Previously on Survivor the tribe met Probst for the first official individual immunity challenge. Only it wasn’t, because as is tradition in the new era, the tribe were split into two random groups with one person winning immunity on each group. And then each group would go to tribal council and vote someone out. To make it twistier, the person that stayed up the longest would earn their group reward and a spot on the jury. As the first person out would become the final pre-juror. After Dee and her super-toes won her group reward, the losers went back to Lulu where Drew offered up Sifu as the target to save himself. And while Kendra wanted to make a move against Bruce, Kellie was able to keep them together and along with Emily, they sent Sifu out of the game and all the way home.
But back to the other group. After the challenge, we followed Quentin Tarrantino’s dream and the team off to the Sanctuary where they joyfully smashed tacos and congratulated each other on making it to the jury. As they smashed their food, Julie spoke about how nervous she was to navigate the vote. Particularly since Kaleb has proven lucky thus far and she doesn’t want it to continue at the expense of her game. Sadly for her, Jake had firmly set his sights on taking out Julie for no other reason than it could potentially weaken Dee, who he deems the biggest threat.
Back at camp Dee and Austin caught up about the vote, with Austin suggesting it would be a good idea to keep Kaleb around, given he is a bigger threat than them and as such, will always be a target. Sadly for him, Dee was fixated on voting out Kaleb again, given it is one that won’t ruffle any feathers. They looped in Jake and Julie, and while Julie was all good, Jake was sick of being told what to do and he went to talk to Kaleb. Kaleb knew his only hope was with Katurah and as such, cautioned Jake that they need to tell her about Bruce’s idol, because if she learns about it from Austin, she is likely to flip on them too. And she is crucial to taking out Julie. Assuming that in a revote, Austin would be too scared to go to rocks and as such, would eventually join them.
Kaleb caught up with Katurah and let her know the plan to spook Austin into flipping on a revote, before he told her about Bruce’s vote. Instantly locking in her loyalty knowing that while Belo are happy to keep her in the dark, he is willing to protect her. Katurah caught up with Jake so that they could run through the plans between Julie and Kaleb, and which one would take them further. She then confronted Jake about the knowledge of the idol, with him subtly pinning the blame on Kaleb and oh god, don’t turn it on my angel.
As the other group left tribal council and the future jurors filed in, Dee spoke about putting the game on pause until they returned from the Sanctuary. And how their feast was a lovely, bonding experience. Which Jake agreed with, though also pointed out that they still need to send someone to kick off the jury. Julie spoke about thinking she was going to play the game as a robot, however she realises it is heartbreaking to send someone home. Katurah spoke about the nervousness of finally being an option to go home, given she has luckily been immune thus far, while Jake admitted he just wants to work with people he thinks will take him further. Kaleb meanwhile said that he played it differently, taking his foot off the gas to show he is willing to work and they don’t need to fear him. Dee spoke about that being great and all, but reminded him that everything relies on people buying what he is selling, too. With Katurah agreeing he has no other options, so of course he is going to say it. And given all the confusion, she will be trusting her gut tonight.
With that the group voted and tragically Katurah joined the Rebas to send Kaleb out of the game, likely to become the sweetest King of the Jury of all time. As he arrived in Ponderosa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being such a delightful breath of fresh air all season. More importantly, he single handedly turned Emily’s game around and allowed her to shine – ignoring Hannah’s quit saving her first, TBH – and while I loved him for himself, that heroic act delivered the season, and for that we should all be grateful. Even more so than him being a total zaddy, and such glorious company to smash a Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold with. Particularly since it is what cursed him out of the game.
You know I have a passion for putting sausage in my mouth, and with the addition of kale, you can argue this is healthy. Kinda. A little earthy with a kick of heat, this pizza is super easy to throw together, and will have you coming back for more and more.
Enjoy!
Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold Serves: 2-4, depending on need and/or hunger.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor 4 italian sausages, skins removed 4 cloves garlic, crushed ⅓ cup passata oregano and basil, roughly chopped, to taste 1 tsp chilli flakes 2 cups shredded kale mozzarella, to taste
Method Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.
Pop the sausage in a skillet over medium heat and cook, breaking up into large chunks with a wooden spoon as you go for a couple of minutes. Add in the garlic and cook for a further minute, or until the sausage is just cooked through.
To assemble, smear passata over the prepared bases, sprinkle with the herbs and chilli, followed by the kale and garlicky sausage before topping, generously, with mozzarella.
Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.
Serve and devour immediately, eating through the pain.
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Previously on Survivor the top six were put through their paces in an epic team reward challenge which was dominated by Carson, Lauren and Yam Yam. As they joyously hung out at the Sanctuary, Lauren floated the idea of getting rid of Carolyn given she is beloved by the jury and she also wanted to break up the Tika. While Carson was sure it was a no go, Yam Yam knew she was right – given she left out the latter – and considered the idea. After Lauren took out immunity, it became a battle between Jamie and Carolyn to stay. Ultimately the Tikas and Heidi stayed firm, blindsiding Jamie and barring immunity, paved their path to the final four.
The final five arrived at their new desolate home for the final few days of the competition, and while they had nothing, they were all just grateful to still be in the game. The tribe asked Heidi about her just played idol and while everyone was gagged by it, they were more focused on the fact another would be hidden. The Tika three then caught up by the well to talk about hunting for said idol, with Carson not interested in trying tonight given his eyesight is busted. Yam Yam meanwhile pretended he found an idol before admitting it was a gag and ugh, I love Tika so much.
The next day the tribe were still focussed on idols with Heidi talking about how they burn a hole in your pocket and while she didn’t need it the night before, she has no regrets about playing it as she’d still rather guarantee her place in the game when she can. As they split up to hunt, Heidi spoke to us about being proud to be the last Soka standing, while Carolyn was proud to always be herself and Yam Yam felt that finding the idol would be what secures him his win. While he wandered around the tree that the idol was tied in. Thankfully he wasn’t alone as everyone circled it unaware, as Carson spoke about his game solely coming down to numbers and relationships while poor Lauren knew that the only way to make it to the end would be to win challenges. As much as she tries to build bonds.
Carolyn and Carson continued hunting, talking about how happy they were that the three stooges managed to make it to the end together. Sadly Lauren was busy smearing Carson’s name to Yam Yam and Heidi, who agreed he is definitely the biggest threat. She pulled Carolyn aside who agreed that she knows Carson is a massive threat, though is hopeful that he is so loyal to her that he doesn’t see a blindside coming if and when necessary. While Lauren and Carson both agreed that they know a target is on their backs, so their only hope was winning immunity.
Right on cue, Jeffrey appeared for the final five immunity challenge where they would race through a three-tier structure to collect keys, then open a chest to release a rope which in turn releases a ladder and then solve a puzzle. So, congratulations Carson and your printer! Oh and in addition to immunity, the victor gets to go to the Sanctuary for an epic feast. Everyone whipped through the structure, with Carson and Heidi neck and neck for the narrow lead. Heidi slowly started to pull away before Carson closed the gap again. The duo released their ladders at the same time, leading to them starting the puzzle at the same time, which obviously gave Carson a massive advantage as he whipped through it with ease – despite everyone eventually making it to the puzzle – and snatched yet another immunity. Carson was obviously then given the chance to take someone with him, electing to take Yam Yam. Which kinda shocked me, given Mama Carolyn is right there.
We followed the boys to the Sanctuary where they promptly loaded up their plates and got to enjoying their date – I love Yam Yam feeling like the belle of the ball – before talk turned to the upcoming vote. Yam Yam immediately pointed out that Carolyn is far and away the biggest threat, while Carson felt that the best road ahead for all of the Tikas is to go to the end together. Carson suggested the jury would love an underdog story and as such, set his sights on Lauren while Yam Yam felt like Carolyn is the bigger issue but given Carson isn’t willing to budge, there is nothing he can do but hope it doesn’t bite him.
Back at camp Heidi admitted she was shocked Carolyn wasn’t taken on the reward, while Lauren felt like it proved they were super close and she is likely going home next. Heidi suggested the three of them would be able to make a move against them and as such, they need to get plotting. Lauren pointed out that Yam Yam was coming for Carolyn at the last tribal council and even though it may be a lie, it still made her nervous. And open to flipping the script on her closest ally.
The boys returned to camp with Carolyn barely able to hide her anger at Yam Yam and while she pretended it was just because she was hungry, Yam Yam knew something was up. The boys addressed the awkwardness head on and when Lauren went for a walk, Carson straight up confirmed he will be voting for her no matter what. While Heidi quietly watched on, Carolyn suggested maybe the jury needs a little Tika on it which immediately spooked Yam Yam. The boys caught up to talk through the complication with Carolyn, agreeing that if they cannot trust she is with them, they will have to move the vote from Lauren over to Carolyn instead.
Yam Yam caught up with Lauren next, pointing out that if the vote is between the two of them, why don’t they just join together to get rid of Carolyn instead. And while Lauren was hopeful, she also knew they’re bond is complex – and iconic – and felt like it was just a family tiff. As such, she returned to the idol hunting as that was the only way to guarantee a spot in the final four. The boys reconvened, now worried that Lauren had an idol, so now Carson floated the idea of taking out Heidi instead.
At tribal council Lauren admitted camp wasn’t chaotic and that she is fully expecting to be going home tonight, given the Tikas are clearly aligned and nobody spoke to her. This elicited some massive eye rolls from Caroyln before she and Heidi countered that they actually spoke to her and threw out names. Lauren on the other hand said there was nothing solid, which only further exasperated Carolyn and Heidi. Carson admitted it all could be a fake out, while Heidi felt that it is unlikely that someone didn’t find the idol, given they were all hunting all day. Lauren admitted it would be a great ruse if she had one, while Yam Yam agreed it would be amazing to see an idol play, however he knows it would cost him his place and as such, he is ok without seeing it. He opened up that he knows there are always two plans and since he only knows one, he assumes he is number two which makes him sad.
Lauren started to break down, proud to have made it to the top five and to be the last Ratu standing. She opened up that she was hoping her boys would be proud of her, given she dominated challenges and surprised herself, which set everyone off, as they sobbed through her speech. And ugh, it was lovely. She opened up about how transformative an experience this is and TBH, given the jury was also in tears, I think she sealed her own fate. With that the tribe voted, no idols were played – despite a nice little fake out from Lauren – before sweet Lauren was booted to join the jury.
