Shangelato

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race 2, RuPaul's Drag Race 3, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

After participating in the most ambitious – Ru’s words, not mine … but totally correct – final performance challenge ever staged, the final four arrived on the runway to learn that the booted queens, not Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross would decide the final two.

Following BeBe and Kennedy’s turn facing the jury, it was time for dear Shangela … who felt like – of course – Ned Stark, walking up to his death. Running the numbers, things weren’t looking good with three queens on the jury because she sent them there, two that felt they were eliminated too early and then DeLa who eliminated herself yet still had to be in every damn episode anyway and probably regretted quitting.

Chi Chi kicked off the interview by asking how she felt with them deciding who made it to the top two, with Shangela admitting that she was nervous people may hold a grudge. Looking at you, Thorgy! Morgan asked why it was now her time, given it is her third attempt at the crown. She shared about how much she learnt after those seasons and this is her graduation night, much to the delight of Aja and Thorgy. After a halleloo, she bid them adieu with DeLa and Milk’s solemn faces filling me with dread that DeLa’s hat would contribute to Shangela’s red wedding.

Tragically my concerns were well placed as the three-peat only managed one point to progress to the final two, shockingly – and this is the true gag of the season – from the bitterest of Bettys, Thorgy Thor. And with that a fairytale was crushed and Shangela Laquifa Wadley Targaryen Lannister Stark Bo’nina Brown Flowers was robbed of a chance to fight for the crown and finished in third place.

Yes, he killer track record and her growth from first boot, to rootable underdog and finally frontrunner earns her third place outright. In my heart anyway.

While I was flipping out and burning down the Werk Room – why do you think they’re using a new one for season 10? – when she arrived backstage, she was able to calm me down and reiterate that just being there and getting Ru’s approval felt like a graduation. With that, the lovely second alternate – to quote her mama, Alyssa – held me tight and we split a tub of Shangelato while I sobbed silently.

A little salty, a whole lot sweet and velvety smooth, this is the best way to wash the bitter taste of her loss out of your mouth. Side note: enough with the twists Ru, this isn’t Survivor and the best woman should always win.

Enjoy!

Shangelato
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
600ml double cream
375g condensed milk
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup JL Salkeld Caramel … or Dulce de Nick Lachey and 1 tsp sea salt

Method
Combine the double cream, condensed milk, vanilla extract and caramel in the bowl of a stand mixer, and whisk on low until soft peaks form.

Transfer to a container and freeze overnight.

The next day, remove it from the freezer and devour to consume your heartache.

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BeBe Za’atara Lambet

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race 1, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Morgan returned to the competition following BenDeLaChrist’s sacrifice to join the remaining queens in a raunchy, Awards Season rom-com. Despite not getting the role she desired, Trixie stole the show while Shangie was Shangie and brought the house down, while BeBe was the epitome of beige and Morgan was awks. After Shangela murdered Trixie in the lip sync, poor Morgan was put out of her misery and out of the competition for the second time this season.

The final four returned to the werk room to celebrate their achievements before BeBe immediately hit up Trixie to find out who she would have eliminated, despite the fact BeBe refused to spill the week before. Thankfully Trixie threw an oak tree’s worth of shade at BeBe to the delight of Kennedy and Shangela – out of respect for Morgan, of course – before admitting that she too would have sent Morgan home. Shangela was overjoyed to have come full circle, from first boot to finalist, though posed the question, who was about to Showgirls her (aka the frontrunner)? And while Kennedy and BeBe were quick to admit they would, it filled me with dread that this fairytale may not end happily for our obese stripper.

Trixie on the other hand was fairly confident the future Nomi’s were going to get the chop before the final lip sync. And bless BeBe, she thought she would fit in in the hall of fame.

The next day Ru arrived to introduce the final challenge, writing, singing and dancing in the most ambitious production number in drag race herstory. Obviously that made Kennedy feel far more confident, while BeBe and Trixie looked nervous. Until Ru mentioned Todrick, after which they were all nervous. To pile on the drama and intrigue, Ru then announced that the eliminated queens would be returning once again, making Shangela ask what we’re all thinking – why doesn’t Ru lock the damn door?

Ru left them with the ominous threat that the eliminated queens would play a role in the deliberations. This obviously sent the final four into a tailspin, with Trixie floating the spy-intell role, Shangela – like the episode title suggests – thinks they will be a jury and vote for the winner while BeBe thinks they and her remaining competitors will continue to perform backup for her.

The queens arrived to learn Todrick’s choreography where Trixie feared her thirst would get the best of her after being assigned the hottest – and I use that term loosely – dance partner. BeBe feared the extreme heights of jumping into a man’s arms and completely bombed the entire rehearsal and Todrick was annoyed by the fact they weren’t all committing to the routine. He then separated Trixie from the man making her dehydrated in all the ways and took the final four out the back and dropped the bomb that the entire thing will be performed and shot live, in one take. Filling Shangela and Trixie with joy at the prospect for destroying Read You, Wrote You, and BeBe looked like she saw the ghost of the lipsticks she refused to show the girls last episode.

Coronation Day arrived with Shangela still feeling giddy about how far she has come and Trixie spent time perfecting her dance moves before bringing up the ruruturn of the eliminated queens. While the queens expected animosity, they hoped it wouldn’t be as bad as the roast they received the first time they returned. BeBe then asked the remaining queens if they knew they would make the top four, with Trixie admitting she had doubts after Snatch Game, BeBe felt that she has the best track record and therefore wasn’t concerned.

Despite Roxxxy-ing her way to the final four, Kennedy absolutely slayed the live performance with her energy while Shangie and Trixie’s verses were near perfection and worthy of a crown but while BeBe’s verse was good, her dancing struggled and the OG winner was a distant fourth place. On the runway, BeBe dressed as a Big Cat, Kennedy coloured with all the colours of the rainbow, Shangela came ready to claim her crown and Trixie served sexy poodle.

