Morgan McGriddles

Breakfast, Burgers, RuPaul's Drag Race, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the top five were tasked with auditioning for Ru’s new girl group the Kitty Girls … against the five previously eliminated queens. Gasp. Sadly for the eliminees, the top five wiped the floor with them, none more so than DeLa and (apparently) BeBe who lip synced for the chance to eliminate one of their fellow top fivers and bring back Morgan, Thorgy, Milk, Chi Chi or Aja. DeLa won yet again, bringing Morgan back to the competition before pulling off the gag of the century AND ELIMINATING HERSELF FROM THE COMPETITION.

Needless to say the new top five were pretty shook when they returned to the werkroom. Trixie couldn’t believe she opted out Geri style in front of Baby Bunton, no doubt concerned about it triggering some PTSD (Viva Forever, Baby). Morgan wasn’t sure whether she was more shocked about being chosen to return, or the fact DeLa kinda wasted a spot of another alumni who would have fought hard for the crown. While they agreed she hated pulling lipsticks, Kennedy wasn’t down for her quit. Obviously.

Thankfully Trixie put it best, saying that now that their front runner has gone, they’re the pretty girls at prom and their chances of winning just skyrocketed. Well, except for Kennedy and Morgan TBH.

The queens checked in to see how Morgan was going … before BeBe got hella shady and refused to show anyone who she was planning to eliminate or bring back. Shangelarys Targaryen just found her Cersei, and she ain’t happy.

Ru dropped by the werkroom with Queen Nancy Pelosi who is a delightful fucking icon and I love her. After reminding everyone to vote, Ru tasked her with werking before handing the queens their next task – playing Oscar winning roles in a raunchy comedy. Morgan’s welcome back gift was to cast the roles, giving Sharon Frockovich to Trixie, The Queen to BeBe, Actavia to Shangela, The Beige Swan to herself and La La to Kennedy, much to Trixie chagrin, who wanted one of the latter two.

The queens met with Ross who coached them through overacting during filming. Shangela obviously slayed her poo-pie making role, while BeBe assumed she was the queen that inspired The Queen, while Trixie thankfully discovered her role was a true gift hamming it up to Ross’ delight. Kennedy was then too much, and Morgan was mute … and then hissed at everyone.

We flashed forward to elimination day where Trixie discovered she suffers from my problem, being so sarcastic that people assume she is an asshole (RIP the Big and the Milky). Morgan however flagged that sometimes people do think she thinks a little highly of herself. Shangie called out BeBe for being bougie, looking down her nose at other queens. Morgan talked about loving to share the stage with her fellow sisters, poor Kennedy spoke about wanting to be people’s first choice rather than an afterthought.

On the runway, BeBe and Kennedy exchanged looks with BeBe covered in rhinestones and Kennedy bringing full glamazon. Morgan went full Scot, Shangela was horny and Trixie slayed them all, dressed as the sexiest librarian complete with a stack of books on her head to help reading for filth. Ru then gave a screening of their films trailer, where Trixie and Shangela owned the screen while the other three floundered. At best.

BeBe was praised for her runway, though destroyed for her acting. Shangela and Trixie deservedly universal praise, Kennedy was meh and Morgan was praised for her runway before being destroyed for her performance as The Beige Swan.

Trixie and Shangela obviously took out victory, giving them the opportunity to grill the bottom 3 and make them sweat. BeBe felt she did well in the challenge – spoiler, she didn’t – and that her track record should be enough to keep herself safe … before letting slip that she clearly has never watched an episode of Drag Race. I mean, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ORNACIA? Thankfully for her Kennedy pronounces meme, mimi, which was enough to run distraction.

Trixie pulled BeBe aside to find out why she decided to fuck up the challenge with BeBe continuing to play the line that she did well. Again, she didn’t. Shangela caught up with Kennedy, vowing not to eliminate her, I assume because she loaned her a top. They then plotted who should be eliminated out of BeBe and Morgan, wanting to give the latter a chance to shine and knock the former down a peg or two. Morgan and Trixie caught up, with Morgan acknowledging the other girls have proven themselves while she has only had to do three challenges.

While Trixie gave a killer performance to Ru’s Freaky Money – featured on Gay for Play, praise BenDeLaChrist – there was no competing with Shangela’s obese stripper schtick, who slayed the lip sync and sent Morgan out of the competition again. Eerily completing Aja’s prophecy from the first episode, truly making her Mor-gone.

(Seriously what is with Morgans being cut from reality TV shows this week?)

Morgs may not have made it to the final four, but she looked beautiful on the runway and got to show her softer, kinder side in the werk room and after her elimination. And dare I say it, that is the best way to rehab a bitchy image … take note Phi Phi. Once again, her one episode performance – and it is not just because I love her mumma Chad – was more than worthy of some hearty Morgan McGriddles.

Now I know my hotcakes are way too thin … but when something tastes this good, I expect you to look the other way and accept my failings. I mean, the maple chunks still squirt in your mouth while devouring the ultimate breakfast sandwich. What more could you ask for? Don’t answer that.

Enjoy!

Morgan McGriddles
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ cup maple syrup
1 cup flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
½ tsp salt
2 tbsp butter, melted, plus extra for cooking
½ cup milk
5 egg, 1 whole, 4 scrambled
4 pork sausages, skins removed and shaped into patties
4 slices American cheese

Method
Bring the maple syrup to the boil in a saucepan over medium heat, and cook syrup, stirring constantly, for about ten minutes, or until syrupy, caramelly and thick. Pour onto a lined baking sheet and allow to cool completely and harden. Once set, smash it into small shards and set aside.

Meanwhile combine the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt in a bowl, and whisk the butter, milk and the ‘whole’ egg in a jug. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet while stirring. Continue stirring until a smooth batter forms.

Place a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. When scorching, reduce heat to low and melt a teaspoon of butter. Pour a tablespoon or so of batter into the pan, sprinkle with the maple shards and pour in a further tablespoon. Cook until firm around the edges and bubbles hold their shape on the top. Flip and cook for a further minutes or so. Repeat until you’ve got 8 pancakes.

Melt some more butter in the pan and cook the patties for a couple of minutes each side, or until cooked through. Leave to rest. Add, you guessed it, butter and pour the eggs into the pan and cook until it forms a thin omelette. Flip, remove from heat and cut into quarters.

To make the sandwich, place a pancake on a plate, top with cheese, patties and a piece of egg. Top with remaining pancake, and devour. With or without Slash Browns.

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Rossoles Mathews

Main, Party Food, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, Snack

While I am still shook from the gallant sacrifice of BenDeLaChrist, patron saint of drag and a little bit weary from this year’s Oscar Gold celebration The Goldfather, I am committed to honouring the pre-season of Drag Race 10. Given the Oscars is tantamount to gay Christmas, and the fact he just slayed Celebrity Big Brother, I knew that Ross Mathews was the only person worthy of helping me count down.

Well, this week at least.

As you could have assumed since we’re both gay men in the media with a healthy obsession with reality TV, we’re the best of best friends and have been since meeting in 2000. We were both studying communications at the University of La Verne, and while we started off as staunch enemies on the debating circuit eventually became friends.

