Butternut Pumpkin

Vegetarian Lisagne Holmes

Australian Survivor, Main, Pasta, Survivor NZ, Survivor NZ: Thailand, Survivor: Australia V The World, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor JLP decided to gag the tribe after an extremely chaotic tribal council by announcing that he would be making things even more wild, as they would be voting a second person out of the game. As has become an Australian Survivor tradition, he escorted the tribe outside of tribal council where another immunity challenge was set up, requiring them to steady a table with a rope and walk back and forth to balance five balls on top. And while I’d love to say it was an exciting challenge, Luke easily won immunity. Back at tribal council everyone returned their attention to Tommi, as the one leading the charge against Parvati mere moments ago. Bless her though, Lisa tried to quit to save him however upon finding out she would be booted from the jury and the vote would proceed no matter what, she stayed in the game as the Aussie and US coalition stuck together to get rid of the other Tommi of Finland.

Back at camp everyone was completely shellshocked by the absolute drama of tribal council and the fact that Lisa is now the last international standing. She meanwhile was a little bit confused about what happened, telling the women that Tommi told her to get rid of Parvati at the first tribal council and that she was never actually going to vote her out, and was just put into the middle of the drama. Which Parv, clearly, didn’t really believe, leaving poor Lisa well and truly on the bottom. Though seeing her fire up and vow to torch everything to the ground was frankly iconic and I am here for it. While Luke and Janine assured Parvati they weren’t lying and are now with her until the end.

The next day Lisa was leaning into her place on the bottom of the tribe, serving melancholy loner for the cameras, before promptly getting to work. Luke checked in with her, asking if she was the one that voted against him, with her hilariously admitting it was her and that she did it because he is the second biggest threat. Which he vehemently denied, given he has only voted twice in the entire game And both of those times were last night. She then told him that nobody in their right mind would want to take him to the end, particularly over her, and as such, he needs to play smart. Though when she admitted she would also not take him to the end, he reminded her that that is why he wants her gone.

Luke shared with us that his ideal final four is with Janine, Cirie and Parvati, as he wants to face off against the best. He caught up with Janine who agreed with the plan, as the duo agreed they were well and truly ready to send Shonee to the jury if Lisa wins immunity. And Luke would be sleeping between Lisa and Cirie to make sure the perma-reigning Kiwi Queen doesn’t find a crack. As that was happening, Lisa, Parvati and Cirie were catching up, with Lisa trying to prove to Parvati that she actually had her back last night. And when Parv questioned why she never said anything until asked, Lisa avoided the question, reminding her that nobody actually wants to sit next to her in the end and anyone that says anything different is lying, as they have all talked about it. Except for Cirie and Luke, as the former is loyal and the latter believes he is in with a chance against her. With that last fact making Parvati realise that maybe, just maybe, Lisa was telling the truth.

Jonathan arrived for the latest immunity challenge, which proved to be triggering for Luke, as it is the one that cost him the game in Champions V Contenders II. You know, where they would run up some stairs and drop a ball into a track and race to the bottom to catch it and pop it back in at the top. Adding balls as they go until only one of them remains. It is kind of a boring challenge to write about, though, so let’s just keep it brief. Shonee tragically added her second ball way too quickly, though was able to save it. Well, for one round at least. Before she and Janine went out at the same time. The remaining four added a third ball, which immediately cost Lisa, while challenge beast Cirie Fields made it a few more runs before dropping in third. Luke and Parvati continued to be machines as they added a fourth ball, which promptly cost Parv, handing Luke redemption and immunity.

Back at camp Luke delighted everyone with tales about how heartbroken he was to lose the challenge on his last season, while Janine was just thrilled Tommi and Kass weren’t there to compete, as they definitely would have won. She then outlined that she and Luke are a duo, as are Parvati and Cirie with the other two as lone wolves. Janine pulled Luke aside to float the idea of keeping Lisa around and getting rid of Shonee, given she would win if she made it to the end. Luke calmly explained that while that makes sense, getting rid of Lisa would guarantee that Cirie won’t flip on them and that is the most important thing. Oh and then Janine reminded Luke that he voted her out in sixth last time, asking him not to do it again.

Janine caught up with Cirie and Lisa, telling them she went out in sixth last time and as such, she would like them not to do it again. Which Cirie shared happened to her during her last time, without a vote. Lisa then exited as Cirie regalled Janine about Advantageddon and ugh, I love this duo. Cirie admitted that she knew that getting rid of Lisa takes away all of her wiggle room, and that frankly scares her. Lisa meanwhile realised she is kind of screwed, so decided to focus her attention on setting things up better for Cirie after she goes. She caught up with Shonee who admitted she is not close with Janine and Luke, and as such, she would happily work with the World girlies to get rid of Janine if they were keen. And given Cirie loves Lisa, she just needed to figure out which way to go between Shonee and Lisa.

Luke meanwhile was nervous about what would happen at the next tribal council should he not be immune, so opted for a big move, pulling Parvati aside to lock in a final three. The first step being to tell her about his idol and the second, asking her to tear up her steal a vote advantage, given he believed it could be played if and when he needed to play his idol. And given her bluff worked so well, she was now kind of keen to choose chaos and steal his idol, instead of his goal of locking in a final three alliance.

Lisa pulled Cirie aside to talk through the vote, with the latter truly keen to go with her plan to work with Shonee and cut Janine. As that was happening, Luke started to panic about talking to Parvati and as such, he pulled her aside to try and fix the situation. Solely by talking about it again. Parvati asked whether anyone knew about his idol, with him assuring her it is their little secret. With him offering that she could rip up the parchment before or after tribal council, he doesn’t mind. Before immediately changing his mind and asking her to rip it up, and given she felt backed into a corner, she eventually agreed to rip it in half and give him one. Delighting him, given it means that he and Janine are kind of guaranteed a place in the final four now. While Cirie continued to debate which way to go, given she honestly just wanted to sit at a final tribal council and have the chance to pitch her game to a jury.

At tribal council Cirie spoke about the fact things had evened up between the Aussie and World tribes, and that it could impact the vote tonight. Luke pointed out that he had been playing the game from the bottom and that he would love to see how people would be able to play on the bottom, because that is where the magic happens. Janine told JLP that it is clearly not 3-3 and that different groups have been forming. And those groups have been coming a lot longer than people think. Parvati outlined that the World tribe clearly were out to get her and that she had to make a move, and that she is happy to let old alliances die to allow new relationships to form. And given Lisa was trying to blindside her, she is hardly keen to work with her again.

This gagged Lisa who told Parvati she was surprised that that was still something she believed. Sensing Parvatai was softening, Luke pointed out that he doesn’t know who Lisa would take to the end but he knows that Parvati definitely isn’t one of them. Nor him. And as such, he is willing to get rid of her to make space for someone that may. Which is logic that tracks with Cirie, though she cautioned it is equally as important to focus on who you can beat. Parvati joked about Lisa being too honest, with the latter agreeing, which fired up Janine, who felt like it wasn’t fair of her to decide when she was lying. While Shonee admitted she would gladly sit with anyone at the end as she just wants to make it and, like Cirie, get the opportunity to plead her case. Because she is ready.

With that the tribe voted and despite her best attempts to turn the tide, the tribe banded together to send the forever reigning Kiwi out the door. And while she was disappointed to have finally had her torch snuff, she was also delighted to have had her torch snuffed, given it is a bucket list moment. As such, she was feeling pretty good as she arrived at the Jury Villa. I pulled her in for a massive hug, thanking her for not only being a proxy for every superfan in the world, but also for owning the first episode and proving just how dangerous nerds like us can be. As dangerous as Vegetarian Lisagne Holmes is delicious.

