Raw Caster Sugar

Merylktert Szolkiewicz

Baking, Dessert, Pie, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa Ta’alo narrowly secured immunity in the final immunity challenge – with Durao being the only one to know the merge was imminent – with Cobus rallying the tribe to stick together she a merge be happening anytime soon. And honestly, I’m not sure whatever happened because he too is hot. Despite Durao snatching an idol on the Islands of Secret, he didn’t feel the need to play it since Geoffrey came up with a plan to blindside Nathan, while baited Meryl and Dante into playing their immunity idol. At tribal council Geoffrey was a bit too good at baiting Dante, with them having an ugly, heated fight, leading to his plan coming together perfectly as Meryl played her idol and Nathan was booted from the game and no longer dateable, since he missed merge. Despite the SA speedos.

Back at Sa’ula Geoffrey was worried about any backlash from tribal council. Thankfully Meryl wanted to nip things in the bud, saying that she isn’t the villain and hasn’t lied to anyone. Which Nicole was not buying at all. Speaking of Nicole, Dante was now branding her unstable before Meryl told him that he needs to reel it in and not burn all the bridges. Nicole approached Dante and Meryl to clear the air, though continued to talk in circles which pissed Dante off which led to him cursing her out and burning the charred out bridges until the ash floated away on a light breeze. And just like that, my boner is killed. Things still weren’t looking good in the cold light of day as the tribe talked about the blow-up, with Nicole glad that everyone got to see Meryl and Dante’s true colours and hopeful her bond with Geoffrey and Mmaba will be enough to drag her to the merge. Dante too was still seething, feeling like Nicole was talking over him and putting her finger in her face and hot damn, I need to catch up with Alicia Calaway. 

The tribes met Nico in the jungle where Rob was crushed to discover that Nathan had been voted out of the game, vowing to stop playing nice immediately. But that is not we’re here for – the merge has arrived and everyone was thrilled to be done with their tribes and chow down on a huge Steers feast. While I hate the product placement – I mean, where is my plug – those burgs’, fries and thickies look amaze. Rob quickly moved on from his boyfie Rob, pulling Mike in for a hug and pledging allegiance before whispering to Jacques that they too will get there. Before Rob had aligned with everyone, the tribe sat down to devour their meals, rivalling Meg Ryan with their reactions. Well until Seipei asked Nicole what happened that lead to Nathan’s departure, with her saying how hard the night before handing over Nathan’s necklace to Rob, bringing him to tears. 

Jacques buddied up to Dante and Meryl to find out what they had been up to, Laetitia led the charge was a swim scene while poor Durao realised that he was lactose intolerant and shouldn’t have had the milkshakes. While the tribe swam, Meryl and Dante pulled Cobus and Jacques aside to fill them in on how badly they screwed things up the night before, pissing Geoffrey off in the process given he believes immediately scrambling is in poor taste.

Back at camp the tribe discovered that they had been gifted a couch, tea and coffee, though the price was a lack of shelter. As they started again, the tribe split up to work with Meryl highlighting how well connected Nicole is in the game, which made her the biggest threat. Meanwhile Geoffrey started to regret blindsiding Nathan, worried that it put a target on his back. Speaking of said target, Meryl approached Steffi and explained what had happened with the blindside and how Nicole broke their trust. While Steffi tried to downplay the connection of the OG tribe, she immediately approached Rob to hang out and work with Cobus, who was now hoping to slide under Rob’s wing and be his new number two. He then reminded everyone that not everything in life is straight and I live. Also living is Durao, who was getting a massage from Meryl as she continued to try and find anyone to align with.

Back at the well Steffi and Laetitia approached Nicole to find out what happened last night and whether Meryl is telling the truth, with Nicole explaining that she didn’t want to make the decision she made last night but she had to. And at the end of the day, they were so rude to her they no longer deserve an explanation. The trio cheersed to relationships and just like that, Laetitia is back to being my Queen – loitering around, not being a target and befriending everyone. Down by the shore Jacques and Rob smashed some take away, with Jacques filling him in on the extra vote for the upcoming tribal council. Before they could plan any further, Nicole joined them and tried to deflect from the truth about Nathan’s blindside.