Like Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts in Stepmom.

It was such a treat to finally have Ross over for a documented visit particularly after being robbed of the crown on Celebrity Big Brother. We laughed, we cried, we wondered how many seasons it would be before Chenbot could justify Celebrity Big Brother All Stars, who our faves are in the cast of season 10 and most importantly, smashed a plate of Rossoles Mathews.

Now at the risk of sounding like the Kerrigans, there is nothing better than a rissole. And while you may think anyone can make a rissole, not everyone can make them as tasty as this. Sticky, rich, spicy and sweet, these are perfect for brightening up your mid-week dinner rotation.

Enjoy!

Rossoles Mathews
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
1 egg
3 garlic cloves, crushed
½ cup breadcrumbs
2 tbsp chives, roughly chopped
2 tbsp basil leaves, roughly chopped
1 tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste
8 rashers streaky bacon
¼ cup barbecue sauce

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C.

Combine the mince, egg, garlic, breadcrumbs, chives, basil, paprika, chilli and a good whack of salt and pepper in a bowl. Shape into 8 equal sized balls and flatten into a long pattie. Wrap each rissole with a rasher of bacon and place on a lined baking sheet, join-side down.

Brush each with some barbecue sauce and place in the oven to cook for fifteen minutes or so, brushing with barbecue sauce again mid-way through, or until dark, sticky and crisp.

Devour immediately, with mash or salad. But you know you don’t make friends with salad, so …

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BenDeLaCreme Caramel

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Ru sent her handmaidens Chad and Alaska in to the werkroom to collect Chad’s girl Morgan, Thorgy, Milk, Chi Chi and Aja to give them a chance to ruturn for their ruvenge against the queens that dogged them. After a brief fake out that the two bitterest bettys weren’t coming back, we were introduced to their gillead monikers, OfbenDeLaCreme, Ofshangela, Ofkennedy, OfbenDeLaCreme & Ofshangela and the most tragic of all, OfbebeZaharaBenet.

While the handmaidens convened on the mainstage, the remaining queens returned to the werkroom to process Aja’s elimination. While BeBe felt bad about sending her home, she rightfully said that Shangela’s track record was better and therefore she couldn’t send her home. As she is wont to do, Kennedy quickly checked in to find out who Trixie would have eliminated if she had won the lip sync – she too felt Shangela had been performing too well to be eliminated, and Shangela counted her stars that her Khaleesi manoeuvres paid dividends.

The discussion then turned to everyone’s track record, which obviously got Kennedy at her most defensive as hers was by far the worst. Trixie then brought up the other factors that would now have to go into their decisions, like her killer post-show career and the fact BeBe already has a crown.

The next day the queens were visited by Ru who shared that this week’s challenge would require them to audition for his new supergroup The Kitty Girls … with ma’ fuckin’ BABY BUNTON on the panel. Before exiting the werkroom, he announced that they would not be the only band performing this week with the five handmaidens forming their own band. The top two of the winning band would then lip sync for the opportunity to select which eliminated girl would come back to the competition … and which of the top five would drop down to sixth place.

Obviously that pissed of Kennedy.

What followed over the next half hour was probably the most drawma mawma on Drag Race since Laganja appeared. Thorgy questioned why Shangela was upset about being told to suck it and called a fucking bitch. When Trixie tried to diffuse the situation and explain notegate, Thorgy then turned on Trixie, Shangela yelled at Thorgy, Thorgy accused Shangela of being shady by eliminating her and like Milk, I was thankful the table were too heavy otherwise there would have been some drag deaths.

Not to be outdone, Morgan questioned why DeLa eliminated her and as she likes to do, went in leading to Ben completely shutting down. Expect for telling her that she felt Morgan performed worst in the first week, despite what she thinks. Aja was living for the drama, but poor Ben’s eyes were getting glassier and glassier as the Morgan called her a hypocrite.

Aja was far less dramatic, questioning why BeBe couldn’t admit that Aja helped make her dress to the judges. BeBe wasn’t standing for this valid question and had some extreme attitude at poor Aja, cutting her off like she did during the deliberations the week before. Thankfully it fired up Aja, who vowed to send BeBe packing if she wins the challenge. Rounding things out Milk questioned what Kennedy’s criteria was for sending him home. To her credit, Kennedy pretty much laid out that it was personal and then explained how hurt she was when Milk jumped in and said she should have gone instead of Thorgy. This then lead to a breakthrough for Milk, realising that she had kinda been as arsehole throughout the competition. Jinx’s delusion, be gone!

Morgan took the lead of the eliminated group, vowing to go for the jugular. Meanwhile the top five went for the cheerocracy approach to group work, selecting their Kitty Girls. Shangela went for Sparkle Kitty, Kennedy opted to become Diva Kitty, BeBe ignored Trixie’s suggestion to honour her advanced age and instead went for, surprise surprise, Jungle Kitty while BenDeLa wanted to channel her feelings into a depressed kitty character. My heart, so broken.

The eliminated queens were first to record their song with coaching from Adam Lambert, dressed impeccably like a Pink impersonator. Speaking of which, Morgan went first and was super boring as Bimbo Kitty despite some killer lyrics, Aja slayed as LilBanje Kitty, Milk also selected rap as Milky Kitty inspired by her failed performance in Oh No She Betta Don’t, though this thirstier performance seemed likely to flood my basement.

The top five met with Adam where BeBe spoke in a combination of French, gibberish, scat and guttural noises.Trixie was up next as her nymphomaniac mathlete kitty, absolutely slaying her math lyrics though upset Glambert and her helpers with her dry attitude. Is Bob’s spirit channeling her and treating him as Lucien? DeLa went with Goth Kitty to channel her emotions after fighting with Morgan, though sadly Adam rode her the entire time and kick out any remaining confidence she had.

The next day the queens started getting ready for their performances and thankfully Shangela encourage DeLa to use the time to clear the air with Morgan. While it felt like Morgan was going to go for round two, she got everything off her chest and apologised for how she behaved. They then made up, DeLa got her groove back and all was right with the world. Particularly after Milk and Kennedy cleared the air, with Milk wondering who else she has offended with her ego over the years.

On the mainstage the eliminated queens sat on a secret and slayed their performance, with Aja and Milk owning the song. Then the top five arrived and completely dominated, none morso than BenDeLaCreme. Again. And BeBe, who had the judges living for her special brand of wild. Ultimately the top five won the challenge, with Baby Bunton living for Trixie’s Baby inspired I.Q. Kitty while Adam was still smarting from her attitude the day before. Kennedy’s Diva Kitty didn’t go far enough, DeLa received universal praise, the judges loved Shangie’s look though felt she was a bit underwhelming in the performance and BeBe received universal praise too, though once again couldn’t admit who helped her during the challenge – #Justice4TheCountess. As such, Ben and BeBe landed in the top two and given the ultimate power, should they take out the lip sync.