I find that I am naively smug about every vegetarian meal because I believe that they are all healthy. And while I know that isn’t exactly true, it does make me feel better about eating a kilo of cheese in one sitting, you know?

Enjoy!

Vegetarian Lisagne Holmes
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
½ butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into half centimetre slices
1 red onion, sliced
1 tbsp olive oil
400g ricotta
½ cup sour cream
2 tbsp pesto
6 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper, to taste
6 fresh lasagne sheets
3 cups passata
2 cups baby spinach
500g haloumi, thinly sliced
½ cup mozzarella, grated

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Line two baking sheets and toss the pumpkin and onion through the olive oil. Arrange on the trays and allow to cook for half an hour, or until cooked through and starting to caramelise.

While that is happening, combine the ricotta, sour cream, pesto and garlic in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, smear a quarter of a cup of passata on the base of a 2L ovenproof dish, and top with a couple of lasagne sheets, trimming to fit. Smear with a third of the passata, before layering with some pumpkin and onion, a layer of haloumi and topping with another lasagne sheet.

Spread half of the ricotta mixture over the top, followed by half of the baby spinach. Top with some lasagne, using offcuts to fill gaps, before smearing with another third of the passata. Layer with more pumpkin and onion, followed by the lasagne, the remaining ricotta, spinach and final sheets of lasagne. Pour the rest of the passata on top, and smooth to cover.

Layer the remaining haloumi over the top, sprinkle with mozzarella and transfer to the over to bake for 30-40 minutes, or until the cheese is golden and crisp. Allow to rest for five minutes before devouring, like a boss.


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Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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Lauren Breakfast Wrarpe

Breakfast, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the top six were put through their paces in an epic team reward challenge which was dominated by Carson, Lauren and Yam Yam. As they joyously hung out at the Sanctuary, Lauren floated the idea of getting rid of Carolyn given she is beloved by the jury and she also wanted to break up the Tika. While Carson was sure it was a no go, Yam Yam knew she was right – given she left out the latter – and considered the idea. After Lauren took out immunity, it became a battle between Jamie and Carolyn to stay. Ultimately the Tikas and Heidi stayed firm, blindsiding Jamie and barring immunity, paved their path to the final four.

The final five arrived at their new desolate home for the final few days of the competition, and while they had nothing, they were all just grateful to still be in the game. The tribe asked Heidi about her just played idol and while everyone was gagged by it, they were more focused on the fact another would be hidden. The Tika three then caught up by the well to talk about hunting for said idol, with Carson not interested in trying tonight given his eyesight is busted. Yam Yam meanwhile pretended he found an idol before admitting it was a gag and ugh, I love Tika so much.

The next day the tribe were still focussed on idols with Heidi talking about how they burn a hole in your pocket and while she didn’t need it the night before, she has no regrets about playing it as she’d still rather guarantee her place in the game when she can. As they split up to hunt, Heidi spoke to us about being proud to be the last Soka standing, while Carolyn was proud to always be herself and Yam Yam felt that finding the idol would be what secures him his win. While he wandered around the tree that the idol was tied in. Thankfully he wasn’t alone as everyone circled it unaware, as Carson spoke about his game solely coming down to numbers and relationships while poor Lauren knew that the only way to make it to the end would be to win challenges. As much as she tries to build bonds.

Carolyn and Carson continued hunting, talking about how happy they were that the three stooges managed to make it to the end together. Sadly Lauren was busy smearing Carson’s name to Yam Yam and Heidi, who agreed he is definitely the biggest threat. She pulled Carolyn aside who agreed that she knows Carson is a massive threat, though is hopeful that he is so loyal to her that he doesn’t see a blindside coming if and when necessary. While Lauren and Carson both agreed that they know a target is on their backs, so their only hope was winning immunity.

Right on cue, Jeffrey appeared for the final five immunity challenge where they would race through a three-tier structure to collect keys, then open a chest to release a rope which in turn releases a ladder and then solve a puzzle. So, congratulations Carson and your printer! Oh and in addition to immunity, the victor gets to go to the Sanctuary for an epic feast. Everyone whipped through the structure, with Carson and Heidi neck and neck for the narrow lead. Heidi slowly started to pull away before Carson closed the gap again. The duo released their ladders at the same time, leading to them starting the puzzle at the same time, which obviously gave Carson a massive advantage as he whipped through it with ease – despite everyone eventually making it to the puzzle – and snatched yet another immunity. Carson was obviously then given the chance to take someone with him, electing to take Yam Yam. Which kinda shocked me, given Mama Carolyn is right there.

We followed the boys to the Sanctuary where they promptly loaded up their plates and got to enjoying their date – I love Yam Yam feeling like the belle of the ball – before talk turned to the upcoming vote. Yam Yam immediately pointed out that Carolyn is far and away the biggest threat, while Carson felt that the best road ahead for all of the Tikas is to go to the end together. Carson suggested the jury would love an underdog story and as such, set his sights on Lauren while Yam Yam felt like Carolyn is the bigger issue but given Carson isn’t willing to budge, there is nothing he can do but hope it doesn’t bite him.

Back at camp Heidi admitted she was shocked Carolyn wasn’t taken on the reward, while Lauren felt like it proved they were super close and she is likely going home next. Heidi suggested the three of them would be able to make a move against them and as such, they need to get plotting. Lauren pointed out that Yam Yam was coming for Carolyn at the last tribal council and even though it may be a lie, it still made her nervous. And open to flipping the script on her closest ally.

The boys returned to camp with Carolyn barely able to hide her anger at Yam Yam and while she pretended it was just because she was hungry, Yam Yam knew something was up. The boys addressed the awkwardness head on and when Lauren went for a walk, Carson straight up confirmed he will be voting for her no matter what. While Heidi quietly watched on, Carolyn suggested maybe the jury needs a little Tika on it which immediately spooked Yam Yam. The boys caught up to talk through the complication with Carolyn, agreeing that if they cannot trust she is with them, they will have to move the vote from Lauren over to Carolyn instead.

Yam Yam caught up with Lauren next, pointing out that if the vote is between the two of them, why don’t they just join together to get rid of Carolyn instead. And while Lauren was hopeful, she also knew they’re bond is complex – and iconic – and felt like it was just a family tiff. As such, she returned to the idol hunting as that was the only way to guarantee a spot in the final four. The boys reconvened, now worried that Lauren had an idol, so now Carson floated the idea of taking out Heidi instead.

At tribal council Lauren admitted camp wasn’t chaotic and that she is fully expecting to be going home tonight, given the Tikas are clearly aligned and nobody spoke to her. This elicited some massive eye rolls from Caroyln before she and Heidi countered that they actually spoke to her and threw out names. Lauren on the other hand said there was nothing solid, which only further exasperated Carolyn and Heidi. Carson admitted it all could be a fake out, while Heidi felt that it is unlikely that someone didn’t find the idol, given they were all hunting all day. Lauren admitted it would be a great ruse if she had one, while Yam Yam agreed it would be amazing to see an idol play, however he knows it would cost him his place and as such, he is ok without seeing it. He opened up that he knows there are always two plans and since he only knows one, he assumes he is number two which makes him sad.

Lauren started to break down, proud to have made it to the top five and to be the last Ratu standing. She opened up that she was hoping her boys would be proud of her, given she dominated challenges and surprised herself, which set everyone off, as they sobbed through her speech. And ugh, it was lovely. She opened up about how transformative an experience this is and TBH, given the jury was also in tears, I think she sealed her own fate. With that the tribe voted, no idols were played – despite a nice little fake out from Lauren – before sweet Lauren was booted to join the jury.

