Ivanna Drink

Drink, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls took some erotic boudoir photos with the help of the Pit Crew. Obviously the resulting images ranged from smutty and trashy to sexy and camp, so it was a big win in my book. Ru then surprised them by announcing they were all invited to Muriel’s Wedding, and that they’d be making their own outfits to attend. Out of the bedding they just brutalised. The outfits ranged from bad to worse, with Ivory and Rita bombing badly, while Ivanna’s well constructed dress landed her in the bottom three for being unlined and unsteamed. Which seemed harsh, comparatively. Isis meanwhile took out victory as a blushing bride, while Ivory and Rita lined up to lip sync for their lives. Only Ivory fainted and it got delayed. Though I did serve her up a little treat to help perk her back up and give her a fighting chance.

The next day after Ru swatted a fly – I assume the one that came for Flor episode 1 – Rita and Ivory took their places on the stage ready for the briefly delayed execution. And as soon as Murder on the Dancefloor kicked off, it was clear our Kiwi icon had no interest in going home. She was silly, sassy and a little slutty and while she looked like she bruised her coccyx on a split, there was no denying she was winning. So despite my culinary boost, poor Ivory was sent to sashay away. Though got paid for a third episode, like a damn icon.

The rest of the dolls were sitting in the Werk Room waiting to find out who was going home and while most of them felt Ivory wouldn’t be returning, Isis felt her redemption story could just be enough to save her. While Hollywould just wanted her to stick around so they could bond enough for her to give her one of her wigs. Ru then dropped by to confirm most of their suspicions, as Rita sashayed back into the competition. And to celebrate, this week they would be starring in an Ultimate Girls Trip reunion for the Fake Housewives of Down Under, hosted by Rhys. Which immediately filled sweet Rita with dread, given she is not an actress.

Thankfully though, she got to be a team captain – alongside Isis, as the winner of the previous challenge – so could surround herself with strong queens. Isis wisely selected Gabriella first, followed by Hollywould and Ivanna, while Rita went with Bumpa, Flor – against her wishes – and was left with Ashley. Though bless, Ashley was looking forward to proving them all wrong since nobody chose her.

After Ru departed, the groups split up to work through their outlines with Team Isis feeling super confident. Particularly Gabriella, who desperately wanted the role of Shazza but when Isis asked for it instead, she pointed out that she would slay any role and as such, she was happy to just take whatever was leftover. And oh god, she is going to slay, isn’t she? Even with the character with minimal screen time. The dolls turned their attention to the other team with everyone agreeing Flor struggles to pick up on jokes and as such, improv could be a problem for her. But TBH, I am confident she is going to be one of the stars of the team. And by one of, she will shine with Bumpa. While Rita wanted the housewife recently released from prison, given it reminds her of her family, she ultimately let it go to Bumpa and took the anchor piece. Which furthers my theory Bumpa will be unstoppable.

Team Isis were first up to set with Rhys, with Gabriella a star from start to finish, while Hollywould was bland and Ivanna was forgettable. Isis was kinda solid though? In Team Rita, Flor and Bumpa were completely demented from start to finish while Ashley took chewing up the scenery literally, chewing gum and not much else. And well, Rita’s fears were sadly realised as she bombed. Bad. Though to be fair, you’d probably describe both of the scenes that way. Producers, call me if you want an interesting acting challenge next year, ok? I mean, Gaybours is right there.

Elimination Day arrived with Gabriella admitting she is feeling rather confident about taking out the win, while Rita was pretty much at peace with lip syncing. Flor felt she well and truly did enough to be safe, while Bumpa was worried she didn’t do enough. Ivanna meanwhile split the difference, completely sure she did enough to be safe, while her sisters viewed her performance as bottom worthy. The dolls split up to beat their villainous mugs, cackling through it and just being all around delights, TBH.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys – thankfully still full of jokes – were joined on the panel by Adam Lambert as Rita kicked off the Bad Girls Gone Bad Runway looking perfect as a slutty, female Riff Raff. Bumpa served ancient queen of the damned, Flor was glorious as Ezma – iconic – Ashley gave glamour Catwoman, Ivanna gave a more basic Catwoman, Isis gave Gaga in AHS Hotel and well, it was perfection. Hollywould gave the upcycled version of Bumpa’s look and Gabriella was a stunning Harley Quinn, complete with roller skating.

Ashley and Hollywould were sent to safety before Rita was read for just being safe in the challenge, despite everyone agreeing both of her looks were stunning. Bumpa meanwhile was beloved for giving a demented yet grounded performance, Flor was praised for being absolutely bonkers, despite it annoying the shit out of Michelle. Oh and then Ru mistook her saying her villain was Ezma as It’s Mine, which had her cackling. So yeah, she is definitely safe. Ivanna meanwhile was read for being safe and forgettable in the challenge, while they loved her look but wished she gave some wig. Isis was loved for all that she did, while Gabriella was ditto ten fold, given she was the clear breakout of the episode.

Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, while Hollywould was pressed given she was sure she was a top in the challenge and the best on the runway. As they speculated who would be lip syncing, the tops and bottoms rejoined them with Gabriella thrilled for her as-yet-unannounced-win, while everyone was shocked about Bumpa being in the top. Even Bumpa. Ashley was obviously pressed about it and confronted her, while Bumpa gave zero fucks, given they are both safe and just doesn’t care. Ivanna meanwhile was in her head, disappointed that she appears to be choking every time she is in front of the red light.

Ultimately Gabriella did take out the win before Bumpa, Flor and Isis were sent to safety, leaving Ivanna and Rita to battle for the final slot. And as soon as Glambert’s version of Holding Out for a Hero started, it was clear the dolls were down for a fight. Ivanna was fun and high energy while Rita was in the pocket the entire time, feeling all the emotion and hitting every letter. So despite bookending the episode in the bottom, she lived to fight another day as Ivanna was sent out the door. In eighth place. Just like Anita.

After she got off the phone to Anita, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that like Anita, she left a mark on the competition. She was upbeat and fun, and frankly a little bit robbed in Week 2, which according to my calculations, almost makes her a robbed goddess and if you land in the middle of the pack, that is better than outstaying your welcome. While that was obviously a shitty peptalk, it seemed to do enough of a trick as Ivanna was giddily happy afterwards. Though maybe that had more to do with the round after round of Ivanna Drinks I served up?

Packing a glorious punch of tart raspberry and lime, this cocktail is the perfect refreshing drink for a warm spring afternoon. Or to drown your sorrows after having your dreams crushed in a reality competition series.

Enjoy!

Ivanna Drink
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
lime wedges and sea salt flakes, for rim
¾ cup frozen pitted cherries
½ cup bourbon
⅓ cup fresh lime juice
2 tbsp simple syrup
soda water, to top up

Method
Rub a lime wedge around the rim of two old fashioned glasses and dip with sea salt.

Pop the cherries, bourbon, lime juice and syrup in a blender, and blitz on high until cherries are completely blended and you’ve got a deep red drink.

Ice the glass, pour over the cocktail and top with a dash of soda water. Then down.

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Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza

Main, Pizza, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under ten new queens tied their kangaroos down and moved on into our teeny, tiny Werk Room. Forgoing any form of opening photoshoot – which sucks, TBH – the dolls put on an epic Mardi Gras welcome performance. To a megamix of Ru’s hits, no less. Ivory was confident with her uplifting lyrics, until Hollywould and Flor cautioned her to focus more on selling herself. They were then followed by sweet Gabriella, and while the advice was 100% correct, it was enough to make her spiral. Coincidentally, the trio that gave her the advice made up the tops – leading to a well deserved Hollywould – while at the other end of the pack, Amyl too got stuck in her head. With it tragically sending Amyl out of the competition as the Jojo Zaho of the season.

Backstage while Ivory was completely gagged by the fact she won the lip sync, she was glad to be able to prove to both herself and her sisters that she can perform. She congratulated Hollywould on taking out the win before Ashley jumped in and immediately turned the attention to herself, gagged by the fact she was in the bottom but glad her ill fitting outfit was so beloved that it saved her. Rita hilariously jumped in herself, reading it as fugly, which upset Ashley.

The next day things were far less tense, with Ivory vowing to be as loud and gay as possible and show the judges confidence. Aka the thing she lacked in the performance. Flor asked her if she and Hollywould actually got into her head, with Ivory doubling down admitting they did. But before a fight could break out, Ru dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a sexy selfie boudoir mini challenge. Bumpa Love was up first and well, I love her thunderdome, slutty vibes. Ashley Madison was a mess, but rocked the staging, Flor gave slutty Dora the Explorer like an icon, Gabriella was demented and stunning, Hollywould was just sexy, Isis gave awkward old dominatrix, Ivory was a trainwreck in the best way possible, Ivanna Eiffel Towered her way into my heart and Rita gave shitting the bed. Literally.

After Gabrielle was handed victory – justice for Flor – Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be attending Muriel’s Wedding. And they’d need to design their outfits using the bedding on set for their pictorials. It descended into chaos as everyone snatched whatever they could, while Gabriella just flicked through and thought it was all shit.

As they split up to look through their hauls, Ivanna was confident to not fall prey to Anita’s sewing curse and survive a design challenge. Isis meanwhile was vibing, given she is a very good sewer, Bumpa felt she could safely be middle of the pack, Rita was wanting to stand out while Ivory was ready to have her moment. While Gabriella, ugh I hate it, was spiralling. Though her idea to call her dress Muriel so it could be deliberately terrible and save herself was an iconic idea. Ivanna and Isis were busy working away which started to make Flor nervous, given she has no skills in the area. But unlike her sisters, she knew that she needed to stay confident.