Backstage Kennedy was feeling down since she was the worst of a really strong group, while Ben was really confused about what to base her decision on. Trixie’s advice was not to eliminate her, Kennedy once again went with the I’m not ready to go home line during deliberations, DeLa and Shangela had a love fest, BeBe felt Trixie lost her fire, misreading her confidence in her performance as blase and Kennedy and Ben rounded things out, with Ben deciding that she couldn’t possible eliminate her either. Meaning, she is going to try and eliminate BeBe, I guess?

The eliminated queens then got a chance to plead their case, with all of them focusing on having so much more to give. Well except for Chi Chi who, ever the realist, didn’t want to become the Roxxxy Andrews of All Stars 3. And Morgan was the kindest about DeLa and BeBe’s impending decision, saying no matter what, she will walk out of here with her head held high.

Despite BeBe owning the majority of the lip sync, she poorly executed a wig removal which, as Aja said, was not up to the rose petalled standards of the current reigning, Ms. Sasha Velour. That handed BenDeLaCreme yet another victory, and the opportunity to give Morgan another shot to showcase her skills. It then came time for Shangie, Trixie and Kennedy to receive their fate, which was the gag of the century as BenDeLaChrist sacrificed herself so that the rest of the top five could live. She was proud of her performance and already felt like a winner, and didn’t want to take that feeling away from the other queens. Kennedy, Trixie, Shangie and I were crying, Thorgy felt it was shady, Aja was shocked and Ru implemented an immediate ban on whiteout.

Ben was positively on cloud nine when I met her in the werkroom, thrilled that she didn’t have to eliminate more queens and that someone that truly wants and needs the title will have it. Now Thorgy made that seem like she was saying no one had a chance at beating her – but let’s be honest, they didn’t – but that isn’t how she meant it, just that the title wouldn’t make her feel like a winner. Or at least, that is how she sold it to me over some BenDeLaCreme Caramel.

Like DeLa, these desserts are terminally delightful. Sweet, gentle, smooth and delicate, they’re the perfect end to DeLa’s perfect run. To DeLa!

Enjoy!

BenDaLaCreme Caramel
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ½ cup raw caster sugar
⅓ cup water
1 cup milk
¾ cup cream
2 eggs, plus 4 extra yolks
1 tbsp vanilla extract

Method
Preheat oven to 150°C.

Combine 1 cup sugar with the water in a saucepan over high heat and cook, stirring, until dissolved. Bring to the boil and cook for five minutes or so, or until the syrup is a dark amber colour. Pour into the bottom of 6 ramekins, and set aside until set.

While the caramel is setting, combine the milk and cream in a saucepan and bring to the boil over medium heat. Remove from the heat.

Whisk the eggs and yolks in a bowl with ½ cup raw caster sugar and the vanilla. Still whisking, add the milk and cream until thick and glossy. Strain the custard into the ramekins and place them in a large baking dish and fill the dish up with boiling water to 2cm below the top of the ramekins.

Transfer to the oven and bake for half an hour or so, or until set. Remove to a wire rack to cool for a bit before transferring to the fridge to chill for three hours.

Remove from the fridge half an hour before serving. When you’re ready, dip the ramekins into hot water and turn out until a plate. Then devour.

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Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies

Baking, Main, Party Food, Pie, RuPaul's Drag Race, Snack, Street Food

I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t we just farewell Aja on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars? Well yes, the answer is yes, but the gay gods have decided to shine upon us all and we’re rolling straight from All Stars into regular Drag Race season 10.

While the cynic inside me – don’t worry, he is lovely and bought me a cask of wine first – has got me thinking, what sort of tomfoolery is about to go down for them to bury the latest inductee into the hall of fame … I’m going to be hopeful. Hopeful that this is the first step into the next phase of the gay agenda. Which is real, and is dominant.

Anywho, I ummed and ahhed whether I should be counting down to season 20, when the last four episodes of All Stars are kind of serving that purpose. Ultimately, obviously, I decided the newest batch of queens deserve the full Fame Hungry treatment, so gave Carson a call to see if he could drop by to catch-up and gossip.

Obviously I came into contact in the mid-noughties, while working together on the OG Queer Eye. Before you even say it, no I was not cooking the food for Ted like people are for Antoni, ok? Anyway … I was brought in by Bravo to keep costs down, so accompanied Carson on the fashion portion to get us discounts.

While it ended in some jail time for me after I decided five finger was my fave discount, Carson was loyal and has stuck by me ever since. Fun fact: to repay his loyalty, I convinced Ru and Michelle to give him the job on Drag Race.

Anyway, we ignored the two elephants in the room – BeBe should have mentioned Aja helped her make her dress and Ross dominating Celebrity Big BROTHERRRRRRR – and got to work chatting about season 10 and how it will be the best ever. There is so much intel we wanted to share, I quickly had to get to work whipping up some Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies to fill our gobs.

I make no secret of my love of pies and these babies are probably one of my favourites. I mean, meat and cheese shoved inside some pillowy dough? Be still my throbbing … heart.

Enjoy!

Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
2 celery sticks, thinly sliced
1 carrot, peeled and grated
200g bacon, diced, plus extra, fried, to top
3 garlic cloves, minced
600g beef mince
400g diced tomatoes
3 tbsp tomato paste
3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 cup vintage cheddar, grated
2 sheets shortcrust pastry
2 sheets puff pastry
1 egg, lightly whisked
mashed potato, gravy and/or chips, to taste

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Heat a lug of oil in a large pan over medium heat. Sweat the onion for a couple of minutes before adding the celery, carrot, bacon and garlic, and cooking for a further five minutes. for 5 mins or until softened. Add the mince and cook, breaking up with a spoon while cooking until the mince is browned. Add the tomatoes, paste, Worcestershire and muscovado sugar, and bring to the boil. When bubbling, reduce to low and simmer for twenty minutes or so, or until the sauce has reduced. Set aside and allow to cool.

To assemble, start by stirring most of the cheese through the mixture. Cut each sheet of shortcrust pastry in quarters and press into 8 individual pie dishes. Divide the mixture amongst the dishes and smooth the tops. Cut the puff pastry into quarters and press into the top of the pies, crimping the edges to seal. Pierce a hole in the top, brush with the whisked egg and transfer to a baking sheet.

Transfer to the oven and bake for half an hour, or until golden and crisp. Remove and sprinkle with some of the extra bacon and cheese, and cook for a further couple of minutes.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool for five minutes. Then devour – with or without mashed potato and gravy or ships – being careful not to burn the inside of your mouth on the molten hot filling.

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A’ja

RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 9, Side, Snack, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the queens were joined by the ultimate queen Kristin Chenoweth for this season’s Snatch Game. While BenDeLaCreme and Shangie continued their dominance, Trixie’s RuPaul fell flat and Chi Chi introduced Maya Angelou’s little sister Mya to the world. In the werkroom, Shangie and Trixie had some capital-D drama after Shangela found a hate note from Thorgy in Trixie’s station … making it the ultimate gag that Shangie joined Ben in saving Trixie and sending Chi Chi out of the competition.

Back in the werkroom Trixie was in complete shock after Shangela saved her, despite making it sound like she was giving her the axe. After vowing to move forward and get closer, DeLa spoke about her logic behind eliminating people based on their track record. Shangela felt that wasn’t going to be the way it goes down, Kennedy was grumpy about something and Trixie advised they all just keep the mirror messages polite. Looking at you Milk and Thorgy.

