Snack

Katey Sagal Bombs

Baking, Bread, Breakfast, Golden Globe Gold, Main, Snack, Street Food

After kicking this year’s Golden Globe celebrations – Goldy Bird – with my dear friend and ex-lover Ryan Gosling, I decided to visit with a more maternal figure in my life as we bounced to the TV side of the Globes. And there is no better maternal figures to ever grace the small screen than the one-two punch of Peg Bundy and Gemma Teller Morrow, which are conveniently played by my dear Katey Sagal.

I first met Kate in 1987 when Married was starting up. I was dating David Faustino and was Christina Applegate’s best friend at the time, but it was the warm way she took me under her wing that kept me on set after the inevitable break-ups. And made us like family.

She was always patient, always kind. She does not envy, boast or is … wait, sorry, I am slipping back into Catholic School. She is the kindest most loving person and I know, and I am so lucky to have had her undying support and guidance in my life.

As soon as I saw her, I fell into her arms and started sobbing. Why I am not sure, but it shows the safety I feel in her presence. We quickly gabbed about what we’ve been up to before dipping our toe into the world of Miniseries and TV movies, as we’ve got someone else lined up to cover Drama (who is likely to snatch victory this year). In any event, we agree Darren Criss will continue his streak winning Best Actor for his portrayal of Andrew Cunanan while Amy Adams will defeat Regina King in their other direct battle for Best Actress. Despite Connie Britton’s hair always being my vote. For Best Miniseries or TV Film, my split our votes with Kate going for Sharp Objects, while I am baking American Crime Story if only because of Queen Judith Light.

With that out of the way and how deeply I love Katey and respect our robust odds related discussions, I got to work whipping up one of Christina Tosi’s opi in her honour. In the form of Katey Sagal Bombs.

 

 

Straight up, I love Milk Bar. It is without a doubt the happiest place on earth (alongside Disneyland and In’N’Out, obvi), and this little baby is one of the reasons why. Soft, pillowy dough wrapped around the salty glory of cream cheese, bacon and shallots exploding in your mouth.

I mean, dis good. Dis real good.

Enjoy!

 

 

Katey Sagal Bombs
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
‘Mother Dough’
3½ cups flour
1 tbsp kosher salt
1 ¼ tsp active dry yeast
1 ¾ cups water, at room temperature

Filling and assembly
50g streaky bacon, diced
200g cream cheese
4 shallots, sliced
1 tsp raw caster sugar
dash of smoking liquid
¼ tsp kosher salt
1 tbsp white sesame seeds
2 tsp black sesame seeds
2 tsp poppy seeds
1 tbsp dried onion
½ tsp onion powder
¼ tsp garlic powder
1 egg, beaten

Method
First you need to start with the filling, so fry the bacon in a skillet over medium heat until it’s brown and crunchy. Remove from the heat.

Place the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat with the paddle attachment until soft and fluffy. Add the bacon and its fat, the shallots, sugar, smoking liquid and salt, and beat until well combined.

Scoop into 8 even lumps and place in a lined container. Transfer to the freezer until rock solid.

When the lumps are hard, start working on the dough by combining the flour, salt and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer. Add the water and stir with the dough hook by hand until just combined before transferring it to the mixer and kneading on low for 10 minutes, or until a smooth, soft ball forms.

Transfer to a large oiled bowl, cover with plastic wrap and leave to prove for an hour.

Preheat the oven to 160C.

To assemble, punch down the dough and split in two. Freeze one half in a container, and when you want to use it defrost and then prove for an hour. Split the other dough into 8 equal pieces, and stretch each to form a 10cm wide disc. Place a frozen piece of cream cheese in the centre of each, seal and roll into a smooth ball. Place on a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until done.

Combine the sesame seeds, poppy seeds, dried onion, onion powder and garlic powder in a bowl, and whisk the egg with a tablespoon of water.

Brush each bomb with egg wash and coat with the seed mix. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown and exploding with goodness.

Devour immediately. Ish.

