Eggs

ustralian Survivor's second boot Laurolex Choong

Laurolex Choong

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Breakfast, Main, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 12 new champs were dumped in the Fijian jungle to face off against a brand new batch of chumps. The Champions lived up to their names early on, taking out reward and setting themselves up with a killer camp while the Contenders struggling to get it together. Particularly Baden who wasn’t metabolising John’s ‘thing’ beans. Thankfully they found their footing at the right time, snatching immunity and leaving the Champions to battle it out amongst themselves. While Steven’s athletes alliance decided to target Pia, Luke rallied the rest in an attempt to get rid of Susie, neither of which interested Nova. She then employed her Canberra background, politicked and got my dear friend Roxette look-a-like Anastasia booted from the game.

The next morning we checked in on the Champions, who were busy as work fixing up the camp as rain rolled over the beach. Janine then gave the tribe a bit of a boost, leading the group through yoga and bringing everyone together. Luke tried to follow along but remembered his skills lay in being a creep, so instead wandered off to find a location to build this year’s spy shack right next to the well, to secure optimal goss.

Meanwhile over at the Contenders Mr Megan Gale got the fire started, much to the delight of his tribemates. As they gleefully smashed their first hot meal, poor Baden was feeling left right out, unable to find a ride or die – we then heard about his backstory and I am in love with him. He and Shaun then bonded cutting wood and let’s just say, there was definitely wood in my house. Ruining my vibe was Andy who was not keen on Baden, deeming him ill equipped for the game. He then admitted that he hasn’t been able to speak strategy and then brought up the lack of superfans on the tribe, which I’m fairly certain Baden realised was a terrible attempt at a cover up.

We then saw John in speedos and I still find him inappropriately sexy.

Back at the Champions, Pia was feeling her oats after surviving the first tribal council, until Susie broke my spirit and reminded me that Pia is still screwed as she believes that the seven athletes will never break up. Which I desperately hope breaks up at the next tribal council. Luke and Zadavid were desperately trying to figure out how to get themselves, Pia and Janine out of their predicament. They decided that Abbey and Ross were their best hopes, so David put his sexy body on the line and went to woo Abbey while Luke tried to buddy up with Ross. After quickly charming Abbey, he followed up with Ross and TBH, if either of them refuses David they are mad. I mean, he has a white speedo?

Jonathan and his guns returned for this week’s reward challenge for fishing gear and material to build a raft where the tribes would face off in pairs to push a turnstile around until they crossed their colour over a line. Matt and Shaun made extremely quick work of E.T. and Luke, snatching the first point for the Contenders. John and Andy put up a valiant fight against Steven and Ross, who ultimately secured the Champions first point. E.T. and Janine made quick work of Baden and Hannah, while Casey and Sarah evened things up against Susie and Pia after laying in wait for a couple of minutes. Then Janine and Abbey happened, destroyed Sam and Daisy and snatched reward for the Champions. Did I mention Janine is a bloody icon?

The Champions were jubilant back at camp, none more so than E.T. who was ready to go fishing ASAP while everyone else focused on the tarp. While the men went to scope out the fishing prospects, Pia, Susie and Abbey rummaged through the raft bamboo, just missing the clue that had been shoved up inside it. Much to Luke’s delight, who only went fishing to try and distract everyone from looking. Thankfully he caught a minnow for the tribe of eleven, so everyone was kinda happy, and hopefully for him, distracted.

The mood was decidedly more sombre back at the Contenders camp where Shaun continued to be the most beautiful man on the cast. But enough about that, Laura was particularly smarting given she was forced to sit out of the challenge and she worried that it was because she is short. She decided she needed to form bonds with people given they believe she is weaker, approaching Casey and Hannah to try and save herself. She was right to be worried though, given ice cream man Harry did not trust her in the slightest and felt getting rid of her should be his number one priority.