Ru dropped by with Raven to kiki with the dolls, with Isis confidently speaking about her history in bridal design. Which Raven pointed out put a target on her back. Ivory was selling confidence, despite being unable to sew with her gorgeous red fabric. Bumpa Love had Ru in stitches as she sold drunk aunt energy, Ashley threw shade as she shared she was using the exact same fabric as Ivory. But with sewing skills. Obviously Ru and Raven lived for the drama, which didn’t really kick off until they left, as Ivory read Ashley as a tasteless bitch.And like their sisters, I love it. Flor meanwhile was spiralling over the outfit, leading to Isis stepping in to help her. Followed by helping Ivory and then all her sisters, begging the question, is she going to be able to finish her outfit? Gabriella didn’t want to bother anyone though, however sadly it meant she just quietly spiralled. While Ivanna knew she should line her gown, but was worried about having enough time.

Oh and Hollywould decided she hated her fabric and decided to start again.

Elimination Day arrived with rumours swirling that Isis had made a completely new outfit for Hollywould. Which they both emphatically denied – just some hemming – before Hollywould pointed out that they should hope she doesn’t land in the bottom anyway, given she would murder them in a lip sync. As they split up to finish, Bumpa and Rita meanwhile were frustrated that other queens were getting help when they did everything themselves. Meanwhile Ashley asked if Hollywould felt she could best three people, with her hilariously pointing out Flor as one of them, who was right behind her. Talk turned to their relationships, with Bumpa talking about being married for 10 years – with Gabriella hilariously pointing out you get less for murder, which is such an ockerism – before Isis shared a touching story about how much weddings and marriage equality went to making her feel whole.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by Maria Thattil on the panel before Ivanna served bitchy mother in law realness, in white for emphasis. Rita gave cutesie flower girl as she flashed the judges, Ashley’s jealous sister looked ok but her hair was a mess. Sadly Ivory’s dress was such a mess though, it made Ashley look great. Bumpa Love meanwhile sold the hell out of her horny, mother of the bride realness, Hollywould looked SO good as a glamorous flower girl supermodel – thank you, Isis – Gabriella slayed as a fringed showgirl waitress at the wedding, Isis served a draped, gown – though looked dead, according to Rhys – before Flor closed the runway as she sold the party. And I love it.

Ashley, Gabriella and Flor were sent to safety – with a “thank you so much,” from Gabriella – before Ivanna was praised for her sewing, though read for not lining the dress. Or steaming the garment. And kind of not sharing enough energy. Rita meanwhile was read for not having flowers, though praised for hemming, despite a lack of shape to the gown. While the judges loved Ivory’s presentation, they read her outfit for absolute filth. Specifically the wonky tits and pregnant vibe. Bumpa meanwhile received universal praise for the details and the energy, while Hollywould’s outfit was beloved, thanks to Isis, though so was her energy. Isis meanwhile received wall to wall praise for the look, though Michelle cautioned her to tone down the eye makeup.

Oh and then Rhys offered some important advice, “Why talk about anal beads? Use them!”

Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, though shocked to be there alongside Flor and Gabriella. The tops and bottoms joined them, with everyone agreeing Isis is taking out the victory, while Gabriella agreed with Ashley, shocked that she was safe. Hollywould admitted she is in the top, while Ivanna started to break down, disappointed to be in the bottom and potentially going home on a sewing challenge. Just like Anita. Rita too was in her feelings, while Ivory tried to cheer them up. Ashley asked if that meant she thinks she is safe, with Ivory talking about how she got opposite critiques to last week. Admitting that she is mainly annoyed that she is in the bottom when people literally had their garments made for them.

Ultimately the doll’s suspicion was correct as Isis jagged her first victory, before Bumpa and Hollywould were sent to safety. At the other end of the pack, Ivanna – thankfully – narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Rita to face off against Ivory. Well, eventually, as Ivory fainted and had to go outside to recover, leaving poor Rita to sit there on stage wondering what the hell was going on, with sweet Gabriella ra-ing her up from the back of the stage. As a wonky Ivory returned to the stage, Ru decided enough was enough and told them that NOBODY would actually be lip syncing tonight. Instead, due to the medical episode, the dolls would have a night to rest before lip syncing at the top of the next episode.

Given the extraordinary circumstances, I decided to bring forward Ivory’s culinary comfort. As she wobbled off stage, I quickly took her under her wing, and while she continued her sassiness, pointing out she is still in the competition, I figured that given she almost went over the edge of the stage, she should be happy. Plus, in her two, soon to be three, episodes, she already proved to be an icon and as such, that is worthy of a celebration. Whether she lives – poor choice of words – to fight another day, or exits as the second boot. And conveniently, Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza is perfect for either situation.

The hot and fiery salami – think week two Ivory – pairs perfectly with the light, creaminess of the burrata – week on Ivory – to give you a nearly perfect pizza. Even if it means she will likely go out next, on account of the pizza curse.

Enjoy!

Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup passata
2 tbsp italian herbs
¾ cup mozzarella, grated
20 slices diavola salami
1 tsp dried chilli flakes
1 ball burrata, torn

Method
Prep the base as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 200°C.

Roll out the dough and spread with passata, then scatter with mozzarella, salami and chilli flakes. Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden and bubbling.

Remove from the oven and top with burrata. Before devouring, like an icon.

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Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo

Main, Pasta, Poultry, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the producers once again proved that what we lack in budget in the land(s) down under, we make up for in sheer camp and fun. I mean, where else do you hear so many ockerisms and smut from the judges alone. One by one the dolls were felled and once again, Team Kiwi came out on top as CUM! and chippies combined to hand a very well deserved victory to Spankie mother tuckin’ Jackzon as she succeeded the host of her first televised drag competition victory, Kita Mean.

Never forget Kita spreading rumours she was the first boot. What an icon.

But that was then and this is now, as first up to enter our tight little Werk Room this year was Hollywould Star and I love her confidence, despite only being on the scene for a year. Plus her red dress was cute. Ashley Madison dropped by looking perfect in pastel, despite her lack of arse and controversial nature down in Melbourne. Pronounced Mal-bourne, if you’re a local FYI. While Ashley has the reputation as the local bitch, she heard that’s what the dolls in Sydney think of Hollywould, so hopes to see if she is. Or you know, is trying to Alexis Michelle her way out of the villain role and push it on to Hollywould. The first potential winner – aka Kiwi – is Flor, who was living her best life serving all glamour, until a fly flew into her eye, because this, of course, happens in down under. Ivory Glaze arrived serving sleeping beauty on arrival and nerd in confessional, so you know I will ship. Even though winner may get her fired by Ashley, her number one booker.

But well, Ashley couldn’t keep her pants up, so maybe her approval doesn’t really matter.

Feeling the vibe, Amyl was an absolute mess forgetting her name, age and entrance line, so if she doesn’t win, I am absolutely going to lose it. Plus, her entry line was perfection (“Loosen up assholes, Amyl’s here”). Anita’s husband was up next and well, I look forward to Ivanna Drink and her sweet nature. Isis Avis Loren joined the frey and I love her already, because in drag she is sickening but out, she is an artsy nerd and I love me a transformation. Rita Menu was next in, serving silly charm and ugh, give her the crown. She is like the kid from Hunt for the Wilderpeople grown up and therefore must be protected at all costs. We then met Bumpa Love, who is a fucking icon like Gamble from RHOM and while she was living for herself, the little girls were loving her delusion. And then Gabriella Labucci rounded out the cast, arriving in crotchet, dropping farts and I love her and her flaccid dickhead ways.

Her quote.

Ru dropped by to welcome her newest shielas and list out the prize package before forgoing any mini challenge and announcing for their first maxi challenge, they would be throwing a Madi Gras float performance, featuring their own verses on a mash up Superqueen and Sissy that Walk. And because of the budget, one would assume, they would have to arrange their own choreo.

With that, the dolls split up to untuck and kiki, with Flor and Isis speculating who would prove to be their biggest competition. While they felt Rita is likely to be the first one heading out the door, given she hasn’t been doing drag for very long. Hollywould and Amyl meanwhile were excited to not be the solo women of colour, speculating that Flor could be the trade of the season. If she ever took off her mug for them to confirm, that is.

Everyone split up to work through their lyrics, with Ivory confident in her skills as a songwriter. Sadly for her, Flor and Hollywould weren’t feeling her kind, uplifting words, instead cautioning her to mak sure she lets Ru know who she is with her verse. Hollywould meanwhile was focused all on herself, though thankfully sharing her lyrics lit a fire under Ivory. Rita meanwhile was focused on talking food and serving, while Ashley started to get into her head. Gabriella meanwhile opted to walk around and check in with her besties – lucky she gave out those friendship bracelets on arrival – though sadly just made Ivory more nervous.

The dolls pivoted to the mainstage to work through their choreography with nobody willing to stick their necks out so soon. As such, Ivanna bravely stepped up to lead them, however given Amyl isn’t a confident dancer and Ivory doesn’t know what a boxstep is, it could be a problem. She didn’t have to worry for long though, given Flor and Isis weren’t thrilled by the direction of the choreo, so the latter stepped in like traffic control and directed them all around the stage. Which only made things worse for Amyl and Ivory, while sweet Gabriella was just confused. For no specific reason, like an icon.

Backstage Ivory continued to spiral, breaking down in tears as she wondered why she even thought it was a good idea to apply. Thankfully Isis stepped up to give her a peptalk, encouraging her to take this opportunity to shine. Ivory opened up about her difficult relationship with her parents and how she has always felt the need to be perfect. And even when she was, was made to feel like she should be doing even more.

Elimination Day arrived with Amyl feeling very stressed about her debut performance, while Ivory opened up to the rest of the girls about how their feedback on her lyrics got into her head and as such, she spiraled. And while Hollywould was annoyed she couldn’t see it as constructive, the rest of the dolls were far more supportive. As they split up to beat their mugs, Hollywould and Flor kikied about how they were only trying to help and gave Ivory deathies across the room. Thankfully before a fight could break out, Isis asked who had experienced mardi gras which led to a nice chat about the power of pride and how wonderful it is. Despite the lack of safe spaces being equally located around the country, as Ashley Madison further leant into playing the role of the Alexis Michelle of the season.