 

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Ryan Cosling and Avocado Salad

Golden Globe Gold, Golden Globe Gold: Goldy Bird, Salad, Side, Snack

Hey Girl, you didn’t think there was anyone I’d rather kick off this (new) year’s Golden Globe celebrations with than my dear friend Ryan Gosling, did you? I mean between the fact we’ve known each other for decades after co-starring on The Mickey Mouse Club – obvi I was a mouseketeer – and that he won his globe after five noms, he is best place to help me run the odds this year.

Normally I like to show you the other sides of my celebrity friends however when it comes to Ry, what you see is what you get. He is an absolute babe-town slash sweetheart, is a loyal friend and is just thoroughly delightful.

I mean, he was so worried about how I would take him getting with Eva and starting a family – we dated in the early noughts – so he took me on a friend vacay where we watched her movies with a critical eye until I softened enough to her and he was sure that I wouldn’t feel slighted by the relationship.

While I obviously flew off the handle when I realised talking smack about Eva’s performance in the classic film Urban Legends: Final Cut – the film’s only weakness IMO – wasn’t foreplay, we quickly won me back by having personally edited the locker scene from Crazy, Stupid, Love and his Blue Valentine nude scene in a 14 hour loop to help calm me down.

That sort of thoughtful gesture is even enough to curb my penchant for holding grudges. As such, we’ve been the best of friends for life.

When I arrived in L.A. I made my way straight over to his home to catch-up. He threw his arms around me – swoon – and told me how desperately he missed me slash how happy it made him to be helping me make my second triumphant return to the interwebs.

As I am wont to do, we laughed, we cried and we talk smack about our frenemies before getting down to running the odds. Given how much I love him, I decided to cover all the motion picture acting nominations with him. For Supporting Actor we agreed that my boy Mahershala is likely to snatch a globe to make up for his snubbery for Moonlight and Supporting Actress will go to Regina King. The leading performances are where we started to disagree, with Ry thinking Christian Bale will take Comedy and Musical while I think Robert Redford will take a surprise victory. For Comedy and Musical Actress, he believes it is Olivia Colman’s to lose, while my gut tells me Crazy Rich Asians will take a win and Constance Wu feels like their best shot. For Drama, he thinks Bradley Cooper will win here – I obvi am Rami all the way, er’ryday – and Lady Gaga will continue A Star is Born’s streak, while I can not move past Glenn Close.

Because she is Glenn Close damnit.

Given he is such a delight, things didn’t get very heated so I didn’t need to cook up anything hearty to ground us – like roast gosling, for instance. Instead, we feasted on a fresh and delightful Ryan Cosling and Avocado Salad.

 

 

I know that I normally push extremely hard in favour of the ‘you don’t win friends with salad rule,’ but this is so good I have to make an exception. Packing a tonne of flavour and healthy enough to make you smugly think that you’re keeping your new year’s resolutions, it is near perfection.

Enjoy!

 

 

Ryan Cosling and Avocado Salad
Serves: 2

Ingredients
¼ cup greek yoghurt
1 lime, juiced and zested
1 tsp maple syrup
1 tbsp dill, finely chopped
salt and pepper, to taste
2 baby cos, washed, dried and leaves removed
1 avocados, peeled, stoned and sliced
handful of mint leaves

Method
Combine the yoghurt, lime juice and zest, maple syrup, dill and a good whack of salt and pepper in a jug.

Layer the cos on a platter, topped with the avocado slices and a sprinkle of mint.

Drizzle over the dressing.

Devour.

 

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Nick Blintzon

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, Sweets, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor twenty Americans were marooned on a cyclone ravaged Fijian Island and separated into two biblically themed tribes based on whether they were successful or not. Ironically – I think, Alanis help me out – the first boot wasn’t taken out by a vote but instead Pat was felled by an act of God as a wave sent their arc flying and cracked his back. He was followed out the door by Jessica – after my pizza curse struck again – and Jeremy before Bi up and quit – due to a torn ACL, but don’t tell Jeff –  just as the tribes were switching.