Back over at the Champions Luke lay in wait under the cover of darkness to search for his idol. Tragically Ross has the strangest snore of all time, keeping Nova and Pia up with him in hysterics. Eventually though, they went to sleep, giving Luke enough time to find the clue to the hidden immunity idol, which told him it was buried near the swamp, filling him with joy … as it isn’t something that someone else will be able to stumble upon. Given he isn’t part of the athletes alliance, I desperately hope this isn’t foreshadowing for someone snatching it without a clue.

Jonathan finally returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes were required to dive down a slide into a pull, climb over two walls, pull them down to clear a path, drag a heavy box of puzzle pieces through the mud … and then solve said puzzle. John continued to look sexy, rocking a speedo and getting the Contenders out to an early lead. Ultimately the tribes both got to the walls at the same time, with the Champions barely edging out a lead. The gap closed again, as the tribes were neck and neck pulling their boxes through the mud. More importantly, John looked great covered in mud. Both tribes were exhausted, with David coaching the Champions to be calm and have a break to get a second wind. Which they did, dragging it to the end zone, while the Contenders continued to struggle at the final obstacle. Steven and Ross worked hard on the puzzle, driven by the pained screams as the Contenders continued to struggle, ultimately snatching victory while their competitors wallowed in the mud.

Back at camp the Contenders were heartbroken to have lost, particularly Matt, who identified Baden as the weakest link, the reason for their loss and as such, decided he needed to go. We then learnt that Matt is a teacher slash wrestler and while he is coming across as arrogant, I find him very attractive. He then rallied Sarah and Laura to get rid of Baden, while Harry approached Andy to discuss what he was thinking. Once again, Andy surprised me by wanting to protect my dear sweet Baden, knowing he is a safe number for him, so he and Andy decided to flip the vote on Laura instead. Harry worked his way around camping explaining why Laura needs to go, which made her nervous since he hasn’t had a conversation with her. She then approached Harry to find out what he was thinking, with him lying that he is still planning to get rid of Baden. She then questioned who Baden thinks is going home, and she did not buy his lie that he thinks it is Sarah. Matt however didn’t love the idea of getting rid of Laura, so tried to convince Harry that putting his neck on the line wasn’t the best idea.

At tribal council Jonathan rubbed salt in Matt’s wounds, pointing out that they can’t seem to pull together many wins. This made Matt point out that they have a few weak spots in the tribe and while Daisy denied that there are weak team members, he continued to allude to Baden, though didn’t have the strength to admit it. Shaun admitted that strength is important in the early phase of the game, while Baden and Laura both tried to convince the tribe that neither of them have simply had the opportunity to highlight their strengths, which may save them down the line. Laura regretted not making stronger bonds, Andy continued to be way too much though made the valid point that friends are needed to survive in the game. Laura argued that friends are only good if you can trust them and in Survivor it is hard to trust anyone. Andy then spoke in circles though appeared to impress Jonathan, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Laura and Baden both gave last ditch pitches to their tribe and given the way the hero music began to swell as Baden bared his soul to the tribe, it seems like a foregone conclusion. Andy then reminded people that strength isn’t everything, and cohesion is just as important. Matt then described the vote as simple, before they all filed off to cast theirs and four each stacked up on Laura and Baden, proving it clearly wasn’t that simple. Well until the remaining votes rolled in for Laura and sent her from the game as the second boot.

She heard me before she even finished descending the stairs from tribal council.

“Those stupid height-ist bastards. How dare they do this to our community?!”

Have I ever mentioned I am barely 5”10 like Cindy Crawford? No? Well I am, or not. You know what I mean. In any event, I pulled Laura into my arms and commenced sobbing uncontrollably, heartbroken that she was booted when Harry is also useless in challenges, Andy is super annoying and Matt’s cockiness is making it really hard to thirst for him. Why does such a plucky icon have to go, when they are disappointing me? This sort of thing went on for a good three hours before she could calm me down long enough to explain that she was ok, went out with her head held high and was pumped to wash away her disappointment with a big, fat Laurolex Choong.

 

Laura Choong smashing her second boot Laurolex Choong

 

While this is a highly Australian-ised version of the Ugandan breakfast of champions, it maintains all the tasty happiness. Warm, crispy chapati and soft, fluffy eggs sandwiching a bunch of vegetables, bacon and cheese – it is near perfection.