Gabriella meanwhile was genuinely being a sweet icon, pulling Ivory aside to make sure things were good between them as she was only trying to be helpful about her verse and would hate to have hurt her feelings in the process. While Flor and Hollywould moved on from the deathies, instead joking about Ivory being in the bottom.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Deva Mahal as the dolls turned the show and well, it was good. Real good. Hollywould was absolute fire, Garbeilla was camp and cute, Flor was on point and Isis was perfect because I love her. At the other end of the pack, poor Amyl was very obviously stuck in her head, Ashley’s outfit looked a couple of sizes too big and Ivory couldn’t find the beat or her own lyrics.

On the Somewhere Under the Rainbow runway, Isis served a moody, floral butterfly. Ivanna looked like Weird Barbie rocking shimmering disco dots, Amyl gave a tube of lifesavers, Ashley gave Vivienne Westwood tartan, though still couldn’t get an outfit to fit. Rita meanwhile gave gay flag gyro, Bumpa was stunningly feathered and ugh, I wish we saw more of her this episode as she is fun. I mean, the waving and banter with the judges as she walked was just A+. Garbriella gave another lifesaver gown though made it glamour and won the battle, Ivory Glaze gave LBD covered in unicorn cum – who can beat that description? – while Hollywould Star served glamour Black Panther and yeah, she came to slay. As did Flor, giving bright, architectural bug and well, this is clearly why the dolls were confident backstage.

Isis, Ivanna, Rita and Bumpa were sent to safety before Amyl was read for being completely stuck in her head and unable to loosen up, ironically. Ru encouraged her to just believe in herself and feel like the star that she is. Ashley meanwhile was read for the ill fitting garments, though praised for her confidence. Gabriella meanwhile was lavished in praise for being charming, energetic and fun, despite her performance look being a little basic. Ivory meanwhile was read for struggling in the performance – BADLY – though they rightly lived for her stunning runway, which may just save her. She opened up to Ru about being a business analyst and that she doesn’t really believe in herself, though drag is what makes her feel extraordinary. Hollywould meanwhile received wall to wall praise for the performance and the runway. As did Flor, despite the fact they wanted to see her face.

Thankfully though, she did fully beat under her mask and that reveal absolutely delighted them.

Backstage the safe girls were just thrilled to survive the first week before Amyl arrived and immediately started hunting for an iPod to learn the lip sync. And was heartbroken. Ivory meanwhile was disappointed but ready to lip sync, knowing it was inevitable. Ashley meanwhile was busy sobbing about her fucking nipples landing her in the bottom. While Amyl admitted she would just prefer to lip sync against Ashley because she likes Ivory better, so doesn’t want to send her home. Which, lol.

Ultimately Gabriella and Flor were sent to safety as Hollywould took out the first victory of the season. At the other end of the pack, Amyl tragically didn’t get her wish as Ashley narrowly avoided the lip sync – by a nipple, one could say. As soon as Men at Work’s Down Under kicked off, Ivory and Amyl gave the same choreo and energy, but TBH, what else can you do with that song other than some air percussion and jigging. Actually, maybe they could have done some Kath and Kim Irish dancing? In any event, while it was a bit boring, Ru didn’t go the route of Valentina and keep them both – for reasons still unknown, Mexico – instead, rewarding Ivory for giving a little bit camp and polish, tragically leaving Amyl as the Jojo Zaho of the season.

Despite the disappointment, Amyl was in good spirits backstage as I pulled her in for a massive hug and reiterated that even if she didn’t get the memorable place of first boot, her entry would have already made her a beloved, cult queen. And since she has both, that makes her destined for great things, if you ask me! Back to feeling her iconic oats, we turned our attention to celebrating her brief run, plotting her ru-demption on All Stars and smashing a batch of Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo.

There is nothing I love more than a rich, creamy sauce. Even more so when it is combined with my second favourite meat – chicken, as I’m basic – and pasta. Throw in some woody mushrooms and well, you’ve got the ultimate in comfort food.

Enjoy!

Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g penne
1 tsp olive oil
500g button mushrooms, sliced
500g chicken breast, sliced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
500g thickened cream
115g unsalted Butter
75g parmesan cheese, grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup baby spinach, washed

Method
Cook the penne per packet instructions, because girl, I have no idea where to start making penne from scratch. But that is an aside.

Heat the oil in a pan over medium heat and saute the mushrooms for 5 minutes or so, or until browned and crisp. Add the chicken and cook, stirring, for another 5 minutes before seasoning with a good whack of salt and pepper. Reduce heat to low and stir in the cream, butter, garlic and parmesan, and cook until smooth, before stirring in the spinach. Remove from heat.

Combine the pasta and the sauce, season to taste and then devour, thinking wistfully of what could have been.

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Give me another chippie, damn it girls!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3

Stone the flamin’ crows! Once again Ru is about to begrudgingly say g’day, g’day, g’day – alongside Michelle and Rhys, of course – to ten new queens from Australia and across the ditch, before awarding a delightfully beloved Kiwi the crown. So congratulations Flor, Ivanna Drink or Rita Menu, I guess?

Given Ru is here against her will – presumably just to block Courtney Act taking the host role – she immediately got on the blower and begged me to come join her.

“As my third favourite Aussie after Georges and lil’ baby Jorgeous,” who Ru believes is a time travelling younger version of her husband, thus the obsession, FYI, “I need you to come across to Auckland and make my girls feel welcome. Because squirrel friend, the budget sure doesn’t!”

But what we lack in budget, we make up for in camp, silly fun and let me tell you, the dolls of Season 3 are here to put on a SHOW. I assume because once you’re welcomed to Mama Ru’s room – not to not be confused with Mr. G’s – you’re welcomed to the magical world of drama. And CUM!

Who will come out victorious like Nikki Webster at the 2000 Olympics? And who, tragically, is going to find themselves the first told to fuck off and stick those flowers up your fat ass Margaret? You know the drill, either watch the show or check back here in a week.

Or ideally, both. Despite the fact Stan, TVNZ nor WoW still aren’t paying for this quality coverage.

📷: Stan / TVNZ / WoW.

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White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on All Stars, Ru assembled 12 queens in need of some form of redemption, either for themselves or in the eyes of the fandom. And well, they came to race! Well, except for Jimbo, of course, who was frank about the fact she solely came to cruise. One by one the dolls were eliminated – or quit, we miss you Heidi! – before Kandy booked her place in her second top two alongside the iconic, cruising Canadian import, Jimbo. Friends from the start, the duo were thrilled to have made it to the end together to compete for the crown. Only to be put on pause for a week – as many a housewife has claimed (love you Dorinda!) – as the eliminated queens returned and performed in talent show to enhance their Fame Games vote. Ultimately it was Jaymes and Lala that slayed both the performances and the lip sync, earning Jaymes a vote double while Lala likely won herself the secondary crown after trebling her score.

Backstage the duo were well and truly feeling their oats, Jaymes in particular, given it also acted as her first ever win across her seasons. Being congenial – one of Lala’s other titles – the duo praised their sisters for turning a show before celebrating that it kinda means they are one step closer to $60k. Talk then turned to the actual top two of the season though, with everyone praising them for making it to the end and being stellar representatives of the season and ugh, it has been a long season, but I love seeing the dolls all celebrating each other and their different styles of drag.

The next day the entire cast returned again, where Lala showed off the filthy Spanish that Monica had kindly taught her. Kandy then tried to trick the girls into believing she and Jimbo were actually the ones that picked the top two for the talent show, but could barely get it out without giggling. After Darienne and MKD reiterated how fun Jaymes’ performance was, Naysha jumped in to point out she liked it, but thought others were better. Which left us the shot of Jaymes looking like Ralph Wiggum when Lisa broke his heart. Before she could break Jaymes any further, Ru dropped by to focus the dolls on the final challenge, where Jimbo and Kandy would have to perform original solo numbers on the mainstage. With full choreography, obviously filling Jimbo with dread.

After a tic tac luncheon with Ru and Michelle of course!

Up first was Ru’s favourite Canadian – did I lie? – with Ru and Michelle absolutely gushing over how much they love her. Jimbo opened up about growing up the child of alcoholics before her mother got sober and moved herself and the kids out of the house, and how it shaped her into becoming the silly, happy clown that we love. She spoke about how much winning would mean to her, as it would make her a beacon for weird kids all over the world. Kandy meanwhile admitted she had been super nervous about coming back, but how grateful she is to have come back and grown as much as she did. She admitted she relied on friends to make it through the competition, because she is ready for the crown damn it, and she knows she deserves it. And seeing her breakdown about how much she wants it, I feel bad, because it still feels like this is leading to the (rightful) Jimbo victory.

Meanwhile backstage the eliminated queens were sticking their hand in Ru’s big, pink box and giggled through a quiz before MKD won $1k and gifted some to Monica. This sent off a gold rush as they all pulled cards earning tips and holidays and I live, I guess.

Everyone came together to meet with Miguel Zarate and learn the choreography, so you know Jimbo was already bricking it. Thankfully Kandy was first up, reminding us she has been both in the bottom and won a rusical under Miguel’s guidance, so she hoped to err more towards victory for their latest dalliance. She appeared to be having fun though, giving sex and sass and living her best life. Jimbo meanwhile may not be the best dancer, but you best believe she was focused as hell and had so much heart, that she just may pull it off. I guess proving that grit and determination can take you all the way.

Coronation Day arrived with Kandy and Jimbo hoping to focus on celebrating their runs, rather than putting too much pressure on themselves. Darienne meanwhile jumped in on the love, telling them how excited she was to see them do battle and star. After a brief Sunday Riley commercial – CEO glow is great, so Jimbo was not lying – the dolls started talking about the tic tac luncheon with Kandy excited that Ru said she was her biggest fan. Which obviously made Jimbo nervous, given she didn’t get that feedback. Thankfully though, she focused on sewing a special outfit for the lip sync to give everyone a little surprise. Which I obviously hope is a Shirley Temple ruveal.

The rest of the dolls were busy kiki-ing, with Jaymes talking about not realising how much she wanted to win something, Jessica thrilled to have snatched some coin before Kandy was gagged about the eliminated queens winning money from Ru’s box. Alexis meanwhile tried to get everyone in their feels, with everyone gushing over their sisterhood and it was sweet, sweet filler.

