Myles Kuahlua Coffee

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 new castaways were dumped on the beaches of Samoa in the hope of answering the age-old question of who reigns superior – hotties or hulks. Unlike the first go around in the Queensland outback, the smarties won the first challenge and while everyone wanted to get rid of Nash, he found an immunity idol minutes into arriving back at camp, forcing sweet Candy to become the first boot. The stronguns’ soon took out victory and while the women had the upper hand at Brains, Indy burnt all the bridges and saved Myles from Kent’s shenanigans. The next day Kaelan claimed his first physical victim, breaking Zen’s hand so badly he was evacuated, before the Brains put us out of our misery and got rid of Kent.

This set off a lovely little liberating run as Nash tanked himself out of the game, before Rich was sent over to join the Brawns. Ally’s confidence then blew up her game, before he was booted properly, before Ursula was put out of her own misery after weeks of feuding with Noonan. Max’s cockiness then bit him in the bum, thinking that once again, he was getting the best of Myles while being shown the door, before AJ’s run of throwing challenges sent an injured Noonan out the door. Laura then found an advantage letting her know that someone would be switching to Brawn, leading to Zara swooping in and talking her way out of danger before Ben up and quit out of nowhere.

The tribes finally game together, allowing Kate and Morgan to get revenge on Jesse for being bossy and kind of terrible at the game. Myles then started playing wild, stealing Kristin’s idol and using it to boot her closest ally PD out of the game. Mere days after Kaelen broke his arm. With the jury about to start, the boys decided Logan was too powerful so flushed her idol and made her closest ally the queen of the jury. Poor Paulie soon followed – oh, zaddy Paulie, swoon – before the rest of the women fell one by one. Yes, Karin, Logan, Kristin, Morgan, Kate and Zara went back to back to back. Morgan, all the way home, opting out of the jury. At the final three it seemed like AJ’s closeness with Kaelan would carry him to the end, however Kaelan finally made the tough decision and sent him to the jury and took Myles to the end.

Sadly for Kaelan, however, the Jungle Rat not only had a compelling story and play a super strong game, but he was also able to articulate it well to everyone on the jury and secure enough votes to take out the win. As the Rat King arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and told him how proud of him I was. Our bi-king played an incredibly showy game and while it made for compelling television, I think his personal growth was lost on TV. And that is what made me the most proud – he learned from his mistakes and ugh, if anyone is destined to become our version of Sandra, I feel like it is him. And while that compliment is more than enough comfort, I toasted his victory with a Myles Kuahlua Coffee or six.

While on paper, this may sound like the world’s most boring Irish coffee, I am a coffee girlie through and through, so the double coffee hit is simply a win. Punchy and strong, it is just what you need after 7 weeks of bottoming to victory.

Enjoy!

Myles Kuahlua Coffee
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
1 cup freshly brewed coffee
¼ cup Kahlua
whipped cream, to top

Method
As is oft the case, this one is super complex to make so pay close attention.

Divide the hot coffee into two glasses. Divide the kahlua into the two glasses. Top with whipped cream.

Down, rinse and repeat as required for your celebration.


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Swedish Meatbaelan Bakehart

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the boys awoke on Day 46, proud to have navigated the entire game together and come out on top against all odds. Their joy was relatively short lived, however, as JLP wheeled out another painful final immunity challenge. Poor Myles only managed to last a few hours standing on tiny pegs and while AJ was super confident that he would never be stepping down, he fell off after three hours and handed Kaelan another record breaking win. And while it appeared to be great, Kaelan absolutely hated it, as he now had to betray one of his besties and ruin their dreams. At tribal council, he even pulled them aside to talk through what he should do, and despite AJ trying to lay it on thick, Kaelan made the wiser move and sent him out of the game as the final juror. As he watched on sobbing as JLP snuffed AJ’s torch.

The final two woke up on Day 47, admitting they finally slept soundly and were feeling good. After marking off the final day on the beach, Myles opened up to us about how much he loves strategy games and that all he has to do now is pitch his case. He was proud of playing such a big, loud, dramatic game, all while being targeted by each and every person. He knew that his social game was his weakness though, which led to bullets frequently firing at his head. But he pushed through it and laid low when required to make people forget about him. Though he was confident the jury weren’t thrilled with him or even thought that he deserved being crowned the victor.

As they cooked up breakfast, Kaelan was back to his usual chipper self, and shared that while he dominated challenges, he also played a strong game. He shared information when he needed to, and he always had the information because of his social game. And he used that to move the votes off his closest allies – AJ and Myles – when people started targeting them. Secretly masterminding Karin and Logan’s boots in the process. And that is what made him confident in his case, because did he mention, the jury hates Myles?

The final two made their way to tribal council where JLP outlined how things would play out. After opening statements, the jury would each ask a question before Kaelan and Myles would deliver a final statement before they headed off to vote. Kaelan then kicked off proceedings telling everyone how beautiful they were. He outlined breaking challenge winning records, but also being so kind as to distract people from how physical he was, also downplaying his intelligence and winning hearts. And it worked, as nobody considered him a threat. He then knew he could push towards the end of the game as he was so lovable, so started winning challenges and hiding behind the strategic shields in Myles and AJ. He then pointed out his biggest move was removing the biggest strategist of the season in AJ, and as such, he is the new alpha. Oh and he out brawned the brawns, and out brained the brains and as such, deserves the win.

Myles meanwhile did away with talking about a strategic or strength base game, talking about the fact he took risks all season and while sometimes his moves were a big miss, most of the time, they were massive hits. He knew he found himself on the bottom for being too enthusiastic and while he was on the bottom, he was always happy and made people want to keep him and use him. He also took all the heat, which took skill. And some personality defects, which he is aware of. He dominated with the advantages, which is a no brainer. He made it to the final three riding the dragons of the game, and then used one dragon to kill the other. While Kaelan cruised through the game, he survived in every facet and proved he is the ultimate bottom boy. Sorry, Paulie.

We pivoted to the jury where Kristin kicked things off asking them to outline who played each pillar better, with Myles agreeing Kaelan played the physical pillar best, but he dominated the strategic and social pillar. This fired up Kaelan who told everyone he owned the social as well, but the rest he agrees with. Paulie asked them what they were proud to show in the game, with Myles grateful to be able to prove that he has resilience, as it has never been tested in life. He played the bottom from day one and was able to push through, and by the halfway point, he rose. Kaelan said that he was proud of his mental toughness and trying to look after everyone he cares about. Which Kate questioned meant it was all actually an act, with the puppy pointing out anything that wasn’t strategic, was real.

Karin asked what each of them regretted, with Kaelan admitting that voting out AJ was his biggest regret as it was the only person he voted out that didn’t flip on him first. Myles wisely spoke about hating how he played from the top and while he loved the PD move, he regretted how he played the votes afterwards. Karin questioned whether he thought he would be here without advantages, with him admitting that he probably wouldn’t but he leveraged luck to make it to the end. Kaelan jumped in pointing out that he made his own luck and he is the most likely to make it to the end if they played the game multiple times. Myles agreed that some people make it all the way to the end of a poker game all the time but will never win, while Myles misplayed some games, he is far more likely to win. Essentially. Karin then pointed out to Kaelan that he was dealt consistently good hands, while he ignored it and mentioned he just made consistently small moves to keep in control. As the jury started to roll their eyes.

AJ then roasted the duo for being delusional before letting them each know what their biggest mistakes were. For Myles, it was the complete lack of logic in his final speech. Given he didn’t take the dragons to the end, if he wanted to take AJ out at five. Myles pointed out he rode the dragons for the game, but at five, he realised Zara would take him to the end and as such, wanted to protect her. So he made a decisive move and pivoted, which is what he did all season. Kaelan’s biggest mistake, however, was needing to drop the shields in fifth and fourth, however he didn’t, dragging them to the final three and giving himself a horrific uphill battle at final tribal council. And while you were correct, AJ, don’t make him cry. Kaelan argued that being a social threat, he needed to take two people that felt they could beat him in the end, as then they wouldn’t think of cutting him.