Enjoy!

 

Laura Choong smashing her second boot Laurolex Choong

 

Laurolex Choong
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
6 rashers bacon, diced
1 tomato, roughly chopped
4 shallots, sliced
½ red capsicum, diced
½ green capsicum, diced
4 eggs, beaten
½ cup cheddar cheese, grated
1 tbsp sriracha
2 Chapategan Garlicsior

Method
Place a frying pan on the stove over medium heat and cook the bacon for five minutes, or until lightly crisped. Add the tomato, shallots, capsicums and cook for a further couple of minutes.

Take half of the mixture out of the pan and pour half the eggs in the pan. Sprinkle with half the cheese, drizzle with half the sriracha and cook for a minute or two before topping with a chapati. Flip onto a piece of greaseproof paper and roll the chapati to form a roll … of eggs.

Repeat the process with the remaining ingredients and smash with your favourite second boot.

 

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Merylktert Szolkiewicz

Baking, Dessert, Pie, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa Ta’alo narrowly secured immunity in the final immunity challenge – with Durao being the only one to know the merge was imminent – with Cobus rallying the tribe to stick together she a merge be happening anytime soon. And honestly, I’m not sure whatever happened because he too is hot. Despite Durao snatching an idol on the Islands of Secret, he didn’t feel the need to play it since Geoffrey came up with a plan to blindside Nathan, while baited Meryl and Dante into playing their immunity idol. At tribal council Geoffrey was a bit too good at baiting Dante, with them having an ugly, heated fight, leading to his plan coming together perfectly as Meryl played her idol and Nathan was booted from the game and no longer dateable, since he missed merge. Despite the SA speedos.

Back at Sa’ula Geoffrey was worried about any backlash from tribal council. Thankfully Meryl wanted to nip things in the bud, saying that she isn’t the villain and hasn’t lied to anyone. Which Nicole was not buying at all. Speaking of Nicole, Dante was now branding her unstable before Meryl told him that he needs to reel it in and not burn all the bridges. Nicole approached Dante and Meryl to clear the air, though continued to talk in circles which pissed Dante off which led to him cursing her out and burning the charred out bridges until the ash floated away on a light breeze. And just like that, my boner is killed. Things still weren’t looking good in the cold light of day as the tribe talked about the blow-up, with Nicole glad that everyone got to see Meryl and Dante’s true colours and hopeful her bond with Geoffrey and Mmaba will be enough to drag her to the merge. Dante too was still seething, feeling like Nicole was talking over him and putting her finger in her face and hot damn, I need to catch up with Alicia Calaway. 

The tribes met Nico in the jungle where Rob was crushed to discover that Nathan had been voted out of the game, vowing to stop playing nice immediately. But that is not we’re here for – the merge has arrived and everyone was thrilled to be done with their tribes and chow down on a huge Steers feast. While I hate the product placement – I mean, where is my plug – those burgs’, fries and thickies look amaze. Rob quickly moved on from his boyfie Rob, pulling Mike in for a hug and pledging allegiance before whispering to Jacques that they too will get there. Before Rob had aligned with everyone, the tribe sat down to devour their meals, rivalling Meg Ryan with their reactions. Well until Seipei asked Nicole what happened that lead to Nathan’s departure, with her saying how hard the night before handing over Nathan’s necklace to Rob, bringing him to tears. 

Jacques buddied up to Dante and Meryl to find out what they had been up to, Laetitia led the charge was a swim scene while poor Durao realised that he was lactose intolerant and shouldn’t have had the milkshakes. While the tribe swam, Meryl and Dante pulled Cobus and Jacques aside to fill them in on how badly they screwed things up the night before, pissing Geoffrey off in the process given he believes immediately scrambling is in poor taste.

