Previously on Survivor the final four arrived on the top of a mountain in Fiji for their final immunity challenge. The one that Jeremy won on his way to victory in Second Chances. It came down to a battle of New Jersey before Michele dropped and handed Natalie immunity, guaranteeing an epic run from first boot to final tribal council. Back at camp everyone split up to start practicing fire, with Winchele slaying while Tony and Sarah were both decidedly more nervous. That didn’t matter, however, as Natalie took Winchele through to final tribal with her, forcing Sarah and Tony to face off with the latter surprising with victory. Sending one of my newest faves Sarah to the jury.
The final three awoke on day 39, thrilled to discover their breakfast. We then heard from the finalists one by one, with Michele speaking about how hard it was to get such a backlash against her previous win. She admitted she was proud to prove the haters wrong and show with this game, that she is a good player and didn’t fluke her first victory. Natalie admitted that while her path was non-traditional, she owned the hand that was dealt her, gaming the hell out of the Edge and never giving up. She knew that her only focus was to convince the haters on the jury and prove that she deserves to be there.
Tony meanwhile planned to highlight how well-rounded his game was and always has been, and as such, knew he needed to convince the people whose dreams he crushed that he deserves victory. That being said, he is feeling pretty confident based on the game he played and the feedback Natalie gave everyone when she returned to the game. And felt like he was hours away from being crowned King to Sandra’s Queen. Which just feels so right, given they are both as chaotic as each other.
We then pivoted to the rain soaked tribal council where the final three were joined by the sixteen person jury – being without Sandra still hurts, I’m not going to lit – where Probst sadly didn’t pivot to the OG structure. And I will pause it there and fast forward a little bit because despite each of the final three playing a strong game, the jury didn’t seem to respect Michele’s stellar game and as such she was completely shut out of the vote. In an extremely undeserving fashion.
Given that pissed me off, I called a break in production and tapped Michele on the shoulder to eat out feelings early. And to apologise. Because I was firmly team Aubry during her original season, however it really had more to do with the fact that I love an underdog. And given how well Michele played from the bottom this season, I will gladly eat humble pie. Actually, I wish I was eating humble pie, because that would mean she would be joining Sandra as the second two-time winner. Instead, I cursed her into being a zero vote finalist by whipping up a Michele Fitzgerkald Chicken Pizza.
Yes, the curse has struck yet again. And I am so sad about it. That being said, as is always the case, this is so delicious it is hard to stay angry. Sweet, spicy and salty, it has it all – just like Winchele’s robbed goddess game.
Enjoy!
Michele Fitzgerkald Chicken Pizza Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor ½ cup muscovado sugar, plus 1 tablespoon for the chicken seasoning ¼ cup chicken stock ¼ cup ketchup ¼ cup glucose syrup 1 onion, half finely diced and sliced 3 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp red wine vinegar 1 tsp lemon juice ½ tsp chilli flakes ¼ tsp dried thyme ¼ tsp dried oregano ½ tsp ground allspice, plus a pinch for the sauce salt and pepper ½ tsp paprika ½ tsp garlic powder ¼ tsp cayenne pepper ¼ cup olive oil 2 chicken breasts, cut into a small dice 1 red capsicum, sliced 1 yellow capsicum, sliced 1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated 4 rashers streaky bacon, diced 2 shallots, sliced
Method Combine half a cup of muscovado sugar, the chicken stock, ketchup, glucose syrup, the diced onion, garlic, red wine vinegar, lemon juice, chilli flakes, thyme, oregano and allspice with a good whack of salt and a smaller whack of pepper in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until glorious and thick. Remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly.
Combine a tablespoon of muscovado sugar, a teaspoon of salt, half a teaspoon of pepper and allspice, with the paprika, garlic powder, cayenne pepper and the oil in a bowl. Toss the chicken to coat and cook in the frying pan over medium heat for five to ten minutes, or until cooked through.
Prep the base as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 200°C.
Roll out the dough and spread with the sauce, then scatter with mozzarella, the capsicums, sliced onion and the spicy chicken. Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden and bubbling.
While the pizza is cooking, fry the bacon over medium heat, or until golden and crisp.
Remove the pizza from the oven and sprinkle with the bacon and shallots. Before devouring, like the icon you’ve always been.
Previously on Survivor Tyson was coaching his fellow Edge dwellers in the art of losing, given he had now surpassed Rob for the number of times booted. The highlight of the little interlude, however, was Parvati and Natalie finding an extortion advantage where they could charge someone in the game however many Fire Tokens they wanted, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to play in the upcoming immunity challenge or vote at tribal council. Of course they went to Tony, who quickly charmed tokens from his fan club before winning immunity. Oh and he also found a hidden immunity idol, but that wasn’t relevant yet. In any event, while everyone wanted to split the vote between Jeremy and Michele, Tony rallied the troops to boot Sophie to make sure Sarah’s loyalty lied with him and him alone.
We returned to camp where Tony quickly tried to deflect his well thought out plan as merely a last minute decision, while Ben simmered in his jocks that his hit on Jeremy fell through. And hot damn, how funny it was to watch him sulk and ignore Jeremy while Jeremy rolled his eyes like a bloody icon. Speaking of being unhappy, Sarah was well and truly pissed at Tony for taking out her other closest ally as it clearly shows that he is making moves that solely benefit him. Despite assuring us that she was going to keep calm and carry on, she pulled grimy Tony away from camp and proceeded to tear him a new arsehole for ruining her game. Talking about how screwed she now is loud enough for the people she is talking about to hear. Tony tried to keep her calm and remind her that they have an idol in their pocket before Sarah agreed to forgive him until the point where it screws her.
Tony continued his apology tour, approaching Ben to assure him that he still wants to work with him and only went rogue to take out a bigger threat. Tony filled him in on the idol intel before Ben assured us that Jeremy will still be a target from now on. Oh and then Tony got shat on by a bird in the middle of the night. Which is important.
The next day Tony decided it was time to bring back his old faithful move of spying, this time taking to the sky in a well hidden perch atop a tree. Sarah hilariously arrived to tell him that nobody would be going to the well any time soon and that he should just go back to camp. Jeremy, Kim and Ben were back at camp, with Ben still refusing to talk to Jeremy while Kim decided now was the time to form an alliance to deal with Tony and Sarah. More specifically, Tony. With that, she approached Denise, Nick and Michele who were all keen to take control and get rid of Tony while they still had the chance.
Meanwhile on the Edge of Extinction Rob discovered a note instructing everyone to retrieve 20 coconuts each from the other side of the island, with the first six to finish getting two fire tokens while the rest get none. With that they were off and racing, with Rob out in front and Adam close to the back, while Danni decided to pace herself. Almost instantly Rob decided pacing himself would be the smartest move, taking the foot off the gas to reduce the target on his back. Obviously Natalie powered like a machine, while Adam continued to languish at the back of the pack. Well until Rob sliced his elbow open and gave up. At the front with Natalie was Sophie and honestly, why don’t people see her as the challenge beast that she is. As such, the girls were first to finish, followed by Yul, Tyson and Parv together, leaving Danni and Wendell to battle for the last tokens, with Wendell tragically taking it out. With everyone out of the race, Rob decided that he couldn’t let the challenge beat him and as such, he got back to work to see it through.
Meanwhile at Koru, Jeremy was still confused about why Ben was so salty with him, while Tony and Sarah continued to bicker, much to the delight of Nick. Amidst the chaos, Nick decided that now is the time to make an endgame deal, so approached Michele and Denise to form a final three, with the duo pulling Kim in for a controlling four given Nick knows that Jeremy, Tony and Sarah are all guaranteed to beat him. Speaking of the latter two, they stopped fighting long enough to realise that Sophie’s idol would now be back in play and as such, they need to find it to take control. But that is something that everyone had realised, as the tribe went hunting for it. Ben and Tony got together, with Ben sharing that Kim was trying to put together a plan against him, however the discussion was interrupted as Ben found the idol in front of Tony and, for reasons, TRIED TO HIDE IT.
Okay, so maybe not everyone is cementing their legacy this season.
My dear Probst arrived for the latest immunity challenge – the Teresa Cooper, Shi-Ann Huang and Parvati Shallow Memorial ‘When It Rains it Pours’. Aka, everyone’s hand is tethered above their head to a bucket of water with the last ones standing – of each gender, again – taking out immunity. While Ben was busy asking Probst for some food to tempt him out of the challenge, Jeremy dropped out of nowhere. He was followed by Ben and Sarah in quick succession, while Tony assured Nick that he won’t be dropping out because he wants a hattrick, but assured him it doesn’t mean they aren’t good. After 15 minutes Probst brought out peanut butter, cookies and milk to step out, which Kim, Michele and Nick jumped at, handing Denise and Tony immunity out of nowhere.
Back at camp Tony celebrated yet another victory, while Kim was smarting to have lost her shot to take him out. She joined Michele, Nick, Denise and Ben to figure out who to target instead, with them agreeing that Jeremy would be the cleanest option for everyone. Well except for Michele, who has been closely aligned with him from the start. Meanwhile Ben decided to be the worst and approached Tony to let him know about Kim’s plan to get rid of him. Tony then approached Nick, who tried to bumble his way out of the truth before admitting that Kim had thrown his name out there. With that Tony filled in Sarah, with the duo deciding that sticking with getting rid of Jeremy makes sense, given they need to keep Ben happy to have any chance of getting numbers. With that, Tony pulled Ben aside and asked him to focus on getting rid of Kim instead, given getting rid of Jeremy will hand the girls and Nick power and as such, screw them over.
At the shelter, Michele approached Jeremy to figure out a way to save him, throwing the idea of handing him her 50/50 coin to save him. Tony then approached Jeremy, who suggested he take the coin before going to Ben and trying to smooth things over. And while it didn’t appear to work, he did get the coin from Michele.
At tribal council Denise likened the aftermath of the last tribal council to horrible family therapy. Kim reminded Probst that the numbers shift day by day, with Tony correcting her and saying it was actually minute by minute and Jeremy said it was like being on a neverending treadmill. Talk soon turned to Michele, Kim and Nick stepping out of the challenge, with the girls both saying how much they regretted it while Nick said he got paid a fire token, but yeah, still regretted it. As such, everyone started whispering and going wild trying to formulate a plan, leaving Probst to commentate, while Kim rightly focused her attention on getting answers from Sarah. Tony tried to rally the numbers against Kim, Nick refused to vote for her and said he was voting Jeremy before Denise decided to be mature and put a stop to everything and said that she just wants to vote and go back to camp.