As she arrived at Ponderosa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that not only would her boys be proud of her, but so will everyone watching at home. There is something magical about watching Survivor and see people like Lauren – and everyone else that has ever doubted themselves before arriving on the island – embrace island life and thrive. And that makes her more than worthy of a triumphant Lauren Breakfast Wrarpe.

Breakfast is already my favourite meal of the day, but this little number is so good it will quickly make a lover out of its biggest doubters. Sweet, salty and dripping in cheese, like Veronica’s Closet, it’s got everything.

Enjoy!

Lauren Breakfast Wrarpe
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
8 rashers streaky bacon
4 pork sausages
2 tbsp butter
6 eggs
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup Tomatoni Braxton Relish
4-8 slices butternut pumpkin, roasted
8-12 slices vintage cheddar
4 slices pineapple
4 tortillas

Method
Heat a skillet and fry the bacon and sausages – the former to taste, based on your passion for crispiness. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel.

In the same skillet over medium heat, melt the butter until foamy while you whisk the eggs in a jug with a good whack of salt and pepper. Add the eggs to the pan, sweeping across from edge to edge sporadically as it slowly cooks. Once they have just set, remove from heat.

To assemble, smear each tortilla with some Tomatoni Braxton Relish. Top with the pumpkin, cheddar, pineapple, bacon, sausage and finally the egg. Wipe the skillet clean and return to the heat. Roll the wraps to enclose and place in the pan, sealed side down, and toast for a couple of minutes. Flip and cook for a further minute.

Remove from the pan, slice and then devour. Like the boss that you and Lauren are.


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Jordie Hansenhos de Abobora

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes were delighted to get a reprieve from challenges with the arrival of the auction, only to be gagged by a tribe swap. Venturing to the Heroes tribe, Shonee was heartbroken to be split up from Liz, though grateful that she at least still had George. After jagging an epic reward at the auction, George took the girls for a little party where Shonee found a second idol, though assured them she would be ready to hand it off to Liz if and when needed. Simon was nervous about being on the bottom of the new Villains, though sucked up to the alphas to win them over. Plus, he was in possession of what he thought was an idol. After the Heroes lost immunity the OGs planned to blindside George, only for George and Shonee to school them, wooing Gerry to their side and idoling out Paige. As God wanted.

The next day Shonee was blissfully napping away the morning, thrilled to be on top with George and close friends like Stevie and Gerry. And now that Paige is gone, she can eat all the crispy rice she wants and ugh, it is what our Queen deserves. Long may she reign.

We checked in with the Villains, where Simon was talking about how normal it feels to be moist. Which doesn’t add anything, but I love it because it sounds so suss. Liz meanwhile was heartbroken to be away from Shonee, breaking down in tears to us as she spoke about how lonely she feels. Particularly since the Heroes are clearly dominating the new tribe and she, Jordie and Simon are left out. The trio caught up with Simon checking if they had had any luck making friends before he suggested he will play the idol for one of them, should it be needed. Which Liz knows is a lie, given he is clearly too selfish and he refused to play one for Stevie just last week.

Back at the Heroes tribe George was just as radiant as Shonee, thrilled to have taken control and ready to eliminate the original Heroes one by one (by one). He caught up with Stevie to talk through the plan before Benjamin interrupted to see if he could join the chat. Ben admitted that the only reason George copped votes the night before is because they are intimidated by him but that now he would truly like to work with him. George then caught up with Shonee as Flick took her turn to pledge her undying loyalty, one upping Ben by suggesting she could even be a double agent to sweeten the deal. Oh and then closing out the pitches, Matt pulled George aside one on one, offering up all the information about his allies and how he could be of value to help the Villains take control come the merge.

And oh god, if Matt is telling the truth, go with him as I want to see how the Meat Tray takes the betrayal. Particularly Sam, as he will be salty.

The tribes came together with Jonathan for the reward challenge with Liz delighted to see Paige booted, while the OG Heroes were gutted. But more importantly, the challenge where in groups of four each tribe would race around a course in the shallows, carrying bags and chasing each other with the first tribe to catch the other scoring a point. And the first tribe to three getting a big Aussie breakfast. First up were Matt, Shonee, Ben and Flick versus Shaun, Hayley, Liz and Simon with Ben the first to drop out of the challenge, followed by Shonee, Hayley and Liz, with Shaun and Simon pissbolting to hunt Flick and Matt down, scoring the first point for Villains. Sam, Shaun, Jordie and David made quick work of Stevie, Gerry, Ben and George, but damn were they adorable. As were the original Heroes talking through the status quo on each tribe, while Liz and Shonee bitched about hating everyone before Shonee promised to hand her an idol should she need it. Oh and then the Villains won the third round with Simon and Sam quickly catching the Heroes.

Back at camp the Villains were thrilled to find a table laden with fruit, bread, eggs, bacon, hash browns, cheese and most importantly, coffee. And ugh, I am hungry just looking at it. Simon toasted them for being so strong before they downed the coffee and went absolutely wild. Well, except for Liz who quietly watched on thinking about how bland and annoying all the men are. Which was beautifully juxtaposed with Simon screaming and celebrating as he desperately tried to win friends. Given she is invisible on the tribe, she knew she could excuse herself without anyone noticing and got to work foraging through the jungle to find an idol. And hot damn, our girl did it. And as expected, not a soul noticed. And if they did, she could just say the coffee and eggs went right through her, no?

Upon returning to camp, Liz invited Jordie for a trip to hunt for wood where she quickly filled her only ally in on her hidden immunity idol with the duo thrilled to have hope amongst the chaos. Assuming they play the situation smartly, that is. They returned to camp with Liz filling him in on Shonee’s idol and that she is willing to hand it to them at a challenge should they need it. And well, Liz is ready to call in that favour and blindside one of the Heroes. Yes, come through Spice Girls!

Shaun meanwhile was heartbroken about Paige getting voted out, taking Sam for a walk to talk through how they make the most of their numbers advantage. Sam suggested they tell Simon they will take him to the merge if he hands off his idol and while Natalie Bolton and Cirie Fields can pull it off, Sam definitely can not, given he is not it. Plus, it isn’t an idol. Sam pulled Simon aside to tell him that he spoke to the guys and while they are friends, there is a caviar – his words – in that they need Simon to give him his idol before they agree to take him to merge. Simon wisely pledged his undying loyalty and assured him that he wants to go to the very end with them, not just merge. Oh but he would only be willing to hand the idol over to Shaun. As such, Simon and Shaun caught up by the well with Shaun doing a far better job sharing the plan, telling Simon he knows it is risky but he also knows that out of the three Villains, he is the one they want to protect.

Simon then pulled Shaun and Hayley aside, doubling down on the plan and suggesting they hand the idol across to Flick on the Heroes tribe so that she can play it to blindside George. And that he wants to get a message to Stevie so that he can help them move forward. Upon showing them his idol however, Hayley questioned if there was any paperwork and when he said it came with nothing, she wisely asked how he was sure it was an idol when it could be something else, like a nullifier. But sadly – or well, not – that was where the logic ended, as they laughed about how poetic it would be for Simon to send his idol to the other side to blindside his nemesis George, which will be a huge move. And again, lol.

Almost as lol as Simon botching his quote about living long enough to become a Hero and the producers trolling him by keeping it in.

The tribes came back together for the immunity challenge where they would race through a series of obstacles before chopping wood to release coconuts and then shooting coconuts at six targets, with the first tribe to finish jagging immunity. The Villains got out to an early lead, quickly releasing their sack of nuts – this time JLP’s words – while the Heroes desperately tried to close the gap. Nina hit the first target for the Villains before Matt finally started shooting for the Heroes. More importantly, Shonee and Liz just casually walked over to each other and started discussing how to hand off the idol. Nina knocked her second target as Matt took out the lead for Heroes as he smashed three, then four and five before ultimately jagging immunity for the tribe. 