The next day Mike, Geoffrey and Mmaba got together after breakfast to figure out where all the numbers lay, and who best to align with. They agreed Rob would be a great meatshield and Jacques would be helpful, and while they used to be close with Geoffrey, he has caused drama and may paint a target on his back. Over at the well Rob and Seipei got together to talk about how angry they are at Nicole for her betrayal, though agreed that she has nobody else to align with and as such, her desperation will keep her loyal. Nicole pulled Rob aside – with Geoffrey loitering behind them to eavesdrop – to explain that whether she voted him out or not, he was going that night and would have quit, so had to go with the flow to avoid taking any heat. While he said he believed her, she still looked down and she knew that she needed to get Seipei to help smooth things over. She pulled her aside and explain the situation before pulling out Nathan’s half idol, and vowing to work together to use it for them when needed. WIth them wedded by idol, Nicole approached Steffi to clear the air and while Steffi was understanding, she told us that her new alliance was more important, putting Nicole on the outs.

Nico returned for the first individual immunity challenge of the season, which is the Shi-Ann Huang and Parvati Shallow memorial hold your hand above your head while tethered to a bucket of water, with the last person standing dry wins immunity. And in addition to immunity, the victor could send someone to the Island of Secrets, rendering them immune as well. Queen Laetitia literally dropped out straight away and I honestly think she thought that she had to pull the bar down when Nico said go. Dante, Mike and Seipei quickly followed, while Meryl annoyed the shit out of everyone by humming to herself. Mmaba dropped out while Nicole terrorised everyone by talking about snacks, which then claimed Durao and Meryl. After an hour, Zaddy Cobus dropped out while Nicole annoyed the shit out of me, despite me not even being starved. After two hours Nicole ran out of menu items, so Nico added torture telling everyone the would now have to balance on just one leg, claiming Jacques, Nicole and Rob, leaving Steffi and Geoffrey to battle it out for immunity. WIth Geoffrey finally losing is balance, handing immunity to Steffi and herself, as she opted to send herself to the Island of Secrets to avoid the drama of tribal.

Steffi arrived at the Island of Secrets and it became clear that she thought that she had to go their to maintain her immunity before explaining she didn’t even want to win immunity and only pushed through to avoid Geoffrey getting it.

Back at camp the tribe yakked it up as they washed the painted war off the water before Meryl and Dante started talking about the vote, wanting to get rid of Nicole for being annoying or Geoffrey for being the biggest threat. Dante pulled in Jacques, Cobus, Meryl, Laetitia and their extra vote to target Geoffrey. Rob too was planning to take out Geoffrey, until he noticed Meryl scrambling like mad and he realised that she is the more pressing concern and as such, she needs to go ASAP. He then locked in the vote with Mike, Geoffrey and Durao, with them identifying Seipei, Nicole and Mmaba as trustworthy allies. Cobus, Seipei, Jacques and Nicole were the next to join Rob to discuss getting rid of Meryl, with nicole arguing that since everyone knows she is a threat, doesn’t that mean she is no longer a threat. And while they agreed, Jacques rightly pointed out that whichever pair they target out of Meryl and Dante, and Geoffrey and Mmaba, they need to break up the other one the next tribal. Rob and Seipei got together to talk about Nicole’s apologies, with both of them agreeing to sleep with one eye open. Cobus played coy with Meryl and Dante, who both wished Nicole was a target instead while Geoffrey too was nervous about how tribal council was about to play out.

At tribal council Nicole admitted that the merge has completely destroyed the hierarchy of the tribes, with this vote dictating where everything really stands. Jacques spoke about each different alliance having different ideas about how to vote, though they can come together to get rid of a common enemy. Cobus shared that he would be voting out the biggest strategic threat, Meryl pointed out that social players are the true threats which Dante jumped on board with and while it works for Nicole and Geoffrey, the fact he kept saying he let the cat out of the bag. Durao said that he is voting out the least socially aware female in the game, Mmaba was targeting a threat, Geoffrey and Rob said they were going with the numbers – while MEryl and Durao whispered, with her thinking he was referring to Nicole – while Nicole planned to get rid of someone that she can’t trust.

