help work you through any and all problems.
Enjoy!
Beef & Eggplant Fattennah Rose Serves: 4.
Ingredients 4 Pita Andre Bread, cut into triangles ¼ cup olive oil 1 onion, diced 1 eggplant, diced 2 tsp cumin 2 tsp cumin 2 tsp ground coriander 1 tsp paprika 2 tsp sea salt flakes 500g beef mince 500g Greek yoghurt 75ml tahini 45ml lemon juice 2 garlic cloves, minced 100g pomegranate seeds 2 tbsp mint leaves, roughly chopped
Method Preheat the oven to 180°C. Toast the pita triangles with 1 tablespoon of olive oil, pop on a lined baking sheet and bake for 10–15 minutes, or until they are crisp. Remove and allow to cool.
Heat the rest of the oil in a large skillet over low heat and cook the onion for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Crank up to medium and stir through the eggplant, and cook for 10 minutes. Stir in the cumin, coriander, paprike and half the salt with the mince, breaking up the beef with a wooden spoon as you go. Cook for ten minutes or until the beef is cooked through. Remove from heat
Combine the yoghurt, tahini, lemon juice, garlic and a teaspoon of salt in a heatproof bowl. Pop over a double boiler and beat until it is light and thickened.
To assemble, divide the pita chips between plates, top with the beef, followed by the yoghurt and top with a sprinkle of pomegranate and mint. Then devouring.
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Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls competed in a Drag Brunch Talent Show, which almost felt like the producers had another episode planned which got asked at the last minute and the two challenges were combined. But I digress. Flor was iconic from start to finish as she did a sexy CPR tutorial, Hollywould sang, Bumpa had no jokes, Gabriella was wacky with nothing but hula hoops while Isis was emotive and beautiful. And far and away won the challenge. At the other end of the pack, Hollywould was cautioned to open up before rightly being sent to safety, leaving Italy’s own Gabriella to tragically send Aunt Bumpa home.
Backstage Gabriella was feeling it after the lip sync, glad to have survived though heartbroken she took Bumpa’s chance in the process. The dolls thankfully praised Bumpa for being a damn icon before heading over to the couches to sit down and have a kiki. Isis was thrilled to jag her second win before speculating just who would be the one to miss out on a spot in the finale, telling Flor she is most likely to go given she is winless. While Hollywould speculated to us that it would be more likely Gabriella was going home, given Flor is at least consistent.
The next day the doll’s were overjoyed to have made it to the top four, though Flor in particular was still just desperate to jag a win. They spoke about whether they had predicted that this would be the top four when they arrived, with Hollywould scalping Gabriella by saying she expected everyone but her to get to the end. Talk turned to Hollywould and Ru’s interaction on the mainstage with Flor, who speaks English as a second language, once again explaining that Ru meant she just wanted her to open up to the judges like she does to them, given she is so charming and lovely backstage.
Right on cue Ru dropped by and immediately warmed my cold heart by wheeling out four dogs and their owners. Who would become the newest members of the dolls’ drag families. Humans and dogs. As the winner of the previous challenge, Isis was able to pair everyone up, so jagged the skinny girl for herself, Gabriella got the zaddy, Hollywould got the alternative doll while Flor got the sweet, shorter lady.
The dolls pulled their human and dog aside for a get to know you session, with Isis’ dog instantly bonding with her while we learnt her human was queer. So yeah, slay. Arlene, doggy Ru and Hollywould were vibing hard, talking about the heaviness of mental health and how the love of dogs can help and ugh, I am in tears already. Flor meanwhile wasn’t winning over Burrito, while she and Grace did become the fastest of friends. Gabriella’s human meanwhile can sit on my face, though he and Billy are also icons and I only want good things for them.
Oh and then Gabriella wisely shared that her cat pissed in her drag bag once, which adds nothing, but is very important to me.
Ru made her ruturn to kiki with Hollywould and Arlene looking on as Ru and dog-Ru just vibed like the bestest of friends. Oh and then Ru confronted Hollywould about lying about her age which was honestly, iconic. Taina opened up about how much her brother loved drag growing up, before Isis gushed about how comfortable she was becoming in the race. Flor, Grace and Burrito meanwhile were charming and had Ru in absolute hysterics and ugh, I love it. Aaron, meanwhile, had Ru dripping, which, relatable. Before she challenged Gabriella to show more facets of herself and just feel everything, rather than overthinking things.
After Ru left, Gabriella smartly focused on slutting Aaron up while Isis and Taina were having D&Ms about life and becoming the firmest friends and well, they are winning the challenge, right?