Back at camp the tribe discovered that they had been gifted a couch, tea and coffee, though the price was a lack of shelter. As they started again, the tribe split up to work with Meryl highlighting how well connected Nicole is in the game, which made her the biggest threat. Meanwhile Geoffrey started to regret blindsiding Nathan, worried that it put a target on his back. Speaking of said target, Meryl approached Steffi and explained what had happened with the blindside and how Nicole broke their trust. While Steffi tried to downplay the connection of the OG tribe, she immediately approached Rob to hang out and work with Cobus, who was now hoping to slide under Rob’s wing and be his new number two. He then reminded everyone that not everything in life is straight and I live. Also living is Durao, who was getting a massage from Meryl as she continued to try and find anyone to align with.

Back at the well Steffi and Laetitia approached Nicole to find out what happened last night and whether Meryl is telling the truth, with Nicole explaining that she didn’t want to make the decision she made last night but she had to. And at the end of the day, they were so rude to her they no longer deserve an explanation. The trio cheersed to relationships and just like that, Laetitia is back to being my Queen – loitering around, not being a target and befriending everyone. Down by the shore Jacques and Rob smashed some take away, with Jacques filling him in on the extra vote for the upcoming tribal council. Before they could plan any further, Nicole joined them and tried to deflect from the truth about Nathan’s blindside.

The next day Mike, Geoffrey and Mmaba got together after breakfast to figure out where all the numbers lay, and who best to align with. They agreed Rob would be a great meatshield and Jacques would be helpful, and while they used to be close with Geoffrey, he has caused drama and may paint a target on his back. Over at the well Rob and Seipei got together to talk about how angry they are at Nicole for her betrayal, though agreed that she has nobody else to align with and as such, her desperation will keep her loyal. Nicole pulled Rob aside – with Geoffrey loitering behind them to eavesdrop – to explain that whether she voted him out or not, he was going that night and would have quit, so had to go with the flow to avoid taking any heat. While he said he believed her, she still looked down and she knew that she needed to get Seipei to help smooth things over. She pulled her aside and explain the situation before pulling out Nathan’s half idol, and vowing to work together to use it for them when needed. WIth them wedded by idol, Nicole approached Steffi to clear the air and while Steffi was understanding, she told us that her new alliance was more important, putting Nicole on the outs.

Nico returned for the first individual immunity challenge of the season, which is the Shi-Ann Huang and Parvati Shallow memorial hold your hand above your head while tethered to a bucket of water, with the last person standing dry wins immunity. And in addition to immunity, the victor could send someone to the Island of Secrets, rendering them immune as well. Queen Laetitia literally dropped out straight away and I honestly think she thought that she had to pull the bar down when Nico said go. Dante, Mike and Seipei quickly followed, while Meryl annoyed the shit out of everyone by humming to herself. Mmaba dropped out while Nicole terrorised everyone by talking about snacks, which then claimed Durao and Meryl. After an hour, Zaddy Cobus dropped out while Nicole annoyed the shit out of me, despite me not even being starved. After two hours Nicole ran out of menu items, so Nico added torture telling everyone the would now have to balance on just one leg, claiming Jacques, Nicole and Rob, leaving Steffi and Geoffrey to battle it out for immunity. WIth Geoffrey finally losing is balance, handing immunity to Steffi and herself, as she opted to send herself to the Island of Secrets to avoid the drama of tribal.

Steffi arrived at the Island of Secrets and it became clear that she thought that she had to go their to maintain her immunity before explaining she didn’t even want to win immunity and only pushed through to avoid Geoffrey getting it.

Back at camp the tribe yakked it up as they washed the painted war off the water before Meryl and Dante started talking about the vote, wanting to get rid of Nicole for being annoying or Geoffrey for being the biggest threat. Dante pulled in Jacques, Cobus, Meryl, Laetitia and their extra vote to target Geoffrey. Rob too was planning to take out Geoffrey, until he noticed Meryl scrambling like mad and he realised that she is the more pressing concern and as such, she needs to go ASAP. He then locked in the vote with Mike, Geoffrey and Durao, with them identifying Seipei, Nicole and Mmaba as trustworthy allies. Cobus, Seipei, Jacques and Nicole were the next to join Rob to discuss getting rid of Meryl, with nicole arguing that since everyone knows she is a threat, doesn’t that mean she is no longer a threat. And while they agreed, Jacques rightly pointed out that whichever pair they target out of Meryl and Dante, and Geoffrey and Mmaba, they need to break up the other one the next tribal. Rob and Seipei got together to talk about Nicole’s apologies, with both of them agreeing to sleep with one eye open. Cobus played coy with Meryl and Dante, who both wished Nicole was a target instead while Geoffrey too was nervous about how tribal council was about to play out.