As she arrived at Ponderosa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that not only would her boys be proud of her, but so will everyone watching at home. There is something magical about watching Survivor and see people like Lauren – and everyone else that has ever doubted themselves before arriving on the island – embrace island life and thrive. And that makes her more than worthy of a triumphant Lauren Breakfast Wrarpe.
Breakfast is already my favourite meal of the day, but this little number is so good it will quickly make a lover out of its biggest doubters. Sweet, salty and dripping in cheese, like Veronica’s Closet, it’s got everything.
Enjoy!
Lauren Breakfast Wrarpe Serves: 2.
Ingredients 8 rashers streaky bacon 4 pork sausages 2 tbsp butter 6 eggs kosher salt and pepper, to taste ¼ cup Tomatoni Braxton Relish 4-8 slices butternut pumpkin, roasted 8-12 slices vintage cheddar 4 slices pineapple 4 tortillas
Method Heat a skillet and fry the bacon and sausages – the former to taste, based on your passion for crispiness. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel.
In the same skillet over medium heat, melt the butter until foamy while you whisk the eggs in a jug with a good whack of salt and pepper. Add the eggs to the pan, sweeping across from edge to edge sporadically as it slowly cooks. Once they have just set, remove from heat.
To assemble, smear each tortilla with some Tomatoni Braxton Relish. Top with the pumpkin, cheddar, pineapple, bacon, sausage and finally the egg. Wipe the skillet clean and return to the heat. Roll the wraps to enclose and place in the pan, sealed side down, and toast for a couple of minutes. Flip and cook for a further minute.
Remove from the pan, slice and then devour. Like the boss that you and Lauren are.
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Previously on All Stars Ru kicked off the season, ominously announcing that there is a new twist. However, left the girls hanging for the rest of the episode. Not wanting to wait around to find out, Jimbo and Kandy quickly formed an alliance, looping in Heidi as they were all tour buddies. After a double-runway mini challenge, the dolls formed girl groups for their mainstage debut. While Jaymes didn’t nail the choreo, she proved herself a star, though it was Kahanna who proved to have the biggest glow up, snatching the first victory. On the flipside, Darienne couldn’t sell her lack of choreo while Monica got stuck in her nerves, leading to them landing in the bottom. Kahanna was gagged to learn that Aja was her lip sync assassin, who promptly slayed the game leaving the girls to send home poor Monica.
Though we learnt her departure also made her the first doll eligible to win the online Fame Games, where the eliminated queens compete for $50K for having the best unused look of the season.
Backstage the dolls were broken hearted as they read sweet Monica’s farewell message, though TBH, Kahanna could barely contain her joy at being seen by not just the judges but her sisters. She then pulled the lip stick out of her titty to share that she also would have sent Monica home. Jimbo then suggested Darienne should count the other girls’ lip sticks, discovering three people joined Monica to vote for Darienne. Kandy immediately copped to it, saying that Monica’s story broke her heart and as such, she was compelled to save her. Quickly leading to Lala and Jaymes using that same excuse. Alexis produced the girls to talk about the Fame Games, with Kandy just glad all the eliminated girls get to show off their looks after working so hard. While Mrs. Kasha Davis was just glad to have a back-up $50K, though Jaymes assured us she only cares about the main prize.
The next day the dolls were thrilled to be back for another week within Mama Ru’s womb, which is the Werk Room, if MKD is to be believed. Speaking of Ru, she dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be starring in the new sketch show RDR Live. Which yes, will be performed live on the mainstage. After Mama disappeared, the dolls sat down to read through the script and fight for their rolls. Alexis and Darienne fell into playing Jersey Girl Michelle fan-girls, Jessica and Jimbo calmly snatched the gardening hookers, before Naysha, Heidi and Lala fought over the two news anchor roles, with Naysha eventually calmly taking the leftover role. And while she told the girls she could shine in any role, she was also pissed.
Everyone split up to read through their scenes with Jaymes obviously starring – we saw The Bitch who Stole Christmas, after all – while Naysha was on the struggle bus. Thankfully Jaymes was a good sister, telling her to speed up the dialogue to keep the jokes flowing. Jessica and Jimbo were living their slutty best lives, while Darienne and Alexis were just eerily Jersey and perfect. Ru returned with the iconic Bobby Moynihan with Jessica and Jimbo essentially told they were hilarious perfection, whether they had been out of the Werk Room for 13 years or just one. Kahanna, Heidi and Lala were up next, with Kahanna triggered since she was first eliminated in an episode Bobby judged, while Heidi whistled her way through the kiki, so you know that is all it will take to delight Ru.
Elimination Day arrived with Jaymes opening up about how she used to dream of being on SNL, while Lala was just hoping for some acting challenge rudemption after bombing all of them on her OG season. Jimbo checked in on Naysha to see how she felt about taking the back-up role, with Kandy covertly turning talk to how they will vote. Once again she admitted to feeling bad for Monica, though kind of regrets her vote given she was definitely the worst in the challenge, while Naysha admitted she needs to feel excited about seeing you again if she wants to keep you around. Naysha then identified Heidi, Alexis and Jimbo as her biggest threats. While Kandy, on the other hand, said it is a shame Jimbo has to go home this week, though, as Jimbo giggled. Lala meanwhile pulled Heidi aside to float the idea of forming an alliance and well, you know she was soft, supple and keen.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by superstar Robin Thede as Jaymes, Naysha, Heidi and Lala kicked off the show and well, it is clear Jaymes is a star as she dominated everyone. Kandy was cute as the host while MKD owned every damn moment, but it was Jimbo and Jessica who got the most laughs. Specifically Jimbo who just plays horny bimbo so damn well. The news section was a bit of a bust – particularly Kahanna’s cat – though Heidi’s personality carried them through. While Darienne and Alexis were horrifically perfect from start to finish. As was Lala fake playing the saxophone, but only that.
On the Net Gala runway Naysha was stunning in a shimmering, black, punk netted gown, Jaymes was a bright, glam 60s delight with her hair, catch-ed in a net. Kandy served avant garde in tulle, MKD gave butterfly lady in a children’s fantasy movie, Jimbo went inter-net, as a robot influencer and ugh, it was GOOD. Jessica Wild was stun-ning as the apparatus that MKD was keeping her caught butterflies, Heidi gave rocker realness, Lala served only sex, Kahanna gave aquatic queen, in aqua, Darienne gave the sexiest basketball and Alexis was the belle of the ball in black and nude.
Kandy, MKD, Jessica, Lala, Darienne and Alexis were sent to safety before Naysha was praised for giving another stunning look, despite it being understated. While Michelle felt her timing was off in the challenge. Jaymes on the other hand was beloved for all that she did this week, then Jimbo got the same thing but just a little better. Heidi too was beloved for carrying the news section and giving such a bold fashion moment and growing from her first season, while poor Kahanna’s runway was beloved though she was read for being bland in the sketch. Ultimately it was Jimbo that took out her first win of the season while Naysha and Kahanna landed in the bottom two and were up for elimination. Which, duh, since they were the only ones with negative critiques.
Backstage the safe girls were thrilled to relax, while MKD opened up about how much fun she had in the challenge. Alexis and Kandy praised her for being such a star and radiating joy before Kandy praised our Jersey Girls for being ridiculous and fun. Talk turned to who they think will take the win with them unable to pick between Heidi and Jimbo, while they all agreed Naysha is in the bottom with Kahanna. Lala asked the dolls if they have ever considered getting bodywork done rather than padding, before Jessica changed the subject, admitting to having a little crush on Alexis. And gurl, you can do better. The tops and bottoms joined the fun, with Jimbo giddy to have taken out a win before the dolls focused on our poor bottoms. Kahanna was feeling triggered given she was eliminated in the second episode on her OG season, specifically in an acting challenge.
As she went to sob, Naysha broke down with the girls before Jimbo pulled her aside to plead her case. She assured our Canadian icon that she is not done with the competition and she knows she has more to show. While Heidi got her potato titties out. Naysha rejoined the girls where she reiterated she has so much more to show and that she needs to stay in the competition. Kahanna meanwhile told Jimbo she knows she didn’t do a good job in the challenge, though she also knows it isn’t her time. Particularly with a win under her belt. Which she doubled down on with the girls, before sweet Heidi led the dolls in a toast
With that everyone voted, Jimbo burping through her confessional, before she took her place on the mainstage as Ru gagged and scalped her to reveal this week’s assassin is her UK vs the World sister, Pangina. And do you even need me to wait to confirm what we all know, Pangina won. Though let’s just say Jimbo still turned a show, in her own way, to Cyndi Lauper’s She Bop. Since the song is horny and so is she. But did I mention Pangina? She gave comedy, she gave tricks, she gave emotion and didn’t even appear to break a sweat as Ru crowned her the winner before she sent Naysha packing into the Fame Games.
As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug – those sweet zaddy shoulders – assuring her that while she only managed to survive two episodes, she still managed to show her growth in that time. And that she more than deserved her Miss Continental crown. Her make-up is flawless, her looks are always perfection and girl can turn a show, it is just, tragically, she got a bad run of challenges for her skill set. Which seemed to be all it took to cheer her up – I mean, it is only episode two but we have a front runner for the Fame Games, no? – though I’d argue my Chorizo and Nayshacken Alfredopez Pizza contributed too. (After apologising for cursing her).
The spicy chorizo and the creamy-cheesiness of the alfredo just go perfectly together, so by the time you pop them on a crunchy little pizza with some sweet chicken, well, you’re in heaven.
Enjoy!
Chorizo and Nayshacken Alfredopez Pizza Serves: 2-4.
Ingredients 1 base as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor 200g roast chicken breast, shredded 2 tbsp unsalted butter ½ cup chicken stock ½ cup thickened cream 1 ⅓ cups parmesan, grated kosher salt and pepper, to taste 1 cup mozzarella, grated 1 chorizo, cut into coins Michelle Branch Dressing and chopped parsley, to serve
Method Prep the base as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 200°C.
Pop the butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat and cook, stirring, until melted. Whisk in the stock and cream and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes, or until it has started to thicken. Remove from the heat and whisk in the parmesan and half the mozzarella, before seasoning to taste.