Flor, Grace and Burrito were first up to rehearse on the mainstage and while Flor was desperate to form a bond with Burrito for the gags, she was having none of it and TBH, I love it. Isis, Taina and Blue meanwhile were absolutely iconic before Hollywould and Dog Ru were energetic and iconic. The latter potentially a little too much. While Gabriella was focused on getting Billy off lead, like a seasoned performer.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls kiking about how tired they are after staying up all night getting things ready. The dogs and their humans returned with Aaron unveiling her lack of moustache, arm and chest hair. They split up to get prepped with Isis and Taina giggling, Flor trying to get Grace in the zone while Gabriella was opening up to Aaron about her lack of confidence in her body and that she wants to leverage his sexiness to help her serve something different. Because dammit, Gabriella knows she is worth it and ready to do the thing, Angela Bassett style. Flor and Grace meanwhile were bonding over their husbands and ugh, give them the win too as I love it all.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by zaddy Josh Cavallo as the Haus of Hollywould kicked off The Drag Family Resemblance: Doggy Style runway serving old Hollywood glamour, flowing in beads and satin. Ivis Avis, Venus Tina and Neptune Loren shimmered in glorious white gowns, complete with Neptune serving tricks and being a complete star. Flor and Rosa allowed Burrito Bouquet to make a glamorous entrance, with all of them looking expensive and beautiful. While Gabriella, Isabella and B’Leaning Tower of Pisa served stunts and tricks, giving sexy, slutty Flintstones and ugh, I love it too.
Hollywould was praised for looking glam, despite a complete lack of family resemblance. While Rhys was more thrilled to see Hollywould having fun and living it up. Isis deservedly received universal praise, for giving killer looks, serving family resemblance and all around charming the judges. Flor too received nothing but love, particularly since she far and away gave the best doggy outfit. And after Grace thanked RuPaul for creating the show, I am confident Flor may just get her first victory! While Gabriella’s concept won over the judges, they wished there was more family resemblance. And more importantly, they loved how well behaved 10 month old Billy is. Oh and then Gabriella explained she didn’t give camp because she wants to show them she believes she can truly be sexy.
Backstage Hollywould was ready to lip sync if needed, on her way to the crown, while Gabriella was disappointed Michelle didn’t live for her concept. Isis on the other hand wasn’t sure who would take out another win, given she and Flor both got glowing critiques.
Ultimately both of them took out victory and found themselves the first two members of the top three, while Hollywould and Gabriella had to battle for the last spot. And damn, they were hun-gry. As Not About You by Haiku Hands kicked off, both of the dolls had all the energy, hit every lyric and served moves, but there was something about Gabriella you couldn’t take your eyes off and it was that extra something that sent her through to the finale and Hollywould home in fourth place.
While I am thrilled for each and every member of the top three, I do think Hollywould deserved to be there alongside them and as such, broke down in tears of shattering disappointment. Hollywould being sweet, followed me sorrowful weeping and pulled me in for a massive hug backstage. And like an icon, flipped the script, assuring me that she will be the first Down Under girl to win and All Stars season and as such, no more tears would be cried. So I followed her lead, dried my eyes, got to brainstorming ideas to get her to the top on her second round and, most importantly, whipped up a piping hot Hollymajoun Star.
This glorious little number is Antoni’s – my beautiful ex – take on a lahmajoun, with a few tweaks here and there for taste. Earthy and rich, yet fresh and zingy, it is a quick easy meal that you’ll come back to time and time again.
Enjoy!
Hollymajoun Star Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 green capsicum, diced 1 onion, diced 4 garlic cloves, minced ⅓ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped ¼ cup mint, roughly chopped 500g lamb mince 2 tsp tomato paste 1 tsp chilli flakes ¼ tsp ground allspice ¾ tsp kosher salt ¼ tsp black pepper 6 Pita Andre Breads 1 tomato, diced ¾ cup natural yoghurt ⅓ cup black olives, sliced
Method Preheat the oven to 190C.
Blitz the capsicum, onion, garlic, parsley and mint in a food processor until finely chopped. Add the lamb, tomato paste, chilli, allspice, salt and pepper and blitz until well combined.
Pop the pitas on a pair of lined baking sheets and divide the meat between them, flattening out to form a flat disc on top. Transfer to the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden and brown.
Remove from the oven and dab away some of the excess fat with a paper towel before serving piping hot, with a sprinkle of tomato, dollop of yoghurt and a smattering of black olives. And then devouring, like a boss.
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