Golden Globe Nominee

Ryan Cosling and Avocado Salad

Golden Globe Gold, Golden Globe Gold: Goldy Bird, Salad, Side, Snack

Hey Girl, you didn’t think there was anyone I’d rather kick off this (new) year’s Golden Globe celebrations with than my dear friend Ryan Gosling, did you? I mean between the fact we’ve known each other for decades after co-starring on The Mickey Mouse Club – obvi I was a mouseketeer – and that he won his globe after five noms, he is best place to help me run the odds this year.

Normally I like to show you the other sides of my celebrity friends however when it comes to Ry, what you see is what you get. He is an absolute babe-town slash sweetheart, is a loyal friend and is just thoroughly delightful.

I mean, he was so worried about how I would take him getting with Eva and starting a family – we dated in the early noughts – so he took me on a friend vacay where we watched her movies with a critical eye until I softened enough to her and he was sure that I wouldn’t feel slighted by the relationship.

While I obviously flew off the handle when I realised talking smack about Eva’s performance in the classic film Urban Legends: Final Cut – the film’s only weakness IMO – wasn’t foreplay, we quickly won me back by having personally edited the locker scene from Crazy, Stupid, Love and his Blue Valentine nude scene in a 14 hour loop to help calm me down.

That sort of thoughtful gesture is even enough to curb my penchant for holding grudges. As such, we’ve been the best of friends for life.

When I arrived in L.A. I made my way straight over to his home to catch-up. He threw his arms around me – swoon – and told me how desperately he missed me slash how happy it made him to be helping me make my second triumphant return to the interwebs.

As I am wont to do, we laughed, we cried and we talk smack about our frenemies before getting down to running the odds. Given how much I love him, I decided to cover all the motion picture acting nominations with him. For Supporting Actor we agreed that my boy Mahershala is likely to snatch a globe to make up for his snubbery for Moonlight and Supporting Actress will go to Regina King. The leading performances are where we started to disagree, with Ry thinking Christian Bale will take Comedy and Musical while I think Robert Redford will take a surprise victory. For Comedy and Musical Actress, he believes it is Olivia Colman’s to lose, while my gut tells me Crazy Rich Asians will take a win and Constance Wu feels like their best shot. For Drama, he thinks Bradley Cooper will win here – I obvi am Rami all the way, er’ryday – and Lady Gaga will continue A Star is Born’s streak, while I can not move past Glenn Close.

Because she is Glenn Close damnit.

Given he is such a delight, things didn’t get very heated so I didn’t need to cook up anything hearty to ground us – like roast gosling, for instance. Instead, we feasted on a fresh and delightful Ryan Cosling and Avocado Salad.

 

 

I know that I normally push extremely hard in favour of the ‘you don’t win friends with salad rule,’ but this is so good I have to make an exception. Packing a tonne of flavour and healthy enough to make you smugly think that you’re keeping your new year’s resolutions, it is near perfection.

Enjoy!

 

 

Ryan Cosling and Avocado Salad
Serves: 2

Ingredients
¼ cup greek yoghurt
1 lime, juiced and zested
1 tsp maple syrup
1 tbsp dill, finely chopped
salt and pepper, to taste
2 baby cos, washed, dried and leaves removed
1 avocados, peeled, stoned and sliced
handful of mint leaves

Method
Combine the yoghurt, lime juice and zest, maple syrup, dill and a good whack of salt and pepper in a jug.

Layer the cos on a platter, topped with the avocado slices and a sprinkle of mint.

Drizzle over the dressing.

Devour.

 

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Rolling out the red carpet. Again!

Golden Globe Gold, Golden Globe Gold: Goldy Bird, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Ok, so do you remember that awkward time I disappeared for three months and vowed to catch-up on all the dates I missed documenting during that time and never let it happen again? Well … it happened again.

Abbi Jacobson GIF by Broad City - Find & Share on GIPHY

Once again I have a really valid excuse – rehab, bereavements, laziness, depression, jail, anger management, intensive inpatient therapy after watching JVN’s break-up play-out and becoming a first-time (puppy) father – but that isn’t what matters.

What matters is that I’ve returned just in the knick of time to roll out the red carpet and celebrate the booziest award show of the season. Yep – it’s time for our annual Golden Globe Gold celebration!!

Who will be needed to clear some space on their mantle and/or bathroom cabinet for some new trophies? Well you’re just going to have to wait and find out. From me. Over the next few days. As I obvi have the deets.

