Chilli

Kass Breakfastarache Hot Dog

Australian Survivor, Breakfast, Burgers, Sandwich, Survivor: Australia V The World, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribe were tasked with an epic, immunity challenge where they had to hold up fifteen percent of their starting body weights. And while everyone kind of struggled to even get started, Kass and Parvati Kass and Parvati’ed, beasting their way to the end. And while JLP tried to remind them of a certain deal between them during the last endurance challenge, Parvati shushed him not long before dropping willingly. Without Parvati immune, she immediately started to grow more and more nervous that people were coming for her. She and Kirby started to flirt – hard – with the latter growing more and more nervous about Parvati not trusting her. And while they were busy assuring each other they were good, Janine rallied Cirie and the World tribe to band together to send Kirby to the jury. With the help of Parvati, no less. Leaving her heartbroken, alongside her former ride or die.

Back at camp Luke quickly congratulated the World tribe for banding together and blindsiding Kirby, even though it meant he continued his record of voting incorrectly. Parvati, meanwhile, was more heartbroken than jubilant, feeling like it was a move that was too early, even though it needed to be made. Kass and Cirie caught up and while the former was shocked to have pulled it off, Cirie laughed about not being shocked in the slightest. Well, except for the two votes that landed on her at tribal council. She caught up with Janine, who assured her that Luke and Shonee would not have done it unless someone told them to. And as Cirie slept, Janine quickly grabbed Luke to tell him to apologise and apologise quickly. The next morning, he did just that, pulling Cirie aside to apologise and tell her that he and Shonee were just following where they thought the numbers were. Which was Kass, Tommi and Lisa’s plan. And while Cirie wasn’t sure she could trust Luke, she did feel like she could trust Janine, so accepted his apology but vowed to us that she was keeping her eyes open.

Kass meanwhile was over the moon to be free of Kirby, and that Cirie and Parvati proved their loyalty to the international trio. After the three caught up and hugged, everyone came together at camp for Kass to read the scroll she won at the immunity challenge. Which ended up being an afternoon of luxury at a sunset spa with three people of her choosing. With her opting to take Parvati, Cirie and Tommi. This hilariously infuriated Shonee who was desperate to go, vowing to Luke and Janine that they will stick together and find a way to the end. The first step was to smash the locked box open, with them quickly discovering it was empty, meaning they now know that someone on the World tribe had the idol. Which made it even more of an uphill battle.

We checked in on the spa where they cracked some champagne to toast themselves before washing off and smashing some snacks. Filling Kass with confidence, given she is a challenge beast, has an idol and clean hair. They sat down to talk through plans for the upcoming tribal council, with Kass and Tommi promising Cirie that it was not their idea, but Luke and Shonee’s. Which tragically made them all realise that Shonee is actually the biggest threat and as such, needs to be dealt with ASAP. Which, obviously, sucks. Parvati meanwhile was delighted to be on the reward, given Kass clearly trusts her. She caught up with Cirie, filling her in on her idol and advantage, while poor Kass and Tommi searched the spa for anything.

My love Jonathan made his debut in the episode for the latest immunity challenge where they would each fill a leaky bucket with water to balance a table, on which they had to build a literal house of cards. Aka making an already difficult challenge even harder. Luke was first to place a tile, however it immediately fell as his table was knocked over. Tommi stacked a few, wisely making sure his bucket was full at all times. Janine started to close the gap alongside Parvati, while everyone else kept knocking their table over. After ten minutes, Tommi was well and truly in front, and while Parvati and Janine were still nipping at his heels, they both dropped, leaving Tommi plenty of time to jag individual immunity and guarantee himself a spot in the final seven.

Back at camp everyone was quick to congratulate Tommi. Well, except for the Aussies, who were clearly dejected and feeling a little bit screwed. The World tribe all split up, leaving the Aussies back at camp to figure out what the hell they could do, with Luke admitting that the only thing they can do is to work with anyone that is willing to make a move. The internationals meanwhile locked in their Shonee vote, which instantly made me disappointed in Parvati and Cirie. The longer the internationals stayed away, Shonee and Janine grew more and more nervous about not having any time to scramble, so ventured into the jungle to chat. Janine caught up with Kass and Tommi who told her that they hadn’t decided, while Lisa told Shonee she couldn’t tell her, while Cirie returned to camp and told Luke they hadn’t locked anything in.

Thankfully Luke was able to catch up with Tommi, who admitted that he would be keen to make a move and was keen to talk. As such, he pulled Lisa and Kass aside and suggested that since the Aussies are desperate to survive, now would be the best time to get rid of Parvati. As she is the biggest threat, and they need to cut Parvati and Cirie at some point, so they may as well do it now. Which Lisa agreed with. But only if he could rally the numbers. 

Sadly for him, Lisa admitted to us that she is not actually sure it is the best move for her right now. As such, she took Shonee and Luke aside to confirm whether they were actually down. And while they all locked it in, it was all in front of Parvati and Cirie, who started to worry something was up. As Lisa, Shonee and Luke continued to talk, they agreed it was good to go. Well, until Lisa said she was not actually voting for Parvati, though is 100% on board with the move. Which instantly rubbed Luke and Shonee the wrong way. As such, they caught up with Janine and agreed that they couldn’t trust Lisa. While Parvati just knew that the vibes were off and as such, she was ready to play her idol should she need it.

At tribal council Janine and Luke immediately started whispering about the Parvati vote, with Janine telling him that there are enough people for them to flip and get rid of Lisa instead. After JLP called out the chat, Parvati admitted that she is super nervous and as such, she was looking for a place among the chaos too. She pulled Kass aside to talk, while Janine rallied the Aussie and suggested they should all pile on Lisa. Meanwhile Kass assured Parvati that neither she nor Cirie are targets and as such, they all headed to sit down. Though not before Parv pulled out her idol and promised she will be playing it for herself or Cirie tonight. 

This spooked Kass who asked if Parvati was sticking with the plan, with Parv loudly telling her she is definitely not, as the vibes are off with the internationals. Particularly Lisa, who assured her that she is the only one that hasn’t pitched a move. Luke then told Parvati that they are definitely plotting against her, with Parv agreeing that she could tell. Kass and Parvati then caught up, with the former assuring her that the vote was Shonee. Cirie caught up with the Aussies to talk a Lisa vote, while Tommi assured Parvati that he was voting Shonee, before Cirie told Parvati to vote Lisa and that they would all survive. Kass then joined them and tried to keep it on Shonee before everyone finally sat down again.

Luke then went to town, talking about everything that happened with Lisa and dropped the bomb that the only reason she wasn’t keen to vote Parvati herself, was that she wanted to stay aligned with Cirie. And this isn’t the first time the internationals have pitched him a plan, which Janine reminded Luke. As he reiterated that it was them that told him and Shonee to vote for Cirie, Kass and Tommi desperately tried to get Cirie to believe them, while she couldn’t even look them in the eye. Given Cirie felt like Luke’s story is too elaborate to be a lie. Kass tried to call out the Aussies for being desperate and saying anything, as Luke doubled down and said that they weren’t willing to play with them at camp, so they had to make moves at tribal council. He then caught up with Parvati and Cirie, as the trio debated the merits of getting rid of Lisa or Kass.

While the internationals agreed that they had to stick together, Shonee and JLP started chatting about the confusion, before she joined the Aussie and US summit as they locked in a vote against Kass. Everyone finally sat down, with Kass desperately trying to assure Cirie that they had been aligned from day one and she wasn’t turning on her. Lisa and Parvati then caught up, with Lisa throwing Tommi under the bus and telling her it was he and Kass pushing her name. And while Parvati assured her that she wasn’t the vote, she told her to just vote Shonee. Kass then asked what the chat was about, with Parvati telling her and Cirie it was to confirm the blindside story.

As is her way this season, Parvati told Jonathan she was ready to vote, as Luke desperately told Parvati that the internationals will not take her to the end and as such, she needs to think long and hard about the vote. Which she assured him that she had. With that the tribe voted and after all the chaos and whispering, Kass whipped out her idol, leading Parvati to pull out her advantage. And while it wasn’t even the time she could play the advantage, it was effective at showing Parvati where the votes were going, as Kass played the idol for Lisa, who did not receive a single vote, and instead, the iconic – and legendaire – Kass was booted from the game. As she assured Parvati she was with her.

Kass followed by heaving sobs all the way to the Jury Villa, thrilled that while she was booted, she had clearly made an impact on the demo that matters most – the gays. I assured her that while she entered the season as one of the unknowns, she walks away an absolute legend and I can’t wait to see her in another international showdown. As she is definitely destined to win a season eventually. And in the interim – sorry to be brief, I had a lot of visitors this day – she could heal her wounds with a piping hot Kass Breakfastarache Hot Dog.

I know this may not appear to be such an innovative dish, but honestly, this feels like my opus. I love sausage, I love buns, I love breakfast, I love eggs, I love hollandaise, I love cheese – do you get the picture? I love it all. And this, most of all.

Enjoy!

Kass Breakfastarache Hot Dog
Serves: 3-6.

Ingredients
500g pork mince
1 onion, finely diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
a couple of sage leaves, finely chopped
1 tbsp flat leaf parsley, finely chopped
1 tbsp dried chilli flakes
pinch of nutmeg
good whack of salt and pepper
6 rashers streaky bacon
100g haloumi, sliced
12 eggs, whisked
2 tbsp butter
6 hot dog rolls
½-1 cup Hollandaise Taylor
Slash Browns, to serve

Method
Combine the mince, onion, garlic, sugar, sage, parsley, chilli, nutmeg, salt and pepper in a large bowl and scrunch with your hands until well combined. Divide the mixture into 6 sausage shapes.

Pop a large skillet over medium heat and cook the breakfast sausages for a few minutes each side – sausages have four sides, right? – or until cooked through. Transfer them to a plate and cook the bacon and haloumi until they are crispy on both sides, before transferring them to a plate. Add the butter in the skillet and when melted and foamy, add the eggs and scramble.

To assemble, split the buns down the middle and pop a rasher on bacon on the bottom. Top with haloumi and eggs, followed by the sausage and the hollandaise. Before devouring, like a queen, with a plate of piping hot Slash Browns.


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Kweensland Do(n)g

Burgers, Main, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the top four took a back seat as the eliminated queens returned for the chance to be crowned the global lip sync assassin. Tragically, to only RuPaul songs. Two by two they battled off until only Soa and Gala remained. And while Gala continued to serve sex all over the stage – flooding all of the basements in the process – it was the iconic Soa who dominated, taking out the title. And most importantly, the $50k she so rightly deserved.

The next day the top four were primed and ready to compete for the crown, with Kween overwhelmed, hungry, horny and ready for the crown. No doubt because of Gala’s lip sync. Kitty was focused on the cash, ready to buy some wigs and go on holiday, while Nelly would like to help her family and make a difference. While Alyssa just mentioned she has been doing it for 23 years, which reminded Nelly that she is very old. Ru then dropped by to announce that for the final challenge of the season, the finalists would star in the music video for new drag anthem, Dance Like The World Is Watching. After writing and recording verses, and catching up over a tic tac lunch.

After Ru disappeared, the dolls split up to work through their lyrics with Kitty charmed by her own, Kween Kong was feeling like she was finally in her lane while Nelly was just bricking it about singing in English. Talk turned to the video clip with Alyssa opening up about loving performing with her kids at Beyond Belief and how she wants the choreo to be something they could do. She and Nelly spoke about how much they were looking forward to making their debut while Kween was just grateful to finally believe she deserves to be a finalist. Nelly started to break down, overwhelmed to be the last international queen standing and proud about how hard she has worked.