Logan asked what they would do if they woke up tomorrow and played the game again, with Kaelan standing by his game and sharing he wouldn’t change a thing as he was super confident in how he played. Myles meanwhile would have played a better social game and built positive relationships, putting a pin in strategy for the first five days and focusing on making friends. He actually thinks he learnt from his mistakes, though, throughout the game, applying everyone’s feedback and growing. And just like Kaelan, he is super proud of the game he played. And given the look on the faces of the jury, I think they were pretty proud too.

With that the jury voted, JLP brought out Myles’ bestie and Kaelan’s mum before reading the votes, crowning Myles the Sole Survivor in a 7-1 victory. Given Kaelan is human sunshine, it isn’t a shock that all he could talk about after the game was how proud of Myles he was. While the runner-ups tragically don’t get a prize in Australia, he broke a record which is unlikely to be broken any time soon and that enough is a victory. Plus, he inherited Max’s speedo and wore it for the latter part of the game, meaning he is firmly a gay icon. Which is the biggest honour a straight man can have. That and a Swedish Meatbaelan Bakehart.

As anyone that has ever been to Ikea will tell you, Swedish meatballs are always the right answer. Throw them in a baking tray with a hearty serving of mushrooms and sage, and well, they are perfection. And most importantly, easy. So, so easy.

Enjoy!

Swedish Meatbaelan Bakehart
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
10g dried porcini mushrooms
750g pork mince
¾ cup panko breadcrumbs
1 red onion, finely diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 egg
1 tsp ground fennel seeds
salt and pepper, to taste
⅓ cup olive oil
300g mushrooms, thinly sliced
800g canned borlotti beans, rinsed and drained
¾ cup double cream
½ cup sage leaves
100g baby spinach leaves
grated parmesan, to serve

Method
Pop the porcini in a heatproof bowl with 1½ cups of boiling water, and set aside for 10 minutes, to rehydrate and get plump.

While that is happening, combine the pork, breadcrumbs, onion, garlic, fennel and a good whack of salt and pepper in a large bowl, and scrunch to combine with your hands. Roll into golf ball sized balls and leave to rest on a lined plate.

Preheat the oven to 220C and pop a large baking dish in the oven for 5 minutes, or until nice and hot. Pour ¼ cup of olive oil in the hot tray, add the meatballs and mushrooms and return to the oven to bake for 10 minutes. Stir in the porcini and water, borlotti and cream, and return to the oven for 20 minutes, or until golden and bubbling. 

Heat the rest of the oil in a frying pan and once hot, add the sage leaves and cook for a couple of minutes, or until toasted and crisp.

Remove the tray from the oven and stir in the spinach meatballs until wilted, serving with mashed potato or pasta, crispy sage leaves and a good whack of parmesan. And devour, like a gorgeous, sweet king.


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Breakferas Basandwich

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Breakfast, Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor twelve people at the top of their games – aka Titans – were pitted against twelve wildcards – yep, you guessed it, Rebels – where the Titans lead the way in getting absolutely demolished by the Rebels as Tobias did the L on his forehead as often as possible. The Titans lost Frankie and Jessica back-to-back before the Rebels lost an immunity challenge. While the buff, alleged hotties thought they had control, Feras rallied the troops to take out Peta and Tobias back-to-back, sadly without the latter’s signature L. Kelli then was sent over to the Titans as a saboteur, failed, and then they lost Nathan before the tribes switched up for real.

Kelli upped the ante on the chaos – oh damn, Kelli was wild – before Caroline realised she needed to get rid of Viola to ensure Mark stayed loyal to her. Drawing the ire of Valeria in the process. Viola was followed out the door by Sarah and Garrick before Charles got rather screwed by a twist. Though it kept the Rebel minority strong, so whatever. Before the tribe finally grew tired of Kelli and sent her packing before the merge.

After the merge the stress of the game got to Scott as he quit the game, soon followed by Winna and Eden before Aileen became the Queen of the Jury. She was soon joined by Jaden and Valeria, before Alex put a massive target on Kirby’s back before he exited the game. Kirby’s closest ally Ri followed Alex out the door, before Caroline accidentally idolled her closest ally Kitty out of the game. The threat of Kirby winning finally spooked everyone enough to boot her, before Ray lost the fire challenge and became the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season.

Despite winning the last two immunity challenges, Mark was the first to drop in the final immunity challenge. Despite being the perennial bridesmaid, Feras finally took out the win and promptly sent Mark to the jury. At the final tribal council, despite Caroline playing an extremely strong game, it was Feras that absolutely stole the show, answering everything with heart and grace before being named the Sole Survivor. Unanimously. With a big, hot Breakferas Basandwich to celebrate.

If there are two things I love with all my heart, it is breakfast and sandwiches. So yeah, this blog is full of different variations of breakfast sandwiches. Essentially a BEC but on sourdough, this one is glorious, easy and worthy of victory.

Enjoy!

Breakferas Basandwich
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
4 rashers streaky bacon
2 tsp butter
3 eggs, whisked
salt and pepper, to taste
2 slices sourdough
2 slices American cheese

Method
Heat a skillet over medium heat and fry the bacon until glorious and crisp. Remove to some paper towel, and keep warm.

Add the butter to the still hot pan and once melted and foamy, add the eggs to the pan and use a spatula to scramble by sweeping across the pan until set. Remove from the heat, season with salt and pepper, and remove from heat.

Toast the sourdough and transfer to a plate. Pop a slice of American cheese on one of the slices of bread, followed by two pieces of bacon, the eggs, the remaining bacon and American cheese. Close the sandwich with the remaining bread and devour, victoriously.


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Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Side, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Feras was heartbroken to have lost his two closest allies back-to-back, despite the Rebels having the majority at the final five. Caroline and Mark, meanwhile, were feeling their oats to have survived against all odds and each other all the way to the final three. And were looking forward to snipping Feras on the way to the final tribal council. At a hard fought final immunity challenge, Mark shocked everyone by dropping first leaving Caroline and Feras to battle it out, with the latter finally scoring immunity. And promptly sending Mark to the jury.

The next day the final two were positively giddy as they awoke and started to get their head in the game for the battle ahead. Feras spoke about how much he has grown throughout the season, wanting to come in and play a savage game, though how he ended up playing much kinder. That being said, he was a little bit nervous about Mark turning the jury against him. Caroline congratulated them, proud that it has come down to one Rebel and one Titan. Feras spoke about wanting to do it for his religion and be the first middle eastern man to win Australian Survivor. Caroline spoke about feeling like the least Titan-ic member of the Titans, though was proud to have overcome them all and make it to the end thanks to her internal strength.

They got to work cooking up their pre-final tribal council breakfast, with Caroline feeling alive which made Feras very nervous. She likened the game to giving birth and please, give the lady some damn votes as she truly did play a strong game and this should be closer than the edit leads me to believe it will be.

We ventured straight to the final tribal council where JLP explained how the evening’s proceedings would play out. Caroline was first with opening statements, talking about how she came into the game with a massive target as the oldest woman in a tribe of very strong people. She put her survival down to her ability to build bonds, specifically forming the middle aged mafia to survive the early stages. She articulated why she took out Viola to make it to the merge, where she ultimately took flight. She voted correctly all but two times, dominated in the fire making challenge and hot damn, she deserves to be sitting in the final two.

Feras meanwhile spoke about how he came into the game wanting to play a strong game for the Muslim and Middle Eastern communities. And to have fun along the way. At the start, he clocked that the alphas were taking control of the Rebels, so pulled together the misfits to try and get the upper hand. And despite spending much of the game on bottom, he was able to pull off some wild, chaotic moves to make it to the jury. Feras spoke about his bond with Kirby and that they both were shielding each other, and how after Alex called her out, he realised he needed to announce himself by cutting her and proving he was her equal. Most importantly, he had so much fun getting to know everyone and seeing their pride, I think we know how this is going.