With that the tribe voted and piled up six each on Meryl before the latter secured the thirteenth vote and found herself becoming the Queen of the Jury. While I was heartbroken to see my fell curly head Queen exit the game, I am thrilled that it happened at the start of the jury which is one of my favourite places for someone to finish on Survivor. I assured her that at least she is still dateable as she made the jury and her long-term husband doesn’t need to divorce her, toasted a game well played and absolutely destroyed a Merylktert Szolkiewicz in her honour.

When you translate it, a milk tart doesn’t really sound very enjoyable but let me tell you, this little pie is damned near perfection. A delicate custard in a crispy pastry covered with a hearty sprinkle of cinnamon – glorious!

Enjoy!

Merylktert Szolkiewicz
Serves: 2 queens … of the jury.

Ingredients
125g unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 ¼ cup raw caster sugar
4 eggs
2 ¼ cups plain flour, sifted
2 tsp baking powder
1L milk
⅓ cup cornflour
¼ tsp vanilla essence
ground cinnamon, to dust

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C. 

Combine the butter, ½ a cup of sugar, an egg, 2 cups of flour and baking powder in a food processor and blitz until it all comes together to form a dough. Form into a disc, wrap in cling and transfer to the fridge to chill for half an hour.

Once chill, roll the disc out until it is 5mm thick and line two pie dishes. Prick the bases with a fork, line and add some baking weights and blind bake for 15 minutes. Remove the weights and return to the oven to cook for a further 10 minutes. Remove and leave to cool.

While the crusts chill, heat the milk in a saucepan until it boils before removing from the heat immediately.

Whisk the remaining eggs, sugar and flour together in a bowl with the cornflour and vanilla until a thick-ish paste forms. Whisk the eggs into the warm milk until smooth and combined. Return the saucepan to the heat and cook over medium for 5 minutes, or until it thickens. Pour into the pie crusts, smooth the tops and transfer to the fridge to set overnight.

When the pie has set, dust with cinnamon and devour. Regally like the Queen that you are.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Perslix Blatjangodlo

Condiment, Preserve, Sauce, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa Nico asked everyone to drop their buffs, when he knows full well I’d rather most of the men get in the buff. But alas, new Ta’alo was an even split of the three OG tribes, while Cobus was ridin’ solo at Sa’ula and Seipei was alone at Laumei, until her new BFF Tania joined the tribe, and made Rose-Lee and Durao public enemies one and two. After winning the immunity challenge Rob and Nicole convinced their new tribemates to exile Seipei and save her from the upcoming tribal council, leading to poor Rose getting booted from the game and Seipei unsure where she will now stand in her tribe.

Back at camp the tribe lamented Rose’s departure while Durao thanked them for keeping him around before low key reminding them that he is strong and as such, they need him if they want to avoid going back to tribal council. Since the other tribes are absolutely stacked.

Forgoing any other camp chat, Nico returned for this week’s reward challenge where the tribes would have to match pairs of tiles, with the first tribe reaching seven taking out victory. In the form of smoothies and supplements. More importantly they kept focusing on Dante’s package during the explanation and challenge and again, I am moister than an oyster. Obvi this challenge is hella boring, but let’s just say Queen Seipei dominated while Rob and Nathan sat out and did some cross tribal strategising, with Nathan pondering throwing immunity to gain control of his tribe. In any event Sa’ula won, Laumei came in second and Geoffrey was sent to the Island of Secrets while Rocco served a glorious nip slip-glasses combo.

I mean, this cast makes me bloody swoon.

The victors arrived at the smoothie bar, overwhelmed by the wellness and oddly not v. impressed by the wings? Thankfully Meryl kept things interesting, focusing instead on looking for a hidden advantage whilst everyone smashed smoothies. Try as she might though, she couldn’t get rid of her tribemates long enough to snatch the advantage. Eventually she resorted to looping in Dante so that she could run interference long enough for him to snatch the package. Isn’t the visual of Dante snatching a package all you could ever wish for? Oh and he was successful, obvs.

Back at Laumei the mood was mildly less jubilant as they split their fruit platter and Tania explained how best to eat fruit. Thankfully Queen Seipei continued to be the best, with everyone looking to her for support and guidance, despite her not wanting to play the role of camp mum. Even if it was something that she hoped could protect her for a while. Jacques, meanwhile, approached Durao to discuss aligning and while the latter didn’t really trust the former, he had no other option, so agreed and commenced trash talking Felix for being a total grumpy buzz kill. And just like that, the boys had a new target.