We pivoted to the tic tac lunches where Kitty opened up about feeling like she deserves to be here because she has had to fight hard to make it through every challenge. And that she is now ready for whatever is next in her career. She spoke about how much lip syncing lit a fire under her, never believing it whenever she heard that from other contestants. Nelly on the other hand was a ball of sweetness, hoping to be an inspiration for kids in Italy and proud to push through her nerves and self-doubt to make it to the end. Kween was so excited to have had a second chance at the competition, given she felt like the first season is what shaped her into the queen she is now. Before straight up bribing the judges with hand-made jewellery from her mum and aunties. Rounding out the chats was the one and only Alyssa Edwards and honestly, it felt like a victory lap. She admitted that she was worried that she would be competing against the judges expectations of what 23 years of experience should look like. Ru then started to break down calling her a star and yep, condragulations Alyssa, condragulations.

We pivoted to filming the TikTok numbers where Alyssa gave an OG Haus of Edwards dance, Kitty was keeping it simple, Nelly was hoping to challenge the children before Jamal helped remind Kween that she is a dancer, though the people at home are not, so she should keep it simple.

Coronation Day arrived with the top four splitting up to beat their mugs for the final time, with Alyssa giddy to have finally made it. Kween spoke about how shocked she is to be competing with Alyssa, while Kitty shared she would be happy with any of them winning. But happier for her, obvi. The eliminated queens then dropped by one final time, with Kween opening up to her sisters about how emotional she is given how far she has come since her first season. Nelly admitted that while she is an underdog for the crown, she is not going down without a fight before it all just became a love fest TBH.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the iconic Ariadna Gutiérrez-Arévalo as the eliminated queens opened the Best Drag On Earth runway. Athena was absolutely stunning in a couture white gown and yeah, she ate as the sexiest jellyfish. Miranda was stunning in a vibrant blue feathered gown, Eva was a golden goddess phoenix, Soa was a gorgeous musketeer, Gala was a beautiful volcanic mess, Pythia was a glamorous three-headed dog, Vanity was a stunning, studded icon and Tessa looked like a pretty version of the ugly step-sisters. The top four then arrived to devour, with Alyssa giving a glamorous purple ruffled gown, giving all the leg. Kitty wore an ill-fitting pink vinyl gown inspired by Barbie, Kween gave Polynesian Princess and looked glorious, before Nelly closed the show in a sweet, puffy, lavender gown.

In the film clip, the inclusion of the Pit Crew made me super distracted but as usual, it was kinda cringe. Though they all did a solid job of the dancing, except for Kitty. 

The judges heaped Alyssa with all of the praise, reminding her that she set the bar back in week one and has met it every one since. And she did the best at creating a dance that people would be able to mimic at home. Kitty was praised for how much she has grown and elevated since her first season, and for having fun in the video. Kween was praised for giving all the swag on the video, and for being so open and vulnerable throughout the entire season. And for doing her family proud with her kindness and the way she wants to help the next generation. Nelly meanwhile was encouraged to always believe in herself because she proved, week after week, that she is a star.

Ru then challenged the girls to answer why the world needs drag more than ever. Alyssa spoke about how she wanted to inspire queer small town kids to believe. Kitty spoke about the freedom that comes from self-expression and how it opened up her world and filled it with so much joy. Kween spoke about the fact it builds a safe world for people like us, while Nehellenia spoke about the power it has.

Backstage the dolls were shocked to have done all that they could to make it to the final lip sync, with Alyssa toasting them for being such incredible competition and being on the journey with her. Though admitted this was her time. The eliminated queens joined them, with Kween talking about being in tears all day, given how kind the judges have been. Nelly was thrilled to be strong enough to make it to the end, while Kitty spoke about how hard it is to hear all the compliments.

Before we got to the final lip sync, we learnt that the eliminated dolls had one final crown to win – Miss Congeniality. Now known as Miss Global Peacemaker, which once again went to Soa De Muse, earning her another $10k. And honestly, it is what she deserves. After pushing the eliminated quens off stage, Ru announced that everyone in the top four would be lip syncing for the crown, solo, and damn were Alyssa and Kween fired up for that crown. As soon as my girl Gaga’s Bad Romance kicked off, they were spitting fire and hitting every line. While Kitty gave comedy and Nelly was busy stripping, it was clear the choreographers were desperate to win the crown. And win a crown one of them did, as the one and only, always and forever Alyssa Edwards was crowned. Leaving Down Under’s own Kween Kong to settle for being a double runner-up like her sister Hannah.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her for making Australia and New Zealand proud. While she didn’t snatch the crown, she truly did dominate the season week after week – which is not something all of the finalist’s can say, despite placing in the top all season. She didn’t love me trash talking her sisters, but gave me her signature chuckle and thanked me for once again supporting her. I told her how great it was to see her so relaxed this season, and how it made her perform so much better. And more than earn a big, fat Kweensland Do(n)g.

While the name makes it sound super smutty, this is simply a hot dog. Which I guess is kinda smutty, but once again, I digress. The sticky, sweet chilli pineapple works perfectly with the smooth cream cheese and rich pork, warming your soul in the process.

Enjoy!

Kweensland Do(n)g
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
400g can sliced pineapple slices, juices drained and reserved
½ cup muscovado sugar
2 red chillis, trimmed and sliced
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
salt and pepper, to taste
4 hot dog rolls
4 thick pork sausages
½ cup cream cheese
2 shallots, sliced

Method
Pop the oil in frying pan over medium heat and cook the pineapple for a few minutes each side, until nice and charred and caramel. Remove from the heat and roughly chop.

In the same pan, add the sugar and pineapple juice, and stir until the sugar dissolves. Increase heat, bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes, or until it thickens and is a rich caramel. Add the chilli and stir for a minute, before adding the pineapple and vinegar. Remove from the heat, season and set aside.

While the pineapple rests, cook the sausages a few minutes each side over medium heat or until cooked through.

To assemble, split the buns, smear with some cream cheese, top with the sausages and a good sprinkle of the chilli and the shallots. Then wrap your lips around it and go to town. Also known as devouring.


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Herby Bentllia Chips

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Side, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Kirby was feeling left right out so got to work with the smartest move, playing on Kitty’s guilt. Thankfully for her, however, it wasn’t ultimately necessary as she ended up securing her own safety with immunity. Buying her more time for her bromance with Feras to flourish. They locked in a Kitty blindside with Ray and Mark, while unbeknownst to Mark, Caroline had plans of her own. You see, she thought the target was Mark and after finding the idol, she wanted to make a big move of playing it to save him and get rid of Feras instead. Mainly to impress Alex, it seems. Sadly for her, however, the Rebels and Mark instead found Kitty’s endurance strength to be more threatening and she was blindsided instead.

Back at camp Mark rightly questioned why Caroline didn’t think to warn him about her plans so he could have voted with her and Kitty. Even though we know the answer is that Caroline wanted a move of one’s own. Feras meanwhile spoke about how nervous he was to see her pull out the idol, while everyone agreed they were just grateful to still be in the game. Feras then went stargazing with Ray and Kirby, talking about how he could use his idol to get all of them to the final four. Which means something is totally getting in the way of this plan, right?

The next day the former Titans were catching up in the hammock while the Rebels simultaneously worried about what they were planning and wondering why they weren’t idol hunting. Caroline and Mark knew they were on a sinking ship, though the latter suggested that he would still like Kirby out next. Whether Feras and her are actually besties now or not. Finally realising an idol had probably been rehidden, Caroline suggested they both get hunting which made the Rebels even more nervous. As such, Feras decided that he should hide the remains of his second idol for Ray to find to both protect his legit bestie and trick the other two into stopping their hunt. And given the plan relies on Ray’s acting, I see this coming together perfectly.

Everyone split up in the jungle to hunt, allowing Ray to take on his latest role, finding and hiding his non-idol in a way that draws attention. And honestly, watching the heartache on Mark and Caroline’s faces as they watched him find the non-idol made me feel so bad. But given how it fired up Mark to win immunity, I still feel uneasy about this backfiring. Particularly since the ads have been pushing us this way, though let us not forget Sue’s big move.

The final five caught up with JLP for the aforementioned immunity challenge where they would have to roll balls down an apparatus – adding more over time – with the last person standing without dropping winning. Kirby sadly added her second ball way too closely to the first, though managed to save herself from certain doom and make it through to adding her third. Caroline made the same mistake on ball three which saw her become the first one out. Adding the fourth ball is where things got extra spicy, immediately costing Kirby. Much to the delight of Caroline. Ray then dropped trying to pick up the pace, leaving Mark and Feras to battle it out until the latter dropped out of nowhere handing Mark immunity. Just as the Rebels didn’t want.

Back at camp the mood well and truly flipped, as the Rebels were stressed AF while the Titans were rather delighted. Feras was upset about always being a bridesmaid in the challenges, on top of the fact that Mark was their target. Knowing Kirby was more likely to take him to the end than Caroline, Feras got to work trying to get Mark on board to get her out instead. He wisely approached him asking who he wanted to see go, with Mark pointing out Kirby is the obvious winner and as such, needs to be clipped before she wins out to the end. Feras took this information to Ray, who agreed that Kirby really is too big of a threat and as such, he would probably vote with the Titans.

Caroline and Kirby caught up, realising it was between them, despite neither of them wanting it to end like that. Kirby moved on to Mark, talking about how she is well aware that it is likely she will be going home tonight. Knowing Ray was the most obvious swing vote, she approached Ray to see what he was thinking. And as he flipped his coconut on to the beach accidentally, he assured her he is still Rebels strong. As such, Kirby went to talk to Feras to see whether she could actually trust Ray. Kirby pointed out that if she goes home tonight, Feras is the obvious next target and as such, gave a hail Mary in asking him to play his idol for her. And damn, her arguments are so solid, I would genuinely consider it if I was him, despite it guaranteeing him second place.

I mean, if I win you win? What a line.

Feras then approached Mark to see what he said to Kirby, with Mark admitting that he didn’t see a point lying and as such, admitted she was too much of a threat. Mark then got to work trying to lock Feras in as an ally to get rid of Kirby tonight, with him happily locking in a final three deal. Which sounds like a grab from the next episode, but I digress. Nervous about the Mark deal, Feras pulled Caroline aside to see what she was thinking, with her straight up admitting she would gladly cut Mark at final four should he not win immunity. Which again, is the very obvious thing you would say at this point of the game. The Rebels caught up one final time, with Kirby pointing out that if she goes next, the two of them will go out back-to-back barring immunity.

At tribal council Mark spoke about how grateful he is to be immune, as right on cue, Feras and Ray proved how stressful things are by whispering about what to do. Feras then spoke to the crew about feeling disappointed to have missed out on immunity, though isn’t too concerned given he has an idol. Mark talked about Caroline having a target as one of the two people without immunity, before not-so-subtly pitching to Feras and Ray about getting rid of a threat, rather than someone that would drag them to the end as goats. Feras advocated about keeping a shield around for just a little bit longer, leading to Mark and Caroline pointing out that the time to get rid of the threats is actually now, given there are three sleeps left. Kirby admitted that she knows she is only here because of her immunity wins as people are scared of her game, with Feras showboating for the jury, talking about how he isn’t scared, as maybe the jury just hasn’t seen all of his moves yet.