With the runway complete, Ru confirmed Shangie’s suspicions and announced that following critiques they would return to the werk room with the eliminated queens who would then cast their vote to decide which All Stars will move on to the top two. While Trixie looked ok with the fact it was becoming RuPaul’s best friend race, Shangela looked like she was about to throw up, Kennedy was pissed and BeBe, of course, looked confident.

Despite bombing the performance BeBe received praise for her track record and for being brave enough to come back and defend her crown. Kennedy’s killer performance was well received and Shangela received universal praise for slaying the season with even Michelle admitting how proud she was of Shangie’s growth from season 2. While the judges acknowledged Trixie struggled at the start of the season, her growth was praised as was the fact she hit her strides at exactly the right moment. Ru then dismissed them all to face the jury and Michelle looked as anxious as I feel.

BeBe was up first and knew that none of the girls were feeling she deserved a second title. She tried to sell herself as an immigrant that had to fight each day to Aja as her point of difference to potential fellow Hall of Famers Chad and Alaska. Thorgy then tried to wrangle who she would have eliminated and ruturned to the competition out of her, with her lying that everyone was content with her not doing that despite Morgan being there and knowing it was a bold faced lie. Surprisingly she stood her ground and refused to tell them which lipsticks she had before DeLa went to town with the Wite Out, telling them if that is their reason for eliminating her, so be it. While she felt it was pointless and they had already made up their minds, the eliminated queens just wanted her to speak to them like sisters and give genuine answers rather than treating it like a pageant.

As such, she only managed to receive two points to move to the final two from Morgan McMichaels landing her in fourth place. Well technically tied for third … but that is something I’ll get to next.

Now I know I have been hard on the OG BeBe the last few weeks but if anyone should have been owning the competition like DeLa, it is the first winner to ruturn to the competition. That being said, she did well throughout the entire competition and if nothing else, got to showcase her talents to a larger audience without the horror of being filmed through an inch of Vaseline. As such, I pulled her into my arms backstage, condragulated her on a job well done and made her join me for a big ol’ roast BeBe Za’atara Lambet.

Despite it being of middle eastern origins, this meal is fit for the Queen of Africa. Spiced, rich and fresh, it is the best rack I’ve seen all week. No shade to the queens, obvi.

Enjoy!

BeBe Za’atara Lambet
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 lamb racks
3 tbsp za’ atar
1 cauliflower, cut into florets
1 tbsp ground cumin
½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp chilli
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C.

Place the lamb racks on lined baking sheet and press the za’atar into the meat. Place the cauliflower on another lined baking sheet and sprinkle with cumin, cinnamon, chilli and salt and pepper, and toss to coat. Drizzle olive oil over the lamb and cauliflower, toss to coat again, and place both in the oven to bake for half an hour or so.

Remove the lamb from the oven, cover with foil and allow to rest for fifteen minutes while the cauliflower crisps up.

Cut the lamb into racks and serve on a bed of cauliflower before devouring, greedily.

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Tyra Sanchez Bow

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 2, Snack, Street Food

After exhausting the remainder of season 10’s judges table with Carson and Ross over the last couple of weeks, I decided it was time to return to winner’s circle. And since BeBe is currently in competition – and I know following the allegedly deceased Morgan’s second recipe will piss her off – I reached out to the other Tyra (Sanchez, FYI) to help me countdown.

I know Tyra has said and done some horrific things, and is feuding with 90% of her fellow drag race queens – shout out to Tatianna and Raja – but against all odds, we’ve remained friends. If for no other reason that garbage people have to stick together.

Plus – we’ve known each other for years.

I first met Tyra when I was scouting out all the Beyonce impersonators for the Queen Bey. If they were terrible, I ended their careers and if they were decent, they were allowed to continue. And in the other Tyra’s case, flourish.

There were less than five minutes between her arrival and us getting into a screaming match. I couldn’t tell you what it was about, but it was brutal, petty and continued until I served up a Tyra Sanchez Bow, after which all our issues disappeared and our friendship renewed.

Fiery, packing a punch and strangely beautiful, this baby is the personification of Tyra. Though don’t tell her that. Maybe just lie and tell her it is delicious because she is delicious. I don’t want my death erroneously announced. Like Morgan.

Enjoy!

Tyra Sanchez Bow
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp sesame oil
500g beef mince
5 garlic cloves diced
1 tsp freshly grated ginger
1 cup mushrooms, sliced
¼ cup soy sauce
3 tbsp oyster sauce
3 tbsp kecap manis
1 tbsp sriracha
2 chilli, roughly chopped
4 iceberg lettuce leaves
2 carrots, cut into batons
3 shallots, finely sliced
¼ red cabbage, finely sliced
mint, to serve
toasted sesame seeds, to serve

Method
Heat the oil in a large skillet over high heat and cook the mince for five minutes, breaking up with a wooden spoon as you go. Add the garlic, ginger and mushrooms and cook for a further couple of minutes. Add the soy and oyster sauces, kecap manis, sriracha and chilli and toss to coat.

To serve, place the lettuce cups on a plate, top with the mince mixture, sprinkle over carrots, spring onions, cabbage, mint and sesame seeds. Then devour, immediately.

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Morgan McGriddles

Breakfast, Burgers, RuPaul's Drag Race, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the top five were tasked with auditioning for Ru’s new girl group the Kitty Girls … against the five previously eliminated queens. Gasp. Sadly for the eliminees, the top five wiped the floor with them, none more so than DeLa and (apparently) BeBe who lip synced for the chance to eliminate one of their fellow top fivers and bring back Morgan, Thorgy, Milk, Chi Chi or Aja. DeLa won yet again, bringing Morgan back to the competition before pulling off the gag of the century AND ELIMINATING HERSELF FROM THE COMPETITION.