After the challenge David and Flick hugged, talking through the non-idol hand off while Simon tried to talk to Stevie about trusting in Flick and to vote with her at their next tribal council. While Shonee calmly handed the idol to Jordie unnoticed before Shaun awkwardly passed the disc off to Flick. And oh god, I need the non-idol to blow up in someone’s face so badly. And now I’m not even sure who I want to be the victim.

Back at camp the tribe rallied around to process their loss, while Liz and Jordie couldn’t wipe the grins off their faces. Hayley meanwhile was confident about tribal given they have the numbers, pointing out to Simon and Shaun they should split the vote on Jordie and Liz and ultimately get rid of Jordie should no idols get played. The Heroes quickly locked in their plan, while Jordie and Liz laughed it up at the well, given they can derail whatever it is they are planning. Wanting to have more impact than a single moment, Jordie suggested they pull Hayley and Nina aside and show them the idols before making them pick which of the boys they want to send home. And then promptly not play the idols at all. Which obviously made Liz nervous, given she wasn’t sure they should trust them and instead just go the safe route of playing their idols.

They pulled Nina and Hayley aside with both of the girls shitting their pants, unable to name who they want to go before Liz narrowed it down to either Sam and Shaun. With Hayley first to lock in Sam, given he is so loyal it is hard to work with him, given if you upset him, he is done with you. Liz suggested this is the night to prove loyalty, before Jordie pointed out it isn’t a threat but if there is whispering at tribal council, he will gladly change the vote.

Backed into a corner, Hayley approached Shaun to ensure that should she and Nina have to work with the Villains, she hasn’t burnt everyone. The plan to take out Sam spread like wildfire, with everyone kind of accepting the fact Sam is screwed. David suggested they instead just vote out Simon, while Shaun reminded him he swore on his children’s life and as such, can not do that to Simon. And to be fair, Simon and Sam will both fill the same role in their alliance. Right on cue, Sam approached the group and both awkwardly and aggressively asked if something was wrong with David, Nina and Shaun just dancing around things as Mateship looked enraged.

Hayley meanwhile caught up with Simon to fill him in on the situation until she exited because he looked too shocked and to calm down. Jordie approached him and asked why he looked so rattled – lol – with Simon pretending to still be OG Villains strong and as such, all in on voting out Sam. Shaun, Nina and Hayley then caught up, with Nina cautioning that she truly believes they will play the idols and as such, if the Heroes just lock in the vote on Sam, there will be no surprises and they can make a move next time.

At tribal council Shaun spoke about how grateful he is that their new tribe is stacked, while Jordie turned the attention to the fact the OG Villains are well and truly outnumbered which Simon agreed made him nervous. Shaun wisely suggested that everyone really should be worried. Jordie spoke about how tight the Heroes tribe are known to be with Sam talking about how loyal the Heroes are, while they all looked ready to vom from the guilt. Jordie spoke about how today was an epic scramble as Nina motioned to Sam that Jordie and Liz both have idols. While Liz watched on as all the Heroes grew more and more paranoid. As Simon spoke about how nervous he now is, Liz filled Jordie in on the whispers happening while Hayley reiterated the Heroes needed to stay strong, before Sam suggested that if the Villains have an idol, they should be nervous.

As Simon spoke about being rattled, Shaun told Nina that she and Hayley should still vote Sam while he, Simon and David switch back to voting for Jordie so that should the idol be played, Sam goes home, otherwise they can get rid of Jordie on the revote. Jordie admitted it feels like it could be his last tribal council tonight, with everyone agreeing they feel just as nervous. Liz admitted she is stressed, but that you need to risk it for the biscuit while Hayley wanted people to walk away from tribal council with some clarity about who they want to work with, while Jordie wanted everyone to leave knowing this is how you play the game.

With that the tribe voted and tragically neither Jordie or Liz played their idols, resulting in a tie between Jordie and Sam. Which on the revote, led to the Heroes eliminating Jordie, leaving Liz all alone. As is often the case, Jordie found his way to Loser Lodge by following the wailing sounds of my screams when I found out he came so close to not just breaking up the Heroes but also sending Sam, the worst person to ever play Survivor in the global franchise, home. Sadly though, he took the gamble of holding onto his idol to navigate through to the merge and while it cost him his game, I am impressed with the logic behind it, given he knew he was screwed if he couldn’t leverage an alliance.

I pulled him in for a massive hug, congratulating him and Sam on their pregnancy and thanking him for being such a damn delight this season. I mean, while Jordie was balls deep in an all male alliance last year, this year he channelled Erika Jayne, ready to give the gays (and girls) what they want, working with Shiz and George while gloriously mocking the Meat Tray. I told him I was proud of how grounded and fun his energy was and assured him that when it comes to his third time, he is poised for another deep run. And until then, he always has Jordie Hansenhos de Abobora.

These Portuguese pumpkin donuts – aka Sonhos de abobora – are positively delightful. Earthy, spiced and oh so sweet, the crisp shell gives way to a pillowy little cake that will have you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

Jordie Hansenhos de Abobora
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
250g butternut pumpkin, peeled and diced
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
80g butter, melted and cooled
¼ cup brandy
2 tbsp dried yeast
2 tsp vanilla extract
4 eggs, lightly whisked
2 ⅓ cups flour, sieved
½ tsp kosher salt
2 tbsp warm water
vegetable oil, for fryin’
2 tbsp ground cinnamon

Method
Steam the pumpkin for 10 minutes or until nice and soft. Remove from the heat to cool and then blitz in a food processor until nice and smooth. Transfer to a bowl.

Whisk half a cup of sugar, the butter, brandy, yeast and vanilla into the pumpkin until well combined. Set aside for 5 minutes and leave to prove. Whisk in the egg before folding through the flour and water to form a thick dough. Cover, set aside and leave to prove for another half an hour, or until doubled in size.

Heat about 15cm of oil in a large saucepan until it hits 160C and mix the remaining sugar with the cinnamon. Cook spoonfuls of dough a few at a time for about 3 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Transfer to a paper towel to drain for a minute before tossing through the cinnamon sugar. Repeat the process until all cooked, then devour with glee. Ideally with some Dulce de Nick Lachey.


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Pumpkin and Zuccassidy Cluiche

Breakfast, Pie, Survivor, Survivor 43, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor after Jesse was felled and sent to the jury by Gabler, the final three awoke on Day 26 and toasted making it to the end. They then obviously pivoted to talking through their strategies when facing the jury before taking their places at the final tribal council. While the jury assured them all their votes were up for grabs, Gabler appeared to be playing into what they wanted to hear and charmed them more and more with each answer. On the flipside, Cassidy’s strong game was called into question by the jury while Owen was ignored for having zero sway over the direction of the season. Which was enough to land him as the second runner-up.

While poor Cassidy scored a sole vote from her ally James, leaving her shocked to finish as the runner-up behind Gabler. Who turned out to really play like the Ali-gabler.

As Probst and Co continued to reset, I pulled Cassidy in for a massive hug and immediately broke down in tears, devastated to have not had another iconic young, pretty, crafty winner join the club. Despite absolutely dominating the season and pulling off a revenge arc third only to Shonee and Arya Stark, the jury weren’t convinced that she was their winner and tragically shut her out of the vote despite her bestie James.

Thankfully despite her disappointment at the outcome, Cass assured me that she truly is proud of herself for all that she achieved throughout the season and for now being her own inspiration and to all the young fans out there. Which was well and truly enough to get us in the festive spirit to toast her success with a hearty, comforting Pumpkin and Zuccassidy Cluiche.

The light eggy ricotta melds perfectly with the sweetness of the veggies to give you a quiche so jam-packed full of flavour, even the most ardent of bacon lovers won’t be able to argue against.

