Puff Pastry

Buffally Chicks in Blankettle

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Party Food, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor AJ became public enemy number one at the Brains after his failed attempt at getting rid of Logan. Unlike the poker players that came before him, however, he didn’t lay down and die. Instead, he went to Rich to let him know that Logan was actually out for him, inspiring him to take charge and lead a rival, all male alliance. All that set up was for nothing – yet – as the Brawns went on a losing streak, in no small part thanks to the golden foot of pole dancing king Myles. Knowing he was in danger, Nash pretended to find an idol right in front of Paulie in the hopes of scaring up a split vote he could take advantage of. Sadly for him, his social game wasn’t as on point as he thought, leasing to the tribe calling his bluff, sending him home and freeing us of the other, obnoxious camera hog.

The next day the Brawn tribe were as gloriously harmonious as the Brains were after booting Kent. Everyone was well slept and vibing by the fire, and even people that weren’t getting along previously, were getting along and living their best lives. Not everything was roses though, specifically Ben, who admitted that he stank. And Ursula was super salty to have had her name written down a second time. She and Noonan caught up to clear the air, with Noonan assuring her that she doesn’t intend to vote for her again and that she was only copping votes because of Nash. But trust and believe Ursula was not convinced, and she still intended to come for her at the first available opportunity.

We checked in on the Brains where we finally heard from Zara as the tribe were once again fireless and hungry. Because the boys miscalculated their rations. As Ally threatened to kill them all with the machete, we learnt that Zara is a luxe queen and ugh, I knew I loved her for a reason. The second one being that she hates Rich. She caught up with Karin to talk it out, realising that Laura and Logan were protecting him and as such, suggested that if they don’t get on board at the next tribal council, the Coven is over. AJ meanwhile was feeling great about his place in the tribe despite his faux pas, and was now going to lay low and let Ally bury herself given she has such a big mouth. While he was sulking by the ocean, Ally complained about him ignoring her, while Zara explained that he is clearly annoyed that she threw him under the bus. Despite briefly considering apologising to him, she started to berate him for being immature and told him she wanted to remember him more fondly once he was gone, so he should just get in line and smile. He then laughed to us about the fact that he actually had a good bond with Myles and Kaelen, and along with the other boys were planning to take a shot at the girls, so he isn’t down and out yet. Nor are the Brains, as they finally built a roaring fire.

Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where the tribes would jump into a pool of mud, cover themselves in it and carry it down a path to fill a crate. They would then pull said crate to the end of the path before forming mud balls and using them to knock over targets. And given it was for an epic trip to the Survivor spa, everyone had a laser focus. Kalaen and Max got out to an early lead for the Brains, but the Brawns were wearing more clothes and were able to use it as a scoop, dumping in huge load after huge load. Of mud, that is. The Brawn tribe had a hefty lead to start forming and tossing balls, while the Brains desperately tried to close the gap. Sadly nowhere near quickly enough, as PD secured reward for their tribe. And ideally give us a gorgeous Paulie nude scene. Hopefully. Before sending the Brawn tribe away, JLP told them to pick someone to join them and while Logan was literally in tears wanting some glam, they selected Ally to join them given she wanted to give them the snags yesterday.

And just like that, Ally, Logan is coming for you.

Brawn + Ally arrived at the spa, quickly sitting down to their meal and pouring champagne, as Ally thanked them for their kindness and got to know them. Kristin casually tried to fish for intel before Ally went all in oversharing. She started with shading Myles and Kent, before straight up telling literally the tribe who to watch out for and outlining every single alliance and Ally, you’re an absolute moron. Goodbye, I can’t wait for Logan to take her revenge. Oh and we didn’t even get Paulie naked because of her stupidity, so boo.

Back with the Brains, the tribe were far more demure as they washed off in the ocean, assuring themselves that Ally is smart enough to keep her mouth shut and be sensible. And ugh, I wish. AJ meanwhile was growing more and more nervous that Rich and Max’s chaotic energy will blow up his game, and as such, went hunting for an idol. Wanting to protect themselves, Zara, Logan and Karin joined him on the hunt in the hope that they would find it first. Sadly for them, they were not quick enough as he snatched it out from under them and gave him the hope he was looking for.

The tribes reunited with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to build a fire on a see saw while the rest of the tribe would build a cube to release a key, use the key to unlock a net and then use that to transport coconuts to a platform which they would use to toss them into a bucket to weigh down the see saw and light a flag with the fire. Well, not until after the Brawn tribe heavily implied Ally had the loosest of loose lips. After throwing her under the bus, the Brains whipped through the puzzle and got out to a massive lead, releasing their nut sack – JLP’s words – and lining up their coconuts, as Laura and Ally struggled to make fire. While Brawn’s fire was roaring, the tribe managed to close the gap and started tossing their nuts. While Ally and Laura continued to not even get a spark. Meaning Brawn easily took out victory and sent Brains back to tribal council.

Back at camp the boys were all well and truly pissed with Ally and Laura for choking, quickly locking in a plan to take a strike at one of the girls before the alliance could actually jag the numbers. Specifically they would blindside Ally for her presumed loose lips, bossing everyone around and most annoyingly, screwing up the challenge. Zara and Karin, meanwhile, were hyper focused on getting rid of Rich. The challenge being making sure all the girls were onboard with the plan. Laura continued to defend Rich which frustrated Zara and Karin, while Laura told them they were being illogical and emotional, rather than listening to them. Zara calmly explained why they’re so focused on him and that they’re sick of always talking about Rich, but not actually being allowed to take a shot because of Laura always getting her way. With Logan and Laura still wanting to save Rich, our good witch approached him to let him know that he was the girls’ target. Rich wisely pointed out the boys were voting for Ally and as such, she could easily just join them to get rid of her with them.

Zara and Karin checked in to make sure Ally was actually still wanting to get rid of Rich. They all agreed it was likely that Laura will stay with them, despite not being happy about it, so they should hold firm. Ally went to coach AJ once again, lecturing him about the fact he is likely safe but that he will exit soon after. She then told him that one wrong vote would get rid of him, so he should be extra careful tonight. As he laughed to us about the fact that Ally clearly has no idea about her surroundings and how much people want her gone. Zara tried to check in with Laura and Logan, and while Logan was keen to smooth things over, Laura ran off angrily. Sensing the alliance may not have much life, Zara and Karin went to find new allies, with Zara quickly pulling in Myles to take out Rich and form a meaningful, collaborative alliance.

Myles then went to AJ to pull him over to their side, as AJ shared that he was a little worried about Zara and Karin being too stubborn. Which feels like a false narrative from Laura, but whatever. Thankfully his trust in Myles proved stronger than his desire to get rid of Ally, so he locked in with them. Karin once again tried to make sure Laura was on board with them, who assured them she was. Zara and Ally then joined them with the latter thinking she made a killer move on the previous reward, telling everyone she assured the Brawns they could trust the girls. And that all of their alliances were locked and loaded, particularly the all girls one, which again is stupid. As is telling the girls about said stupidity.

At tribal council AJ spoke about how tribal council will finally draw a line in the sand for the tribe, given the last votes were pretty easy. Ally said that all the alliances were pretty solid, though the votes should confirm them, yes. Zara spoke about the challenge of needing to have alliances that operate as a democracy, with Logan agreeing that the vote should be pretty straightforward whether she is happy about it or not. Rich admitted he was nervous, given this vote is far less obvious than the last ones. But trust, he isn’t keen on going. Laura meanwhile shared this is one of the most pivotal votes, to her. AJ referenced his alliance, talking about wanting to find loyal people to go to the end with. A bomb squad if you will. This spooked the girls, who seemed to clock the name, with Ally obviously very vocal about being concerned about AJ.

JLP promptly announced that we’re in for a very different tribal council tonight and that instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be voting someone out of the tribe and over to Brawn. With a little scroll they would only be able to read after they left. AJ immediately volunteered to switch tribes, which Laura shut down just as quickly. Ally too was keen to go, no doubt because she told them everything about the tribe and she believed she would be in charge. She then had the nerve to say that AJ runs his mouth too much, and lol. AJ said he wanted to go because it is likely a clue to an idol and as such, he can use it to survive another night. Rich too offered himself up, leading to the girls having a group meeting to chat through the merits. After landing on Rich, they joined Rich and the boys who all locked in the vote as Ally tactlessly told AJ majority will rule and he has no say. With that the tribe voted and as expected Rich was sent packing with a Brawn buff in one hand, and the scroll in the other. As soon as the tribe exited tribal council, he pulled open the scroll where he learnt he had won safety without power for two people at the next tribal council. No matter which tribe goes to tribal council.

We checked in with the new Brawn tribe the next day where Rich was vibing, thrilled to be living in a superior camp, complete with a fire. He reassured them that he is definitely part of the tribe and won’t be going back Kelli style. And while everyone was thrilled to have a new person to hang out with, trust and believe Noonan was happy to get rid of him at the first opportunity. If he doesn’t get sent back to Brains before the next tribal council, that is. Unaware that if she pulls a Nash, he will be able to save himself and another person. Worried that his job may be to sabotage them at the next immunity challenge, they decided it was smartest to sit him out of the next immunity challenge, just to be safe.

We checked in with the Brains tribe where everyone was living for the new zen mood. Well, everyone but Karin, who was annoyed that Rich managed to survive, despite her wanting him gone, given he was the cause of division within the coven. She realised that Laura and Logan were too emotional and reactionary for her liking, so got to work locking in a more zen alliance. She and Zara caught up with Myles, who floated the idea of them working together with him and AJ for more than just taking out Ally. With the girls catching up privately to lock it all in as their main alliance. Laura and Logan meanwhile caught up to lament their losses at tribal council, though felt they played it all perfectly and that Zara didn’t. And as such, they wanted to target her. Even though they literally got their way every tribal council until the Rich vote. Logan and Laura, on the other hand, were planning to work with Max and Kaelan to take control. Logan approached Max with the idea, who was obviously thrilled, as they quickly locked in the vote against AJ. And while it looks like we’re locked in 4-4, Kaelan appears to spend more time with AJ and Myles, so it feels like we’re being sold more of an even playing field than there actually is, no?