We finally ventured to the mainstage where it was family only as Ru, Michelle, Carson and the hilarious Ross Mathews took their places on the panel. Before one final bit of filler as Ru performed ASMR Lover, sadly with long shorts on the back-up dancers, rather than the booty kind we all love. Eventually it was time for Jimbo to perform her delightfully camp number I Remember Being Born and while Jimbo wasn’t confident during rehearsal, she sold the hell out of it, leaning into all the stupid and fun and I live for every moment of it. Kandy’s Pay Me with Money was just as perfect for our finalist – and had back-up dancers in speedos! She was living her Gaga fantasy and proved to her lingering haters that she is nothing short of a star. We also got an epic gospel interlude with the entire cast and well, it was great so i’ll let this filler stay.

On the Finale Fabulosity runway Monica slayed in a regal, puffy, purple gown with a perfect mug. Naysha followed it up with an architectural blush and blue gown, MKD was a black and white stunning old dame, Darienne shone in a lime and black nude illusion while Jaymes gave dra-MA in an orange showgirl number. And it was PERFECT. Kahanna gave sunflower goddess realness, complete with a mirror cape – stunning – while Lala lived in a red, rosy number. Alexis served classic drama in a red satin gown, while Jessica looked so rich in a pretty, perfect pink gown. When it came to the finalists, Jimbo served as a sexy rocker demon queen – it was good – while Kandy looked stunning in a yellow feathered gown.

The top two took their places on the stage as the judges lavished Jimbo with praise for literally all that she did, including in the final performance as she committed to the story and stole the show. And as always, gave them something that only she could. Jimbo in turn thanked the judges for importing her from Canada by way of the UK, and letting her shine on drag’s biggest stage. They lived for how much Kandy grew between her seasons and for always knowing who she is, and committing. Kandy spoke about how she left it all on the floor for a chance to win the crown, before praising all the dolls for offering hope for the queer community.

Backstage the dolls joined together to toast their missing sister Heidi before Jimbo thanked them for how much they helped her and Kandy get to where they are. We then got an extra 20 minutes of sister on sister love and while it was lovely, let’s not waste any additional time on filler, ok?

The eliminated queens were wheeled out first to learn who would take out the Fame Games, with Lala hilariously earning yet another title. They were quickly wiped off stage as Jimbo and Kandy made their returns looking sparkly and bright, and of course, ready to ruveal. As soon as Do You Wanna Funk? kicked off, both of the dolls came out strong. Jimbo was silly and camp and had titties bouncing all over the stage – front and back – while Kandy was fierce and focused. Sadly though, that could only take her so far, as Jimbo’s massive titties and titty-buns shook her all the way to a very deserving crown, leaving Kandy to join Raven as a dual runner-up (which is impressive).

As the confetti settled, I snuck backstage and as soon as I saw Jimbo’s breastplate turn the corner, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her on a very deserving victory. I mean, from the very first moment she stepped into the Werk Room, it was clear that she had levelled up from her already sickening turn in UK vs the World and it was highly unlikely anyone would catch her. And week after week, she proved they couldn’t. Always on brand, always entertaining and constantly radiating joy, she learnt from her first two runs and applied them into a dominant performance that made sure she was the only possible victor. And that alone is worthy of the recipe of the season, a White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt.

This is one of those cakes that just screams winner. A copycat of the cake Tom Cruise sends to his friends at Christmas – I assume the only reason non-Scientologists answer his calls – it is so decadent and delightful. Just like Jimbo.

Enjoy!

White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
300g unsalted butter at room temperature, plus excess for the pan
3 cups flour, plus excess for the pan
¾ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp baking powder
3 cups raw caster sugar
6 eggs, at room temperature
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp coconut extract
1 cup sour cream
3 ½ cups shredded coconut
1 cup white chocolate, finely chopped
115g cream cheese, at room temperature
2 cups icing sugar
2 tbsp double cream

Method
Preheat the oven 180C, and grease and flour a 10-inch bundt pan. Combine the flour, ½ tsp of the salt and baking powder in a large bowl.

Meanwhile in a stand mixer, cream 240g of the butter and raw caster sugar in a bowl on medium for about 5 minutes, or until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, waiting until the mixture comes back together until it comes together. Next, beat in half the vanilla extract, the coconut extract and sour cream until just combined. Remove from the mixer and fold through the flour mixture, 2 cups of the coconut and the white chocolate. Pour the batter into the bundt, pop it on a baking sheet and into the oven to cook for about 90 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Allow to cool in the pan for 20 minutes, before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.

Toast the remaining coconut in a dry saucepan until golden. Remove from the heat to cool.

Once the victorious cake is nearly completely cool, combine the cream cheese, remaining butter, vanilla extract and salt in a stand mixer and beat on medium for a couple of minutes or until smooth. Reduce to low and add the icing sugar, half a cup at a time, followed by the cream and beat until smooth.

Smooth the icing over the bundt and press with the toasted coconut to cover. Then slice, serve and devour. Because mama, we’re all hungry.

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Mexicandy Dip Muse

Condiment, Dip, Party Food, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on All Stars, way way back at the start of the season, Ru announced that like last year – yas Mama Raja! – there would be a secondary way to win the season. This time, the eliminated queens would be battling it out in the online Fame Games, designed to reward the queen with the best runways. After they were felled one-by-one – Heidi via quitting, making her ineligible – Jessica, Kandy and Jimbo completed makeovers where Kandy slayed and had sole power to decide who she faced off against for the crown. Ultimately choosing not to further anger the fandom against her by taking frontrunner winner to the end, and instead sending the iconic fan-favourite Jessica to the Fame Games. And ideally, guaranteed her the win.

Backstage Jimbo and Kandy were giddy to have landed in the top two, Jimbo in particular, given Kandy kept up their agreement despite her being the bigger threat. After Jimbo did another pointless count since Priyanka had already pulled out all the lipsticks, she admitted that she had truly started to worry about Kandy eliminating her. Kandy meanwhile was thrilled to make it to the top two again, though shocked that they still have an episode left to compete in which is a total gag-a-tondra. Oh and then they had a faux fight for the crown.

The next day the duo were still feeling their oats and trying best to serve us an episode despite it just being the two of them. Well, until Ru dropped by to announce that this week, there won’t actually be a maxi challenge for them to compete in. Instead, the eliminated dolls would be returning starting with Monica, Naysha, MKD – yep, this is happening – Darienne, Jaymes, Kahanna, Lala, Alexis and thankfully, sweet Jessica.

Well, after Ru pretended they’d be picking the winner.

But first, they must read each other for filth. Jessica called out Alexis for crying and Lala for having terrible clothes before Alexis just tried to fuck Lala. She in turn was delightfully brutal, Kahanna was there, Jaymes went in for the kill – I live for her read about, MKD being the only drag story hour children protest – while Darienne and MKD were perfection, Naysha tried her best and Monica was adorable and cute. Kandy then stepped up and completely annihilated, before Jimbo was stunning, stupid and so fun. But there was no way anyone was beating MKD, as she slayed. Oh and the dolls were not there for just a reading challenge. Instead they’d be showing off their skills by starring in The Fame Games Variety Extravaganza. Oh and the top two will serve as hosts and maybe show off a little talent in the process.

Everyone wheeled their suitcases back in and the dolls started to kiki and giggle, while Darienne focused on charming us, the audience. Ru came back to talk to her daughters with Monica, Naysha and MKD thrilled to be back for another chance to take out a win. MKD via rap. Naysha will be dancing while Monica will be lip syncing to her debut single. They traded out with the next three out, with Kahanna cheering to her original song while Darienne will be doing something different, by doing stand up. Oh and Jaymes will be singing and dancing about not having talent. When the last three dropped by, Alexis shared she’d be giving Broadway, Lala will be doing a production to an original song while Jessica will hair flip.

Oh and before departing, Ru announced that the top two in the talent show would be lip syncing for the challenge win, with the victor getting the chance to multiple their Fame Game fan vote via the spin of a wheel. Which is a massive advantage. Or disadvantage, if it rallies people like me behind their favourite and avoid voting for someone else they love. Aka all my votes are going to Jessica, ok?!

After Ru departed the dolls split up to kiki and beat their mugs and damn they were sweet. Alexis is still needy and sweet on Lala, pulling her aside to apologise and surprisingly, not break down in tears. Lala then wandered the crowd and delighted her sisters, while Kandy was glad to not have the pressure of competing. Despite knowing she still needs to do well, given the judges will be watching and there is a crown to fight for next week. Though she looks forward to reading the dolls if they fumble.

Ru, Michelle and the hilarious Ross Mathews were joined on the panel by the icon herself Ego Nwodim as Jimbo and Kandy took to the stage to open the show. As each other and ugh, it was cute and iconic. When it came to the actual performances, first up was Monica Beverly Hillz giving all the energy and was so cute. Naysha got her star moment serving a sultry flamenco number before MKD rapped the house down and Darienne had us all in stitches. And grateful she did something other than a song, standing out in all the right ways. Jaymes was delightful and demented as she showed off her knockers, Kahanna flipped around the stage and absolutely slayed before Lala stole the damn show with a killer song and a wind machine. Alexis’ Broadway number was vampy and cute before Jessica demolished because she is the best and knows how to turn a show, obviously.

The top two then opted to show off their talents, with Jimbo sticking with food, making a sundae to The Final Countdown and like the bologna clown, it was so stupid it was perfection. While Kandy joined the sea of original songs, though let’s be honest it was a bop and you can tell why she made it to the end again.

Kandy and Jimbo were sent backstage to untuck as the judges lavished Monica with praise for showing off her skillz. Naysha was praised for giving such a technical performance with a whole lot of heart. MKD’s performance would have been beloved for no other reason than its message, Darienne was praised for knocking stand-up out of the park, while Jaymes was absolutely beloved for being stupid and making everyone have fun. Kahanna was praised for her mad cheer skills and for doing it with a tuck, Lala rightly got all the flowers for stealing the show while Alexis was praised for singing live and Jessica, rightly, was loved for killing everything but herself on the stage, despite how fast she was whipping her neck around the stage.