Despite being in a Goliath majority on her newly formed tribe, Natalia became the second and final victim of my pizza curse before Natalie became a victim of herself, exiting without so much as turning to face Angelina as she begged for a jacket, followed by poor Lyrsa who was wondering how in the hell she would tolerate the pre-jury vacay with the boss.

With that the tribes merged and Elizabeth started to accrue a Harem of Hunks, as she was followed into Ponderosa by John, Dan, Alec and Carl before Gabby broke the drought after trying to turn on Christian. Turns out she was one vote too soon, as he followed her out the door before Davie, Alison and Kara arrived to round out the jury.

The final three plead their case to the jury with Angelina completely shut out, no doubt in part because she opted to humiliate Alison on her way out the door – but she gave up her shot at immunity for rice, guys! Despite a strong game Mike proved that Goliath’s always have a weakness, as Nick overpowered him at final tribal council and snatched the title of Sole Survivor slash $1M.

While poor Nick struggled to find his feet in the first few days, Pat’s medevac saved him from the fate of becoming the first one out and allowed him to reset his game. And reset he did, taking control of the original David tribe with Christian, and then manoeuvring out of a minority position on the post-swap Jabeni tribe.

By the time he was playing a pivotal role in snatching back the majority on the merge tribe, keeping a meat shield long enough to avoid being targeted and snatching a string of late game immunity challenges, he pretty much had the game on lock. And what an exciting game it was. And by game, I mean season. This season was great. So great, the only way I could toast his success was splitting a big plate of Nick Blintzon.

 

 

Picture it: crepes, rolled into cheese filled tubes and then fried (or baked). Still with me? Then you dust with icing sugar and go to heaven. Because these are delicious.

Enjoy!

 

 

Nick Blintzon
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
4 eggs
400ml milk
250g flour
1 tsp salt
butter, to grease
1 cup ricotta cheese
250g cream cheese
⅓ cup raw caster sugar
1 lemon, juiced
1 tsp vanilla
icing sugar, to garnish

Method
Whisk three of the eggs and milk together in a small bowl, and the flour and salt in another. Form a well in the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients, whisking continuously, until smooth and combined.

Melt a good knob of butter in a skillet and pour ⅓ cup of mixture into the pan to make a crepe. Repeat the process until the batter is all used. Leave them to cool slightly.

Preheat oven to 160°C.

Beat the remaining egg, ricotta, cream cheese, sugar, lemon juice and vanilla until smooth and combined.

Place a couple of tablespoons in the centre of each crepe and fold like a burrito. Brush with some melted butter, place on a lined baking sheet and transfer to the oven to bake for twenty minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Devour immediately, dusted heavily with icing sugar.

 

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Carl Meatballdreaux Sub

Main, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Elizabeth continued to add to her harem of hunks as Dan was idol nullified from the game, I assume to feed her grapes and fan her with palm fronds with John. Which is totally what I dreamed of last night, with me excelling in the role of Liz. Obvi. Anyway – the Davids were firmly in control, Angelina worked to ingratiate herself with them by throwing Alison, Kara and Alec under the bus. Tragically for the latter, he dropped out of the immunity challenge after a hard-fought battle with Christian, leading to the tribe joining together to take the biggest physical threat out of the game.

And hot damn is Liz lucky!

Back at camp Davie thanked the Goliaths for joining them in taking out Alec, given it levels the playing field. Only it didn’t, since the Davids have finally taken control. Poor Alison broke down about Alec’s departure, sad that she was fighting harder for him to stay with Christian pulling her aside and comforting her and damn I love him. I mean, I get why people are struggling to turn on him since he is an absolute sweetheart.

Just like that my boy Jeff appeared for the latest reward challenge where they’d be split into two teams to swim out to a ladder which they would ascend and then jump into the water to release buoys … which they would use to throw into baskets. It was for fried chicken on a speedboat, so you know I’d be all in. Poor Christian wasn’t selected for a team, leaving him time to look for an advantage on the sit-out bench while Mike, yes Mike, got him, Carl, Davie and Kara out to an early lead. Despite closing the gap slightly – and Nick giving us a glimpse of his buoys – the orange team maintained a slight lead, starting to shoot their baskets before the others arrived at the dock. Nick scored the first basket for the purple team, however the orange team finally got their eye in, scoring goal after goal and snatching victory for Carl’s first reward.