Ru dropped by the next day, in full Warhol regalia to announce this week’s challenge – the Warhol Ball! Which means sewing … which means Shangie is hella screwed. Before that, Ru gave the girls a mini-challenge to create a Warhol image in quick drag. While I’d like to say it was close, it wasn’t … as Aja slayed her portrait and the rest of the queens.

The Warhol Ball required the queens to each design a wearable soup can inspired by their charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent. While their second outfit needed to be a Studio 54 inspired disco look. Trixie was feeling super confident about the challenge, given her ability to sew and killer mind for branding. Aja was planning to do a candy soup, while BeBe was inspired by sneezing.

Despite not knowing how to use a sewing machine, DeLa was confident a hot glue gun could hand her another design challenge win. The true gag of the season however was finding out that BeBe was like Shangie and DeLa and couldn’t sew, enlisting the services of Aja to sew the base of her outfit. Proving their friendship was moving forward, Trixie tried to help Shangela work the sewing machine … until they discovered Shangie’s true weakness was her inability to identify stretchy fabrics.

The next day Aja was feeling confident, finally getting some recognition for being stylish. Given she is a millennial, Kennedy was pissed off and didn’t want to hear it. Thankfully her anger was cut short as Shangela polled the room about how the confident girls would eliminate the bottom queens, I assume to check if there was any hope for her. DeLa came up with an equation to try and make it fair with people’s track records, which brought grumpy Kennedy back out as she railed against DeLa’s opinion. Likely because she has the worst track record of the remaining queens.

Trixie owned the soup portion of the ball, with Ben not far behind. For the disco looks, Aja continued her looking flawless. Shangela, well, fell hard, Trixie was perfection, Kennedy looked full disco queen, BeBe looked gorgeous in Aja’s gown and DeLa looked good, but was overshadowed by her amazing voiceover.

During judging, Aja was read for filth – despite having one of the best looks IMO – for not having a soup that reflected her persona and not researching the era, even though it looked ‘70s to me. Shangie’s soup was praised, though her outfit was rightfully torn to shreds. Trixie was rightfully lavished in praise, and thanked for finally waking up ala Pearl. Kennedy’s soup was a shoot, but her look was a boot. BeBe also received universal praise while denying the fact Aja helped at all and poor DeLa was given lukewarm praise for just giving 100% this week. Ultimately Trixie and BeBe took out the challenge, while DeLa was just safe for the first time along with grumpelstiltskin, leaving poor Aja in the bottom with Shangela.

Backstage Trixie was stripping off while kicking off the one on one’s with Aja, who spoke about the fact she was going for high fashion disco. While Trixie agreed that she was one of the most beautiful, the judges hated it and her soup was mis-branded, adding to her confusion. Meanwhile BeBe was debating whether to reward Shangie’s track-record or Aja’s killer growth between seasons. After a brief interlude of Ben and Kennedy talking about the challenge owning the former, in the latter’s grumpy opinion, we were treated to Trixie and Shangie’s one on one where Trixie was feeling Shangie shouldn’t be expecting her to save her, just because of last week though conceded she has knocked it out of the park, week after week and wasn’t sure she should eliminate her for glue a record to her head. On the flipside, BeBe gave Aja a pep talk which sounded like she should have used the time to back her bags if BeBe wins, pushing Aja to tears.

While Trixie completely dominated the lip sync, it was to Diana Ross meaning BeBe had the upper hand. With her parlaying that hand into victory and sending Aja out of the competition, I assume to keep the secret that she helped BeBe make the outfit. Thankfully … she may not be down for long, as Ru’s Kitty Girls Chad and Alaska brought three eliminated queens back to get their revenge.

Was one of them Aja, though? That you’ll have to wait and see … but you can always enjoy some a’jas while you wait.

I had no idea what the hell a’jas were until Ottolenghi, after which I fell deeply in love with these perfect little bread fritters. Then I tinkered with his recipe and made then even better, if I do say so myself.

Enjoy!

A’ja
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
8 bread slices, crusts removed
6 eggs, whisked
1 ½ tsp ground cumin
½ tsp sweet paprika
¼ cup chives, chopped
¼ cup flat-leaf parsley, chopped
2 tbsp tarragon, chopped
100g feta cheese, crumbled
1 tbsp chilli flakes
zest of a lemon
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil, for frying

Method
Soak the bread in water for a couple of minutes before squeezing as much liquid out as possible. Roughly chop the mush and transfer to a bowl. Add the eggs, spices, herbs, feta, chilli, zest and a good whack of salt and pepper, and stir well to combine.

Heat a lug of oil in a skillet and add about half a cup of mixture into the pan and flatten to form a fritter. Cook for a couple of minutes, flip and cook for a further couple of minutes. Remove from the pan and repeat until the batter is done.

Devour immediately, filled with glee.

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Chimichi Chi DeVayne

Condiment, Sauce, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Milk decided to apply the learnings of the memoir slash movie How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, explaining to Kennedy that she rather than Thorgy should have gone home after the Music Herstory performance. Sadly for Milk, this set off a feud with Kennedy who went on to slay the improv challenge and finished up lip syncing – obviously – against BenDeLaCreme, taking out victory and kicking her to the kerb quicker than you could touch the fashion.

The remaining queens returned to the werkroom to discover that Milk followed Thorgy’s footsteps, leaving a shady message on the mirror. The use of the word bogus didn’t sit well with Kennedy, who felt that Milk had consistently been the worst … however spent more time talking about feeling no personal connection to her. Once again, DeLa would have chosen to eliminate Chi Chi who herself agreed had done the worst. This made Trixie exceedingly more nervous, worried that she could be eliminated simply for not talking to someone enough.

The next day, Ru dropped by to announce the challenge we’ve all been waiting for – SNATCH GAME! The queens got to work prepping their looks, with Trixie excited to finally compete in Snatch Game as RuPaul which she was confident would finally give her a win. Chi Chi was doing Maya Angelou, frontrunner DeLa was doing Paul Lynde … and “what’s this?” asked Shangie, putting a halt to finding out the characters and rolling out another feud as she found a note front Thorgy bashing her, hung on Trixie’s walls.

She was eliminated two weeks, and Thorgy is still causing drama. And I love the messy bitch.

Trixie and Shangela went back and forth about the note, Kennedy obviously got herself riled up … and Ru arrived with Milk’s mate Marc Jacobs to distract from the drama and continue finding out the characters. BeBe was doing Grace Jones, Shangie was – emphasis on was – going to play Miss Cleo, before switching to her actual friend Jennifer Lewis instead due to Shangie’s Irish Jamaican accent and Kennedy was playing my dear friend and Queen of Shade, Shadera Parks.

Trixie pulled Shangie aside to try and clear the air ahead of Snatch Game, offering a genuine apology and looking like she is really starting to get in her head which can’t bode well for her Ru. While Shangie accepted the apology, she was concerned that she wouldn’t be able to trust her moving forward.

But let’s halt the drama – it’s SNATCH GAME TIME!

