10s across my board

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, TV Recap

While I normally come to you complaining about how parched I am between seasons, it doesn’t really fly for RuPaul’s Drag Race 10 since Trixie Mattel hasn’t even reached the one week anniversary of her crowning.

Side note: can you actually believe it has been (less than) a week since Shangela was down dirty by Alexis Michelle, the producer?

Anyway – I love Trixie, I love Shangie, hell I even still love Milk after the arrogance … but well, there needs to be less twists, because sometimes they blow up in your face. Though in this instance – us getting season 10 a week after All Stars 3 finished – it worked out for the best, so let’s be grateful.

So yeah … this kinda went off the rails no? Buckle in – well don’t worry about that Tyra, go wild babe – sit back and prepare to be gagged on the eleganza of season 10.

Well, unless Kameron is free …

Image source: VH1.

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Rajita

RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 3

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3 is officially over meaning the shortest off season is finally upon us! While Shangela was arguably robbed, Trixie is more than worthy of a place in the Hall of Fame and to sit amongst the rest of the queens in the winner’s circle. I mean, fucking Tyra won … let’s focus on an actual talentless person taking the crown, rather than hating any of the nice queens.

Anyway, I’m not here to hate on Tyra … though I could, endlessly. As our feud has once again recommenced. I’m here to mark the last countdown celebration with my dear friend Raja … who once again is tasked with clearing up the mess left by the messy Ty-Ty.

After a season full of negativity and more irritating singing than me at shower time, Raja was a breath of fresh air. She had a killer aesthetic, a sassy attitude and was the frontrunner from day one. And while I love me some Manila, my dear friend – we met through the good Tyra aka Tyra Banks – Raja deserved her crown. Heathers drama (mawma) be damned.

While Raja was already on her way over as the pinnacle of my countdown crown, she arrived a couple of days earlier to make sure the vicious attacks of Tyra weren’t getting me down. And, of course since she is an angel, watch Trixie snatch the crown from Kennedy, Shangie and BeBe for my birthday.

We laughed, we cried, we wondered if my thirst for Kameron would be more than Trixie’s for the dancer, if Asia will school the queens like her daughter Phi Phi, if Eureka will pull herself after pulling a hammy or Dusty Ray will make us all bottoms after a couple of sips from Blair’s flask … before smashing some spicy Rajitas.

Lightly spiced and sizzling hot, it is exactly how I describe Raja. And like Raja, then only get better when shoved in your mouth.

Enjoy!

Rajita
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 lemon, juiced and zested
salt and pepper, to taste
2 tsp oregano
1 ½ tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp chilli flakes
3 garlic cloves, minced
600g chicken breast, cut into strips
1 red capsicum, julienned
1 green capsicum, julienned
2 onions, sliced
tortillas, grated cheese, guacamole, Salsa Struthers and sour cream, to serve

Method

Combine a lug of oil with the lemon juice and zest, herbs and spices, garlic and a good whack of salt and pepper. Toss to combine, add the chicken and toss to coat. Cover and leave to marinate for 6 hours.

When you’re ready to go, heat another lug of oil in a large skillet, and sweat the capsicum and onions until fragrant and sweet. Remove from the pan and allow to rest.

In the same pan, cook the marinated chicken for a couple of minutes or until lightly charred and cook through. Add the onion and capsicum, stir and remove from the pan.

Serve immediately with tortillas, cheese, guac, salsa and sour cream before devouring, slovenly.

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Thixieshake Nutella

Dessert, Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race 7, Sweets, TV Recap

After BeBe, Kennedy and Shangela had their chance to plead their case, Trixie arrived free of the guilt of sending anyone to the jury aka the big house, if you prefer Shangie’s terminology. Thorgy kicked things off asking how Trixie felt making it to the end, with Ms Mattel admitting that after floating for the first half of the season, she stopped fearing the worst after landing in the bottom and instead did whatever she want … which worked. Train them butterflies, girl.

Confirming that they have probably already made up their mind that she would go to the end, Thorgy asked who she would be proud to lip sync against in the top two, with Trixie going into bat for Shangela, maybe, saying that she will always be an All Star. Aja brought some spice to the interview asking which of the four she would cut if they had to go to a top three instead, with her echoing her sentiment that BeBe and Kennedy are the two she would debate between. BeBe, because she hasn’t grown in the decade since she won, compared to DeLa, Morgan, Milk or Chi Chi for instance, and Kennedy for wearing a worst final runway outfit than the won she wore in season 7.

Aja then asked how winning would broaden her experience and brand, with Trixie choking back tears talking about all that she has achieved since her season and how like Shangela, that makes her an All Star already. While she kind of had the Shangela-esque growth ask, she was able to convince everyone but Morgan to send her to the end to lip sync for the crown.