As Ray spoke about how the jury could respect different things, Feras popped his idol on leading to a lot of giggles as Mark pointed out that Ray also found an idol. While he joked about waiting for the right time to whip it out, rather than wearing it as he wants his moment. Not because it isn’t real. Kirby spoke about fighting for every moment she has had in the game, which lead to Caroline pointing out she has also fought hard and given her all, despite not taking out any immunities. Mark looked on as Feras looked stressed at Kirby, whispering for him to hold firm and make the smart move. With that the tribe voted and while we don’t know if it will come back to bite him, Ray admitted he didn’t actually have an idol and Feras said it was actually just his that they re-hid before saying that Kirby’s fate rests with this idol too. And after telling her she is like a sister to him, played it for himself as Kirby was tragically booted from the game.

Kirby followed my sobs all the way to the Jury Villa. While she took her boot in stride, I didn’t take it as well, heartbroken to have ended the season long feud with Feras just short of the finale. I get Feras and Ray made the right move in voting with the Titans, but I was still sad to see it end so soon. But alas, a big bowl of Herby Bentllia Chips and a hug from Kirby made me feel infinitely better.

These chips are so easy yet so delicious, they should be a crime. This Half-Baked Harvest rework is so delicious – almost a fusion between italian and mexican, they are perfect by themselves or with a rich guac or whipped feta. 

Enjoy!

Herby Bentllia Chips
Serves: 2 *best* friends.

Ingredients
1 tbsp Parmesan cheese, grated
½ tsp dried oregano
½ tsp dried parsley 
½ tsp dried crushed rosemary
½ tsp chilli flakes
¼ tsp garlic powder
⅛ tsp kosher salt
black pepper
2 small flour tortillas
2 tsp olive oil

Method
Combine the parmesan, oregano, parsley, rosemary, chilli, garlic powder, salt and pepper in a small bowl. 

Cut the tortillas into 8 wedges each, brush with the oil and place on a lined baking sheet. Add the seasoning, and toss to coat before arranging on a single layer. Pop in the oven and bake for 5-10 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove from the oven to cool into a nice crunch for about 5 minutes. Then, and only then, devour.


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Vietnamese Riannoodle Bowleys

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Alex invited Kirby on reward to try and finally win her over. I’m not sure how almost slicing off his nipples factored into his plans, but while shaving his chest, he sure gave it a red hot go. After Ri narrowly beat him at the third endurance immunity challenge, he tried to rally the boys to come together to make a move against Kirby, deciding they needed Caroline on board to take her out. Though specifically not Kitty, given she had grown close with Kirby. There was also a plan to take out Ray which was born at the reward, though TBH, I’m not sure how close that ever was to eventuating. Alex then read everyone for filth at tribal council and in the process, turned everyone against him, so they banded together to boot him. Either as planned, or instead of their other blindsides.

The next day Ray, Kirby, Ri and Kitty hung out by the fire in silence, with Kirby in particular feeling stressed, given she can no longer fly under the radar. Kitty and Kirby spoke about how aggressively Alex played at tribal council, and as such, nobody wanted to work with him because of it. Kirby and Ri went for a walk to talk about their exact level of being screwed, with them deciding that the only way to get the target off themselves is to give everyone a better option. Quickly deciding Mark needs to go. As such, Kirby caught up with Caroline and suggested she would gladly do whatever she wants at the next tribal council. And when Caroline offered up Mark, what do you know, she was super keen. Caroline told us that she truly is concerned about building her resume, and knew that partnering with Kirby could be the ticket to making hers unbeatable.

Kirby meanwhile went to check in with Feras, with him asking if she is nervous after everything Alex said. Feras straight up told her that he doesn’t think he needs to get rid of her yet, though in two episodes, he will probably have a crack. Feras wisely, and calmly, spoke about happily voting out Mark, before talking about how they need to figure out whether they want to move forward with their allies, or whether they should look at who they could beat. With Kirby straight up suggesting her ideal final two would be her and Feras, given it would be the biggest competition and she could then say she beat the best. Feras then went for a wander with Ray, who wisely cautioned that Kirby is obviously going to say that to him, given she knows she is the one to beat. So she won’t care who she sits next to. And just like that, operation take down Kirby was back on.

As Mark, Kitty, Ri and Kirby frolicked in the ocean, Caroline got back to Pat Mullins-ing, telling us that she and Kitty are focused on keeping Ri and Kirby close enough so they will be able to get rid of Mark, given it is all she has wanted since the swap. Feras meanwhile was busy fishing, talking about how it is clear that Kirby is nervous and as such, he is confident that she is busy building a female alliance. As such, he pulled Caroline aside to run interference, telling her that Kirby told him about the all women alliance, but cautioned her plan was to get rid of Caroline next. And while it wasn’t true, it worked and Caroline was ready to chop Kirby and/or Ri. Feras then looped in Mark and Ray, while Kirby took over the watching game from Caroline, and seeing all the chats made her super nervous. Caroline then caught up with Kirby and was so friendly and high-pitched, it was clear to her that Caroline was just lying to her to keep her placated.

That night Kirby lay awake, overwhelmed by how much she is loving the game and how she will do anything to stay. As such, she woke up Feras and said that she would happily vote out Ri if it means he will keep her around. He then admitted that he has definitely heard her name being thrown around, and sadly, doesn’t see a way to stop it. Unless everyone loads up on Ri, obviously!

The tribe met up with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to stack a series of blocks on a plank and get them to fall like dominoes at the end. Sadly, they would also be holding a weight the entire time, and if they don’t keep it high enough, it would knock over the blocks. Almost instantly Ray and Feras knocked over their first block, as everyone struggled to get their eye in. As is oft the case the challenge was back and forth as people would start to make progress and then drop, or in Feras’ case, the wind would just blow over his blocks. Ri got out to a lead before she dropped, allowing Kitty and Kirby to power ahead, until one of Kitty’s ended up on the ground and she thought she was out of them. Which was all it took for Kirby to finish her stack, however sadly for her, they weren’t close enough, causing her to rebuild. This led to Ray, Ri and Kitty closing the gap before Kirby rebuilt and ended up falling just one short. Kitty then tried and failed, Ray tried and failed before Kirby tried one final time and finally jagged immunity.

Before she broke down in tears, wandered off to the shore and we skipped JLP popping the necklace around her neck.

Back at camp Feras and his allies quickly pivoted and locked in the plan for Ri, while Kirby tried for one last ditch attempt at getting rid of Mark. As such, she pulled Feras aside to point out that Ray and Ri just follow whatever they do but haven’t actually done anything. And as such, it is unwise of them to get rid of Ri or Ray yet, given they need them to stop the Titans from picking them off. The Titans all disappeared from camp at the same time, with Ri telling Kirby and Feras she knows she is at least copping a few votes. Ri then caught up with Kitty who straight up flubbed and told her that she would be voting for her. She then asked Caroline, whose voice went up an octave, which was the tell that it was a lie. Kirby then caught up with Kitty and Caroline, with them once again assuring her they would like to get Mark. However this time, it inspired her to flip, given the Ri vote is following the group, but she desperately wants a move on her resume, and as such, was thinking Mark was the smarter choice for her.

At tribal council Feras spoke about how busy Kirby has been back at camp after Alex’s explosive exit at the last tribal council. Caroline spoke about how it broke the tribe apart, with literally everyone reassessing how they would make it to the end. Kirby spoke about feeling the need to win immunity today, and literally all the others, as she is on display, but trust and believe, she will always fight to stay whether she has a necklace or not. Ri spoke about how happy she was to see Kirby win, though was disappointed to know it meant she is likely copping votes. She then pointed out that while she is a challenge threat, people should also look at what people are doing back at camp. Which Mark agreed was the case, going so far as to say challenges won’t win the game. This led to a little back and forth between them, trying to get the target off themselves.

Kirby turned everyone’s attention to resume building and how hard they are all working, not just to get to the end, but to be in a winning position. She then doubled down, talking about how she firmly believes that she wants to face off against the best at the end, and while it was heartfelt, Feras laughed about wanting a fun resume and that anything can deliver a win. Mark pointed out that the tribe is well and truly full of threats, though they really need to articulate things well. Ri then whispered to Kirby that they’re good, with Kirby whispering to Feras to write down Mark’s name. And while JLP called it out, they moved on as Caroline spoke about focusing on making it to the end. With that the tribe voted and despite her confidence, the tribe banded together to boot Ri. 

As she arrived at the Jury Villa I pulled Ri in and shook her hand, congratulating her on aligning with an icon and killing the endurance challenges. Specifically the ones in that frame contraption. While I’m sure she did a lot more than we were shown, poor Ri was just kind of there and while I’d love to praise her game, I just don’t know what hers was. And as such, I gave her a pat on the back, served her some Vietnamese Riannoodle Bowleys and moved on.

Unlike Ri’s edit, these bowls pack a punch and are in your face. Spicy, fresh and oh-so-more-ish, they’re the perfect thing to whip up when you’re starving and can’t decide what you want to eat.

Enjoy!

Vietnamese Riannoodle Bowleys
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp minced lemongrass
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped
3 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp honey
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
3 tbsp fish sauce
500g chicken thighs, sliced
½ cup water
3 tbsp caster sugar
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 bird’s eye chilli, thinly sliced
4 Bruce Springsteen Rolls
200g rice vermicelli noodles
sesame oil
1 head butter lettuce, roughly chopped
1 carrot, peeled and julienned
1 cucumber, julienned
1 capsicum, sliced
½ cup roasted peanuts, roughly chopped
coriander and mint leaves, to taste

Method
Combine the lemongrass, garlic, coriander, soy, honey, muscovado and 1 tablespoon of the fish sauce in a large bowl with the chicken thighs. Cover and pop in the fridge to marinate for a few hours. 

While the chicken is getting juiced, combine the water, caster sugar, lime juice and bird’s eye chilli with the remaining fish sauce in a jug. Whisk, cover and pop in the fridge to come together.

When you’re getting hungry, cook the spring rolls as per Bruce’s recipe and the rice noodles per packet directions, and prep the veg for the bowls.

Heat a large skillet over medium heat and add a good lug of sesame oil. When shimmering and fragrant, add the chicken and stir fry for a few minutes, or until cooked through. Add all the marinade and continue to cook until it is sticky and caramelised on the outside.

To assemble, pop some lettuce in the bowl, topped by the noodles. Arrange the veg together, cut up the spring rolls and place next to the veg before popping the chicken in the final third. Sprinkle with peanuts and herbs, followed by a generous splash of the dressing. And then devour.


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Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pizza, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the Middle Aged Mafia were out to get revenge on Val and Mark, after they had tried (and failed) to get rid of Kitty at the tribal council before. After a hard fought battle, Ri won immunity over the other challenge beast of the season, Aileen, making her feel super smug and confident about her place in the tribe. Despite the fact she has essentially bumbled through despite herself, thus far. Kirby, Val and Mark locked in a vote against Caroline to surprise the opposition, when they would assume Kitty is still their target. While Caroline and Kitty instead tried to woo Feras to get rid of Winna. And given Winna was rude to Feras and Aileen, they gladly joined because the theme of the season is revenge. Alex and Ri were given hinky votes, to ensure a majority, leaving them and Jaden very surprised as Winna went home.

The next day things were still rainy and miserable, unless you were Kitty and Caroline, who were thrilled to have survived and taken control with Feras. We flashed back to the night before where the trio locked in an alliance, vowing not to let anyone else get in their ears and to ride it to the end. Caroline approached Mark to confront him, cussing him out for the fact he keeps gunning for her, assuring him that she has never thrown his name out. When she has, multiple times. In the cold light of day, however, she was more hurt by Valeria’s comments at tribal, as she called her worthless and weak. As Valeria caught up with Ri, Kirby and Aileen to tell them she never said anything mean at tribal, so feels really good. 