Needless to say the new top five were pretty shook when they returned to the werkroom. Trixie couldn’t believe she opted out Geri style in front of Baby Bunton, no doubt concerned about it triggering some PTSD (Viva Forever, Baby). Morgan wasn’t sure whether she was more shocked about being chosen to return, or the fact DeLa kinda wasted a spot of another alumni who would have fought hard for the crown. While they agreed she hated pulling lipsticks, Kennedy wasn’t down for her quit. Obviously.

Thankfully Trixie put it best, saying that now that their front runner has gone, they’re the pretty girls at prom and their chances of winning just skyrocketed. Well, except for Kennedy and Morgan TBH.

The queens checked in to see how Morgan was going … before BeBe got hella shady and refused to show anyone who she was planning to eliminate or bring back. Shangelarys Targaryen just found her Cersei, and she ain’t happy.

Ru dropped by the werkroom with Queen Nancy Pelosi who is a delightful fucking icon and I love her. After reminding everyone to vote, Ru tasked her with werking before handing the queens their next task – playing Oscar winning roles in a raunchy comedy. Morgan’s welcome back gift was to cast the roles, giving Sharon Frockovich to Trixie, The Queen to BeBe, Actavia to Shangela, The Beige Swan to herself and La La to Kennedy, much to Trixie chagrin, who wanted one of the latter two.

The queens met with Ross who coached them through overacting during filming. Shangela obviously slayed her poo-pie making role, while BeBe assumed she was the queen that inspired The Queen, while Trixie thankfully discovered her role was a true gift hamming it up to Ross’ delight. Kennedy was then too much, and Morgan was mute … and then hissed at everyone.

We flashed forward to elimination day where Trixie discovered she suffers from my problem, being so sarcastic that people assume she is an asshole (RIP the Big and the Milky). Morgan however flagged that sometimes people do think she thinks a little highly of herself. Shangie called out BeBe for being bougie, looking down her nose at other queens. Morgan talked about loving to share the stage with her fellow sisters, poor Kennedy spoke about wanting to be people’s first choice rather than an afterthought.

On the runway, BeBe and Kennedy exchanged looks with BeBe covered in rhinestones and Kennedy bringing full glamazon. Morgan went full Scot, Shangela was horny and Trixie slayed them all, dressed as the sexiest librarian complete with a stack of books on her head to help reading for filth. Ru then gave a screening of their films trailer, where Trixie and Shangela owned the screen while the other three floundered. At best.

BeBe was praised for her runway, though destroyed for her acting. Shangela and Trixie deservedly universal praise, Kennedy was meh and Morgan was praised for her runway before being destroyed for her performance as The Beige Swan.

Trixie and Shangela obviously took out victory, giving them the opportunity to grill the bottom 3 and make them sweat. BeBe felt she did well in the challenge – spoiler, she didn’t – and that her track record should be enough to keep herself safe … before letting slip that she clearly has never watched an episode of Drag Race. I mean, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ORNACIA? Thankfully for her Kennedy pronounces meme, mimi, which was enough to run distraction.

Trixie pulled BeBe aside to find out why she decided to fuck up the challenge with BeBe continuing to play the line that she did well. Again, she didn’t. Shangela caught up with Kennedy, vowing not to eliminate her, I assume because she loaned her a top. They then plotted who should be eliminated out of BeBe and Morgan, wanting to give the latter a chance to shine and knock the former down a peg or two. Morgan and Trixie caught up, with Morgan acknowledging the other girls have proven themselves while she has only had to do three challenges.

While Trixie gave a killer performance to Ru’s Freaky Money – featured on Gay for Play, praise BenDeLaChrist – there was no competing with Shangela’s obese stripper schtick, who slayed the lip sync and sent Morgan out of the competition again. Eerily completing Aja’s prophecy from the first episode, truly making her Mor-gone.

(Seriously what is with Morgans being cut from reality TV shows this week?)

Morgs may not have made it to the final four, but she looked beautiful on the runway and got to show her softer, kinder side in the werk room and after her elimination. And dare I say it, that is the best way to rehab a bitchy image … take note Phi Phi. Once again, her one episode performance – and it is not just because I love her mumma Chad – was more than worthy of some hearty Morgan McGriddles.

Now I know my hotcakes are way too thin … but when something tastes this good, I expect you to look the other way and accept my failings. I mean, the maple chunks still squirt in your mouth while devouring the ultimate breakfast sandwich. What more could you ask for? Don’t answer that.

Enjoy!

Morgan McGriddles
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ cup maple syrup
1 cup flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
½ tsp salt
2 tbsp butter, melted, plus extra for cooking
½ cup milk
5 egg, 1 whole, 4 scrambled
4 pork sausages, skins removed and shaped into patties
4 slices American cheese

Method
Bring the maple syrup to the boil in a saucepan over medium heat, and cook syrup, stirring constantly, for about ten minutes, or until syrupy, caramelly and thick. Pour onto a lined baking sheet and allow to cool completely and harden. Once set, smash it into small shards and set aside.

Meanwhile combine the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt in a bowl, and whisk the butter, milk and the ‘whole’ egg in a jug. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet while stirring. Continue stirring until a smooth batter forms.

Place a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. When scorching, reduce heat to low and melt a teaspoon of butter. Pour a tablespoon or so of batter into the pan, sprinkle with the maple shards and pour in a further tablespoon. Cook until firm around the edges and bubbles hold their shape on the top. Flip and cook for a further minutes or so. Repeat until you’ve got 8 pancakes.

Melt some more butter in the pan and cook the patties for a couple of minutes each side, or until cooked through. Leave to rest. Add, you guessed it, butter and pour the eggs into the pan and cook until it forms a thin omelette. Flip, remove from heat and cut into quarters.

To make the sandwich, place a pancake on a plate, top with cheese, patties and a piece of egg. Top with remaining pancake, and devour. With or without Slash Browns.