The victors jumped on their speedboat, downing beers leading to the drunkest performance on Survivor since Big Tom as he sat on Kara’s lap and promised that they were good. He shared that Alison is the next best target as it would only upset Gabby. They arrived at their feast on an abandoned island with Davie joining Carl in tipsy-dom, excitedly talking about how proud he was to prove himself as an athlete. Carl continued to run his mouth as Mike and Kara continued to play him and talk about his plans, giving Kara enough power to hopefully make a move. Meanwhile back at camp Gabby was kicking off the move against Carl, approaching Christian to make a move and reclaim their games as Carl looks to be in control. And that won’t win them the game. Gabby pulled in Alison, who was thrilled to jump on board and given she suggested they asked Kara and Mike to join them, I smell a blindside.

After sobering up upon his return to camp, Carl pulled his alliance together to lock in his vote for Alison. Angelina shared that she had essentially replaced Gabby’s place within David alliance, leaving her on the outs. Carl locked Angelina in as the decoy boot for Gabby before pulling Mike in to join in the Alison. Which seems likely to be a big mistake. Huge! Carl then beckoned Christian to lock in his vote, pissing off yet another person and solidifying Christian’s plan to get rid of him. Christian and Mike shared their Carl stories, before running the numbers and realising that they are more than ready to get rid of Carl. Wait, no, Mike is admitting to be playing the middle. AND IS THIS GOING TO BACKFIRE? I can’t stop overthinking things.

The next morning Gabby and Christian got together to watch the sunset and discuss the fact that she has been completely pushed out of the David alliance. This obviously – and fairly – annoyed the hell out of Gabby, who vowed to turn on them and take control. Meanwhile the rest of the tribe discovered that their rice was near empty with Angelina, bless, naively suggesting that they should negotiate with Jeff for more. Which she should know will not end well. Particularly since her Tracey Flick mentality was annoying the shit out of Mike.

At the immunity challenge the tribe would be required to race over an obstacle, spin on a pole and traverse a balance beam collect while collecting puzzle pieces along the way, which they would use to solve a word puzzle. But before that, Angelina continued with her plan to put her Yale education to use bartering with Jeff to get more rice. She essentially listed everything around the camp, which Jeff shadily called a low ball offer before saying all it will take is one person giving up their shot at immunity for additional rice, with Angelina – obviously – sitting out to add to her resume. Anyway the challenge was fairly neck and neck, with everyone working on the puzzle at the same time. Carl was the first to come up with a word – perceptions – which was wrong but triggered Alison and Davie, leaving them to battle it out for immunity. With the latter snagging immunity.

Angelina was proud of her negotiations when they discovered the rice back at camp. While everyone praised her, she tried to play humble as they cooked up some rice and prepared to lock in their plans. Carl continued to rub people the wrong way, locking in his plan with anyone and everyone. Meanwhile knowing she is on the block, Alison and Kara joined together to figure out how to lock in Mike. With Mike playing the middle and proving his acting chops, buying him enough time to decide whether Alison being a threat was more painful than Carl’s overconfidence. Sadly for him Christian recognised his acting prowess and debated whether he could trust Mike at tribal. Christian joined Gabby and they locked in their vote, with Gabby vowing that tonight would be the tonight people started recognising her as a player.

At tribal council Elizabeth and her hunks arrived before Kara spoke about the ever changing lines and needing to show trust to earn trust. Nick spoke about scrambled eggs, Christian moved it to poaching and Angelina spoke about gladiators. Just to confirm, I’m not joking. Mike admitting to feeling more comfortable voting people out as the game went along, Alison felt nervous and Nick circled back to the eggs. Carl chimed in and came across super arrogant, annoying Gabby and TBH everyone. Probst congratulated Mike on being the last male Goliath standing, Angelina quoted Friday Night Lights and praised herself for getting the rice for everyone and Alison admitting to having a plan but being unsure whether she can trust said plan. With that the tribe voted and hot damn Mike swung to Gabby’s side, ending her feud with Carl and sending him to the jury.