When it came to the lip sync, she may not have had the moves nor ever won a lip sync in Drag Race herstory, she commanded the stage and hit every single syllable, turning Kennedy into a back-up dancer. She then started snatching her own wig, piece by piece, and that was when it was all over. Trixie and Kennedy took their place on centre stage and Ru decreed that Trixie Mattel would be joining Chad and Alaska in the Drag Race Hall of Fame.

While Trixie may not have had the best track record, her post-season growth and the fact she only tanked one challenge – like both Chad and Alaska on their seasons, FYI – makes her more than worthy of the crown. And any issues people may have with the twists should be directed at the producers – looking at you Alexis Michelle – and not the killer queens.

Which coincidentally is what I said as I held my dear friend Trixie close and handed her an ice cold victory Thixieshake Nutella.

Sweet, a little bit thick and packed full of hidden nuts, this perfectly rich thickshake is the perfect way to toast to the latest Hall of Famer.

Enjoy … (while you think about how much fun she will have with Chalaska during All Stars 4)!

Thixieshake Nutella
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 cups vanilla ice cream
½ cup nutella
¼-½ cup milk
½ cup thickened cream, whipped
¼ cup hazelnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Combine the ice cream, nutella and milk in a blender and blitz until combined.

Pour into a glass, top with whipped cream and sprinkle with hazelnuts.

Then, obviously, down.

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Kennedy Davenport Wine Jelly

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race 7, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

After seven weeks of fighting their way to the top four, Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross had one final gag for the season … and handing it over to a jury of our queers to decide who would get a chance to lip sync for their crown. And while BeBe couldn’t be genuine enough to snag a slot and the queens, well, I have no idea why they did what they did by eliminating Shangela, pageant girl Kennedy knew how to manage a crowd.

Kennedy proved that she had done a good job forming relationships with the queens, with the jury thrilled to see her file to kiki after BeBe. Aja asked her how she could take her classic drag style into the future and represent the Hall of Fame, which she felt she was already doing after her journey on season 7.

Chi Chi then almost broke down about how proud she was of her surrogate drag mother. Kennedy felt that since BeBe already won, and Trixie and Shangela were already dominating the world, this was her one chance to shine. And based off the beaming smile from DeLa and the round of applause from Milk, Morgan and Thorgy, it was clear that the eliminated queens were won over.

Every single damn one except Thorgy, with Kennedy getting the most votes to continue in the competition.

With BeBe and Shangela out of the way and banished to the back of the stage, the season 7 queens got to work lip syncing to my girl Miley’s Wrecking Ball which I forgot was a balad. Somehow.

While Kennedy pulled out all the stops and was flipping and kicking her way across the stage, it was no match for Trixie who hit every lyric and made sure the judges knew it. With that out of the way, Ru crowned Trixie and Kennedy finished in second place.

Yes, she Roxxxy-ed her way into the final, and yes, the queens seemed to vote for her because she needed the title … but that doesn’t take away from the fact Kennedy is a killer queen and doesn’t always get the recognition she deserves. And I remembered that as she walked into the ashes of the Werk Room – remember I burnt it down as Shangie’s boot – we hugged it out, and split a Kennedy Davenport Wine Jelly worthy of a runner up.

Now I like Aeroplane Jelly as much as the next man, or their jingle, but this is the only port wine jelly you want. A little tart, a little sweet and most importantly, packing a boozy punch … it makes everything ok.

Enjoy!

Kennedy Davenport Wine Jelly
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
5 gelatine leaves
2 cups port wine
2 cups raw caster sugar

Method
Break the gelatine leaves into a saucepan with ½ cup of the port wine and cook, whisking, over a low heat or until the gelatine is completely dissolved. Add the sugar and cook until completely dissolved. Remove from the heat, and stir through the remaining port until combined.

Strain into a mould and refrigerate overnight, or until set.

Then devour.

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Shangelato

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race 2, RuPaul's Drag Race 3, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

After participating in the most ambitious – Ru’s words, not mine … but totally correct – final performance challenge ever staged, the final four arrived on the runway to learn that the booted queens, not Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross would decide the final two.

Following BeBe and Kennedy’s turn facing the jury, it was time for dear Shangela … who felt like – of course – Ned Stark, walking up to his death. Running the numbers, things weren’t looking good with three queens on the jury because she sent them there, two that felt they were eliminated too early and then DeLa who eliminated herself yet still had to be in every damn episode anyway and probably regretted quitting.