Backstage Jimbo and Kandy were thrilled to be able to chill out backstage while their sisters sweated it out on stage. They speculated that Lala would definitely be in top but weren’t sure who would be joining her given Jessica, Naysha and Jaymes were all good. Jimbo tried to get shady, asking whose performance Kandy would want to erase from her mind and never watch ever again. Sadly before we got an answer, the eliminated queens arrived and seeing them all vibe over their positive critiques was just lovely and I’m so happy for all of the dolls.

We then got a supercut off all the runways before Ego dropped by and ugh, I love her too.

Ultimately it was Jaymes who finished in the top two with Lala and while I thought the latter was going to demolish the lip sync, as soon as Gaga and Ariana’s Rain On Me kicked off, it was clear Jaymes wanted those extra votes. Of course Lala gave the full experience, while Jaymes was giving Lala her own experience. It was so fun that both Jaymes and Lala were deemed the winner and as such, both of them jagged a spin of the wheel with Jaymes getting to double her numbers while Lala got lucky and would be tripling hers.

As they celebrated, I snuck up behind Kandy, tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to come with me to toast her run. Which obviously didn’t go down well, given Kandy pointed out she is still in the running and as such, Jimbo could go first. Plus, I don’t have star quality, or something like that. After things escalated and then calmed down, I pointed out that the only fair way to do things – like last season – was on track record and TBH, the winner’s post generally gets less traffic as it is post season. And knowing she would win the number somewhere, gladly joined me backstage to smash a Mexicandy Dip Muse.

Not quite a queso yet not a famed seven layer dip, this mash-up is nearly as flawless of the iconic Miss Muse. Spicy, creamy and packed full of flavour, it has star quality and is perfect for a two time top-two finisher.

Enjoy!

Mexicandy Dip Muse
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ½ cup sour cream
½ cup salsa, store bought not Salsa Struthers, in this instance only
½ cup black beans, lightly mashed
2 tsp dried parsley
1 tsp dried Mexican oregano
1 tsp chilli powder
½ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp kosher salt
½ cup Mexican cheese, shredded
Tortéa Leoni Chips, for dippin’

Method
Pop everything in a bowl – excluding the chips, obviously – and stir to combine.

Then serve and devour, like an icon.

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Jessiclaw Wild

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on All Stars Alexis alluded to an alliance with Kandy as a way to explain why she chose to eliminate Lala, despite her promise to never forget her saving her the week before. Sadly though, it only made Jessica and Jimbo more nervous about the NYC producer. The top four then roasted Carson, with Alexis getting a few laughs, Jessica a complete delight, Kandy going in hard and Jimbo, well, Jimbo’ed. Absolutely perfect as she roasted Carson in pitch-perfect character as Joan Rivers. She then faced off against THE lip sync assassin Silky Nutmeg Ganache and somehow won her first ever lip sync. And promptly sent Alexis home. In full bologna clown character, which makes the win make so much more sense.

Backstage the dolls were feeling their oats, none more so than Jimbo, who was just thrilled to have won a lip sync. Kandy tried to bring her back down to earth, reminding her that she lost three this season alone. After they sat down Jessica looked into Jimbo’s box – exposing balls – before opening the other box, gagging everyone with the fact they all voted against Alexis while she in turn voted for Jessica. Kandy admitted that she knew that Alexis was never pulling her name, admitting that she believed they were aligned, however in Kandy’s mind, they were never aligned because she couldn’t trust her after Lala gate. And while it is hilariously iconic, Jimbo still worried whether she could trust Kandy should she take out the next challenge.

The next day the top three were giddy to have made it so far before Ru dropped by to announce that they still have a couple more challenges to get through if they want the crown. But first, the mini challenge, where they would have to transform their torso into the next JPG fragrance. After getting into quick drag and hot glueing their designs, Jessica slayed her Forbidden Juice and I love that for her. Kandy was stunning as she sold My Muse, while Jimbo – obviously – was hilarious selling Lady Nightshade. Sadly though, it was nothing to compete with the charm of Jessica Wild who took out victory. Ru then announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over three of our lesbian sisters and after Amanda-Faye, Angie and Lisa introduced themselves, they dove into a box to pull their very own lipsticks. With Jimbo and Amanda-Faye pairing up and Angie pulling Kandy, leaving Jessica and Lisa.

After Ru departed the dolls got to know their new sisters, with Angie opening up to Kandy about how nervous she was to go back into playing with femininity. But damn, hearing Kandy talk about her love for her mothers and how she uses drag to love herself and that she hopes to be able to do that for Angie, I am all in on the Kandy train. Kandy then unveiled her ‘50s inspired looks before naming her sister Kookie and well, I love them. Jessica and Lisa meanwhile were busy being adorable, with Lisa happy to do whatever is needed despite being shy. They spoke about how hard it was to grow up being bullied throughout high school and watching them trauma bonding was just so sweet and I would do anything for them. Jimbo and Amanda meanwhile were laughing it up and heaping each other with praise and well, I love it too.

And the fact Jimbo packed her Canada’s Drag Race entry look like a thrifty icon.

Despite having the easiest person to work with, Kandy started to spiral about having to rely on someone else to make it through to the finale. Ru interrupted the spiral to kiki with her and Kookie, with Kandy getting top marks for their concept and Kookie, some tips for walking in heels. Jimbo and Amanda-Faye had Ru laughing as they caught up, before they locked in their slutty concept. While Lisa – aka Kitty Wild – thrilled to finally be able to own her femininity and no longer be triggered by it. And ugh, I love Jessica and her desire to just make Lisa feel confident.

And then Ru announced that in addition to the makeover, the duos would each have to perform a lip sync performance to Ru’s new mash-up single. Jimbo and Amanda-Faye were first up to work through their lip sync and while Jimbo told her to let go of her nerves and have fun. That statement though made her very nervous. Jessica and Lisa meanwhile were on the struggle bus, while Kandy and Kookie were killing, thanks to Kandy acting like a stage mother. And yeah, this feels like it is her episode.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get their newest sisters ready for their mainstage debut. Lisa opened up about how nervous she was to talk to Ru yesterday, while Jessica was thrilled at her confidence growing. And again, I love them. Jimbo meanwhile was assuring her sister that she is glad they’ve gone the fem route rather than clowning, given she just wants her to have a good time. While Kookie broke down over how grateful she was to embrace her femininity and work through her lingering trauma about it. The dolls opened up about how they identify before they discussed who can use the D and F words, with them all agreeing that the most important thing is the intention behind the way they are spoken within community. Oh and then there was an absolute mad panic to finish their mugs.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by the one and only Zooey Deschanel as Jessica and Kitty Wild opened up the runway looking so confident and stunning and serving all the family resemblance. Jimbo and Sissy Delicious were shiny, slutty and camp as hell, having the absolute best time. Kandy and Kookie then served perfection from start to finish. They were stunning, cute and camp and damn, Kandy can PAINT. Jessica was praised for the closeness she and her new sister served and how alike they looked, though the judges wished their shoes looked more alike. Jimbo was praised for how adorable they were, despite the simplicity of the looks. While Kandy received wall to wall praise for the entire concept and delivery and yeah, congratulations Kandy!

But before Ru could make any official announcements, the duos took the stage back-to-back-to-back to serve their lip syncs. And damn they were all so much fun, but again, Kandy and Kookie were far and away the stand outs and ugh, I live for it. Obviously Kandy took out a very well deserved victory, leaving our frontrunner and the people’s queen in the bottom. Oh and Ru explained that no matter what happens in the lip sync, Kandy gets to decide who goes home. Essentially, given it is guaranteed to finish in a tie.

Backstage the top three and their sisters spoke about how exciting it was to take the stage together, heaping each other with praise for all they achieved. And ugh, I just love hearing all this queer on queer love as we truly are stronger together. Jessica led the dolls in congratulating Kandy, with her in turn telling her new sister that she never feared working with her given she was just so open. Jessica and Jimbo meanwhile were disappointed to be in the bottom, though accepted that they really are only there because they are down to three. As Kandy pointed out this is the first time they’d go down to a top two for an episode, Zooey dropped by untuck and damn she is as sweet as she is in Elf and I love it.

After she and the newest queens departed, Kandy and the dolls kikied with Kandy admitting that she could easily be a bitch and eliminate Jimbo, given it would make it easier for her to get the crown. With Jimbo trying to massage Kandy’s feet to live another day. When it came for Jessica’s turn, she instead focused on their latina roots and the fact that she is a veteran that has been working since Kandy was a kid.

With that Jessica and Jimbo voted for each other before Kandy made her decision and ventured to the mainstage before Priyanka was revealed as the final lip sync assassin of the season. And bless, she finally got to meet Ru! And as soon as Destiny’s Child Jumpin’ Jumpin’ kicked off, it was clear that she was not blowing her chance of appearing on All Winners 2 as she split, flipped and all around slayed the show. And while Kandy was hilarious and sexy – I mean, you can see her lisp when lip syncing – it was clear Priyanka won Ru’s heart and rightly scored victory. After Kandy was sent to the back of the stage, Priyanka then promptly pulled both Jimbo and Jessica’s lipsticks from her titties, meaning Kandy had to leg it back to the front of stage before she stayed loyal to her ally and sent the iconic Jessica Wild home.

Ideally to win the Fame Games.

Backstage Jessica timidly tip toed her way to the corner of the Werk Room where I was screaming and throwing shit at the wall. She pulled me in for a hug and reminded me that while it isn’t Taco Tuesday, both she and I will be fine and that she had the best time. After a few hours of talking me through my rage, I admitted that like Katya before her, being a robbed goddess of All Stars is often more lucrative than the actual win and knowing that, I instantly perked back up. And then toasted her success with a Jessiclaw Wild.