JLP returned for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would face off in a game of Sumo at Sea. With the victors getting a little interior design pack from Ikea, including cushions and rugs. First to face off were Myles and Zaddy Paulie, with my king making quick work of our pole dancing king. Noonan and Ally were up next, with Noonan too, making quick work of the Brain. Ursula and Karin, meanwhile, gave us a legit battle as neither woman was willing to give an inch. While locked in battle for 20 minutes, Karin told Ursula to not trust Rich under any circumstances and ugh, I love it. Sadly, it ended in a draw for both of them and while it was iconic, the challenge continued. This time, in duos to speed things up. Max and Kaelan then faced off against Rich and PD, with the Brawns snagging victory after Max dropped almost instantly.

We followed the victors back to camp where Kristin rejoiced to have a little comfort in her life. They then discovered tea, coffee and biscuits, and letters from home hidden at the base of their haul. Everyone poured a drink before reading their letters one at a time, as the tribe descended into tears. None more than Paulie, who’s dad literally called him a hero for surviving the bullying he went through at school and wrote that he is so proud of him for not just overcoming but thriving. We then learnt a little more about Zaddy Paulie and ugh, I love him so damn much. Give him the win right now, you cowards!

Over at the Brains tribe, the new alliances were busy locking things in as Zara requested Myles come up with a name ASAP today. Well, after locking in his closest ally AJ, that is. AJ thankfully was keen to work with the girls, given they give him good vibes. Not wanting to rest on his laurels, Myles decided he would even potentially loop in the other girls to get rid of Max too. Worst case, though, they needed to get Kaelan on board and while he doesn’t talk much strategy, Myles was confident he would work with him, given he warned him that Kent was out to get him. Kaelan and Myles caught up at the well, thrilled to work with Karin and Zara to get rid of Max. Sadly for them, Ally, ugh, was wandering around the jungle and overheard the conversation, so immediately took the information back to Max. Who was, in a word, livid. While Max gloated to us about having an army behind him, before straight up telling Myles he is watching him.

My love JLP returned for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to swim out and collect a wooden grid before climbing up a slide to retrieve puzzle pieces and then solve the aforementioned puzzle. After Rich was forced to the sit out bench, the tribes were whisked out to the ocean to commence their swim, with the Brawns getting out to the tiniest of leads before Brains overtook them at the shore. After setting up their grids, the Brawns took back the lead as Rich tried to whisper to his bestie Max to throw the challenge as he has a massive advantage for him to use. Whether the Brains intended to throw it or not, the Brawn tribe continued to pull ahead giving Noonan and Morgan a decent advantage at the puzzle. As Myles and Logan diligently worked to close the gap, Rich kept muttering bomb squad to Max despite him having nothing to do with the success or otherwise of the challenge. Both tribes got stuck until Logan thought she had it, only to be wrong. Thankfully after Noonan figured it out, Brains almost snatched the win out from under them, until Myles dropped a tile and sent them back to tribal council.

Before returning to camp, Rich passed off the advantage to Max, giving him the express instruction to save Logan. And then muttered bomb squad multiple more times for dramatic effect. On the way back to camp, AJ whispered to Karin that he saw Rich hand over an advantage, while Ally too was terrified, given she heard him telling Max to continue their work. Which she took to mean the boys’ alliance, not his one with Logan and Laura.

Back at camp things got pretty chaotic pretty quickly, as Max summound everyone to tell them about the advantage, given everyone saw it go down anyway. He then went full Ally, sharing that Rich told him to use it to secure the alliance of boys, but he has a bigger issue he wants to deal with by taking out Myles. And to make sure he gets it done, he is going to exit tribal council with AJ, which is literally the worst decision he could make as then he can’t even vote him out. It also pissed off Logan, who thought they were aligned and the plan was to get rid of AJ, so making him immune means he has crossed her. AJ, Karin, Zara and Myles got together to figure a way out of the mess, with the girls happy to get rid of Ally given she is immovable but also runs her mouth at the drop of a hat. Plus, they think Kaelan will be thrilled to get rid of any woman, so it will be easy to get him on board.

Oh and Myles named themselves the graduates, because they’re above the high school drama. But Zara pointed out they also have the most degrees, so it makes sense for multiple reasons. After Myles pulled Kaelan into the alliance, he then caught up with Max, Logan and Laura where Max became the second person to pitch an Ally blindside to him in as many minutes. And while he thought their alliance was solid once more, the girls were pissed about the thought of getting rid of Ally. Instead, Laura now wanted to take out Zara. Presumably for reasons other than the fact Zara shops at Hermes and she is a witch. Which is now a read, given she is coming for Zara, when I would traditionally stan a witch on Survivor.

Laura’s logic was that Zara is too emotional and not logical, even though it seems like she is having quite the emotional response. Max caught up with the girls, with him completely fine with Zara going home. And to get it done, he was now planning to send Karin and Myles away from tribal council. Laura floated the plan with Kaelan and while he pretended to be onboard with the plan, he admitted to us that he is sick of being thought of as someone else’s number and as such, he was ready to make the decision that was best for him. Zara and Karin meanwhile realised something was up and that the girls were well and truly ready to put an end to the coven. So worried about Max and the advantage ruining their plans. Logan too knew Max was chaotic and his behaviour could screw things up for lots of people, and as such, vowed to just vote for whoever he wants at tribal council. As she begged him to just make a decision and stick with it, essentially. While he was just overjoyed to be the centre of attention.

At tribal council Laura spoke about the tribe being far more relaxed with Rich gone, despite being on edge. Logan admitted that Rich still looms large over the tribe given he handed Max an advantage. Very loudly, in front of everyone, AJ confirmed. Max then continued to showboat talking about how powerful he is and that he is looking forward to having some fun. He then handed the scroll over to JLP immediately with Zara talking about the fact they have plans for tribal council, but they need to see what Max actually does with the advantage before they know what they can actually pull off. Ally was confident Max would do what is best for the tribe – ugh – while Logan was worried that he would make a decision for the drama, rather than strategy and that frankly, she wished it was up to her instead.

Max then continued to be infuriating, talking about being at war with Myles because he is a snickering jungle rat. And that he would love to use the advantage to get his revenge (Side note, while calling Myles a rat seems super problematic, Myles has assured us on social that Max asked him permission before calling him any names). While Myles reiterated that the one thing about rats is that they survive. Zara suggested that Max seems to be playing emotionally, rather than strategically. He then got smarmy, talking about thinking he has something special tonight and as such, he wants to look after his alliance. While Karin told him to stop playing schoolyard games and send the damn people away.

Finally he was forced to play his advantage, sending Laura and Karin out of tribal council which is a combination that literally shocked each and every person. None more so than Logan, who was completely pissed at Max and damn, Max, you’re in danger, girl. Logan and Zara then appeared to reconnect, as Max told all the girls to vote for Myles. While Max gloated about being super confident he knows exactly what is going to happen and he is thrilled to be safe, despite being left at tribal council. With that the tribe voted and while Max was safe, he didn’t get his way, as he and Ally were gagged to see her booted from the game.

As soon as Ally arrived at Loser Lodge, she pulled me aside to let me know about the state of every relationship back at camp. In addition, she lectured me on how badly AJ had been playing that game. And while I wanted to scream, I had to admire her consistency, so pulled her in for a hug, thanked her for the comedy and celebrated her short run with a batch of Buffally Chicks in Blankettle.

Pigs in Blankets and buffalo chicken are two of my favourite things, so it is an absolute no brainer to combine them. The comfort of the sausages and flaky pastry are perfectly offset with the little bit of zing from the hot sauce. And frankly, it is perfection.

Enjoy!

Buffally Chicks in Blankettle
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 sheets puff pastry, defrosted
¼ cup Frank’s RedHot, plus extra for serving
½ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp paprika
16 chicken chipolatas
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
Blue Cheese Dressing, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut each sheet of pastry into squares, and then the squares in triangles. Like the superior primary school sandwich cut. Brush pastry with half the hot sauce and sprinkle with the garlic and onion powders, and the paprika.

Working one at a time, wrap the sausages in a triangle of pastry and transfer to a lined baking sheet, seam side down. Combine the melted butter with the remaining hot sauce and brush over the pastries.

Pop them in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Serve immediately drizzled with extra hot sauce and a vat of blue cheese dressing. Before devouring greedily, but also in a way that felt like you were lecturing someone.


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Kent Miller-Feuillendle

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor everything was on the up and up for the Brawns after winning their first immunity challenge. After a little scene with Zen talking about his hunger, the tribes arrived at the reward challenge where JLP announced that despite it only being episode three, it is a doozy. Eleven individual bowls of fries, ready for the loading. The Brawn tribe dominated the challenge 5-0, however Zen appeared to do something with his hand while wrestling Kaelan. Back at camp, Paulie found a clue to the hidden immunity idol in his bowl, so quickly went hunting while the rest of the tribe went swimming. It was then that Zen realised his hand had doubled in size. We then fast forwarded to the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see him return from medical leave with a cast on his hand due to a badly broken finger, which sadly meant he was being pulled from the game.

As everyone wiped away their tears, we did a hard pivot and turned our attention back to the immunity challenge where they would race over a series of obstacles to collect rope and bamboo. They would then use said rope and bamboo to fashion a big ol’ stick to knock a bottle off a shelf to release a key. Next, they would use said key to unlock coconuts and then use said coconuts to knock out tiles. On the first obstacle Kent almost became the second medevac as he took a hard fall on his head. Both tribes were neck and neck – no pun intended – with Kent working at a feverish pace, clearly knowing his terrible game hasn’t made him many friends. Brawns started to pull away as the Brains descended into chaos, with Rich barking orders and annoying the hell out of all the women. Somehow things got closer with both tribes shooting coconuts, as Kent proved himself valuable to the Brains knocking tile after tile. Just sadly not as quickly as Ben for the Brawns, who secured their second immunity challenge.

Back at camp Kent immediately got back to work targeting Myles, lecturing him in front of the tribe, which only made him more dislikable. As such, the dolls rightly got to work locking in a plan against Kent instead, and immediately looped in Myles. After assuring him to not worry about any other plan he hears. The Coven joined the rest of the tribe to lock in the Kent plan, which frustrated AJ, who felt it was a waste of time given he will always be a target. But given AJ is literally wearing a different outfit in his confessional, I think he will be on the wrong side of the vote tonight.