Chi Chi kicked off the interview by asking how she felt with them deciding who made it to the top two, with Shangela admitting that she was nervous people may hold a grudge. Looking at you, Thorgy! Morgan asked why it was now her time, given it is her third attempt at the crown. She shared about how much she learnt after those seasons and this is her graduation night, much to the delight of Aja and Thorgy. After a halleloo, she bid them adieu with DeLa and Milk’s solemn faces filling me with dread that DeLa’s hat would contribute to Shangela’s red wedding.

Tragically my concerns were well placed as the three-peat only managed one point to progress to the final two, shockingly – and this is the true gag of the season – from the bitterest of Bettys, Thorgy Thor. And with that a fairytale was crushed and Shangela Laquifa Wadley Targaryen Lannister Stark Bo’nina Brown Flowers was robbed of a chance to fight for the crown and finished in third place.

Yes, he killer track record and her growth from first boot, to rootable underdog and finally frontrunner earns her third place outright. In my heart anyway.

While I was flipping out and burning down the Werk Room – why do you think they’re using a new one for season 10? – when she arrived backstage, she was able to calm me down and reiterate that just being there and getting Ru’s approval felt like a graduation. With that, the lovely second alternate – to quote her mama, Alyssa – held me tight and we split a tub of Shangelato while I sobbed silently.

A little salty, a whole lot sweet and velvety smooth, this is the best way to wash the bitter taste of her loss out of your mouth. Side note: enough with the twists Ru, this isn’t Survivor and the best woman should always win.

Enjoy!

Shangelato
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
600ml double cream
375g condensed milk
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup JL Salkeld Caramel … or Dulce de Nick Lachey and 1 tsp sea salt

Method
Combine the double cream, condensed milk, vanilla extract and caramel in the bowl of a stand mixer, and whisk on low until soft peaks form.

Transfer to a container and freeze overnight.

The next day, remove it from the freezer and devour to consume your heartache.

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BeBe Za’atara Lambet

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race 1, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Morgan returned to the competition following BenDeLaChrist’s sacrifice to join the remaining queens in a raunchy, Awards Season rom-com. Despite not getting the role she desired, Trixie stole the show while Shangie was Shangie and brought the house down, while BeBe was the epitome of beige and Morgan was awks. After Shangela murdered Trixie in the lip sync, poor Morgan was put out of her misery and out of the competition for the second time this season.

The final four returned to the werk room to celebrate their achievements before BeBe immediately hit up Trixie to find out who she would have eliminated, despite the fact BeBe refused to spill the week before. Thankfully Trixie threw an oak tree’s worth of shade at BeBe to the delight of Kennedy and Shangela – out of respect for Morgan, of course – before admitting that she too would have sent Morgan home. Shangela was overjoyed to have come full circle, from first boot to finalist, though posed the question, who was about to Showgirls her (aka the frontrunner)? And while Kennedy and BeBe were quick to admit they would, it filled me with dread that this fairytale may not end happily for our obese stripper.

Trixie on the other hand was fairly confident the future Nomi’s were going to get the chop before the final lip sync. And bless BeBe, she thought she would fit in in the hall of fame.

The next day Ru arrived to introduce the final challenge, writing, singing and dancing in the most ambitious production number in drag race herstory. Obviously that made Kennedy feel far more confident, while BeBe and Trixie looked nervous. Until Ru mentioned Todrick, after which they were all nervous. To pile on the drama and intrigue, Ru then announced that the eliminated queens would be returning once again, making Shangela ask what we’re all thinking – why doesn’t Ru lock the damn door?

Ru left them with the ominous threat that the eliminated queens would play a role in the deliberations. This obviously sent the final four into a tailspin, with Trixie floating the spy-intell role, Shangela – like the episode title suggests – thinks they will be a jury and vote for the winner while BeBe thinks they and her remaining competitors will continue to perform backup for her.

The queens arrived to learn Todrick’s choreography where Trixie feared her thirst would get the best of her after being assigned the hottest – and I use that term loosely – dance partner. BeBe feared the extreme heights of jumping into a man’s arms and completely bombed the entire rehearsal and Todrick was annoyed by the fact they weren’t all committing to the routine. He then separated Trixie from the man making her dehydrated in all the ways and took the final four out the back and dropped the bomb that the entire thing will be performed and shot live, in one take. Filling Shangela and Trixie with joy at the prospect for destroying Read You, Wrote You, and BeBe looked like she saw the ghost of the lipsticks she refused to show the girls last episode.

Coronation Day arrived with Shangela still feeling giddy about how far she has come and Trixie spent time perfecting her dance moves before bringing up the ruruturn of the eliminated queens. While the queens expected animosity, they hoped it wouldn’t be as bad as the roast they received the first time they returned. BeBe then asked the remaining queens if they knew they would make the top four, with Trixie admitting she had doubts after Snatch Game, BeBe felt that she has the best track record and therefore wasn’t concerned.