We pivoted to the jurors, where Mark offered the final two some advice: to be honest and admit their mistakes, rather than try to reach for things they didn’t actually do. He then asked Caroline when she was most in trouble and how she got out of it, where she talked about the Viola blindside and how she read the situation between her and Viola, and how she worked with Kitty to flip things. Aileen pointed out Feras’ biggest weakness was not listening, before asking him to talk about his biggest move. Feras outlined that he didn’t listen because playing idols is nerve wracking. On that note, his biggest move was to go on the idol hunt and while he found it within seconds, he left it for Alex to find, knowing it would shift the target on to him instead.

Ri asked Caroline why she didn’t always include her in the plans, even when they were working together. To her credit, Caroline told her she had to do it to assess whether she could trust her and that she was always loyal to those that she was closest to. Valeria asked Feras how many votes he is expecting to get tonight, with him admitting he just hopes for the majority. Caroline wisely pointed out that she can’t count on any votes, though she wanted the jury to listen and vote for who they think played best. Valeria hilariously spoke about how the final two aren’t really giving the jury what they need to inspire votes. This fired Caroline up, talking about while she may not have played the best social game, she has fought tooth and nail to get to the end.

Alex asked Caroline how she thinks she went after he was voted out, with her talking about being proud, given she always positioned herself well enough to make it another day. Aileen said it wasn’t enough, leading her to talking about misplaying the idol on Mark which ultimately sent Kitty home. Which Ray clocked as a bad move. Kirby asked Feras why he ultimately chose to send her home and whether he was scared to face off against her. He wisely spoke about the fact that his chances of winning the game are better with her sitting on the jury, so it wasn’t fear and was simply him playing smart. And to him, getting rid of his shield was actually the bravest thing he could do. He spoke about how he leveraged his idol in various ways throughout the game to last, making strategic moves to protect himself. He then listed all the people he had orchestrated the demise of. And by the time music started to swell under him talking about how proud of his game he is, and how much he loves them all, it was clear this game was done.

With that the jury voted, JLP wheeled out Iman and Murray to stand alongside their loved ones before the votes were read and Feras was unanimously declared the winner of the season. And while I would say it was well deserved, justice for Caroline, as she played a hell of a game. As they were resetting the cameras for the fake ending, I pulled Caroline aside and pulled her in for a massive hug. Raging at Kitty, specifically, for not even giving her closest ally a vote. Because like her namesake with the different spelling in 44, she played so much better than finishing as a 0 vote finalist. She thanked me for my kindness, before I cut her off and reminded her I am not kind nor was I her staunchest of supporters – she played a killer game and deserves the praise, a season rigged for her ala Boston Rob and a big fat bowl of Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis.

I know apples and sprouts don’t exactly sound like a delicious, tasty side, but damn, this is good. Earthy, sweet and a little bit salty, it all works together perfectly and would honestly elevate any and all meals. Specifically a roast pork though, TBH.

Enjoy!

Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
300g Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved
1 apple, cored and diced
2 tsp avocado oil
salt and pepper, to taste
2 rashers streaky bacon, diced
½ onion, sliced
½ tsp maple syrup
¼ cup roasted walnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Toss the Brussels sprouts and apples with half of the oil and a pinch of salt, and pop in a single layer on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crispy.

While they are cooking, heat the remaining oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook bacon for a couple of minutes, or until golden. Add the onions and cook for another few minutes, or until they are starting to soften. Reduce the heat to low and continue cooking for another 15 minutes, or until they are gloriously sweet.

When the sprouts are almost done, add the bacon and onion, followed by the maple and walnuts and allow to toast for a minute. Remove from the oven, toss and then devour, like a Queen.


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Haylal Snack Peake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways were dropped in the outback, far from the tropical islands we’ve grown accustomed to – thanks COVID! One by one they were felled as – yep, doing it – Phil, Janelle, Gavin, Benny, Mitch, Joey, Daini, Shannon, Georgia, Rachel and Simon headed home before the two tribes merged and formed the Fire tribe.

Instead of the Beauty tribe, which will always be a sore point to me.

Kez was the first victim of the new tribe before Chelsea was medevaced, leaving Baden to become the King of the Jury. He was quickly joined by Gerald, Laura, Emmett, Andrew, Dani, Wai and Cara, leaving Flick as the lone Brawn standing against George and Cara.

And by standing, I mean hunching painfully in a brutal final immunity challenge where the trio faced off for over five hours before Hayley took out victory and gave her the power to eliminate the final juror. Which obviously became Flick.

After a hard fought final tribal council where both George and Hayley clearly articulated their games, proving just how good they both were, the jury favoured Hayley’s more well rounded approach and awarded her the title of Sole Survivor. And, you know, the half mill.

As you can imagine, Hayley was buzzing as I sidled on to set to congratulate her, pulling me in for a massive hug. You see, Hayley and I are former colleagues and dear friends – you know how painful I can be, which is an asset to a researcher – so I was so excited to be there to share in her win.

Hayley dominated the game and made massive moves throughout the season, and while she was briefly voted out, she used that to her advantage, expertly adapting her play to make it to the end and rightfully take out the game. The only way I could truly do justice to such an epic, entertaining and at times chaotic run was gifting her a triumphant Haylal Snack Peake.

While I was late to the party when it came to the majesty of the HSP, I have well and truly made up for lost time when it came to the holy grail of food. The chips are crispy, the chicken is packing a punch, a little charred and oh so juicy that by the time you get to the garlicky sauce and gooey cheese, there is no denying this is made for winners.

Enjoy!

Haylal Snack Peake
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 cup Greek yoghurt
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp ground coriander
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp paprika
1 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tsp tsp onion powder
½ tsp black pepper
3 tbsp tomato paste
2 tsp salt
1 lemon, zested and juiced
3 tbsp olive oil
1kg chicken thighs, no skin, no bones (no jokes about me normally loving a bone)
1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries
2 cups grated cheddar
¼ cup smokey BBQ sauce
¼ cup garlic sauce
¼ cup sriracha
small handful flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped

Method
Start by mixing up the yoghurt through olive oil together in a large bowl until well combined. Add the chicken and toss with your hands, making sure that every piece is sopping with the marinade. Cover and pop in the fridge for six hours. Overnight is ideal, but like you, I don’t have time for that so six will do, ok?

Preheat the oven to 220°C.

Grab a bunch of metal skewers and a baking dish that they can precariously balance either side on so they are elevated. I’m not the best at explaining, but it will make sense in a bit. Remove the chicken from the fridge and thread on to two parallel skewers, jamming the thighs close together so they look like baby kebab sticks (I obviously couldn’t be bothered to Google it).

Once they’re all on skewers, line the baking dish and balance the ends of the skewers on the sides of the dish so the chicken is elevated from the base. Pop the dish in the oven and bake for half an hour, or until brown and glorious. Remove from the oven, baste with the juices and return to the oven for twenty minutes. Remove from the oven again when it is charred, baste and leave to rest for five minutes.

While you work on the fries, stand the skewers upright and carve the chicken from them like the do at a kebab shop (side note: how hypnotic was watching that, drunk at 2am?) and leave to rest in their juices.

To assemble, pop your chips in a bowl, top with the cheese and follow with a generous helping of the chicken. Drizzle with the sauces, add a bit more cheese and a sprinkle of parsley to feel healthy.

Then devour like you haven’t had a decent meal in 48 days but are also thrilled to be victorious.