Roll out the dough and spread with some of the alfredo sauce, followed by the chorizo, chicken, mozzarella and a little more alfredo. Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden and bubbling.
Remove from the oven and drizzle with the ranch and sprinkle with some parsley. Then serve and devour triumphantly, knowing you’ll always be a Miss Continental. Even if, like me, it is because of your passion for cuppa soup.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Simon broke down after voting out his friend Jordie, which annoyed the hell out of Liz, who was actually aligned with Jordie. Obviously Nina saw the growing tension, getting into Liz’s ear and making an alliance to go to the end with her. And even Sam became likeable, after announcing that he too wanted to align with Liz. At the immunity challenge, Shonee and George were gutted to learn about the Jordie boot, so hilariously threw the challenge in an obvious fashion. Since everyone thought Flick was given Simon’s immunity idol, the OG Villains decided to vote for Ben given it was unlikely they’d play it for him. Which was the correct assumption as Flick was crushed to learn the idol she played for Matt was a fake – and that she was potentially played – while Ben was tragically booted from the game.
Back at camp Flick was well and truly feeling like a goose, though Matt was feeling good that she at least wanted to protect him. George asked her for the background on everything that went down, with Flick immediately assuming Simon was coming for her as revenge for their first season. And given George is iconic, he obviously agreed with her as the new Heroes tribe all raged about how terrible of a player Simon is. And you best believe Flick is planning to channel a little bit of George at the next challenge and completely blow up his game.
The next day Flick was still completely enraged, assuring George that she will never work with Simon ever again. They spoke about how stupid his plan was to give a fake idol, with Flick explaining that Shaun had even seen the idol and didn’t realise it was fake. Which led to them all explaining it isn’t hard, given what David did to him in his first season. Knowing the merge was imminent, George realised he needed to pull in another person and as such, approached Matt to come over to the Villains and take control. And while Matt didn’t immediately sign up for it, he did say that if he aligns with them, you best believe he is with them till the end. Matt then asked who would be the first target if he joined them, with Shonee smartly telling him they would vote out whoever he wanted. Oh and then when Matt proposed he bring one other person with him, Shonee agreed a buy one get one free would be ok to her. Like an icon.
Over at the Villains they were blissfully unaware that Simon was about to be destroyed, as Hayley diligently worked while Simon felt he was living the hero’s life. Since he gave up the idol and showed he was a man of his word and now, he will live out his dream and make the merge. And oh god, I feel bad for him. Liz meanwhile was thrilled to have secured a majority on the tribe alongside Nina, Dave and Sam, with Simon the number one target on her hitlist. And she is ready to give him a reality check ASAP. She pulled him aside to show off her idol, asking if he would be willing to show his and instead of saying he gave it away, he told her he isn’t sure he can trust her enough to do that. She then immediately called him out for giving up his idol and turning on Jordie and let’s just say, he could not handle it.
Liz ventured back to camp as Simon tried to clear the air, while she straight up destroyed him, asking him to explain what happened to the idol while everyone in camp watched just how good she can be. Concerned about how angry she was with Simon, Dave approached her to check in and see how she was doing, unsure how to manage her emotions should they return to tribal council. And while he pushed for Simon to go, she pointed out that nobody trusts him or wants to work with him, and as such, getting rid of a real threat like Hayley makes even more sense.
The tribes came together with JLP at the beach where the new Villains spoke about how glad they were to see Ben go – fucking vom – before Flick agressively came for Simon. Much to his absolute shock. As everyone turned on him, he tried to reiterate how he believed it was an idol with George and Flick calling him out for lying before George pointed out that Simon has no idea what is going on. And Shaun got played by being handed a fake idol not once, but twice.
As is becoming tradition, let’s get back to the reward challenge though, where the tribes would face off one on one to climb a net and grab a ring before trying to land it on a post, with the first tribe to 3 winning a massive Chinese banquet. First up were Matt and Shaun with the latter making quick work of things and taking out the first point for the Villains. Stevie was up next against Liz and while the Olympian was first to the net, Stevie took out the lead and scored the point without even wearing his glasses. Like an icon. Simon and George then faced off in a grudge match, with Simon getting to an early lead before knocking off his ring and allowing George to toss it off course. To quote JLP, it became the battle of the tossers with Shonee pointing out Simon has it in the bag. And he did, after throwing George’s ring off the course to boot. Next up were Sam and Flick, with Flick using the time to suggest the Villains throw the next immunity challenge to get rid of Simon because he is a snake and ugh, I love her. Oh and then Sam won the reward for the Villains. Eventually.
Back at camp the Villains were gagged to see just how epic their banquet was as they filled up their plates with food as everyone joked about the fortune cookies having a clue to the hidden immunity idol. Which you know will be the case. Everyone went quiet as they smashed their food before Sam – again, do I love him? – asked if they should address the Simon shaped elephant in the room, with him immediately copping to the fact he just assumed it was an idol without paperwork. And while nobody believed him, I feel bad, because he can’t help being trolled by production. He apologised for the situation – his stupidity – while Liz said that she was told it just looked like a piece of wood. While everyone looked completely enraged, as Shaun spoke about how gutted he was for Flick, given it could have humiliated her. Simon tried to play it cool and offered a chance for everyone to talk to him, with Sam admitting he probably would have been fooled too and while he assured them it was done for the betterment of the tribe, they clearly didn’t buy it.
While Simon tried to apologise to everyone, Sam reminded him he probably should be apologising to Flick. Shaun though wisely pointed out to us that he swore on his kids life in exchange for an idol and since it wasn’t one, the deal is off. And since the new Heroes want him gone, he got to work rallying everyone to throw the challenge and make their dreams come true.
The tribes reconnected with JLP for the immunity challenge where one on one they would race out to a station to memorise symbols and recreate the sequence, with the first tribe to three taking out immunity. After Simon sat out – what, bro?! – Shaun elected to face off against George with Shaun pretending to be stupid long enough to let George take out the first point. Next up Liz – out of the loop – tied things up against Shonee before Hayley took things slowly against Stevie, who put the Heroes out in front once again. As Flick and George quietly whispered about the Villains clearly throwing it. Oh and then Nina and Gerry faced off, with King Gerry taking out the win. Just as everyone but Simon wanted.
Back at camp the tribe danced around the fact they threw the challenge, with Hayley thrilled by how easy it will be to get rid of Simon. Sam being Sam, he checked in with Simon to talk feelings as Shaun, Dave, Nina and Hayley caught up about splitting the vote between Simon and Liz, with a single vote thrown on Sam for safety. Simon caught up with Shaun, happy to offer himself up as the sacrificial lamb in a split between himself and Liz. And while he was nervous, he knew he had to roll with it if he wanted to last much longer in the game. But obviously, Simon gonna Simon, pulling Liz aside to see what she knew, with her simply suggesting he look for a real idol. Hayley and Sam meanwhile caught up, with the latter suggesting someone else needs to have a vote put on them, worrying that it would once again be him.
As such, Sam caught up with Shaun to see what was happening and somehow, he saw it was all bullshit. He then pulled Nina aside to see what was actually happening, given Shaun’s story wasn’t adding up. With Nina quickly spilling the beans on the plan for Sam to be the sacrificial lamb should both the OG Villains have an idol, before the duo flipped the script on Hayley and locked in a vote for their secret alliance with Dave and Liz to get rid of the only winner on the cast. Nina pulled Liz aside to tell her Shaun and Hayley’s plan, which she was obviously not keen on, so she immediately locked in Nina and Sam’s plan to blindside Hayley instead.
At tribal council Simon spoke about how terrified he was after being destroyed by Flick and Co, before questioning JLP on what exactly he pulled out of the cookie jar. With Jonathan thrilled to point out he only found a clue to which coconut had an idol under it. With Hayley wisely asking if that meant the idol had already been found. Thankfully for Simon – if you’re a fan – he felt vindicated that the producers confirmed he didn’t do it to spite anyone. Liz spoke about how tight the OG Heroes are and how disappointed she was to not be able to find an in, as David winked at her for playing the part so well. Simon turned things back to himself, pointing out he is now a gun for hire and as such, people need to use him when they can, rather than sending him out. While Shaun pointed out that both Simon and Liz add value to them. Sam spoke about how shocked he was to receive votes at the last tribal council, admitting that it makes him question his place in the tribe if they were willing to take the risk. While Liz just wasn’t sure if she could trust things enough not to play her idol.
Right on cue, JLP announced that this tribal council had a spoil and things would play out a little differently, as he wheeled out the Heroes before announcing that the Villains had a single opportunity to mutiny. One by one, they would go up to vote and if they wanted the shot, they were to write down their name, if not, they do nothing. If there is one name in the urn, they mutiny but if there are multiple – or none – they have to draw rocks to decide who goes. Liz pretty much signalled she is ready to go back to her friends, while Simon desperately wanted to take a shot at safety while David pointed out that it is a bad idea, since they hate him. Shaun meanwhile was busy whispering, suggesting if he goes over, it could be enough to win some people back. With that the tribe voted and Liz took the opportunity, while whispering to Nina about how they are still tight and she will fight for them to get all the intel.
The next day Stevie and Gerry bonded over being hard of hearing and enjoying being able to listen to people on their terms. Meanwhile the Spice Girls reunion tour was in full swing as Shonee and Liz went bathing in the ocean, holding each other close and living their best lives. And well, Shonee was feeling like she and George are particularly unstoppable. The trio hung out in the shelter, speculating whether a merge was imminent or whether they would get lucky enough to send the Villains back to tribal council one last time. Though when Liz told George that should the previous tribal council had played out, Hayley would have been blindsided, George was nervous about them returning given he knows it is better for both of their games if he and Hayley work together.
Flick meanwhile was feeling well and truly on the outs, but bless, she got to work bonding with Liz and working her social game a little bit. Liz boldly asked who she was working with on the original Heroes tribe and given Flick somehow found out who Liz had been working with, she opened up about vibing with Sam, Nina and Dave. And what do you know, just like that, Flick had almost worked her way into the girl gang. That is until she approached George and suggested she work with the Spice Girls to take control at the merge. He then pulled Gerry aside to fill him in on Flick’s powers and suggested they need to get rid of her ASAP, not just to keep Shiz in their pocket but also protect Hayley on the other side. So basically, we’re looking at another thrown challenge, this time going back to the new Heroes.