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Rossoles Mathews

Main, Party Food, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, Snack

While I am still shook from the gallant sacrifice of BenDeLaChrist, patron saint of drag and a little bit weary from this year’s Oscar Gold celebration The Goldfather, I am committed to honouring the pre-season of Drag Race 10. Given the Oscars is tantamount to gay Christmas, and the fact he just slayed Celebrity Big Brother, I knew that Ross Mathews was the only person worthy of helping me count down.

Well, this week at least.

As you could have assumed since we’re both gay men in the media with a healthy obsession with reality TV, we’re the best of best friends and have been since meeting in 2000. We were both studying communications at the University of La Verne, and while we started off as staunch enemies on the debating circuit eventually became friends.

Like Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts in Stepmom.

It was such a treat to finally have Ross over for a documented visit particularly after being robbed of the crown on Celebrity Big Brother. We laughed, we cried, we wondered how many seasons it would be before Chenbot could justify Celebrity Big Brother All Stars, who our faves are in the cast of season 10 and most importantly, smashed a plate of Rossoles Mathews.

Now at the risk of sounding like the Kerrigans, there is nothing better than a rissole. And while you may think anyone can make a rissole, not everyone can make them as tasty as this. Sticky, rich, spicy and sweet, these are perfect for brightening up your mid-week dinner rotation.

Enjoy!

Rossoles Mathews
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
1 egg
3 garlic cloves, crushed
½ cup breadcrumbs
2 tbsp chives, roughly chopped
2 tbsp basil leaves, roughly chopped
1 tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste
8 rashers streaky bacon
¼ cup barbecue sauce

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C.

Combine the mince, egg, garlic, breadcrumbs, chives, basil, paprika, chilli and a good whack of salt and pepper in a bowl. Shape into 8 equal sized balls and flatten into a long pattie. Wrap each rissole with a rasher of bacon and place on a lined baking sheet, join-side down.

Brush each with some barbecue sauce and place in the oven to cook for fifteen minutes or so, brushing with barbecue sauce again mid-way through, or until dark, sticky and crisp.

Devour immediately, with mash or salad. But you know you don’t make friends with salad, so …

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Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies

Baking, Main, Party Food, Pie, RuPaul's Drag Race, Snack, Street Food

I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t we just farewell Aja on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars? Well yes, the answer is yes, but the gay gods have decided to shine upon us all and we’re rolling straight from All Stars into regular Drag Race season 10.

While the cynic inside me – don’t worry, he is lovely and bought me a cask of wine first – has got me thinking, what sort of tomfoolery is about to go down for them to bury the latest inductee into the hall of fame … I’m going to be hopeful. Hopeful that this is the first step into the next phase of the gay agenda. Which is real, and is dominant.

Anywho, I ummed and ahhed whether I should be counting down to season 20, when the last four episodes of All Stars are kind of serving that purpose. Ultimately, obviously, I decided the newest batch of queens deserve the full Fame Hungry treatment, so gave Carson a call to see if he could drop by to catch-up and gossip.

Obviously I came into contact in the mid-noughties, while working together on the OG Queer Eye. Before you even say it, no I was not cooking the food for Ted like people are for Antoni, ok? Anyway … I was brought in by Bravo to keep costs down, so accompanied Carson on the fashion portion to get us discounts.

While it ended in some jail time for me after I decided five finger was my fave discount, Carson was loyal and has stuck by me ever since. Fun fact: to repay his loyalty, I convinced Ru and Michelle to give him the job on Drag Race.

Anyway, we ignored the two elephants in the room – BeBe should have mentioned Aja helped her make her dress and Ross dominating Celebrity Big BROTHERRRRRRR – and got to work chatting about season 10 and how it will be the best ever. There is so much intel we wanted to share, I quickly had to get to work whipping up some Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies to fill our gobs.

I make no secret of my love of pies and these babies are probably one of my favourites. I mean, meat and cheese shoved inside some pillowy dough? Be still my throbbing … heart.

Enjoy!

Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
2 celery sticks, thinly sliced
1 carrot, peeled and grated
200g bacon, diced, plus extra, fried, to top
3 garlic cloves, minced
600g beef mince
400g diced tomatoes
3 tbsp tomato paste
3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 cup vintage cheddar, grated
2 sheets shortcrust pastry
2 sheets puff pastry
1 egg, lightly whisked
mashed potato, gravy and/or chips, to taste

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Heat a lug of oil in a large pan over medium heat. Sweat the onion for a couple of minutes before adding the celery, carrot, bacon and garlic, and cooking for a further five minutes. for 5 mins or until softened. Add the mince and cook, breaking up with a spoon while cooking until the mince is browned. Add the tomatoes, paste, Worcestershire and muscovado sugar, and bring to the boil. When bubbling, reduce to low and simmer for twenty minutes or so, or until the sauce has reduced. Set aside and allow to cool.

To assemble, start by stirring most of the cheese through the mixture. Cut each sheet of shortcrust pastry in quarters and press into 8 individual pie dishes. Divide the mixture amongst the dishes and smooth the tops. Cut the puff pastry into quarters and press into the top of the pies, crimping the edges to seal. Pierce a hole in the top, brush with the whisked egg and transfer to a baking sheet.

Transfer to the oven and bake for half an hour, or until golden and crisp. Remove and sprinkle with some of the extra bacon and cheese, and cook for a further couple of minutes.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool for five minutes. Then devour – with or without mashed potato and gravy or ships – being careful not to burn the inside of your mouth on the molten hot filling.

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A’ja

RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 9, Side, Snack, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the queens were joined by the ultimate queen Kristin Chenoweth for this season’s Snatch Game. While BenDeLaCreme and Shangie continued their dominance, Trixie’s RuPaul fell flat and Chi Chi introduced Maya Angelou’s little sister Mya to the world. In the werkroom, Shangie and Trixie had some capital-D drama after Shangela found a hate note from Thorgy in Trixie’s station … making it the ultimate gag that Shangie joined Ben in saving Trixie and sending Chi Chi out of the competition.