Over at the Island of Secrets Geoffrey was struggling to remember his tribemates’ names before discovering a dilemma to either snatch a jar of lollies for himself or a box of dry firewood. Like Jericho and Luke before him, he snatched the lollies and spent the rest of the day buzzing off a sugar high.

The next morning Meryl lived out my fantasy and woke up with Dante and went walking through the jungle … to read their clue, discovering that their potential hidden immunity idol will be hidden at the upcoming challenge. And just like that, I have Sharn PTSD and I can’t stop laughing through the desire to vomit for her embarrassment. We returned to Ta’alo where Geoffrey returned and told them extremely quickly that he had three options, the fake one being a personal advantage, before pulling the lollies out and hoping it would be enough to woo people to his side. As they were about to head off to the immunity challenge, Nathan pulled Steffi aside to float the idea of throwing the challenge in the hopes of getting rid of Mmaba. Which she was very much against, given she is super competitive.

At said challenge we learnt the tribes would have to swim out to a structure, climb up it, jump off and retrieve a bag, swim back and repeat until they were done. Then they would use the puzzle pieces within the bags to solve a series of slide puzzles, with the last one to finish going to tribal council. Ta’alo got out to an early lead while Laumei followed closely behind and Mmaba unintentionally played into Nathan’s plan, keeping the tribe well and truly behind the rest. Sa’ula and Laumei were on their final puzzle boards before Nathan made his way back to shore, before Meryl snatched victory for her tribe and the immunity idol for herself, while Jacques completely blew Laumei’s lead and despite his attempt to lose, Nathan secured victory for Ta’alo.

We followed Ta’alo back after the immunity challenge where Meryl was coming clean about having found a hidden immunity idol, worried that somebody spotted her grabbing it. While Rob thought it was a stupid idea to share the information, he was hopeful it meant that she is trustworthy rather than trying to display her growing power. Mwahahaha.

Back at Laumei Felix further highlighted his negative attitude, bossing the boys around as Seipei and Tania went for a walk to rant about Jacques blowing the challenge, while Felix made snide remarks about them losing. As the ladies locked in their votes for Felix, he continued to annoy Durao and Jacques without realising that he was only making the situation worse for himself. The four got together and confirmed Felix would be going home and agreed to gaslight him and pretend Durao is going home instead. Durao and Jacques then decided to add insult to injury and humiliate Felix with a fake idol on the way out, only for said fake idol to wash out of Durao pants when he went swimming. Though thankfully it drew attention to his crotch, which is always a win.

With that we arrived at tribal council assuming it would be a foregone conclusion, as Felix displayed extreme confidence while Durao continued to pretend that he is the one in trouble. Tania agreed that she will be sticking with tribal lines and today was all the more peaceful for it, Seipei hoped that she had done enough to save herself and Jacques admitted that he was embarrassed by his performance in the challenge. Oh and the blindside did come into fruition as Felix’s smug grin at Durao’s lack of idol play was quickly wiped from his face as he realised that everyone had turned on him and they were thrilled to see him go.

While Felix wasn’t thrilled to be blindsided so soon, he took it far better than his attitude would have you believe. I pulled him in for a hug and quickly distracted him, nervous about his reaction, so reminded him that people that go home after the swap, generally do so because they are a massive threat to everyone, which made him feel chipper in no time. But honestly, how could you be angry after smashing a vat of Perslix Blatjangodlo.

The name may be confusing to anyone like me that doesn’t speak Afrikaans, but this peach jam – aka perske blatjang – is so good, you won’t even care how clunky it is. Despite firmly being a chutney, this sweet and spicy sauce is the ultimate thing to smear on a sandie.

Enjoy!