The tribes reunited with Jonathan for a massive challenge for a trip to the Survivor sandwich shop, where they would pull a cart through a series of obstacles to collect balls before shooting them into three baskets held up by their tribemates. Obviously the Villains got out to an early lead, though the Heroes managed to stay surprisingly close on their tails. Until the ramp happened, where the Heroes straight up got stuck and allowed the Villains to power ahead and start shooting their baskets before the Heroes even crossed the ramp. Oh and then Dave, a professional athlete, promptly landed ball after ball and took out the win for the Villains. As George warned Hayley that Nina had been gunning for her at the last tribal council. So you know shit is about to hit the fan.
We followed the Villains off to the reward where we learnt that, as is oft the case, the tribe would each go to the sandwich bar one at a time with the order decided by consensus. So yeah, obviously there is an advantage hidden there. And while Nina asked to go first, Hayley wisely said sticks is the fairest way to play things. Which obviously scared Nina, given she saw George whispering to Hayley after the challenge and didn’t want her anywhere near the start if she was nervous about being blindsided. While she got lucky with Shaun picking the shortest stick, Hayley was second and after Shaun came back empty handed – though full – Hayleyhad hope. Sadly for her, she also found nothing, as did everyone that came after until Sam trashed things and confirmed that maybe there really was nothing hidden there this time.
Meanwhile over with the Heroes, Matt watched on as the girls frolicked in the ocean, wary of the way Flick had weasled her way into their alliance. As such, he knew he desperately needed to make a final pitch to join the alliance ahead of her, pulling George aside to sell himself as the ultimate spy come the merge. And obviously pledge his undying loyalty to George and Gerry. Giving George the magic 7 people needed to take control. And oh God, do I ship this alliance?
The tribes came together for the latest immunity challenge – the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours – where everyone would have to hold a sandbag tethered to a trough above their head, with the last tribe standing high and dry winning immunity. Oh and one person on each tribe would race to solve a puzzle, with the first to finish getting the chance to kick someone out of the lineup from the opposing tribe. Everyone took their places as Stevie and Nina raced to finish the puzzle and while Nina was calm and methodical, Stevie was messy and a little bit chaotic. And while his tribe tried to keep him focused and upbeat, the writing was on the wall as they braced for Matt to be kicked out of the challenge. Which Nina did without hesitation after demolishing the puzzle, as Liz took on the second bag. After ten minutes, it started to rain making it even harder for everyone to hold on to the bags as Liz and Flick desperately tried to hold strong. Before they dropped after 20 minutes, sending the Heroes back to tribal council.
Back at camp the mood was decidedly sombre as Stevie apologised for bombing the puzzle, while George admitted to us that he isn’t overly upset, giving he can get rid of Flick and maintain control coming into the merge. He pulled Gerry aside to reiterate how important it is to get rid of her so they can topple the Heroes, with Gerry assuring him that he is positive that Matt is on their side. George then caught up with Stevie who was thrilled that Flick was the target, though assured him it was important that Shonee and Liz don’t find out how close they’ve grown to Matt. Which seems like a little misstep, but whatever. George caught up with Shiz, with the girls obviously suggesting they get rid of Matt with George trying to explain that from his experience with Flick, she won’t actually have their back long term and it is safer for all of them if they get rid of her now.
Not being her first rodeo, Flick realised that nobody was talking to her and as such, she knew that her name was being thrown around. She decided to address it head on, pulling George aside and asking him what the plan is and while he assured her Matt was the target, she still felt uneasy. Uneasy, but not exactly sure what she could do to change anything. Aside from pulling the girls aside and pitching her case to them. She reiterated that Matt is definitely going to flip back to the OG Heroes as soon as possible, so she would love to work with them to get rid of him as she will stay loyal. And she and Liz have the same friends in the OG Heroes tribe. As the girls tried to convince George that she was an asset, Flick approached them to try her luck herself before Shonee wandered off with her. Leaving Liz to point out to George that she also doesn’t want to get rid of any more women yet. And after she couldn’t convince him to change his mind, she walked off, leaving George very nervous about pushing too hard to get rid of Flick, whether it means he is breaking up the band at the same time.
At tribal council Liz spoke about how thrilled she was to be reunited with her allies, while Flick admitted she feels like how Liz was feeling at the Villains tribe, well and truly at the bottom. Just like Matt. Stevie meanwhile was comfortable with this alliance, emphasis on this, which should be a warning to Shiz. Shonee spoke about how the differing opinions within alliances can be frustrating, however George tried to remind everyone that they, as a tribe, need to focus on having the strongest chance come the merge. While Liz tried to remind him that sometimes, you need to bend a little. Matt meanwhile laid his cards on the table, assuring everyone that he doesn’t want to take advantage of cracks and instead, work together and go far.
Flick meanwhile gave her hail mary plea, telling the OG Villains that she definitely has the best shot at pulling in the numbers they need from the other tribe. And she loves the girls and told George that she finally wants to work with him to boot. Gerry meanwhile was having none of it, telling her that he was screwed by the Heroes once and he knows they are going to want to pull Flick back in. As he and Flick spoke, George and Shonee whispered about the vote, with Liz telling Shonee to tell him that if he refuses to budge from Flick, she will give her her idol. And while he told her it was a waste, she was firm that she will be protecting her. This spooked George, who asked to talk to Gerry, telling him that the girls will play an idol to protect Flick and as such, they need to pick Matt or Stevie to go. And ugh, Gerry chose Stevie to be sacrificed, just as Shonee told Stevie how gorge he was looking tonight.
George returned to the group, whispering to Shiz that he would be willing to get rid of Stevie as a compromise. Which they quickly agreed to, as Stevie spoke about how difficult a vote it would be, given he has genuinely grown to love everyone. With that the tribe finally voted, Liz wisely held on to her idol and the OG Spice Girls – and I’m including Gerry in that – banded together to blindside Stevie from the game. And ugh, he was absolutely gutted. After quietly making his way to Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him that despite just missing the merge, he still played a very strong game and sadly was just struck by a stray bullet. Which had him feeling ok before he became positively jubilant upon seeing the massive plate of Stevie Bakhouw Wrapped Franks.
While it is kind of difficult to call this a recipe – given it is so simple – there is no denying these are a delicious little snack. Sweet and salty, they go well at a little party, celebrating game day – aka Rhianna’s recent halftime show – or my fave, as a breakfast snack when you had too much to drink at the aforementioned party.
Cut the bacon rashers in half and wrap around the chipolatas, either securing with a toothpick or placing them join-down on a lined baking sheet.
Transfer the baking sheet to the oven and cook for about 20 minutes, or until cooked through and crisp.
Serve piping hot with your favourite sauces, for optimal devouring conditions.
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Previously on Australian Survivor we witnessed a tribal council so epic, I don’t even understand how we attack recapping it. Before we got to that point, Gerry survived his 48 hours at the Villains tribe before opting to return to the Heroes, despite not really vibing with them. The Villains then went on to lose another immunity challenge with Simon locking in the numbers to get rid of George as soon as they returned to camp. Sadly for him, Jordie was ready to make a move on Simon and get rid of him and his attitude, given it was way too toxic for most of the tribe. While everything looked set to send Simon out of the game with an (alleged) idol in his pocket, JLP surprised everyone with an individual immunity challenge at tribal council, which Simon promptly won. With his back against the wall, George blew everything up, telling Simon that Jordie had betrayed him and told everyone about his idol, while he would be playing his idol for himself. He then fractured Simon and Stevie’s bond, begging Simon to save sweet Stevie by playing his idol for him, and after breaking Stevie’s heart by refusing, the Spice Girls gagged the tribe by voting out Fraser instead.
The next day things were, how do you say, tense? Except for Stevie and Shiz, as he pulled the girls aside to share how grateful he is to them for saving him as he broke down in tears and ugh, it was beautiful. And what a full circle moment, since Shonee blindsided him their first season and he spent the first week hungry for revenge.
Everyone came back together, hanging out in silence before Simon felt slapping Jordie over the back of the head was the best way to de-escalate the tension. Jordie once again proved to be mature, biting his tongue before Simon finally asked him to talk and then promptly berated Jordie for making the choices he made. While all Jordie knew was that he was absolutely screwed, though given he has Alex’s sister/Jay’s ex Sam Frost waiting for him at home, pregnant with their first child he has all the motivation he needs to dig deep and embrace the chaos. As such, Jordie caught up with Shiz by the well to bond over the trauma of tribal council while Shonee admitted that they need to work together because she actually trusts him.
Oh and then our Queen straight up pocketed a hidden immunity idol without a note or anyone noticing, despite it being right in front of all of them.
We did a check in with the Heroes where the tribe was so zen, they were straight up playing cricket and living their best lives. Gerry however wasn’t loving it, admitting that he only came back to the tribe for Sharni given they are so tight, however he knows he feels better among the Villains. The tribe caught up to grill him and while they were trying to be chill, Paige grew pretty tense in her line of questioning and as such, Gerry let slip that while he is with them, if they cross him, he will fight back. He then called out Sam for his stupid comment at tribal before Benjamin asked him why he voted for him, with Gerry pointing out he has a silver tongue. Which led to Ben asking him what, if anything, he told the Villains with Gerry iconically pointing out he didn’t really need to say anything, given the Villains cantell the alphas are on the top.
Benjamin admitted that he was grateful for Gerry pointing it out, given it clarified a few things in his head and ideally some others. Since he knows he is on the bottom, and wants to get himself into a better position. As he was whipping up food for the tribe, he found the Heroes version of Simon’s non-idol and while he was smart enough to realise that without a note, he has nothing, he viewed it as a clue and got to work hunting. All around the coconut hidden near their well. And damn, please find it my King – I need mum and dad to both jag idols in the one episode.
The tribes joined Jonathan in the jungle for the latest immunity challenge where Simon and George aired their dirty laundry for the Heroes. After George finished things by letting them know Simon still has an idol, JLP announced that in pairs the tribes would hold three blocks off the ground between their feet with the last tribe to have a block elevated taking out the win. So yeah, congrats Villains, Shonee has you! But if you want to talk about the challenge, David and Sam, Sharni and Paige and Ben and Gerry held up the blocks for the Heroes, while Jordie and Simon were paired, as were George and Stevie while Shiz were clearly poised to be the winning pair.