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Custard George Mladanish

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Dessert, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the final three met Jonathan in the middle of the elephant’s graveyard from The Lion King to find three torture devices from a Saw movie. Apparently this wildly unexpected crossover wasn’t a sign of things to come for Disney, but instead the final immunity challenge for Brains v Brawns. After hours and hours of standing on pegs beneath a bed of nails, Flick finally fell out of the challenge and handed Hayley immunity and the chance to select who she would face off against in the final two. And despite pleading a strong case at tribal council, found herself heading out of the game as the final juror.

The final two awoke on Day 48 to find a bounty of food and champagne, with Hayley admitting that voting out Flick was the hardest thing she has had to do all season. She then reflected that while George has played a strong strategic game, she has also managed to play a physical game as well as outwitting people and to top it off, didn’t rub people the wrong way like George did. And well, she is ready to take out victory and take control of her life after years dedicated to study.

George meanwhile was shocked that the person that was so close to being an early boot had made it to the end of the competition, ready to pitch his case to the jury. George was proud of his strong strategic game and hoped that he would be rewarded so that he could pay off his parents debts and let them enjoy their retirement, which is just so damn warm and fuzzy I can’t even stand it. He reflected on having a target on his back the entire time and was ready to remind every juror that his game is why they’re all sitting on the bench.

Which honestly, is never a great way to win votes.

At final tribal council George kicked things off and was far more charming than I thought he would be, talking about how he has been overcoming his own fears all game. And speaking of the game, his first play was to sow controlled chaos in his tribe to work around the fact he was clearly in the bottom. After the tribe swap, he knew to fall in line with the Brawns before flipping back to the Brains come merge, given there was no way he was ever getting to the end with the others. He was passionate, articulate and well, Hayley’s nervous face said it all as the jury smiled with George talking about leading the Brains from a minority to the majority and that he fought tooth and nail all season.

And, obviously, he told them that he is ready for his crown.

Hayley’s nervous face made way for a cheeky smile, sharing how proud she is of her game. Not to be outdone by George, she went all the way back to Joey’s boot, taking full credit for the move to flip Wai and Baden to get rid of him and pointed out it was the turning point in the game. She then spoke about her idol heroics on the post-swap Brawn tribe, highlighting her ability to trust in new allies to pull off the blindside on Simon. Oh and the Kez boot? Yeah, yeah – George told her to play the idol for Laura, but she is the one that successfully executed the plan. She then acknowledged the fact she was booted from the game but fought her way back and how she used that weakened target to find her footing and dominate the end game.

Jonathan flipped things over to the jury with Laura assuring both Hayley and George that she is undecided on who to vote for. She asked George what he learnt about himself during the game, with him admitting that he now knows that he can do anything he puts his mind to, given nobody expected him to get to this point. He also learnt that he is great at eavesdropping. Cara meanwhile asked Hayley if she planned to lie and deceive or whether it was just natural. Hayley knocked it out of the park, admitting that that is not only part of the game but also her job, given that as a researcher you have to convince people that placebos are actually real. And those skills were great for her game.

Andrew asked whether either of them have regrets in the game, with George thrilled that everything got him to this point and as such, he was good. Hayley meanwhile regretted the way she outed George as the double agent early in the merge, as it landed her on redemption. This led to Dani jumping in and asking why Hayley lied at the outback spa, with Hayley perfectly outlining that she was scared at what Dani would do if she felt that Hayley wasn’t with her and as such, she had to lull her into a false sense of security for her own safety. Which seemed to make Dani happy, assuring both Hayley and George that she is an undecided voter and she wants to see them both own all of their lies.

Gerald meanwhile asked George and Hayley who they would align with should the game restart with the jury, with George hilariously saying none of them while Hayley said that she was confident she would be able to work with all of them again.

Dani returned for her legit question, asking George why he habitually gave up in the challenges when he knew half of the jury value physicality given they were on the Brawn tribe. And well, it is literally a third of the motto. George defended himself, saying that he knew that his lack of athletic ability was his weak point and as such, he just wanted to focus on the things he could do well. Flick asked Hayley while they never worked together, with Hayley circling back to the Simon blindside and wanting to work with Flick but she never joined her at the merge. Then at the final seven, she only went with George, Cara and Wai because she knew that would give her the easiest path to winning her way to the end. Flick meanwhile asked George about his lies, with him admitting that he dominated strategically and only lied in the hope of getting further.

Emmett meanwhile asked George why he decided to lie and be strategic in such a brash way, explaining that he upset everyone on their way out the door and asked whether he would play the same game if he had his time over. George tried to get Emmett to focus on the game he did play rather than hurt feelings, with Emmett doubling down that that is not what he was asking before George eventually admitted that he wouldn’t play the same again. But I think between the lines, he meant that he wouldn’t get away with the same game twice. Which is super true. Hayley was meanwhile asked how her game differed from George, expertly pointing out that she is the most well rounded player, given she was not just strategic, she was also social and an absolute beast in the challenges.

Tragically Wai and Baden’s questions were cut – or I had a microsleep – before the jury cast their votes and Jonathan wheeled out Hayley and George’s loved ones to read the votes. While things were quickly tied at two a piece, the rest of the votes piled up on Hayley, as she took out victory and the title of sole survivor. Leaving the poor cockroach to join me for a meal to perk him back up as she celebrated.

As the giant sparklers were still going off in celebration of Hayley’s win, I pulled my heartbroken friend – let’s say, we’re both political operatives shall we – aside and intensely told him that the fact he even made it to the end was a shock. Because he played a bold, dominant game and had a target on his back the entire time. He and Hayley both played hard and arguably were our strongest final two ever, both nailing final tribal council and as such, he should sit back, relax and enjoy a Custard George Mladanish like the champion he is.

Like George, this little number is surrounded by a crispy outer shell but inside is nothing but warm, sweet, delicate and soft. Needless to say it is delicious and the perfect way to mark a game well played.

Enjoy!

Custard George Mladanish
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
4 eggs, 3 separated and 1 whole
½ cup raw caster sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
¼ cup cornflour
2 cups milk
3 sheets frozen puff pastry, partially thawed
⅔ cup flaked almonds

Method
First up, start by making your custard. If you have your own preferred recipe, go with that, otherwise keep reading. The most important part is it being firmer. Whisk the three yolks with the caster sugar, vanilla and cornflour in a bowl. Slowly whisk in the milk, quarter cups at a time, until you have a smooth, velvety texture.

Transfer to a saucepan and over medium-low heat, cook, whisking constantly for five minutes or so. Or until the mixture starts to thicken. Keep cooking for a further minute while bubbling away before removing and transferring to a bowl. Cover with cling (directly on top to avoid a skin forming) and leave to cool completely.

While it gets chill, preheat the oven to 180°C. 

Using two of the sheets of pastry, line the base and of a loose based, 35cm rectangle fluted tart tin and trim off excess pastry.

Place the tin on a baking sheet, line and weight the tart tin and blind bake for ten minutes, or until golden around the edges. Remove the weights and bake for a further five minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely.

Drop the oven temperature down to 170°C.

Once both the shell and custard are cool, pour the custard into the shell, sprinkling with half the flaked almonds throughout because I love almonds. Cut the remaining sheet of pastry into strips and plait over the top to form as intricate lattice as you can be bothered with.

Whisk the remaining egg and sprinkle over the remaining almonds. Transfer the danish to the oven and bake for 15-30 minutes, or until golden and heated through. Remove from the oven and allow to rest before carving and devouring.


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Fried Davioli Genat

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Main, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, 24 players returned to the game looking for revenge, redemption or both. Or in Shane and Jericho’s case, to prove they’re the Sandra Diaz-Twine of Australian Survivor. Sadly neither earned the title this go around as Shane and Jericho went out back-to-back, echoing the US All Stars. Once the former winners were out of the way, Daisy was the first to be brutally blindsided from the game with an epic play between David and Mat. She was then followed by Season 2(/4) icons Michelle and Henry.

After those tragic eliminations, Shonee kicked off an epic revenge arc, destroying all the people that thought she was weak, starting with Lydia followed by Abbey and my love John. After that arc finished, Mat fell followed by Phoebe, Flick and Nick, who narrowly missed becoming the first juror for a second time.