I was completely expecting Carl to be irate to have found himself arriving at Ponderosa but he took his boot in his stride – maybe he was still tipsy from the reward, who knows? – and held me close, thrilled to see his best trucking friend. Fun fact: my time as a trucker inspired me to write the hit horror film Joy Ride starring Paul Walker, may he rest in peace. Anyway, we laughed, we cried, we lamented him letting the power go to his head … and then smashed a big fat Carl Meatballdreaux Sub.

 

 

I used to be a fiend for this Subway classic, until a tragic encounter at the one next to Studio 54. Alan and Em were starring in Cabaret and were desperate for me to swing by, however being so important and in demand I was in a rush and needed a bite, lest I faint on stage after Showgirls-ing someone out of their role. Anyway, the post-mix was running out of syrup and something whackadoodle was going on with the food.

But this one, I assure you, will sit right – striking the balance between saucy Italian meat and fresh capsi, like only Subway can muster. Well, Subway and me.

Enjoy!

 

 

Carl Meatballdreaux Sub
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil
1 onion, diced
5 garlic cloves
800g canned crushed tomatoes
1 tbsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp dried sage
4 Hulk Hogies
8 slices Swiss cheese
1-2 tomatoes, sliced
1 cup iceberg lettuce, washed, dried and shredded
1 green capsicum, sliced

Method
Combine the mince with a good whack of salt and pepper in a bowl and scrunch to combine.

Heat a good lug of oil in a dutch oven over low heat and sweat the onion and garlic for five minutes. Add the crushed tomatoes and herbs and bring to the boil. Reduce to a simmer and grabbing golf ball-sized chunks, shape balls out of the mince and add to the pot until gone. Cover and leave to simmer for fifteen minutes, or until the balls are cooked through.

To serve, slice you hoagies and top with slices of cheese. Spoon in a couple of balls and a heap of sauce before topping with the tomato, lettuce, capsicum.

And devouring, messily.

 

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Elizapple Jaloulson

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the semi-newly formed Tiva tribe were divided down gender lines with the brochachos aligning leaving Gabby and Alison left out and aligned by default. Meanwhile over at Vuku Alec turned on Kara and the Goliaths to take out Natalia – or maybe it was the pizza curse – while Elizabeth and Carl continued to feud. Finally Jabeni continued their losing way allowing Mike and Nick to set the tone for the rest of the game, taking out Lyrsa and saving Angelina from herself. Though she still doesn’t have a jacket, so that’s a thing.

We opened up at Tiva where they were enjoying their morning coffee before they were interrupted by two speed boats bringing Jabeni and Vuku to move in. Yep people, we’ve got a merge. Carl quickly explained that the individual game requires people to play individually – thanks Carl – through he is jonesing to get rid of Elizabeth and down a beer, so that’s that. John too was thrilled to smash some food at the merge feast and reclaim his gains, while Alec died and went to beer heaven. John channeled Kellyn and was hoping to go Goliath strong, however was wanting to save his bestie Christian. Gabby decided to step her game up and surveyed the merge table and signs for an advantage, Carl, Angelina and Nick shared intel from their respective tribes, with Alec’s flip quickly outed. Much to Angelina’s chagrin.

Everyone started laying down for their food coma before Elizabeth suggested the tribe name Kalokalo, much to Carl’s rage. Leading to him slurring his way around the tribe begging them to get rid of her. Nick and Christian reconvened on a water run, thrilled to still be bros before Nick shared that Dan is rumoured to be the proud owner of an idol. Speaking of whom, Dan was reconvening with his girl Kara, sharing that he had found a second idol since they last cuddled and Kara was feeling super confident. Which isn’t ending well, right? Right on cue, Alec arrived for a Goliath reunion where they all gossiped about which David to take out first, with Angelina pushing for Christian and everyone else going for Elizabeth. Alec immediately took the plans back to Christian to commence a beautiful relationship and take over the game.