Nearly instantly Gerry dropped out for the Heroes while Simon fought back tears as he dropped after ten minutes. George and Stevie soon followed, leaving Shiz to fight for their safety while the Heroes had two pairs going strong. And by strong, not really as Sam dropped leaving Sharni and Paige to fight for the Heroes. After an hour Paige developed a cramp and started to hold back tears as Shonee calmly told Liz to keep it together. JLP noticed our Queen was holding firm, asking how she went last time she did this challenge with Shonee pointing out she did two hours and she could easily do it again. Not that she needed to, as Sharni and Paige dropped after an hour as Liz told the Heroes they have plenty of excess meat they can cut off. Before she and Shonee held the idol arm in arm and skipped out of the jungle.
While in contrast, Paige bitterly whispered to anyone that would listen about it being Sharni that dropped the block, not her. And who cares, you lost?
Back at camp Flick tried to lift everyone’s spirits, congratulating them on fighting so hard while Sharni agreed that when pain comes into it, it is all mental. Everyone split up to start scrambling, with Paige’s approach being to burst into tears to Nina, Flick and Hayley. And while they all tried to make her feel better, they also didn’t care who dropped the block, just that they were going to tribal council. The meat heads meanwhile quickly locked in the vote for the only queer, minority male on the tribe with Sam pretending it is because he is shifty. Which, ugh. They then loudly – and TBH, aggressively – pulled Gerry over, with Sam essentially telling him that he has to vote with them given he is close to the bottom. They locked in Sharni too, though warned her Gerry could be collateral damage should Ben play an idol. While they looped in the rest of the girls on the plan, Sam was shockingly astute enough to be nervous that said plan could easily fall apart.
Hayley caught up with Shaun only to be interrupted by Ben and while they pretended they were keen to get rid of Gerry, Ben knew he was in trouble and got back to hunting. Before finally, FINALLY, jagged the legit hidden immunity idol. And just like that, I can breathe. Sadly for him, it was all caught by Matt. Who immediately took the information back to Sam. Which, eyeroll. The duo then went person to person, telling them this means they should stick to the plan. Sadly when the information got back to Sharni, she only just learnt that it was a confirmed split vote on Gerry and as such, was not on board. Knowing he didn’t exactly want to burn the idol too soon, Ben caught up with Paige, who once again accused Sharni of throwing the immunity challenge. And as such, Ben had some leverage he felt he could use that night.
At tribal council Paige continued to push the narrative that she didn’t drop the block as Sharni started to straight up shoot her daggers while Flick cautioned Paige to hold her tongue. While Sharni calmly spoke about being super comfortable in the challenge, she then pointed out that Paige is playing a blame game when they should have celebrated the fact they made it an hour. While Paige denied blaming Sharni, Ben spoke up and called Paige on her lie and that she straight up accused Sharni of throwing the challenge. When she once again denied it, Ben got up to talk to the returnee females to tell them Paige was right and that they should change the vote from him to Sharni instead. He then flagged it with Shaun, while Sharni spoke about her disappointment about how things are blowing up on her.
Gerry spoke about feeling like he hasn’t had much luck with the Heroes, while Sharni spoke about the fact she has been nothing but honest with everyone and has been upfront about the fact she won’t write Gerry’s name down. Benjamin then pointed out that it is important that honesty and loyalty doesn’t make them naive before making a pitch to the tribe that they are now coming up to an important phase of the game and as such, they need hardened players around to survive further. Meaning this honest, loyal game isn’t really going to serve them any longer.
With that the tribe voted, Ben wisely played his idol – to mine and Hayley’s delight – leaving Sharni to tragically be eliminated. Much to Paige’s shit eating grin and my utter heartbreak for mother. As soon as she arrived at Loser Lodge I pulled her in for a massive hug and shared how disappointed I was that she and Ben ended up on opposite sides of the vote, given Paige would have been such a lovely pre-swap boot. But alas, she always has her successful acting career which I see prospering after she joins the latest Neighbours reboot. Alongside me, of course! Which is what I pitched to her as we smashed a freshly made Sharlami Vinson.
I know, I know – making salami from scratch is a big ask, when it is so easy to buy from the deli. But it is something I encourage everyone to try at least once in their life for a special occasion like a date with Sharns. Spicy, smokey and packed full of flavour, this simple little number is a delight.
Method Combine the Morton Cure and salt with two tablespoons of water to dissolve before adding the pepper, mustard seed, chilli and smoke.
In a large bowl, combine the mince with the spicy cure mixture and scrunch with your hands until it has come together.
Pop two long pieces of cling film on the bench and form the meat into a firmly packed cylinder in the middle of each. Tightly wrap with the cling to form a salami shape. Wrap the cylinders in foil before transferring to the fridge to chill for 24 hours to cure.
Once it has adequately cured, preheat the oven to 160C.
Carefully remove the salami from the wrapped and place on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven to bake for about an hour, or until cooked through. Then either allow to cool completely or devour it still warm.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Gerry joined the Villains as a spy, though after being welcomed so warmly, he embraced his new tribe and well, rose to the top with George and Shiz. After the Heroes narrowly took out immunity – thanks to Benjamin and Paige slaying with some signing to stealthily solve the puzzle – Simon was ready to finally take the shot on George, given he has an immunity idol – lol – and a group of allies behind him to seize power. Sadly, Shonee realised she, Liz and George couldn’t trust Sarah and as such, whipped everyone into a frenzy to take out the swing vote instead of taking a shot, Sarah, who definitely didn’t push Miss Greece down the stairs.
The next day the Heroes were talking about how small their tribe feels without Gerry, while Sharni in particular was still annoyed at how things played out. Despite Sharni loving the idea of playing with loyalty, I live for how annoyed she is at the tribe. Realising she was annoyed, Sam checked in with her with Sharni talking about how desperately she was hoping Gerry survived, knowing it spoke to how strong a game he can play. And how kind he is.
Speaking of Gerry, he was living his best life at the Villains camp, smashing some rice in awe of the waves on their beach. And TBH, he did not really want to go back to his old tribe anymore, given they are so kind and he just clicked with Shonee, Liz and George. This glorious foursome were hunting for wood as Gerry grew more and more nervous about returning to the Heroes, given they stitched him up. Despite the initial purpose being to get goss for the Heroes, he pointed out to his new besties – he is Old Spice in the alliance, FYI – that Simon needs to go ASAP as if he makes the swap, he will immediately align with the alphas running the Heroes and as such, he is down to get rid of him. Though sadly George spoke about it in front of Simon.
As Simon prepared to go for a swim, he could barely hide his disdain for George who was trying to make conversation. As he was chilling out, Liz called his bestie Jordie over to point out what happened, with him realising that his ally is getting way too toxic for the tribe. And that night under the cover of darkness, Jordie and George caught up about how to navigate the escalating tensions, while Jordie shared with us that now just might be the time to play Simon and George off against each other and give the rest of them a break.
The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where the Heroes were delighted to see Gerry had survived the previous tribal council. Well, until JLP got cheeky and offered him the choice between sticking with the Villains and returning to the Heroes in which case they got super awkward, until he opted to return to them. While the Villains were left reeling, Jonathan explained that to win immunity they would face off in trios to push a ball into a goal in the water with the first tribe to two securing victory. First up were Shiz and Simon opposite Flick, Hayley and Shaun, with the Heroes obviously taking out the first point, despite some heroic fighting from Shonee. As George whispered from the sidelines that Simon’s desire to face Shaun is hurting their chances. Jordie, Fraser and George then faced off against Sam, David and Matt with the Heroes quickly scoring immunity despite some epic fighting from George. As Steviemuttered about getting rid of George on the sidelines.
Back at camp the tribe spoke about how disappointed they were to lose Gerry before everything descended into absolute chaos. Simon’s faction were thrilled to be able to take out their biggest nemesis, George. With Simon feeling particularly confident, given he has the idol – he doesn’t – and a loyal bestie in Jordie – debatable. He caught up with Stevie who was thrilled to jump on board getting rid of George while Simon coached him on how to sell his desire to get rid of him to Shiz and George. After thanking Stevie for protecting him after all he has done to protect him, Stevie came up with some codes before they split up to scramble. Stevie went to George to tell him how he is over Simon bossing him around, while Simon caught up with Shiz who questioned why George and Stevie were even talking.
Jordie meanwhile continued to question what is the best path forward given Simon is abrasive and rubbing everyone the wrong way. He approached Fraser and outlined everything, telling him that they now have a decision to make. Ready to lock in with George and Shiz – knowing that joining the alpha alliance would be his undoing – Jordie told them about Simon’s idol, telling them they need to make sure he has no clue about the vote to guarantee he doesn’t play it. After getting Fraser over the line, the group locked in their plan as Liz worried about Simon crying once he is blindsided with an idol. Again. Feeling uber confident, Simon then caught up with George to assure him that he knows they need each other and that Stevie will be going home tonight.
While Shiz spoke about how much they are looking forward to Simon going home.
At tribal council George spoke about how disappointed he was that Gerry left them, despite the Heroes voting him out previously. That being said, he accepts the fact he felt safer amongst a tribe of athletes that consistently win challenges. Which obviously annoyed Simon. As George spoke about wanting to focus on getting rid of the weak, Simon angrily told him he can’t exactly vote for himself, while George calmly thanked him for calling him weak. Liz spoke about being sick of the tension, while Stevie felt something needed to be done while Jordie cautioned everyone needed to come together otherwise they will all be screwed. George meanwhile spoke about how much he achieved in his first seasons and as such, he doesn’t feel like he needs to build a legacy because he already has one while not every returnee can say that.
Growing more irate, Simon sassed out George, asking why he doesn’t want to win, rubbing salt in his wounds for Hayley beating him. Jordie grew more and more exasperated, assuring everyone to trust in the last conversations they had, with Shonee agreeing it was for the best. As they seemingly tried to wrap things up, JLP decided to throw a spanner in the works, announcing that tonight’s tribal council will be a little different as while they are still booting someone from the game, it won’t happen until after they have competed in a little individual immunity challenge.