Enjoy!

Pumpkin and Zuccassidy Cluiche
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
2 zucchinis, quartered lengthwise and halved
1 sweet potato, diced
1 cup butternut pumpkin, diced
2 sheets shortcrust pastry
8 eggs
¾ cup heavy cream
1 cup ricotta cheese
salt and pepper, to season
½ cup vintage cheddar, grated
tomato relish, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 160°C.

Pop a lug of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat and saute the onions until soft and sweet. About five minutes or so. Place the zucchini, sweet potato and butternut on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with some olive oil and pop them in the oven to roast for about half an hour or until golden. Remove both from the heat to rest.

Cut each pastry sheet in quarters and press into individual pie dishes. Prick the bases with a fork, line with some baking sheet and fill with pastry weights and blind bake for 10 minutes before removing the pastry weights and cooking for a further couple of minutes to brown.

Whisk the eggs, cream and ricotta in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Sprinkle the onion into the prepared dishes, followed by the sweet potato and pumpkin and finally the zucchini. Add in the cheesy egg mixture and sprinkle with a little bit of the cheddar. Transfer the dishes to a baking sheet and pop in the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and set.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slathering with some tomato relish and devouring through the disappointment.


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Arielcini Rec

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Main, Party Food, Side, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España we were blessed with a batch of twelve new iconic queens who had me gagged by their talents. And flooded my basement with their beauty. After a sultry, artistic nude-illusion photo shoot with the pit crew, the dolls rocked two looks dedicated to their hometowns on the runway. Poor Marisa and Samantha fell a little flat while Onyx took flight. Though more importantly, Marina flashed her penis on the runway which is more than worthy of a win in my books. Ultimately though it was Onyx who took out the first victory of the season while Samantha and Marisa battled in the lip sync, with the latter finding herself becoming the Porkchop of the season.

Backstage Samantha was gagged to have survived the lip sync while her sisters gathered around to congratulate her on her performance. After toasting to their sister Marisa, they sat down and rightly praised Onyx for her showstopping runways, who for some reason, was shocked to have taken out victory. Though grateful that her arse carried her to victory. Once again. The dolls spoke about how intense it is to be judged, admitting that the experience has well and truly woken them up to the fact that this is a damn competition. While Sharonne did some demonic vocalising which was as scary as it was erotic. For some reason.

The next day the dolls were back to living their best lives, taking it in turns to ride Estrella like a horse before she showed off her goodies on the table. And someone grabbed at her balls, which isn’t necessary to the story but will play on a loop in my head longer than the Oscars slap has. Wait, no, that one will never die.

Samantha meanwhile was ready to claim the title of lip sync assassin of the season, truly turning the lemon that is being the only queen to have lip synced so far into lemonade. Talk then turned to the burgeoning love between Drag Sethlas and Onyx, and yeah, I want to see that video. Before we could get any of the juicy, juicy details, Supremme arrived to task the girls with a little light reading. Si, la biblioteca is well and truly open and well, if all librarians looked like the pit crew, I would perpetually be dehydrated. First up was Sharonne who was hilarious and quick, Venedita was harsh, Sethlas went in on Estrella’s twirls, Onyx made the girls blush and then Estrella stole the show with some Harry Potter (non-transphobic) magic. Samantha bombed, Jota was even worse while Diamante brought the laughs back. Sweet Juriji was perfectly brutal before Ariel just flooded my basement and I don’t even know if she was good or bad because she is so damn hot. 

Oh and then Marina was read while trying to read. Did I mention Ariel is fucking hot?

Ultimately Sharonne took out victory before Supremme announced that they would be following up the reading challenge by putting on the Supremme Eleganza Talent Extravaganza in front of a live audience of surprise guests. Which Diamante immediately decided would be the Spice Girls. Dream big, I guess? Everyone split up to start planning their talents with Samantha a little bit terrified while Estrella was thinking of going the comedy route. Ariel meanwhile had too many talents to choose from, while Sethlas was hoping to not incite any controversy like she had in the past when she did a performance crucifying herself.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs ahead of the show with Ariel and Onyx bonding over their journeys with therapy and how it has helped them throughout their lives. Onyx opened up about how the pandemic broke her, with her partner leaving her around the time she lost her job, so she ultimately had to move back in with her parents. Thankfully they rallied around and reminded each other that seeking help is always the best idea.

Supreme, Ana and the Javiers were joined by La Zowi on the judging panel, while the cast of season 1 returned to watch the dolls perform. Drag Sethlas opened the show as a straight up transformer and well, I lived. She then vogued the house down before jumping from there, aka splitting from a massive box. Jota Carajota meanwhile went full Phantom of the Opera before singing a camp original song and well, I think I loved it. Ariel Rec did a moody original song and honestly, I just wished she stripped and called it a day. Because again, he keeps me drenched. Juriji gave a camp opera and damn, she has pipes. And the back-up dancers were in harnesses, so yeah, give her the win right damn now. 

Samantha Ballentines then painted a picture of one of the hottest pit crew members – which was just a penis – so obviously I now want her to win the challenge. I mean, I can’t. Venedita Von Dash went from peasant to glamazon as she flamenco’d around stage in a strip show. And again, basement. Flooded. Onyx cracked out of an egg before giving an alien lip sync and well, it was weird and wonderful. Particularly since she birthed her baby on stage, which is something I always love. Particularly if it is sliced ham. Marina gave us a moody midnight ballroom dance and damn, she’s got some legs on her. Estrella then slayed a camp lip sync in honour of fast mood, which is super relatable. Complete with mustard coming out of her titties. Sharonne then stole the show with a live jazz duet, complete with puppeteering her partner. Before Diamante Merrybrown slayed a lip sync, dancing the house down however coming after Sharonne, it was hard to steal the show.

On the Day of the Beast Runway, Jota was an alien delight, despite the odd body shape. Juriji was a sexy rose bush, Ariel was a sexy sleep paralysis demon – complete with blue blood and growing sores – while Samantha Ballentines served the most demented plastic surgery addict ever seen. Venedita was a bleeding mummy, Onyx was breathtaking as a massive spider and Marina gave us a two faced woman, half covered in burns. Sethlas gave demon llama, Sharonne was a kooky spooky voodoo doll while Estrella was a demented mirror queen and Diamante slayed as a hessian boogeyman. 

Ultimately Sethlas, Ariel, Onyx, Sharonne, Samantha and Diamante were classed as the tops and bottoms of the week, leaving the rest of the dolls to untuck while they received their critiques. The judges were happy with Ariel’s performance though felt like she wasn’t on the same level as her sisters in either the performance or the runway. Samantha was read for not slaying the performance and lacking originality while Onyx received universal praise for her performance and the runway, despite some pacing issues in the former. Sethlas was praised for splitting her kitty before Sharonne received universal praise for each and every thing that she served this week. Oh and the judges lived for Diamante too, so I guess Onyx is low, somehow?

Backstage the safe girls were relieved to be deemed safe though opted to get shady over who would be in the bottom, suggesting Sharonne should be. Which, lol. As the rest of the queens joined them, Samantha announced that she would definitely be in the bottom while Ariel felt like she would be lip syncing against her. Onyx meanwhile shared that she was disappointed her performance didn’t cut through with the judges as Diamante reminded them all that on the whole – swoon – they served a killer fashion show.

Ultimately Diamante was deemed safe before Sharonne took out her first victory of the season. Drag Sethlas was then sent to safety while Onyx narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Samantha Ballentines to lip sync once again. This time against Ariel Rec. As soon as Yo Quiero Bailar kicked off, the fight once against came into Samantha Ballentine as she served demented, wild fun while Ariel focused on turning a show. But given how hysterically everyone was laughing at Samantha, there was no way she was going home as once again she saved herself, leaving poor Ariel Rec to sashay away instead.