In any event, strap in as like Shangie I am back, back, back again and Goldy Bird is ready to roll.

Image source: HFPA.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Greg Paneer

Cheese

I tell you, life feels as good as it gets when I’m spending time with my celebrity friends. None more so, than the delightful Greg Kinnear.

While I didn’t meet Greg until he was already an Emmy winner, he always credits me for the stratospheric launch of his career. And that love, support and praise, really speaks to me on a deep level. As such, my ego particularly likes spending time with him.

You see, I was part of Hellraiser Hunt’s entourage on the set of As Good As It Gets, and when I wasn’t busy trying to position myself as the King of the set, I was coaching Greg. He was lower on the totem pole, compared to Hells and Jack so I made it my mission to coach him on playing gay and get him into the A-list.

One Oscar nomination later and a string of hit movies including You’ve Got Mail opposite Megs (Megs, Megs, Megs) and I think you’ll agree I succeeded.

Given he is now an A-lister, out visits aren’t as often as we’d like but he always drops everything when I ask to catch-up.

Fresh off the set of House of Cards, I desperately tried to find out any tea but he told me that he was sworn to secrecy and he couldn’t even tell me. I mean, that is how deep our relationship is that I am the one person he wants to share his secrets with, even though I’m a terrible server like Sheree and always spill said tea.

Anyway, despite not getting any goss we did the usual, laugh, cry, love and then smashed a giant plate of my Greg Paneer for optimal joy.

 

 

Making cheese always seems like it is in the too hard basket, with all the acids, salts and cultures required. Thankfully, paneer is one of the most basic and still tastes oh so good. Soft and creamy, it is the perfect thing to fry up or say, chuck in a Jenneer Saagustin.

Enjoy!

 

 

Greg Paneer
Serves: 2 besties.

Ingredients
1L milk
pinch of kosher salt
2 tbsp lemon juice

Method
Line a sieve with a double layer of cheesecloth.

Combine the milk and salt in a large saucepan and slowly bring to a light boil, stirring semi-constantly to avoid burning on the bottom.

Remove from the heat and gently stir through the lemon juice until the curds and whey are seperated. Which should happen pretty instantaneously.

Pour the contents into the lined sieve and rinse under cold water. Grab the edges of the cheesecloth and twist into a ball to drain all the liquid and leave in the sieve to drain for a further five minutes.

Transfer to a large plate and place another on top layered with some cans to help it condense. Place in the fridge to chill for about an hour, or until solid.

Then slice and serve/fry, and then devour.

 

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Courtney Love Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Oh my god – what a delight it was to see Courts again! I was anxiously waiting at the VIP exit of Brisbane Airport – the one where Schapelle left from! – and ran straight into her arms as soon as I saw her, breaking down in tears from either feuding with a washed up Gladiator or how desperately I missed her.

JK, obvi it was the latter. My feud gives me life.

Now as you know from my time-travel enabled date with Kurt, I’ve known Courtney for years when we were both huge in the Portland gay club scene where I was turning tricks at the time. She realised that I was destined for greatness – well, a different kind of greatness because no judgement – took me under her wing and vowed to make me a star.

While I kept on stumbling, Courts was never disappointed in me and always made me feel loved and appreciated. She truly is the sweetest person, which is why I’m honoured to have introduced her to Kurt.

Anyway I haven’t seen Courts since she toured Australia four years ago, so it was such a treat to see her, reconnect and see whether she believes that Nico and I will ultimately end up together. Well, if things don’t pan out with The Commando, obvi. And if she and Neeks enjoyed their time with Ru and Mish, obvi.

Given the deep love I have for dear Courts, I knew there was only one thing I could make that would do her and our friendship justice. A delicious Courtney Love Cake.

 

 

A traditional Sri Lankan celebration cake, the Love Cake is moist, spicy and sweet and is emblematic of all that is good in the world. Like my dear ride-or-die friend.

Enjoy!

 

 

Courtney Love Cake
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
350g raw unsalted cashews
1 tbsp rosewater
1 tsp ground cardamom
2 tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp nutmeg
200g unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
4 eggs, separated, plus an additional 4 yolks
1 ½ cups semolina
⅓ cup honey
icing sugar, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 150°C and line a square cake tin with baking paper.

Blitz the cashews in a food processor until finely chopped. Add the rosewater and spices and blitz again until well combined.