With that Jonathan and the Villains relocated to a field outside tribal council where they would each race to build poles long enough to release a flint from a post before building a fire big enough to burn through a rope. Simon quickly built his pole, though failed to release his flint as he and George started to bicker. While quietly working away, Shonee made her first attempt before failing as Simon tried again and jagged his flint. As George and Shiz looked ready to murder him, Liz quietly cheered on Jordie, willing him to close the gap and keep the plan from falling apart. Though it was all for nothing as Simon built a large fire and jagged immunity, while George turned his attention to scrambling. As Simon tried to squeak out a tear over how proud he is to win immunity.
After returning to tribal council, George and Shiz went to one corner of tribal council while the rest of the tribe went to another. George told Shiz to join the boys and act like he is going home, while he intended to create war and chaos amongst them. When Shiz approached them however, Simon loudly told them all to go sit down and open it up to the floor instead. While Liz requested he calm down. Simon spoke about his pride at having immunity, particularly since he knows he was likely copping votes tonight. George piped up and said that he was told that Stevie was going home, meaning the plan had clearly changed multiple times. Stevie said that came as a shock to him, while George asked Simon why he was told that plan.
Simon said that he told multiple people different things to keep things from blowing up, while George doubled down on how much Simon throws out way too many options. Stevie questioned why Simon threw out his name ahead of the second tribal council, while Simon desperately tried to assure him they were close and how much he values their friendship. George pointed out that Simon’s attitude shows he takes the game way too personally and he really needs to correct if he wants to last much further. Before ominously pointing out that the numbers will speak loudest tonight.
The groups split up to lock in their plans, with George filling Shiz in on the fact he has an idol and that he will be playing it but making things as uncomfortable as possible before the votes are read. While Simon forced the boys to lock in on George. After returning to their seats, Simon attempted to apologise to Shonee and Liz, with the later pointing out he clearly has no respect for them or their games before he and George grew more and more hostile with each other. That led to Jordie jumping in and reminding them that this is a game and it is meant to be fun, rather than them speaking to each other like absolute trash. To which Jonathan agreed, as George ominously shared that he is looking forward to a little bit of fun.
With that the tribe voted – Simon of all people telling George to treat people with respect – as George pulled out his idol as the last person – Stevie – stood up to vote, leading to laughter from Jordie and Fraser as Simon asked him who was going home, then. He then started taunting Simon, asking if he would be playing his idol to save Stevie and prove whether he is a hero or a villain. Sadly he took it one step further though, pointing out that Jordie is coming for him and told everyone about his idol. Which is worse than what Dani did in their first season, given Jordie pretends to be his bestie. He then told Simon to play his idol for Stevie and prove he is good, before Simon asked Jordie what was true. Jordie admitted to everything, knowing the numbers were against him and shared that he voted against Stevie.
George then double down, telling Simon his smartest move was to play the idol for Stevie and guarantee that one of the people that have been disloyal to him goes home and wake up tomorrow in power with him and Shiz, a clean slate between them and the knowledge that he only has one more traitor to get rid of before they swap. Simon held firm, pointing out that somebody needs to go while George turned his attention to Stevie, apologising and pointing out he desperately wanted to wake up with him tomorrow morning. Simon then offered a heartfelt apology to Stevie who was flabbergasted that Simon had turned on him while George pointed out that he will know who he can trust when he wakes up the next morning.
Which should have been a clue that all was not as it seems as two votes piled up on George – which did not count – and a pair came in for Stevie before George, Shonee and Liz’s votes piled up on Fraser. Brilliantly ruining Simon’s game and locking in Stevie as a number for George. And ugh, it was hard to watch for most of the time, but that was an epic tribal council. As was Stevie telling Simon they are not friends as he tried to apologise.
By the time Fraser arrived at Loser Lodge he was relieved to be away from the drastically escalating tensions, disappointed to be out of the game and a teeny tiny bit excited to be the person going home after such a memorable tribal council. I pulled him in for a hug and assured him that there was honestly nothing he could have done amidst the chaos that had unfolded over the course of the night and as such, he should still be proud of the game he had played. Oh and of course, rest easy knowing that being the person eliminated after the biggest tribal council of the series pretty much guarantees him a second shot. Which cheered him up almost as much as the piping hot Frasausage Melack I whipped up.
While I know a melt is nothing more than a toasted sandie, there is something so soothing about them that I instantly put them on a pedestal over a classic toastie. Though maybe it is because they focus even more heavily on cheese, which is essentially my personality and life at this point. Add in a little sausage and you know I’m in heaven.
Enjoy!
Frasausage Melack Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 2 onions, thinly sliced 1 red capsicum, seeded and sliced 2 tsp chilli flakes salt and pepper, to taste 500g Italian sausage, casings removed 8 slices sourdough ¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain 1 cup provolone cheese 1 cup mozzarella cheese ¼ cup butter
Method Pop the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and saute the onions and capsicums for about ten minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the chilli flakes, season and cook for a further minute or so before removing from the heat.
Shape the sausage meat into four thin patties and add to the still hot pan and cook for a couple of minutes each side until cooked. Remove from heat and wipe out the pan.
To assemble the sandwiches, smear the mayo on each slice of bread before dividing half the cheeses on four of the slices. Top with the onion and capsicum, followed by the patties and the rest of the cheese. Close the sandwiches with the remaining bread and smear some butter on the top of each.
Pop the clean skillet over medium heat again and place the sandwiches buttered side down on the pan and cook for a few minutes. Butter the tops of the sandwiches before flipping and cooking for a further couple of minutes. Serve immediately, cut in half of course, and devour.
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Previously on Survivor, Gabler continued to struggle with the conditions on the island, leading the girls to continue to plot around his idol. Sadly for them, Sami wanted to be the one to talk to him and when told no, he promptly outed all their plans to Gabler. Karla meanwhile found the Beware Advantage and despite initially leaving it, circled back and bamboozled everyone into giving her the beads and jagged herself an idol. After losing another immunity challenge, Vesi decided it was time to start focusing on strength and despite Noelle being on the outs, they banded together to boot Nneka from the game.
Back at camp Noelle quickly rallied everyone around to thank them for saving her, while the tribe assured her that they believe in her and know that things are about to turn around. Despite Cody feeling like they are running dead last. We pivoted to Baka in the early hours of the morning where Gabler was trying to help his tribe out by putting palm frond blankets on them to stay warm but, sadly, only ended up pissing everyone off. And well, that lack of self-awareness kinda had him running dead last in the tribe. Once the sun came up, the tension was palpable as they tried to get the fire going as Gabler and Elie butted heads over building a fire and the size of the fucking sticks used.
Before you even had time to appreciate my Eliza reference, the tribes joined together for the first solo reward of the season where one person from each tribe would knock blocks of a ledge with sandbags and then roll on two blocks to the end of a field, before handing off sandbags to the other three people who each have to land one on a hanging disc. With the winners getting to go to one of the losing camps and looting an item, in addition to ten fish. Cody dominated the first section of the challenge putting Vesi well out in front as Sami tried to nip at his heels and Ryan completely fell out of it. Despite Baka slowly catching up and Coco getting back in the game, Vesi finally landed their third bag and scored the power to loot (and the food).
After farewelling the losing tribes, Noelle bartered with Jeff to trade the fish for fruit and a fishing kit instead, given they still have no fire and therefore can not eat fish. Back at camp they celebrated by eating her success like royalty – RIP, Liz – as they spoke about who should go to the other tribe, with Cody offering to go and cause a little chaos. Which instantly filled Dwight with fear, given Cody is such a wildcard. Talk turned to which camp they should go to, with Baka having the most gear but Coco having the most people and as such, they wanted to hurt them. After locking in Coco, they planned to go after the machete as the most likely way to hurt them. Or at the very least, open them up to negotiate for the reward they really wanted.
The tribe were heartbroken as Cody arrived at Coco, with Cassidy seeing the choice to rob them for what it is and instantly turned on the charm to protect themselves. Cody too was turning on his charm, while Lindsay freaked out at the thought of losing the machete. Thankfully (kinda) James stepped in and started bartering, giving him limes, fishing gear and some root vegetables. And while Karla could see just how badly they played it, the rest of the tribe were grateful he didn’t take the machete. Which was never even Vesi’s plan. But hey, Cody now is in trouble because Queen Karla is out for blood, so it was a messy trip for all of them, I guess.
The tribes rejoined Probst for the next immunity challenge where they would race to knock sandbags off a ledge to find keys, unlock puzzle pieces, drag them under nets and then build a square. Once said square was built, they would then dismantle it and carry the pieces up a cargo net to build a triangle with the last placed tribe heading off to tribal council. Baka absolutely demolished the sandbags and got out to an early lead, while Vesi stayed right on their tail, as Coco brought up the rear. Baka swiftly built their square and got it checked off before moving on to the final puzzle while Vesi trailed behind and Coco grew more and more confused. Eventually all three tribes started work on the triangle before Vesi solved it out of nowhere. Before they got to work helping Baka along to force Coco off to tribal council. Which is exactly what happened. And is oh so shady. And. I. LOVE IT.
Back at camp Coco were frustrated by the fact the other two tribes had banded together to send them to tribal council. When it came to the scramble, Ryan was just trying to protect his ally Geo, who in turn was targeting Cassidy given everyone else has a strong relationship with her but him. Cassidy then approached the girls to lock in the vote against Geo for sassing her out, with James quickly on board. And just like that, it was a done deal.
Well, until Lindsay happened, as she decided it was too easy and started to question why people are still running around and talking. She then approached her allies and confronted them for scrambling without her and not talking to her, which made Karla question whether they should actually turn on her given that paranoia is only going to get worse the further they go along. James tried to pull Lindsay aside to talk some sense into her and calm things down and when it didn’t go well – at all – James was on board to get rid of her. Despite Geo’s growing ego frustrating them.
At tribal council the tribe were gagged to see Jeff and the set with Ryan opening up about how strong they are and how well they are getting along. James jumped in and praised Ryan for being their provider, with Jeff sweetly praising him for embracing the adventure of the game. Lindsay spoke about the fact they know what works for them, well until today, when everyone started to scramble. And then pointedly said that some people didn’t talk to her. While Ryan pointed out she didn’t give the vibe she wanted to speak to him, with Geo admitting that as long as the vote is not on him, he doesn’t really care. Karla meanwhile tried to explain why you have to continue to confirm the plan is still on and nothing has changed, leading to Lindsay admitting that she did that a little too much and may have made her a little paranoid.