While I know that the conventional wisdom is that you don’t make friends with salad, this sweet, vibrant slaw may just be (yet another) exception to the rule. Creamy and rich, tart and flavourful, it is the ultimate accompaniment to a little fried chicken or pulled pork. Which would make wonderful tacos, no?

Enjoy!

Jessiclaw Wild
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp wholegrain mustard
1 tsp celery salt
salt and pepper, to taste
½ head red cabbage, very thinly sliced
2 carrots, julienned
1 red onion, diced
2 sticks celery, thinly sliced
¼ cup flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped
1 tbsp thyme, finely chopped
1 tbsp rosemary, finely chopped

Method
Whisk together the mayonnaise, lemon zest and juice, vinegar, mustard and celery salt in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Fold through the cabbage, carrots, onion, celery and herbs and mix until well combined. Cover and pop in the fridge for a couple of hours to allow to chill and the flavours to come together. Then and only then, does one devour.

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Alexicken Mushelle & Leek

Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars Kandy was still worried about the fallout from Heidi quitting after accusing her of plotting against Jimbo, and how it would come back to bite her should she land in the bottom. To distract her, the top five were tasked with designing looks inspired by five previous All Stars winners and while Lala was not feeling confident, she was hopeful Alexis would remember that she literally saved her the week before should she take out the win. Alexis slayed from start to finish, Jimbo was an icon and Jessica slayed the hot glue, leaving some fit issues to land Kandy and Lala in the bottom. And after Alexis beat Nicky Doll in the lip sync, she promptly forgot Lala saved her and sent her from the competition, rather than Kandy.

Backstage the top four were thrilled to have made it all the way to the end, with Alexis hoping that winning one challenge would be enough to snatch the crown. Again, Jimbo is right there. Alexis turned their attention to the vote, admitting it was the hardest of the season given Lala and Kandy had the same track record, so instead she had to go with her gut. Even though she promised Lala she wouldn’t forget her earlier kindness. The dolls sat down to kiki, thrilled to all finally have a win while Jimbo just wanted to know how it feels to win a lip sync. Jessica meanwhile asked to check if Alexis was wrong to pick Lala and after counting the votes, we learnt that the decision was unanimous, meaning everyone should stop hating on Alexis. Myself included. While Jimbo joked about just not being able to see the lipsticks and as such, she actually meant to vote Kandy out. While Kandy admitted she was just straight up gagged to be saved, which led to Jimbo asking why Alexis told Lala she wouldn’t vote her out. With her denying it before implying she and Kandy formed a late breaking alliance.

Which you know will come back to haunt them should Jessica or Jimbo win the next challenge.

The next day the dolls were still pumped to have made it so far, begging the question, do they know we still have three more episodes after this, or is that just information for us? As they debated starting a talk show, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be celebrating TV icon Carson Kressley. By throwing a little roast, obviously. And as the winner of the previous challenge, Alexis got to decide the order. With that, Ru exited and the dolls split up to work on their sets, with Kandy confident after winning the roast in her OG season. Though realistic to know it also painted a target on her back. Jimbo and Jessica meanwhile were nervous, given they have never done a roast, with the latter particularly worried about being too mean. Alexis on the other hand was triggered by her iconic green number in her original roast, complete with her Tamar Braxton feud.

Talk turned to the dolls approach with everyone agreeing doing a character on top of things is just adding complication. So you know Jimbo was planning to play a character. And by character, Joan Rivers. Her Canadian Snatch Game winning role. Alexis then announced the order of the show, opening it up herself, following with Jessica, Kandy and then closing the show with Jimbo. Which gurl, that is a bad idea because you know she is already going to kill it and going last will just solidify that. Whether Kandy tried to get in her head or not.

Jessica was first up to workshop her set with Michelle and Alec Mapa, and even her sighing had the duo in stitches. While Alec suggested that given she comes across as super sweet, she will be able to go even more brutal. Up next Kandy admitted she is feeling the pressure of having a solid previous roast, but TBH her practice set was awesome and maybe Jimbo does have some competition this week? If she can enunciate and breathe, that is. Alexis meanwhile was trying to forget about her previous attempts at the roast, but given how slow it went she is either heading out the door or this is the fake out edit and she is winning back to back. Wait, no, Jimbo is already perfect – despite Michelle not getting her perfect jokes – so has this in the bag. Despite her actual fake out edit.

Elimination Day arrived and while I have faith in Jimbo, her time with Michelle and Alec had her feeling nervous about making Joan proud. While Alexis was confident that all her set needed were a few little edits and she’d be good to go. Down to earth, Kandy meanwhile was super nervous despite having won a roast, before pointing out Jimbo is acting nervous but she just doesn’t trust it given she is so talented. Katya then ran into the Werk Room to cause chaos and ooze charm before kiki-ing with the dolls. Which was essentially just her trying to find out who wanted to fuck. Alexis then dropped Lala for Kandy, while Katya continued to be an obstruction and I need her back on All Stars yesterday.

“It’s a roast, not a saute” – Katya

Ru, Michelle and Carson took their places on the panel as Alexis opened the show and while she got a few laughs, like the improv, she felt way too stiff and rehearsed. And a bit too saute. Jessica was up next and slayed; a delight from start to finish! Brutal, adorable and oh so stupid, it was, chefs kiss. Kandy too started strong and went oh so hard, and it was so fun to watch. And then, Jimbo. Oh my lord, she was amazing. Stunning, perfect and oh god, crown her now. Brutal, charming and so pitch perfect as Joan, I would watch her read the phonebook. We then got a surprise fifth contestant, Carson’s bestie Thom Filicia’s drag character Jackie Would who was also charming AF.

After de-dragging, Thom joined the panel as Alexis opened the Snow Bunny runway giving glam snow lion and looked stunning. Jessica meanwhile looked like the hottest villain from a children’s ski movie who us gays root for, Kandy gave slutty apres ski in diamonds before Jimbo slayed in a full feathered gown and ugh, it was so, so gorgeous. And expensive. And congratulations on another win. The judges felt like Alexis was a great warm-up act but not up to the same level as the other girls. Though they were thrilled by her growth between seasons by turning such a stunning look. Jessica meanwhile was beloved for giving such a fun roast and for looking beautiful too. Kandy too was praised for her roast, though read for her pacing. Again though, they lived for her runway. Jimbo meanwhile received wall-to-wall praise, particularly for taking a risk and having it pay off perfectly. As did the fact she served far and away the best look. So obviously she took out her fourth win of the season, leaving the rest of the dolls in the bottom.

Backstage Jimbo was giddy to have snatched her fourth win, while Kandy was disappointed to be in the bottom simply because there was no other option. Though obviously fine with Jimbo winning, because it was obviously deserved. Alexis then tried to toast the dolls before Jan dialled in to praise her momager. Jimbo then got a call from her zaddy brother, mother and partner, Kandy’s mum beamed with pride before Jessica’s family called from PR and ugh, the dolls are crying, I’m crying and it is just so damn sweet.

We then did a hard pivot to deliberations with Kandy assuring Jimbo that they are super close and she won’t do anything to jeopardise it. Alexis meanwhile told Jessica that she and Kandy agreed to look out for each other, though felt like she also couldn’t pick her lipstick. Alexis was next with Jimbo, knowing she had the worst critiques, though promised to support Jimbo if she stayed. Jessica meanwhile promised to look after her fellow latina Kandy, particularly since she slayed the challenge. While Kandy reiterated Alexis also has the worst track record. Jessica rounded things out with Jimbo, reminding her how well she has performed and that she doesn’t think she deserves to go. And that Jimbo shouldn’t vote her out because Puerto Rico would hate her.

The Thom Filicia then dropped by and like Kandy, ugh, I love her so damn much.

With that the dolls voted before Jimbo took her place on stage to learn that this week she’d be facing off against the undisputed lip sync assassin of the franchise, the good Doctor Reverend Silky Nutmeg Ganache, most recently of Canada vs the World fame. And before the song even started, Ru was cackling at the return of Jimbo’s bologna clown. Though when Midnight Star’s Freak-A-Zoid kicked off, both the dolls slayed, but seeing Jimbo embrace her stupidity and acting a fool, it was clear she was finally getting her win. Obviously Silky was her usually iconic self, but by the time Jimbo pulled out the bologna, there was no way she was losing. Which is something Silky picked up on, as she joined in the fun and well, it was stunning. Jimbo finally won her first ever lip sync across the franchise, before sending home Alexis. Who obviously served heartache because you know she knows how to produce.

Backstage I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for always doing what needs to be done. Say what you will about Alexis, but she knows how to deliver good TV – we call her the producer for a reason, people! – and I am so grateful for the gaggery she provided yet again. I reminded her that while she may not have won hearts by sending Lala home, over time, people will remember her as nothing more than an icon and as such, she should be proud. Plus, her glow-up was stunning and she improved her placing, so she did get a little bit of redemption. With a side of Alexicken Mushelle & Leek.

Yeah, yeah – the name is clunky, but this comforting meal is so good you’ll quickly forgive me. Packing a punch of truffle and garlic, it is a wonderful winter meal – Southern hemisphere based, FYI – to warm your soul and eat away your disappointment.

Enjoy!

Alexicken Mushelle & Leek
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
8 chicken thighs
1 leek, washed, trimmed and thinly sliced
300g mushrooms, thinly sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
3 thyme sprigs, leaves removed
2 tsp truffle oil
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup cream
1 bunch broccolini, trimmed
1 lemon, zested and juiced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the chicken and cook for five minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 5 minutes. Transfer to a plate and cover with some foil.

In the same pan, now full of juices in addition to the oil, add the leek, mushroom and garlic and cook, stirring for about five minutes, or until soft, glossy and sweet. Stir in the thyme, truffle oil, stock and cream, and bring to the boil. Add the chicken and juices, and reduce heat to low. Cover and leave to simmer for 20 minutes.

Once the sauce has reduced and the chicken glorious, add the broccolini and cover before cooking for a further five minutes. Once that is tender, stir in the lemon zest and juice, and season to taste with the salt and pepper.