Once the tribes came together, David pretended to be on the outs with his swap tribe before blindsiding Locky and taking control post merge. While Harry was the next to go, the game took a heartbreaking turn as Lee was pulled due to a family emergency. His exit was followed by the most overly-complicated non-eliminations before Zach was officially (eventually) felled. Jacqui was then cut for turning on her allies, followed by the tragic exit of our Queen Shonee. A.K. was the next to exit before Brooke’s immunity run cost Tarzan his place before Queen Brooke was also cut. 

After winning the final immunity challenge, David eliminated his biggest competitor Moana, setting the stage for him to battle against former runner-up Sharn. While she improved on her previous performance in front of the jury, Sharn’s messier game wasn’t respected as everyone but her bestie Moana joined together to crown David the Sole Survivor.

Which given he managed to play one of the most dominant, American-series-esque games of Australian Survivor with a massive target on his back, it is what he deserves. David came in with his loss and Pia’s subsequent win fresh in his mind, with him clearly learning from her game to perfect his own. Not just a showy gamer this time, David worked on perfecting his social game which ultimately protected him and made the jury want to award him the prize. And me, some Fried Davioli Genat.

The only thing I love more than a Golden God nude scene is fried food, so these little morsels were the perfect way to honour his victory. Glorious cheesy pasta, coated in crumb and fried until the inside is gooey? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Fried Davioli Genat
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp freshly ground pepper
2 cups panko breadcrumbs
500g packet cheese ravioli
vegetable oil, to shallow-fry
1 cup Spicy TomaJones Sauce, to serve
½ cup freshly chopped parsley, to serve
¼ cup grated parmesan, to serve

Method
Place the buttermilk in a bowl and the breadcrumbs and pepper in another. Dip each ravioli in the buttermilk,  followed by the peppered crumb. Transfer to a lined plate and repeat the process until they’re all good to go.

Pour about 3cm deep worth of oil in a dutch oven oven medium heat until nice and hot. Working a few at a time, add the ravioli and cook for a couple of minutes each side, or until golden (god) and crisp. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate and repeat the process until done.

Serve immediately with some Spicy TomaJones Sauce by its side, covered with a winning sprinkle of parsley and parmesan. Then devour, victoriously.


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Lamb Sharnk Coombes Pies

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Main, Pie, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Final Three arrived at the final immunity challenge, ready to face a no doubt brutal and traumatic bout of endurance to win their way to the final tribal council. Though not before their loved ones were wheeled out to make us all cry. While it was sweet to see everyone soften at the sight of their families, reminded of what they are playing for, Moana wins best family thanks to the iconic one-two punch of Queen Vinnie who is pure joy and love personified and her sweet wife Isabella. Tragically though, Moana was the first to fall out of the challenge and after David eventually took out the final victory, she was sent to become the final juror of the season.

The final two awoke on Day 50, shocked to have made it all the way to the end while Dave was still feeling guilty about having to blindside his friend Mo. Despite it not really being a blindside since she was one of two options. In any event, David reiterated how much he wants to win before listing his entire resume and hot damn, this is going to be a complete and utter blow-out, isn’t it? I mean, I forgot about the fire from scratch thing it was that long ago.

As they settled in for their final breakfast and mimosas – treat yo’ ‘self – by the shore, Sharn told us how big of a mistake Dave made by taking her to the end, given she is the first and only player in Australian Survivor to make it to 100 days in the game. Which yeah, it is super impressive. She spoke about how hard the first loss was on her and she assured us that she had a fire in her belly and was not going to lose again. And oh Sharn, I am starting to feel bad about you losing again.

At tribal council Sharn kicked things off with her opening statement, reminding them that she is the only person to have played 100 days in the game and the only one in their season that has never had their torch snuffed. She said that after the winners were booted first, she knew that runner-ups would be targeted soon after and as such, she kept things quiet. She highlighted that she played both sides all season, told them that not going to rocks was a huge move and her plan as the puppet-master was to ride the Golden God before turning him into her golden ticket. And well, it all just felt a little bit too staged no?

David followed that up with a super sweet, relatable speech, fanning over the jury and charming the shit out of everyone. He admitted to being the mole, he told them how he found his idols – playing Phoebe in the process – blindsided Locky out of a necessity, voted Harry out because he wanted more days played than him before switching tacts and apologising for voting out Tarzan because he loves him, but loves his family more.  Oh and then he welled up talking about how much of a beast Brooke was and how much he loved Mo. Hell, is Sharn going to vote for him too?

Things turned over to the jury, with Locky asking Dave why his desire for a big game disappeared at the merge and he started to hide in a big alliance. Dave explained that being the Golden God got him to tenth last time, and as such he had to pull his head in if he wanted to make it to the end. Shonee then savaged Sharn by asking why she would bother voting for Sharn this time, when she didn’t the last time she was in this situation. Sharn spoke about how well she played this time and built up the alliance that dominated the merge, but didn’t really add anything else. A.K. spoke about the fact Sharn talked him out of going to rocks, and suggested that she can pick rocks for a chance to win his vote. Or leave it up to her game alone and damn, Sharn, the fact Zach laughed should tell you everything about the lack of votes coming your way.

After what felt like an eternity, Sharn opted to back herself and her game and as such, lost another vote.

Brooke decided to add some messiness to the proceedings, asking Dave why Sharn doesn’t deserve to win. Ignoring the question, he spoke about how he was the idol whisperer of the season before circling to the point, I think, by saying his relationships are what brought him to the end. Harry dragged Sharn for constantly pretending to be in alliances with people and pretending she was going to flip and while she tried to highlight it as good gameplay, Brooke reminded her that she burnt a lot of people in the process and as such, she was too focused on going to the end, rather than winning.

Oh and then Tarzan reminded Sharn that she told him to vote Mo in the near-rock tribal and while she tried to pretend that she was testing Tarzan’s loyalty, he thankfully pushed and said it wasn’t a test because if he did, Moana would have gone. This pissed off Moana who joined Tarzan in dragging her and while Sharn tried to dance around it and said it turned out to be her biggest move, Mo pointed out it was actually just her doing nothing. Harry then told her to keep telling herself that – slay – before Moana pointed out that Dave voting her out proved him to be weak, given he preached non-stop of competing against the best. She then asked the boldest question, asking whether he felt she played the bigger game. David expertly praised her and her game, apologising for ruining her dreams, reminding her that taking her to the end weakened his chances and ultimately they are playing for the title of SOLE survivor.

Dave then listed why everyone played killer games, praising them for their moves which is the exact reason why he made sure they all ended up on the jury. I mean, hot damn – that is a Todd Herzog level tribal council performance!

With that speech sealing the deal, the jury voted and then because of COVID-19, we awkwardly got to experience the single weirdest winner reveal of all time – potentially until Winners at War, I guess – as Andrew G was wheeled out to talk to Jonathan who was trapped in the US because of travel restrictions, before he tallied re-written votes in the US … which ultimately crowned David the winner of the game. Much to poor Sharn and her family’s bitter disappointment via satellite from their lounge room.

Tragically poor Sharn’s biggest fears came to a reality and while once again she came second, she does hold a tonne of records which prove her to be one of our best players. Despite how messy her second game may have been as her fears started to play on her mind. As such, I am so glad I was able to be on hand to once again provide her culinary comfort with a hearty batch of Lamb Sharnk Coombes Pies!

Now lamb shanks and I have a complicated past. I mean, despite what you may think, I’m not a fan of sucking meat off a bone (well, in the kitchen). But in pie form? Sign me up! Earthy, rich and encased in a gorgeously buttery pastry, there is no better may to eat your feelings.

Enjoy!