Perslix Blatjangodlo
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, crushed
2cm piece of ginger, peeled and minced
2 tsp curry powder
½ tsp chilli flakes
½ tsp mixed spice
3 yellow peaches, peeled, destoned and diced
⅔ cup raw caster sugar
½ cup apple cider vinegar

Method
Heat the oil in a saucepan over medium heat, and cook the onion, garlic, ginger, curry powder, chilli flakes and mixed spice for five minutes, or until the onion is soft and sweet. Add the peach, sugar and vinegar, and stir until the sugar dissolves. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for half an hour, or until it is thick like chutney. 

Season to taste and allow to cool slightly before devouring on a sandwich. Or decanting into a sterilized jar.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Rusk-Lee Smith

Baking, Bread, Side, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, TV, TV Recap


Previously on Survivor South Africa sweet, sexy Rocco was blissfully unaware that Laumei – minus Queen Laetitia, obviously – was out to get him, while Seipei was officially welcomed to the amigo alliance at Sa’ula and they became a tight little group. So tight that they finally managed to snatch immunity and avoid the third tribal council. So did Ta’alo’s Tania, who went to the Island of Secrets and was given the chance to select which tribe she joined after the upcoming swap. With their obvious target out of the way, they set their sights on Ting Ting instead. However she and Jacques concocted a plan to idol out Cobus instead. However, again, Jacques got cold feet and instead played the idol for himself, saving Cobus, and sending his ally Ting Ting from the game and making himself four enemies in the process.

Back at camp Jacques was feeling the heat as his tribemates questioned why he didn’t trust them and unleashed their rage, while he awkwardly tried to get out of it and pray for a swap. The next day Jacques was still feeling the heat, with Felix and Cobus vowing to ice him if he dared cross them again. Proving, I guess, why he should flip ASAP. Meanwhile over at Laumei Wendy must have paid them a visit, as the chickens were freely wandering around camp as the tribe desperately tried to get them back. We were also reminded there is someone called Durao playing the game. Finally we checked in with Sa’ula where they were still riding the high from winning a challenge, hopeful that they could kick off a winning streak and stick together until the end.

Right on cue the tribe met Nico where they learnt the tribes would be swapping and Sa’ula won’t in fact be able to stick together. With that, Nathan and Steffi stayed on Sa’ula and were joined by Mmaba, Geoffrey, Mike and Cobus while Nath’s love Rob joined Nicole, Laetitia, Rocco, Dante and Meryl on the new Ta’alo and Seipei was all alone on new Laumei with Rose-Lee, Durao, Felix, Jacques and Tania, who opted to join Laumei given she holds Seipei responsible for saving her by going to the Island of Secrets. Oh and more importantly, she had a Coach-esque stick. Which I love. Give her the win immediately, TBH.

Back at the new Laumei camp Seipei was feeling the pain, having lost her comfort with only chickens to dull the pain. We continued to meet Durao who was feeling nervous given his only former tribemate is Rose-Lee. Instead of blending in, Tania opted to berate Felix for voting out Ting Ting and using the excuse that she wasn’t as strong as Meryl. Clearly highlighting their fractured relationship, giving those without numbers hope. We dropped by the new Sa’ula where Steffi and Nathan showed everyone around their plush digs and while they are now in the minority, they are hopeful of pulling in Cobus and saving themselves. They then offered up some peace bananas before disappointing everyone with the news that Rob keeps their flint in his pocket and as such, they now have no fire. Speaking of Rob and his flint, he made instant friends on his new tribe with that information. He and Nicole then lied about Paul and his idol, hopeful that they could throw everyone off the scent and snatch the idol at this camp. Sadly for them, Dante gave them a tribal council play by play, clueing them in that the idol had already been claimed and their plant was a bust. Though let’s be honest the biggest loser here is Meryl, who wished that Dante had kept his beautiful mouth shut.

We returned to new Sa’ula where talk turned to the clue or flint dilemma of episode one, as Mike questioned why Paul didn’t give them an idol. Nathan and Steffi then explained that the idol wasn’t used and went missing, and TBH they just lost their target because they seem way too trusting. Almost as soon as Mike realised that there was an idol sitting under the Laumei well, we returned to find Jacques finding his second idol of the season. Thankfully instead of seeing him gloat, we saw Seipei and Tania go for a walk and pledge their loyalty to each other and hot damn, Tania and the Sa’ula five for final six please! Rose-Lee and Durao were also catching up, lamenting just how screwed they are, hoping that they could figure out the second-hand clue that Rocco stole from Paul to snatch the idol … that Jacques just found.