Despite Roxxxy-ing her way to the final four, Kennedy absolutely slayed the live performance with her energy while Shangie and Trixie’s verses were near perfection and worthy of a crown but while BeBe’s verse was good, her dancing struggled and the OG winner was a distant fourth place. On the runway, BeBe dressed as a Big Cat, Kennedy coloured with all the colours of the rainbow, Shangela came ready to claim her crown and Trixie served sexy poodle.

With the runway complete, Ru confirmed Shangie’s suspicions and announced that following critiques they would return to the werk room with the eliminated queens who would then cast their vote to decide which All Stars will move on to the top two. While Trixie looked ok with the fact it was becoming RuPaul’s best friend race, Shangela looked like she was about to throw up, Kennedy was pissed and BeBe, of course, looked confident.

Despite bombing the performance BeBe received praise for her track record and for being brave enough to come back and defend her crown. Kennedy’s killer performance was well received and Shangela received universal praise for slaying the season with even Michelle admitting how proud she was of Shangie’s growth from season 2. While the judges acknowledged Trixie struggled at the start of the season, her growth was praised as was the fact she hit her strides at exactly the right moment. Ru then dismissed them all to face the jury and Michelle looked as anxious as I feel.

BeBe was up first and knew that none of the girls were feeling she deserved a second title. She tried to sell herself as an immigrant that had to fight each day to Aja as her point of difference to potential fellow Hall of Famers Chad and Alaska. Thorgy then tried to wrangle who she would have eliminated and ruturned to the competition out of her, with her lying that everyone was content with her not doing that despite Morgan being there and knowing it was a bold faced lie. Surprisingly she stood her ground and refused to tell them which lipsticks she had before DeLa went to town with the Wite Out, telling them if that is their reason for eliminating her, so be it. While she felt it was pointless and they had already made up their minds, the eliminated queens just wanted her to speak to them like sisters and give genuine answers rather than treating it like a pageant.

As such, she only managed to receive two points to move to the final two from Morgan McMichaels landing her in fourth place. Well technically tied for third … but that is something I’ll get to next.

Now I know I have been hard on the OG BeBe the last few weeks but if anyone should have been owning the competition like DeLa, it is the first winner to ruturn to the competition. That being said, she did well throughout the entire competition and if nothing else, got to showcase her talents to a larger audience without the horror of being filmed through an inch of Vaseline. As such, I pulled her into my arms backstage, condragulated her on a job well done and made her join me for a big ol’ roast BeBe Za’atara Lambet.

Despite it being of middle eastern origins, this meal is fit for the Queen of Africa. Spiced, rich and fresh, it is the best rack I’ve seen all week. No shade to the queens, obvi.

Enjoy!

BeBe Za’atara Lambet
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 lamb racks
3 tbsp za’ atar
1 cauliflower, cut into florets
1 tbsp ground cumin
½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp chilli
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C.

Place the lamb racks on lined baking sheet and press the za’atar into the meat. Place the cauliflower on another lined baking sheet and sprinkle with cumin, cinnamon, chilli and salt and pepper, and toss to coat. Drizzle olive oil over the lamb and cauliflower, toss to coat again, and place both in the oven to bake for half an hour or so.

Remove the lamb from the oven, cover with foil and allow to rest for fifteen minutes while the cauliflower crisps up.

Cut the lamb into racks and serve on a bed of cauliflower before devouring, greedily.

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Tyra Sanchez Bow

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 2, Snack, Street Food

After exhausting the remainder of season 10’s judges table with Carson and Ross over the last couple of weeks, I decided it was time to return to winner’s circle. And since BeBe is currently in competition – and I know following the allegedly deceased Morgan’s second recipe will piss her off – I reached out to the other Tyra (Sanchez, FYI) to help me countdown.

I know Tyra has said and done some horrific things, and is feuding with 90% of her fellow drag race queens – shout out to Tatianna and Raja – but against all odds, we’ve remained friends. If for no other reason that garbage people have to stick together.

Plus – we’ve known each other for years.

I first met Tyra when I was scouting out all the Beyonce impersonators for the Queen Bey. If they were terrible, I ended their careers and if they were decent, they were allowed to continue. And in the other Tyra’s case, flourish.

There were less than five minutes between her arrival and us getting into a screaming match. I couldn’t tell you what it was about, but it was brutal, petty and continued until I served up a Tyra Sanchez Bow, after which all our issues disappeared and our friendship renewed.