Michelle and Carson were finally getting a chance to participate, as Trixie got off to a strong start, Kennedy quickly proved she wouldn’t be the first queen to win two Snatch Games, though Ben sure looks like she will with the strength of Paul Lynde. Chi Chi – bless – went with Mya Angelou, instead of Maya and couldn’t commit to the character. Shangie and Aja – who was doing Crystal LaBeija – both came to play, BeBe was surprisingly strong – given Grace is wild and BeBe so composed at all times – though kicked off Trixie’s downfall before we were gagged with Kristin Chenoweth joining the panel to slay as herself. BenDeLaCreme and Shangela dominated the entire challenge, pulling out joke after joke while poor Trixie got worse and worse each round. That being said, she still wasn’t as bad as Kennedy and Chi Chi who just never landed a joke or seemed to find their characters, let alone get into them.

The girls returned to the werkroom to prepare for the runway, where Chi Chi wasn’t feeling good about her failure. Nor was Trixie, who was definitely in her own head. Meanwhile our inevitable Snatch Game champs, DeLa and Shangie spoke about their killer performances and overall track records thus far. DeLa felt that she took Trixie’s victory last week – which was probs more Milk’s fault than hers, but anyway – which Shangela was not buying, instead believing she was trying to downplay the fact she has literally taken out every damn challenge this season. Every. Damn. One.

The keens bloomed from Snatch Game to a flower power runway, which all the queens kinda nailed. Though as expected, Shangie – dressed as my girl Bey’s twins announcement – and Ben won the challenge. Aja received universally praise for her runway and Snatch Game performance, as was BeBe. On the flipside, Kennedy and Chi Chi’s performances were read for filth, though Chi Chi arguably looked the best on the runway. Then poor Trixie broke my heart, as she started to cry about freezing during Snatch Game and feeling the pressure of the competition. She then got a pep talk from Kristin ma’ fuckin’ Chenoweth though, so that dulled the fact she landed in the bottom with Cheech and Kennedy.

Backstage Trixie was still hurting, worried that she was letting her fans down due to her fears. Meanwhile Chi Chi told DeLa that she wants her to do the right thing, which I assume, was a plea for a mercy kill, to avoid becoming the second coming of Roxxxy Andrews. Trixie then spoke to Shangie, while the latter tried to figure out whether she was her Jon Snow or her Cersei Lannister. Shangela brought up the note drama, concerned that if the tables were turned Trixie would eliminate her while the others wouldn’t. Kennedy seemed to be sniffing some of Milk’s delusion, believing she didn’t deserve to be in the bottom with the others. I beg to differ, but whatever.

Shangie and DeLa killed the lip sync – to I Kissed a Girl, FYI – with Shangie pulling out liberated librarian realness, while DeLa went from sweet girl next door to agressive sex pest. By the time Shangie was stripping off and DeLa was trying to eat her out while Shangela tossed Altoids at her, there was no splitting them … with Ru rightfully handing them both the win, and the power to eliminate the queen of their choice.

DeLa quickly put Chi Chi out of her misery, as per her request before Shangela sounded more and more like she was going to take out Trixie … before plot-twist, she also elected to eliminate Chi Chi. Chi Chi, bless her heart, was more than ok to be euthanized from the competition, so didn’t even take issue with the fact I barely made her a commiseration snack – Shangie made it sound like Trixie was going, ya’ll – and threw together the leftover Chimichi Chi DeVayne form the Thorgy Choripán.

Though I wouldn’t be offended if someone just offered me up a glass of chimichurri, because it truly is delicious. Hot and spicy, with a hella zing, this is the second best thing to pop on your meat.

Enjoy!

Chimichi Chi DeVayne
Makes: Half a cup.

Ingredients
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
2 tbsp water
3 garlic cloves, minced
3-4 sprigs oregano, roughly chopped
1 tbsp hot smoked paprika
small handful parsley, roughly chopped
2 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Combine everything in a bowl.

Mix.

Slather on meat, or down.

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Milk Duds

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 6, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the remaining queens performed a VH1 Divas live to RuPaul where Shangel(l)a slayed, Kennedy and Thorgy missed the mark and Milk broke down over only being classed as safe. Once again Ben won the challenge, this time with Shangie who skipped her way to victory and ultimately sent Thorgy Thor from the competition. Ugh, gross.

Back in the werkroom the queens were disgusted and/or aroused to see Thorgy’s farewell boner. While Milk came to her fellow clown queen’s defense, Kennedy was well pissed and felt it was inappropriate. Before wigs started flying, the queens sat down to discover that BenDeLa would have also sent Thorgy home. She then danced around her logic, pissing Shangie off for dancing around. Thankfully that discussion kicked off more drama between Shangie and Milk, the latter of which would have sent home Kennedy … needlessly angering a killer lip syncer, which is kind of a stupid move, no?

The next day the queens returned to the werkroom where Ben and ChiChi hugged in a way that misted my basements, before Ru arrived to announce this week’s challenge. The queens would be paired up to improv their way through hit reality show The Bitchleor. Aja and Kennedy were paired up as the needy and party girls, Trixie was cast as the fake bitch with Milk tagging along as a stalker. DeLa got to play a cougar opposite BeBe’s virgin, with Shangie and ChiChi cast as a polyamorous couple.

BeBe was confident in her African Princess character, while DeLa was kind of nervous about the entire thing. Aja planned to channel Farrah Moan, which made Kennedy nervous as she wasn’t sure Aja knew what the word needy meant. My girl Milk was living for her stalker role, as that is how both she and I secured our mans. And well, ChiChi was on a street of struggle and started to go back to her insecure season 8 roots.

Ru and Michelle arrived on set with the bitchelor himself, Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, to meet the queens. BeBe was far funnier than BenDeLa expected, BenDeLa was the creepiest cougar to ever grace the planet, Trixie was perfection, Milk was intense, Aja truly was Farrah, Kennedy brought literally all, of, IT, Shangie was a sexual dominatrix and ChiChi seemed to be missing the point of her character. Or maybe that was her character?

On the two-on-one dates, DeLa continued to dominate by deepthroating bananas and feed Jeffrey like Alicia Silverstone does her kids. BeBe on the flipside, was kind of just there. Milk continued to be super intense, while Trixie was super hilarious … whenever she had a chance to talk, given Milk just wouldn’t stop. Farrah and Kennedy got Jeffrey shirtless – praise – before Kennedy pulled liquor out of her boobs and undies, and Kennedy continued to steal the show while Aja tried desperately to stop herself from laughing. Miss Milk needs to hope she isn’t in the bottom, otherwise Kennedy is going to take her out because she CAN NOT lose. Shangie and Cheech wrapped up the dates with a spa bath where Shangie floated and ChiChi was lucky not to drown.

This week’s runway was inspired by Roxxxy Andrews – no, it wasn’t a waiting for the bus runway … it was a wig reveal runway! ChiChi was feeling out of her depth as she prepared, knowing she bombed the challenge. Trixie was desperate to get her first win and finally have a star moment on the show. Ben, Milk and Shangela started to bring the shade, discussing who deserved to be in the bottom three. Ben thought Aja, ChiChi and BeBe would round out the bottom, while Shangie told them she agreed on two and thought that Aja or Milk would be the third. To Milk, who was still wearing Jinx’s delusion and felt she would win. I love you, but safe maybe, but not the top girl.