My dear Nico returned for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes would traverse a course with planks, collecting tribe members at various stages and adding planks to their little train. Once at the end, they would use the aforementioned planks to build stairs and then land sacks on boxes. Oh and in addition to immunity, the victors would get a massive Steers feast while second place gets a rack of ribs. Rob got new Ta’alo to an early lead before he and Dante made the sexiest train I’ve ever seen. Though Cobus and Nathan looked pretty hot on Sa’ula, to be fair. In any event Laumei struggled from the start and Durao hadn’t even picked up a friend while the other two tribes started work on their stair puzzle. Given Rocco is an Olympian, he made swift work landing the first sack … until Laetitia proved to be a beast and land the next two. Steffi managed to even things up as Laumei finally arrived at the stairs and tied things up as everyone started to panic. Ultimately it was all for nought as Rocco snatched victory for Ta’alo, while Mike snatched second for Sa’ula after a pep talk from Steffi.

Before Ta’alo went back to camp to smash their ribs, Nico reminded them that they need to send someone to the Island of Secrets and keep them safe from the vote tonight. And given how much they hate Tania, Dante and Meryl suggested Seipei to force them into voting out Tania instead. Oh and then Rob asked Nico if he could return the flint he stole to Sa’ula and got a sweet, sweet hug from his beloved Nathan.

Ta’alo returned to camp to see the spoils of their victory, joyously throwing the ribs on the grill and rivalled Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally as they smashed rack after rack. Over at Sa’ula they too were thrilled to find their comparatively measly rack of ribs, though they still carved them up and went to town on them. Though let’s be honest, this is probably better as they didn’t have to compete with giant flames. Nathan then casually dropped that old tribes were dead to him and everyone now has new allegiances, however Mike wasn’t buying it, given Rob and Nicole saved Seipei by sending her to the Island of Secrets. So you know there is going to be some drama there. Speaking of Seipei, she was glad to finally visit the Island of Secrets, though wished it didn’t come at the expense of a feast of ribs. She then learnt that she doesn’t even get an advantage thanks to her semi-immunity, further irritating her as she wanted to prove the loyalties she had already teed up.

Speaking of Laumei, Durao was apologising for choking at the challenge while Tania assured him it didn’t matter as they managed to catch up. Rose-Lee addressed the elephant in the tribe, questioning whether they will stick together and vote her or Durao out. Speaking of the duo, they gave up on finding an idol and instead got to work making a fake one that they could hopefully leverage to secure themselves safety. Jacques then caught up with Felix and shared the news of his legit idol find to try and lock in his loyalty, before Felix suggested that that will only happen if he can hold on to the idol at tribal council. This pissed off Jacques, who was aghast at the thought of handing over his idol and while they agreed to vote together, I don’t see this having a happy ending.

They then joined Tania to confirm who they would vote for, agreeing that Rose should go tonight and while they may not feel close, they have no choice but to stick together. While Jacques wandered away to simmer in his juices, Felix filled Tania in on their drama and explained what happened at the last tribal. And just like that, Tania is finally in a power position. Durao opted to talk to Jacques, hopeful that he could pull him to his and Rose’s side with the allure of their fake idol, tragically unaware that he was talking to the owner of the real idol.

At tribal council Felix spoke about feeling mildly confident, given he, Tania and Jacques at least have the numbers from their OG tribe. Tania agreed it was important with Jacques agreeing that this is a great opportunity to whittle away at some of the Laumei numbers. Durao agreed that since Laumei had the numbers, it would be good to align with Durao given he has friends. Jacques explained that if Rocco and Laetitia liked them, they would have saved Durao or Rose-Lee rather than letting them attend tribal council. Jacques then detailed why the decision was stupid, suggesting he or Felix would have given them the best hope because at least then they would have Seipei as a swing vote, while Rose just argued about all the ways Rocco liked them. Talk turned to the idol before Durao casually mentioned that he had it, though TBH, it looked like no one believed them. And Queen Tania gave zero fucks, saying that either way one of them is going home and as such, they should take a chance. Jacques and Tania spoke about staying Ta’alo strong and sending the message to their former tribe that they will stick together at the merge.