Fiery, packing a punch and strangely beautiful, this baby is the personification of Tyra. Though don’t tell her that. Maybe just lie and tell her it is delicious because she is delicious. I don’t want my death erroneously announced. Like Morgan.

Enjoy!

Tyra Sanchez Bow
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp sesame oil
500g beef mince
5 garlic cloves diced
1 tsp freshly grated ginger
1 cup mushrooms, sliced
¼ cup soy sauce
3 tbsp oyster sauce
3 tbsp kecap manis
1 tbsp sriracha
2 chilli, roughly chopped
4 iceberg lettuce leaves
2 carrots, cut into batons
3 shallots, finely sliced
¼ red cabbage, finely sliced
mint, to serve
toasted sesame seeds, to serve

Method
Heat the oil in a large skillet over high heat and cook the mince for five minutes, breaking up with a wooden spoon as you go. Add the garlic, ginger and mushrooms and cook for a further couple of minutes. Add the soy and oyster sauces, kecap manis, sriracha and chilli and toss to coat.

To serve, place the lettuce cups on a plate, top with the mince mixture, sprinkle over carrots, spring onions, cabbage, mint and sesame seeds. Then devour, immediately.

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Morgan McGriddles

Breakfast, Burgers, RuPaul's Drag Race, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the top five were tasked with auditioning for Ru’s new girl group the Kitty Girls … against the five previously eliminated queens. Gasp. Sadly for the eliminees, the top five wiped the floor with them, none more so than DeLa and (apparently) BeBe who lip synced for the chance to eliminate one of their fellow top fivers and bring back Morgan, Thorgy, Milk, Chi Chi or Aja. DeLa won yet again, bringing Morgan back to the competition before pulling off the gag of the century AND ELIMINATING HERSELF FROM THE COMPETITION.

Needless to say the new top five were pretty shook when they returned to the werkroom. Trixie couldn’t believe she opted out Geri style in front of Baby Bunton, no doubt concerned about it triggering some PTSD (Viva Forever, Baby). Morgan wasn’t sure whether she was more shocked about being chosen to return, or the fact DeLa kinda wasted a spot of another alumni who would have fought hard for the crown. While they agreed she hated pulling lipsticks, Kennedy wasn’t down for her quit. Obviously.

Thankfully Trixie put it best, saying that now that their front runner has gone, they’re the pretty girls at prom and their chances of winning just skyrocketed. Well, except for Kennedy and Morgan TBH.

The queens checked in to see how Morgan was going … before BeBe got hella shady and refused to show anyone who she was planning to eliminate or bring back. Shangelarys Targaryen just found her Cersei, and she ain’t happy.

Ru dropped by the werkroom with Queen Nancy Pelosi who is a delightful fucking icon and I love her. After reminding everyone to vote, Ru tasked her with werking before handing the queens their next task – playing Oscar winning roles in a raunchy comedy. Morgan’s welcome back gift was to cast the roles, giving Sharon Frockovich to Trixie, The Queen to BeBe, Actavia to Shangela, The Beige Swan to herself and La La to Kennedy, much to Trixie chagrin, who wanted one of the latter two.

The queens met with Ross who coached them through overacting during filming. Shangela obviously slayed her poo-pie making role, while BeBe assumed she was the queen that inspired The Queen, while Trixie thankfully discovered her role was a true gift hamming it up to Ross’ delight. Kennedy was then too much, and Morgan was mute … and then hissed at everyone.

We flashed forward to elimination day where Trixie discovered she suffers from my problem, being so sarcastic that people assume she is an asshole (RIP the Big and the Milky). Morgan however flagged that sometimes people do think she thinks a little highly of herself. Shangie called out BeBe for being bougie, looking down her nose at other queens. Morgan talked about loving to share the stage with her fellow sisters, poor Kennedy spoke about wanting to be people’s first choice rather than an afterthought.

On the runway, BeBe and Kennedy exchanged looks with BeBe covered in rhinestones and Kennedy bringing full glamazon. Morgan went full Scot, Shangela was horny and Trixie slayed them all, dressed as the sexiest librarian complete with a stack of books on her head to help reading for filth. Ru then gave a screening of their films trailer, where Trixie and Shangela owned the screen while the other three floundered. At best.

BeBe was praised for her runway, though destroyed for her acting. Shangela and Trixie deservedly universal praise, Kennedy was meh and Morgan was praised for her runway before being destroyed for her performance as The Beige Swan.

Trixie and Shangela obviously took out victory, giving them the opportunity to grill the bottom 3 and make them sweat. BeBe felt she did well in the challenge – spoiler, she didn’t – and that her track record should be enough to keep herself safe … before letting slip that she clearly has never watched an episode of Drag Race. I mean, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ORNACIA? Thankfully for her Kennedy pronounces meme, mimi, which was enough to run distraction.