AJ pulled Myles aside to float a plan to get rid of Logan instead, given she is popular, likeable and influential. Like Shonee, remember. With Myles apparently open to it, AJ went to Kaelan before finding a potential woman to flip to his side. Deciding Ally was the most likely to jump, he checked in with her and while she was open to it, he didn’t actually name names. Sadly she went straight to Logan assuming his plan was Rich, and floated getting rid of him instead. Which Logan, obviously, was 100% fine with. She then ran the plan past Laura, unaware that she was really the plan. While Laura tried to talk her out of it, she doubled down on hating Rich so much that getting rid of him would be best for her mental health. They then hilariously caught up with AJ, who had to pretend the plan was still Kent.

AJ finally pulled Ally and Max aside, who were gagged to learn that Logan was his actual target and as such, pulled the pin in the plan and went back to getting rid of Kent. As Ally assured him she is fine to get rid of Logan, just not yet. Despite AJ begging Ally to not say anything, she immediately took the information back to Logan, who was rightly pissed and looped in Laura, begging her to flip the vote on AJ and send him home instead. Which is 100% what would happen to a poker player, no?

We finally ventured to tribal council where Kent spoke about how much easier this tribal council will be compared to their first. Logan admitted she has an idea of who is potentially aligned, but still isn’t confident in knowing who to trust. Myles spoke about being a free agent and just wanting to prove himself as such to downplay the perception that he is playing too hard. Rich shared that there are multiple people on the block tonight, with Logan coyly pointing out someone may not even know they’re on the block. As she whispered to Laura about how much she wants to see AJ go. Kent then spoke about having an exceptional read on the situation and felt it was unlikely he was being blindsided. AJ spoke about the fear of making the wrong move and not getting your target out. Which Logan laughed about, admitting she is struggling to decide whether to go for instant gratification of getting someone out or planning three steps ahead. While Laura tried to caution everyone to think their moves out carefully.

With that, obviously, the tribe voted – Kent even more obviously for Myles – before the tribe stuck to the original plan and the votes piled up on Kent. Much to his shock and the utter jubilation of everyone at home. None more so than me. As Kent arrived at Loser Lodge, however, he was actually kind of sweet, so instead, I commiserated with him about his loss. Because as a super fan, that is one thing I can relate to. As such, I toasted him living out his dream, however short it may have lasted, with a gorgeously rich Kent Miller-Feuillendle.

Like the man himself, this little treat is oh so rich. But in this instance, it is a good thing. The custard is velvety and smooth, the pastry is crisp and light, creating the perfect quick and easy dessert. Only because this is a cheats version, obviously.

Enjoy!

Kent Miller-Feuillendle
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp custard powder
1 cup milk, plus extra for glazin’
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 ½ sheets puff pastry, thawed
⅔ cup thickened cream
1 cup icing sugar
2 tsp glucose syrup
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp cocoa powder

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C.

Combine the custard powder and a quarter of the milk in a saucepan until well combined. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla and remaining milk and cook over medium heat for about five minutes, or until the custard thickens. Remove from the heat and transfer to a bowl, covering with a piece of cling film directly touching the surface and chill for a couple of hours for an hour or so.

While the custard is chilling, place the pastry on a lined baking sheet and top with a second piece of baking paper, followed by a second baking tray, and bake for 20 minutes. Remove the top trays and bake for a further five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

To make the glaze, whisk the icing sugar, glucose and melted butter in a bowl with a little bit of milk, one tablespoon at a time, until you have a thick but pourable glaze. Remove a quarter of the glaze to another bowl and whisk in the cocoa.

When you’re almost ready to start assembling, whisk the cream until stiff peaks form and fold it through the custard mixture. Cut the pastry in half using a serrated knife and place one piece on a platter. Spread with half the custard cream, top with another sheet of pastry and the remaining cream before topping with the last piece of pastry. Pour over the white glaze, spreading evenly with a spatula. Drizzle lines of chocolate glaze lengthwise along the strip, before using a skewer or toothpick to create a pattern.

Pop in the fridge to set before devouring, greedily, thinking about burning the hats of teachers.


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Mayham & Cheese Pithivller

Breakfast, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 9 queens from around the globe booked their tickets to the UK for the first franchise-crossing battle. Kinda like the Avengers for the gays or Ultimate Girls Trip for performers. And let’s just say, it started with a bang as Jimbo, Pangina and Janey demolished the first half of the season and put their little franchises on the map. Tragically, however, they went back-to-back-to-back, leaving four of the five Ru girls in the cast to make it to the finale in the form of Juju, Baga, Blu and Mo Heart. And despite Mo being Mo and Blu being Blu, the little doll that could from Northern Ireland won the lip sync for the crown and found herself the inaugural Queen of the Mothertucking World.

Not to be confused with the Queen of the Motherpucking World.

First to make their triumphant return this go around is the icon of UK Season 2, Tia Kofi, who was puzzled by being invited back despite the fact she is a killer confessionalist. She was joined by Down Under’s own Hannah Conda and yeah, she is ready to have some fun this year and I look forward to her kicking it in the dick once more. Arantxa rang in her own arrival from Spain, literally, giving charm, fun and yes, I am here for everything about her. Arantxa quickly opened up about coming out as trans since her OG season before a very hard pivot into talking about the fact she is not actually sure whether Ru exists. Which is relatable. Mayhem Miller was next to arrive, questioning why she opted to come back, even though we know she just wants to bring the party.

Next up, Choriza bought the sausage to represent the UK with a little of her heart left in Spain. Oh and she is vibing for her own glow up and is ready to thrive, giving Nadja from What We Do In The Shadows energy. La Grande Dame gave the most iconic entry of all time, screaming France. And yeah, Ru is going to love her because she is stupid. While also being so damn gorgeous. Marina Summers came in representing the Philippines and given she looks like that, and is ready to chop the colonizers, I am here for everything about her. JB is once again in the house and is still a delusional delight, so werk queen. They were joined by Holland’s own Keta Minaj and hot damn, I forgot how hot she was. Choke me daddy, etc. Scarlet Envy arrived dripping in red, ready to act up a storm, turn tricks and grab a crown. All while being the drama. And then rounding out the cast was the UK’s very own Porkchop, Gothy Kendoll – roar – looking more expensive than 50P.

As the dolls kikied, a surprise 12th queen was unveiled as Raven stomped the runway. Though after she realised Jujubee was missing, she stepped aside and instead introduced RuPaul before going back to her home backstage. For the non Ru girls, they were overwhelmed to finally get in front of the mother of the franchise, as she assured them it would be a fair playing field for all. Despite how last season made it look. After recapping the rules – top two lip sync for the win and eliminate one of the bottom queens – she then gagged them by announcing that for the first time in UK herstory, the winner would bag herself 50,000 pounds. She then added that for their first maxi challenge, they would be performing in the Queens’ Variety Show before disappearing to hang with Raven and Michelle.

The dolls finally made it to the Werk Room where Hannah was gagged by the sheer size of it – obviously – before they grabbed their bags, found a station and began de-dragging. Hannah caught up with Marina, La Grande Dame, Keta and Jonbers, asking if the money changed the way they were planning to play the game. On the other side of the room, Team USA were busy gossiping, with Mayhem not sure about anyone’s name, as Scarlet marvelled at how good Hannah looked. Though admitted everyone looked good. Well, almost everyone, as she looked Mayhem up and down.  Hannah and La Grande Dame were quickly became friends, while Arantxa, Marina and Keta were bonding over being the sole girls of their franchises and hoping to find a way to have fun and give themselves. Team UK quickly locked in an alliance before they realised they only had one challenge win between them. Which is ironic. Even more so, since they found it so funny. Assuming it proves that personality clearly took them far.

Which Gothy giggled at, given she is literally the Porkchop of UK.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone buzzing as they split up to get prepared for the talent show. With Tia continuing to be the most relatable, hoping it isn’t just 11 lip syncs, as that is always boring. Keta and Marina, meanwhile, were looking forward to representing their countries and putting Filipino and Dutch drag on the map. Hannah was excited to do her first talent show, while Mayhem was just hoping to not forget the lyrics to her performance like she did during her first one. She opened up to Hannah about how she has had to pivot her drag style due to long COVID, so the dolls may be surprised by her number. While Hannah assured her she is confident she will kick it in the dick, given she is an icon who essentially runs L.A. That being said, she may be an icon, but the colloquialisms of our fair country seem to have confused her, as she wondered how a kick to the dick could possibly be a good thing. Jonbers and Scarlett meanwhile admitted they were planning to give Ru all the comedy, knowing that is key to making it far.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by honorary gay icon Richard E. Grant as Choriza opened the Queens’ Variety Show with all the energy as she gave a very Spanish lip sync to her original song. Which was kinda like Adriana from Real Housewives of Miami, but gayer and more fun. Scarlet meanwhile did a little boudoir song and dance about dishing out bad advice and lies, which was so fun and cute. La Grande Dame’s talent was hard to describe, as she gave weird noises and beats, bad dancing and then a runway and yeah, it was stunning. Like, so demented and so stunning. Gothy meanwhile lip synced to an original song before offering a literal glow up as she danced with and ate fire. Shocking even herself in the process. Marina then brought down the house with a stunning lip sync to her own song. She hit every line, she vogued, she twirled ribbons and the song was a legitimate bop. So yeah, just hand her the win, ok?

Keta gave a demented Alice in Wonderland performance which was trippy perfection before lip syncing, flipping and giving reveal after reveal. And even gymnastics. And it was special, k? Mayhem then gave the polar opposite, giving a comedic guided meditation. That is until she started giggling at the second joke and straight up forgot the rest of her lines. Hannah then gave legit talent, tickling the ivories and singing live and hot damn, when did she become charming? Oh, wait, the piano was a fake out. Though the song and singing were great, so well done. Jonbers then gave a song about fashion, like Milk’s talent, if Milk was funny. Arantxa meanwhile played into the fact nobody can say her name with a dream state orgasm while lying on the pit crew as she called everyone idiots. And yeah, I love it. Tia then sang live too and honestly, it was a bop. I mean, aside from Mayhem, was this just good across the board?