And well, her loss was my gain! As soon as we met up backstage, I pledged my undying love for her, thanking her for gracing the planet for her beauty and begging him to spend out lives together. While Ariel didn’t agree to get married, we did have a lot of hot fun. And gladly filled out holes with some even hotter Arielcini Rec.

I know I’ve probably said this countless times but it honestly bears repeating; the only way to make something as delicious as risotto better is by coating it and frying it. Crunchy breadcrumbs form a gloriously golden crust, keeping the cheesy rice piping hot and well, there is nothing better.

Enjoy!

Arielcini Rec
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 ½ cups chicken stock
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
350g butternut pumpkin, finely diced
5 garlic cloves, crushed
1 cup arborio rice
¾ cup grated parmesan
salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup flour
2 eggs, lightly whisked
2 cups fresh breadcrumbs
vegetable or sunflower oil, to deep-fry

Method
To make the risotto, pop the stock in a saucepan over low heat and bring to temperature. Meanwhile, heat a lug of oil in a pot over medium heat and saute the onion and pumpkin for five minutes or so, or until the onion is nice and soft. Add the garlic and rice and cook for a further couple of minutes. 

Working a ladleful of stock at a time, add to the rice mixture and cook stirring until it has just absorbed. Repeat the process until all the stock has been used. Stir through the parmesan, season and cook for another minute. Remove from heat, spread over a lined baking sheet and allow to cool completely.

Once things are hella chill, pop the flour, egg and breadcrumbs in three separate bowls. Using wet or floured hands, roll 1-2 tablespoon sized balls of risotto. Pop them first in the flour, then the egg, followed by the breadcrumbs. Place on another lined baking sheet and repeat the process until done before transferring to the fridge to set for an hour or so.

When it is time to fry, heat a couple of inches deep of oil in a stock pot until about 180C. Working a few at a time, add the arancini and cook for a couple of minutes before flipping and cooking for another minute or so. Transfer to a lined plate to drain and repeat the process.

Then devour, while still piping hot.


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Serena ChaChagine

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 5, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on … hang on, wait a minute. Why do I always do this?! I mean, the ads even told us it was a Ru dawn and a Ru day. And now, well, that day is here. At midnight in the US, which honestly is perfect for me Down Under. 

But I digress.

A’Keria C. Davenport was the first to ru-turn to the Werk Room looking like a vision in all gold, she was joined by Jiggly and ugh, I live for her and am so glad she is back, fully embracing herself as a strong, gorgeous woman, in a little black dress to boot. Next up was Jan, living her Jantasy despite the jandemic and I hate myself for loving her and her jan-do spirit as much as I do. Particularly since she knows she was an 11 at all times last season. She was joined by Ra’Jah O’Hara in a gorgeous purple and blue jumpsuit and she is happy, friendly and ready to prove that she is a damn icon. Then Ginger Minj arrived looking a mess as a toad, but damn am I thrilled to see her back after her sub-par performance in All Stars 2.

Particularly for her warts joke.

Yara Sofia arrived for her third turn, manic, crazed and barking like a dog and OH SHIT, have I missed her. Despite not loving Silky very much, her entry was iconic with a full glass of milk in her titties and ugh, will I actually love them all this season? Supporting that theory, my love Pandora Boxx returned looking stunning, complete with butt puns and gah, it is so good to have her back. Particularly if Rob Anderson manifested her being paired with Serena and there being no other pairs. Scarlet Envy was next to join the fray, with her season 11 nemesis Ra’jah living and well, it makes me so happy. Oh and speaking of Serena, she is back and damn, did she have a glow-up because it is time to cha-cha bitch. 

Sonique finally arrived and owned the entries, quoting the transphobic entry line and reclaiming it as her own. It is powerful, she is funny and damn, I am SO glad to have her back. Next up was Trinity K Bonet, still charming and ready to slay, with Bianca’s encouragement playing in her head this go around rather than her inner saboteur. Last up was Eureka for her sixteenth attempt at the crown, this time with All Stars lips. And thankfully, still serving killer looks.

With that, Ru finally arrived to inform the largest All Stars cast EVER that they would still be a democracy this season, with everyone voting. And then alluding to a game within a game. But then changed the subject to the 14th queen, who it turns out was just the legendary Miss Piggy, who would be overseeing the reading challenge.

Kylie Sonique Love kicked things off reading A’Keria for being another losing Davenport, TKB went in on Ra’Jah for being an early out and Silky for being a mess, Jiggly destroyed Pandora for having no fans and Serena for being an alternate. Ra’Jah then arrived and savaged former-nemesis Scarlet’s beard, Eureka went in on Ginger’s relationship and then Pandora killed reading Eureka for being there. And then Ginger rightly got a supercut of destroying all of them. Serena was given the rattlesnake edit before Yara was demented and delightful, Jan tried to read Sonique but was read back in return before A’Keria was mean about Ra’Jah’s chances in the competition, Scarlet went for A’Keria butt implants and Silky was confusing but eventually got one in on Eureka.

Obviously Ginger took out victory, before Ru announced that they would be competing in the traditional premiere variety show. Which saw them all quickly split up, snatch a station and kiki. Ra’Jah and Serena were both ready to rewrite their narrative this season and prove that they are stars, before Ra’Jah celebrated the diversity of the cast. Besties Ginger and Jiggly caught up and were delightfully ridiculous, with Ginger knowing that she shouldn’t join the bitter old lady brigade again. Silky meanwhile praised Serena’s glow-up and celebrated her return, while Ra’Jah admitted her strategy was to get to the top and then stay there. And I am living for this version of Ra’Jah.

Elimination Day arrived with Eureka sharing that she’d be doing a song about her mother, while Sonique was doing a song to reintroduce herself to the fandom. Meanwhile Trinity K Bonet was just hoping to break the comedy show curse, given it was her choice to do stand-up. As they got ready Scarlet and Sonique spoke about what the game within a game could be, with all the girls derailing it by talking about whether they have a strategy. Silky laid out that she is not planning to play games and wanted to be fair, while TKB was nervous about being a bit of an island in the cast since everyone had friends or former castmates joining them.

At the variety show Jan mocked her face crack moment after being announced safe, then slayed her vocal performance about living her Jantasy. Pandora was charming and stupid and ugh, THIS is the Pandora I love, as she lip synced like a maniac, complete with titty confetti. Jiggly’s song and dance, to her own Jiggly-centric rap was a bop, Kylie was GORGEOUS as a golden burlesque singer – sans Wagon Wheel Watusi.

Oh AND THEN RA’JAH SEWED A DRESS IN 60s, I SHIT YOU NOT. I CAN’T GET OVER IT.

A’Keria gave a technicolour lip sync that had Michelle gagging, despite the green lighting. And then, ugh, Trinity bombed her comedy show. Badly, despite reading her grandma for filth. Eureka had a surprisingly good voice while singing live, complete with projections on her dress. Scarlet then dazzled with a bubble burlesque number which was both fresh and iconic. Silky then straight up played piano and sang gospel, Serena promoted her wig line, Ginger gave a poppy performance of perfection and then Yara was ridiculous as she bounced her titties all over the stage. Which was iconic, despite nobody knowing what was happening.

After Ru reiterated the rules, Eureka, A’Keria, Jiggly, Jan, Kylie, Scarlet and Ginger were sent to safety. As the dolls untucked backstage, Jiggly was thrilled to have survived the first week while Ginger was happy to at least have won the reading challenge and to prove herself. Again. Jan threw out another Jan pun, while Eureka asked the girls to help her strip off to take a seat. She then charmed the girls by saying that she was shocked they weren’t the tops, while Ginger expected Silky to win despite Scarlet being sure it was Yara’s on lock, giving how much Ru was living.