That night Elizabeth noticed Dan and Kara’s close bond as they chatted and let’s just say, it did not sit well with her.

The next day Mike was gagging for a soy latte while scoping out how best to move forward, locking in an alliance with Alison and Alec, and planning to bring Nick, Christian and Gabby in for a core alliance and TBH, I love it and want it to happen. Alec approached Gabby to gauge her support, with Mike and Nick joining them and it feels like it is happening. But then again, I thought Sandra, Aubry, Malcolm and Tony would actually align in Game Changers.

Not to be outdone, Elizabeth shared her Dan-Kara intel with Nick and Carl in an attempt to turn the tribe against them, despite the fact Carl hates her. She approached Alec to see if he’d be open to flipping and joining the Davids to take them out. Knowing it isn’t the best time for him to flip, he took the information back to Dan and Kara which caused Dan to completely freak out that someone would dare to target him. And the tantrum was not pretty.

My boy Jeff arrived for the first individual immunity challenge of the season where the tribe were required to swing a pendulum around a frame without knocking a statue over in the centre or losing momentum. You know, the one Tessa dominated in Australian Survivor last year. Poor Mike was the first one eliminated, followed quickly by Christian, Carl, Gabby and Kara. TBH it was way to hypnotic to watch closing so let’s just say it came down to Elizabeth and Alison, with Dr Alison following in Dr Tessa’s footsteps, taking out the challenge and snatching immunity.

Back at camp shit quickly hit the fan with Angelina continuing to argue Elizabeth isn’t a big enough threat and that the Goliaths should instead target Christian, unaware that most of the people she is talking to are aligned with him and she is coming across as too powerful. Dan was annoyed by her utilisation of military terminology and continued to seethe since Elizabeth wanted to get rid of him. Meanwhile Gabby was trying to encourage the Davids to come together and take control of their fates … by playing up how weak and terrible they are. Alec and Alison got together, concerned about voting out Christian since it burns all of their bridges. As such, they pulled in Dan and John to flip the vote back to Elizabeth. They then approached Angelina to talk about flipping the vote back which she was extremely open to. Well played girl, wait, no, she then complained to John and Alison about Dan and came across like she was throwing a tantrum because she didn’t get her way.

Despite her earlier plan not to share who they were planning to target, Angelina pulled Elizabeth aside and told her that the Goliaths were coming for her and while I appreciate wanting to win over the jury, I don’t see this ending well. Elizabeth briefly had a breakdown before returning to camp and try and rally the Davids to flip the vote, vowing to destroy them at tribal. Which seems … late?

At tribal council Alison was grateful to be immune, Christian spoke about factorials, Alec alluded to shifting alliances and Angelina continued to struggle at tribal council. Smelling blood in the water, Elizabeth used that moment to go in and out Angelina for letting her know about the fact she was voting her out. Everyone quickly jumped in and called out her early jury management, leading to all the Goliaths whispering amongst themselves and questioning her loyalty. Gabby broke down calling out Angelina for being angry that Elizabeth dared to try and save herself. Seeing the writing on the wall, Angelina whipped out the tears as the Goliaths continued to whisper and she saw the end of her game quickly approaching. Elizabeth continued to go in on Angelina, while Alec and Dan got up to whisper and lock in their plans, while Angelina reiterated that she is voting for Elizabeth and hot damn, she is looking forward to it.

Tragically for my girl Liz, everyone gladly followed suit – and side note, well played Gabby making Angelina look like a demon and slyly locking up Liz’s jury vote before booting her – and sent her out of the game. Thankfully, she was sent to become the Queen of the Jury and if you can’t win the game, that is the real title you want, no? Liz being the absolute saint that she is, my girl took her boot in her stride. Nay, she may have been down, but she pull herself up by her bootstraps, which I think is a country term but am too lazy to google – lemme know if i’m wrong, ok? Anywho, she is bubbling ball of joy and as such, we laughed, cried from so much laughing, then cried from overdoing it with the celebratory-commissatory Elizapple Jaloulson.