On the Queen and Country runway, Scarlet did an ode to Drop Dead Gorgeous with the Mount Ru-shmore headpiece and yeah, give her a win for that alone, TBH. Keta was perfect as a milk maid who can milk me, right now, please. She then revealed an Indonesian witch and yeah, Holland is always going to give us everything. Jonbers meanwhile served slutty leprechaun, complete with a clover headpiece, Arantxa was a delightfully pink flamenco doll that you sit on the TV, apparently. Tia meanwhile served her first stunning look as she rocked a glamorous gown combining her Nigerian and UK roots.

Marina was perfection in a glamorous rice farmer inspired look, Choriza served Ru Britannia as a knight and Mayhem gave Lady Liberty, serving all the curves. Gothy was then adorable as she served King’s Guard, while also clearly being in awe of the fact she was invited back for a second go. La Grande Dame was perfection in a gown of a frog killed by the Eiffel Tour. Before Hannah gave a Priscilla inspired frill-neck lizard, which showcased first nations artists and called for a treaty. Once again reminding us she has learnt and grown from her past mistakes.

Keta, Jonbers, Arantxa, Tia and Hannah were deemed safe and sent to the back of the stage before the judges read Scarlet for not giving enough in the performance, given the idea was solid. Though they loved the look. Marina received wall to wall praise for literally everything she served; killer looks, high energy performance perfection and even some casual education about how rice grows for Alan. Choriza’s energy was praised for opening the show so strongly and they loved that she gave such a camp, gorgeous look. Mayhem, obviously, was read for flubbing literally all the lines in her talent show, though they lived for her runway. Gothy meanwhile was praised for such a strong glow up, though they felt she still wasn’t confident enough. Particularly not to make fire dancing work. Though they lived for her look. While La Grande Dame received wall to wall praise for being so stupid and so polished and oh so perfect. And that isn’t even taking into account how strong her runway was.

Obviously Marina and La Grande Dame were announced as the top two of the week before Choriza and Scarlet were sent to safety, leaving Mayhem and Gothy up for elimination. As the dolls ventured backstage to untuck, they grabbed their drinks and toasted Marina and Dame for landing on the top. Or kicking it in the dick, if you will. Scarlet meanwhile checked in on Mayhem, who had a good attitude about being in the bottom, realising that laughing at herself straight up cost her. Gothy on the other hand was worried about being in the bottom in the first episode two seasons in a row, before the winner’s asked for one on one time with their bottoms.

Marina caught up with Mayhem, who quickly pointed out her performance wasn’t bad, she just made mistakes. Which I guess is the only argument she really could make, so werk. When Marina didn’t seem open to saving her, however, Mayhem floated the idea of an alliance and vowed to help her make it to the end. Grande Dame meanwhile was checking how Gothy was feeling, with her disappointment for the repeat bottom, as La Grand Dame admitted she actually enjoyed her performance. Despite losing an eyelash to the flame. She then went for the emotion, pointing out that Mayhem has so much experience and should know better, while this is her second episode ever of Drag Race. The safe girls questioned how the top girls were planning to play it, as Mayhem took her alliance proposition over to La Grande Dame and honestly, I feel like neither of the queens are taking it seriously. Gothy meanwhile continued to lean into her heart with Marina, reiterating she knows she needs to give the judges more of herself, but she assured her that she will be able to overcome the nerves and shine.

Marina and La Grande Dame grabbed their lipsticks and headed out the mainstage before doing battle to Dreamer by Livin’ Joy. And as you can imagine, both the dolls absolutely devoured. La Grande Dame served humour and used every inch of her 7 feet to her advantage while Marina was all energy, as she hit every moment of every letter. And as such, Marina rightly took out victory before Mayhem and Gothy took their places on stage and Marina announced that Mayhem would be the Gothy Kendoll of the season. Sparing our sweet underdog and allowing her another chance to shine.

When she arrived backstage, Mayhem was in great spirits, despite her loss, knowing that she straight up lost because she found herself to be too damn funny. Which in itself, is too damn funny. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for coming back for another iconic run. As they may keep getting shorter, but she always manages to leave a mark with whatever time she has. Obviously Mayhem always manages to bring the party, no matter what the situation, she I toasted her icon status and sent her on her way with a deliciously hot Mayham & Cheese Pithivller.

Don’t get your hopes up! Despite the name, this isn’t exactly a fancy dish. Essentially just a textured little pie, this pastry melts in your mouth as the ham and cheese serve perfect French brunch. Second only to La Grand Dame, obvi.

Enjoy!

Mayham & Cheese Pithivller
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
25g butter
25g flour
1 cup milk
salt and pepper, to taste
⅛ tsp nutmeg, finely grated
200g gruyere cheese, grated
2 sheets puff pastry
12 slices ham
1 egg, whisked

Method
Melt the butter in a pan over low heat and once it is starting to foam, whisk in the flour and cook for a couple of minutes, or until it is cohesive and cooked off. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk. Return to the heat, crank up to medium and cook, stirring, until it starts to thicken. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and add a pinch of nutmeg. Fold through half the cheese and stir until melted. Decant into a lined shallow baking dish, cover directly with skin and pop in the fridge to chill.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut the puff pastry into a 20 and a 21 centimetre circle. Pop the smaller one on a lined baking tray. Layer the base with a third of the ham, leaving a 2cm border around the edge. Top with a layer of chilled bechamel, then a third of the cheese. Repeat the process until you’re out of ham and cheese. Brush the edges with the egg and top with the second disc of pastry, pressing the edges of each disc of pastry together to seal. Trim excess pastry from the edges.

Using a knife, gently scallop for creative flair before brushing with egg wash and popping in the oven to bake for 30 minutes, or until golden. Then carve and devour.


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Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Austin and Dee were slowly but surely falling in love, forming an unbreakable alliance in the process alongside their fellow Rebas. When Drew decided it was time to get rid of Julie, he told Austin, reiterating that Dee can’t find out in the process. Obviously he told her, given he is smitten, and she immediately told Julie, directing Julie to play the idol she stole from Austin to get out Emily. And while Julie was tempted to take a shot at someone else and solidify her game, she ultimately stuck to her bestie Dee’s plan and eliminated Drew’s second bestie and our queen, Emily.

Back at camp everyone was awkward AF until Katurah congratulated Julie for saving herself. Julie meanwhile was trying to contain her excitement, though pretending to be annoyed at Dee for ‘blindsiding’ her to keep their closeness hidden. Austin meanwhile was glad that he didn’t have to waste his amulet, meaning he has guaranteed safe this episode. So swoon. Dee on the other hand was giving an Oscar winning performance, pretending to be gutted that Julie played her idol and was now worried she would now be Julie’s target. Dee and Austin caught up, with her assuring him she never told Julie, before they locked in a final three alliance. Drew dropped by, happily believing Julie’s reads are on point and that somebody’s acting wasn’t. Julie then arrived and made things awkward, questioning when they gave up on the Reba 4 and while it was cute, Drew couldn’t even look her in the eye. So goodbye Drew, I guess?

The next day Katurah got up early to make a start on finding the replaced idol to block Julie from getting it. Sadly for her, Dee and Austin realised she was awake and as such got hunting themselves. And while she didn’t find an idol, Austin found her and made things super awkward. Despite her explaining she was just trying to make sure Julie couldn’t find anything, he cautioned that spooking Julie could lead to her hunting even harder. Everyone returned to camp with Drew and Julie catching up to clear the air, as Drew pretended Reba 4 making it to the end is still viable, while she pointed out that she just doesn’t know how to trust him. Drew, on the other hand, told us that he is just swallowing his rage and still plans to get rid of her next. After delivering Drew back to camp, Julie asked to talk to Dee and both of them acted angry as they scurried away from camp before they started laughing at how well they managed to pull off the blindside. Dee laughed about swearing on everyone in her life and how she is still close with everyone, assuring Julie that Drew is the one coming for her and as such, they need to rally new numbers to get rid of him. Immediately.

The tribe met up with Probst for an epic reward challenge where they would race from the ocean and then barrel roll through a course to collect keys which they use to unlock a slide puzzle. With the first person to win scoring an epic picnic on a sandspit in the middle of the ocean. Which they will arrive at by helicopter. Austin powered out to an early lead with everyone nipping at his heels to varying degrees of success. Drew was first to close the gap, leaving the besties to fight it out on the puzzle, as everyone slowly made their way to fighting with them. Before Austin solved the puzzle out of nowhere and snatched reward. Obviously Probst asked him to select a friend to go with him, opting for Dee before Probst gave him one other person, which was Katurah, to keep Drew and Julie back at camp to guarantee nobody starts throwing out his name. Given they’re focused on getting each other out.

Back at camp, the world’s most awkward throuple popped on a pot of rice and lamented how shitty it was to miss out. Even though they all understand why Austin didn’t choose them. Julie awkwardly told Drew she could go grab some peppers with Jake to make sure Drew’s babysitting isn’t ruined. As Drew tossed the lid of the pot into the shore, the duo were busy hunting for idols and causing chaos and yeah, I love that for them. As they returned to the shelter, the helicopter did a flyby to prove they weren’t on reward, with Drew continuing to be salty.

On the helicopter, the trio were giddily enjoying the ride as Katurah realised she was third wheeling as Dee and Austin held hands and rubbed knees, and ugh, it was sweet and I love this story and am a little shocked it took so long for us to get here. Was the love story happening from the first episode? I want to know and I want them to get married, Boston Rob and Amber style. Just as they decreed. I mean, the supercut of the two of them blushing, talking about how much they love each other was adorbs, and I love love, ok?

Back at camp Drew was still miserable as they finally got to work cooking the rice, as Jake pretended to be going to get changed so he could hunt for an idol. Sadly for him, he found something, however it was just a clue. Directing him to find the idol in a secret compartment of the raft. He then stripped down to his underwear to keep his story up as he finally grabbed the idol, vowing to leverage it to earn him votes at the final tribal council.