Lamb Sharnk Coombes Pies
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
½ cup flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
4 lamb shanks
2 tbsp olive oil
2 carrots, finely sliced
4 celery stalks, finely sliced
2 onions, diced
8 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup tomato paste
1 ½ cup red wine
1 ½ cup beef stock
6 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
2 bay leaves
2-4 sheets shortcrust pastry
1 egg, beaten lightly
2 sheets butter puff pastry

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Combine the flour, salt and pepper in a large bowl and toss through the shanks to coat. Heat a good lug of the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and add the shanks, cooking for five minutes or until nice and caramelised on the outside. Transfer to a plate to rest.

Add the remaining oil to the dutch onion and saute the carrot, celery, onion and garlic for five minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the tomato paste and cook for a further minute. Repeat the process with the wine, followed by the stock before adding the thyme, bay leaves and shanks to the pan, covering and popping in the oven to cook for 2 ½-3 hours, or until the meat is falling off the bone.

Once cooked, remove from the oven – leaving it on – and carefully remove the meat from the bone and roughly chop into largish chunks. Return the meat to the pan, remove the bay leaves and cook over medium heat until the sauce has reduced. 

To assemble, line 8 individual pie dishes with a square of shortcrust pastry to fit the mould. Line each and fill with some baking weights. Pop them on a baking sheet and transfer to the oven to cook for ten minutes, or until the pastry is starting to cook. Remove from the oven and remove the baking paper and weight combo.

Fill each dish with some of the shank mixture and brush around the rim of each dish with some egg, followed by closing with the puff pastry and cutting a little slit into the top. Brush the pie tops with more egg and transfer to the oven to bake for about half an hour, or until golden and puffed.

Then devour.


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Danni Po’Boytwright

Main, Survivor, Survivor: Guatemala, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor nothing apparently happened and honestly, if this trend continues, I am going to be ropeable. While the network was too lazy to give the iconic season two hour episodes and therefore don’t have time, I love to reminisce. I mean, watching 20 former victors arrive on a remote island – countless falling on their faces as they exited the dingy – before Jeffrey threw them straight into an immunity challenge, where the new former Dakal tribe received immunity, meaning Sandra, Amber, Sarah, Sophie, Kim, Tony, Tyson, Yul, Nick and Wendell were saved from the Tina Wesson, first to worst special. Meanwhile at Sele, Denise found a new, less sexy – but still packing – Malcolm, in the form of Adam, though they sadly got lost in the jungle and immediately became the targets. Luckily Adam is better than people give him credit for and rallied the old school alliance of Rob, Parvati – swoon – Ethan and Danni to his side to get rid of Natalie and weaken Jeremy.

Then the second immunity challenge happened and despite a massive lead for Dakal, Jeremy slayed the final portion and secured immunity. This made Dakal descend into chaos, with the Game Changers all aligning, the poker group of Kim, Tyson and Amber – by proxy – on the outs and the wet-dream power alliance of Yul and Sophie pulling in Nick and Wendell to take control of the tribe. Ultimately pulling in the Game Changers to get rid of Amber, again, to weaken a male. Much to the disgust of Sandra.

We opened by checking in on Natalie and her new BFF Amber on the Edge of Extinction where Amber was still trying to come to terms with her boot, though was grateful for a second chance and was using her four children at home and her husband over at Sele as motivation to keep going and to push to find ways that she can help Rob’s Cause.

Speaking of Rob, he awoke at Sele to discover a bequeathed Fire Token and immediately panicked that it meant that Amber had been voted out. He then shared how hard it was for both of them to leave the kids once again and as such, he worried about how she would cope with all the time to think the edge provides. Rob found Parvati by the shore and immediately shared his fears with her while Parvati hopefully suggested that maybe it was Sandra. They then speculated about all the different friends that could have possibly passed their token to him, but you could tell deep down that he knew his wife was gone. And if Sandra had something to do with it, he would be out for revenge.

Meanwhile Denise and Ben were chatting and collecting wood, with the latter hoping to improve his game by building social bonds. As a semi-expert, Ben decided to coach Denise in finding hidden immunity idols with it quickly paying off as Denise snatched it. Sadly for her it was a best friend’s idol, requiring Denise to give the other half away with it only working when combined. Surprisingly Ben didn’t pressure her to give him the half, instead suggesting that she pass it off to someone to build trust. Helpfully suggesting Adam, somehow unaware that the two were fast becoming a tight duo. With Ben’s blessing, Denise found Adam on the beach and told him what had happened and while they were both annoyed that Ben was aware of its existence, glad that they could use it together. With that Denise suggested that they gift it to Parvati to get an in with the icon, while Adam quickly talked her out of it and around to giving it to him instead.

Over at Dakal Yul was using his long, hard piece of wood to collect fruit for the tribe, while Kim acted as his cheerleader, just desperate to find a friend. Speaking of Kim, she was struggling with being on the outs after dominating her first season and decided to go find an idol. Despite knowing that hunting isolates her and makes her more of a target, the risk was worth it as she really didn’t have any other options. After learning that it was a crummy best friend’s idol, Tony and Nick appeared from behind a tree, with her pretending to be grabbing firewood. While she knew that she had been caught, she assumed they didn’t think she had found it. Having a good feeling about Sophie, she approached her to gift her the other half idol, much to Sophie’s confusion given they aren’t aligned and Sophie is keen to take her out using the intel.

Back at the Edge of Extinction, Amber and Natalie discovered a note for yet another advantage. Natalie played dumb about the whole token jam, bartering any advantages to earn enough to by rewards or advantages for them. For some reason, the duo opted to hunt for the advantage together, meandering around the island until Amber decided it was a trigger to find something that may appear tomorrow. Annoyed at expending all the energy, Natalie felt guilty and went to get water for them both. It was there that she discovered an advantage in the well. Said advantage would set the person back one token, and give them the opportunity to exit tribal council before the votes were cast, meaning they were immune, but also missed out on having their say. Like the Pia and Luke majesty in Champions vs. Contenders II. Over at Sele we learnt that Jeremy was the lucky person to be get the advantage offer, with him readily handing over his token.

We returned to Dakal where Tony was hard at work on his fake job of construction to keep himself occupied so he doesn’t do anything stupid. Instead of injecting that energy in improving camp, he used his time to make a ladder so that they could climb up to collect fruit. The tribe took the 20-foot ladder into the jungle to test it out, while Tyson marveled at the fact he isn’t dead and Sophie was concerned that he was actually going to test it and die. Tony being Tony, he then actually climbed the idol and honestly, I am still shocked that he isn’t dead.

While everyone was worried about his mental well being, the move did soften them towards him and everyone was laughing and happy. Sarah noticed that this is exactly how he was in Cagayan and was glad that people were falling for him, hopeful that him making more friends would hide from their friendship of more than six years. The duo finally took a moment to go for a walk and quickly suggested that they reignite their Cops’R’Us alliance and while they all looked happy, Sarah did not that last time they aligned, He took her out and as such, she is going in with her eyes wide open.

Jeffrey finally arrived for the combined reward and immunity challenge and after Rob stopped fuming about losing his wife, Jeff explained that they would race out with a cart to collect three years on the top of towers, then use said keys to release three chests. They would then load them on the cart, dis-assemble it, pass it through an obstacle, reassemble it and wheel the cart to the end and solve a puzzle with the pieces inside. The reward was for the Survivor spice kit and honestly, I am shocked that Michele didn’t have PTSD from the Koah Rong spice challenge genocide.

Dakal got out to an early lead with Sele nipping at their heels. It turns out however that Tyson is more adept at wielding a long, hard pole and extended their lead ever so slightly. Dakal continued to work well together, putting their cart back together ahead of Sele, getting their pieces to Sandra and Sophie with a decent lead over Sele, leaving Rob and Denise to nervously wait. Sandra and Sophie had finished their first segment of the puzzle as Denise and Rob finally joined the fray, with Tony encouraging his tribe to cheer for their girls to make their rivals more anxious. Which is equal parts petty, hilarious and amazing. Rob and Denise took a break to sort their pieces on the table, while Sandra and Sophie whipped through the puzzle, winning the challenge for their tribe with a huge lead, sending Sele back to tribal council.