And with that, the tribe voted and Tony offered to play his idol for Sarah, before she declined. Jeremy considered playing Michele’s 50/50 coin but also backed out, which turned out to be the right move, as the tribe voted the iconic Kim from the game. It hasn’t happened in a while, but given we lost two iconic women back-to-back again, she followed the sounds of my ugly cries to the boat to the Edge of Extinction. I quickly jumped into her arms and told her how heartbroken I was to see her voted out despite riding the bottom for such a long time. Which is also a passion of mine. In any event, Kim is strong as hell and has a strong chance of making a return to the game, so I wiped my tears and gave her some returnee sustenance in the form of my Pizza Bakim Spudlins.
Stuffed, baked potatoes are so warming and nostalgic, reminding me of cold winter tuck shops in the ‘90s. But this is so much more than ham and cheese. Loaded like a pizza, it is packed with all the gloriously Italian flavours you could dream of.
Enjoy!
Pizza Bakim Spudlins Serves: 4.
Ingredients 4 large baking potatoes 1 tbsp olive oil ½ onion, diced 4 garlic cloves, minced 80g sliced pepperoni, roughly chopped 400g can diced tomatoes ½ tsp caster sugar salt and pepper, to taste 2 tsp dried oregano small handful of basil, shredded 100g mozzarella, grated 50g parmesan cheese, grated
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Scrub the potatoes if needed and dry well, before pricking them several times with a skewer. Place on a lined baking sheet and bake in the oven for 90 minutes, or until the outside is crispy but they feel soft.
While the tates or tating, heat the oil in a frying pan over medium heat and cook for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and pepperoni and cook for a couple of minutes to take the bitterness out of the garlic and to draw out the pepperoni oil, before you stir through the diced tomatoes. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for five minutes. Stir in the sugar and season with a good whack of salt and pepper, before stirring through the oregano and half of the basil.
Combine the cheeses in a bowl.
To serve, cut the potatoes into four, spoon over a generous ladleful of sauce, top with a generous helping of the cheese mixture and a sprinkle of the basil. And then, devour.
Previously on Survivor Jeff decided to thank his collection of winners by rewarding them all with a full family visit each, without even needing to compete. Both in the game and on the Edge. And ugh, it was honestly so sweet and beautiful. Sadly, the lovefest couldn’t last forever and after Tony took out immunity, things returned to chaos. Sophie and Sarah were deemed too close, Kim was too much of a threat and, Sarah and Tony didn’t like that Jeremy targeted her, so wanted him dealt with ASAP. Sadly for them, he used his Safety without Power advantage to leave the tribal council thwarting their plans. Sarah in turn stole Denise’s vote, Kim played her idol for Denise and it was all for nought, as Tyson was booted from the game once again.
Koru returned to camp where Jeremy was patiently waiting to find out who had been voted at the tribal council he bailed on, disappointed to discover that his ally Tyson had, once again, been voted out. Tony and Ben put pressure on Jeremy, questioning why he up and left despite openly wanting to take him out at the tribal council. Ben told us that he was happy to ride to the end with the five he voted with, while bickering with Jeremy in the present at camp. Meanwhile Michele and Kim were catching up, unsure what and who to believe any more. Michele rightly deduced that they are on the bottom and that they need to figure out how to get out of the mess, if they want any chance at winning. And given she has been playing from the bottom this entire game, I think we can all put to bed the fact that she didn’t deserve her first win. Winchele has game and honestly, is a modern icon.
While everyone proceeded to sleep, Tony was sitting up and decided that now was the right time to bring out a little of his Cagayan self again. He had successfully played a quiet pre-merge and managed to be the last remaining threat in the game, and now he could actually start to strike. Obviously that started with idol hunting under the cover of darkness, however sadly, he didn’t find anything before dawn when Nick joined him. Tony smartly sent him to search an area he had already checked, pretending to work together, which thankfully allowed him enough time to find his first idol of the season. Much to his boyish bloody delight. And again, I love him too.
As sun rose over Koru, Sarah was trying to find her new passion now that she has been a cop and a criminal, ultimately settling on fashion designer. And oh my God, is she actually funny and super charming. I mean, is this season just further proving why each person won their respective seasons. She had the tribe in stitches as the fellow girls modelled her stitches and craft. Well, everyone except for Tony, who felt it was a bit lame. As such, he decided to play the other side and bonded with Jeremy, Michele, Denise and Kim to figure out what they were planning by lulling them into a false sense of security. His play appeared to be working on Jeremy, however Michele appeared to be warily optimistic and Kim – classic Kim – saw right through him. She shared her fears with Denise, who strongly agreed. And as such, they both decided that getting rid of Tony should be their priority.
Over at the Edge of Extinction Tyson was talking to everyone, wondering if they were strong enough to handle losing the game. Given he has lost three – or four – times now, he was confident he would be ok, but worried about the newbies. Speaking of newbies, Natalie was bonding with Parvati on a walk before they stumbled upon a message in a bottle. The icons vowed to keep it secret and got to work searching the island before they realised the latest advantage would be hidden under the bed. Where the rest of their friends were hanging. At sunset, Parvati charmed everyone to go watch it with her on the other side of the island leaving Natalie to snatch the advantage. Giddy, the girls caught up away from everyone and discovered that they had found an Extortion Advantage, which gave them the chance to demand as many Fire Tokens as they want from someone in the game and if they failed to pay up, they’d be blocked from playing in the immunity challenge AND voting at the next tribal council.
They weighed up the options of whether they genuinely wanted Fire Tokens or simply to screw up somebody’s game, though Parvati suggested that they need to target someone totally chaotic who would refuse to back down. Obviously we then cut straight back to Tony, where we learnt that the icons – I wish they aligned – had charged him six tokens to retain his options. Oh and Nick spoke about the internet calling him a vampire and while it is not important to the plot, I feel it needs to be documented. At first Tony was thrilled about his advantage, until he realised that the extortion was against him and he had to pony up six tokens before the next immunity challenge.
Right on cue Denise appeared with treemail advising them of the upcoming immunity challenge, leading to Tony approaching his fake allies and asking for their tokens so that he can help them take power. He first approached Michele who expertly lied about spending all her money on an advantage in the return challenge on the Edge of Extinction, to avoid him knowing the truth. Tony obviously bought this hook, line and sinker and offered to go talk to Jeremy on his behalf. Jeremy freely offered up one of his tokens, meaning Tony had 4 in his possession. He then approached Nick, who offered one up with barely a thought. As did Ben, getting Tony out of the mess and proving why he is a bloody legend of the game.
At the immunity challenge the tribe would balance on a narrow beam and try to hold a statue on the end of a long pole. Tragically Kim was the first to drop her statue, while everyone else survived until the final section of the beam. Which took Denise, Michele and Sarah out in the quickest of succession. Tony started to struggle, however it was Nick and Sophie who were the next to drop, leaving Tony, Ben and Jeremy to battle it out. Well, until Ben and Jeremy dropped out of nowhere, handing Tony his second individual immunity ever.
Back at camp Kim wasn’t thrilled that Tony had won immunity, though was glad that he had painted a larger target on his back until she could find numbers to get rid of him. As such, she approached Sarah, Sophie, Nick and Ben – none of whom she trusted – to formulate a plan to split the vote between Jeremy and Michele at the next tribal council. With that intel, Kim and Denise approached Jeremy to see what he was planning to do and the three suggested voting out Ben instead. When in actuality, Denise and Kim were planning to blindside Jeremy. Speaking of Jeremy, he was hating on Ben, annoyed by literally everything he does, so approached Michele to lock in the vote.
With everyone calm and locked in, Tony decided that now would be the time to cause chaos and make a move, still wanting to target Sophie and free up Sarah, so that he is the only one she is loyal to. He lay in wait until just before tribal council before pulling Nick aside to see if he would join him in blindsiding Sophie, with Jeremy and Michele. While Nick was keen on the plan, Jeremy felt like Tony was lying and wasn’t open to the idea, given he was more interested in getting rid of Ben. Unaware that Tony truly was trying to save him.
At tribal council Sophie spoke about the distrust caused by everyone playing their advantages and idol last tribal council, given nobody had shared the information with everyone. Ben agreed that it put everyone on edge, with Jeremy succinctly selling it as everyone telling half truths. Sarah said now was the time to start building resumes, while Nick countered it is the hardest thing to balance; making a move to build your resume without becoming a target. Sophie spoke about the importance of building a strong resume without it looking like padding. Jeremy said that they need to remember that getting to the end is something else they need to focus on, because a resume is nothing if you are fourth. Jeremy, Ben and Sophie all spoke about how quiet it was back at camp, while Michele was just happy to lock in a plan quickly while Tony tried to turn it around and say that everyone was just exhausted from the previous scramble. Before Sarah spoke about the majesty of a blindside and pulling it off against such strong competition.
That obviously led to everyone voting and oh fuck, I am sad. Poor Sarah realised that she wasn’t the best, as Tony blindsided her and Sophie, sending the latter from the game with an idol in her pocket and leaving Sarah as an irate island. While Sophie took her exit in her stride, she admitted to me she was rather shocked and pissed as I pulled her in for a hug outside. I let her in on the fact that this season has kind of proved why everyone won their first season, and even when blindsided, they have cemented their legacies. And I would say none more so than Sophie (and Winchele, but that is an aside) – she dominated the pre-merge, was smart and flexible and damn I hope the Chickpea & Tophie Clarry gives her the energy to win the return challenge and take out the game.
I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times – there is nothing better than a curry. And given this one is vegetarian, it also gives you that smug feeling that it is healthier than usual. Though, when it tastes this yummy, that probably wouldn’t even cross your mind.
Enjoy!
Chickpea & Tophie Clarry Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 400g firm tofu, cut into a 3cm dice 1 onion, diced 400g can chickpeas, rinsed and drained ½ cup korma paste 400ml coconut milk ½ cup vegetable stock 1 ½ cups frozen peas
Method Heat a tablespoon of oil in a large skillet over high heat, and stir-fry the tofu for a few minutes or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a plate.