Eden and Raymond were busy serving Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, commenting on how rude Valeria was at tribal council and how the tribe is now in chaos. As Alex comforted Caroline in the shelter, Eden decided it was time to wake Jaden up and get him to stop singing and being a delight, and instead, play the game. First step being to reunite the Titans, and play the middle until all the Rebels are gone (which is also the Rebels plan). Leaving Feras as long as possible as a shield, and instead targeting people like Raymond. So apologies Eden, but I have no choice but to cancel my stan card as nobody comes for my King. Next step for Eden’s flop plan was to pull Mark aside and float it, with Mark reiterating that Kitty and Caroline hate him, so it is kind of pointless.

The tribe met up with JLP for the reward challenge where they would compete in stages. In round one they would split into two teams, racing to use water to fill buckets to release a gate. Stage two they would form two smaller teams to use monkey fists to release nine flags to progress, while the final three would race to solve a puzzle. With the winner jagging a car and an Aussie BBQ to celebrate, though tragically being cursed into losing the game. Alex quickly got his eye in for the blue team, getting the rest to fill buckets while he filled the bigger buckets, which proved effective, meaning Mark, Kitty and Valeria, and Eden, Caroline and Alex faced off in round two. Once again Alex and Eden slayed, while Caroline struggled and madly tried to release her flags. Sadly that was all it took for Mark, Valeria and Kitty to overtake and move on to round three. Which Mark absolutely dominated, handing him a car but ruling him out as our winner, I’m afraid.

After sobbing though his victory, he was given the chance to bring someone along to enjoy the reward, locking in Kitty and then Valeria, given they were both in the final round. JLP then let him pick one more, with him opting for Caroline, which immediately spooked all the Rebels into realising something was afoot. While Valeria looked ready to kill him.

Back at camp the losers rallied around, heartbroken to be starving and carless. Ri and Alex lead the tribe in talking about how odd Mark’s choices were, given it clearly pointed out that they were hoping to make some moves at the next tribal council. Though I think Eden was potentially just jealous he wasn’t eating, as the rest of the tribe laughed about Caroline and Valeria’s tension. Speaking of which, we checked in with the world’s most awkward BBQ as Valeria and Caroline refused to even look at each other, and Mark tried to get everyone to see they needed to work together. But first, they had to clear the air. Valeria kicked things off explaining why Caroline is weak, namely her emotions. Given she didn’t apologise, Caroline wasn’t thrilled and rightly pointed out it is the harshest thing anyone has ever said to her. With Valeria eventually, finally, apologising. Before they all agreed to wipe the slate clean and have new beginnings.

As Caroline told us she still doesn’t trust Mark. Ugh.

That night as the tribe slept, Jaden couldn’t sleep, so instead got to working out and vowed to us that he is ready to avenge Winna and take control. Making the most of the fact everyone is underestimating him. As he promised Eden he is going to win the next immunity challenge, he somehow time travelled and manifested JLP for the very thing. Where they would each have to balance an idol on a pole, which they would slowly have to extend over time. Everyone made it through to their fourth length of pole before Caroline dropped. She was quickly followed by Kitty and Aileen. At fifteen minutes, they added their fifth length of pole, causing Raymond and Valeria to drop before Eden’s pole straight up crumbled. Alex and Feras were next to drop as those that had been eliminated marvelled at how strong Ri is at all the challenges. They then added a sixth segment, which saw Mark and Ri drop, followed by a long-suffering Kirby, handing my boy Jaden victory.

Back at camp the tribe all congratulated Jaden on his victory as he just laughed it up and was an all round delight. Because duh. Eden pulled Raymond, Feras, Alex and Aileen aside to lock in a split vote between Ri and Valeria. Sadly for them, it is their decoy vote, as the Titans planned to take out King Ray. Which again, is a shit idea, as I love Ray. Eden looped in Jaden and Mark, who were delighted by how fun of an idea it is, particularly since Mark wanted the Titans to reunite and slay. Eden then looped in Caroline, with her ropeable at the idea of getting rid of Ray instead of Val. With her rightly pointing out to Eden that crossing Feras means that she will be screwed out of ever working with the Rebels again. She caught up with Kitty, who was equally nervous about crossing Feras, agreeing the timing was just not right. The ladies caught up with Eden to reiterate that this decision to target Ray guarantees the Rebels will turn on them straight after the vote, with him expertly assuring them that it won’t matter, given they will have the numbers anyway. Which makes sense, but also doesn’t, given how splintered everyone is.

Kirby and Ri caught up in the shelter, completely in the dark about what is being planned for tribal council. With Ri suggesting she will ask Eden, given he isn’t a good liar. He straight up told her that the majority were planning to vote for her, with Kirby reiterating that she simply needs to play her idol to keep them safe. Eden then went to chat to Kitty again, which made Feras very nervous that something is afoot. He caught up with Ray before detouring to Caroline to see if she is across what is being planned. He told her that he had heard Ray and Aileen’s names had been thrown around, with her denying it and laying it on thick that she and Kitty were the only ones that haven’t lied to him. He then cross checked with Kitty and while they both denied it, Feras still didn’t feel right. So would be trusting his gut after the vote. And oh god, don’t make this Ray blindside actually work?!

At tribal council Mark spoke about how he simply invited Caroline on reward as they needed time to mend fences or heal wounds, rather than mend wounds. Caroline admitted it was a surprise for her, though she appreciated the chance to clear the air. Talk turned to her feud with Valeria, with them agreeing they were able to talk it out and all is good now. The Rebels all started to grow nervous, whispering amongst themselves to figure out if the Titans were now tight. Ray laughed about how he is buying they are actually kumbaya and as such, he is a little nervous. As Eden and Mark whispered, Feras hoped that tribal council would go as they had planned back at camp. Which clearly stressed out Kitty, talking about how she is struggling with all the lying.

This was all the Rebels needed to know something was afoot and as such, suggested writing Eden’s name instead. Alex then got up to talk to Feras and figure out what is planned, with everyone locking in on Eden. While Alex tried to downplay the whispers as just confirming the alliance were on the same page. With that the tribe voted, Ri played her idol for herself while Feras tragically held onto his, as the Titans held firm and loaded their votes on Ray. Thankfully the Rebels all loaded their votes on Eden, making it a cheeky little tie between the boys. With that, everyone but Eden and Raymond revoted, and thankfully, Jaden flipped, leading to Eden exiting the game as our final pre-juror (I assume) and saving my sweet King Raymond.

As Eden arrived at Loser Lodge he was rightly disappointed, though was glad to go out in such an iconic way. Which honestly is the only silver lining, right? Eden once again gave hope to the superfans, playing a solid, stealth game which tragically ended up leading to his demise, as he truly was the centre of the Titans alliance. I gave him a massive hug and assured him that we will definitely see him again and as such, we got to work planning his second run. Which was the least I could do, honestly, as not only did he not make the jury, he was brought down by the infamous Survivor Pizza Curse. Thankfully, though, he knew that made his exit even more iconic, so we toasted his run with a glorious Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza.

This rustic, earthy pizza is oh so delicious. The roasted potato is sweet and crisp, the mushrooms provide a richness while the oozing burrata to finish adds the level of luxe which makes it hard to hold a grudge.

Enjoy!

Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup Toni Basil Pesto
2 potatoes, thinly sliced
2 cups small mushrooms, halved or quartered
4 garlic cloves, minced
3 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 tsp rosemary leaves, roughly chopped
2 tsp lemon zest
1 cup swiss cheese, grated
250g burrata cheese, at room temperature

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Smear the bases with the pesto, potatoes, mushrooms, garlic, thyme, chilli, rosemary and lemon zest, followed by the swiss cheese. Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Remove from the oven and serve piping hot with the cracked burrata on top. Before devouring, like a dateable icon, who sadly missed the jury.


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Nathan Freematriciana Sauce

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Condiment, Pasta, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Feras found a buried treasure, which, after grabbing a key from their reward, was able to unlock and learn it was home to an idol. Tragically for him, he was caught by everyone and while he tried to keep it secret, it was clear no one believed him. At the immunity challenge he stirred the pot with the Titans, asking whether anyone had found their treasure yet. And while they questioned whether he was being truthful, Mark’s ears well and truly pricked up on the way to the Titans narrowly jagging another immunity. Back at camp Aileen emerged to orchestrate a split vote between Alex and Tobias, which would ultimately result in Sarah having to decide which of her allies go home. Knowing he would be a threat if he didn’t, Feras played his not-so-hidden idol before Kelli stirred things up by switching her vote to Tobias and sending him out of the game without needing to involve Sarah.

The next day the mood was rather sombre at the Rebels camp as Sarah was in tears over Tobias’ surprise exit. On her birthday, no less. Kelli decided to be up front with her, admitting she changed plans at tribal because she felt it was the right thing to do. Kelli then broke down in tears and recited poetry as Sarah tried not to smack her, and hot damn, Sarah and Alex are in with a chance. As that little display is honestly enough to flip anyone into getting rid of her. Kelli approached Alex and implied that she is the sole reason he is still here, overstepping and telling him it was to allow him the chance to grow. And that he owes her, essentially. Instead, he started to run through names of other people he could work with. Feras and Kirby meanwhile were hanging in the ocean, assuring each other that there won’t be any more secrets between them. And that trust is still there. After they split up, Alex and Sarah approached Kirby to float the idea of making a move against Feras, given he is in a power position. And is the holder of the Titans’ treasure key.

Over at Titans, Jaden and Winna were busy singing everyone awake in the style of my dear Celine Dion – in honour of her triumphant Grammys appearance, no doubt –  before talk turned to the potential treasure chest. Charles and Mark were well and truly believing everything Feras told them, while the rest of the tribe were a little bit disinterested. Mark opened up about the fact Viola and Valeria are his closest allies, and as such, they got to work hunting for the chest together. Well, Mark and Valeria, that is. Viola was busy being bench-pressed by Jaden. After finding it and realising it was locked, they quickly rehid it and returned back to camp to figure out how to convince the Rebels to hand him the key.

The tribes came together with Jonathan in the middle of the jungle for the latest reward challenge where they would have to face off one at a time, racing to knock over the other tribe’s two idols of perches. With the first tribe to 4 jagging a full kids birthday party. Alex and Nathan were first to battle with Alex quickly jagging the first point for the Rebels. Valeria then scored for the Titans, mainly because Rianna once again made an odd choice in a challenge. And side note, could someone check on her as she seems to be struggling with the lack of food. Feras then overcame Jaden, before Kirby played it super smart and destroyed Viola and then Charles and Ray tried for the same strategy, well, after Ray was adorable and chatty with Charles about video games. Oh but Ray wasn’t just iconic and adorbs, he was also the hero, as he secured the win for the Rebels.

They arrived at the party and immediately started smashing all the snacks in sight, before Sarah thanked everyone for holding space for her when she was struggling in the morning. And for dominating in the challenge and scoring her an actual birthday party. Everyone congratulated Ray for being a hero in the challenge, before they found photos from home and completely got distracted. Kirby opened up about her family growing up, Garrick was adorbs dressed as batman, Sarah spoke about her and her dad’s beach trips before Kelli dried her tears long enough to open up about her family. We powered through pretty quickly, so the cliffsnotes are that Aileen grew up in Nepal and Feras has not changed in 30 years. After letting their guards down and opening up, Feras asked if anyone has any ideas who they should give the key to on the Titans tribe, with him wanting to cause as much chaos as possible. While Kirby admitted to us that Feras’ power scares her and while they are close, she knows she needs to stay one step ahead of him, lest she want to be blindsided.