The tribe came together with Probst for the latest immunity challenge where they would use a leg to balance a ball on a long paddle, with the last one standing guaranteeing themselves a spot in the final five. And given the paddle has a lip, I honestly don’t see how this is that difficult. And as soon as I wrote that, Julie and Jake dropped back to back within minutes. Katurah was next to go, followed by Drew after an epic save around the seven minute mark, leaving Dee and Austin to battle it out. With the lovebirds being shady about how easy they are finding the challenge. After surpassing the dreamteam’s winning time of 21 minutes, Austin started to wobble and dropped while Dee just did not move, earning herself immunity as Austin hobbled over to congratulate his girlfriend.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Dee on her epic victory as the lovebirds joked about being desperate to beat each other in every challenge. As Julie wandered off, Drew and Austin locked in Jake and Katurah on the Julie vote. Sadly for the boys, Jake knew he needed to do something bigger if he wants to win and as such, pulled Julie aside to float a Drew blindside instead. Which she was obviously thrilled about. Julie knew that Dee would also be down to write Drew too, though had to pretend it would be a harder sell to get majority. Jake quickly looped in Katurah who was down and while Katurah was confident she could convince Dee to join them, Jake didn’t want to get her onboard until after a tie, so she can’t claim the move as her own. Sadly for him, however, Katurah went to Dee and suggested that she would love to get rid of Drew giving her yet another feather in her cap.

Dee then pulled Drew aside to talk about how cleanly the merge has gone for him, loving how closely he and Austin have worked together, looking towards greats like JT and Stephen, and Tyson and Gervase. As he hoped it would all stay together so they can make it to the end. Dee and Austin caught up by the shore, with Dee worried about whether she should loop him in on the blindside, given he could easily play his idol for Drew and pull off the move she did just last week. Leaving her to battle between her head and her heart.

At tribal council Austin spoke about how grateful he was to not get much blowback for picking Katurah to go on reward and leave the kids to babysit. Julie joked about her kids turning on her, while Katurah spoke about how well the tribe are compartmentalising given they like each other but are all fighting hard to win. Drew and Dee spoke about how the relationships are also making things more difficult, as everyone is also lying to each other. Drew meanwhile shared that if he makes it through tonight, he feels like he has a very clear path to the end. Which Julie pointed out was a blessing, given she can’t even see how she could possibly get to the four let alone three. Before Drew gave a lovely analogy about how difficult Julie’s path is to the end, while Julie made a plea for everyone to play smart. Talk turned to how people are now thinking about who they want to face at the end, with Dee admitting she has a plan but knows that it is unlikely for anyone to get the exact final three they’re hoping for.

With that the tribe voted, Austin played his idol for himself and his closest ally not called Dee, Drew found himself blindsided from the game. As Austin looked on at Dee, heartbroken. Before we could find out whether it was the end of my favourite lovers, I ventured to Ponderosa to try and cheer up Drew because he was, in a word, pissed. Super pissed. I tried to pull him in for a hug to assure him that going out just before the finale is generally better to being cut first in the finale, however given he was so confident in his path forward, he wasn’t having it. That is until he had a Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish or five.

The earthy pistachio and tart, juicy plums work perfectly to counteract the crisp, fresh pastry. Flavourful, decadent and melt in your mouth, these danishes have the power to turn around even the worst of moods.

Enjoy!

Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g pistachios
250g unsalted butter, at room temperature
250g raw caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 sheets good-quality butter puff pastry, quartered
8 davidson plums, pitted and sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 200ºC. Pop the nuts on a baking tray and toast in the oven for 5-10 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool (though leave the oven on).

Once the nuts have cooled a little, pop 200g of them in a food processor and blitz until they have formed a meal-like consistency and no further. Add the butter, sugar, vanilla and eggs and blitz until well combined.

To assemble, cut the squares of pastry into circles, spoon a dollop of the pistachio mixture in the middle and top with some plum, leaving a 2cm rim around the edge. Roughly chop the remaining nuts and sprinkle over the top. Pop in the oven and bake for twenty minutes, or until golden, puffed and crisp. Then, obviously, devour.


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Katella Danitch

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls starred in high-end English drama screen tests. And after dominating the puppet mini-challenge, Ginger was able to lock in the pairs. Wisely taking Kate for herself and splitting up Tomara and Michael, so they wouldn’t rival them as a comedic powerhouse. Obviously Kate and Ginger slayed the most with Kate finally take out her first win of the season. Despite struggling through filming, DeDe and Tomara were demented messes. Cara meanwhile struggled to give light and shade while Michael was read for not doing more. As such, they were arbitrarily popped in the bottom, where Michael sent poor Cara home.

Backstage the dolls were gagged by the fact Cara went home, none more so than Michael who was overwhelmed with emotion about almost going home. And having to send Cara out the door to save herself. Everyone spoke about how this elimination felt different to the others and that they were at a loss for words. Well, except for Kate, who joked that Michael shouldn’t be, given Cara left a mirror message for her to read. The dolls sat down and finally praised Kate for a well earned win, with she and Ginger telling Michael that Ru couldn’t take her eyes off her during the lip sync. DeDe meanwhile admitted she thought Michael would be going home and while everyone felt it was in poor taste, they got her back by reading her for absolute filth.

The next day Tomara was ready to sink her veneers into the next challenge, while everyone admired Kate’s badge. Well maybe not DeDe, given she is the only person without one now. Before anyone could read her for that, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be welcoming a new addition into their families. That’s right, it’s the makeover challenge! And this year, they would be doing-up charity hotline workers. And for winning the last challenge, Kate was able to pair them up. DeDe was paired with an absolute zaddy, Jamie. Ginger got the other zaddy, the bearded Rodrigo, just what she didn’t want. Michael was connected with old cutie daddy DILF Peter while Tomara got gorgeous young Gemma, leaving Kate with cool icon Xan.

After Ru left, the dolls split up to get to know their dolls, with Ginger learning her partner’s dissertation was about Drag Race. And when he agreed to shave off his beard, they were in love. Ginger opened up about Rodrigo being her first child and ugh, I love it. DeDe was falling in love with Jamie, vowing to serve family resemblance in a different way. So you know Michelle will hate it. Ginger meanwhile was popping Rodrigo in heels and while she struggled, Ginger was so supportive, I love it. Kate and Xan were busy kiking about the hotline before a hard pivot into the plan for the performance, with Kate delighting her with the ONJ plan for their looks. Tomara meanwhile was delighting Gemma, laughing it up and having an absolute ball. Michael and Peter were just vibing. And while Michael was nervous about Peter struggling, she could also tell he was ready to have a ball and may just be her best asset.

Ru made her return with Ginger and Rodrigo having her in stitches, while Ru was very focused on the fact Rodrigo has a beard. Kate meanwhile was thrilled to have her win and hoping for a double, if she could make Xan as ugly as her. And hearing her talk about the charity, I don’t think that is possible, TBH, as she is just beautiful. DeDe continued to swoon around Jamie, which only got worse when Ru asked Jamie if she’d have a meaty tuck. Making DeDe confident she will grab a win. Michael on the other hand gushed about Peter, excited for him to be able to let his freak flag fly and embrace his diva. She then opened up about lip syncing to Liza Minelli as a kid and condragulations Michael, Geezer Minelli just jagged you your second win. While Tomara and Gemma were cute, Ru got in their heads about how heavy the wigs are.

After Ru left, Ginger tried to talk Rodrigo through tucking, even enlisting Tomara to explain how to suck the testicles back into her body. Xan meanwhile locked in Femily Bronte as a drag name, while DeDe worried her outfits weren’t similar enough. While Michael and Peter focused on walking, and Tomara was cackling over how big the wig looked on Gemma.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get their daughters ready. Ginger with a ceremonial shave of Rodrigo. Michael and Peter meanwhile spoke about growing up queer, with Peter sharing a moment when he was watching a TV show with a queer character and how his dad told him it was brave. Sadly he didn’t think it was as brave when he came out, with his parents sending him to the doctor who told him that he wasn’t gay, given his wrists weren’t limp. Thankfully his parents did accept him, with Peter then moving on to opening up about his first few boyfriends dying and how he joined the hotline to help throughout the AIDS crisis. And again, condragulations Peter, you’re an icon. DeDe meanwhile was still horny for Jamie. I assume, maybe it is just me. Tomara and Gemma were talking about the latter’s girlfriend, while Jamie was equally horny for herself in drag.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the panel by the legendary Daphne Guinness as the Drag Family Resemblance runway kicked off with DeDe and BeBe giving 80s party girls. And while it was cute, you know the judges will read her for making DeDe look better than BeBe. Kate and Femily gave gay Grease and it was cute, but not family, tragically, despite being an ode to the trans flag. Michael and Geezer meanwhile absolute slayed, giving charm and glam and while Geezer couldn’t walk, the way Michael raised her up has to be a win with the judges. Giant G and Tomara looked like the campest outcasts from Clueless, Ginger and Ruiva gave glam ‘60s long-lost sisters and well, Ruiva was living it up and full of camp. And is this another Ginger win?

After Ru thanked the drag babies, the judges praised Jamie for being a zaddy and while they lived for DeDe’s work, they hated the lack of family resemblance. Kate and Femily while delightful, gave even less resemblance than DeDe. Though Kate was thrilled by the fact Daphne called her makeup mesmerising, so thats a win to her. Michael and Geezer received 10s across the board for each and every thing she did. Michael’s pared back makeup was a win, Geezer nailing the walk was delightful and well, everyone was moved by just how great Peter was. Geezer then delighted the judges with jokes before opening up about how this experience has relaxed him and how he finally feels whole. And he wants to share love with everyone and shit, I am crying. Tiny T and Giant G were praised for selling all the fun, giving big hair and all the family. While Ginger and Ruiva were universally beloved, despite giving Trixie and Bianca, which is hilarious. And true. As was the fact their looks were perfect, as were their hair and make-up.

Backstage the dolls toasted their sisters, thanking them for doing them all so proud. Ginger was thrilled to definitely not be in the bottom, and quietly optimistic this could be her fourth win. Michael meanwhile heaped her daughter in praise, thanking her for all she did. Kate’s daughter thanked her for a fun day, while BeBe opened up about being shocked by how beautiful she was. While Giant G just vibed hard. Tomara turned their attention to the lip sync, with DeDe and Kate ready to go given they know they got the worst critiques. And while DeDe was all laughs, Kate was a little more disappointed.

Ultimately Kate was sent straight to the bottom before Tomara was sent to safety. Michael was then deemed the winner of this week’s challenge as Peter nearly broke into tears backstage. Ginger was then sent to safety, leaving DeDe as the final person in the bottom. Though once again, she was ready to send a badge holder home. Despite the confidence, as soon as Rina Sawayama’s This Hell kicked off, it was clear that Kate wasn’t going to be as easy a win as she wanted. She gave drama and camp and you could tell she did not want to go home. Sadly for Miss Butch, though, DeDe was demented and funny and had the judges in stitches, so she did manage to save herself yet again, leaving Kate to sadly exit.