Pop the remaining oil in the skillet and release to a medium heat and cook the onion, stirring semi-frequently, for five minutes or until soft and sweet. Add the chickpeas and brown for a couple of minutes before adding the curry paste and cooking out the flavours before finally stirring in the coconut milk and stock. Stir to combine, bring to the boil, add the peas and simmer for 15 minutes, or until gloriously reduced.
Once the sauce has come together, add in the tofu and cook for a further minute or two before serving one a bed of rice and devouring.
Previously on Australian Survivor the Final Three arrived at the final immunity challenge, ready to face a no doubt brutal and traumatic bout of endurance to win their way to the final tribal council. Though not before their loved ones were wheeled out to make us all cry. While it was sweet to see everyone soften at the sight of their families, reminded of what they are playing for, Moana wins best family thanks to the iconic one-two punch of Queen Vinnie who is pure joy and love personified and her sweet wife Isabella. Tragically though, Moana was the first to fall out of the challenge and after David eventually took out the final victory, she was sent to become the final juror of the season.
The final two awoke on Day 50, shocked to have made it all the way to the end while Dave was still feeling guilty about having to blindside his friend Mo. Despite it not really being a blindside since she was one of two options. In any event, David reiterated how much he wants to win before listing his entire resume and hot damn, this is going to be a complete and utter blow-out, isn’t it? I mean, I forgot about the fire from scratch thing it was that long ago.
As they settled in for their final breakfast and mimosas – treat yo’ ‘self – by the shore, Sharn told us how big of a mistake Dave made by taking her to the end, given she is the first and only player in Australian Survivor to make it to 100 days in the game. Which yeah, it is super impressive. She spoke about how hard the first loss was on her and she assured us that she had a fire in her belly and was not going to lose again. And oh Sharn, I am starting to feel bad about you losing again.
At tribal council Sharn kicked things off with her opening statement, reminding them that she is the only person to have played 100 days in the game and the only one in their season that has never had their torch snuffed. She said that after the winners were booted first, she knew that runner-ups would be targeted soon after and as such, she kept things quiet. She highlighted that she played both sides all season, told them that not going to rocks was a huge move and her plan as the puppet-master was to ride the Golden God before turning him into her golden ticket. And well, it all just felt a little bit too staged no?
David followed that up with a super sweet, relatable speech, fanning over the jury and charming the shit out of everyone. He admitted to being the mole, he told them how he found his idols – playing Phoebe in the process – blindsided Locky out of a necessity, voted Harry out because he wanted more days played than him before switching tacts and apologising for voting out Tarzan because he loves him, but loves his family more. Oh and then he welled up talking about how much of a beast Brooke was and how much he loved Mo. Hell, is Sharn going to vote for him too?
Things turned over to the jury, with Locky asking Dave why his desire for a big game disappeared at the merge and he started to hide in a big alliance. Dave explained that being the Golden God got him to tenth last time, and as such he had to pull his head in if he wanted to make it to the end. Shonee then savaged Sharn by asking why she would bother voting for Sharn this time, when she didn’t the last time she was in this situation. Sharn spoke about how well she played this time and built up the alliance that dominated the merge, but didn’t really add anything else. A.K. spoke about the fact Sharn talked him out of going to rocks, and suggested that she can pick rocks for a chance to win his vote. Or leave it up to her game alone and damn, Sharn, the fact Zach laughed should tell you everything about the lack of votes coming your way.
After what felt like an eternity, Sharn opted to back herself and her game and as such, lost another vote.
Brooke decided to add some messiness to the proceedings, asking Dave why Sharn doesn’t deserve to win. Ignoring the question, he spoke about how he was the idol whisperer of the season before circling to the point, I think, by saying his relationships are what brought him to the end. Harry dragged Sharn for constantly pretending to be in alliances with people and pretending she was going to flip and while she tried to highlight it as good gameplay, Brooke reminded her that she burnt a lot of people in the process and as such, she was too focused on going to the end, rather than winning.
Oh and then Tarzan reminded Sharn that she told him to vote Mo in the near-rock tribal and while she tried to pretend that she was testing Tarzan’s loyalty, he thankfully pushed and said it wasn’t a test because if he did, Moana would have gone. This pissed off Moana who joined Tarzan in dragging her and while Sharn tried to dance around it and said it turned out to be her biggest move, Mo pointed out it was actually just her doing nothing. Harry then told her to keep telling herself that – slay – before Moana pointed out that Dave voting her out proved him to be weak, given he preached non-stop of competing against the best. She then asked the boldest question, asking whether he felt she played the bigger game. David expertly praised her and her game, apologising for ruining her dreams, reminding her that taking her to the end weakened his chances and ultimately they are playing for the title of SOLE survivor.
Dave then listed why everyone played killer games, praising them for their moves which is the exact reason why he made sure they all ended up on the jury. I mean, hot damn – that is a Todd Herzog level tribal council performance!
With that speech sealing the deal, the jury voted and then because of COVID-19, we awkwardly got to experience the single weirdest winner reveal of all time – potentially until Winners at War, I guess – as Andrew G was wheeled out to talk to Jonathan who was trapped in the US because of travel restrictions, before he tallied re-written votes in the US … which ultimately crowned David the winner of the game. Much to poor Sharn and her family’s bitter disappointment via satellite from their lounge room.
Tragically poor Sharn’s biggest fears came to a reality and while once again she came second, she does hold a tonne of records which prove her to be one of our best players. Despite how messy her second game may have been as her fears started to play on her mind. As such, I am so glad I was able to be on hand to once again provide her culinary comfort with a hearty batch of Lamb Sharnk Coombes Pies!
Now lamb shanks and I have a complicated past. I mean, despite what you may think, I’m not a fan of sucking meat off a bone (well, in the kitchen). But in pie form? Sign me up! Earthy, rich and encased in a gorgeously buttery pastry, there is no better may to eat your feelings.
Enjoy!
Lamb Sharnk Coombes Pies Serves: 4-8.
Ingredients ½ cup flour 1 tsp salt 1 tsp pepper 4 lamb shanks 2 tbsp olive oil 2 carrots, finely sliced 4 celery stalks, finely sliced 2 onions, diced 8 garlic cloves, minced ¼ cup tomato paste 1 ½ cup red wine 1 ½ cup beef stock 6 sprigs thyme, leaves removed 2 bay leaves 2-4 sheets shortcrust pastry 1 egg, beaten lightly 2 sheets butter puff pastry
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Combine the flour, salt and pepper in a large bowl and toss through the shanks to coat. Heat a good lug of the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and add the shanks, cooking for five minutes or until nice and caramelised on the outside. Transfer to a plate to rest.
Add the remaining oil to the dutch onion and saute the carrot, celery, onion and garlic for five minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the tomato paste and cook for a further minute. Repeat the process with the wine, followed by the stock before adding the thyme, bay leaves and shanks to the pan, covering and popping in the oven to cook for 2 ½-3 hours, or until the meat is falling off the bone.
Once cooked, remove from the oven – leaving it on – and carefully remove the meat from the bone and roughly chop into largish chunks. Return the meat to the pan, remove the bay leaves and cook over medium heat until the sauce has reduced.
To assemble, line 8 individual pie dishes with a square of shortcrust pastry to fit the mould. Line each and fill with some baking weights. Pop them on a baking sheet and transfer to the oven to cook for ten minutes, or until the pastry is starting to cook. Remove from the oven and remove the baking paper and weight combo.
Fill each dish with some of the shank mixture and brush around the rim of each dish with some egg, followed by closing with the puff pastry and cutting a little slit into the top. Brush the pie tops with more egg and transfer to the oven to bake for about half an hour, or until golden and puffed.
Previously on Survivor we entered the darkest timeline. After the tribes found out that only one of them would win immunity and the other two would each vote someone out, things got a little chaotic at new Sele and Dakal. While Parvati tried her best to move the massive target off her back, there was no way to avoid being swap screwed right out of the game. Meanwhile at Dakal, Tony built a spy bunker leaving Kim and Sandra alone to decide who to save out of Denise and Jeremy. While both the women wanted to protect Denise, Tony pushed hard to save Jeremy after reappearing, to ensure another threat stays. Which in turn led to Sandra giving Denise her idol to protect herself. Which she did, before using her own idol to save Jeremy and sent the Queen out of the game, rather brutally, with a single vote.
We opened up at the Edge of Extinction where Parvati was regaling everyone with tales of her first pre-merge boot, before she was delighted to see that Sandra followed her out of the game. Sandra told them about how she played herself out of the game, selling Denise her idol to stop another woman ending up on the Edge of Extinction, only for Denise to turn around, burn her and send her from the game with one, lonely vote. Parvati changed the direction of the conversation to find out how they were surviving on the Edge, with Rob explaining that fishing equipment was dire and honestly, it isn’t great. Sandra stopped the chit-chat and explained that she has no reason to stay in the game nor will she win the challenges to return and as such, she was leaving the Edge of Extinction. And asked them to get revenge on Denise on her behalf. While I get her decision, I am heartbroken that once again, we miss out on having Queen Sandra sitting on the jury. I mean, she was so damn close – I’m heartbroken.
Meanwhile back at Sele, Yul was talking about how awful the previous tribal council was, given Wendell was a total jerk and needlessly offered to make deals at tribal council. Which instantly made him question whether voting Parvati out was the right decision. Being sensible, Yul pulled Wendell aside to sound him out and see whether everything he said was legit and if he could trust him again. The next day, Wendell wisely went on an apology tour, which was going well until he sassed Michele for calling him on his bullshit. Yul then pulled Michele aside to check whether she was ok and the conversation went well, and honestly if this isn’t a ploy to take the target off their backs, Wendell is a terrible player. Particularly since Michele gave him one of her Fire Tokens to try and repair their relationship.