Everyone reunited with Jonathan for an epic obstacle course immunity challenge where they have to race to chop through a log to release planks, go up and over a tower, use the planks to build a bridge, solve a hanging plank puzzle and then use coconuts to knock off the puzzle. After begging to participate all through the reward, Kelli was firm that she wanted to be part of a heroic section of the challenge. But to get there, Jaden and Alex had to absolutely demolish their logs. Obviously Jaden got the Titans out to a small lead, though the Rebels were hot on their heels building the first ladder. The Rebels started to pull out in front until Kelli hit the bridge and slowed everyone down, leaving the tribe to grow angrier and angrier about her existence. The Titans quickly solved their puzzle, and to quote Jonathan, Nathan busted nut after nut, as he secured another immunity for the Titans. As Garrick fumed about needing Kelli gone immediately.

Back at camp it was hard for everyone to hide their rage at Kelli as they lamented about the loss. As she went for a swim with Kirby, everyone straight up talked shit about her decision making skills and the fact she won’t even admit she was wrong. While Kirby tried to get through to her and make her see that she let the tribe down. As everyone locked in the easy Kelli vote, Kirby assured her that she does feel like Kelli is useful to her game. That is, if she promises to vote with her. Kelli tried to join up with everyone at the well, with them all wandering off to find Kirby instead. Scott and Alex tried to point out that Kelli needs to go, with her straight up refusing, given she isn’t a threat and is disposable each and every week and instead, she’d like to get rid of Feras. And while the boys pretended they were on board, their faces say they are ready to get rid of Kelli and to get back to winning. While Alex just wanted to stick with the numbers.

Feras and Garrick meanwhile were catching up in the shelter, hoping that Kirby will remain loyal and they will be able to finally get rid of Kelli. Alex joined them to try and discuss the plan before Kelli followed and sighed in their general vicinity. As they walked away from her, she found the girls with everyone locking in the vote for Feras. As Alex approached Garrick and Feras to confirm their plans, Kirby sent Kelli over to annoy them. Leaving Alex mere seconds to blurt out the plan to blindside him.

Obviously this infuriated Feras who was hurt by the fact Kirby was gunning for him, despite the fact he trusted her. The boys then floated the idea of getting rid of Rianna instead, to leave Kirby all by her lonesome. And I assume, because she is making silly decisions in challenges like Kelli. Feras and Garrick split up to float the idea and find their six votes, with Feras hoping to flip Aileen and Scott to vote with them. Scott continued to have a breakout episode, happily agreeing to get rid of Rianna, given he is close to Kirby and getting rid of Ri leaves Kirby alone to ride with him. Which is smart.

At tribal council Kirby spoke about the importance of people being in the right position in challenges if they want to avoid coming back to tribal council. With Alex barely hiding his disdain for Kelli bombing the challenge. She in turn tried to say that he sucked chopping the wood – which he didn’t, sorry – before Garrick cut in and told them how draining their feud is. JLP then announced that the tribal council will play out a little bit differently tonight, as instead of voting to send someone home, they will be sending someone to the Titans as a saboteur. Immediately making Kirby question her plans, given Feras has the key and sending him to the Titans is handing him even more power. JLP outlined that all the saboteur would have to do is bomb the next immunity challenge and send them back to tribal council. If they succeed, they come back to the Rebels. But if the Titans win the next immunity challenge, they stay on the other tribe.

Scott pointed out that it sounds like the perfect job for Kelli, while she suggested that Feras makes much more sense. Feras admitted he would be happy to go, knowing full well he can unlock the treasure. Feras and Kelli both tried to pitch Feras to go, with Kirby desperately – and obviously – getting her to offer herself up. Kirby grew so anxious about Feras going, she almost offered herself, before admitting that she just doesn’t trust what Feras would do when he makes it to the over tribe. Kirby spiralled more and more, as Kelli panicked about doing it, leading to Scott stepping in and calmly pointing out there is no way she would fail, so it is minimal risk. Which I guess we will find out, as the tribe voted and unanimously sent her to join the Titans as a saboteur. Well, after Alex gleefully pointed out that Kelli is good at everything and is a physical powerhouse and as such, there is no way she could possibly fail.

We followed Kelli over to the Titans tribe where Kelli delighted in waking everyone up, which they, obviously, hated. Winna thought they were under attack before realising they have a new tribe member who literally dove into the shelter. She then told tales about how she was in a beautiful alliance, but then added she was voted out unanimously, which obviously had both Mark and Eden realising it was all bullshit. While Kelli, bless, assumed that once again, she was doing a stellar job.

The next morning over at the Rebels, they were rested and recharged after a quiet Kelli free night. Alex was overjoyed and positively buzzing, as they reflected on how harmonious things now were. Kirby meanwhile was a little nervous, realising that the twist at tribal council ruined the potential blindside and as such, Feras knows he can’t trust her. As Kirby was debriefing with Scott, he shared that Feras had thrown out Ri for the last tribal council, making her feel even more heat. Scott went and looped in Ri, and pointed out they needed to come up with a plan ASAP. You know, aside from Kirby’s repeated get rid of Feras.

We checked in with Titans where Winna and Nathan were ogling Jaden’s ripped bod before they ventured back to camp to learn more about Kelli. And quickly realised that despite them being on the bottom of the Titans tribe, Kelli has bought them one more round, given she is the obvious target should they return to tribal council. Charles and Eden then questioned her about the treasure, with her being very vague about the note – probably genuinely – before spilling that there is likely an idol inside. In a panic, Mark and Viola made a run for it to try and find the box and rather than wait for the key, Mark literally tore the box open and jagged it. And after quickly celebrating, found Valeria to fill her in. Oh and Valeria reiterated that she does not trust Caroline. At all. Even a little bit, which is an iconic feud that I never knew I needed.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the latest reward challenge where they would perch between two frames in duos back to back, standing on small footholds, with the last pair standing winning their tribe a glorious coffee and toastie reward. Almost instantly, Garrick and Ray dropped for the Rebels, followed by Jaden and Nathan at the Titans. Tragically the Vs couldn’t get it together and were the next to go, followed by Kelli and Caroline, leaving Charles and Kitty to carry the hopes of the Titans on their literal back. After ten minutes, the remaining pairs stepped down to a smaller foothold and were all still going after twenty minutes, when they had to go to tiny ones. Which saw Sarah and Kirby drop instantly, followed by Charles and Kitty, handing the Rebels yet another reward.

Arriving back at camp, the Rebels were delighted to see the sheer bounty of food and coffee waiting by the fire. Everyone got to work smashing sandwich after sandwich, while Feras kept his eyes firmly on Kirby. Who was busy talking to Scott and Rianna about how best to move forward. Feras then turned his attention to idol hunting, pulling Ray aside to assist, as everyone else made coffee. And while Feras literally had his hand on the idol multiple times before realising it, he eventually spotted it and popped it in his pocket for safe keeping. Not wanting to use it to just save himself once, Feras caught up with Alex to let him know about the idol, followed by Scott, hoping that it would spread like wildfire and buy him even more time.

Things were decidedly less exciting over at the Titans, as Caroline was heartbroken to have missed out on reward. And kinda, sorta became the food tyrant of the tribe, yelling at the boys for eating too much. So now it is Winna and Nathan, and the Vs that hate Caroline. In turn, she was ready to get rid of Nathan ASAP to guarantee they have as much food for everyone as possible. Oh and in Kelli updates, she was vibing on all the conversations she was having with the Titans and was questioning whether throwing the challenge is really the right move for her game. Which is the most Kelli thing that Kelli has said in six episodes.

JLP made his triumphant return for the next immunity challenge where the tribes would race to untangle rope to release paddles, paddle out to collect blocks and then use the blocks to solve a word puzzle. While the rest of the tribe held up a platform on which it would be solved. Oh and despite needing to sabotage the challenge, now was the time for Kelli to choose to sit out. Rebels were first to unlock their chest as the Titans nipped at their heels. They continued to power through the water until they did a little loop, though still managed to make it to shore with a decent lead. Which evaporated, given it is a puzzle and Jaden is ripped. Aileen though made quick work of the puzzle and they managed to spell it, lower their platform with ease and save themselves from tribal council. While Kelli watched on like she had saved herself, despite not doing her job as saboteur. Which, again, is classic Kelli.

Back at camp Kelli admitted to us that she sat out of the immunity challenge because she loves the Titans and just couldn’t bear the thought of sabotaging them. Caroline caught up with Kitty and pushed to get rid of Nathan, given he is literally eating them out of house and home. They quickly pulled in Mark and got to work orchestrating a split between Jaden and Nathan. They looped everyone in, before Winna approached them at the well, with Viola letting him know the plan was to get rid of Nathan. And while he said he thought he could get Jaden onboard, he appeared to be wavering. Eden sensed something was up, asking if he was sure he could turn on them. With him assuring Eden he was fine with it. Everyone quickly got in on the plan, with Winna telling Nathan the plan was instead Kelli.

Mark approached Viola to see whether she believed it was a good idea to go with the safe Nathan vote, or whether it was time to make a move against the middle aged mafia and get rid of Caroline instead. Given she is rubbing everyone the wrong way. Nathan meanwhile admitted to Jaden that he felt like the tribe was primed to blindside him, proving he has a pretty solid read on things. As everyone came together by the fire for dinner, Caroline continued to sass people for eating too much. Viola then got to work throwing out her name as another option, quickly getting the boys on board. After she left, Winna suggested that maybe this is all a ploy to confuse them as Nathan tried to keep him calm. And Jaden looked forward to fireworks at tribal council. Nathan caught up with Kelli by the fire, as the Vs and Mark circled back to confirm Caroline is an option. Though worried if they can really trust the boys to vote with them.

At tribal council Eden spoke about how sending Kelli to the Titans was wise for the Rebels, given she is both open and friendly. Mark questioned whether she was a spy before JLP and Kelli admitted that she was in fact sent over as a saboteur and since they lost immunity – albeit through no work from Kelli – she would be returning to the Rebels, as she held back tears. 

Immediately moving on, Nathan spoke about how he has spent the game playing catch-up after not making the right relationships at the start. Eden spoke about how not everyone is aware they could be in trouble, while Valeria suggested they needed to be cautious every single time. Caroline spoke about feeling mildly confident that she is on the right side of the vote, while Kitty suggested that everyone that matters knows the plan, as Jaden laughed about needing to talk to people. Despite laughing it off and trying to act like he was out of the loop, Kitty told him to just hold firm and stick to the plan. And when JLP pointed out that he just said he wasn’t across it, she cut him down and assured him that Jaden was across it. With that the tribe voted and despite the potential excitement, Nathan was shown the door. Tragically, alongside his speedos.

Nathan followed my wailing sobs all the way to Loser Lodge, where I quickly ran into his ripped arms for a hug. He held me as I cried for about 30 minutes, as I sobbed about only having Alex’s speedos left in the game. Despite being arrogant in the first couple of episodes, Nathan is also super kind as he assured me that while his speedos may be gone, I will always have the memory of them. And honestly, that line alone is enough for me to lobby 10 to pop him on the next All Stars. Until then, however, I had to settle with slurping down a big, thick jug of his Nathan Freematriciana Sauce.