At tribal council Nicole admitted that the merge has completely destroyed the hierarchy of the tribes, with this vote dictating where everything really stands. Jacques spoke about each different alliance having different ideas about how to vote, though they can come together to get rid of a common enemy. Cobus shared that he would be voting out the biggest strategic threat, Meryl pointed out that social players are the true threats which Dante jumped on board with and while it works for Nicole and Geoffrey, the fact he kept saying he let the cat out of the bag. Durao said that he is voting out the least socially aware female in the game, Mmaba was targeting a threat, Geoffrey and Rob said they were going with the numbers – while MEryl and Durao whispered, with her thinking he was referring to Nicole – while Nicole planned to get rid of someone that she can’t trust.

With that the tribe voted and piled up six each on Meryl before the latter secured the thirteenth vote and found herself becoming the Queen of the Jury. While I was heartbroken to see my fell curly head Queen exit the game, I am thrilled that it happened at the start of the jury which is one of my favourite places for someone to finish on Survivor. I assured her that at least she is still dateable as she made the jury and her long-term husband doesn’t need to divorce her, toasted a game well played and absolutely destroyed a Merylktert Szolkiewicz in her honour.

When you translate it, a milk tart doesn’t really sound very enjoyable but let me tell you, this little pie is damned near perfection. A delicate custard in a crispy pastry covered with a hearty sprinkle of cinnamon – glorious!

Enjoy!

Merylktert Szolkiewicz
Serves: 2 queens … of the jury.

Ingredients
125g unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 ¼ cup raw caster sugar
4 eggs
2 ¼ cups plain flour, sifted
2 tsp baking powder
1L milk
⅓ cup cornflour
¼ tsp vanilla essence
ground cinnamon, to dust

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C. 

Combine the butter, ½ a cup of sugar, an egg, 2 cups of flour and baking powder in a food processor and blitz until it all comes together to form a dough. Form into a disc, wrap in cling and transfer to the fridge to chill for half an hour.

Once chill, roll the disc out until it is 5mm thick and line two pie dishes. Prick the bases with a fork, line and add some baking weights and blind bake for 15 minutes. Remove the weights and return to the oven to cook for a further 10 minutes. Remove and leave to cool.

While the crusts chill, heat the milk in a saucepan until it boils before removing from the heat immediately.

Whisk the remaining eggs, sugar and flour together in a bowl with the cornflour and vanilla until a thick-ish paste forms. Whisk the eggs into the warm milk until smooth and combined. Return the saucepan to the heat and cook over medium for 5 minutes, or until it thickens. Pour into the pie crusts, smooth the tops and transfer to the fridge to set overnight.

When the pie has set, dust with cinnamon and devour. Regally like the Queen that you are.


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Ab-BEC Jacobson

Breakfast, Four and Three and Two and Done: A Farewell to Broad City, Main, Snack, Street Food

To be completely honest with you, it was an agonising decision to have to pick between the two kweens of Broad City, as I count down to its heartbreaking, soul shaking, crushing end this week. The choice, I imagine, would be like trying to pick one’s favourite phone wig.

In any event, I had to make my choice like Sophie, and I settled on the hand-shaking icon that is the one Miss Abbi Jacobson.

I’ve been a close friend of both broads since they’re time at UCB, and shocked even myself, when I didn’t cut them from my life as soon as they opted to produce Broad City without me. They’re reason making so much sense, in that I, their teacher, could intimidate the with my talent.