We returned to the Edge of Extinction where Ethan spoke about how difficult it was on the island, wondering why he was even staying there after Sandra left. He caught up with Parvati who reminded him that pushing through will make him feel super proud and as such, he needs to stick it out. He admitted that he is scared that needlessly starving on the Edge will weaken his body enough for his cancer to return, which is so heartbreaking, but seeing their sweet bond is so precious and I love them. Ethan walked to the flag where things took a positive turn as he discovered a box with a clue for each of them, advising them that four Fire Tokens had been scattered at the top of the hill and were free for the taking. Almost immediately, everyone ran off – leaving poor Amber to take the rice off the fire – with Tyson finding the first token, while everyone else wandered around confused about where the other three would be. Everyone showed that they didn’t find them by pulling down their pants, however it turns out that Rob had found the other three and had them hidden in his pockets.
Meanwhile over at Dakal Tony was entertaining the tribe with some sprints, showing off that he is built like a frail old man. Tony admitted that he is missing Sandra, though shared that while he lost his closest ally on the tribe, he was glad to still be in a good place. Tony was joking about Denise now being the biggest threat in the game and as such, she is now a dear friend of his. That being said, Jeremy still didn’t believe that anyone but Tony is the biggest threat right now. Kim meanwhile went for a walk to try and build her bonds with Denise and Jeremy, knowing that she needs to be tight with people and have a solid plan heading into the merge. And hot damn, do I ship this alliance and I am so glad that they want to work together.
We checked in with Yara where they were smashing some leftover PB&Js, which Sophie hoped would diffuse the growing tension in the tribe. Ben was getting paranoid about the idol, interrogating Adam about whether he had it, while Sophie worried that they would find it in her bag. This made Adam paranoid and angry, as he was sure that Sarah and Ben had the idol and they were being cagey about it. He then went to complain to Sophie about them, though she cautioned that maybe they all just need to get over the idol and come together. Queen.
Jeffrey arrived for the next immunity challenge where each tribe was required to carry a large saucer to a water tower, fill it with water, race through obstacles and fill a well. Once the well was full enough, puzzle pieces would be released and then, obviously, the tribes needed to solve a puzzle. The tribes were neck and neck running to get their saucers, well, until Michele axed herself on the balance beam. Dakal and Yara then took a slight lead, however Dakal dropped a tonne of water walking through the obstacles. Sele caught up, however dumped a lot of their water in the process, while Yara took it slowly, though managed to keep most of their water and released their puzzle pieces on the first go. Sele and Dakal soon got through their second runs and released their pieces, however Sophie and Ben had enough of a lead to power through and secure immunity while the others battled it out for second place. And despite fighting hard, Dakal pipped Sele at the post in a photo finish, sending them back to tribal council.
Back at camp Nick was heartbroken to have lost the same challenge twice, while Yul was frustrated that Wendell’s arrogance potentially held them up in the challenge. Oh and Nick spat on the tribe flag. Nick was annoyed at Wendell for their loss, particularly since he desperately wanted the four to stick together to the merge. Yul and Nick quickly locked in a vote for Wendell, though agreed to tell him they were targeting Michele. Meanwhile Wendell and Michele were planning to vote Yul, and were just hopeful Yul couldn’t pull something out. Michele and Yul caught up, with Yul playing it calm and kind before trying to formulate a plan for Michele to keep her hands clean at tribal council, getting Wendell’s fire tokens and hopefully getting her to share them with Yul.
Sadly the idea only made Michele and Nick nervous, worried about how smart Yul is and not wanting to be stuck blindly following him through the game. Though Michele is still also super keen to get her revenge on Wendell and she reminded us that despite spending four years thinking she didn’t deserve to win, this game is proving why she did. Hot damn – she is a Queen.
At tribal council Wendell spoke about how much it sucks to be back at tribal council, particularly since the challenge was so close. That being said, the loss didn’t change who would be voted out tonight. Yul spoke about being the last remaining Old Schooler, admitting that the game had evolved so much since his first game and as such, he has had to think harder, lie more and still try and keep people on side to get their Fire Tokens. Wendell spoke about finding people you can trust, Yul agreed that there is a finite time to build trust, unless you have pre-existing relationships and don’t have to go through with it. This forced Wendell to acknowledge his relationship with Michele and the fact he doesn’t want to go to the end with her. This led to Michele calling him out for being wishy-washy and said that if he doesn’t care what happens to her moving forward, why bother keeping him around?
Wendell tried to apologise – and I reiterate, this is all a ploy – before Nick said that he planned for this four to stick together until the end and if they go to the Edge, he hopes they can all come back. Yul said that while he would be bitter should he be blindsided, he would like to try to work with them should he come back. With that the tribe voted and tragically, Yul may need to test his maturity in that situation, as he was blindsided from the game.
I pounced on him as soon as he exited tribal council and refused to let go until he promised to go to the Edge of Extinction and stick it out to join the jury. And while he was super confused, given he didn’t know what had happened with Sandra, he promised. I pulled him in for a hug and thanked him from the bottom of my heart for coming back and showing just why he dominated Cook Islands. Aka it was never the super idol. He formed strong alliances, was smart and kind, and better yet, is a zaddy. Which more than earns anyone a piping hot Yullow Kwon Curry.
There is something so soothing about curry. No matter where it originates from, they fill your soul with warmth and help you take time out from the world (I am serious). This one is so rich and the potatoes melt in your mouth before you’re smacked with a kick of umami that brings it all together. Stunning!
Enjoy!
Yullow Kwon Curry Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, sliced thinly ⅓ cup yellow curry paste 600g chicken breasts, diced 3 potatoes, cut into 1 inch diced 400ml coconut milk 1 cup chicken stock 2 tbsp muscovado sugar ¼ cup coriander, roughly chopped 1 lebanese cucumber, diced ¼ cup rice wine vinegar salt and pepper, to taste 2 tsp fish sauce rice, to serve
Method Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and saute the onion for a few minutes, or until soft and fragrant. Add the curry paste and cook for a minute before stirring in the chicken, and cooking for a further couple of minutes to brown. Add the potatoes and stir to coat before stirring in the coconut cream and stock. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for half an hour. Stirring infrequently.
While the curry is cooking, combine half the sugar in a bowl with the coriander, lebanese cucumber and rice wine vinegar. Stir and season to taste, and leave to rest.
Once the chicken and potatoes are cooked and the sauce has thickened up, remove the curry from the heat and stir in the remaining sugar and the fish sauce, before adjusting the seasoning to taste.
Serve piping hot on a bed of rice, topped with the cucumber pickle. And devour, greedily.
Previously on Australian Survivor, Brooke was all alone, with only the love and dreams of the nation to keep her company. Well, that and the immunity necklace, which she won for a record breaking fifth time, despite the fact we’re all forgetting the pre-merge victory. Back at camp David and his bland (well, dominant) alliance realised that they needed to flip on themselves, splitting down gender lines with Tarzan pushing to get rid of Sharn and Moana suggesting they get rid of Tarzan in the hope that David could defeat Brooke at the next immunity challenge. Ultimately though, David sided with the girls, while Brooke tried to vote for Dave – despite his idol – and poor Tarzan was booted from the game.
The next day Sharn was doing ASMR about Tarzan to David to make sure he knows just how much she really, truly valued him and everything he did. Though love me, David, LOVE ME is all I heard. Thankfully Brooke was acting as the voice of the public, calling out Moana and Sharn for playing a boneheaded game and not trying to take a shot at David when they had the chance. Though once again, she was hopeful to win immunity, fuck up their plans and force them to send him out of the game and start writing her winner’s cheque.
Meanwhile Dave joined Brooke near the shelter and after coughing like you would pre-COVID, sat down with her to ask if she is still hellbent on facing off against him. Brooke laughed it off, saying she literally has no options and nobody wants to work with her, so he is safe … unless he is interested in working with her. Knowing that he is completely falling apart after back-to-back seasons, he said that he would be interested to work together since whoever loses the next challenge is going home. But if they work together, they can save themselves and make this interesting.
After putting the idea out into the universe, Dave approached Moana to reiterate the importance of getting rid of Brooke at the next tribal council. Moana then spoke about how much she, David and Sharn need to win the game, which honestly annoys me, because this game shouldn’t be about need. I mean, that is what GoFundMe or my fellow high school alumni Celeste Barber is for!
We then got some generic filler supercuts with Brooke reminding us that Sharn and Moana dogged her at the last tribal council, Dave reminded us that he is playing his game for his kids and to be able to spend more time with them. He then started to cry about spending so much time away from them playing two seasons and just like that, I am back to wanting Dave to win. Or well, being ok with it … if Brooke can not.
My love Jonathan arrived for the penultimate immunity challenge of the season and hot damn, it’s a doozy! The final four would race to roll a ball down a shoot, race through obstacles and catch it before it hits the ground. They would then shoot the ball into a cup before shooting coconuts at a wall to break two tiles, then crawl under a ladder dragging a bag, building a ladder and scaling a wall before collecting three bags each containing a ball. Which they would then guide to the top of an upright maze to land them in three holes. And then they win immunity. As has become the way, David and Brooke were neck and neck at the start of the challenge with Brooke the first to catch her ball on the obstacle. Sadly while she struggled to land her ball in the cup, David made it past the first obstacle and quickly landed his ball. He then continued to extend his lead, crashing through the first tile as Brooke landed her ball. She quickly cracked her first tile, evening things up and making things more interesting than Jonathan’s spicy commentary. That being said, I do love David busting nut after nut. Brooke cracked her second tile just before David, as they went neck and neck under the net.
Oh and Sharn and Moana were absolutely nowhere. That isn’t relevant, but lol.
David made it over the wall first and had a slight lead going into the maze, before Brooke caught up. Both of them shaking from fatigue as they worked on the maze as Brooke landed her first ball which was quickly followed by David’s first. Brooke tried to play it fast to get a lead, though dropped right at the top giving David a lead as he landed his second. And while she fought valiantly, he landed his third and secured immunity. Back at the start of the challenge, Sharn and Moana were just thrilled to be able to stop while David and Brooke hugged, both crying as he congratulated her on being a beast and apologised for crushing her dreams. Well since it is obvious that Brooke is joining the elite group of fourth place robbed goddesses, I guess I am thrilled that it is Dave that will be taking out the win.