As Kate returned to the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug, pulled back, looked in her face and screamed. Thankfully, she knew I was just joking about how the judges read her make-up over the season, given she has gone from strength to strength each week and TBH, will be able to go all the way on All Stars. But that is another conversation for another time. I assured her that she was an icon over the course of her run, and that the public, like me, will love seeing her take over the world in a Trixie-esque fashion, TBH. And that was all it took to perk her back up, though I’m sure the Katella Danitch didn’t hurt either!

If there are two things I love in life, they are pastry and nutella. And given this little baby combines them both, you know I think they’re perfection. Flaky party and velevety nutella work together to provide a melt in the mouth snack that washes away the pain of being underappreciated by Ru. Not that I’ve had to worry about that before.

Enjoy!

Katella Danitch
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ½ cup nutella
½ cup icing sugar
1 egg
3 sheets good-quality butter puff pastry, quartered
½ cup roasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat the oven to 200ºC. 

Beat a cup of the nutella with the icing sugar and egg until smooth and glorious.

To assemble, place the puff on a clean bench and cut into to long strips. Divide the mixture between the six layers and smooth down the pastry leaving 10cm at each short end, but going right up to the long edges. If that makes sense, because it does in my head. Part fold-part roll to form a loose domed rectangle. Pop on a lined baking sheet, brush with the remaining nutella and sprinkle with the nuts.

Transfer the danishes into the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and puffed. And then, devour, like an icon in need of a non-tree crutch.


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Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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Sausage Heidi N Tartlets

Breakfast, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the competition was well and truly starting to get to Heidi, as she worried that the judges weren’t feeling her this season despite solid performances week after week. Speaking of which, the dolls were tasked with starring in commercials for new prestige TV shows, where Heidi and Lala gave delightfully demented performances. Kandy asked Heidi about her moment in Untucked before the runway, which irked the former Miss Congeniality who threatened to spill tea to burn things down. In the sketches, Jaymes, Darienne and Alexis landed in the bottom, with Alexis gladly throwing Darienne under the bus for their predicament. Jimbo on the other hand rightly won her second challenge – despite Heidi and Lala’s killer work – and discovered she would be losing the lip sync to Shannel before Darienne, the icon, was sent to the house by the girls.

Backstage Jimbo was on cloud nine to have secured her place as the front runner while Jaymes was simply thrilled to have survived. And most importantly, have more closet space since she and Darienne shared a station. Talk turned to Heidi serving all the ass and after they pinned the tail on her, talk turned to the votes with everyone gagged to finally have a unanimous one, aside from Darienne’s vote for her friend Jaymes. Jimbo then added some spice, pretending she had pulled Alexis’ lipstick, but ultimately pulled out Darienne’s name too and while everyone was cackling with the Canadian icon, Alexis knew that as the frontrunner, all the girls now definitely had their eyes on her.

The next day the dolls were thrilled for another fresh start, none more so than Alexis who was hoping to get fresh with Lala. Before they could get physical, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game of Love. Which feels kinda fitting, no? They split up to talk through THE challenge, with Lala nervous to be popping her cherry, though hopeful to slay as Sukihana. Jessica shared she will be playing PR icon Iris Chacon, Jaymes is FINALLY bringing Jennifer Coolidge to the stage and ugh, I stan. Alexis pulled Jimbo aside to talk through the pressure of having won Snatch Games in the past and you know Alexis is confident to repeat as Bea Arthur. And well, she did a lot of study. Jimbo meanwhile wasn’t worried about the pressure, creating joyful chaos and getting piggybacks.

She moved on to helping clean Lala’s titties before Ru dropped by to kiki with the dolls, with her thrilled to see Kahanna had prepared with a jar of cheetos. So yes, she will be playing her mama Coco and damn I hope she makes her proud. Jimbo delighted Ru with the fact she’ll be playing Shirley Temple and while Ru has very high expectations, I am sure Jimbo can meet them. Heidi will be serving as Blackbeard and after opening up to Ru about struggling with the pressure of the competition, Ru reiterated she just wants her to have fun. So have fun, Heidi assured us, she will have!

We transitioned to the Snatch Game set where we met Heidi as Blackbird, Jessica as Iris, Kahanna as Coco and Jaymes as Jennifer Coolidge who’d be fighting for the affections of snatchelor #1 Matt Rogers. From the first moment, this was Jaymes’ show, dominating from the word hiiiiiiii. Heidi meanwhile was stupid and so much fun – until Kahanna struggled and she got shady – Kahanna was stuck with one note and Jessica was charming, but nothing else. So obviously Matt chose Jaymes as Jennifer as the winner. Competing for the affections of snatchelor #2, Brisbane’s own Bowen Yang, were Alexis as my girl Bea Arthur, Kandy went with Mob Wife Renee Graziano, Lala’s Sukihana and Shirley Temple and ugh, just give her that third win now. Jimbo was funny, she was demented and oh so perfect, and while Alexis gave us a stunning Bea, Kandy was a ratchet icon and Lala was high energy, there was no stopping the stupidity of Jimbo taking Bowen’s heart.

Oh and then Matt and Bowen lip synced and it was stunning.

Elimination Day arrived with Jimbo tapping her way in, no doubt knowing she is about to collect another win. Kandy then borrowed the Shirley wig and shoes for her own little interlude before Jimbo and Alexis spoke about how much fun they had together and how fun it was to give each other space to play. Kahanna meanwhile pulled Kandy aside to talk about feeling upset about how Heidi treated her during the Snatch Game, leading to Kandy talking about Heidi going to Jimbo off camera and telling her that Kandy was coming for her. Jessica meanwhile was nervous, though hoping she did enough to scrape by. Alexis then checked in on Kahanna and she told her she was ok until Heidi started coming for her mid-challenge, given she was already down, after which she spiralled.

Heidi was shocked that Kahanna felt she was coming for her, thinking she was giving her something to volley and help her land a joke. Kahanna wasn’t having it however and while Heidi apologised, Jaymes also mentioned to us that Heidi played it exactly how Snatch Game is meant to be played. Kandy then asked why Heidi told Jimbo she was coming for her when she didn’t, with Heidi backing herself and assuring her sisters that it definitely happened and Alexis was even present to confirm it. And while she agreed at first, she immediately backpedalled with Heidi saying that she straight up told her she would send Jimbo home if she was in the bottom. The four of them all fought back and forth, with Jimbo just feeling awkward to be stuck between two friends. Everyone was in silence before Heidi told Jimbo that she just told her what she heard and to remember this when it comes time to vote. All of them, as she was done.

After barely a moment to catch our breath, Heidi told everyone how much she hates how this has become and what it has done to them all, so instead of leaving things up to chance, she instead opted to tap out immediately. As she exited, Kandy and Alexis followed to try and get her to change her mind but alas, there was nothing they could do. As Heidi assured everyone that she loved them as she fought back tears and ran for the exit.

As she made it outside, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that the judges and the viewing audience all love her and know how talented she is. And while I hated to see her go before the finale – because you know she deserved a place at the end with Jimbo – I understood that like Adore and DeLa before her, she knew when it was time to go to look after herself and since she more than proved herself a star on her first season, all that was left for me to do was toast her success with a fresh batch of Sausage Heidi N Tartlets.

Breakfast is my favourite meal of the day, and when you throw in sausage and pastry, I am honestly in heaven. Delicate egg carries little spiced nuggets of sausage, feta and tomato, as your teeth break at gloriously flaky crust – need I say more?

Enjoy!

Sausage Heidi N Tartlets
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
4 pork sausages
8 eggs
⅓ cup cream
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 sheets of puff pastry
1 punnet cherry tomatoes, halved
2 tbsp chives, sliced
200g feta, crumbled

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Pop a skillet over medium heat and once hot, remove the sausages from the casings and pop little meatballs into the pan to cook, stirring, for about five minutes or until cooked through and starting to crisp. Remove from the heat and transfer to some paper towel to drain.

In a large bowl, whisk the eggs and cream with a good whack of salt and pepper. Cut the pastry into 9 squares and press into muffin tins. Divide the tomatoes between the pastry, followed by the sausage, chives and then some feta, before topping with the egg mixture.

Transfer to the oven to bake for about 20 minutes, or until golden and puffed, before devouring, like a soft and supple icon.


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Turkarolyn Wigerllington

Main, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the final four arrived at the top of the mountain – literally and figuratively – to compete in the epic final simmotion immunity challenge. And despite us, or at least me, rooting for Carolyn to dominate the challenge, she was the first to go before Heidi surprised herself with the win. Despite having a guaranteed spot in the final three, Heidi decided the best shot at taking out the win, was to pull a Chris Underwood and go to fire against Carson and just like him, she re-earnt her place in the final three – in record time, no less – as Carson found himself becoming the final juror.

The final three woke up early on Day 26, overwhelmed to make it to the end, while Yam Yam was just nervous about sounding stupid at the final tribal council. With Carolyn assuring him, she will sound stupider. Yam Yam opened up to us that he feels he played a strong game, but he knows that it doesn’t really matter what he thinks though and as such, he needs to use his words like weapons to win the jury over. The jury, though, praised him for perfectly riding the middle and winning everyone over, always making them feel like they were part of his plan so they wouldn’t turn on him.

As they sat down for breakfast, Heidi shared that she is proud of how she played, particularly since she took a massive risk at the end to solidify her resume. With the jury just hoping she can reiterate her game, should she want their vote. Carolyn meanwhile was nervous about her self-confidence getting her down. She admitted to us that she is so shocked to have made it to the end, given she never even expected to make the merge. And now her biggest challenge is to convince the jury that being emotional was the smartest way for her to play. Which they seem to agree with, so let’s all hope she doesn’t overthink it and secures the crown like she – and us – deserve.

At the final tribal council Jeffrey reminded everyone how the night would proceed, before Kane kicked things off by assuring the final three all votes were up in the air and as such, they should answer honestly. He then asked what they felt the jury perceives them, with Yam Yam joking that they all love him and see him as happy go lucky, though suggested that they perceived he followed Carson when in fact the Tika trio were a strong alliance. While Heidi tried to call bullshit, Yam Yam pointed out that following Soka was what they wanted them to think at the merge. Heidi meanwhile spoke about playing a social game, though knew she had to do the fire making challenge to have a shot. Carolyn admitted she was shocked to make it to the end, given she was the weird kid that was underestimated and by forming solid bonds with Carson and Yam Yam, she was able to thrive.