Everyone grew tired and asked to vote, except for Duraro who instead just wanted to give Rose a hug since they are screwed. Then they voted and Durao’s hug proved to be the kiss of death, as Rose was sent from the game with only the love and support of Rocco as consolation. Sweet Rose-Lee took her boot on the chin, knowing that there wasn’t really anything she could do to change her fate. Which was kind of my pep talk, so instead I gave her a hug and sent her on her way with a fresh batch of Rusk-Lee Smith.

While they may not look like the most exciting thing, these sweet little scone-biscuit hybrids are near perfection. Particularly dunked in a fresh coffee on a cold day.

Enjoy!

Rusk-Lee Smith
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
1kg self-raising flour
250g butter
1 cups raw caster sugar
1 tsp salt
2 eggs, whisked 
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
3 cups buttermilk

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Grate the butter into the flour in a large bowl, and using your hands, rub them together until it resembles wet sand. Knead in the sugar and salt, followed by the eggs and vanilla, followed by the buttermilk, little by little, until it comes together like a scone dough. Aka soft and sticky, but not wet.

Using wet hands, form the dough into half cup-sized balls, and pop on lined baking sheets. Transfer to the oven and bake for 45 minutes to an hour, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool slightly, while reducing the oven to 80C. 

While still warm, use a bread knife and slice into thick biscotti-esque shapes and return to the oven to dry out completely, or about two hours. Before removing and allowing to cool completely. 

Then, and only then, devour them with a fresh cuppa.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Paulnapple Wupside Downs Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Four and Three and Two and Done: A Farewell to Broad City, Snack, Sweets

After catching up with Abbi, Arturo, Hannibal and John, I am almost coming around to the idea that Broad City is coming to an end tomorrow, despite the fact it breaks my heart. Thankfully I am trying to focus on the positives, like Abbi doing Ilana at the co-op, Jaime becoming a citizen, Lincoln being Lincoln, Bevers literally being the worst and the discovery of Trey’s past as Kirk Steele. And damn did it make me fall even harder for my dear Paul W. Downs.

Like Abbi I started of hating Trey and episode by episode fell in love with him, which comes down to the comedic work and total charm of Paul.

While I didn’t meet him until Broad City, we fast became friends and I’m honoured that he came to me for advice on how to block the Kirk Steele scenes. While my infatuation made our friendship awkward for a brief period, I am thrilled that I was able to cool down and he never let it get in the way of our bond.

Paul being the absolute best, he arrived at my door with the inflatable pool toy and a visor and told me how grateful he was to be celebrating the show, and how much he wanted me … to have the props.

I mean, can you believe? He is a sweet angel. Just like my Paulnapple Wupside Downs Cake.

 

 

TBH I have always looked at this cake as kitsch krap, but somehow it defies my expectations and further proves that the ‘80s get a lot of unnecessary hate. A sweet and tart top, with melt in your mouth fluffy sponge, there is nothing better to while away an afternoon with a dear friend.

Enjoy!

 

 

Paulnapple Wupside Downs Cake
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
¾ cup unsalted butter
½ cup muscovado sugar
8 canned pineapple rings, juice, reserving ½ cup for the cake
12 maraschino cherries
1 ½ cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
1 cup raw caster sugar
2 eggs

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and spray the base of a 23cm cake pan with cooking spray.

Combine ¼ of a cup of butter with the muscovado in a saucepan and cook over medium heat until combined and slightly darkened. Remove from heat and pour directly into the cake tin.

Arrange the pineapple rings in the caramel and dot the maraschino cherries as artfully as you desire. Set aside.

Meanwhile whisk the dry ingredients together in a bowl, and cream the remaining butter and raw caster sugar in a stand mixer until light and fluffy. Agg one egg at a time, beat well after each addition. Add the dry ingredients and pineapple juice in thirds, alternating between each until it is well combined.

Spoon the batter over the fruit and gently smooth the top, being careful not to move or break the fruit. Transfer the cake to the oven to cook for 45 minutes, or until golden brown and an inserted skewer comes out clean.