On the other side of the room, Kennedy, Chi Chi and Aja were talking about the previous days drama with Kennedy talking about how rude Milk was. Which yeah, ain’t looking good for the Big and Milky.

Kennedy, Trixie and Aja owned the runway, Milk went back to her clown roots, ChiChi was a beautiful Cher, DeLa channeled Michelle and Shangela followed the journey of the ultimate cinema snack, popcorn. Shangela and BeBe ended up being safe before DeLa – once again – received universal praise, Trixie finally got glowing reviews, despite being smothered by Milk. Speaking of whom, got praise for her look despite the cup holding the hair being visible and was torn to shreds for her domineering performance. Aja’s killer look was beloved, before being read for not understanding the character … though she didn’t know the definition of needy, so I will let it slide. Kennedy received far and away the best praise, rightfully so, before ChiChi was praised for her runway performance, despite her horrid performance.

Once again BenDeLa won the challenge, this time with the on-point Kennedy, while Milk, Aja and Chi x 2 landed in the bottom. Backstage Trixie was disappointed to not get a win, though decided to avoid crying about it. Milk on the other hand, was once again in tears to land in the bottom three before Kennedy announced that she would not require one on ones to decide who to eliminate. Ben praised Aja’s performance in the competition thus far, ChiChi was questioning whether she was even an All Star and Milk was heartbroken but felt DeLa would reward her track record, while the other girls spoke about how she ruined Trixie’s shot at getting her first win. She then finished her conversation with Ben by saying the judges wanted her here, which came off a bit threatening.

Both DeLa and Kennedy played the lip sync seriously, though once Kennedy removed her coat to reveal a sequined gown … before yet another wig reveal, there was no question Kennedy was winning the lip sync. And much to only Milk’s shock, that meant my dear friend Milk found herself out of the competition.

While she was heartbroken to have found herself out of the competition, Milk was thrilled to see her best friend waiting in the wings to provide her culinary comfort. And begged me to stay with her as long as needed … thus last year’s masterful date to throw you off the scent of her casting. Given she had soured, I thought it best to steer clear of a Choccy Milk, and instead made her some sweet Milk Duds to dull her post-boot pain.

Super sweet with an awesome mouth feel – aka texture – this is the Milk I know and love. And I’m going to keep drowning myself in delusion and pretend the drama was all a ploy to stay longer, since it work for G-G-Gia in her OG season.

Enjoy!

Milk Duds
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 ½ cup raw caster sugar
pinch of kosher salt
¾ cup double cream
200g milk chocolate

Method
Combine the sugar and salt with half a cup of water in a saucepan over medium heat, whisking until dissolved. Once boiling, stop stirring – well if you can, you know I can’t – reduce heat and simmer until it is a dark honey colour. About five to ten minutes. Add the cream while whisking – be careful, it will spit – and continue cooking until it comes to 130°C on a candy thermometer. Pour into a lined slice dish, cover and allow to set for a couple of hours.

Once set, cut the caramel into candy sized pieces … completely ignoring the shape a milk dud should be. Melt the chocolate in a microwave, dip the caramels in the chocolate and place on a lined baking sheet to set.

Devour, through your non-safe tears.

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Thorgy Choripán

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, nine former losers ru-turned for their ru-demption against the OG queen BeBe Zahara Benet. She was looking for rudemption from the season 1 filter, amirite? They were then put through their paces with an All Stars variety show where BenDeLaCreme, Aja and Thorgy shined, while Milk, Chi Chi DeVayne and Morgan struggled. Tragically season 2 – Shangela counts for season 3, ok? – did not come through this time, with Morgan getting the axe from BenDeLaCreme for vowing to eliminate strategically. Which is kind of a strategic elimination.

After Morgan’s elimination where Ben was feeling hella shitty, starting to cry and downplaying the victory. This didn’t fly well with the queens, with Shangela and Thorgy thinking she was playing it up. Chi Chi thanked her for saving her and vowed to show Ben that it was the right decision. Awkwardly, Aja did not agree … revealing that had she won the lip sync, Chi Chi would have sashayed away.

In any event, Shangela had vowed to go all Khaaleesi on their arses, becoming the mother drag queens and snatching the throne.

The next day the queens returned to the werkroom where the girls got down to celebrating their skills in the talent show. Well, except for Chi Chi, who felt Milk was pretty beige and wasn’t showing much talent. Well beyond velcro, as Trixie put it. The discussion was interrupted by Ru, who dropped by to announce this week’s challenge – a lip sync extravaganza, a VH1 Diva’s Live tribute to the one, the only, RuPaul!

Milk got my dear friend cirque du Celine, Kennedy was tasked with Janet Jackson, Aja was given Amy Winehouse, Chi Chi would be Patti LaBelle, Trixie – obvs – got my girl Dolly, Shangela was going to be Mariah Carey, Thorgy got Stevie Nicks, Julie Andrews would be played by BenDeLaCreme while BeBe was given the queen of the divas and my heart, Diana Ross. To make it even more difficult, the runway would offer everyone rudemption by redoing one of their worst outfits from their OG season. Meaning BeBe will come as a filter and Shangie will wear 90% of her former outfits.

The queens broke away in the werkroom to listen to their songs and learn the lyrics, where Thorgy noticed that she had the smallest part and it wasn’t very funny. While she didn’t want to seem like a crazy flat-earther, she felt the part was setting her up to fail … which Shangela tried to deny. But where is the lie though? I mean, was Katya meant to knock Diana out of the park in Mall Stars 2?

On the flipside, Milk was thrilled with his role and would be wearing her outfit from the Met Gala instead of a backward suit. He didn’t feel it mattered though, as a friend of her uncle’s sister’s brother’s driver saw him perform Celine and loved it.

Todrick made his triumphant(?) return to All Stars to choreograph the show, where Shangie as Mariah was obvi late for the rehearsals. Todrick started with Kennedy, who was struggling with the choreo, pissing off Todrick. Thorgy was too much of a Stevie purist, stripping out most of Todrick’s choreography. Shangela’s method acting started to drive the queens mental, particular Milk who was well and truly over it. Thankfully Milk wasn’t the only one being shady, with Todrick getting into BeBe’s head about Ru living for Diana Ross and getting Ben to drink some swag juice, which sounds all fifty shades of Weinstein. By the time it got to Chi Chi’s rehearsal, Thorgy realised that literally everyone had been utilised in everyone else’s performance, leading to Thorgy demanding another appearance.

On show day, the queens spoke about their rudemption outfits with Shangela sharing that her outfit was judged by Vanessa Williams … who was once again judging this week. Talk turned to how difficult the choreography was – and I assume how lowkey scary Todrick is – and how they were perceived in their OG seasons. Kennedy was unaware of her resting bitch-face, Trixie felt she was talentless and Thorgy admitted that she was obsessed with Bob.