Making me think, was Rob too concerned about Amber to think? If so, I ship them so hard.

Back at camp Parvati was nervous about being outnumbered by the new school winners on the tribe, while Rob was heartbroken to have choked in the challenge. Ethan pointed out that Rob was crap in the challenge, while Rob countered that he too was shit. Rob wasn’t overly concerned about heading to tribal council however, as he built a strong relationship with his fellow old school winners and as such, they got together to try and find a target. Unfortunately, the alliance was plotting without one of their members, Danni, which made her super nervous. And irritated with Parvati, got to work schmoozing the tribe to try and save herself. Danni and Ethan caught up with Ben and Danni sadly let slip the existence of the old school alliance, immediately terrifying Ben as the newest winner on his tribe.

With that Ben took the information to Adam and Jeremy, with Ethan tagging along and pretending not to be a part of any of the drama, to turn the tide on the old schoolers. Meanwhile Danni approached Rob and explained that she was feeling left out, so checked in with him to see whether he would be willing to take out his number one ally, Parvati. While they promised to go with the plan and stick together, Rob considered it her second and final strike, and instead got to work turning the vote on her. This made Adam happy, seeing the oldies fighting against themselves and while he would rather get rid of Parvati, he was happy to bide his time until it was right and get rid of Parvati. Ethan told Parvati about Danni targeting her, before the trio joined together to lock in the Danni vote and see whether they trust Ben enough to go through with it. Meanwhile Adam filled Michele and Jeremy in on the plan, before offering up the chance to take out Parvati instead. And being on the bottom of the tribe, the duo obviously didn’t care, as long as it wasn’t them.

At tribal council Adam struggled to stick his torch in a hole, and oh my god, is he playing the bumbling fool perfectly? With the slapstick out of the way, Rob spoke about the importance of making both real and fake relationships, which Ethan agreed was hard to figure out. Michele admitted to struggling to read people this season and that old school and new school doesn’t impact. Parvati disagreed and said that playing decades ago made it difficult for some people to keep up, given they never had to contend with certain elements and as such, are pretty much newbies in this era.

Danni agreed and said that her previous game was all about loyalty, which is what she was trying to do this season. This got a nice chuckle from Parvati who shared that Danni originally had targeted Rob, who then became her ally in the old school alliance. This got a reaction from Ben, who shared Danni’s earlier faux pas with the tribe and said that as much as they want to deny it, there clearly was an old school, new school thing occurring in the tribe. He then spoke about the rising paranoia in the tribe, blaming the oldies for causing it in the tribe. This led to the trio berating him for calling them out, when everyone is.

Rob, Jeremy, Parvati and Ethan started whispering, before Rob called on everyone to empty out their bag to prove that they don’t have the idol. Denise skillfully hid her idol in her hand as everyone emptied their bag, and Adam called Rob out for strong arming the tribe into showing their possessions. Adam spoke about the more important aspect of the game being about forming relationships at this point, with Parvati agreeing that the vote was solely coming down to relationships.

With that the tribe voted, nobody played a hidden immunity idol and Queen Danni was ironically voted from the game for running her mouth, despite winning her season and hiding her plans from even the producers. On the way out the door, a dejected Danni bequeathed her Fire Token to Denise.

Unlike most of my other Edge of Extinction catch-ups, I didn’t jump out and spook the hell out of Danni. While I had planned to, I was ugly crying like Dawson Leery and was not being quiet about it, and as such, Danni found me hiding under the bequeathment table and asked what the hell I was doing down there. I spluttered through snot bubbles as I explained how happy I was to finally have a Guatemala OG return to the game and seeing her running her mouth out of the game so soon, was too much to handle. Particularly since she won by keeping her mouth shut in confessionals, so production couldn’t spoil her plans.

I continued to cry as she tried to perk me up, vowing to return to the game and slay it. And as such, told me I better have another recipe lined up to follow the delicious Danni Po’Boytwright we shared as she headed to the girl’s club known as Edge of Extinction.

 

 

Spicy and meaty, this baby is one of my favourite ways to enjoy meat in my buns. While it may appear simple, this po’boy makes up for its simplicity by being jam packed with flavour. Garlicky, creamy, spicy and sweet, this sando is a complete journey for your mouth, which is just what you need.

Enjoy!

 

 

Danni Po’Boytwright
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
6 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp salt
½ tsp black pepper, ground
1 tsp ground chilli
1kg beef chuck roast
2 cups beef stock
4 Hulk Hogies
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
8-12 slices provolone cheese
iceberg lettuce, shredded
2 tomatoes, sliced
4 dill pickles, sliced
1 tbsp hot sauce

Method
Combine a good lug of olive oil with the garlic, salt, pepper and chilli in a large, shallow dish and add the beef chuck. Rub with the marinade, cover and place in the fridge for an hour or so.

Heat another lug of oil in a dutch oven over high heat. Once scorching, reduce heat to medium and seal the roast on either side for a couple of minutes, allowing the outside to caramelise. Once it has started sticking to the base, add the beef stock and bring to the boil. Once rolicking, reduce heat to low and simmer for an hour or so, or until the meat is falling apart and the liquid is all but gone. You may need to add more stock to the pan throughout cooking.

Remove the meat from the pot to rest for five minutes before using two forks to shred the beef like you would pulled pork. Return the beef to the pan to absorb all the juices and keep warm while you prep the sandwich.

Preheat oven to 180C.

To assemble, split the buns in half and heap with a generous smear of mayonnaise. Generously top with the meat, followed by a few slices of cheese. Pop them on a lined baking sheet and cook for five minutes or so, or until the cheese has melted. Remove from the oven, top with lettuce, tomato, pickles and a generous spritz of hot sauce.

Then devour.

 

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Jericho Maloo Bonda

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2017), Australian Survivor: All Stars, Side, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 giants of the game returned to the island to get revenge, redemption or to detain their crown. John still loved speedos, Shonee is still a queen and Locky is still bae. After a gruelling opening reward challenge the Mokuta tribe got to claim a pre-built luxury camp, leaving Vakama to suffer through their first day. Thankfully though it lit a fire under them, or more specifically Locky, as he dominated the challenge and secured immunity for the flailing tribe. Back at camp Lydia quickly got to work getting revenge on Shane, rallying the numbers to take out our queen despite her valiant efforts to save herself.

The next day Mokuta were decidedly more upbeat, though mainly because Shonee was telling an iconic story where she pulled over an uber to pat a dalmation, bonding with its owner and then getting employed as his personal assistant. I mean, thank you Shonee. And thank you editors for making up for the severe lack of Shontent leading up to the season.

While everyone was falling under Shonee’s spell, Henry went slinking through the jungle to take a look at his latest idol. Rather than trying to make inroads with his tribe after isolating himself by aligning with Shane. He returned to camp and immediately started chatting to Harry by the fire, hoping to throw him off the scent that he voted for him the night before. Speaking of Harry, he got to work wooing Shonee, suggesting that the two of them should align with Nick. And just like that, I like Harry because he has exquisite taste and I want to be their best friend.

We finally checked in on Vakama where poor Locky was still rubbing his stick, desperate to start a fire while Jericho was like a phone when it is out of battery. Meaning, obviously, that he is running on empty. What a wordsmith?! While Phoebe didn’t call him out and calmly sat chatting, AK and David joined Locky to work on the fire. While once again AK grew tired of the calmness, hoping to lock in some allies and cause some chaos. The battle lines, apparently, were drawn by age lines with the old hags aligning, while the hotties – like him – all wanted to work together. Which was great for David, given he is super pretty but also almost 40. So I assume he is the swing vote, and honestly, I want to swing on him like a big old vine.