 

 

To quote the great Chris Klein, there is nothing better than warm apple pie. Or at least I think that was the take away from American Pie other than don’t stick your junk in an apple pie lest you want third degree burns and well deserved shame? Again anywho, way off track – hot, sticky apple and blueberry encased by flaky strips of pastry are probably a more iconic duo than the Mason-Dixon alliance. Better yet, the strips hopefully have enough sharp edges to ward off a horny Jason Biggs.

So enjoy!

 

 

Elizapple Jaloulson
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
4 granny smith apples, cored and sliced
1 cup frozen blueberries, thawed
1 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ cup muscovado sugar
2 sheets puff pastry, halved
¼ cup almond meal
milk, for brushin’
demerara sugar, for sprinklin’
Vanilla Ice Cream, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine apples, blueberry, cinnamon and sugar in a large bowl and toss until well coated.

Place two pastry halves on a lined baking sheet and spread the almond meal over both, leaving a 1cm border around the edge. Pile the filling on top of each, again leaving the border.

Gently fold each of the remaining halves in half lengthways and cut – along the folded side – on an angle to form geometric slits, stopping 1cm from the edges. Gently unfold and lay over the heaped fruit, crimping the edges to join.

Brush with milk, sprinkle with demerara and transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Serve piping hot – safety first, obvi – with a generous dollop of Vanilla Ice Cream.

 

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Nutellyrsa Eclairres

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Jabeni were riding high on their egg reward however tragically the protein wasn’t enough to get them immunity, sending them to tribal council. While that appeared to mean certain doom for Lyrsa and Nick, Natalie continued to grate on her tribemates. She then attempted to bully Lyrsa or Nick into giving up their jackets for a cold Angelina to secure themselves safety, which backfired as they all joined together to blindside her while Angelina desperately begged her for her jacket.

Natalie. Natalie. Natalie ..?

The next day Jabeni were feeling positive without Natalie’s negativity to bring them down, while Lyrsa was just shocked to still be there. Angelina apologised for writing Lyrsa, explaining it was all a ploy for the jacket which did not sit well with Lyrsa. They lay around bonding, laughing and reminiscing about Natalie epically ignoring Angelina. Speaking of whom, Mike, Nick and Lyrsa got together to talk smack about Angelina’s desperation at tribal, with them all agreeing that they do not trust her and that she is the next to go. If it gets to that.

Over at Tiva the nerdmance continued to be adorable as Christian explained fishing and Gabby was sweet. Suck it haters who are done with her crying. Wouldn’t you cry if you had to live through multiple cyclones? Anyway, Christian wasn’t successful but he did lure John to the shore and I am moister than an oyster.

Speaking of flooding my basement, Jeff arrived for this week’s reward challenge where the tribes would have a bag of coconuts tethered to one tribe member with the remaining members forced to lug it about as they go through an obstacle course, release four rings and then land their rings on a long, hard pole. Given it was for cooking utensils, spices and kebabs, everyone was salivating and ready to dominate. Alec and Gabby got Vuku and Tiva out to an early lead, as Alec’s junk bounced everywhere. Sadly Alec’s BDE wasn’t enough to land the rings allowing John and Dan to snatch the win for Tiva while Nick snatched second for Jabeni. But they get to look at Alec so everyone got some meat, you know?

Tiva returned to camp to celebrate their victory and cook up their kebabs, and most importantly, the brochachos were feeding each other by hand and I love it. Christian, John and Dan are the throuple we deserve, the latter’s pining for Kara be damned. Gabby and Alison however started to notice that the throuple hooking up was bad for them, so the girls got together and pledged their allegiance to each other. Gabby then started to break down, leading to Alison tearing up and damn I need this tribe to all make the merge. So they can stay dating, obvi.

Though Alison’s plan to blindside Dan is definitely something I can get behind, given a blindside of someone with two idols is always fun.