It was finally time for the Diva’s tribute where Milk was a solid Ariana Grande as Celine back-up, Kennedy got off on the wrong foot – literally – and never really seemed to get into it, Aja was eerily like Amy, Chi Chi served IT as Patti and Trixie was wonderful as Trixie soz, Dolly. Then Shangela arrived and brought the house down as Mariah, though given she had the best script by FAR, you’d hope she did. Thorgy did a strong Stevie … but I found myself watching Milk in the background, doing his homage to Celine getting caught in her heel. Ben was also amazing, though once again, had one of the better scripts. BeBe was the last to go and was a killer Di.

On the runway, Milk redid his glamourous number though looked more like the Tony’s runway after giving birth. Aja had Princess Disastah glow the fuck up, Chi Chi redid her neon runway by borrowing Bob’s neon look, Trixie looked like Baby Jane, Kennedy uopdated her death becomes her look before crystalising into a glamazon and Thorgy too decided to fix her neon look, looking like a Power Rangers villain. DeLa updated his dripping with jewels look, which looked pretty great anyway, BeBe fixed her entrance look and Shangela slayed by redoing her Christmas look, WALKING THE RUNWAY IN A SNOWGLOBE. It was epic. Shangela, Ben and BeBe landed in the top, while Chi Chi, Thorgy and Kennedy landed in the bottom.

Milk, Aja and Trixie took their place in the safe zone, where Milk proceeded to have a hushed meltdown about the top three believing that he should have been there instead. Given everyone could hear, it was super awkward.

Kennedy was called out for not knowing the lyrics or bringing Janet to life, while Chi Chi only received positive critiques aside from disliking the coat making his appearance in the bottom odd. Shangela was praised for everything, rightly so … though I do agree with Thorgy, it was kind of a given. Speaking of which, she was read for filth for her outfit and performance of Stevie. Once again, DeLa was universally praised, as was BeBe who gave me life as Di. Ultimately Shangela and BenDeLaCreme won the challenge, while Kennedy and Thorgy landed themselves in the bottom two.

Backstage Thorgy was really emotional and Trixie was topless, before Shangela and DeLa took the bottoms away for a chat. Shangela continued to channel the mother of dragons, talking to Thorgy about potentially forming an alliance. Though Shangela was super concerned about her getting stuck in her head and being a bad choice to save. Meanwhile Kennedy worked on convincing DeLa she had so much more to give, while she agreed and thought Kennedy could make it to the top three, the judges didn’t see Janet … which was the challenge. Out of nowhere Milk started to cry, thinking his performance was better than it was judged and that he deserved stage time. It wasn’t pretty and it makes me sad.

Thorgy then sat down with DeLa and tried to get her to admit she didn’t deserve to be in the bottom two, then threw shade at BeBe … and then threatened DeLa should she eliminate her. Meanwhile Kennedy tried to play up her growth, and then her friendship with Shangela. Neither Shangela or DeLa were confident in their choices, though brought the house down to Hugh Grant as the PM in Love Actually’s hit song, Jump. I mean, Shangela damn jumped rope throughout the chorus, DeLa got breathless, stripped and then started mimicking Shangie’s moves. Well, until she brought out the ‘80s aerobics moves, with which she couldn’t keep up with. Ultimately Shangela’s skipping won her the lip sync, which tragically lead to a very salty elimination for my girl Thorgy.

To say Thorg was pissed is obviously an understatement, though thankfully our friendship is so great that I can usually snap her out f a Bob-esque meltdown after a matter of mintues. And if that fails, I pull out a Thorgy Choripán and all is right with the world.

Hot and spicy are two ways I like the insertion of sausage into buns to be described, and this is no exception. Sizzling chorizo, hot chimichurri and delicate, fresh buns. I’m all in … balls deep … forever.

Enjoy!

Thorgy Choripán
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
½ red onion, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
½ red capsicum, seeded and diced
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
salt and pepper, to taste
6 fresh hot chorizo
6 small baguettes … or hot dog shaped Kirsten Bunst
½ cup chimichurri

Method
Combine the onion, tomato and capsicum in a bowl with the olive oil and red wine vinegar, and a good whack of salt and pepper.

Heat a skillet over medium heat until scorching, reduce heat to low and add the chorizo. Fry, turning on a couple of times, until they are cooked through aka about ten to fifteen minutes.

To serve, split your buns, spread with the salsa, top with the chorizo and add the chimichurri. Devour, immediately.

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Morgan McNuggles

Main, Poultry, Snack, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Roxxxy, Detox, Katya and Alaska were the final … wait a minute, this isn’t All Stars 2. Aka RuPaul’s Best Friend Race – All Stars 3 is finally getting all started and another queen will join Chad and Alaska in the dystopian wasteland known as the Drag Race Hall of Fame.

Lining up for another shot at the crown is Trixie who arrived serving Roller Barbie realness complete with her trademark dad jokes to an empty room. She was joined by my dear friend Milk, serving flatulent pinocchio Sia sexy, now with more confidence given her stratesphoric rise post being defeated by Bianca Del Rio. They were quickly joined by the bayou queen Chi Chi DeVayne who’s entire family is now completely ready, I assume in matching trash. But seriously, why hasn’t Glad sponsored her?

Thorgy Thor returned full of energy and still completely distracted and annoyed by Bob, immediately driving Chi Chi insane. Like the hair that got stuck to her face during confessionals. Back from the dead, Morgan McMichaels returned looking amazing, ready to destroy everyone and still shocking me by the fact the kindness of Chad birthed the evil of Morgs. Aja arrived like an anime character on a scooter, ready to fuck shit up … and I assume, become All Stars 3 version of Alyssa because she feels FUN. She also kinda channeled Maya Rudolph which is always a win.

The terminally delightful BenDeLaCreme returned – apparently from an extended hiatus – in an upcycled gown from her Miss Congeniality coronation, hoping to prove that you can win a crown whilst being nice. Whilst wearing a crown, Jughead style, in confession. Grab your passport because next up was Newark, LaGuardia, Kennedy Davenport, still glorious, still unable to look in a single direction. A package then arrived in the doorway which obviously meant Shangela was back back back back, back again, hoping to prove that the third time truly is the charm.

While waiting for more queens to arrive – hopefully from season 5 – the queens were surprised by Ru’s arrival welcoming them all to the competition and earn their rudemption … before dropping the bomb that a tenth queen would be entering the competition. And that queen was none other than the victor of season 1, the OG – BeBe Zahara Benet. Everyone was shocked to see a winner return, however as Ru said, she had to survive the season 1 filter so technically, this is our first time actually seeing her.

After brushing up on the All Stars rules – the girls eliminate each other – the pit crew returned to flood my basement and hand out glasses because reading is, what? Fundamental. Thorgy opened up the library with some mild shade before Chi Chi and Kennedy moderately upped the game. Then Milk dropped by and surprised me with some savage burns – Kennedy not needing to look both ways before crossing the street being my fave, obvi. Morgan was brutal, Shangela was Shangela, Trixie likened Aja to Seal, Aja was Aja but totally charming, BenDeLa called Thorgy IT and Shangie old and Queen BeBe wrapped things up by telling Morgan life already read her. Obviously BenDeLaCreme took it out, as she was by far the funniest.