Adding to his beauty, he continued to rub his stick well into the night until finally, he got an ember and started a fire for his freezing tribe. I mean, what a beautiful provider?!

My boy Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where three people at a time from each tribe would face off on a platform at sea, working to push the others off until only their tribe remains. It was for the chance to shop at the Survivor store, getting the choice of a range of critical items to make their camp life a little bit easier. In the first round Lydia, Abbey and Sharn were shockingly destroyed by Daisy, Moana and Brooke, thanks to Daisy crushing Lydia in an iconic scene. Zach, Lee and Nick were net to wrestle Locky, Mat and David, and honestly I didn’t care who won, only that they were all writhing around with each other. After Locky pulled Mat into the water, the round was halted as Zach heard his knee pop leaving Nick to battle against Mat and David all by himself. Which was adorable, particularly when David refused to battle to give Nick a fair shot.

I mean, fucking swoon.

Queens Shonee and Michelle eventually climbed onto the platform with Abbey to battle against Jacqui, Phoebe and Flick. With Flick and Jacqui quickly taking out our Queens, Abbey and Phoebe battled for over 20 minutes, with Abbey twerking in Phoebe’s face like she was angling for a rimjob until Phoebe freed herself from her clutches. After pacing around each other, Abbey lunged at Phoebe’s jugular leading to yet another epic battle before Abbey eventually scored a point for Mokuta. The boys made a return to the fray with John, Henry and Lee facing off against Locky, David and Mat – again – leading to another stunning sight of shirtless men wrestling, with Henry showing some crack and John trying to dack his opponents before going into the drink with Mat. Locked in a hug, Henry and David decided to chat about their positions in the tribe. Much to Moana’s – who I keep forgetting is in the cast – chagrin. Ultimately David pushed Henry in, leaving Lee to fight for his tribe’s survival, ripping Locky’s shorts off to stay alive. Unaware that Locky has zero qualms about getting nude in a challenge.

After securing victory, Jonathan surprised Vakama with the twist that only two of them will be going to select their reward from the shop. With the tribe selecting Phoebe – who had never, ever won a reward – and Locky, who took off his shorts to score the win.

With the duo off shopping, the rest of Vakama returned to camp and quickly congratulated Daisy for embarrassing Lydia and Abbey in a physical challenge. Focusing on the wrong things, Jericho asked what the shop would look like before suggesting that since they were split up, they likely will be getting a dilemma. And oh my goodness, have I been too hard on Jericho because that is the perfect thing to point out after seeing the only other winner of the cast just became the first boot.

Meanwhile over at the shop Phoebe was just excited to actually win a reward before they discovered they were able to snatch five rewards, either for themselves or the entire tribe. With that, they selected the chance to invite 2 people to a reward that their tribe loses – for themselves), a flint for the tribe, a bowl of cookies … which they cracked before leaving the store like a tantruming toddler, and then a boring old tarp and some potatoes. Trust solidified, the sneaky duo returned to camp with Phoebe wisley choosing to stay quiet and let Locky tell the story. Well until Daisy, AK and Jericho started to see holes in their story, crunching the numbers and making them nervous. Which led to Locky and Phoebe relenting and telling their allies that they also received cookies, which they stashed to share with the rest of the Heathers.

Before we could find out whether they would be sprung with the cookies, my love Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where each tribe was required to run under an obstacle, up a tower and release six barrels which they would race like Sierra-Dawn Thomas Anglim before standing them on discs and tossing sacks on each of them. Once they stand them up. As prophesied by Queen Michelle, Mokuta took an early lead, motivated by their loss at the reward challenge. Mokuta continued to slowly pull away, until Vakama’s final barrel got stock in their chute. Allowing Mokuta to push further ahead, with Queens Michelle and Shonee riding a barrel like it was their throne. Vakama slowly started to close the gap until Moana slipped off her barrel, meaning Mokuta could start the sack tossing before the others had even finished the course. Despite flailing in the previous throwing challenge Lee redeemed himself, scoring the first two points, with Henry scoring another before Vakama finally joined the fray. While Mat and AK desperately tried to close the gap, the lead proved too much to overcome, with Lee and Henry scoring immunity by the skin of their teeth.

And proving Queen Michelle to be a trusted psychic.

Back at camp the tribe quickly smashed a meal before everyone started to scramble, with the Heathers excusing themselves to scramble while the olds were left back at camp to find a way to save themselves. Jericho suggested they eat all the food while they were away, which takes away from his earlier wisdom. Meanwhile over with the young’uns, they were locking in the vote against Moana who was terrible at the camp with the bonus being that it would break up her close alliance with Mat. David however wasn’t sold on the idea, feeling it was way too obvious for them and as such, suggested they too get rid of their tribe’s previous winner. The group quickly locked in the vote and split up, before Phoebe shared that she didn’t want to vote for Jericho but also didn’t want to rock the vote earlier.

Speaking of Jericho, he was rallying the minority group, suggesting that they join together to vote out Daisy. With that done and dusted, Mat and Jericho bid adieu to Jacqui, Moana and Tarzan and got to work trying to woo AK and Phoebe over to their side instead. And while Phoebe was sold on their pitch, knowing she and Daisy have no plans to work together long term, like Nick last night, she didn’t want to put her neck on the line.

At tribal council Phoebe was nervous to be back at tribal council after her losing ways on Aganoa. David felt like no time had past since his last stint at tribal council before Flick put her foot in it, saying that she is voting for who is best for ‘us’. Jericho quickly questioned who the ‘us’ are before Moana straight up pointed out the 7-5 split amongst the tribe. Phoebe tried to downplay alliances before Mat played up his loyalty, reiterating that you need strong allies to make it to the end. AK shared that he was just keeping an ear out to the answers at tribal council before making his decision, making everyone in his alliance nervous and poor Phoebe look like she wanted to throw up. Phoebe changed tact and reminded everyone that she came from the worst tribe on her season and as such, she was really focused on staying strong to avoid losing again.

Jericho played the emotional card, trying to squeeze out some tears and sharing how much he loves everyone and how sad it will be to see someone go. Surprisingly the tears made Phoebe start to feel guilty, and as such, question if she was making the right decision. With that, Moana saw hope – get it? – and told Jonathan that the tribe would be going to vote before the opportunity passed themselves by. With that, Jonathan heeded her advice and the tribe voted, with the Heathers winning the battle and sending the only remaining victor from the game.

While I wasn’t his biggest fan in his first season – I mean, he was competing for my affections with Locky so never stood a chance – I truly felt sorry for him as he wandered into Loser Lodge. I mean, as soon as he saw Shane had gotten the boot you could see that he knew he would be following her straight out the door. As such, I pulled him in close, apologised for being harsh, threw out a confusing metaphor and then whipped out a big ol’ plate of Jericho Maloo Bonda.

 

 

Essentially the Indian equivalent of his first season’s victory meal, bondas are gloriously crisp balls of fluffy, spicy potato. Do you even need me to say anything else to convince you? Get thee to a kitchen, stat!

Enjoy!

 

 

Jericho Maloo Bonda
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
6 potatoes, peeled, boiled and mashed
olive oil, to taste
2 onions, diced
2 green chillies, diced
2 tsp ginger
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 lemons, zested and juiced
2 cups rice flour
salt and pepper, to tase

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Heat a good lug of olive oil in a large saucepan and sweat the onions for five minutes, or until semi-translucent. Add the ginger, chilli and chilli flakes and cook for a further minute. Remove from heat and stir through the lemon zest and juice.

Place the pre-mashed potato into a large bowl and add the zesty onion mix and rice flour. Season and stir with the wooden spoon until it is well combined.

Form into balls, somewhere between the size of golf balls and tennis balls, and transfer to a lined baking sheet until all the mixture is done.

Drizzle with oil and transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Devour with some raita, in a state of mixed-metaphor bliss.

 

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