Trixie pulled BeBe aside to find out why she decided to fuck up the challenge with BeBe continuing to play the line that she did well. Again, she didn’t. Shangela caught up with Kennedy, vowing not to eliminate her, I assume because she loaned her a top. They then plotted who should be eliminated out of BeBe and Morgan, wanting to give the latter a chance to shine and knock the former down a peg or two. Morgan and Trixie caught up, with Morgan acknowledging the other girls have proven themselves while she has only had to do three challenges.

While Trixie gave a killer performance to Ru’s Freaky Money – featured on Gay for Play, praise BenDeLaChrist – there was no competing with Shangela’s obese stripper schtick, who slayed the lip sync and sent Morgan out of the competition again. Eerily completing Aja’s prophecy from the first episode, truly making her Mor-gone.

(Seriously what is with Morgans being cut from reality TV shows this week?)

Morgs may not have made it to the final four, but she looked beautiful on the runway and got to show her softer, kinder side in the werk room and after her elimination. And dare I say it, that is the best way to rehab a bitchy image … take note Phi Phi. Once again, her one episode performance – and it is not just because I love her mumma Chad – was more than worthy of some hearty Morgan McGriddles.

Now I know my hotcakes are way too thin … but when something tastes this good, I expect you to look the other way and accept my failings. I mean, the maple chunks still squirt in your mouth while devouring the ultimate breakfast sandwich. What more could you ask for? Don’t answer that.

Enjoy!

Morgan McGriddles
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ cup maple syrup
1 cup flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
½ tsp salt
2 tbsp butter, melted, plus extra for cooking
½ cup milk
5 egg, 1 whole, 4 scrambled
4 pork sausages, skins removed and shaped into patties
4 slices American cheese

Method
Bring the maple syrup to the boil in a saucepan over medium heat, and cook syrup, stirring constantly, for about ten minutes, or until syrupy, caramelly and thick. Pour onto a lined baking sheet and allow to cool completely and harden. Once set, smash it into small shards and set aside.

Meanwhile combine the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt in a bowl, and whisk the butter, milk and the ‘whole’ egg in a jug. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet while stirring. Continue stirring until a smooth batter forms.

Place a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. When scorching, reduce heat to low and melt a teaspoon of butter. Pour a tablespoon or so of batter into the pan, sprinkle with the maple shards and pour in a further tablespoon. Cook until firm around the edges and bubbles hold their shape on the top. Flip and cook for a further minutes or so. Repeat until you’ve got 8 pancakes.

Melt some more butter in the pan and cook the patties for a couple of minutes each side, or until cooked through. Leave to rest. Add, you guessed it, butter and pour the eggs into the pan and cook until it forms a thin omelette. Flip, remove from heat and cut into quarters.

To make the sandwich, place a pancake on a plate, top with cheese, patties and a piece of egg. Top with remaining pancake, and devour. With or without Slash Browns.

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Rossoles Mathews

Main, Party Food, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, Snack

While I am still shook from the gallant sacrifice of BenDeLaChrist, patron saint of drag and a little bit weary from this year’s Oscar Gold celebration The Goldfather, I am committed to honouring the pre-season of Drag Race 10. Given the Oscars is tantamount to gay Christmas, and the fact he just slayed Celebrity Big Brother, I knew that Ross Mathews was the only person worthy of helping me count down.

Well, this week at least.

As you could have assumed since we’re both gay men in the media with a healthy obsession with reality TV, we’re the best of best friends and have been since meeting in 2000. We were both studying communications at the University of La Verne, and while we started off as staunch enemies on the debating circuit eventually became friends.

Like Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts in Stepmom.

It was such a treat to finally have Ross over for a documented visit particularly after being robbed of the crown on Celebrity Big Brother. We laughed, we cried, we wondered how many seasons it would be before Chenbot could justify Celebrity Big Brother All Stars, who our faves are in the cast of season 10 and most importantly, smashed a plate of Rossoles Mathews.

Now at the risk of sounding like the Kerrigans, there is nothing better than a rissole. And while you may think anyone can make a rissole, not everyone can make them as tasty as this. Sticky, rich, spicy and sweet, these are perfect for brightening up your mid-week dinner rotation.

Enjoy!

Rossoles Mathews
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
1 egg
3 garlic cloves, crushed
½ cup breadcrumbs
2 tbsp chives, roughly chopped
2 tbsp basil leaves, roughly chopped
1 tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste
8 rashers streaky bacon
¼ cup barbecue sauce

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C.