Ru then announced that like last All Stars, they would be kicking things off with a Variety Show maxi-challenge and I am more than ready for someone to surprise me like Tatiana’s killer spoken word.

The queens made themselves at home in the werkroom where BeBe quickly solidified her position as the sweetest person in the world, excited to work with and learn from more girls. They then started sharing what they’d be doing at the talent show – with four essentially doing the exact same performance – before Ben and Morgan spoke about how they’d be deciding to eliminate girls. The latter, obviously, straight up admitted that if she were to win a lip sync, she would be eliminating the biggest competition which is obviously what most people will be doing … but why say that and make yourself a target? Though you do have to admit, being upfront isn’t very villainous.

The next day the queens greeted each other as they prepared for the show, with Shangie terrified that she would land in the bottom on the first episode for the third time. Morgan continued to earn her rudemption, bonding with Aja and Thorgy and showing a softer side. While on the other side of the room, DeLa spoke about how hard it was to lose season 6, and KenneChiChi mentioned they were shocked to see Aja back so soon.

With that out of the way, Ru, Michelle, Ross and Carson were joined by Vanessa Hudgens to watch the Variety Show, which kicked off with a high-energy, Sister Act-esque lip sync from Shangela. She was followed by OG BeBe who did the same performance – no shade to either of them – though with the Sister Act influence traded out with Lion King. But who cares because Camerooooooooooooooooon. Thorgy finally had the chance to bring her thorchestra to the stage and it was EVERYTHING. While it started off slow and dramatic, she upped the tempo AND DID A ONE HANDED CARTWHEEL WITH THE VIOLIN.

Well it was everything until Aja arrived to vogue the shit out of the competition, lip syncing and death dropping her way across the stage AND THEN OFF A DAMN BOX. Which I assumed Shangela had just left lying around. She was followed by Kennedy with another insanely high-octane dance number, this time culminating on a cartwheel ONTO the box. Now I saw some shade about the cast before the premiere … but damn are they shutting up the haters.

BenDeLaCreme then arrived with more nipple tassels than you could ever need, though they were not always in the right places. And damn was it hilarious. Chi Chi was up next, putting the baton in Baton Rogue, twirling it like her life depended on it. Though it didn’t appear to go down well with the judges. Nor did Morgan’s performance, who spent most of the time lip syncing to her competitors, rather than the audience … while her hair fell out. Trixie slowed things down with a country number before Milk pulled out a paper doll lip sync number which bored the hell out of Kennedy and Chi Chi, though it appeared to go down well with the audience. Though it could have just been the inclusion of the pit crew.

In any event, Trixie, BeBe, Milk and Kennedy were deemed safe before Michelle reiterated she wouldn’t try to make anyone cry or quit this year. Shangie’s performance was praised, though her look was deemed underwhelming. Thorgy’s performance was praised, though her muted energy was called into question. Aja received universal praise, particularly for being a model. As did BenDeLa. Sadly Chi Chi was read for her terrible choice of ugly jazz shoes, despite being able to do backflips in six-inch heels. Morgan was praised for looking amazing, however her nervous performance was called out. Dare I say it, her inner saboteur was the problem. Aja and Ben ended up taking out victory to lip sync for their legacy and choose who to send home from the bottom two, who ended up being Chi Chi and Morgan.

Backstage the girls discussed whether they should come to a consensus about who to eliminate, with Ben deciding they should follow All Stars 2 lead and base eliminations on the judges critiques. Which the other girls quickly pointed out, did not actually happen. They did agree to eliminate people if they loaned them an ugly bedazzled singlet. I think?

Ben and Aja each took some time out with the bottom two, with Chi Chi admitting to both that he fucked up though felt that he had far more to prove. Aja was disappointed that Morgan didn’t give her Morgan on the mainstage, and felt that she had way more to give. DeLa then spoke to Morgan about her plan to eliminate the competition, which Morgan reiterated before pointing out where Chi Chi went wrong in the challenge to try and distract DeLa from her fear of leaving Morgan in, only for her to eliminate her if she fell in the bottom.

Both Aja and Ben slayed the lip sync, the former serving thottie realness and DeLa sticking with the comedy route. DeLa ultimately prevailed, taking out the 10K tip – aka half of BeBe’s prize for season 1 – and sending Morgan McMichaels out of the competition as the first boot … to save herself if she ever landed in the bottom.

Let’s be honest, nuggets are quite possibly one of the best things invented. Little morsels of battered chicken, fried to crispy perfection and allowing more surface area to cover in sauce. I must be a biscuit, because I’m about to slop this UP.

Enjoy!

Morgan McNuggles
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g chicken breasts, sliced in half horizontally and into nugget sized pieces
1 cup flour
1 ½ tbsp salt
1 ½ tsp raw caster sugar
¼ tsp ground white pepper
1 tsp ground black pepper, halved
¼ tsp onion powder
½ cup soda water
1 egg
¼ cup cornflour
vegetable oil, for fryin’
Sweet and Sour Sauce, for dippin’

Method
Heat 1 inch of vegetable oil in a large pot on medium heat while you prep the nuggets.

Combine the flour, salt, sugar, white pepper and half the black pepper in one bowl, and whisk the soda water, egg, cornflour, onion powder and remaining black pepper in another bowl.

Dust the pieces of chicken in the dry flour mix, shake off excess, bathe in the batter, allow excess to roll off and place one in the oil to check the temp. If it sizzles nicely, add as many nuggets that fit in the pan and cook for a couple of minutes either side, or until cooked through. Remove to a paper-towel to absorb any excess oil, and repeat the process until they’re all cooked.

Devour, slathered in Sweet and Sour Sauce. Because that is the only Maccas sauce that matters.

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Halleloo, they’re back bitches!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Finally – yes, finally – my dear friend and saviour RuPaul has bequeathed us with a third season of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars.

While it has only been 18 months since Alaska snatched the crown slash place in the Drag Race Hall of Fame … my pussy is well and truly on fire. With anticipation, nothing Katya-esque. Though if she were interested, I would answer that call.

In any event, nine queens are about to line up – with a gag-worthy tenth hidden in the wings as a surprise – for another lap, and I’ll be back stage occupying myself with the Pit Crew – or playing cards with Chad and Alaska in the HoF – in between cooking the queens some dragtastic dishes.

Don’t get ready, stay ready – first recipe is live on Sunday!

Image source: VH1.

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	Hojichanine Lattalli… on Lena Wafers
	Hojichanine Lattalli… on Vanilla Ice Cream
	Hojichanine Lattalli… on Festive Cirie Fields Mush…
	Hojichanine Lattalli… on Herby Bentllia Chips
	Hojichanine Lattalli… on Shonudi Bowtell

Fame Hungry

Procrasti-baking with our celebrity faux-riends

Logo

Morgan McGriddles

BenDeLaCreme Caramel

Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies

A’ja

Chimichi Chi DeVayne

Milk Duds

Thorgy Choripán

Morgan McNuggles

Halleloo, they’re back bitches!