Rich, lightly salted and packing a little heat, amatriciana sauce may not be the most famous out of Italy, but it is one of the best. Better still, it is so quick and easy, it is the perfect solution when you don’t know what you want for dinner.

Enjoy!

Nathan Freematriciana Sauce
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
200g pancetta, diced
1 tsp chilli flakes
5 garlic cloves, minced
800g can diced tomatoes
¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop the oil in a deep skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, pancetta, chilli and garlic for five minutes, stirring frequently. Or until the onion is soft and sweet. Add the tomato paste and cook off for a minute before stirring through the tin tomatoes. Bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook for 10 minutes, or until it comes together. Add the parsley and season to taste.

Serve with your favourite pasta with a generous helping of parmesan, obvi.


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Peta Habennetto Chicken Nachos

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Poultry, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Titans finally managed to jag a win at the reward challenge, though given it was kind of an everyone’s a winner situation, it was a given. Sadly for them, that is where it stopped as despite a hefty lead in the immunity challenge, the Rebels pulled a come from behind win and spent another night chilling in harmony. Back at camp, Jess decided she was in charge and as such, opted to target the man who saved her the previous night, Eden. And as her confidence grew, she became a little chaotic, as she performed for a non-existent jury and turned everyone off. Almost forcing them to band together to blindside her.

The next day things were far more harmonious as Viola and Valeria continued to be iconic. Eden, meanwhile, was still annoyed to see his name at the previous tribal council. He approached Mark, Caroline and Kitty to thank them for having his back before they anointed themselves the Middle Aged Mafia and yeah, I live for it TBH. Despite the fact somebody that is younger than me refers to themselves as middle aged. Over at the Rebels, Peta and Scott were taking it easy doing some yoga and manifesting a balance or puzzle challenge. She then disappeared to catch up with her allies – Tobias, Sarah and Alex – as she watched the Kelli and Raymond show, worrying whether she will be able to bite her tongue long term. Peta and Sarah tried to figure out who would be best to join them, and I assume, be dragged to the end at their whim. Since that worked so well on the Titans tribe.

Sadly for her, Queen Kirby was watching like an absolute hawk and clocked that she felt like she was running things. And while Kirby planned to play an under the radar game, she was ready to make some quiet moves to get rid of Peta. Feras pulled her and Garrick aside, clocking her strategy and using it as a way to lock in the natural alliances that have already formed. Though trust, while she is concerned about the Cuddle Crew, she also didn’t want to shut off any options. Right on cue, Peta approached Kirby and warned her that divisions were forming and suggested it would be smart for her to work closely with the stronger crew. And holy hell, how did the strong people on both tribes clearly botch this in the exact same way.

The tribes came together in the shallows with Jonathan – Alex and Nathan thankfully in their speedos – for a physical reward challenge where, in rounds, they would race to have one person exit a cage. First tribe to three jagging an epic food basket. Sarah and Rianna were first to face off against Viola and Kitty, and damn, it was scrappy as hell before Queen V made a break to score the first point for the Titans. Jaden and Nathan faced off against Alex and Tobias and hot damn, we’re losing a speedo tonight. Wait, no, both the speedos ran away with it – on their respective bodies – and tried to escape with Nathan scoring another point for Titans. Valeria and Caroline faced off against Aileen and Kelli, with Aileen eventually making a break and scoring the first point for the Rebels. Winna and Mark then faced off against Feras and Ray, if you could even call it that, as Mark shot out and won the challenge for the Titans without any contact.

Oh and Kelli made a play to bang Nathan. So while she is super annoying, I also find her fundamentally relatable.

Back at camp the tribe were overjoyed to discover their basket of food. Until they discovered it was made up of unmarked cans, though you know Jaden was pumped for the one identifiable one, spam. Even though Mark opted to take it, no doubt assuming nobody wanted it. After smashing his can of peaches, Jaden went for a swim with Nathan, who was looking forward to a swap where they can align with the alphas at the Rebels. Speaking of them, Alex and Peta were talking about how Nathan was clearly trying to signal them at the challenge. They went for a walk to get some water before parlaying that into an idol hunt and despite calling themselves Barbie and Ken, managed to jag it without a clue. Which only managed to make them more and more confident, as they vowed to keep it between them.

That night the Rebels were marvelling at the stars as Kelli and Raymond continued to run their mouths and destroy the peace. Peta, Alex, Tobias and Sarah sat alone snacking, floating that maybe now would be the right time to throw a challenge and get rid of one of the irritating people. As to quote Alex, “Kelli annoys the shit out of me.” Sadly for them, however, throwing a challenge often backfires and given the narrative of the season appears to be pride coming before the fall, I see one of them exiting soon. Potentially with an idol in her pocket, perchance.

Jonathan returned to oversee the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would have to race load a series of sacks onto a heavy platform and slingshot, and navigate it through a series of obstacles, use a machete to cut open a bag to release sandbags, use said sandbags to knock over blocks and then use the blocks to solve a puzzle. Given three of the stronger people were actively trying to throw the challenge, the Rebels quickly fell out of it as the Titans lined their sled up at the end of the course and got to shooting. Nathan released all the blocks as the Rebels continued to saunter through the course, giving Eden and Charles a massive lead on the puzzle. While Tobias pretended to struggle with the slingshot. Finally Kirby switched in and made quick work of the puzzle pieces, though it wasn’t enough as the Titans jagged their first immunity win. Eventually, despite the fact they had a single piece in the wrong spot but couldn’t see it until the Rebels only had one left too.

As Tobias, Alex and Peta did a really bad job of looking disappointed to have lost.

Back at camp most of the tribe were dejected as Tobias tried to blame the wet ground for his bombing. Before he, Alex, Sarah and Peta peeled off and agreed they were thrilled to go to tribal council and trim the fat in Kelli. They pulled most of the tribe to the well to lock it in, with Raymond offering to go talk to her and ask what she was thinking. As he exited, Peta then suggested they split the vote between Kelli and Raymond, because of course she did. Kirby meanwhile was busy quietly watching everything until the Cuddle Crew dropped by and asked her to split the vote. Though her face was quizzical as hell, which should have been an answer. Tobias then looped in Feras who went to loop Garrick in on the plan, but instead, they clocked that the challenge was thrown. 

After confirming their suspicions together, Feras went to talk to Kirby and Rianna to warn that the challenge was thrown. Kirby then threw out that Peta was way too confident and as such, clearly thinks she is in control, making it the perfect time to blindside her. Kirby then went person to person locking everyone in on this plan before trying to calm Kelli, who grew paranoid she may get idolled out. While Kirby stayed calm and steady, pointing out that the Cuddle Crew are so confident everyone is voting for her that even if they have an idol, they won’t play it. And while Garrick and Kirby worried her acting was going to ruin the plan, I actually think she sold her chaotic nerves.

And meditation.

As she ommed out, the Cuddle Crew looked ready to scream, willing away the hours until they could vote her out. Feras meanwhile was worried she was doing too much, asking her to stop with the theatrics. She then took the fake tears to Aileen, before Aileen was summoned by Peta, asking if she was scrambling. She assured her that Kelli is honestly just crying and not floating plans, and while Peta promised us she will play the idol if she feels nervous, I honestly don’t think she would. Feras, Aileen and Kirby caught up, with the latter reiterating that Peta is so confident, she will not even consider herself at risk. Kirby then realised the tribe is so united against Kelly, that her vote doesn’t even matter and as such, pulled Rianna aside to float them voting with the Cuddle Alliance, so they could continue to play both sides and pretend they were equally as blindsided.

At tribal council the Rebels lit their torches and took their seats as Alex opened up about how not having to come to tribal council for a week gave them plenty of time for relationships to form. Raymond agreed it was nice to understand how everyone ticks and after a week, he likes most of them. Which, lol. Peta admitted she is confident she is on the wrong side of the vote before Kelli continued her acting tour de force, pretending she knows she is going home. Alex then asked if she contributes around camp, with Kelli pointing out she helps with the fire at night, while he and his friends all sleep cuddling by it. This pissed off Alex – and made me not love him anymore, TBH – before Kelli admitted she is sure his allies are all voting for her so it doesn’t matter what she says.

Peta admitted tribal is the place of blindsides and idols, which made Feras smile like a cheshire cat. Which in turn made Kirby look a little nervous, before he took it one step further, saying people need to be made an example of and put in their place. This made the Cuddle Crew appear to be super nervous, given they all felt the vote was rather united. Talk turned to the idols, with Raymond admitting he is in trouble because he was caught looking for one, rather than finding it. Garrick spoke about having suspicions about where an idol may be, before Alex made a not so subtle plea to the tribe that if you’re nervous and have an idol, you should play it. Which appeared to make Peta consider it, leading to Feras expertly suggesting if you’re that nervous at the first tribal council, maybe the game isn’t for you. And if you’ve heard a name, now would be a good time to trust it.

With that the tribe voted, Peta held on to her idol and like Frankie, was crushed to learn that most of the tribe hated her and the buff crew, as she was swiftly booted from the game. And side note, Alex, I am so disappointed in you for your attitude, despite the hot pink speedo. As she arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a big hug and despite reading the alphas on both tribes for letting arrogance get in the way, assured her that despite the loss, her exit was iconic and TBH, sometimes that is all you can hope for. As I served up a plate of Peta Habennetto Chicken Nachos on her way to the airport.

This nachos is honestly glorious. A copycat of the GYG version, it is fiery and fresh, with a punch of tangy salsa and creamy avocado to have you coming back for more. And dry up even the most shocked tears.

Enjoy!

Peta Habennetto Chicken Nachos
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g chicken breasts
5 cloves garlic, minced
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp habanero sauce, plus extra to serve
2 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp salt
½ tsp oregano
¼ tsp black pepper
500g corn chips
2 cups cheddar cheese, grated
400g can black beans
½ cup Pico de Vincent Gallo
1 cup Salsa Struthers
1 cup Lady Gaugamole
sour cream, to taste

Method
Combine the chicken, garlic, lime zest and juice, olive oil, habanero and spices in a large bowl, cover and pop in the fridge to marinate for a couple of hours.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Once the chicken is saucy, pop it on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven to bake for 20-30 minutes, or until cooked through and a little charred on the outside. Remove from the oven and leave to cool for about 15 minutes before roughly chopping.

Once ready, layer six bowls with some corn chips and sprinkle with the cheese. Top with black beans, pico de gallo, salsa, chicken and a little more cheese. Place the bowls on a baking sheet and place under a medium grill for five minutes, or until the cheese is melty and delicious.

Remove, top with sour cream, guac and habanero. And then devour.


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Banh Melinda Bowlga

Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls starred in the Brooke Lynn Hytes rusical. Which finally brought us the most iconic guest judge of all time, Countess LuAnn De Lesseps. But I’m getting ahead of myself. All the dolls turned a solid performance, given we’re down to the pointy end of the season, but it was Aurora who truly shone. She gave perfect ballet and smutty Brooke, leading to her second win of the season. While Venus continued her stint at the stop, alongside Nearah and Melinda, who gave Brooke by way of Megan. On the flipside, Denim was kinda just there while Kiki was good, but not great, which was enough to land them in the bottom. Where Kiki was tragically felled as a robbed goddess.