Meanwhile over at Vuku Kara and Elizabeth seemed to be getting closer again, with Kara trying to massage her back which she injured four weeks before heading out to the island. They then started splitting the bamboo in the shelter in an attempt to make things more comfortable, which Davie and Carl felt was a bad idea given it would be dark soon and the shelter would be uneven. This annoyed Elizabeth, who felt that they were being unfair and she can’t take it anymore, while the boys were frustrated that she was doing it while everyone else was trying to relax. The only person thrilled by the turn of events seemed to be Kara, who knew that should they lose the upcoming immunity challenge, Elizabeth is the most likely target.

Speaking of which, Jeff returned for said challenge where the tribes were required to carry a large heavy saucer to a water tower, fill it with water, carry it through obstacles, pour water into a well, release puzzle pieces and, wait for it, solve said puzzle. Vuku and Tiva got out to an early lead, until Vuku lost most of their water, followed by Jabeni, leaving Tiva to storm ahead. Tiva made quick work of the puzzle, followed by Vuku handing them both immunity before Jabeni even released their puzzle pieces. TBH, it wasn’t easy to watch. Particularly when they dropped their saucer on the third attempt and opted to give up.

Back at camp Mike was feeling emotional about crushing someone’s dreams at the upcoming tribal council. Given there are 7 people left from each of the original tribes and he was anticipating a merge, Mike was growing concerned that he will need to turn on Nick and Lyrsa to save himself moving forward. While Angelina was hoping to work with Lyrsa, the latter still didn’t trust Angelina after jacketgate and as such, Angelina was stuck working with Mike. Angelina approached Mike and locked in the vote for Mike and agreed that they need to get Nick on board. Lyrsa and Mike got together to talk about getting rid of Angelina, with Mike open to the idea while Nick was being worked Angelina to turn on Lyrsa. Rounding out the pairings, Nick and Mike approached each other to decide which way they will go giving Angelina is a bigger threat … but Mike is scared about taking her out and screwing over all of the Goliaths.

At tribal council Nick spoke about how tight the tribe has gotten in such a small time, Mike spoke about loving everyone but being concerned about navigating the next part of the game. Lyrsa agreed that trust and loyalty were the key factors in her decision tonight, while Angelina added strategy which is pretty much a given, no? And kinda just paints a target on her back. Angelina channelled Keith and spoke about sticking to the plan, Lyrsa mentioned everyone has a plan and Nick pledged his loyalty to Jabeni rather than the OG tribes. Angelina then jumped in to sing Nick’s praises which seemed a bit desperate. Thankfully Lyrsa called her out for trying to buy his vote, while Mike reiterated that tonight’s vote will dictate the remainder of the game. With that the tribe voted and it seemed Mike chose to set the game up for the Goliaths – maybe – by taking out Lyrsa and sending her to the jury.

While Lyrsa – the bright, sparkling gem that she is – took her boot in her stride, she wasn’t hella salty about the fact she would be vacationing with Natalie and then has to suffer through sitting next to her at the reunion special. And while I love Natalie with all my heart, I also loved Lyrsa so I let her talk smack about my friend before trying to sweeten the deal with a couple of big fat Nutellyrsa Eclairres.

 

 

Eclairs are perfect. Nutella too, is perfect. So therefore it should go without saying that Nutella flavoured eclairs are perfect, however I do have that theory that two hot people can have a really ugly baby? In any event, this is delicious. Like the random hot child born of two classically unattractive peeps. Though this isn’t random, since eclairs and nutella. I’ll stop talking.

Enjoy!

 

 

Nutellyrsa Eclairres
Serves: 1 salty boot, or 12 happy peeps.

Ingredients
1 batch Eclair Danes, including crème pâtissière but not the chocolate glaze
1 cup nutella
½ cup roasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Prep the eclairs as per Claire’s recipe, up to filling the pastry but before you glaze.

Once that is done, fill a piping bag with nutella and chill for half an hour or so.

Pipe on to the top of the eclairs, sprinkle with hazelnuts and devour. Knowing that cutting out the difficult part of the recipe on this page lulled you into a false sense of security.

 

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