Back in the werkroom Trixie was in complete shock after Shangela saved her, despite making it sound like she was giving her the axe. After vowing to move forward and get closer, DeLa spoke about her logic behind eliminating people based on their track record. Shangela felt that wasn’t going to be the way it goes down, Kennedy was grumpy about something and Trixie advised they all just keep the mirror messages polite. Looking at you Milk and Thorgy.

Ru dropped by the next day, in full Warhol regalia to announce this week’s challenge – the Warhol Ball! Which means sewing … which means Shangie is hella screwed. Before that, Ru gave the girls a mini-challenge to create a Warhol image in quick drag. While I’d like to say it was close, it wasn’t … as Aja slayed her portrait and the rest of the queens.

The Warhol Ball required the queens to each design a wearable soup can inspired by their charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent. While their second outfit needed to be a Studio 54 inspired disco look. Trixie was feeling super confident about the challenge, given her ability to sew and killer mind for branding. Aja was planning to do a candy soup, while BeBe was inspired by sneezing.

Despite not knowing how to use a sewing machine, DeLa was confident a hot glue gun could hand her another design challenge win. The true gag of the season however was finding out that BeBe was like Shangie and DeLa and couldn’t sew, enlisting the services of Aja to sew the base of her outfit. Proving their friendship was moving forward, Trixie tried to help Shangela work the sewing machine … until they discovered Shangie’s true weakness was her inability to identify stretchy fabrics.

The next day Aja was feeling confident, finally getting some recognition for being stylish. Given she is a millennial, Kennedy was pissed off and didn’t want to hear it. Thankfully her anger was cut short as Shangela polled the room about how the confident girls would eliminate the bottom queens, I assume to check if there was any hope for her. DeLa came up with an equation to try and make it fair with people’s track records, which brought grumpy Kennedy back out as she railed against DeLa’s opinion. Likely because she has the worst track record of the remaining queens.

Trixie owned the soup portion of the ball, with Ben not far behind. For the disco looks, Aja continued her looking flawless. Shangela, well, fell hard, Trixie was perfection, Kennedy looked full disco queen, BeBe looked gorgeous in Aja’s gown and DeLa looked good, but was overshadowed by her amazing voiceover.

During judging, Aja was read for filth – despite having one of the best looks IMO – for not having a soup that reflected her persona and not researching the era, even though it looked ‘70s to me. Shangie’s soup was praised, though her outfit was rightfully torn to shreds. Trixie was rightfully lavished in praise, and thanked for finally waking up ala Pearl. Kennedy’s soup was a shoot, but her look was a boot. BeBe also received universal praise while denying the fact Aja helped at all and poor DeLa was given lukewarm praise for just giving 100% this week. Ultimately Trixie and BeBe took out the challenge, while DeLa was just safe for the first time along with grumpelstiltskin, leaving poor Aja in the bottom with Shangela.

Backstage Trixie was stripping off while kicking off the one on one’s with Aja, who spoke about the fact she was going for high fashion disco. While Trixie agreed that she was one of the most beautiful, the judges hated it and her soup was mis-branded, adding to her confusion. Meanwhile BeBe was debating whether to reward Shangie’s track-record or Aja’s killer growth between seasons. After a brief interlude of Ben and Kennedy talking about the challenge owning the former, in the latter’s grumpy opinion, we were treated to Trixie and Shangie’s one on one where Trixie was feeling Shangie shouldn’t be expecting her to save her, just because of last week though conceded she has knocked it out of the park, week after week and wasn’t sure she should eliminate her for glue a record to her head. On the flipside, BeBe gave Aja a pep talk which sounded like she should have used the time to back her bags if BeBe wins, pushing Aja to tears.

While Trixie completely dominated the lip sync, it was to Diana Ross meaning BeBe had the upper hand. With her parlaying that hand into victory and sending Aja out of the competition, I assume to keep the secret that she helped BeBe make the outfit. Thankfully … she may not be down for long, as Ru’s Kitty Girls Chad and Alaska brought three eliminated queens back to get their revenge.

Was one of them Aja, though? That you’ll have to wait and see … but you can always enjoy some a’jas while you wait.

I had no idea what the hell a’jas were until Ottolenghi, after which I fell deeply in love with these perfect little bread fritters. Then I tinkered with his recipe and made then even better, if I do say so myself.

Enjoy!

A’ja
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
8 bread slices, crusts removed
6 eggs, whisked
1 ½ tsp ground cumin
½ tsp sweet paprika
¼ cup chives, chopped
¼ cup flat-leaf parsley, chopped
2 tbsp tarragon, chopped
100g feta cheese, crumbled
1 tbsp chilli flakes
zest of a lemon
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil, for frying

Method
Soak the bread in water for a couple of minutes before squeezing as much liquid out as possible. Roughly chop the mush and transfer to a bowl. Add the eggs, spices, herbs, feta, chilli, zest and a good whack of salt and pepper, and stir well to combine.

Heat a lug of oil in a skillet and add about half a cup of mixture into the pan and flatten to form a fritter. Cook for a couple of minutes, flip and cook for a further couple of minutes. Remove from the pan and repeat until the batter is done.

Devour immediately, filled with glee.

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Milk Duds

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 6, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the remaining queens performed a VH1 Divas live to RuPaul where Shangel(l)a slayed, Kennedy and Thorgy missed the mark and Milk broke down over only being classed as safe. Once again Ben won the challenge, this time with Shangie who skipped her way to victory and ultimately sent Thorgy Thor from the competition. Ugh, gross.

Back in the werkroom the queens were disgusted and/or aroused to see Thorgy’s farewell boner. While Milk came to her fellow clown queen’s defense, Kennedy was well pissed and felt it was inappropriate. Before wigs started flying, the queens sat down to discover that BenDeLa would have also sent Thorgy home. She then danced around her logic, pissing Shangie off for dancing around. Thankfully that discussion kicked off more drama between Shangie and Milk, the latter of which would have sent home Kennedy … needlessly angering a killer lip syncer, which is kind of a stupid move, no?