Cream the butter and sugar in the large bowl of a stand mixer until light and fluffy, to the point where they appear to be pulsating. You know the look. Add the yolks one at a time, beating well after each addition before folding through the fragrant cashew mixture, semolina and honey.

Using a clean bowl, beat the egg whites in the stand mixer until stiff peaks form. Fold into the semolina mixture, transfer to the cake tin and bake for an hour, or until firm and cooked through.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool. Before carving, dusting in icing sugar and devouring. With your favourite friend.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Celebrity Skin

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

The Ekka winds are ripping through Brisbane – it is a thing, think like Santa Ana winds, but far more ocker – and I’m kind of in need of some warmer weather. Basically, and I hate saying this, no matter how mild it is I am sick of winter and ready for spring to roll around and seasonally guilt me into refreshing my jush.

Essentially I’m suffering from SAD and I need someone to make me (mood) over.

Oh, make me over. I’m all I want to be. As my co-workers can attest, I’m a walking study in demonology. As such, I picked up the phone and begged my bestie Courtney Love to drop by and help perk me up?

What says, I want you to give me a reason to be beautiful rather than to crash and burn?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

McRebawich McEntire

Uncategorized

Oh gosh, if my dear friend Reba McEntire isn’t the sweetest thing. Ya’ll? Sorry, I sound like Reese Witherspoon when I try to go country and it is simultaneously making me sick, enthused about my inevitable drag career impersonating her and extremely concerned that I run the risk of offending my dear friend Reba.

JK Kimora, I could never offend the beautiful Reba McEntire. She has a heart of gold and can take a joke.

While I didn’t meet my dear friend Reebs until 1990 – when she was co-starring opposite the divine Kevs Bacon in Tremors – we quickly connected over our quick wits and became the best of friends. As such, I vowed to help her make the transition from singing superstar to acting queen as successful as possible.

And given she’s had two hit sitcoms and is completely iconic, I think you’d agree that I succeeded.

Anyway, it was such a delight to have Reba in my home once again and to float potential sitcom ideas – obvs featuring me – for when she completes the hat trick. That is obviously extremely hunger inducing, so I was glad I had lined us up a shit tonne of McRebawich McEntire to tide us over.

 

 

I didn’t want to typecast Reba as a KFC girl since she is the first female colonel, so was glad she could never go past the majesty of my Maccas copycat of the infamous ribwich. If The Simpsons taught me anything, which you know it has, it is that being able to track down our fave burg’ has always been notoriously hard to find. As such I quickly learned to make my own sticky, barbecue delights for when Reba and I were on the road together.

And she has been eternally grateful ever since.

Enjoy!

 

 

McRebawich McEntire
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g pork spare rib meat, uncooked and hacked from the bone
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp muscovado sugar
¼ tsp hickory liquid smoke
salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup barbecue sauce
2 dill pickles, sliced
1 onion, diced
4 Hulk Hogies, cut in half

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Combine the meat, Worcestershire, sugar, liquid smoke and a good whack of salt and pepper in a food processor and blitz for a couple of minutes, or until completely mince and coming together.

Split the meat into 4 equal patties, shape into a hand-sized rib-esque rectangle and place on a lined baking sheet. You could even put little dents along the way to really sell that it is a rib patty, put I won’t hold it against you if you don’t*.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes or so, or until the patty is just cooked through. Remove and allow to cool for a couple of minutes.

To serve, split your buns – giggity – and place them in the microwave on high for twenty seconds. Dip the rib patties in the barbecue sauce. Place each patty on the on the bottom of the roll, top with pickles, onion and close the sandwich.

Devour.

*You know I will.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Fancy feast

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Well hot damn, shout it from the roof of the Grand Ole Opry, the first in line to the Queen of Country throne – because Dolly, obvs – slash my dear friend Reba McEntire is finally free to drop by for a date.

We’ve been trying to tee something up for the last year or so, but to no avail. Thankfully I saw that KFC was celebrating its 50th anniversary in Australia recently, picked up the phone to chat to the current Colonel and thankfully she was free to swing by for a quick date.

What says I love you, I’ve missed you, I need you back on TV and releasing new music … without typecasting her in the KFC bucket?

Image source: KFC who I would gladly accept any and all sponsorship arrangements from, FYI.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Gaberry Soufflibe

14th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

After a hint of Megs and a dash of Shirls, we’ve arrived at the televisual stardom section of my egg-based ritual. And based on her successful post-Precious TV career with The Big C, American Horror Story: Coven through Hotel and Empire, my girl Gabs Sidible was the only person worthy of joining me for day three of this year’s Easter Meggstravaganza.