Combine the mince, egg, garlic, breadcrumbs, chives, basil, paprika, chilli and a good whack of salt and pepper in a bowl. Shape into 8 equal sized balls and flatten into a long pattie. Wrap each rissole with a rasher of bacon and place on a lined baking sheet, join-side down.

Brush each with some barbecue sauce and place in the oven to cook for fifteen minutes or so, brushing with barbecue sauce again mid-way through, or until dark, sticky and crisp.

Devour immediately, with mash or salad. But you know you don’t make friends with salad, so …

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BenDeLaCreme Caramel

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Ru sent her handmaidens Chad and Alaska in to the werkroom to collect Chad’s girl Morgan, Thorgy, Milk, Chi Chi and Aja to give them a chance to ruturn for their ruvenge against the queens that dogged them. After a brief fake out that the two bitterest bettys weren’t coming back, we were introduced to their gillead monikers, OfbenDeLaCreme, Ofshangela, Ofkennedy, OfbenDeLaCreme & Ofshangela and the most tragic of all, OfbebeZaharaBenet.

While the handmaidens convened on the mainstage, the remaining queens returned to the werkroom to process Aja’s elimination. While BeBe felt bad about sending her home, she rightfully said that Shangela’s track record was better and therefore she couldn’t send her home. As she is wont to do, Kennedy quickly checked in to find out who Trixie would have eliminated if she had won the lip sync – she too felt Shangela had been performing too well to be eliminated, and Shangela counted her stars that her Khaleesi manoeuvres paid dividends.

The discussion then turned to everyone’s track record, which obviously got Kennedy at her most defensive as hers was by far the worst. Trixie then brought up the other factors that would now have to go into their decisions, like her killer post-show career and the fact BeBe already has a crown.

The next day the queens were visited by Ru who shared that this week’s challenge would require them to audition for his new supergroup The Kitty Girls … with ma’ fuckin’ BABY BUNTON on the panel. Before exiting the werkroom, he announced that they would not be the only band performing this week with the five handmaidens forming their own band. The top two of the winning band would then lip sync for the opportunity to select which eliminated girl would come back to the competition … and which of the top five would drop down to sixth place.

Obviously that pissed of Kennedy.

What followed over the next half hour was probably the most drawma mawma on Drag Race since Laganja appeared. Thorgy questioned why Shangela was upset about being told to suck it and called a fucking bitch. When Trixie tried to diffuse the situation and explain notegate, Thorgy then turned on Trixie, Shangela yelled at Thorgy, Thorgy accused Shangela of being shady by eliminating her and like Milk, I was thankful the table were too heavy otherwise there would have been some drag deaths.

Not to be outdone, Morgan questioned why DeLa eliminated her and as she likes to do, went in leading to Ben completely shutting down. Expect for telling her that she felt Morgan performed worst in the first week, despite what she thinks. Aja was living for the drama, but poor Ben’s eyes were getting glassier and glassier as the Morgan called her a hypocrite.

Aja was far less dramatic, questioning why BeBe couldn’t admit that Aja helped make her dress to the judges. BeBe wasn’t standing for this valid question and had some extreme attitude at poor Aja, cutting her off like she did during the deliberations the week before. Thankfully it fired up Aja, who vowed to send BeBe packing if she wins the challenge. Rounding things out Milk questioned what Kennedy’s criteria was for sending him home. To her credit, Kennedy pretty much laid out that it was personal and then explained how hurt she was when Milk jumped in and said she should have gone instead of Thorgy. This then lead to a breakthrough for Milk, realising that she had kinda been as arsehole throughout the competition. Jinx’s delusion, be gone!

Morgan took the lead of the eliminated group, vowing to go for the jugular. Meanwhile the top five went for the cheerocracy approach to group work, selecting their Kitty Girls. Shangela went for Sparkle Kitty, Kennedy opted to become Diva Kitty, BeBe ignored Trixie’s suggestion to honour her advanced age and instead went for, surprise surprise, Jungle Kitty while BenDeLa wanted to channel her feelings into a depressed kitty character. My heart, so broken.

The eliminated queens were first to record their song with coaching from Adam Lambert, dressed impeccably like a Pink impersonator. Speaking of which, Morgan went first and was super boring as Bimbo Kitty despite some killer lyrics, Aja slayed as LilBanje Kitty, Milk also selected rap as Milky Kitty inspired by her failed performance in Oh No She Betta Don’t, though this thirstier performance seemed likely to flood my basement.