The next day the queens returned to the werkroom where Ben and ChiChi hugged in a way that misted my basements, before Ru arrived to announce this week’s challenge. The queens would be paired up to improv their way through hit reality show The Bitchleor. Aja and Kennedy were paired up as the needy and party girls, Trixie was cast as the fake bitch with Milk tagging along as a stalker. DeLa got to play a cougar opposite BeBe’s virgin, with Shangie and ChiChi cast as a polyamorous couple.

BeBe was confident in her African Princess character, while DeLa was kind of nervous about the entire thing. Aja planned to channel Farrah Moan, which made Kennedy nervous as she wasn’t sure Aja knew what the word needy meant. My girl Milk was living for her stalker role, as that is how both she and I secured our mans. And well, ChiChi was on a street of struggle and started to go back to her insecure season 8 roots.

Ru and Michelle arrived on set with the bitchelor himself, Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, to meet the queens. BeBe was far funnier than BenDeLa expected, BenDeLa was the creepiest cougar to ever grace the planet, Trixie was perfection, Milk was intense, Aja truly was Farrah, Kennedy brought literally all, of, IT, Shangie was a sexual dominatrix and ChiChi seemed to be missing the point of her character. Or maybe that was her character?

On the two-on-one dates, DeLa continued to dominate by deepthroating bananas and feed Jeffrey like Alicia Silverstone does her kids. BeBe on the flipside, was kind of just there. Milk continued to be super intense, while Trixie was super hilarious … whenever she had a chance to talk, given Milk just wouldn’t stop. Farrah and Kennedy got Jeffrey shirtless – praise – before Kennedy pulled liquor out of her boobs and undies, and Kennedy continued to steal the show while Aja tried desperately to stop herself from laughing. Miss Milk needs to hope she isn’t in the bottom, otherwise Kennedy is going to take her out because she CAN NOT lose. Shangie and Cheech wrapped up the dates with a spa bath where Shangie floated and ChiChi was lucky not to drown.

This week’s runway was inspired by Roxxxy Andrews – no, it wasn’t a waiting for the bus runway … it was a wig reveal runway! ChiChi was feeling out of her depth as she prepared, knowing she bombed the challenge. Trixie was desperate to get her first win and finally have a star moment on the show. Ben, Milk and Shangela started to bring the shade, discussing who deserved to be in the bottom three. Ben thought Aja, ChiChi and BeBe would round out the bottom, while Shangie told them she agreed on two and thought that Aja or Milk would be the third. To Milk, who was still wearing Jinx’s delusion and felt she would win. I love you, but safe maybe, but not the top girl.

On the other side of the room, Kennedy, Chi Chi and Aja were talking about the previous days drama with Kennedy talking about how rude Milk was. Which yeah, ain’t looking good for the Big and Milky.

Kennedy, Trixie and Aja owned the runway, Milk went back to her clown roots, ChiChi was a beautiful Cher, DeLa channeled Michelle and Shangela followed the journey of the ultimate cinema snack, popcorn. Shangela and BeBe ended up being safe before DeLa – once again – received universal praise, Trixie finally got glowing reviews, despite being smothered by Milk. Speaking of whom, got praise for her look despite the cup holding the hair being visible and was torn to shreds for her domineering performance. Aja’s killer look was beloved, before being read for not understanding the character … though she didn’t know the definition of needy, so I will let it slide. Kennedy received far and away the best praise, rightfully so, before ChiChi was praised for her runway performance, despite her horrid performance.

Once again BenDeLa won the challenge, this time with the on-point Kennedy, while Milk, Aja and Chi x 2 landed in the bottom. Backstage Trixie was disappointed to not get a win, though decided to avoid crying about it. Milk on the other hand, was once again in tears to land in the bottom three before Kennedy announced that she would not require one on ones to decide who to eliminate. Ben praised Aja’s performance in the competition thus far, ChiChi was questioning whether she was even an All Star and Milk was heartbroken but felt DeLa would reward her track record, while the other girls spoke about how she ruined Trixie’s shot at getting her first win. She then finished her conversation with Ben by saying the judges wanted her here, which came off a bit threatening.

Both DeLa and Kennedy played the lip sync seriously, though once Kennedy removed her coat to reveal a sequined gown … before yet another wig reveal, there was no question Kennedy was winning the lip sync. And much to only Milk’s shock, that meant my dear friend Milk found herself out of the competition.

While she was heartbroken to have found herself out of the competition, Milk was thrilled to see her best friend waiting in the wings to provide her culinary comfort. And begged me to stay with her as long as needed … thus last year’s masterful date to throw you off the scent of her casting. Given she had soured, I thought it best to steer clear of a Choccy Milk, and instead made her some sweet Milk Duds to dull her post-boot pain.

Super sweet with an awesome mouth feel – aka texture – this is the Milk I know and love. And I’m going to keep drowning myself in delusion and pretend the drama was all a ploy to stay longer, since it work for G-G-Gia in her OG season.

Enjoy!

Milk Duds
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 ½ cup raw caster sugar
pinch of kosher salt
¾ cup double cream
200g milk chocolate

Method
Combine the sugar and salt with half a cup of water in a saucepan over medium heat, whisking until dissolved. Once boiling, stop stirring – well if you can, you know I can’t – reduce heat and simmer until it is a dark honey colour. About five to ten minutes. Add the cream while whisking – be careful, it will spit – and continue cooking until it comes to 130°C on a candy thermometer. Pour into a lined slice dish, cover and allow to set for a couple of hours.

Once set, cut the caramel into candy sized pieces … completely ignoring the shape a milk dud should be. Melt the chocolate in a microwave, dip the caramels in the chocolate and place on a lined baking sheet to set.

Devour, through your non-safe tears.