Jiggly identified TKB as a bottom, while Eureka felt Pandora would be joining her along with Serena. Ginger loved that she got a plug in for her wig line, before Jan celebrated that she wasn’t even annoyed about being safe. And Scarlet was thrilled to be feeling joy this time, as was A’Keria. Kylie shared that she was sprialling before starting the competition, though was ready to show that she had grown thanks to Ru. Eureka then broke down about losing her mum and was so endearing, leading to Jiggly talking about how much Eureka’s tribute to her mum meant to her. 

Jiggly then spoke about how she spent so long doing sex work to survive, that she didn’t even realise that she was broken on her first season. She and Kylie told the group about growing after coming out as trans and it was such a beautiful, loving conversation to have and I am so glad they are so open to sharing. Ginger spoke about how she didn’t even recognise who she was on Season 7, talking about how much hate she got that she still doesn’t even know how she processed it. Eureka praised her for being a trailblazer for big girls, before Sonique gave them all a pep talk about how them being so vulnerable and open is what makes them special. 

Oh and Ginger then spoke about the positives of meeting fans, with Scarlet admitting that she was one such fan of Ginger’s in the past. And then Jan reminded us that season 12 really had the worst experience, given she hasn’t even toured as a Ru girl so is still waiting to meet fans.

Back on the mainstage,  Silky was read for not fully taking it there in her performance, despite looking gorgeous and literally playing the piano live. Trinity’s look was praised though she was read for her obvious bomb. Ra’Jah received universal praise for her dress in 60 seconds number, as did Yara for her ridiculous tiddy-shaking performance. And I am so happy for her. Pandora’s joyous brand of ridiculous was praised for serving comedy, while poor Serena was read for not exactly executing the performance given everything else looked so beautiful and polished. Ultimately Yara took out the first victory of the season, while Pandora and Ra’Jah were deemed safe, as was Silky. Meaning either TKB or Serena were going home.

Talk turned to the voting backstage, with the girls talking about their strategies with Kylie admitting that she knows well enough not to share her strategy. They were interrupted by the tops and bottoms returning from their critiques, with Yara giddy to announce her victory to the safe girls, before Trinity and Serena shared they were in the bottom. Yara pulled Serena aside, with the latter sharing that she is heartbroken to be in the bottom after all these years. Meanwhile TKB shared that she doesn’t even know what happened at the variety show, though plead her case to the girls, reminding them she is here to prove herself. The bottoms switched places – how versatile – with Serena telling the girls she is here to fight too, while TKB reminded Yara about how much she wants to be there.

And Yara was just straight up confused. 

With that, the dolls voted and Yara made her way to the mainstage where she learnt that she would be facing off against Coco Montrese and oooooh, gurl – you in danger Yara! As soon as Bruno Mars’ Uptown Funk started, both the dolls were ready to fight, but honestly, Coco is just SO good at lip syncing. Even while Yara was stripping and bouncing her titties, Coco was hitting every letter and proving why she is arguably THE lip sync assassin of the franchise. Again, she is just so good. With that, she took out victory and had to reveal that the group had voted to eliminate the delightfully redeemed Serena ChaCha.

Serena was crushed to unanimously be booted from the game by the group, particularly since Yara voted for Trinity and could have changed things with her victory. That being said, my dear Serena was delightful as she wrote her farewell message, before breaking down to discover the other queens’ notes praising her for her growth and charm. Oh and seeing the massive Serena ChaChagine I had waiting to celebrate her rudemption.

Rich and hearty, despite not having a meat in sight, this tagine is a pure delight. And while that was an accidental rhyme, you know I deliberately left that in. Because like the tagine, it is fun and full of flavour. Right?

Enjoy!

Serena ChaChagine
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 pinch of saffron
olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp ginger, minced
1 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp ground cinnamon
2 tsp ras el hanout
1 tbsp tomato paste
¼ butternut pumpkin, diced
1 eggplant, diced
2 carrots, sliced into coins
1 onion, cut into segments
1 red capsicum, cut into strips
1 yellow capsicum, cut into strips
1 potato, cut into eighths
salt and pepper, to taste
400g tin diced tomatoes
400g tin chickpeas, drained and rinsed
100g dried apricots, roughly chopped
couscous, mint, flaked almonds, yoghurt and harissa, to serve

Method
Place the saffron in a cup measure and infuse in 1 cup of boiling water.

Meanwhile, heat a lug of oil in a tagine over a medium heat and sweat the garlic, ginger, cumin, cinnamon and ras el hanout for a minute or two, or until nice and fragrant. Add the tomato paste and cook it off for a few minutes before loosening with the saffron infused water.

Stir in the myriad of diced and sliced veg before adding the tinned tomatoes, chickpeas and apricots with a good whack of salt and pepper. Give a good stir, bring to the boil, cover and reduce heat to low and simmer for half an hour or so, or until the veg are tender.

To serve, layer your bowl with a dollop of couscous, followed by the tagine and whatever combination of herbs, yoghurt, harissa and almonds float your boat. And then devour, like a rudeemed champion.


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Pumpkim Spradlinguine Carbonara

Main, Pasta, Survivor, Survivor: One World

Given we’ve had a string of alpha-male dominated seasons, I decided that Liz Olson and Natalie need to dominate this season. And as such, I needed to pull out (one of) the most dominant winners Kim Spradlin to bring some good juju as we continued our countdown.

Say what you will about how awful and insufferable Colton made One World – and Kourtney’s broken arm didn’t help either – Kim had an absolute stranglehold on that game and is one of the best winners we have seen. Actually, her dominance probably didn’t help the excitement levels of the game … but I thoroughly enjoyed watching her string everyone along and dominate the game.

Sadly we haven’t had a return from Kim on account of her having multiple children since her killer game, but I am hopeful we will see her again for a legends season where she, Cirie and Sandra run the game.

Could you imagine?

Anyway like me, Kim has high hopes for the success of icons like Natalie, Elizabeth and Mike White who we can stan for creating Enlightened. Bonus points for thinking Gabby could go well, if only for her being a superfan.

With our David vs. Goliath chat out of the way, we caught up on what we’d been up to in the last couple of years, and while she rebuffed my offer to help tee up the legends alliance – though to be fair, she probs don’t need my help – she more than earned a big bowl of Pumpkim Spradlinguine Carbonara to celebrate the impending premiere.

 

 

Let’s quickly run through everything; pasta? Delicious. Pumpkin? Glorious. Cheese? YAS. Bacon? Hot damn. Put them together and I damn near cream my shorts. In layman’s terms, this dish is perfect.

Enjoy!

 

 

Pumpkim Spradlinguine Carbonara
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
a good knob of unsalted butter
6 rashers streaky bacon, diced
6 shallots, sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup dry vermouth
600g butternut pumpkin, roughly chopped
1 ½ cups chicken stock
1 cup cream
½ cup pecorino, grated
½ tsp freshly grated nutmeg
500g linguine

Method
Heat the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat and once foaming, add the bacon and cook for five minutes or so. Once crisp, add the shallots and garlic and cook for a couple of minutes or until fragant and soft. Add the vermouth and cook, bubbling, for five minutes or so.

In another pan, bring the pumpkin and stock to the boil. Reduce heat to medium and simmer for 15 minutes, or until the pumpkin is soft. Blitz with a stick blender until smooth and add to the bacon and shallot mixture. Stir through the cream, pecorino and nutmeg and stir until combined.

Cook linguine as per packet instructions. Drain, reserving ½ a cup of cooking liquid. Stir the pasta through the sauce and loosen with some pasta water if needed.