Carson admitted he knows how great Yam Yam and Carolyn are, so asked Heidi to explain how she played, admitting that everyone in Soka was strong and as such, come merge, she had to navigate around that perception to survive. Heidi continued to try to undermine Yam Yam, before Danny asked how Yam Yam used Carson, with him admitting he didn’t use Carson but in fact used EVERYONE to make it further. Danny then asked Heidi how she used shields, with her wisely saying she hid behind him specifically to make it further.

Frannie meanwhile took things to the social side – queen – asking them how they leveraged or managed emotion to navigate the game. Right on cue, Carolyn started to get emotional, talking about her journey with addiction and how seeking treatment taught her how to feel her emotions and while she knew that made her game difficult at times, she also used it to sell her choices. Yam Yam admitted while he is emotional, he struggled with the players that kept their guards up like Brandon and Jamie, however he was perceptive enough to learn when people lied to him and as such, navigated around their tells. While Heidi continued to give a textbook performance, saying that her game was more than just about winning but representing people that are different. Because as a latina woman in science, she works with all men and is always expected to keep her emotions in check. And yes, Heidi, work.

Sweet Matt then thanked them all for being themselves and told them that he is proud.

Talk turned to the challenges with our resident beast asking how they felt about them, with Carolyn shocked by how badly she bombed each and every challenge. She admitted her letter from home broke her heart, given her son told her he hoped she would win challenges and while it broke her, she knew to only speak positively about herself. Heidi then praised Carolyn for being an inspiration and for never giving up and ugh, it is so sweet. Carson asked Heidi about the final immunity challenge, admitting that she felt like she had no chance at winning if she didn’t win fire, though knew that taking out the brains of the operation was her best shot. Oh and if they vote for her, they could break another record if they vote for her, as she’d be the first Puerto Rican and oldest female to win. Yam Yam meanwhile opened up about his physical family and how channelling them is what helped him win immunity.

Oh and if they vote for him, he’d be the first Puerto Rican male to win.

Carson directed things to strategy, dropping stats about how well Carolyn played with her admitting that having a tight alliance helped her make it to the end. She pointed out that nobody expected she had the idol and while Yam Yam suggested she played it needlessly, she reiterated she trusted him but not the others and as such, she preferred a guarantee. Danny then questioned why he was the target, with her admitting he appeared to be running things and as such, she knew taking him out would help set her up. Yam Yam meanwhile spoke about his social game and the ability to win people over it. More importantly, that is what helped him stay abreast of everything and know the best path forward. While Heidi with the worst voting record – 67% – spoke about being forced into adapting her game, though when she played from the bottom she realised how much bigger than the money the game can be. She then gave a great speech about coming to America with nothing and how proud of herself she is with the life she has built.

With that the jury finally voted and tragically, for some reason, none of those people felt it appropriate to vote for Carolyn as she landed in third. Obviously I stormed the set and ushered Carolyn aside, bursting into tears in her arms and screaming about how disappointed in the jury I was. I mean, Carson was stage-moming hard all throughout the final tribal council and nobody gave us who would have been the greatest winner of all time. Even better than Sandra and Parvati. Carolyn being Carolyn however, took it in her stride and while she admitted she was disappointed that she was proud of the winner, and more importantly, herself and as such, she gladly sat down to celebrate with a big, fat Turkarolyn Wigerllington.

This poultry take on the beef wellington is just as rich and luscious as the OG. Rich, earthy and a little kick of spice thanks to the chorizo, it is the perfect way to refresh a festive meal.

Enjoy!

Turkarolyn Wigerllington
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
4 sheets puff pastry
½ cup cranberry sauce
½ cup parmesan cheese
4-8 sage leaves
1.5kg turkey breasts, sliced into 1cm thick steaks
500g fresh chorizo, skins removed and discarded
1 cup breadcrumbs
1 bunch spinach, roughly chopped and wilted
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 egg

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C and line a couple of baking sheets.

Place the pastry on a bench and smear with some cranberry sauce before sprinkling with parmesan cheese and placing 1-2 sage leaves in the middle. Divide the turkey breast in the middle on top of the sage.

Combine the chorizo, breadcrumbs, spinach, cinnamon and chilli in a bowl, scrunching together with your hands. Divide into four and form into little sausages, placing lengthways in the middle of the turkey.

Whisk the egg and brush the edges of all the pastry. Fold in the ends and then roll into a large parcel, pressing the edge to seal. Transfer to the baking sheets, seam down, and repeat with each wellington.

Pop the wellingtons in the oven to bake for 80 minutes, or until the pastry is golden and puffed. Remove from the oven and rest for ten minutes before serving with your favourite sides – Simon Potato Baker Denny for life – and devouring, like the queen that you are regardless of the jury.


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Almond & Cherry Geltch Danish

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after the boys tragically removed Shonee from the jury in the surprise final non-elimination, the final four finally faced off in their final immunity challenge. Set on the same cliff face that housed the iconic moment Kirstie convinced Lee to step off his perch, they would stand in torture devices as JLP turned a crank to further extend spearheads into their back with the last one standing guaranteeing their spot in the final three. After rolling out their loved ones – featuring the iconic Duchess of Double Bay, Cara “I’ve Cooked It” Atchison – they took their places before the Olympian took out immunity, forcing the boys to turn on each other. Despite Gerry’s plea to be voted out and let George stay, the newbies held firm as Liz finally got revenge and sent George to the jury.

The next day the final three awoke to watch the sunrise before Liz spoke about how difficult it was to vote out George, despite how great she felt to have gotten revenge for the legendary Shonee. Knowing the jury was made up of only returnees, the feeling was that they will reward gameplay, despite Liz being a little nervous about the fact it was also very hero heavy. After collecting their feast from treemail, Matt spoke about how much of an honour it was to make it to the end and make his family proud. Gerry was equally surprised, thrilled to have made it to the end despite being the oldest contestant in history. He then opened up about how much the victory would mean to him, given COVID ruined his business and he could now actually repay his family and rebuild his life. Before they all panicked about getting their pitches right.

At the final tribal council everyone took their places on the relevant benches before Jonathan explained how the evening would proceed as Liz kicked off the opening statements, talking about how she came in as a physical threat and that she has proven herself week after week. Despite that, she had no experience in the game and as such, absorbed all the wisdom of George, Shonee, Simon and Jordie to sharpen her skills. She built many alliances, forged via her stellar social game, but nothing compares to the fact that she was able to bide her time before finally getting revenge and taking out George. At the toughest position, as final juror. She then doubled and tripled down on the George vote being solely her move as Matt looked on awkwardly.

And damn, she is off to a strong start.

Speaking of Matt, he spoke about how he came out here driven to win for his family by building close social bonds. He outlined all the moments he was selfless, talking about how those moves made him a perfect person to flip without being noticed. Also he won three immunity challenges like Liz, but with an extra vote to boot. While Gerry was far less polished and intense, this time keeping it brief, telling everyone he is the oldest to ever play and he was thrilled to buck the trend of becoming a first boot. He fought through an injury and being deemed disposable, which ultimately led to him changing up his game and focusing on revenge against the Heroes. And well, he rode George to the end as his partner. And you best believe, he never missed when casting a vote.

We flipped over to the jury where Sam congratulated everyone on making it to the end before asking how Liz was proactive, with her articulating that she had to hit the ground running to simply survive against returnees. She then powered through the swap phase, building new alliances and then dominating at the merge. Simon then asked Gerry how he had control throughout the game, with him explaining you can’t succeed in this game by yourself and as such, he was steering the ship with George and while everyone looked sceptical, George confirmed it was true. Speaking of George he then congratulated them on making it to the end, asking Liz and Matt to articulate which move they made in the game that wasn’t instigated by him. Matt quickly tried to take ownership of getting him out, which Liz promptly shut down, telling him that a decision after the immunity challenge isn’t equal to her biding her time after the Shonee vote until it was the right time to strike. At final four, when she knew he would be vulnerable.

Matt then tried to say he considered working with Simon after the Hayley vote but ultimately didn’t, which TBH, doesn’t matter as it didn’t happen. Which is exactly what George told him, as he scolded him for not actually being able to name one, reiterating that he’d love to vote for him if he can name something. Liz then jumped in, because lol, telling George that there were many moments that she and Shonee spent time working behind the scenes to sneakily turn the tide against him, using saving Flick at the Stevie vote as an example as she continued to knock the question out of the park.

Hayley then asked Gerry if there was anything he regretted in his game, with him saying he doesn’t have any regrets and that he is proud of the game he played. He spoke about the 30 year age gap between him and the rest of the cast, and how he invested so much time in overcoming having nothing in common with anyone, leading to Sam patronising him about being terrible with human interaction. Which is a bit of a lol, given who it is coming from. Shaun then jumped in to say that he and David only spoke footy because it was their job, ripping Gerry for never taking an interest in him, pointing out that he has many things in common with Gerry, like hiking, however Gerry just never bothered to ask. 

Queen Hayley tried to get things back on track, asking them why they deserve to win, with Gerry talking about how the game gave him a new lease on life and whether they vote for him or not, he is a winner. Liz meanwhile spoke about how she has played an interesting, exciting game and was scrappy as she played from the bottom, being the last woman, last newbie and last Villain standing and she is ready to take out the crown that she rightly deserves. Given she expertly straddled the line between Heroes and Villains. While we got nothing from Matt, which is kinda sucky for him, given it makes it abundantly clear he isn’t winning.

With that the jury voted before JLP wheeled out the final three’s loved ones and got to work counting the votes, with Liz taking it out unanimously. Like an absolute boss. I pulled Gerry aside to congratulate him on a game well played, because despite being shut out by the jury, there is no denying that he really played the game as George’s partner. Despite a lot of those instances – the Stevie vote in particular – being a calculated move on George’s part to let him make the choice, Gerry more than Matt had agency throughout the game. Which more than earned him a piping hot celebratory Almond & Cherry Geltch Danish.