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Thorgy Choripán

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, nine former losers ru-turned for their ru-demption against the OG queen BeBe Zahara Benet. She was looking for rudemption from the season 1 filter, amirite? They were then put through their paces with an All Stars variety show where BenDeLaCreme, Aja and Thorgy shined, while Milk, Chi Chi DeVayne and Morgan struggled. Tragically season 2 – Shangela counts for season 3, ok? – did not come through this time, with Morgan getting the axe from BenDeLaCreme for vowing to eliminate strategically. Which is kind of a strategic elimination.

After Morgan’s elimination where Ben was feeling hella shitty, starting to cry and downplaying the victory. This didn’t fly well with the queens, with Shangela and Thorgy thinking she was playing it up. Chi Chi thanked her for saving her and vowed to show Ben that it was the right decision. Awkwardly, Aja did not agree … revealing that had she won the lip sync, Chi Chi would have sashayed away.

In any event, Shangela had vowed to go all Khaaleesi on their arses, becoming the mother drag queens and snatching the throne.

The next day the queens returned to the werkroom where the girls got down to celebrating their skills in the talent show. Well, except for Chi Chi, who felt Milk was pretty beige and wasn’t showing much talent. Well beyond velcro, as Trixie put it. The discussion was interrupted by Ru, who dropped by to announce this week’s challenge – a lip sync extravaganza, a VH1 Diva’s Live tribute to the one, the only, RuPaul!

Milk got my dear friend cirque du Celine, Kennedy was tasked with Janet Jackson, Aja was given Amy Winehouse, Chi Chi would be Patti LaBelle, Trixie – obvs – got my girl Dolly, Shangela was going to be Mariah Carey, Thorgy got Stevie Nicks, Julie Andrews would be played by BenDeLaCreme while BeBe was given the queen of the divas and my heart, Diana Ross. To make it even more difficult, the runway would offer everyone rudemption by redoing one of their worst outfits from their OG season. Meaning BeBe will come as a filter and Shangie will wear 90% of her former outfits.

The queens broke away in the werkroom to listen to their songs and learn the lyrics, where Thorgy noticed that she had the smallest part and it wasn’t very funny. While she didn’t want to seem like a crazy flat-earther, she felt the part was setting her up to fail … which Shangela tried to deny. But where is the lie though? I mean, was Katya meant to knock Diana out of the park in Mall Stars 2?

On the flipside, Milk was thrilled with his role and would be wearing her outfit from the Met Gala instead of a backward suit. He didn’t feel it mattered though, as a friend of her uncle’s sister’s brother’s driver saw him perform Celine and loved it.

Todrick made his triumphant(?) return to All Stars to choreograph the show, where Shangie as Mariah was obvi late for the rehearsals. Todrick started with Kennedy, who was struggling with the choreo, pissing off Todrick. Thorgy was too much of a Stevie purist, stripping out most of Todrick’s choreography. Shangela’s method acting started to drive the queens mental, particular Milk who was well and truly over it. Thankfully Milk wasn’t the only one being shady, with Todrick getting into BeBe’s head about Ru living for Diana Ross and getting Ben to drink some swag juice, which sounds all fifty shades of Weinstein. By the time it got to Chi Chi’s rehearsal, Thorgy realised that literally everyone had been utilised in everyone else’s performance, leading to Thorgy demanding another appearance.

On show day, the queens spoke about their rudemption outfits with Shangela sharing that her outfit was judged by Vanessa Williams … who was once again judging this week. Talk turned to how difficult the choreography was – and I assume how lowkey scary Todrick is – and how they were perceived in their OG seasons. Kennedy was unaware of her resting bitch-face, Trixie felt she was talentless and Thorgy admitted that she was obsessed with Bob.

It was finally time for the Diva’s tribute where Milk was a solid Ariana Grande as Celine back-up, Kennedy got off on the wrong foot – literally – and never really seemed to get into it, Aja was eerily like Amy, Chi Chi served IT as Patti and Trixie was wonderful as Trixie soz, Dolly. Then Shangela arrived and brought the house down as Mariah, though given she had the best script by FAR, you’d hope she did. Thorgy did a strong Stevie … but I found myself watching Milk in the background, doing his homage to Celine getting caught in her heel. Ben was also amazing, though once again, had one of the better scripts. BeBe was the last to go and was a killer Di.

On the runway, Milk redid his glamourous number though looked more like the Tony’s runway after giving birth. Aja had Princess Disastah glow the fuck up, Chi Chi redid her neon runway by borrowing Bob’s neon look, Trixie looked like Baby Jane, Kennedy uopdated her death becomes her look before crystalising into a glamazon and Thorgy too decided to fix her neon look, looking like a Power Rangers villain. DeLa updated his dripping with jewels look, which looked pretty great anyway, BeBe fixed her entrance look and Shangela slayed by redoing her Christmas look, WALKING THE RUNWAY IN A SNOWGLOBE. It was epic. Shangela, Ben and BeBe landed in the top, while Chi Chi, Thorgy and Kennedy landed in the bottom.

Milk, Aja and Trixie took their place in the safe zone, where Milk proceeded to have a hushed meltdown about the top three believing that he should have been there instead. Given everyone could hear, it was super awkward.

Kennedy was called out for not knowing the lyrics or bringing Janet to life, while Chi Chi only received positive critiques aside from disliking the coat making his appearance in the bottom odd. Shangela was praised for everything, rightly so … though I do agree with Thorgy, it was kind of a given. Speaking of which, she was read for filth for her outfit and performance of Stevie. Once again, DeLa was universally praised, as was BeBe who gave me life as Di. Ultimately Shangela and BenDeLaCreme won the challenge, while Kennedy and Thorgy landed themselves in the bottom two.