Leave the cake to cool for ten minutes before flipping onto a serving plate … and devouring like it is Kirk Steele.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Florgeres Welch

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

I know it is stupid and I sound so whiny – I am a diva, so like Britney, leave me alone – but damn did I need this time with Florence to perk myself back up – sorry, raise – and focus on what is important in life.

I mean, as soon as Florence got off the plane and held me in her arms it was like happiness hit me like a train on the track.

It should really come as no surprise to me, given we’ve known each other since attending Thomas’s London Day School as young kids. Fun fact: I was the one that suggested Kathy and Will send my godson George there.

While it has been a few years since we’ve had the time to catch-up, it felt like not a day had gone by since our last date. We laughed – even about the fact I was outside her door for Grammy Gold before realising she is just a nominee – we cried and she cheered me the fuck up over a big plate of my Florgeres Welch.

 

 

Crunchy on the outside, delicate and creamy on the inside, these sweet cigars are the perfect treat to bring people together and turn around your mood. Am I putting too much power into food? Sure. But what else am I meant to do?

Enjoy!

 

 

Florgeres Welch
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
125g cream cheese, softened
250g ricotta
250g cottage cheese
2 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp honey
1 tsp ground cinnamon, plus extra for sprinklin’
24 sheets filo pastry
unsalted butter, melted

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Blitz the cheeses, caster sugar and cinnamon in a blender or stand mixer until well combined.

Place a sheet of filo on the bench, brush with some butter and top with a second slice of filo. More butter, more filo, more butter and a fourth and final piece of filo.

Cut the filo tower into quarters and spoon 1 tbsp of filling along the short edge. Roll over to just cover the filling, fold in the edges and then continue rolling to form a small cigar, brush with butter and place on a lined baking sheet. Repeat the process until the four are done. Then repeat the process with the remaining filo.

Transfer to the oven to bake for ten minutes, or until golden and crispy. Devour immediately, sprinkled with some cinnamon.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Choc Berry Muffins

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Grammy Gold, Grammy Gold: Somebody That I Used to Gold, Snack, Sweets

It has been an extremely busy week celebrating this year’s Grammys with my annual Grammy Gold parties, but as usual, I always push through. Or get by with a little help from my friends, so to speak. And Somebody That I Used to Gold would have been nothing without the love and support of my dear friends Lady Gaga, ONJ, Trey, Tina, Kandi and today, the late, great Chuck Berry.

Given I already had the delorean out to visit Kandi, I decided I should take it out for another spin and seeing Chuck again was high on my list of priorities.

I met Chuck in the ‘40s while studying to become beauticians at the Poro College of Cosmetology. While I wasn’t very good, my boy Chuck was a bloody star and so I quickly helped him rise in the industry. Until I heard his dulcet tones and realised that making him a singing star would be far more beneficial to my bank account.

While in the car, I started pondering about the major Grammy categories that I still needed to run the odds for. Obviously I am backing This is America for Song of the Year, however my gut – or indigestion – is telling me that movies are going to dominate the other two, With Black Panther snagging Album of the Year and Shallow getting Record of the Year, though This is America truly deserves the double.

With that out of the way, I arrived back in the ‘80s to help celebrate his Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award and boy was it an absolute thing of beauty. His kind, talented soul, and my Choc Berry Muffins, obvi.

 

 

Tart berries and gooey chocolate are quite possibly my favourite flavour combination. Add them into some pillowy cake, and I am in heaven. Heaven I tells, ya! Like my dear friend Chuck, may he rest in peace.

Enjoy!

 

 

Choc Berry Muffins
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
75g unsalted butter
200g plain flour
½ tsp bicarb of soda
2 tsp baking powder
75g raw caster sugar
200ml buttermilk
1 egg
100g blueberries
100g raspberries
200g milk chocolate, cut into rough chunks

Method
Preheat oven to 160C and line a six-hole Texan muffin pan.

Melt the butter and leave to cool slightly.

Combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl, and whisk the buttermilk and egg with the melted butter. Fold together with a wooden spoon until just combined before folding through the berries and chocolate.

Divide the batter between the holes and bake in the oven for 30 minutes, or until risen cooked through and golden.

Allow to cool slightly, though making sure they’re still warm enough for the chocolate to be gooey. When you devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.