The final four returned to camp where David couldn’t wipe the smile off his face, praising Brooke on her continued challenge prowess. She then went to quietly reflect on the end of her game, while Dave worked to assure Sharn and Moana that they too are safe. Knowing that she needs to dig deep, Brooke caught up with Sharn by the fire and suggested that she is ending her own game by voting out Brooke, given that Moana and David will both take the other to the end over her. This made Sharn paranoid and contemplated her options, giving Brooke enough ammunition to approach Moana and let her know that Sharn, once again, is playing both sides. Because Brooke wants to battle Moana at final tribal council
While they were chatting, Moana and Dave caught up about the fact that they don’t have anything to worry about given at worst, it will be a tie and she and Brooke will need to face off in a fire challenge. That being said, Moana was hopeful that her real world friendship would be enough to stop Sharn from flipping. Brooke didn’t even need to talk to Moana, as Sharn’s growing cockiness at the thought of having the game locked up made Moana nervous about what her friend was planning. As such Moana approached Brooke to find out what Sharn was playing at, with Brooke pointing out that Moana truly needs to make sure she is in the final three with two other people that want to take her to the end and keeping her in the game means both she and Dave would take her, guaranteeing her a shot at final tribal. Which honestly is the best possible pitch because Moana is literally the only person that would be guaranteed to make the end in that situation. And realistically won’t go if she is in the final three with David and Sharn who would take each other, for some weird reason in Sharn’s case.
At tribal council – which was interrupted by another confusing, meandering presser from the PM (just tell us to stay inside and act like we hate COVID like Jacinda, please) – David spoke about his shock at making it to this point, a guaranteed shot at the final immunity challenge. While he was elated, he was kind of surprised that nobody went after him despite the mammoth target on his back. Continuing to play to the jury and the audience, David rightly lavished Brooke with praise and said that playing against her has been the biggest honour and joy for him. On the flipside, Brooke was disappointed to have lost immunity though took it with grace. But not lying down, advised Moana and Sharn that whoever joins her tonight will be the one she takes to the end. She then read them both for filth, pointing out they both told her that they can’t win at the end against Dave, and nor can they beat him at final tribal and as such, they’re stupid not to at least try going against her.
This annoyed Sharn who said that while that was Brooke’s pitch, she never actually said that she didn’t think she could beat Dave and lol. I mean, I loved Sharn in her first season but how in the hell can she not see that she has – to quote Spencer – zero percent chance of winning the game? Brooke called her out for lying and told her that she has admitted that she has no chance against Dave, then went in on her and continued to paint her as a shady liar. Brooke then heaped praise on Dave as the best Survivor player in the world, trying to scare Moana into action. This led Sharn to step in and fight, reminding everyone (read: Moana) that this is the only path for Brooke and honestly, she will win final immunity if she gets there. Sadly that logic is flawed, given she has said time and time again that Dave will win in the end, so if she does win final immunity, she will take anyone but him. And while they’re both kind of guaranteed to lose unless they are against each other, they surely have a better chance against Brooke.
Moana jumped in and said that while Brooke doesn’t think either of them have the ability to beat Dave, it is up to them to prove her wrong. And while I admire the confidence, I don’t know if they are accounting for who is sitting on the jury. That being said, if Moana didn’t think she could beat everyone left, she would have blindsided them. Sharn agreed that she also thinks she can win – lol – before David admitted that he is fully aware that should he lose final immunity, he knows that he is going to come in third. Smelling blood in the water, Brooke said that taking someone strong to the end is the boldest play you can make and already, she would award Dave the title knowing what he is visibly done. Though she knows that he has played harder than that and will have a compelling case.
Moana said she was confident in the direction she has chosen to take, while Brooke said that people have suggested they may vote with her, they all need to realise that loyalty won’t get you to the end. More specifically, it won’t give you money to buy your family a house, Mo. With that the tribe voted and tragically Brooke was finally felled from the game, though thankfully she joined the illustrious ranks of our fourth place robbed goddesses – Flick, Michelle, Shonee and Luke.
Through tears, I stood at the doors of Jury Villa and applauded our newest queen as she arrived to officially join the ranks of the iconic fourth placers. Please note that every fourth placed robbed-goddess has also played the game twice, which is a testament to their skillz and charm. Given I was overwhelmed by emotion (and knowing that Brooke’s loss likely put us on the trajectory we’re currently on in corona-ville) and I knew Brooke would be in need of some much needed nourishment, I quickly whipped up a Roast Chooke Jowett and toasted on playing the best losing game of the season.
Like her underdog journey, there is something so nourishing and wholesome about a perfectly roasted chicken. Your home is filled with a gorgeous aroma, there are leftovers for days and honestly, you feel a little bit smug because it always seems much more daunting than it is. Essentially, it is a culinary hug, which is what Brooke deserves.
Enjoy!
Roast Chooke Jowett Serves: 4-6, depending on the amount of leftovers you want.
Ingredients 1 large free-range chicken 2 medium onions, peeled and halved 2 carrots, peeled (or just washed, no judgement) and cut into 3cm lengths 2 sticks of celery, just into 3cm lengths 1 bulb of garlic, peeled and bruised olive oil 1 bunch of mixed fresh herbs, ideally thyme, rosemary and sage 1 lemon, pierced with a skewer salt and pepper, to taste 1 tbsp flour, ¼ cup vermouth and 2 cups of chicken stock, should you want to make an accompanying gravy
Method Preheat the oven to 240°C and take the chicken out of the fridge for about half an hour to come to temperature.
Throw the onion, carrot, celery and garlic in a large baking dish with a drizzle of olive oil and toss to combine. Grab the chicken and shove the herbs and lemon inside the carcass. Drizzle with oil and season with salt and pepper, rubbing over to make sure it is well coated. Place the chicken on top of the vegetables, reduce the oven to 200°C and transfer to the oven to cook for 1 hour and 15-30 minutes, depending on the size of the chicken.
Remove chicken from the oven, transfer to a plate, cover and rest for fifteen minutes at which point, mash all the veggies in the pan juices should you be making a gravy. Add the flour and cook over medium heat on the stove until bubbling. Whisk in the vermouth and stock and cook, stirring, until a thick, glorious gravy is formed. Season with pepper.
Serve the chicken with your fave roast veggies, drowned in gravy with some white crusty bread for sopping up – like a queen – as you devour.
Previously on Survivor we skipped checking in on our Queen of Fire Tokens Natalie and her friends on the Edge as it was time for the tribe switch! Sandra and Tony remained on top with Kim on new Dakal, while Parvati and Michele were driving the boys wild on new Sele and the mess trio of Rob, Ben and Adam were joined on the newly formed Yara tribe along with Sarah and Sophie. After the latter messed up the puzzle and booked Yara a trip to tribal council, the boys locked in their votes for Sarah despite their differences. Then Rob robbed, forcing everyone into the buddy system for the afternoon, allowing Sarah and Sophie to pantomime some plans to the boys before they joined together to blindside Rob from the game.
We ventured back to Yara the next day where the kids were thrilled to be liberated from Boston Rob; free to do what they pleased and talk to whoever they damn wanted. Ben shared that he voted for Rob because he felt a general lack of respect from him, which is why he wanted to reclaim control of his own game. Plus, he had grown really close to Sophie and Sarah and couldn’t bring himself to vote them out. Something that Adam noticed, and now worried that voting out Rob was not a good move for his game as he is now well and truly on the bottom of this tribe.
Speaking of Rob, he was loving life on the Edge of Extinction, hanging with his wife and being all cute until Tyson arrived with a note written on a log offering them the chance to earn another fire token. Obviously this filled Natalie, Amber, Danni and Ethan with dread having flashbacks to their torturous challenge before Tyson explained that they wouldn’t be pushed to the brink – today – and instead, would need to search amongst stones to find their reward, being mindful of being in the right place at the right time. Obviously that meant something about the tides and while Rob and Amber climbed the cliff, Tyson hung close to the shore and found an idol nullifier tethered to a log. Sadly for him, Rob saw him find it, leading to him needing to pretend to pee so that everyone would turn around so that he could grab it. Knowing that Parv is rolling in fire tokens, Tyson sold it to her and then immediately purchased a jar of peanut butter with his token. Rather than an advantage in the return challenge. Which honestly, is the exact choice I would make in that situation. Plus, it does give him some energy for the challenge anyway.
My love Jeffrey arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes would race out to a boat and retrieve three bags of rice. They would then work them through an obstacle, take it back to the shore and cut the bags to release three balls … which they would then use to complete a table maze. Oh and to make matters worse, only one tribe would be winning immunity today, as both losing tribes would attend tribal council separately and vote somebody out. Making everyone look like they were about to shit their pants, something that knowledge that PB&Js awaited the winners couldn’t even allay.
Yul got Sele out to an early lead, wth Yara and Dakal fighting it out for second place. Sele quickly got all their bags through the obstacle, with Dakal working hard to close the gap while Yara brought up the rear. Wait, no, they caught up again and Dakal was behind. Sele and Yara both made it to the maze at the same time, giving them an early lead over Dakal. Nick made quick work of the puzzle, landing the first ball, with Sophie quickly following and landing Yara’s first. Wendell and Kim each dropped their balls for Dakal and Sele leaving Adam to land Yara’s second ball. Wendell managed to land a second ball for Sele while Sophie danced around the third ball for a couple of seconds before ultimately landing it and giving Yara immunity.
Back at Sele the tribe commiserated about their loss while Parvati shared that she is feeling well and truly screwed, given the guys hold the numbers and that she is the biggest threat left in the game. Nick was sad about potentially getting rid of Parv, given he had always wanted to play with her but knew that he had to stick with his allies. Meanwhile Michele and Parvati caught up and agreed that yeah, Parvati is pretty much screwed, but Michele got to work trying to find one person to flip over to them. She started by approaching her ex about throwing a vote on him with Parvati to guarantee she gets her fire tokens when she is booted. This obviously made Wendell nervous and angry that she would force the vote to needlessly end up at 3-2. Parvati then tried her hand talking to Wendell and while the two of them couldn’t see eye to eye or trust each other, he did offer to vote however she wanted him to for two of her fire tokens.
While she got nothing out of him, she used that information to approach Nick to let him know that Wendell would vote him out if she paid him two fire tokens and as such, he shouldn’t trust him. And obviously that was enough to put doubt in Nick’s mind as he realised that while Parvati is a threat, it is very obvious, while he didn’t expect Wendell to be playing such a dirty game against him and as such, maybe now is the right time to turn on him.