Backstage Thorgy was really emotional and Trixie was topless, before Shangela and DeLa took the bottoms away for a chat. Shangela continued to channel the mother of dragons, talking to Thorgy about potentially forming an alliance. Though Shangela was super concerned about her getting stuck in her head and being a bad choice to save. Meanwhile Kennedy worked on convincing DeLa she had so much more to give, while she agreed and thought Kennedy could make it to the top three, the judges didn’t see Janet … which was the challenge. Out of nowhere Milk started to cry, thinking his performance was better than it was judged and that he deserved stage time. It wasn’t pretty and it makes me sad.

Thorgy then sat down with DeLa and tried to get her to admit she didn’t deserve to be in the bottom two, then threw shade at BeBe … and then threatened DeLa should she eliminate her. Meanwhile Kennedy tried to play up her growth, and then her friendship with Shangela. Neither Shangela or DeLa were confident in their choices, though brought the house down to Hugh Grant as the PM in Love Actually’s hit song, Jump. I mean, Shangela damn jumped rope throughout the chorus, DeLa got breathless, stripped and then started mimicking Shangie’s moves. Well, until she brought out the ‘80s aerobics moves, with which she couldn’t keep up with. Ultimately Shangela’s skipping won her the lip sync, which tragically lead to a very salty elimination for my girl Thorgy.

To say Thorg was pissed is obviously an understatement, though thankfully our friendship is so great that I can usually snap her out f a Bob-esque meltdown after a matter of mintues. And if that fails, I pull out a Thorgy Choripán and all is right with the world.

Hot and spicy are two ways I like the insertion of sausage into buns to be described, and this is no exception. Sizzling chorizo, hot chimichurri and delicate, fresh buns. I’m all in … balls deep … forever.

Enjoy!

Thorgy Choripán
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
½ red onion, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
½ red capsicum, seeded and diced
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
salt and pepper, to taste
6 fresh hot chorizo
6 small baguettes … or hot dog shaped Kirsten Bunst
½ cup chimichurri

Method
Combine the onion, tomato and capsicum in a bowl with the olive oil and red wine vinegar, and a good whack of salt and pepper.

Heat a skillet over medium heat until scorching, reduce heat to low and add the chorizo. Fry, turning on a couple of times, until they are cooked through aka about ten to fifteen minutes.

To serve, split your buns, spread with the salsa, top with the chorizo and add the chimichurri. Devour, immediately.

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Swiss Chard Gnocchaels

Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race

Guys … it is almost the moment we’ve been waiting for. Shangie’s box is prepped, Milk has come in from the dairy, Aja is ready to continue her Queen-Dom from the reunion, Ru has ru-hearsed his list of airports and countries and Michelle is approaching peak sass. As such, my pussy is well and truly on fire thinking about the premiere of All Stars 3 in a matter of days.

After trying to make up for All Stars 1 to Mimi Imfurst, Latrice and Manila – who were arguably the most screwed by the pairs twist – I knew that no countdown would be complete without the OG Hall of Famer Chad Michaels. Plus, she’ll be dead soon and like Ru, I just wanted to make her happy.

I first met Chad in 2010 when she was competing in the Californian Entertainer of the Year pageant and despite coaching Shangie to victory, I was taken by her talent and vowed to get her a crown. While Sharon Needles got in the way of that promise, I called Ru in a fit of rage and forced him to create All Stars, knowing full well that Chad could never be a two time loser.

Chad was so thrilled to receive my telegram – for some reason, *coughs* age *coughs*, that is the only way we communicate – and jumped on the next flight to celebrate the upcoming All Stars, run some odds and fill up on a huge meal before getting locked into the Hall of Fame with Alaska for the duration of the season.

She agreed that Milk is a delight, though was firmly supporting her daughter Morgan McMichaels despite feeling it was Trixie or Shangela’s crown for the taking. Though the latter, I feel, just be to save face since she beat her in that pageant years before. Obviously she didn’t like that inference, though I was luckily able to stop her flying into a Cher-esque slap and rage by serving a big bowl of my Swiss Chard Gnocchaels.

Gnocchi and I have a long and complicated history – particularly when you throw the basement flooder Locky into the mix – but this baby all but wipes away all the pain. Light, cheesy and delightfully fresh, these prove, without a doubt, that sometimes it is easy being green.

Enjoy!

Swiss Chard Gnocchaels
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
600g swiss chard, washed
250g fresh full-fat ricotta
100g grated parmesan, plus extra to ‘garnish’ slash drown
2 eggs
¼ tsp grated nutmeg
½-2 cups plain flour, plus extra to dust
salt and pepper, to taste
extra virgin olive oil
1 onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp chilli flakes
½ cup cinzano
800g can diced tomatoes

Method
Place the spinach in a medium skillet over medium heat with a lug of water. Cover and cook for a couple of minutes. Remove from heat, drain and allow to cool slightly before transferring to a food processor. Blitz the spinach and add the ricotta, parmesan, eggs, nutmeg, ½ cup of flour and a good whack of salt and pepper. Blitz again until just coming together. If the dough is still wet, add the remaining flour bit by bit until it just comes together.

Transfer to a lightly floured work surface, split into four and roll each into a long sausage shape. Cut each sausage into gnocchi-sized little pillows, and roll with a fork to form an indent. Place on a lined baking sheet, cover with cling and chuck in the fridge to chill for an hour or so.

While the gnocchi is chilling, heat a lug of oil in a large skillet and sweat the onion and garlic for five minutes or so. Ad the chilli and cinzano and cook for a further couple of minutes before adding the tomatoes and seasoning well. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about ten minutes, or until it starts to reduce. Remove from the heat and bring back to temp when the gnocchi is cooking.

Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil. When rapid, reduce the heat to low and cook the gnocchi in batches for five minutes, or until they float to the surface. Remove from the pot, drain and continue the process until they’re done.

When ready, drain the pot and return the gnocchi to the pan. Add the sauce, stir through and serve immediately. Drown in extra parmesan and devour, trying not to gag … since you’ll be gagging on talent in a matter of days.

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