It feels kind fitting that both Gerry and George were bequeathed danishes on their first attempts at the crown, though I would argue Gez got the better version. Sticky, sweet and oh so moreish, this cherry and almonds are the perfect pairing to toasting the great man.

Enjoy!

Almond & Cherry Geltch Danish
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
2 sheets frozen puff pastry, partially thawed
350g cherry jam
¾ cup toasted slivered almonds, plus extra to top
1 egg
1 ½ teaspoon raw caster sugar
½ cup icing sugar
2 tsp milk
¼ tsp almond extract

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Place the puff pastry on a lined baking sheet and spread the cherry jam down the centre third of each, leaving a two centimetre border at the top and bottom, before sprinkling the almonds on top of each.

Use a sharp knife to make diagonal cuts, along both long sides of the pastry, cutting until you almost hit the preserves. Starting at the top, fold the strips over the filling, alternating sides until you make it to the end, before pinching to seal.

Combine the egg and sugar with a tablespoon of water and whisk to double. Brush over the top of each and sprinkle with the extra almonds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 25 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove and leave to rest for five minutes.

Finally, combine the icing sugar, milk and almond extract in a jug and drizzle over the warm danishes, before devouring.


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Popbeef Capriness

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the biggest cast in herstory arrived in two little groups, each anticipating to compete in a little talent show. Little did they know, however, that Ruple and Co had grander plans for them all, bringing them together after their throwback mini challenges for one big ol’ talent show. And unlikely the last few years, one of the dolls would be exiting after said first challenge. While the show ended up being a sea of lip syncs – because, duh, they are performers – Anetra absolutely slayed, karate chopping her way into the first victory of the season. At the other end of the pack Loosey struggled singing live, while Amethyst and Irene struggled with premature e-joke-ulation and a complete lack of laughs which landed them in the bottom. And poor Irene a place in the Porkchop Club.

Backstage the dolls rallied around Amethyst, though were mainly gagged by the fact the competition is real and one by one they will go home. Thankfully that obvious revelation was brushed aside as Sugar or Spice asked Robin and Amethyst to talk about their brief relationship with both dolls insinuating they were the ones to end things. Mistress meanwhile was grateful that Loosey stuck around as she felt she had more to show, which well and truly fired up Loosey who felt she didn’t even deserve to be in the bottom and as such was pissed and ready to prove herself.

The next day the dolls were thrilled to still be alive in the competition before Ru straight up interrupted any chat to announce this week’s Maxi Challenge, designing infomercials to sell us on the Queerafter. And as Anetra won, she would be the Team Captain of one team, lip sync victor Amethyst would lead the second and the third team – finally – would be made up of the leftovers. Which is messy and iconic and I love the producers for it. Anetra’s selected Luxx, Sasha, Salina and Marcia cubed while Amethyst went with Loosey, Aura, Spice and Poppy leaving Sugar, Mistress, Jax, Malaysia and Robin to form team all the rest, here on Gilligan’s Island.

With that Ru departed with the leftovers instantly fired up by the slight and ready to prove themselves while Anetra’s team immediately decreed Sasha as God and as such, she should play her in the ‘mercial. And their plot can just come second to that. Team Amethyst was throwing out all the ideas which made Loosey feel more and more anxious about proving herself, while Jax was busy trying to wrangle the leftovers as Sugar threw out all the ideas. Most of which, TBH, were good. And when they shut her down, her disappointment was bleedingly obvious to everyone except her team, apparently.

Team Leftovers were first up to shoot with Michelle and well, let’s just say they should have listened to Sugar given she was the only one that was remotely prepared or entertaining. Team Sasha-Colby-getting-the-label-she-deserves appeared to be getting the fake out edit as Sasha got in her head and struggled through the entire shoot. And by ‘appeared’ we’re getting the fake out, I bloody hope so. Meanwhile Team Amethyst’s script was confusing to Michelle, disappointing future WGA Award hopeful Princess Poppy. 

Elimination Day arrived with everyone energised and ready to turn it on the runway as Sugar and Spice caught up about what happened with their infomercials, with Sugar feeling like nobody is taking her seriously. Jax and Aura meanwhile were busy kiki-ing with Jax calling out the team for having too many big personalities, leaving her to pull everything together solo. Talk turned to religion with Malaysia opening up about her religious upbringing and how it impacted her coming into her self acceptance as a queer person, thankful for her luck at having a supporting family. As she sobbed Mistress opened up about her similar upbringing, sans a supporting family and as such, she cut off her family when she was 17 and opened up about how it was drag that saved her and pulled her out of poverty.

Ru, Michelle and TS were joined on the panel by Maren Morris as the dolls kicked off the Metallica runway with Anetra slaying in a foil warrior look. Sasha was stunning as a silver phoenix, Salina gave disco ball streetlamp, Luxx was a Grecian aflame in gold, Marcia was a sexy tin wo-man, Amethyst gave ruffled golden diva, Poppy looked like a space Sailor Moon, Spice gave the upcycled version, Aura again gave Power Ranger realness as a moon warrior – though this time, it was intentional – Loosey gave slutty space housewife, Jax went with Mortal Kombat realness, Robin was a golden warrior, Mistress was stunning in golden chains and a frill neck lizard embellishment while Sugar looked like Lizzie McGuire’s end performance in the movie. While Malaysia was stunning in a glam, silver gown.

When it came to the infomercials, Team Anetra’s was thankfully a fake out – you could tell Michelle wasn’t annoyed when giving direction – as Sasha slayed with glam and gags and ugh, I live. They had throwbacks to past seasons, shade and sex. But well, it was totally the Sasha show as she kept breaking her neck to transition scenes which obviously had Ru in hysterics. Team Amethyst was all sex all the time, until Loosey stole the show as their god, Dolly Parton. Which is correct. Team Leftovers meanwhile was Sugar’s show as the annoying straight girls at the club, while the rest of the dolls were stuck in their own personal hells.

Anetra, Salina, Marcia cubed, Spice, Aura, Robin, Mistress, Sugar and Malaysia were deemed safe before the judges lavished all the praise on Sasha. She listened to direction, she was hilarious and most importantly, she looked perfect. Because she is Sasha. Luxx was praised for a stunning runway and for serving all the comedy in the performance. Amethyst was read for once again not being funny while Michelle encouraged her to embrace her nose rather than hide it when painting her face. Princess meanwhile was read for fading into the background and for looking nice on the runway, but nothing more before Loosey received her praise for playing it smart in the infomercial and for looking stunning. Jax meanwhile was read for not padding or synching and not looking the best during the challenge. Never mind the fact their infomercial was a mess.

Backstage the safe queens were thrilled to be safe, while Anetra was excited to be able to get to know her sisters a little better since she was busy getting critiques the week before. Marcia was glad to get a turn to relax, though was disappointed to hear Michelle mock her make-up during her walk with Mistress giving her tips like the mother she is. Malaysia meanwhile was bitter to have not gotten the chance to hear from the judges, while Mistress continued to be iconic and said she was ready to get her moment when it happens and knows she can’t be good at everything. Robin meanwhile was glad that most of her team were safe, particularly since they were the leftovers. Which made Mistress step in to be an icon once again, pointing out she was shocked she wasn’t picked first. Like she deserved. Talk turned to Jax in the challenge and how she steamrolled without slaying, with Mistress asking Sugar why she didn’t clap back at her when she was mean and while Sugar admitted she struggles with speaking up, Mistress assured her that if she wants to be her daughter, she needs to defend herself and have confidence.

And again, I love their bond.

Aura then got shady over the leftovers video, despite only Team Anetra’s being good. That summoned the tops and bottoms with everyone praising Sasha for slaying every moment this week. Particularly the neck cracks. Jax meanwhile opened up about how the judges kinda hated everything she did, quickly blaming taking control of the script and her sisters ad libbing for her predicament. Poppy meanwhile mocked herself, saying the judges lived for everything she served rather than hated that she faded into the background and isn’t standing out. She then opened up that she was thinking about quitting drag last year and as such, she isn’t bothered if she is eliminated given she just didn’t want to be the first boot. Poor Amethyst meanwhile started to sob about not doing well, questioning whether she is just making a joke of herself. Oh and then everyone congratulated Loosey for giving a killer Dolly before Maren Morris dropped by to kiki with the girls and while I didn’t know anything about her before she jumped on the panel, I love how sweet she was with the dolls.

Ultimately Loosey and Luxx were sent to safety as Sasha took out her first victory of the season before Jax narrowly avoided the bottom – with a challenge from Ru to step her pussy up – as Amethyst returned to the bottom two, this time with Princess Poppy for company. As soon as my girl Diana Ross’ version of Ain’t No Mountain High Enough kicked off, it was clear Amethyst was not ready to go home, giving pitch perfect Diana which is the only way to rock it in front of superfan Ru. And while Poppy started off similarly, she leaned further into the camp as the song went off and while it served and showed us who she is, Ru was only going to save the person that did Di justice and as such, sent Poppy packing from the competition.

Backstage Poppy was pretty upbeat, grateful to have gotten her passion for drag back and to leave arguably the most iconic mirror message of all time – scribble! I pulled her in for a hug and thanked her for showing us who she is and bringing such a chill, fun energy to all that she does. I assured her that her early departure isn’t a reflection of her talent and while she already knew that, I feel she really appreciated the fact she got to smash a Popbeef Capriness to lift her spirits.

This little local-butcher’s-number copycat is as soothing as everything else wrapped in pastry. Rich and earthy with a hint of sweetness, the tomatoes, spinach and feta work perfectly to elevate the beef into an elevated parcel experience.

Enjoy!

Popbeef Capriness
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 sheets puff pastry
4 thin cuts of steak, like scotch (depending on size you could go with two and cut them in half
½ cup baby spinach
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained
2 tbsp Toni Basil Pesto
200g greek feta, cut into 4 rectangles
1 egg, whisked

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut each sheet of pastry into four squares, and half of them into strips.

To assemble, place the steaks onto the centre of each square of puff pastry. Top with the spinach, sundried tomato, pesto and a piece of feta. Brush the edges of the puff pastry with some egg and layer the strips to form a crosshatch pattern, press in at the edges to hold in place.

Transfer the parcels to a lined baking sheet, brush with a little bit of egg and pop in the oven to cook for 20-30 minutes, or until the pastry is puffed – as the name would imply – and the meat cooked through. Then devour, with a generous helping of mash. 


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