I’ve known Gabs for years after meeting on the set of Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire. I was there visiting my part-time lover Lenny Kravtiz and was immediately drawn in by her performance and vowed to make her a star, and get her an Oscar. While she was robbed by my frenemy Sandra Bullock – she should have been robbed by Meryl instead – she never held my inability to bring Bullsy down against me.

Given how busy I’ve been being Miley and the sort, and she is still hard at work on Empire, Gabs and I haven’t had the chance to catch-up in a while. And let me tell you, it was such a treat to see her again.

She was not only so excited to see me again and reconnect, but also help bring Megs the renewed fame she deserves. We laughed, we hugged, we plotted my way into American Horror Story and finally put on our ritualistic robes and devoured a Gaberry Soufflibe.

 

 

Don’t let the terrible photos scare you – the air conditioning really did a number on them – these babies are damned near perfection. Light, sweet and full of berrylicious tang, it is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Or off, TBH.

Enjoy!

 

 

Gaberry Soufflibe
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
½ cup raw caster sugar
100g blueberries
100g raspberries
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp cornflour
2 egg whites
icing sugar, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C.

Combine the ¼ cup of sugar, berries, vanilla and cornflour in a saucepan over medium heat with 2 tablespoons of water. Bring to a boil over high heat and cook for five minutes or so, or until broken down and thickened. Remove from heat and allow to cool for an hour or so.

When you’re ready to rock and or roll, place the remaining sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer with the egg whites and beat until stiff peaks form. Fold through the berry mixture and pour into 6 small ramekins, place on a lined baking sheet and bake for ten minutes or until risen (like Megs’ career, yo).

Dust with icing sugar and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Marcia Hot Cross Buns

Baking, Bread, Side, Snack, Sweets

With Easter just around the corner, I started thinking about all the wonderful back-from-the-dead – or brink of – performances to ever grace the small screen and it reminded me how long it had been since I caught up with my dear friend Marcia Cross.

While much has been made about it in the media, I was not not the inspiration for the role of Kimberly Shaw in Melrose Place. I was just brought in to coach Marcia to peak craziness. We worked together day and night for months, and that close working relationship quickly developed into a deep and beautiful friendship that no questionable casting choices – I see you Quantico – will ever destroy.

Marcia and I are such wonderful friends, but since we’re both so successful and busy it makes it hard to maintain the day-to-day aspects of friendship, so it was such a treat to make the time to hang out and toast to the future.

Despite the fact she only has Quantico keeping her busy compared to the multiple pies I have my hands in. Not that I’m bitter.

Anyway, easter is the time for miracles etc. so Marsh and I made it work, plotted a return to the A-list – for both of us – and devoured in a shit tonne of Marcia Hot Cross Buns, as is the style of the season.

 

 

Spicy, soft and packing a punch – not to measure a shit tonne of delicious fruits – these make the perfection that is Hot Cross Buns even better.

Not convinced? Make them for yourself … and enjoy!

 

 

Marcia Hot Cross Buns
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
14g dried yeast
1 ¼ cups milk, warmed
¼ cup muscovado sugar
4 cups flour, plus ¼ cup for crossin’
1 ½ tsp cinnamon
1 tsp mixed spice
¼ tsp nutmeg
pinch of salt
¼ cup butter
½ cup sultanas
½ cup raisins
1 cup craisins
2 eggs
½ tsp baking powder

Method
Combine the yeast, milk and muscovado sugar in a jug and set aside in a warm, dry place until it is foamy and glorious.

Meanwhile combine the flour, spices and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer and rub through the butter with your fingertips until it resembles dirty sand. Add the fruits, eggs and foamy yeast mixture, and knead in a stand mixer for five to ten minutes, or until smooth and elastic. Place in a greased bowl, cover and allow to prove for an hour or so, or until double in size.

Preheat oven to 200°C.

Knock the dough back, shape into 12 balls and place on a lined baking sheet, leaving 5cm apart. Cover with some cling and allow to prove for another half an hour.

Combine the extra flour with the baking powder and ¼ cup of water. Spoon crosses over the buns and transfer to the oven to bake for ten minutes. Reduce heat to 150°C, rotate the pan and bake for a further 15 minutes.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before serving, slathered in a shit tonne of butter.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.