At tribal council Wendell spoke about the fact that this season would be dictated by prior relationships, however his plan is to compartmentalise and stab everyone in the back if and when he needed. This made Nick nervous, agreeing that that may have been how they played their winning games, but that may not be the right way to win this time. Michele agreed that everyone has played a winning game and each game is different, for example, hers was more social and maybe that is what it will take this time. Parv joined the fray to agree with the others, reminding them that she likes to work with people and build trust, rather than backstabbing them. Which is true. This made Wendell annoyed because everyone was painting him as the bad guy in the situation, when he hadn’t even actually backstabbed anyone but was simply being real. Which I guess is true, but is also a terrible thing to say in Survivor.
Parvati slyly mentioned that maybe that was a pointed comment at Michele – QUEEN – with Michele agreeing that Wendell doesn’t really speak to her kindly because they have gone through things together. Parvati admitted that she feels like Wendell hasn’t really been open to her all game, which annoyed him and made him talk about the fact he was open with her about the fact she would be going home. Parv called him out on it and mentioned the offer to vote with her, which he jumped on and agreed that it is still on the table. Parv being the icon that she is, pushed him to name a name then and he stammered into silence, hopefully enough to convince Yul or Nick to join her. Wendell then tried to play the victim, sharing that he is the only one giving anything and she didn’t bother trying to come to the table.
Yul admitted that he was feeling nervous after watching them fight, unsure whether the plans that were made that afternoon would go ahead. Michele said that she loves everyone and that she truly didn’t want to hurt anyone, leading to Nick telling her that she needs to grow a backbone because people will be turning on each other for $2M. With that the tribe voted and despite pushing hard, Queen Parvati was tragically booted from the game. Though honestly, the fact she lasted this long has been a near miracle given the size of her target. Oh and in a moment of solidarity with an up and coming queen, she bequeathed her tokens to Michele.
I grabbed Parv on her way out the door and pulled her in for a massive hug. While I was gutted to see her go out the door, she once again came into the game with the biggest target and the fact it took a bad swap to finally take her out after a masterful start to the game was nearly exhilarating. Plus, if one of those Edge challenges is endurance, she is the clear favourite to come back. She was obviously touched by my gushing, though more touched we got to share a pair of Parvati Shalloaded Sausage Rolls like the besties we are.
These are a little bit basic and a little bit trashy, but so am I. And when something tastes this good, I will defend it for all time. Combining all the fixin’s – to borrow a phrase of Probst – from loaded fries and throwing them on a snag roll, it is the easiest way to fill you with joy. Or dull the pain of losing Parvati.
Enjoy!
Parvati Shalloaded Sausage Rolls Serves: 2.
Ingredients 2 Alyssausage Edwards Rolls or frozen ones, no judgement 4 rashers streaky bacon, diced ⅓ cup vintage cheddar, grated 3 shallots, sliced 1 tbsp sour cream pinch of smoked paprika
Method Cook the sausage rolls per Alyssa’s recipe (or the packet instructions).
Pop a small skillet over medium heat and cook the bacon until nice and crisp.
To assemble, pop a snag roll on your plate, top with a little bit of cheese, some bacon, the shallots and a little more cheese – the quantity is but a suggestion, follow your heart not your cardiologist. Drizzle with the sour cream and dust with the smoked paprika, before devouring immediately.
Previously on Australian Survivor, David secured back-to-back wins in the reward and immunity challenges. Most importantly, he also gave us two beautiful nudes scenes which really does count for something, in my mind. The best of which occurred at the reward, where he had taken his allies Sharn, Moana and Tarzan for an overnight holiday and showered in nature like an actual God. Despite that majesty, the reward meant he left Jacqui alone back at camp with the minority alliance and boy did they work her! At tribal council, Jacqui flipped to their side and they loaded their votes on Moana, while her former alliance all voted for her. While the minority alliance was keen to go to rocks, Sharn convinced them that she would join their side if they let Jacqui go and as such, she headed out to become the queen of the jury.
Back at camp things were decidedly awkward as Sharn tried to act like she was friends with everyone, officially killing off her chances at winning the season. She buddied up to Brooke and Shonee first, the latter of which rightly pointed out that David only wants to keep people he can beat around and as such, she isn’t making it to the end. She then swung by David and Tarzan to pretend that everything that happened at tribal was simply one big act, when in actuality, Tarzan knew she was now lying to them given she mouthed at him to vote Moana in the revote. When I was about to love him, he opted not to call her out and now I am sad and need him to go.
The next day Sharn was still busy buddying up to the Vakama trio when a cow straight up wandered into camp. Obviously Shonee and Brooke approached to see if it would like any pats or better still, to join their alliance and go to the final four with them. Feeling nervous about being replaced by a bovine, Sharn sidled up to David again and reiterated that she is still definitely with him and was solely telling them everything they needed to hear. Which again, is why she lost her first game. And is why she is now the perfect person to take to the end. While David didn’t say that, he did assure her that he is still all in on taking her to the end. And coupled with Shonee’s comment about him only wanting to take people to the end he could beat, that should tell her what he thinks of her current chances.
The tribe all sunbaked by the shore and gossiped before a stewing Tarzan won back my heart, pulling Moana aside to let her know that Sharn was gunning for her at the last tribal council. And given he is so honest, Moana originally wanted to believe him but instead, she and David blindly assured him that Sharn wouldn’t have meant it and he must have misunderstood her.
#JusticeForTarzan
With them occupied, Brooke and Shonee went hunting for an idol for a little bit before gossiping about Sharn losing five jury votes if she dicks them over. Oh and then Shonee reminded us that she is the reason Sharn lost her first season and should she fuck with her, she will gladly makes sure she comes second again. Elsewhere the erstwhile runner-up approached AK to assure him that she is all in with the alliance and while she is keen to get rid of Dave, she also wants to make sure they do it at the right time.
My love Jonathan arrived for the immunity challenge where each tribemate was required to keep themselves wedged between two frames with the last one standing winning immunity. Aka when you used to try and hold yourself up in a door frame and act super cool in the 90s. Almost instantly, AK dropped – due to an ACL injury, FYI – followed closely by Moana and Sharn, who is just as hapless at the challenge as she is in the game. When trying to transition to a higher section of the frame, we lost our Queen Shonee before Tarzan followed after 15 minutes. The remaining two fought it out for another full 30 minutes before David started to struggle, wriggling around while Brooke sat motionless in the frame until finally, after 75 minutes, David dropped and Brooke snatched yet another immunity.
Back at camp David was feeling salty as everyone congratulated Brooke on how easy she made the challenge look. With him simmering, Shonee, Brooke and AK went for a walk, hoping Sharn would follow so they could fashion a plan. She eventually followed them to the well, with AK pushing everyone to load the votes on David, offering himself as the other groups target as he would rather get idoled out than be a sitting duck. Sharn eventually disappeared to chat with her other allies, while Shonee and AK laughed about how screwed Sharn is at the end, should she flip on them. Meanwhile Sharn and Moana were locking in the vote for Shonee, with Moana pointing out how happy that would make Sharn since she wants revenge on her for losing her first season. WHAT?! I think it was your terrible performance in front of the jury. Oh and then she suggested she is playing a killer, covert game this season.
LOL.
After locking in the vote, she disappeared to hang with the Vakama trio to make sure they thought she was in with them. That gave Tarzan time to remind David that he is in grave danger tonight and they really need to think about something other than trusting Sharn. With that, David filled them in on his idol and suggested that he go to Sharn and let her know about the idol and promise her that it is the two of them until the end. He then went and did just that as Sharn fangirled over him and congratulated him on a game well played, she then told us that she could see right through his plan and as such, knew it would be safe to target him tonight.
At tribal council AK admitted to regretting turning on Jacqui, as the risk of rocks was less of a risk than trusting Sharn. Shonee and Brooke joined him by explaining that they were super keen to go to rocks, until Sharn promised to work with them. Sharn then admitted to everything in front of the jury, with Shonee pointing out that should she join the jury because of Sharn, it won’t end well for her. Essentially. Sharn then said that she was happy with the decision she has made for the vote ahead before David tried to play into her ego, saying Sharn has played a great game this season and as such, he wants to face her at the end. AK started to try for the same pitch, encouraging her that now is the time to make a big move and that joining them is pretty much the only way for her to do it.
David tried to remind her that he wants to work with her, while AK and Brooke worked harder, reminding Sharn that taking out David would be best for a lot of people’s games, not just the Vakama trio. AK then started to shoot himself in the foot, talking about changing his mind about who he wants to sit with at the end after each tribal council, based on who is left and how the ones that have gone were voted out. David used this to his advantage, assuring them that he has always been solid and hasn’t swayed from who he wants to go to the final four with. A sentiment which was echoed by Sharn and then Moana.
With that they voted and once again Sharn blindly trusted the strongest man in the game to her detriment, sticking with her OG alliance to send our beloved Queen Shonee from the game. And fuck am I completely enraged! I mean, if you listen carefully during the count, you can hear my screaming expletives from the Jury Villa, vowing to ruin Sharn’s life. While I have slightly calmed down since I am now busy worrying about everyone’s life since COVID-19, I am still furious about her decision to end my queen’s game. But I am no longer planning to ruin her life which is growth. Though let’s be honest, even if I did and she sued me, I honestly don’t think I would need to worry about facing her in court. Given she crumbles in front of a jury, right?
I know, I know – it was a long journey to get ro a boring read about her sucking at final tribal council. But I digress.
As soon as I stopped crying enough to see Shonee in the Jury Villa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and muttered repeatedly about her being a precious angel and needs to win this show eventually and that she better not end up like Cirie, just coming back and never getting the win she deserves. Obviously I sounded completely unhinged but Shon being Shon, she held me tight and assured me that everything is going to be ok.
“But cherub, maybe it would be even better with a little snack, no?”
As it is written, so it shall be done and as requested, I gifted her a piping hot, delicious Shoneedi Burgfax.
I will die on a hill that Oporto’s Bondi Burger is one of the great take-away burgers. Breaded, juicy chicken, chilli that knocks your socks off and a gorgeously creamy mayo work together to create not just a delicious burg, but the perfect way to honour an icon like Shonee.
Enjoy!