Backstage Denim was feeling her oats to have sent Kiki home because she is an icon, though she did argue it was also kind of her time given she had been in the bottom four times. Nearah meanwhile pointed out that Kiki will still look the best at the finale, and that has got to count for something. As they sat down to kiki – not Kiki – Denim was proud to have survived because the judges love her weird energy. Talk turned to Aurora being the frontrunner before Nearah pivoted, pointing out that Venus is the only friendly one left given she doesn’t tuck. Talk thankfully turned to the legendary Melinda, praising her killer, dramatic run over the course of the season. Particularly given everyone expected her to be the first one out based on her entry look. Which, fair.

The next day the dolls were still vibing to have made it to the top five of Season 4. While Nearah joked it was kinda a little crowded for her liking. Brad interrupted the fun looking like Barbie himself, to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over their loved ones. Nearah burst into tears as soon as she saw her ripped AF fiance Jakob. Venus sobbed in her mum Joanne’s arms, Aurora’s best friend Trinity is STUNNING and bought a letter from her parents and their friendship is so, so sweet and I ship it hard. Also, crown Aurora now, please. Venus will make a lovely first alternate, I guess. Aurora then read the letter aloud, with them vowing to love and support her forever as Melinda and Denim sobbed either side of her. Denim’s mum Cheryl – not Hole – is absolutely adorable as is Melinda’s partner Scott who looks like he is that really nice manager in the office.

And knowing everything he went through before Melinda left, it is just stunning to see him doing so well.

With zero time to wipe away the tears, Brad announced that for this week’s mini challenge the dolls would be doing a little photoshoot to update their LinkedIn. And their loved ones would be getting them into quick drag. Melinda and Scott laughed their way through the experience as Melinda charmed the hell out of the shoot, with him looking on proudly. Nearah rode Jakob like a drill sergeant, with Nearah selling the photoshoot despite being a total mess. Denim was an 80s clown delight and TBH, her mum slayed. Aurora looked stunning as Trinity is a glorious icon and as such, looked great in her shot. Venus looked like Fran Drescher as her mum shot for Cher. Rightly though Melinda took out the win as Scott honestly did a better job than Melinda usually does.

Before departing Brad announced that the dolls would be making over their loved ones to make their red carpet debut. With them along for the ride as plus ones. Oh, and they have to make the outfits from scratch. They split up to come up with concepts, with Nearah nervous about covering all that meat of her ripped fiance. Venus was relying on that scretch fabric, just wanting to do her mother proud. Despite how stressed the challenge is making her, given it is a week before the finale. Scott was busy telling Melinda to get drawing and slay, while Denim was desperate to take out a victory as her mum gave off less chaotic Katya’s mum energy. So it just may happen. Aurora and Trinity on the other hand continued to vibe and you just know they will slay.

Brad returned with the divine Sarain Fox as Venus told her how much she means to her, grateful to be the first indigenous queen to make it to the top five. Likely four. Probably winner, maybe. As she planned to be the red carpet, while her mum was the award. Nearah and Buffy were going to go glorious in gold, with Nearah excited to redeem herself with the love of her fiance. Denim meanwhile was making a Denim jumpsuit, while her mother – now known as Velvet – will be super stunning in a gown. Aurora and Supernova will be gorgeous in green, though Brad was worried the concept was too basic. While Melinda and Conchita would be in asymmetrical flowy gowns.

After Brad left, Aurora immediately pivoted to purple fabric with zero stretch, hoping to give more galaxy and get the win. Denim meanwhile started to spiral as the needle kept falling out of the sewing machine, with her mum immediately stepping in and calming her down and keeping her on task. Melinda took Scott to the mainstage to practise his walk with Scott absolutely dominating and giving sass and yeah, a star IS born. Venus’ mum wasn’t as energetic as her daughter wanted, while Nearah admitted she has been forcing Buffy to practise walking in heels for months. Denim and her mum were polished as hell, while Trinity is a straight up model. But back in the Werk Room, the dolls madly tried to make final notes before their loved ones departed. After which Venus and Nearah admitted they were very nervous about the looks.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get their loved ones in drag, with Venus sharing her mum’s drag name would be Uranus. Talk turned to how the lovers met, with Melinda laughing about meeting Scott in a bathhouse. Nearah and Jakob met on Grindr before proposing in a carpark. Jakob opened up about coming out when she met Nearah and how proud she is that Nearah was always so visibly out. Talk turned to the parents and what it is like raising queer children, with Venus’ mum an absolute icon. Living for her two queer kids. Denim’s mum meanwhile spoke about Denim’s bravery and how she took him all over the country to get all the care and support he needed to come into the man he is and ugh, I’m crying, the dolls are crying. Give them the win, this is too beautiful.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Sarain on the judges panel as the dolls and their loved ones stomped the A Star Is Born runway. With Venus and Uranus absolutely dominating, as Uranus gave va-va-voom and ugh, she’s the best. Nearah and Buffy looked stunning as a goddess and curtain, with Buffy’s arms alone a win. Melinda and Conchita gave drama and were so hilariously camp and stunning. While Denim emphatically screamed I am getting my win, given she and her mum legit looked like twins. And their looks were glorious. While Aurora and Supernova were shimmering and stunning.

The judges lived for Venus’ concept and how well executed everything was. Particularly how proud Uranus was as she was watching her daughter slay. Nearah was read for being a little basic with the design and not finishing the looks. But TBH, it was hard given Buffy, again, is ripped. Though Brooke wanted her to play with the proportions which makes so much sense. Melinda was read for having too much of a story, with everyone just wishing they leaned into the simple elegance of their love. Denim received wall to wall praise, particularly how she let her mum completely shine. While the judges lived for Aurora’s elegance, though wished she gave something a little bigger. Given Trinity still looked like a glorious woman, rather than making it drag.

Backstage Aurora felt horrible to have stumbled at the last hurdle, while they praised Venus for how great her mum was. Denim rightly got her flowers from her sisters, given she is clearly taking the win. Aurora shared how disappointed she was to be in the bottom, before Nearah sobbed about how much it hurts to have bombed this close to the end. While Melinda was just happy to see Scott so excited by the entire process, grateful to be able to give that to her loved one.

Ultimately Denim took out her first win of the season and as such, was the first finalist of Season 4. She was joined by Venus and Aurora as Nearah and Melinda had to lip sync for the final slot. And given Nearah is Nearah, we knew the tragedy was coming before it happened as she can turn a show. As expected, she absolutely demolished Carly Rae Jepson’s I Didn’t Just Come Here to Dance and while Melinda was solid and served sex, you couldn’t take your eyes off Nearah as she was rightly sent through to the finale as the iconic Melinda became the other robbed goddess of the season.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled mother Melinda in for an epic hug and immediately burst into tears, heartbroken about the fact we won’t get to follow her story all the way to the end. She patted me on the back and assured me it was fine, given she earned her mother card week after week and as such, is the most memorable part of the season. Which is better than a win. As is a piping hot bowl of Banh Melinda Bowlga.

If there is one thing I love above anything else – well, almost anything – it is turning something into a bowl meal. And this is perfection. Fresh and creamy cucumbers pair perfectly with the sing of meat and a zing of pickle to deliver nothing but flavour.

Enjoy!

Banh Melinda Bowlga
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
½ cup rice vinegar
⅓ cup maple syrup
5 tbsp toasted sesame oil
1 tsp kosher salt
4 carrots, thinly sliced lengthways
2 lebanese cucumbers, halved, seeded and quarters
1 jalapeño, seeded and sliced
¼ cup mint, finely chopped
1 avocado, cubed
2 limes, zested and juiced
500g pork mince
3 shallots, trimmed and sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
½ cup tamari
2 tbsp fish sauce
2 tbsp chilli paste
3 cups Coconut Richa
½ cup sriracha mayo
¼ cup mixed sesame seeds
¼ cup peanuts, roughly chopped

Method
First, Pop the rice vinegar, a quarter of a cup of maple syrup and a tablespoon of toasted sesame oil with the salt in a small saucepan over medium heat and bring to almost a boil. Immediately remove from the heat, stir and allow to cool for five minutes before adding the carrots. Leave to pickle for an hour or so.

Next, combine the cucumber, jalapeño, mint, avocado, 2 tbsp sesame oil, lime zest and juice in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Heat the final lug of sesame oil in a large skillet and brown the meat, shallots and garlic over medium heat for 5 minutes, or until golden. Add the tamari, fish sauce, chilli and remaining maple with half a cup of water and cook for a further ten minutes or so. Or until sticky and crisp.

To serve, spoon some rice in the bowl and divide the mince between them. Drain the carrots and divide amongst the bowls, followed by the cucumber salad. Drizzle with mayo and sprinkle with the sesame seeds and peanuts. Then, finally, devour.


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Christmas Burgera Melle

Burgers, Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls, finally, played the Snatch Game. And while the UK always delivers a better than average game, there is always quite a range in the performances. For every Ginger, for instance, there is a Sugar’s Miley. As hinted at Ginger slayed, yet again, delivering a masterclass on her way to securing her third win in a row. Kate meanwhile broke through and dominated. While Tomara Tomaraed, and obviously had Ru cackling as Cara surprised with a fun turn. At the other end of the pack, Vicki was one note and in her head while DeDe was just there. Sadly for Vicki, when it came to the lip sync, DeDe was more than just there, turning a show and slaying the game, sending Vicki back to Cornish. Presumably to have a pasty.

Backstage DeDe was gagged to have sent another badge holder home, before everyone was gagged to discover said badge holder had left a shady, shady mirror message. Michael then suggested that maybe DeDe was busy taking souls and growing in power, while Ginger just wished she brought the fire and comedy in the challenges instead and was able to realise her powers. Kate meanwhile was primed and ready for a win, given she is now in the top three and just needs to take another step. Oh and as they split up to de-drag, DeDe pointed out that Vicki probs doesn’t like Cara for being loud. Which is iconic of DeDe.

The top six returned the next day with everyone very jealous to see Ginger pulling away with a third badge on her chest, while Michael reminded us that the race is a marathon and she is still backing herself. Cara opened up about feuding with her inner saboteur before Kate tried to bring things back to memorialising Vicki, though all Michael cared about was getting her next badge.

Ru dropped by for a little mini challenge with puppets, because why? Everybody loves puppets, that’s why! First up to the gloryhole was Cara who pulled out Ginger, Michael grabbed Cara, Tomara jagged Michael, Kate got DeDe and DeDe got Tomara leaving Ginger to roast Kate. After they dragged up their felted friends, the dolls’ got to work reading with Cara so very, very bad it was iconic. Michael thankfully read Cara for filth and had a ball, Tomara gave manic energy and at least had herself giggling, while Kate too, was a bomb. Though at least she pissed off DeDe. DeDe in turn was having a ball as she bombed before Ginger, thankfully, made Michael feel less alone by reading Kate the house down boots. And ugh, crown her now, she is perfection.

Rightfully Ginger took out yet another victory, before Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge, the girls would be paired up and starring in screen tests Footballers Wags, Holedark or Femmerdale. All where two women vie for the attention of a hunk. And for winning the mini, Ginger was in charge of the pairings, jagging Kate for herself and cursing Michael with Cara and leaving DeDe and Tomara to have fun. And you know that was strategic and again, crown Ginger, she is a damn icon.

After Ru departed the dolls sat down to read through the scripts and fight over the shows. Cara was desperate to play one of the WAGs, which is coincidentally the one Kate and Ginger wanted. Though given Cara stepped aside from her dream role in the rusical, Ginger kindly stepped aside and took Holedark for her duo. So, I guess Kate and Ginger are winning and Cara is gone, right? Tomara meanwhile was nervous about being paired with DeDe, given she is becoming a power bottom. Cara and Michael on the other hand were vibing, and maybe I have read this all wrong. The one thing I know is that Tomara and DeDe are safe, because Ru will love them being unable to do the accents.