Then serve on a bed of rice and devour, like a production icon.

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Turkey Meatballala Curri

Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the top six improv-ed their way through a true crime series to figure out what happened to Poundcake in a missing season of All Stars. Which is the perfectly delightful mix of camp, stupid and meta. When Kandy once again refused to take another character, Alexis got annoyed and started crying. That in turn annoyed Kandy, who stormed out, completely infuriated by her ongoing theatrics. Not wanting to miss out on the action, Kahanna then threatened to quit because she was over acting challenges, so Ru came and cussed out the girls and all was right in the world. Kahanna and Alexis then landed in the bottom and after Lala demolished Baby Jorgeous, she opted to send home her bestie Kahanna. To a gay gasp from Alexis.

Backstage Lala was feeling very rich, bitch, after her first ever victory, before she explained that while it sucked to send home her sister, she knew it was the right decision given she has been in the bottom so often. Alexis thanked her for her mercy, grateful to Lala for not just saving her but doing the very difficult thing of eliminating her friend. Going so far as to vow that her kindness will not be forgotten. After the dolls crowned Lala their queen, Alexis opened up the box to tally the votes and while everyone voted to keep her, seeing Kandy joke that the vote against Alexis came for her rather than Kahanna was a delightful amount of gaggy, silliness.

Oh and then the dolls played Jimbo’s tatas like bongos as Lala vowed to win another challenge.

The next day Jimbo tossed bologna to the dolls and while they were not feeling it – or its smell – I was once again delighted by her stupidity. Before anyone got physical with her, Ru arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would need to design outfits worthy of five All Stars winners – Trinity, Kylie, Shea, Trixie and Monet. And for winning the last challenge, Lala got to give herself a leg up as she assigned the boxes allegedly belonging to the All Stars. She snatched Shea for herself, gave Trinity to Alexis, Kylie to Jessica and Kandy got Monet, which left Jimbo with Trixie and damn, she really is congenial, as all of those make so much sense. Congenial, but not smart, given now she doesn’t have an advantage.

The dolls split up to clear out their boxes, delighted by each and every thing they could find. Well, except for Kandy who in addition to her patent leathers, she also had an epic supply of sponges. Alexis loved Trinity’s colour palette, while Jessica was delighted to have her Season 2 sister’s box, though nervous because Sonique loves to go see-through and she does not. Jimbo clarified whether the dolls felt they should be trying to look like their winner or whether it was simply meant to be their inspiration. And after they all agreed to just pay homage, she got super distracted, procrastinating and annoying her sisters, thieving their supplies and Jimbo gurl, come up with a plan or you’ll be in danger.

Kandy and Lala were kiking about their plans for their dresses with Lala wanting to serve southern drama, though nervous about potentially choking and going out on another design challenge. Alexis managed to get Jimbo to focus, getting her to share that she would be serving avant garde facekini. Alexis meanwhile opened up about being eliminated on the ball in her original season, though was confident that after taking some sewing lessons, she’d be able to go big and slay a big old drag look. Pivoting back to Kandy, though, she was spiralling, intimidated by how strong everyone else is at designing and how she may just be screwed.

Instead of Ru doing a walk through, Shannel and Raven dropped by and ugh, I love them so much. First up was Jessica and watching the dolls praise her for slaying was so delightful. Though I am nervous that Shannel’s advice to try something outside the box will come back to haunt her. Alexis was up next, talking about how supported she felt after nobody voted for her to go home. Oh and she was super confident about turning a lewk. Kandy meanwhile was living her best life kikiing with the dolls, Lala was happy with her concept and happier to vote Jimbo, should it be needed, which obviously delighted the girls. Almost as much as they were delighted to see Jimbo had Trixie’s box, with her just admitting all she cares about is avoiding the bottom, rather than necessarily winning.

After our OG All Stars disappeared, Kandy stripped down to her padding as everyone started giggling, completely delirious from the competition. And the fact the boys love Kandy’s titties. Alexis tried to get them back on track, chatting to Jimbo about her look. Jimbo admitted that Raven and Shannel loved her ideas, but were more focused on the fact that should she land in the bottom, she will go. Which obviously led to Alexis assuring her that if it ever happened, she wouldn’t dare eliminate her. Because of course. As she turned her attention back to her dress, Jessica opened up about how nervous she is about the upcoming challenge.

Talk turned to their original seasons with Lala thrilled by how much the fans loved her, despite her terrible looks. Or because of them, TBH. Kandy then got a little scissor happy, cutting the titties WAY out and you best believe that was all it took to get her spiralling. Jimbo meanwhile was nailing her look, or at the very least, the parts she had made, because you know that procrastination was coming back to bite her. And while she felt like she would save time in the end by not beating her mug, the dolls thought that was a bad idea. Oh and Lala hated her pattern.

Elimination Day arrived with the top five exhausted after pulling an all nighter to get their outfits done. And while Lala pulled together multiple looks just in case, none of them were tried on with padding and as such, she is in danger. I mean, there isn’t even a zipper. Kandy meanwhile was terrified by her look being too simple, but was more grateful that she finished something. Jimbo meanwhile was still rocking the Janome and despite them heading to the mainstage in 30 minutes, she still had about twenty things to do. While Alexis was just hungry for the win with her pageant number, though worried it wouldn’t be what the judges wanted. Talk turned to the vote ahead, with everyone unsure how they would make their decisions with Alexis assuring Lala that she will not forget the fact she saved her. While Kandy was just nervous about people holding a grudge against her for their past dramas.

Ru, Michelle and the hilarious Ross Mathews were joined by Incubus’ Brandon Boyd, for some reason. Kandy was first up on the I’m A Winner Baby! runway and while her dress was simple, it also fit perfectly and she looked stunning. Jimbo’s look was camp, architectural and absolute perfection. Lala was a tangerine dream, serving shimmering, regal glam and ugh, I love it. Alexis served pageant Statue of Liberty in all the right ways and ugh, just give her the win for the week, as she looks good. While Jessica looked fun and flirty, like an extra at a party in Real Housewives of Miami.

The judges praised Kandy for looking beautiful, though read the look for being too simple, as predicted. Jimbo’s look was praised for being polished, gorgeous and completely demented, exceedingly all of their already high expectations. Lala’s colour choice was beloved, though they felt her look had odd fits. Which she explained was because she ran out of fabric. Alexis meanwhile received wall to wall praise with no notes and yeah, this is in the bag. Jessica’s look was also loved, though not as much as Alexis, who was announced as the winner of this week’s challenge. While Kandy and Lala landed in the bottom for no other reason than some awkward fits.

Backstage Alexis was obviously feeling her oats while Jimbo hilariously struggled to prick a straw through her face so she could drink with the dolls. Not wanting to share the spotlight, Alexis spoke about how much the win meant to her given she was eliminated in a top five design challenge in her first season. She then praised Jessica for being so expensive, who in turn praised Jimbo for slaying. They then all praised Kandy and Lala for still looking stunning before they realised they have the same damn track records. That was enough to get Kandy in her feelings, disappointed to have to fight against her sister to survive.

After letting Kandy have a brief moment, Alexis turned it back to her, reminding everyone she promised to repay the favour to Lala for saving her, though that Kandy is also NYC family. She pulled Lala aside to plead her case first, telling her that she just wants her to keep her though Alexis asked what would happen if she did eliminate her. Kandy meanwhile was opening up to Jimbo and Jessica about how she knows how much she and Lala both want it and she is scared that Alexis will save Lala just because she feels obliged. When they swapped out however, she decided to kiss arse. Until Alexis pointed out she left a secret note for Kandy in the first week, asking to form an alliance. And Kandy left her on read like an icon. So obviously she pretended it was a little accident and meant to reply in the affirmative, like duh! While Lala assured her other sisters that the fair thing to do would be to keep her around. Brandon Boyd then dropped by and well, all anyone cared about was her being a zaddy and while he is straight, his love from drag was sweet, so I will look the other way. This time.

With that the dolls voted before Alexis took her place on stage and Nicky Doll was revealed as this week’s lip sync assassin. As soon as These Boots Are Made For Walking kicked off, both the dolls – no pun intended – were feeling their Nancy oats, though it was clear the camp vibe of the song played to all of Alexis’ strengths, which was all it took to snatch the win. As Nicky took her place at the back of the stage, Kandy and Lala joined Alexis on the mainstage before they were gagged to learn that Lala was eliminated BY THE PERSON SHE SAVED LAST WEEK.

As Lala arrived in the Werk Room, I was well and truly lost in my emotions, screaming and wailing with abandon, heartbroken to have lost our sweet, bag-loving icon. Lala being Lala, she pulled me in for a hug and assured me that despite going home without the crown, she is proud of her run and excited for what she achieved. And while I was still pissed, I couldn’t argue with anything she said – I mean, she slayed – so instead, toasted her run with a Turkey Meatballala Curri.

Rich, spicy and creamy, this quick and easy red curry is near perfection. More importantly, the balls are absolutely jam-packed with flavour. And who doesn’t love a big, flavourful ball.

Enjoy!

Turkey Meatballala Curri
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1kg turkey mince
¾ cup thai basil, roughly chopped
2 shallots, sliced
10 garlic cloves, minced
3 tbsp fish sauce
3 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp kosher salt
2 ½ tbsp red curry paste
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 onion, diced
800ml coconut milk, shaken
2 limes, zested and juiced

Method
Start on the balls – which TBH, is just good life advice in general – combine the mince, a quarter cup thai basil, shallots, half the garlic, two tablespoons of the fish sauce and sugar, cornstarch, two teaspoons of salt and half a tablespoon of curry paste in a large bowl. Scrunch with your hands and form into large(ish) meatballs and place on a lined baking sheet.

Pop the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and sweat the onion for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the remaining garlic and cook for a minute before adding the remaining curry paste and cooking for a further minute. Stir through the coconut milk and bring to the boil. Add the meatballs in and stir to coat before reducing to low and covering, simmering for about 20 minutes or until the balls are cooked through.