Shoneedi Burgfax Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 dried habanero chillies, seeded and chopped 2 tsp hot paprika 6 garlic cloves, minced 2 tsp minced ginger ½ tsp raw caster sugar 2 lemons, zested and juiced ⅓ cup vegetable oil 2 chicken breasts, sliced into two fillets each 1 cup flour, for dredging 1 tsp kosher salt 4 burger buns ¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain 1 cup butter lettuce, washed and shredded 4 slices provolone cheese
Method Start by prepping the chilli sauce by combining the habanero, paprika, garlic, ginger, sugar, lemon juiced and oil in a jug and stir until well combined.
Pour half the chilli sauce into a bowl and add the chicken, tossing through until well coated. Cover and transfer to the fridge to marinate for an hour or so.
When you’re good to go, remove the chicken from the fridge and combine the flour and salt in a bowl. One at a time, remove the breast from the chilli sauce, draining off excess liquid before dredging in the flour mixture. Place on a plate and repeat the process.
Pop a large skillet over medium heat and lightly brush with some extra vegetable oil. Fry the breasts for about five minutes each side until golden, crisp and most importantly, cooked through.
To assemble, split the buns – my favourite part – and spread each side with mayo. Place the lettuce on the bottom followed by a chicken breast, cheese and a generous spoon of the reserved chilli sauce.
Previously on Australian Survivor we had a very convoluted non-elimination journey involving three tribal councils, six exiled castaways, three people saved via challenge and one person booted. With David, somehow, remaining out of the fray despite being the biggest threat and not once winning immunity. After feeling left out of her alliance, Jacqui looked to make a move against David but after looping in Sharn and Moana she learnt that while they were happy with her plan, they would let her act alone, claim the move and unbeknownst to her, take all the wrath of David when his goat Zach was blindsided.
The next day we saw bats – COVID-19 trigger warning – on our way to check in with the tribe where Jacqui was still riding high after her Zach blindside, hungry for more and more to line up and fill her resume. She then dressed in David’s clothes and strutted around camp, anointed herself as the golden goddess and hot damn, why haven’t we seen this Jacqui all season. This is the icon we fell in love with in season 2! Meanwhile elsewhere in camp, Shonee and Brooke were eating scum water from the tribe’s pot, living their absolute best lives. Thrilled to have found a crack by blindsiding Zach, the duo used Jacqui’s pride to their advantage and pulled her aside in the water to praise her on a job well done and to try formulate a plan for the next vote.
On the flipside, David was back at camp feeling absolutely miserable. Annoyed that his meat shield is no longer around to protect him, he was nervous that people would sense weakness and come for him should he not regain control. Or win immunity. As such he continued to foster his relationship with Tarzan, in the hopes that he will protect him and keep their alliance tight. The boys then bonded by stripping off and skinny dipping together, which doesn’t make sense. But it makes me wet, so I don’t care.
They popped their pants on and returned to camp where Moana was desperately trying to hide her joy at losing Zach, while Jacqui continued to monologue about how great her blindside was. Did you know she flipped on Zach? Jacqui orchestrated a blindside? Jacqui voted out Zach, you hear? While Jacqui moved on to the next person to talk about her brilliance, Moana caught up with Dave to share how upset she was that Zach was gone. And then told us how safe she is, because she has surrounded Dave with people that are more loyal to her than him. And hot damn, is she actually playing an amazing game?
My love Jonathan returned for the reward challenge where they would each have to hold a spear over a tile using two handles pulled apart to maintain tension, with the last person standing winning the reward. And it was for an overnight spa reward complete with snacks and alcohol, so you know Queen Shonee needed this victory more than anyone else. Shocking me, Brooke was the first person to drop, followed closely by Tarzan and Jacqui. After fighting for another couple of minutes, Moana and Sharn dropped out of nowhere. After ten minutes, AK blanked and dropped out leaving David and Shonee to battle it out yet again. They continued to fight it out for over half an hour as Shonee offered to take Dave with her, should he want to offer her the same. After forty minutes and a cheeky readjustment, our queen dropped her spear and tragically lost reward. Oh and then David selected Sharn, Moana and Tarzan to join him, leaving her empty handed again.
Talk about rubbing salt in our icon’s wounds.
Back at camp however she didn’t pout and instead got to work rubbing it in Jacqui’s wounds instead, and vowed to use her time wisely to keep Jacqui onside. As they all joked about how stupid David is for not leaving Tarzan who they all know would never flip on him, Shonee decided to continue the charm offensive and gave Jacqui an island facial. After finishing the pampering, the group then decided that getting rid of Dave is – finally – their priority and as such, needed to identify the right people to flip. With Jacqui assuring them that Moana and Sharn would definitely be keen.
Speaking of Moana and Sharn, they were stumbling upon their reward with David and Tarzan as the group marvelled at their spoils. Including but not limited to, snacks, champagne and nail clippers, the latter being the most important win for David. Sharn pointed out how desperately Jacqui wanted to attend the reward and as such questioned whether he was playing the game smartly. David then showered and like me, Sharn couldn’t take her eyes off him and honestly, I have never related to her more. We then had a little pow wow with Dave, where he shared that his decision to exclude Jacqui isn’t stupid, given he knows he also can’t trust Sharn, however she is the one that is more likely to stay loyal if he keeps her close. And plus, Jacqui is a lost cause and leaving Sharn back at camp risks losing another ally. The newly scrubbed-up victors then sat around the fire and locked in a plan to blindside Jacqui and oh god, please keep Shonee safe.
The two groups reconvened and met Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would have to untangle themselves from a rope tangled over a pole, with the first five continuing on to the next stage where they need to walk through some obstacles while balancing a ball on a pole before landing it in a bucket of water. Three would then continue to solve a puzzle, with the winner snagging immunity. Queen Shonee’s challenge streak appeared to end, quickly getting tangled in her rope while Tarzan, Jacqui, Moana and AK pulled away. Ultimately Tarzan made his way to the second stage first, followed by Brooke, AK, Jacqui and David, eliminating Moana, Shonee and Sharn. AK and Brooke whipped through the second phase, getting to the bucket phase while David desperately tried to close the gap. Out of nowhere, Tarzan was the first to land his ball in the bucket, giving him a huge head start on the puzzle. He was soon joined by David and Brooke, eliminating AK and Jacqui. Oh and then David destroyed the puzzle, begging the question, did we know David was a puzzle king?
Back at camp David’s ego was at an all time high, proudly showing off his four immunities, only one of which was a fake. He quickly confirmed that he and his allies would all be blindsiding Jacqui, again missing the meaning of a blindside, given Jacqui is fully aware that she is on the bottom. Sharn pulled Jacqui aside to try and woo her back to the side, with David and Moana quickly joining as the group decided to target Shonee. Sadly for Jacqui however, they were just trying to get her to throw a vote on Shonee so that their four votes would be enough to get rid of Jacqui. Speaking of Jacqui, she went back to the Vakama trio and the four locked in their votes for Moana. Oh and then Jacqui disappeared and the group agreed that no matter what, they are sticking together and if it results in a tie, they will just have to go to rocks. In either a horrible or brilliant move, AK then decided to pull Sharn aside and tell her that the group is completely down to go for rocks, putting the fear in her head. And oh God, this may be brilliant, as Sharn is well and truly susceptible to being panicked into changing a plan.
At tribal council David spoke about feeling salty about the Zach vote, explaining that that is why he chose to leave Jacqui out of the reward. Jacqui pretended that she was over their drama, which led to AK, Brooke and Shonee jumping in one at a time to call out how terrible David’s decision was and that Jacqui is the only one tired of being a minion. Jacqui agreed that she wanted to find her voice in the game which led to Shonee pointing out that nobody in the rival alliance actually wants to take her to the end. Moana called bullshit on the comment, assuring Jacqui that she protects her and one emotional decision doesn’t change where she sits in the alliance. Tarzan wisely pointed out that if Jacqui jumps from one alliance to another, she goes from being on the bottom to being on the bottom.
Each side continued to push for Jacqui’s vote before talk turned to going to rocks, with AK, Shonee and Brooke all vowing to go to rocks, as at least it gives them a chance to take control. Sharn on the flipside was nervous and started to completely unravel, telling people to think things through before playing it fast and loose with their game. With that the tribe voted, David did some weird voicework and played an idol on Tarzan before the votes rolled in four each for Jacqui and Moana, proving to Jacqui that she was right to flip on her allies. Once again the tribe voted and once again, it came back a tie.
And hot damn, did that fill Sharn with dread. She quickly started to panic as Jonathan explained the rock draw rules – to the audience that don’t want original flavour Survivor – with the tribe given the chance to come to a consensus, and if they don’t, the players in the tie become immune with anyone else that is immune, and the rest go to rocks. Aka AK, Brooke, Shonee and Sharn. AK quickly rallied the girls and reminded them that the only way to guarantee a majority, with them all agreeing to go to rocks. This led to a desperate Sharn begging them to change their mind, assuring them that if they flip on Jacqui, she promises to align with them. She begged and pleaded with them for what felt like an eternity until Jonathan told them they needed to make a decision, with them ultimately choosing to trust Sharn and turn on Jacqui, sending her from the game.
It was heartbreaking to be reunited with Jacs at the Jury Villa, given she has spent the last few episodes being the only hope of stopping a steamroll. After peeling myself away from Locky, I pulled Jacs into my arms and told her how proud I am of the game she played and that while she is a juror, she landed there for trying something and that alone is something she should be proud of. Oh and then I whipped her up a Smoke Shacqui Patterson which honestly was her favourite part.
I’ve said it thousands of times but it bears repeating, burgers are the absolute best and well, Shack Shake is one of the ultimate makers. And well, the Smoke Shack is my fave – smoky, spicy and a little bit sweet, it is a dream. Like the one Jacqui is living out surrounded by three guys on the jury.
Enjoy!
Smoke Shacqui Patterson Serves: 4.
Ingredients ½ cup mayonnaise 1 tbsp dijon mustard ¾ tsp ketchup ½ tsp pickle brine pinch of cayenne pepper 500g beef mince 8 slices smoked bacon ¼ tsp salt ¼ tsp pepper 4 slices American cheese ⅓ cup cherry peppers, finely diced 4 potato buns
Method Start by combining the mayonnaise, dijon mustard, ketchup, pickle brine and the pinch of cayenne pepper in a bowl. Give a good stir, cover and chill while you prep the rest of the burgers. Ideally an hour or two if you have the time.