Geo admitted that he wanted to make sure his people were calm, which made Cassidy point out that just because it looks calm on the surface, does not mean there isn’t chaos below. James said that he was just trying to stay calm to make others calm, while Cassidy admitted they won’t really know who they can trust until the vote happens. And well, given they were still talking all the way up to leaving for tribal council, Karla felt there were still way too many questions in the air. With that the tribe voted and despite being excited for them to be read, Lindsay was gagged to see that her allies had deserted her and joined Ryan to boot her from the game.
Making her paranoia prophetic, I guess?
Lindsay was well and truly shocked as she made her way to Loser Lodge, unsure whether she was right to be paranoid or if that is what cost her the game. Which obviously meant I kindly stepped in to assure her that she was completely safe until it got to her but given it made for an iconic (flameout) exit, she will have burned a place in the hearts and minds of fans and as such, she is the perfect candidate for a future Second Chances season. And that is the kind of comfort that is only bested by a Lindsay Carmiener Pretzel.
I love buns, and more importantly, sausages in buns, so you know a weiner pretzel is something I love in and around my mouth. A little bit sweet and a whole lot salty, these giant pretzel-pigs-in-blankets are perfection.
Enjoy!
Lindsay Carmiener Pretzel Makes: 8.
Ingredients 1 cup milk 7g dry yeast 3 tbsp packed light brown sugar 2 ¼ cups plain flour 30g butter, softened and diced 1 tsp fine salt 8 hot dog wieners ¼ cup baking soda 1 egg, lightly whisked maldon salt flakes
Method Warm the milk in a saucepan until it is roughly 50C and pour into a large mixing bowl for a stand mixture. Sprinkle in the yeast and leave to bask in the warm milk bath for about 2 minutes before stirring in the brown sugar and 1 cup of the flour. Add the butter and stir into the mix. Add the remaining flour and the fine salt and knead in a stand mixer with a dough hook for 3-5 minutes or until it is smooth yet a little bit sticky. Shape into a ball and leave to prove in a warm place, in a lightly oiled bowl covered with cling wrap for about two to three hours.
While the dough is proving, preheat the oven to 220C.
Punch the dough back and divide into 8 pieces. Roll and stretch each piece with the palms of your hands into a 40cm(ish) rope shape before coiling each around a weiner, pressing together to enclose as you go, leaving just a little tip of weiner at each end. And honestly, I’m not even trying with the innuendo anymore, I just can’t stop. Pop on a lined baking sheet, cover with a tea towel and leave them to prove for 20 minutes or so.
Pop 2L of water in a Dutch oven with the baking soda and bring to a gentle boil. It will bubble easily, so keep an eye on it the entire time. Working two at a time, pop the pretzels in the boiling water and cook for a couple of minutes, flipping once half-way through. Remove with a slotted spoon and return to the baking tray.
Once they are all boiled, brush each with some egg, sprinkle with salt and pop in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from the oven to cool for ten minutes or so before devouring, alongside your favourite condiment.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race fourteen news queens entered the Werk Room, again split into two batches of seven. Unlike last season, Ru got a little bit cheeky and implied that Orion Story and Daya Betty were felled in their respective first episodes. Only to gag the dolls by welcoming them back when everyone came together. The gags kept coming in the third episode as all the queens lined up to select a RuPaul chocolate bar with Ru explaining that after a queen loses a lip sync they would each open theirs. If it is chocolate, they sashay away as normal however if it was golden, they would live to slay another day.
So yeah, Ru is in her Wonka era now.
Sadly for June Jambalaya she did not have a golden ticket, making her the third boot that is the official first boot of the season. She was soon followed out the door by Alyssa before Kornbread’s onkle went cleek and she was medically evacuated. Orion then officially exited the competition before we farewelled Maddy and the lovely and iconic Tranos herself, Kerri Colby – that look, OMG.
After what felt like weeks of non-eliminations and the worst Snatch Game on record, Daya was delighted as Jasmine Kennedie was finally sent packing before Bosco found the golden ticket. As we had another non-elim, Ru got crafting and booted DeJa and Jorgeous in a double elimination. Only to decide that neither Angeria nor Willow deserved to miss out on a place in the finale, giving us our first ever top five.
While poor Angeria was eventually cut on finale night, alongside Daya and Bosco, Willow’s reprieve landed her the crown after a mindblowing lip sync against Camden. And well, I am absolutely thrilled for her.
On paper, Camden may have had the stronger track record but Willow’s consistent place among the top queens and her general star power always made her my favourite. In life and for the crown. I mean, list of ten of the most iconic looks of the season and Willow would be half of them. On top of that she is funny, can dance, is kind and just so damn cool. Which is why she more than deserved the crown and the piping hot Willow Country Poil.
I talk a lot of shit about seafood, particularly crustaceans since we all learned from Drop Dead Gorgeous, you just don’t know when they last cleaned their house. But a good ol’ Low Country Boil is a dish I will gladly make an exception for. Spicy, sweet and wholy life affirming, this southern classic is near perfection.
Enjoy!
Willow Country Poil Serves: 6.
Ingredients 100g old bay or cajun seasoning 2kg small washed potatoes 3 medium red onions, peeled and thickly sliced 1kg smoked pork sausage, cut into thick coins 8 corn ears, cut in half 1.5kg prawns
Method Half-fill a large stockpot with water and stir in the seasoning. Bring to a rollicking boil and add the potatoes to the pot and bring back to the boil, cooking for 5 minutes. Add the onions and sausage and cook for 15 minutes, before adding the corn and cooking for another 10 minutes, or until the potatoes are cooked through. Stir in the prawns and cook until they turn pink, aka are cooked.
Drain the food into a colander, discarding the liquid, and serving on a platter. Or newspaper if you’re less uptight/scared of eating outside due to birds than me.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World, the remaining dolls were cast in the latest rusical, West End Wendys. Well after Jujubee took out her third reading challenge and was given the honour of casting it, before opting to just select her role and let the other girls scrap over them. Despite this fair approach, Baga was very angry about her role because she wanted Juju’s – should have won the reading challenge, no? Despite this, she honestly did a good job, while Jimbo faltered for the first time in the competition while Juju continued to struggle. At the other end of the pack, Pangina and Janey slayed and were deemed the top two of the week, with Juju assuring the latter she still has the fight and can’t go home. Which she didn’t, as Pangina won the lip sync and cut fellow front runner Jimbo.
Backstage the dolls were well and truly gagged by the loss of Jimbo, while Juju was just thrilled – and a little shocked – to have been saved once again. Pangina admitted she is probably the most hated person in Canada right now since she just can’t seem to stop eliminating their queens, while Baga was the angriest person in Britain, ropeable that her bestie was cut despite a stellar track record. When they sat down, Baga confronted Pangina about her choices and while she tried to say it was because Juju did better in the challenge, Baga told us that it was bullshit. Janey meanwhile had selected Jujubee to go, further frustrating Baga given it was the right call and therefore Pangina should just admit why she chose to eliminate Jimbo.
While Mo just questioned what black magic Juju has tapped into to stop the girls from eliminating her. Oh and Baga vowed to get her revenge on Pangina for Jimbo, which could finally make Baga interesting again. Despite my love for Pangina.
Things were far more zen the next day with Pangina proud to have two badges on her chest, though admitted it is a new week and she is nervous starting over again. Almost as a subtle reminder that she chose Jimbo because she only focuses on their last challenge. Blu admitted anyone can be in the bottom at any time with Janey assuring her she is always just safe, so there is no need for Blu to worry about having to send someone home. While Blu didn’t want that storyline, Jujubee admitted she would gladly take the role of the consistently safe queen. While Mo read Baga for wearing a velvet smock, questioning whether it was laundry day in the Chipz household.
Before we could find out why Baga was wearing a repurposed theatre curtain, Ru dropped in to announce that this week the dolls would be playing Snatch Game. This time in a Family Feud style panel instead, with three dolls partnering with Michelle while the others would get to work with Katie Price. Sadly not as Katie Price, played by Bimini Bon Boulash. And as last week’s winner, Pangina could assign everyone’s family. As they sat down to kiki, Mo asked Pangina if she was nervous about Snatch Game while Jujubee just reminded her the job is to make Ru laugh. Nothing more, nothing less. Pangina then grabbed Juju and Baga to join her on the family Price, leaving Janey to worry she left the three weaker ones together to bomb on Team Visage. Even though her plan could backfire and she get overshadowed by her strong sisters.
Ru dropped by to check in with the dolls with Pangina sharing she is going to be playing Mariah Carey and while she doesn’t see herself as a funny queen, she had made Ru laugh before so was starting to feel confident. Janey meanwhile wanted to do tanning mum, though Ru suggested she should do her back-up option James Charles, despite the controversy. After Ru read Juju for doing Liza, Juju opened up about doing Cher and while she isn’t going to be the BEST Cher, she is going to make Ru laugh. Trust and believe.
Mo was up next with Ru reminding her she doesn’t have the best track record in Snatch Game, trying to talk her out of Gordon Ramsey and her back-up option BeBe Zahara, instead pushing for her to do Billy Porter. Aka Broadway Mo. Ru was thrilled to see how Blu would follow up her filthy Mary Berry, with Blu sharing she would be playing Mike Myers as Austin Powers. Ru praised her for being filthy and hilarious, leading to her breaking down over her insecurities in the past and using that filthy humour to distract from her doubts. And well, Baga is going to be playing Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes from Misery and you know she is going to knock it out of the park.
The dolls ventured to the set where Katie Price admitted she just wanted to make Bimini proud – icons support icons after all – while Baga had Ru in hysterics from the very first sentence. Pangina’s Mariah was great while Juju was ridiculous and nothing like Cher, though did have Ru in stitches. Which, again, is all the matters with Snatch Game. Janey started strong while Blu’s busted teeth for Austin Powers were an absolute delight while poor Mo just leant into the word pose and honestly, is Billy Porter just a heightened version of Mo?