Michael and Cara were first up to film with Michelle and Zaddy Jacob from the Pit Crew, and while Cara was full Cara, Michael was a charming, wild cougar. Particularly since she did her own sound effects. The dolls from Holedark slayed from start to finish, chewing up the scenery, the Pit Crew and the set, TBH. Tomara and DeDe, however, were wild, unhinged and so much bloody fun, whether they could nail an accent or not. Or remember any damn lines at all. 

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls thriving and vibing, as they split up to beat their mugs for the runway. Ginger opened up about somehow swallowing a trio of sewing needles once, leading to a bunch of injuries. This got the girls opening up, with Cara talking about cracking her skull, and Michael busted her knee and hole.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by the one and only Joel Dommett – he is hot and hosts Survivor, so I will stan – as Michael opened up the Pajamarama Runway looking an absolutely stunning, fucked-up mess, Cara meanwhile was a sexy, sleeping beauty and Kate Butch gave black and white glamazonian. Who died on the runway, looking beautiful in the process. I mean, she was flawless. Ginger gave Dolly Parton playgirl for John Waters, DeDe gave full plushie before Tomara closed the show doing the sluttier, Barbarella version of DeDe’s look.

When it came to the scenes Cara and Michael were a solid, salacious duo, though TBH, the scene was just boring. Michael received wall to wall praise for the scene and the runway, while Cara was read for being at 100 the entire time, despite doing really well. And showing diversity on the runway. Kate and Ginger’s scene was absolute perfection as the duo squeezed every laugh out of all the moments. Kate was completely beloved for everything she gave in the scene and for turning it out on the runway. Even giving a glorious mug. Ginger too got top marks for everything she did, begging the question, is she about to get her fourth badge in a damn row? DeDe and Tomara’s scene was surprisingly hilarious, given they were stupid and silly in every moment. DeDe was read for being on the struggle bus during the shoot, but her runway was deemed cute. Tomara on the other hand was beloved for being wild, and they were delighted by the runway.

Before Ru ominously praised the dolls for all doing well, making it a difficult choice ahead.

Backstage the dolls quickly grabbed their drinks and toasted each other for having the best time and turning it out. Tomara meanwhile was proud of herself and ready to silence her self-doubt, while Kate was very hopeful about taking out her first win of the season. And just as hopeful she wouldn’t have to share with Ginger. Michael meanwhile was a little confused, thrilled to receive praise though feeling like she will still be in the bottom. While Cara was just outright nervous, given how the rest of the dolls’ critiques went.

Ginger was sent to safety before Kate, rightly, jagged her first badge of the season. Ru then announced that it was a difficult decision to figure out the bottom two, though sadly it was Michael and Cara, as DeDe and Tomara were sent to safety. Despite being gutted, the dolls slayed Touch Me (I Want Your Body) by the one and only Samantha Fox. And well, their looks were perfect for the song, both the dolls were fired up and in the pocket from start to finish. Despite both of them slaying, however, there have already been too many non-eliminations and as such, through tears, Michael was sent to safety before Cara was shown the door.

As Cara arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and reminded her to hold her head up high. I mean, it is always a little easier to be eliminated in an episode where everyone does well, particularly since it lends itself to being seen as a robbed goddess. And that was all she needed to hear to cheer her up. Though, honestly, how could you be annoyed while smashing a Christmas Burgera Melle.

Yeah, yeah, it is only November, but it is the festive season, damnit, and I will not hear it. I’ve been hearing it for months now! Plus, when a burger tastes this good, don’t complain and just be happy. Spiced, rich and warm, once you try it, you will never worry about getting festive too soon.

Enjoy!

Christmas Burgera Melle
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
250g turkey mince
½ tsp chilli
½ tsp ground sage
¼ tsp cinnamon
salt and pepper, to taste
200g brie, sliced
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 tsp cranberry sauce
2 milk buns
1 cup Nick Ciabatta Stuffing
1 cup Gabriel Mash
½ cup Howie Doriesling Gravy

Method
Combine the turkey mince, chilli, sage and cinnamon in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch to combine and form into two balls. Pop a skillet over medium heat and when hot, pop the patty in the pan and press with a spatula to flatten to about 1cm thick. Cook for a few minutes before flipping, topping with the brie and cooking for a further few minutes or until cooked through.

Combine the mayo and the cranberry sauce in a bowl.

To assemble, split the buns, smear the base with the cranberry mayo, add a dollop of mash, a lug of gravy, then the patty and brie followed by the stuffing. Then closing and devouring, like a festive icon.


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Turkarolyn Wigerllington

Main, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the final four arrived at the top of the mountain – literally and figuratively – to compete in the epic final simmotion immunity challenge. And despite us, or at least me, rooting for Carolyn to dominate the challenge, she was the first to go before Heidi surprised herself with the win. Despite having a guaranteed spot in the final three, Heidi decided the best shot at taking out the win, was to pull a Chris Underwood and go to fire against Carson and just like him, she re-earnt her place in the final three – in record time, no less – as Carson found himself becoming the final juror.

The final three woke up early on Day 26, overwhelmed to make it to the end, while Yam Yam was just nervous about sounding stupid at the final tribal council. With Carolyn assuring him, she will sound stupider. Yam Yam opened up to us that he feels he played a strong game, but he knows that it doesn’t really matter what he thinks though and as such, he needs to use his words like weapons to win the jury over. The jury, though, praised him for perfectly riding the middle and winning everyone over, always making them feel like they were part of his plan so they wouldn’t turn on him.

As they sat down for breakfast, Heidi shared that she is proud of how she played, particularly since she took a massive risk at the end to solidify her resume. With the jury just hoping she can reiterate her game, should she want their vote. Carolyn meanwhile was nervous about her self-confidence getting her down. She admitted to us that she is so shocked to have made it to the end, given she never even expected to make the merge. And now her biggest challenge is to convince the jury that being emotional was the smartest way for her to play. Which they seem to agree with, so let’s all hope she doesn’t overthink it and secures the crown like she – and us – deserve.

At the final tribal council Jeffrey reminded everyone how the night would proceed, before Kane kicked things off by assuring the final three all votes were up in the air and as such, they should answer honestly. He then asked what they felt the jury perceives them, with Yam Yam joking that they all love him and see him as happy go lucky, though suggested that they perceived he followed Carson when in fact the Tika trio were a strong alliance. While Heidi tried to call bullshit, Yam Yam pointed out that following Soka was what they wanted them to think at the merge. Heidi meanwhile spoke about playing a social game, though knew she had to do the fire making challenge to have a shot. Carolyn admitted she was shocked to make it to the end, given she was the weird kid that was underestimated and by forming solid bonds with Carson and Yam Yam, she was able to thrive.

Carson admitted he knows how great Yam Yam and Carolyn are, so asked Heidi to explain how she played, admitting that everyone in Soka was strong and as such, come merge, she had to navigate around that perception to survive. Heidi continued to try to undermine Yam Yam, before Danny asked how Yam Yam used Carson, with him admitting he didn’t use Carson but in fact used EVERYONE to make it further. Danny then asked Heidi how she used shields, with her wisely saying she hid behind him specifically to make it further.

Frannie meanwhile took things to the social side – queen – asking them how they leveraged or managed emotion to navigate the game. Right on cue, Carolyn started to get emotional, talking about her journey with addiction and how seeking treatment taught her how to feel her emotions and while she knew that made her game difficult at times, she also used it to sell her choices. Yam Yam admitted while he is emotional, he struggled with the players that kept their guards up like Brandon and Jamie, however he was perceptive enough to learn when people lied to him and as such, navigated around their tells. While Heidi continued to give a textbook performance, saying that her game was more than just about winning but representing people that are different. Because as a latina woman in science, she works with all men and is always expected to keep her emotions in check. And yes, Heidi, work.

Sweet Matt then thanked them all for being themselves and told them that he is proud.

Talk turned to the challenges with our resident beast asking how they felt about them, with Carolyn shocked by how badly she bombed each and every challenge. She admitted her letter from home broke her heart, given her son told her he hoped she would win challenges and while it broke her, she knew to only speak positively about herself. Heidi then praised Carolyn for being an inspiration and for never giving up and ugh, it is so sweet. Carson asked Heidi about the final immunity challenge, admitting that she felt like she had no chance at winning if she didn’t win fire, though knew that taking out the brains of the operation was her best shot. Oh and if they vote for her, they could break another record if they vote for her, as she’d be the first Puerto Rican and oldest female to win. Yam Yam meanwhile opened up about his physical family and how channelling them is what helped him win immunity.

Oh and if they vote for him, he’d be the first Puerto Rican male to win.

Carson directed things to strategy, dropping stats about how well Carolyn played with her admitting that having a tight alliance helped her make it to the end. She pointed out that nobody expected she had the idol and while Yam Yam suggested she played it needlessly, she reiterated she trusted him but not the others and as such, she preferred a guarantee. Danny then questioned why he was the target, with her admitting he appeared to be running things and as such, she knew taking him out would help set her up. Yam Yam meanwhile spoke about his social game and the ability to win people over it. More importantly, that is what helped him stay abreast of everything and know the best path forward. While Heidi with the worst voting record – 67% – spoke about being forced into adapting her game, though when she played from the bottom she realised how much bigger than the money the game can be. She then gave a great speech about coming to America with nothing and how proud of herself she is with the life she has built.

With that the jury finally voted and tragically, for some reason, none of those people felt it appropriate to vote for Carolyn as she landed in third. Obviously I stormed the set and ushered Carolyn aside, bursting into tears in her arms and screaming about how disappointed in the jury I was. I mean, Carson was stage-moming hard all throughout the final tribal council and nobody gave us who would have been the greatest winner of all time. Even better than Sandra and Parvati. Carolyn being Carolyn however, took it in her stride and while she admitted she was disappointed that she was proud of the winner, and more importantly, herself and as such, she gladly sat down to celebrate with a big, fat Turkarolyn Wigerllington.

This poultry take on the beef wellington is just as rich and luscious as the OG. Rich, earthy and a little kick of spice thanks to the chorizo, it is the perfect way to refresh a festive meal.

Enjoy!

Turkarolyn Wigerllington
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
4 sheets puff pastry
½ cup cranberry sauce
½ cup parmesan cheese
4-8 sage leaves
1.5kg turkey breasts, sliced into 1cm thick steaks
500g fresh chorizo, skins removed and discarded
1 cup breadcrumbs
1 bunch spinach, roughly chopped and wilted
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 egg

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C and line a couple of baking sheets.

Place the pastry on a bench and smear with some cranberry sauce before sprinkling with parmesan cheese and placing 1-2 sage leaves in the middle. Divide the turkey breast in the middle on top of the sage.

Combine the chorizo, breadcrumbs, spinach, cinnamon and chilli in a bowl, scrunching together with your hands. Divide into four and form into little sausages, placing lengthways in the middle of the turkey.

Whisk the egg and brush the edges of all the pastry. Fold in the ends and then roll into a large parcel, pressing the edge to seal. Transfer to the baking sheets, seam down, and repeat with each wellington.

Pop the wellingtons in the oven to bake for 80 minutes, or until the pastry is golden and puffed. Remove from the oven and rest for ten minutes before serving with your favourite sides – Simon Potato Baker Denny for life – and devouring, like the queen that you are regardless of the jury.


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