Once the balls are hot, hot, hot, stir in the lime zest and juice, the remaining fish sauce and sugar and thai basil. Season to taste. Serve immediately, ideally with rice but TBH, you do you, as long as you devour. Regally.

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Turkahannna Mac and Moncheese

Main, Pasta, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars theatre queen Alexis was ready for her hero moment as the dolls were tasked with starring in Joan: The Unauthorised Rusical. Which you just know is going to be as iconic as all things Joan. When it came to the battle for the roles, Kandy put her foot down to snatch the biggest bop which – obviously – covered the no wire hangers years. Jaymes was delightfully demented as mommie dearest, Alexis slayed her country pepsi era, Lala was an icon and Jessica was a star. Oh and Kandy slayed her role, which earnt her the win. While Alexis was only safe, and Lala and Jessica were robbed. Kahanna meanwhile landed in the bottom for getting stuck in her head on the mainstage, while Jaymes’ ill fitting outfit on the runway, somehow, landed her there with her. And after Kandy beat Angeria, she was promptly eliminated. As the robbed queen of the season.

Backstage Kandy was thrilled to take out her first victory – and $30K – while Lala was just living her best life as she felt her Grace Jones oats. After Kandy congratulated herself for looking stunning, the dolls got distracted by Jessica’s perfect, natural teeth before Kahanna counted the votes and gagged the audience when we discovered everyone voted to kick Jaymes out too. They tried to rally around Kahanna and praised her for killing the game, while she admitted that bottoming so often is starting to get to her. Particularly since she hasn’t broken through since the very first week. While Jimbo worried to us that the closer they get to the end, the less likely the dolls are to vote on track record.

The next day Lala was fired up, annoyed to have not won the rusical and ready to snatch victory. No matter the cost, essentially. Ru dropped by before she started anything, announcing that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would star in the hit true crime show, Wha-Ha-Happened to Lil’ Poundcake. Which is, in a word, iconic. After Ru left, the dolls sat down to read through the characters for the little improv moment, which immediately got to Kahanna who was clearly pressed to have another acting challenge. Lala then gave a Kandy moment, refusing to take any other roles and when Alexis stepped aside from her, she tried to negotiate with Kandy for another role, leading to an epic fight before Alexis, once again, stepped back and let Kandy have her other preference, the detective. She then immediately burst into tears, leading to Kandy throwing a tantrum and storming out, refusing to be guilted into giving up the role. As Jimbo and Jessica rubbed Alexis’ back and encouraged her to let it all out. Before they gave each other eyes and laughed as she went outside.

After Alexis came back and things calmed down, Kahanna opted to pull focus and announced that she just can’t face another acting challenge and as such, she is going home. She then wandered around the Werk Room and started packing her stuff, as Jimbo and Jessica looked on in utter confusion, wondering what the hell is going on. While Lala just wanted to have fun. Sensing drama, Ru returned to frame and clearly pissed to be off a break, she cussed them out for getting into their feelings, encouraging them to move on and buck up because they would regret it if they give up their shot in the limelight. Kandy then started to cry and Lala wiped away tears before Kahanna promised to stick around for Ru, and herself, before Ru started giggling over how much Alexis cries and asked them all to just let go and have some fun. Damn it!

With everyone’s heads back in the game, Lala grew more and more excited by the chance to get a star moment and get the win, get the win, get the win. While Kandy cautioned that being in every scene could also hurt her. Kahanna went to Jimbo for a little advice, with her telling her to just find her joy, let go and have fun in the scene. Jessica meanwhile was going into the scene blind and just hoping that being funny will be good enough. Despite having the added challenge of having to translate things on the fly. Alexis approached Kandy to clear the air and oh god it was awkward as she assured Kandy she wants to vibe with her in the challenge and damn, they may have actually moved on.

In the scene Kahanna was surprisingly solid, Jessica was a delight as she listed taco orders and Lala was wild and demented and hot damn, I love her. Kandy was perfect as the bimbo, Jimbo was her usual brand of stupid and Alexis was polished though at the same time, a little rigid and just there. More importantly, when did Ru learn Spanish because this scene was just as long as their rusicals? Though, hey, I’d watch Jimbo read the phonebook, so whatever.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone in a far better mood as they spoke about how much fun they had in the challenge. Jimbo checked in on Kahanna to see if she was feeling better, with Kahanna explaining that she simply felt like she had already peaked and couldn’t make it back to the top. She then thanked Jimbo for turning things around for her, grateful to be able to apply her advice and actually have fun. Kandy and Alexis, meanwhile, spoke about how glad they are to have cleared the air, mainly as they don’t want anyone pissed at them before voting. The dolls spoke about how glad they were for Ru to drop by and cuss them out, given it reminded them to, again, just have fun. They started to get nostalgic about how far they’ve come so far, which obviously also made them nervous about whether they did well enough.

Right on cue, Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Javicia Leslie on the panel as Jessica opened the Miss Fill In The Blank runway serving sexy sausage so obviously, I love everything about it and her successfully avoiding choking. Kahanna was a stunning tired ass showgirl in green and gold, Lala was demented and gorgeous as Miss Bootlegger while Kandy was architectural and frilly as Miss Arrogant. And yeah, it looked good. Alexis was stunning as an iconic kink king aka Miss Manpig and Jimbo, obviously, slayed as Miss Tittsmagee 2003 and I love it.

Jessica’s look received universal praise while they loved her stupidity in the scene even more. Kahanna’s runway was beloved though she was read for starting out slow in the scene, despite getting strong throughout and just having fun. Everything Lala served this week the judges were living for, while Kandy was read for playing herself in the scene. And for not being on title on the runway (despite it clearly referencing her iconic, arrogant Untucked fight). Jimbo too received top marks for giving classic Jimbo, which is kinda just doing something completely off the hook that nobody would expect. Alexis was praised for having a strong character though read for doing absolutely nothing with it. Though her runway was far and away their favourite. Ultimately though, it was Lala that took out her first win of the season, while Kahanna landed in the bottom alongside Alexis.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to find Lil Poundcake was already untucking before they rallied and praised Lala for killing the challenge. She spoke about how much fun she had in the challenge and how effortless it was and ugh, she is just radiating joy and it is delightful. Talk turned to the bottoms with Alexis agreeing she took things too literally, while Kahanna was just thrilled to have done a better job than her first acting challenge. They then reflected on Ru cussing them out, grateful that it happened and fully aware it needed to happen to snap them out of their feelings.

Lala pulled Alexis aside – well, after accidentally ripping off Poundcake’s arms – who immediately spoke about how rattled she is to be in the bottom, though begged Lala to just remember how strongly she has performed thus far. And then reiterated how much she loves Lala and that she can see her winning, and would love to be there to see it in person. Jessica meanwhile thanked Kahanna for pulling it together and staying, given she wished she was able to have done that for Heidi. Oh and she is proud of how she did in the challenge and how happy she is with the performance. Alexis and Kahanna switched out, with Kahanna focusing on how she is just ready to slay another day and while she has been in the bottom four times, she doesn’t feel like she did a bad job – at all – this week. Oh and Alexis opted against crying with the dolls, instead just assuring them she is focused and knows she has more to give.

With that the dolls voted and Lala took her place on the stage as lil’ Poundcake’s lil’ sister – and Ru’s fave – Jorgeous was revealed to be their week’s lip sync assassin. While she well and truly lives up to the title, Lala was not letting her have it, however. As About Damn Time by Lizzo kicked off, it was clear that this was her moment and you best believe she was going to have it, silly, fierce and oh so charming, she hit every letter and it was an absolute joy to watch. While even Jorgeous looked to just be glad to be there alongside her. Obviously Lala took out victory before the bottoms arrived on stage and she chose mercy, saving Alexis and putting Kahanna out of her misery and sending her to the house.

Thankfully Ru’s visit earlier in the episode turned Kahanna’s mood around, so when I found her, she was more focused on how well she has done this season, rather than her string of bottoming. Still, I pulled her in for a hug and told her how happy I was for her to get the chance to return and prove to everyone she is a sickening queen (and remind everyone that just because a queen is eliminated early, doesn’t mean they are any less talented). Which was sealed with a big fat bowl of gorgeous – not Jorgeous – Turkahannna Mac and Moncheese.

This tweaked version of one of Antoni Porowski’s best recipes is near perfection. The cheese blend is stunning; punchy, sweet and rich, the seasoning is on point and well, of course I’d say the inclusion of a little garlic just adds even more depth. Run to the kitchen and make this, ASAP.

Enjoy!

Turkahannna Mac and Moncheese
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
500g turkey mince
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
500g macaroni
90g unsalted butter
65g plain flour
½ tsp cayenne pepper
a pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
925ml milk
150g vintage cheddar, grated
150g fontina, grated
150g gruyere, garted
125ml double cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and bring a large pot of very salty water to the boil.

Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for about five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and cook for a further minute before adding the turkey and ¾ teaspoon of salt. Cook, breaking up the meat with a wooden spoon, for about 5 minutes. Stir in ¼ teaspoon of pepper and parsley. Stir and remove from the heat.

The water should be boiling by now, so cook the macaroni for a couple of minutes less than the instructions, drain and set aside.

To make the sauce, melt the butter in a large saucepan over low heat. Once foamy, add the flour and cook, whisking, for about five minutes. Add the cayenne, nutmeg, ¼ tsp salt and a good whack of pepper – or ⅛ teaspoon, if your measure goes that small. Remove the pan from the heat and slowly whisk in the milk until it is all combined. Return to the heat and cook, stirring, for a few minutes, or until starting to thicken. Combine the cheeses in a bowl and add 200g to the pan and cook until the sauce is smooth. Remove from the heat and stir through the pasta with an extra teaspoon of salt.

To assemble, sprinkle 50g of the cheeses on the base of a large baking dish. Top with half the pasta, followed by the turkey, 100g of cheese, the remaining pasta and the remaining cheese. Then, finally but very importantly, pour over the cream and pop in the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until golden and bubbly.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for 10 minutes before serving and devouring, thankful for expert seasoning.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

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