Baga was hilariously scary as Kathy Bates, giving us a narrative from start to finish. While poor Pangina seemed bland by comparison when it got to the end, given Juju was as ridiculous as Ginger Minj doing Michelle Visage on Battle of the Seasons. And it was perfect. Poor Janey suffered a similar fate as Pangina given Blu and Mo were bouncing off each other and delighting Ru. Particularly sweet Blu who was just, well, perfection. As was Juju saying Cher was short for Cher-cuterie. But you know, Blu whipped out Dr Evil half way through and threatened that Graham was being held hostage over a hot vat of smegma, so there is no way she is losing.
Elimination Day arrived with Baga ready to claim her first victory, while Pangina gave Juju a kitty bag. I’m not sure whether it was important, but I did enjoy it. Janey asked the girls what they felt about Ru encouraging her to ignore the potential controversy of playing James Charles, which led to Blu vehemently suggesting they all need to stay safe and not piss anyone off on the internet. While Janey encouraged her to acknowledge any controversies that come her way and to power through it. Pangina opened up about being cancelled when she was a judge on Drag Race Thailand, leading to Juju questioning whether comedy has been impacted by cancel culture.
Baga admitted she rarely edits herself, though she has never made jokes that aren’t about her which makes it hard for people to get offended by her. Mo pointed out that some jokes were never funny, they’ve just been allowed to get by until people finally started calling them out while Baga just encouraged everyone to live their lives and make themselves the jokes.
Ru and Michelle were joined on the panel by Clara Amfo and Michelle Keegan as the dolls stomped the Luck be a Lady runway. Blu was up first as a stunning forest green irish leprechaun dame – complete with B Witched quote. I mean, she said THE THING – some people say I look like me dad! Janey was a sexy roulette wheel barbie, Juju was a golden lucky kitty while Mo was perfect as a completely lit up showgirl. Baga was a more literal leprechaun than Blu, while Pangina was the sexiest slot machine ever, complete with coins dripping out of her pussy.
Blu received universal praise for her Snatch Game, particularly for flipping the script in the middle and knowing when to pivot with her humour. Oh and they lived for her runway. Janey’s choice to play James Charles was read given he isn’t really even funny, though everyone agreed she looked stunning. Juju was praised for her choice to be a parody of a parody of Cher and being so fun, while her runway was read for not being clear. Despite the fact she looked stunning. Mo received praise for having fun in Snatch Game, though it was her pink flamingo showgirl that was absolutely beloved. Baga received universal praise for her Snatch Game performance and for doing a different character, though her runway was read for being dressed up for St. Paddy’s day. While poor Pangina was read for not bringing Mariah Carey in Snatch Game, despite looking just like her. Though they loved her runway. LOVED it.
Ultimately Blu and Baga were named the top two queens of the week before Ru gagged everyone by announcing that should you not be in the top, you’re now in the bottom and as such, they’re all up for elimination.
Backstage Blu was thrilled to finally make it to the top, particularly in Snatch Game, despite the fact Baga was sure she did slightly better than her UK sister. Blu asked the bottoms whether they felt ok with their placements, with Janey and Juju admitting their critiques were justified. While Pangina was just straight up heartbroken.
Baga first caught up with Janey, vibing on how real she is by admitting she was one of the worst this week. Baga then asked her who she should send home, given she was unsure. Pangina admitted to Blu how sad she is to land in the bottom, while Blu told her that she loves her though she is tempted to take out her biggest competition. Baga meanwhile told Mo that she felt she did third best in the challenge and straight up won’t be eliminating her, while Juju told Blu that if the rules didn’t change, she knows she wouldn’t be in the bottom. This time. Blu asked Juju if she would save her next week, with Juju admitting she would have to judge on the challenge and as such, Blu should do it too. Which is wise.
Janey and Juju caught up, with Janey not sure about what the girls will do while Juju wanted them to vote on the smoothest balls. Since she would win each and every day. Baga and Pangina caught up next with Pangina suggesting Janey was worse in Snatch Game and wanted Baga to make the moral decision and be fair. Just like she was, which made Baga annoyed for Jimbo all over again. Mo meanwhile straight up told Blu that she will keep her in the competition if she is in the top next week, which Blu snapped up while Juju told Baga she knows she wants to compete against her in the final and as such, they should stay together. And then Baga assured her that she is safe. Janey meanwhile told Blu how much she wants to stay and feels she deserves it, with Blu admitting the season would be lacking something if she had ended up going home in the first week.
As Baga and Blu took the stage, Ru appeared to be judging Baga’s sloppy outfit while Blu was just thrilled to already have her win in the bag. And then when Let It Go by Alexandra Burke kicked off, it was a done deal. While Baga gave her brand of demented camp, Blu was intense, fierce and oh so cheeky and well, it was perfect! Even while Baga screwed up her cartwheel and rolled around the stage flashing her tuck, Blu was giving more, rocking star jumps and well, it was stupid in all the right ways. After Blu took out her rightful victory, the cluster of bottoms took the stage before they were even more gagged than last week as Blu went full Naomi Smalls and eliminated the iconic Pangina Heals.
Pangina straight up sobbed her way to exit while Janey, Mo and Juju held on to each other in absolute shock. While Blu looked like she was about to throw up, instantly regretting her choice to cut the icon as Pangina sobbed from the side of the stage. I mean, she was giving Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone by way of Scarlett Harlett, she was that damn scared.
There is no denying that Pangina was absolutely gutted by the time she reached me in the Werk Room. I immediately pulled her into my arms and tried to calm her as best I could, assuring her that she did a great job, is a star and her elimination will never, EVER, change that. With that, I finally cheered her up and reminded her that above all else, All Stars is a game and as such, this just positions her as the mostest robbed queen of all time. Which was enough to get her laughing as we smashed some celebratory Parmigiana Heals Sausage Rolls.
Like John Eastoe – bogan zaddy of Australian Survivor – before us, Pang and I have a passion for parmigiana varieties. We also live for sausage roll variants, which essentially makes this the greatest meal of all time. Cheesy and dripping in marinara sauce, these babies are near perfection.
Enjoy!
Parmigiana Heals Sausage Rolls Serves: 8.
Ingredients 500g pork mince 500g Italian sausages, casings removed 200g ham, diced 1 onion, diced 6 garlic cloves, minced 2 cups Amber Marinara Sauce 1 ½ cups panko breadcrumbs 2 tsp dried parsley 1 tsp dried basil 1 tsp dried oregano ½ tsp dried thyme 2 eggs salt and pepper, to taste 4 sheets puff pastry, just thawed 1 cup cheddar cheese ½ cup mozzarella cheese ½ cup parmesan cheese
Method Preheat the oven to 200C and line a pair of baking sheets with paper.
Pop the meats, onion, garlic, ½ cup marinara sauce, breadcrumbs, herbs and one of the eggs in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch until well combined.
Line all the pastry out on a bench and cut in half. Divide the mixture into 8 and form into a long sausage, laying each in the middle of each rectangle of pastry and sprinkle with some cheese. Whisk the remaining egg and brush either side of the sausage. Roll the pastry to enclose the sausage and cut into 2-4 portions, depending on the size you want. Pop the portions on the baking sheet and brush with some more egg.
Place the baking sheets in the oven for 20 minutes, or until cooked through. Remove from the oven, drizzle with some marinara sauce and some cheese and return to the oven for a further 10 minutes, or until the cheese is golden and crisp. Devour immediately with more sauce, if required.
Well, well, well, just went you thought I was down and out – was I ever in, though? – Ru pulls me back into the world of fame, food, fortune and glamour. And into the orbit of one of my first loves, Rhys.
While I am mixing things up in the pursuit of trying to avoid angering the internet and posting our ru-caps on a one week delay, I had to mark the exciting occasion of Ru and Michelle judging our collective maps of Tassie with a little date with Rhys.
Oh Rhys. Dear, sweet Rhys.
We met in Sydney in 2009, he had just relocated and ready to take on the comedy world while I was being chased out of town by a modern version of a mob with pitchforks. You see, I had just tried to make my drag debut in THE frill-necked lizard costume from Priscilla and was clocked at The Beresford. Because if nothing else, us gays can sleuth.
In any event, I saw Rhys when running down Oxford Street and was immediately taken. Like that, I slid into an alley, did a cheeky quick change and went and swept him off my feet.
It was a beautiful, torrid spring fling which ended horribly three months later as I was finally arrested for my frilled-neck crimes as he looked on in absolute horror. While the relationship ended, we maintained a lovely friendship as he wrote to me in priz, updating me on his blossoming relationship with Kyran.
As is oft the case, there was a brief period of turmoil when I arrived on the Down Under set and realised that Ru and Michelle opted for a younger, prettier model to join them on the judges panel but I was glad to be able to repair the friendship after returning to Oz and share in the premiere with him.
But you know, we’ve got a new spoiler policy in place, you won’t be hearing anything about that until next week. In the meantime, may I suggest getting a big, fat Rhys Nicholsonoran Hot Dog in your mouth.
There was no more fitting way to return to this little venture than by splitting a soft, pillowy bun with a big fat sausage, slathering it in a creamy, zesty sauce and adding a little bit of spice. And avocado.
Ingredients 8 sausages, basic Aussie preferred 16 rashers streaky bacon 8 hot dog rolls, subs or Hulk Hoagies would work in a pinch too because let’s be honest, I couldn’t find bolillos ¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain, or any old mayo you have laying around. But you know, in date small handful of coriander, finely chopped, plus extra to garnish 1 tbsp sriracha, plus extra to top 1 lime, zested and juiced salt and pepper, to taste 2 tomatoes, cored and diced ½ red onion, finely diced 400g can refried beans, warmed 2 avocados, diced pickled jalapenos, to serve
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Tightly wrap each sausage with two rashers of bacon and place, seam side/s down, on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden, crisp and cooked through.
While you’re getting your sausage fest nice and hot, combine the mayo, coriander, hot sauce and zest and juice of one of the limes with a good whack of salt and pepper.
In another bowl, combine the tomato, onion and zest and juice of the remaining lime with a pinch of salt, stir well and allow the citrus to take some of the sharpness form the onion.
To assemble, split the buns, schmear with some refried beans, top with the meaty sausage, drizzle with spicy, herbaceous mayo, some quick-pickled tomato and onion, avo and coriander and some hot sauce. Assuming you’re not one of the people that genetically tastes soap in place of coriander.
After making that decision, then devour, greedily and happily, grateful that I am back, back, back, back, back again, with another season of Drag Race.
Fame Hungry 