Serve, slathered with additional pecorino and then devour.

 

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Pumpkin & Ricotta Cannelloni Anderson

Main, Pasta, Vegetarian

So Notorious. I was talking about So Notorious, the hit sitcom based on Tori Spelling’s life starring Tori Spelling and Loni as a heightened version of the divine Candy Spelling. Just in case the tease didn’t make it abundantly clear.

It was such a delight to reconnect with someone as dear as sweet Loni!

She ran through customs with a look of pure joy on her face and while at a distance I assumed it was someone trying to avoid an inspection on account of me needing new glasses, she eventually came into my line of site and jumped straight into my arms.

We both burst into tears, followed by fits of laughter at how emotional we were being and to be honest, I’m shocked our behaviour didn’t get us escorted out of the airport.

After we got home we got to work reminiscing and catching up. While she wasn’t convinced that So Notorious needed to come back and we need to take my ideas to Torz post haste, we still had a wonderful time. Which really just speaks to how deep our friendship runs.

Though I mean, when you share an ex-husband like Burt you’ve both got to admit you both have fantastic taste. Which was evidence by how much we both love a creamy Pumpkin & Ricotta Cannelloni Anderson.

 

 

Earthy, spiced and dripping in glorious, gloopy cheese, these cannelloni pack a comforting punch. They’re the perfect meal for a cool spring night, while gabbing away with a dear friend over some cheap wine.

I mean, why pretend I drink anything better?

Enjoy!

 

 

Pumpkin & Ricotta Cannelloni Anderson
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
6 tbsp butter, halved
2 leeks, thinly sliced
750g butternut pumpkin, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
½ cup dry vermouth
salt and pepper, to taste
10 sage leaves, roughly chopped, halved
pinch of nutmeg, grated
1 ½ cups ricotta
1 cup parmesan, grated
500g dried cannelloni tubes
¼ cup flour
1 cup milk
1 cup cream
½ cup walnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Melt half the butter in a large pot and cook the leek and pumpkin over medium heat for about ten minutes. Add the garlic, vermouth and a good whack of salt and pepper, reduce heat to low and cook for a further ten minutes or so, or until the liquid has all absorbed. Allow to cool slightly before transfering to a food processor with half the sage and the nutmeg, ricotta and parmesan and blitzing until smooth.

Preheat oven to 160°C.

Meanwhile melt the remaining butter in a saucepan over medium heat, and once foamy, whisk in the flour and cook for a couple of minutes. Add the milk and cream and cook, stirring, for a couple of minutes or until smooth and thick.

To assemble, pour half of the cream sauce into the base of a baking dish. Pipe the pumpkin mixture into the cannelloni tubes and lay on top of the creamy sauce. Top with the remaining sauce and sprinkle with sage and walnuts. Transfer to the oven and bake for 45 minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Allow to rest for five minutes before serving and devouring.

 

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Angela Pumpkin Scones

Baking, Dessert, Side, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Ghost Island, TV Recap

Straight after Donathan’s boot – and the semi-annual Sia award for the favourite LGBT contestant – we arrived at the final immunity challenge where they would be required to balance on a wobbly beam and stack 6 balls using a long pole. Which coincidentally is how Michelle booted Neal from the jury and locked in her victory over Tai and Aubry. Probst then nonchalantly explained that he was not reversing the fire-making final four curse and the final four got down to the challenge.

Wendell and Angela got out to an early lead, followed closely by Angela and Dome … wait, nope. Domenick dropped his stack. Laurel dropped her stack, Angela continued to close the gap with Wendell before he dropped his stack on the final ball. This made Angela nervous, and as such, dropped her stack leaving Domenick out in front. While Wendell started to close the gap, Domenick’s slow and steady approach proved to be the key, snatching final immunity and giving him the opportunity to pick one of his final three opponents. Jeff then handed him a message to open later that day.

The final four were taken away to Ghost Island where Wendell was panicked by the very real chance his dreams would shortly be coming to an end, with Ghost Island feeling like the salt in his wounds. While he knew Dom would not be taking him, he was confident in his ability to make fire. Dom pulled Wendell aside to see what he was feeling, with Dom agreeing that he won’t be handing him a place in the final tribal since he is his biggest competition. Dom then went to Laurel and told her to start practicing fire making, which immediately got her pleading to keep her since she can’t make fire and Angela would be the better option to get rid of Wendell. This in turn made him question Laurel’s motivation, since she seems to have given up. He then approached Angela to see how she felt about making fire with her saying she should be able to do it, though thought that she is definitely less of a threat than Laurel and if Laurel makes it to the end, she will undermine everything he has done.

Dom then pulled Angela aside and coached her in fire making before disappearing to read his final Ghost Island message which gave him the opportunity to pick one of the cursed urns from Australia, Cagayan and Game Changers where the winner of the final immunity booted the wrong person as the final juror with Tina beating Colby, Tony beating Woo and Sarah defeating the worse Culpepper. This made Dom nervous and he decided his best move would be to hand Angela immunity and go toe-to-toe with Wendell in the fire making challenge, either guaranteeing himself or Wendell a win rather than battling it out. He then selected the Cagayan urn and out of nowhere, I started to feel nervous for him.

At tribal council Dom BYO-ed his urn before Chris, Libby, Des, Jenna, Michael, Chelsea, Kellyn, Sebastian and Donathan filed in to fill up the jury. Probst caught everyone up on the new rule and asked Dom how their afternoon at Ghost Island went down. Dom was concerned about making the wrong decision, Laurel pleaded with her loyalty, Angela played a smart game – finally – and pointed out Laurel is more likely to throw mud at final tribal. Wendell then admitted that he was guaranteed to make fire, before Dom tried to bring up his plan to hand over immunity before Wendell spoke about being scared about building fire at the orange table since Malolo have cursed the entire colour.

Thankfully Dom’s nerves made him see sense as he took Laurel through to the final tribal council and threw Angela and Wendell to the fate of a fire making challenge. Angela proved a little bad ass and offered to swap to the orange fire-making table and allow Wendell to take the uncursed table. Sadly for her however, the orange curse seemed to continue, as Wendell built a strong fire and won his way into the final three whilst giving Dom some killer side-eye.

While we didn’t see much of Angela – aside from that killer episode when she won immunity – she is one of my dearest friends and I can assure you, she is hilarious and you missed out. We met whilst I was performing in USO shows and she was backstage for confronting me about joke theft. You see, I overheard her entertaining her fellow soldiers and wanting to be a success, I stole her book of jokes and slayed the performance. She wasn’t thrilled about the idea of forgiving me … until I whipped up a big batch of Angela Pumpkin Scones.

 

 

As Lady Flo is most widely believed to be the queen of the pumpkin scone, I looked to her recipe for guidance. Though obviously, this queen wanted to overtake her and as such I made some changes. A little bit sweet, a little earthy and altogether delicious, this is the perfect dish to wash away the pain of just missing your chance to attend final tribal.

Enjoy!

 

 

Angela Pumpkin Scones
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
2 tbsp butter
½ cup raw caster sugar
pinch of salt
1 egg, lightly whisked
1 cup cooled mashed butternut pumpkin
2 cups flour
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
milk, for brushin’

Method
Preheat oven to 220°C.

Place the butter, sugar and salt in the bowl of an electric mixer and beat for a couple of minutes, or until light and fluffy before adding the egg and pumpkin and beating for a further minute.

Fold through the flour, baking powder and cinnamon, and transfer to a floured surface. Roll out until it is 1-2cm thick and cut into circles.

Place the scones on a lined baking sheet, a couple of centimetres apart, and brush with milk. Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until risen and browned.

Serve immediately, slathered in butter for optimal devouring.

 

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