Meanwhile, scrunch the beef mince in a large bowl until the meat is starting to come together. Divide into four balls and roll tightly. Place on a lined plate, cover and pop in the fridge.
While the balls are cooling down, heat a large skillet of medium heat and once nice and hot, cook the bacon until crisp. Remove to a plate lined with paper towel and leave to reat.
Immediately take the burgers out of the fridge, place in the skillet and flatten to about one to two centimetre thickness with a metal spatula and sprinkle with a bit of salt and pepper. Cook for a couple of minutes before flipping, seasoning with the remaining salt and pepper and topping each with a slice of cheese. Cook for a further couple of minutes before removing from the heat.
To assemble, toast each of the burger buns in a skillet and smear the top and bottom with a little bit of the chilled sauce. Place the cheesy pattie on the base-bun, followed by some of the cherry peppers and closing.
Previously on Survivor the wealth was spread a little bit on the Edge, as they were all offered a fire token for free if they could transport twenty logs from the top of the mountain to camp. Which they did, but not before breaking down emotionally and physically. Parv and Rob continued to grow closer on Sele, and hilariously caused a little chaos for Adam, telling Jeremy and Michele he was out to get them. Thankfully for Parv though, it wasn’t necessary, as Sele finally won another challenge thanks to Nick choking. Over at Dakal, Tyson tried to use Nick bombing the challenge to rally the tribe against him. Sadly though, Sandra couldn’t move past the fact he targeted her, so the rest of the tribe went with the easy vote and sent Tyson to the Edge.
We started things out by checking in on Dakal, where Queen Sandra was holding court and congratulating her underlings on making it a third of the way through. Nick was thrilled to have survived the last tribal and to see his hero Tyson booted instead, given he was causing disharmony. Well he was thrilled about it until he discovered that Tyson had bequeathed his fire token to him and as such, he worried he may have gotten rid of a potential ally. Which is some 4D chess from Tyson, TBH. Speaking of new bonds, Yul and Sarah were hanging out with the former sharing that he is shocked – and thrilled – to find that he likes them all on a personal level. He then shared that the only person he stayed in contact with from his season is the iconic Jonathan Penner. This then led to the heartbreaking reveal that Jonathan’s wife Stacey has been diagnosed with ALS, which has progressed rapidly and left them verging on ruin.
Yul then broke down in tears and oh my God, I couldn’t love him more. Plus, Sarah offering him a hug is the best she has been since the Varner–Zeke scandal.
Before I even had a chance to wipe away my tears Jeffrey joined the tribes on the marooning island to announce the tribe swap. Much to Rob’s chagrin, since it led to his first loss in Marquesas. As everyone revealed their new buffs, Rob found himself starting over again on the new Yara tribe, with Ben, Adam, Sarah and Sophie. Much to Adam’s fear, given his fellow former Sele peeps don’t get along. They were facing off against Dakal, featuring Mum and Dad, Kim, Denise and Jeremy – ripe for Advantageddon 2.0 – and Sele, home to Nick, his crush Parvati, Yul and exes Michele and Wendell.
We returned to Dakal where Jeremy and Denise were shocked by how great their new shelter was, thrilled to be moving on up in the world. Jeremy was also thrilled to discover that Kim was on the outs on her former tribe and as such, his minority position may be no more, given she seems down to flip on Tony and Sandra ASAP. Which is a sentiment she echoed to Denise. Meanwhile Tony and Sandra were talking about the importance of sticking together as two of the biggest targets, agreeing that Kim is a great target and as such, they all need to stick together. Because, and to quote Tony, the lions need to work together so the hyenas don’t win. Oh and then to solidify her new, glorious position, Kim caught an eel the size of an anaconda and just like that she is sitting pretty.
Over at Love Island, aka Sele 2.0, Nick was thrilled to be in the majority of his new tribe and most importantly, living with his high school crush. Meanwhile Wendell was not so thrilled, given the fact that the shelter is absolute dog shit and he is pretty much starting over from scratch. And more importantly, he is stuck with someone he dated or hung with, depending on whose story is to be believed. On the same tribe for the first time in 27 seasons, Parvati and Yul reconnected, with the latter telling Parv that she is his wife’s favourite player of all time. Continuing the love for Parv, Nick pulled her aside and admitted to his crush for her. And between that and the tension between Michele and Wendell, she was laughing it up like she, Cirie, Amanda and Natalie had just convinced Erik to give up immunity.
The former couple caught up and honestly, Michele just showed how much of an icon she is – she gave him a wink and asked if it would be awkward for him, leading to him stammering around his response while she giggled away. She then caught up with Parvati and the two trash talked the boys – ‘New season, who dis?’ – before joking about giving the boys something to drool over and going for a swim. And oh God, can they be the final two?!
Meanwhile over at the newly formed Yara tribe, Ben was annoyed to be stuck with Rob and Adam, the two people he trusted least on Sele as they both actively worked to blow up his game. Sarah on the other hand quickly worked to do damage control with Rob, identifying Tyson as the reason Amber was voted out and assuring him that that was why he was voted out the night before. To defend Amber’s honour. The five went wandering around to explore their new island before talk turned to how in the hell Ethan got voted out. The boys then freely gave up the fact that they don’t really get along and as such, Sarah and Sophie got to work seeing who would be willing to work with them. And after quickly learning that all three were open, they were thrilled to discover they could choose who to form that majority with. Which made Sophie nervous, given surely the boys would figure out their best hope is together, no?
With that, the tribe split up to hunt for the new tribe’s idol with Rob sharing how difficult hidden immunity idols were for him to grasp. While he found one on Redemption Island, he had clues and as such, wasn’t confident in his abilities to find one without one. While he was echoing Amber’s struggles in the first episode, Sophie snatched the idol and even survived a joking ‘empty your pockets’ from Ben before she learnt that she too had to give up half to someone by sundown. As such she found Sarah, filled her in and handed over the half, hopeful that it would come back to her like how she returned Kim’s half to her. And just like that, the girls had two advantages and a fractured trio to save them from their shitty hand.
Jiffy Pop returned for the first three-way immunity challenge where the tribes would have to race through a series of obstacles, toss their sacks at a rod to knock off blocks and then use said coloured blocks to solve a puzzle. All three tribes were neck and neck through the first obstacles, however by the second, Yara started to pull away with Sele firmly in second while Dakal struggled to climb a ladder. What a fall from grace for ladder king, Tony! Yara made quick work of the blocks, giving them a huge lead on the puzzle while the other teams played for second. Sele were next to knock off their blocks as they closed the gap with Yara. Eventually Dakal joined the tribes in solving the puzzle, just as Sele secured the first immunity. With that Dakal battled with Yara, until Yara took their puzzle apart to start again, giving Jeremy and Sandra time to secure the other immunity for Dakal.
Back at camp Sophie felt nervous, given she blew the challenge for the tribe. She and Sarah were left alone at camp as the boys went for a walk. This left them time to lock in their vote for one of the boys. Just as the boys were all agreeing not to vote for one another. As they locked in their vote for Sarah, Rob suggested that back at camp, they refuse to go for a walk so that the girls have nobody to scramble with. Aka the buddy system, the most boring gameplay to watch. This drove the girls – and Adam – absolutely mental, stewing with rage as the boys hung out together. Wait, no, everyone sat in miserable silence, with Rob seemingly unaware how annoyed people were by his decree. Eventually Sophie and Sarah went for a walk to the well, just to alleviate their boredom and dream about blindsiding Rob, with only winks and nods from the boys as reassurance.
At tribal council Sophie spoke about the differences between her two seasons, thankful that this time there are so many intermixed relationships that there is always hope. Adam praised how good at the game the tribe are, which Ben agreed with, though kind of playing it down as they all simply know not to piss anyone off. Sarah spoke about how little the boys were interacting with her at camp today, which Sophie agreed with before insinuating that it was a decree from whoever was in charge. She then continued to play the situation perfectly, cussing out Jeff for using the term ‘crack’ as she and Sarah aren’t invaders out to destroy something, but two people looking to start an alliance with like minded individuals. Sarah jumped on board to plead with the boys and you could honestly see the moment Rob started to shit his pants, despite trying to look calm.
He tried to appeal to the boys, agreeing that while the boys aren’t close and have all done something to the other, he reminded them that at the end of the day, numbers matter. Ben agreed that it seemed like things were simple with two easy votes before sharing how lazy their afternoon was. Rob again tried to play down the fact he forced them into not talking, before Sophie owned him and pointed out how Rob is doing the exact thing he did in the season that he won and if they don’t do something about it, he will win again. With that the tribe voted and despite having zero time to strategise, Adam and Ben did indeed flip on Rob, joining the girls to send him from the game.
As Rob ventured out of tribal council I pulled him in for a massive hug before biting my tongue failed me, and I cussed him out for treating other winners like the cast of Redemption Island. Because they are all too good to tolerate that. He agreed it was a rookie mistake, but was grateful to be reunited with Amber on the Edge and bide his time until he can return and dominate. And while I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Natalie is the favourite to return as the wealthiest woman in the game, I instead handed him a bowl of Rob Mariagnocchi and wished him all the best.
While this is a super simple recipe, it proves that simple is often best. The rich butter is taken to the edge of nuttiness, while the smooth sage and sharp parmesan come together to create something so delicious it is almost life affirming.
Enjoy!
Rob Mariagnocchi Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 1 batch of the gnocchi from Gnokylie Evans or 500g pre-made gnocchi ⅓ cup butter 12-18 sage leaves 4 garlic cloves, minced salt and pepper, to taste 1 lemon, zested and juiced ½ cup parmesan, shaved
Method Start by prepping your gnocchi per Kylie’s recipe, or cook it per packet instructions.
When the gnocchi is close to done, melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and once it has melted, cook for a couple of minutes, to lightly brown and bring out the nuttiness. Once it is there, add in the sage and cook for a couple of minutes to crisp, before finally tossing through the garlic for a minute to make it nice and fragrant. Add the gnocchi with a good whack of salt and pepper, and toss to combine.
Remove from heat and add in the lemon zest and a few teaspoons of juice, and stir through the parmesan. Then serve immediately and devour.
Fame Hungry 