The top five met with Adam where BeBe spoke in a combination of French, gibberish, scat and guttural noises.Trixie was up next as her nymphomaniac mathlete kitty, absolutely slaying her math lyrics though upset Glambert and her helpers with her dry attitude. Is Bob’s spirit channeling her and treating him as Lucien? DeLa went with Goth Kitty to channel her emotions after fighting with Morgan, though sadly Adam rode her the entire time and kick out any remaining confidence she had.

The next day the queens started getting ready for their performances and thankfully Shangela encourage DeLa to use the time to clear the air with Morgan. While it felt like Morgan was going to go for round two, she got everything off her chest and apologised for how she behaved. They then made up, DeLa got her groove back and all was right with the world. Particularly after Milk and Kennedy cleared the air, with Milk wondering who else she has offended with her ego over the years.

On the mainstage the eliminated queens sat on a secret and slayed their performance, with Aja and Milk owning the song. Then the top five arrived and completely dominated, none morso than BenDeLaCreme. Again. And BeBe, who had the judges living for her special brand of wild. Ultimately the top five won the challenge, with Baby Bunton living for Trixie’s Baby inspired I.Q. Kitty while Adam was still smarting from her attitude the day before. Kennedy’s Diva Kitty didn’t go far enough, DeLa received universal praise, the judges loved Shangie’s look though felt she was a bit underwhelming in the performance and BeBe received universal praise too, though once again couldn’t admit who helped her during the challenge – #Justice4TheCountess. As such, Ben and BeBe landed in the top two and given the ultimate power, should they take out the lip sync.

Backstage Kennedy was feeling down since she was the worst of a really strong group, while Ben was really confused about what to base her decision on. Trixie’s advice was not to eliminate her, Kennedy once again went with the I’m not ready to go home line during deliberations, DeLa and Shangela had a love fest, BeBe felt Trixie lost her fire, misreading her confidence in her performance as blase and Kennedy and Ben rounded things out, with Ben deciding that she couldn’t possible eliminate her either. Meaning, she is going to try and eliminate BeBe, I guess?

The eliminated queens then got a chance to plead their case, with all of them focusing on having so much more to give. Well except for Chi Chi who, ever the realist, didn’t want to become the Roxxxy Andrews of All Stars 3. And Morgan was the kindest about DeLa and BeBe’s impending decision, saying no matter what, she will walk out of here with her head held high.

Despite BeBe owning the majority of the lip sync, she poorly executed a wig removal which, as Aja said, was not up to the rose petalled standards of the current reigning, Ms. Sasha Velour. That handed BenDeLaCreme yet another victory, and the opportunity to give Morgan another shot to showcase her skills. It then came time for Shangie, Trixie and Kennedy to receive their fate, which was the gag of the century as BenDeLaChrist sacrificed herself so that the rest of the top five could live. She was proud of her performance and already felt like a winner, and didn’t want to take that feeling away from the other queens. Kennedy, Trixie, Shangie and I were crying, Thorgy felt it was shady, Aja was shocked and Ru implemented an immediate ban on whiteout.

Ben was positively on cloud nine when I met her in the werkroom, thrilled that she didn’t have to eliminate more queens and that someone that truly wants and needs the title will have it. Now Thorgy made that seem like she was saying no one had a chance at beating her – but let’s be honest, they didn’t – but that isn’t how she meant it, just that the title wouldn’t make her feel like a winner. Or at least, that is how she sold it to me over some BenDeLaCreme Caramel.

Like DeLa, these desserts are terminally delightful. Sweet, gentle, smooth and delicate, they’re the perfect end to DeLa’s perfect run. To DeLa!

Enjoy!

BenDaLaCreme Caramel
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ½ cup raw caster sugar
⅓ cup water
1 cup milk
¾ cup cream
2 eggs, plus 4 extra yolks
1 tbsp vanilla extract

Method
Preheat oven to 150°C.

Combine 1 cup sugar with the water in a saucepan over high heat and cook, stirring, until dissolved. Bring to the boil and cook for five minutes or so, or until the syrup is a dark amber colour. Pour into the bottom of 6 ramekins, and set aside until set.

While the caramel is setting, combine the milk and cream in a saucepan and bring to the boil over medium heat. Remove from the heat.

Whisk the eggs and yolks in a bowl with ½ cup raw caster sugar and the vanilla. Still whisking, add the milk and cream until thick and glossy. Strain the custard into the ramekins and place them in a large baking dish and fill the dish up with boiling water to 2cm below the top of the ramekins.

Transfer to the oven and bake for half an hour or so, or until set. Remove to a wire rack to cool for a bit before transferring to the fridge to chill for three hours.

Remove from the fridge half an hour before serving. When you’re ready, dip the ramekins into hot water and turn out until a plate. Then devour.

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BenDeLaCreme Caramel