But this is about my glorious bond with Ab, so I need to get back on track. As an avid, half-arsed videographer, we bonded when she put her MICA training to use by trying to give me some tricks of the trade. While most people would call me a lost cause, Abs pushed through and for that I am forever grateful.

While I had my guard up and was pretty grumpy when she arrived at my door – the phrase, “you and Ilana have betrayed me by ending the show on a high note, on your own terms,” may have been uttered – she quickly softened the blow by reminding me that the episodes will live on forever. And by promising me that they will give me in character skypes each month.

With that, I no longer held it against her and was strong enough to toast their success with a freshly toasted, Broad City approved Ab-BEC Jacobson.

 

 

The gals have oft extolled the virtues of a bodega sandwich, but TBH, I was always too terrified to try one given the fact I only stumbled into bodegas to get beer and use extremely flawed ATMs. But one time Abs took me by force and I fell in love. While I am tragically bodega-less in Brisbane, this little home-job sure makes me feel like I’m back in the boroughs. Salty, gooey and oh so warming – can you tell I’m under a really cold air-con vent right now? – this bagel is near perfection.

Like Broad City. Enjoy!

 

 

Ab-BEC Jacobson
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
6 rashers streaky bacon
2 Beygel Knowles, split
4 slices American cheese
4 eggs, lightly whisked with a good whack of salt and pepper

Method
Place a skillet over medium heat until nice and hot. Add the bacon and cook, flipping once, until glorious and crisp. Remove from the pan to drain on some kitchen paper.

Add the bagels to pan, split side down, and cook for a couple of minutes, or until they’re golden and crisp on the inside. Remove from the pan and line the bottom half with three rashers of bacon each and a slice of cheese.

Finally pour the eggs into the pan and cook, folding on top of itself, until just set. Immediately place on top of the bacon and cheese. Another another slice of cheese, just because, and close up sandy.

Devour immediately, with a mixture of BEC joy and Broad City abandonment issues.

 

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Stickeith Date Sowell Pudding

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Edge of Extinction, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Aubry and Joe were on the outs at Kama given the penchant of returning players to dominate in seasons with newbies. Unless of course they’re up against a trio of queens in the form of Danni, Sophie and Denise. At Manu Kelley and David were feeling a reprieve given Reem and Wendy callously tried to teach Keith to swim – and in turn help the tribe in challenges – moving the target on to them. As such, it was poor Reem that found herself becoming the first person voted out … and electing to go to the Island of Extinction.

We opened up with poor Reem who was bored and confused, unsure where she is and what she will have to do for her shot back into the game. No timeline and no instructions truly are the cruelest mindfuck and I already feel less angry about the twist. Though it was super hard watching Reem break down over how hard it was sitting isolated on a desolate island thinking about everything she left behind.

Meanwhile at Manu the tribe were laughing it up comparing their wrinkly hands before Wendy explained to Rick, and sadly David, about wanting to take out Kelley given she has had two shots. And she believes is the ringleader that has sent her to the bottom of the totem pole. While Kelley was befriended everyone else, Wendy’s words started to penetrate David and Rick as Wentworth’s power appeared to grow. Kelley was understanding of her position, given she spent most of Second Chances on the bottom – that Savage blindside though – and knew how dangerous it was to her game, so suggested the tribe went on a group idol hunt to mitigate the risk of Wendy finding one.

We jumped over to Kama where I shit you not, Ron was leading the tribe in some choreography which truly highlighted the need to get Alyssa Edwards on this show in full drag ASAP. Everyone was enjoying his high energy, except for zaddy Eric who was MIA and Aubry who wasn’t enjoying the kumbaya nature of a tribe that has not gone to tribal. But hold her drink, because she is about to approach the newbies one by one to find out how they feel about returning players which no one was interested in talking about. Proving the fact that they are totally screwed. Victoria, Ron and Julia swapped stories by the shore and realised that everyone has been told the same thing and as such, Victoria wants her out yesterday.

Over at Manu Kelley and Lauren were searching for an idol, while Rick and David speculated that the group hunt plan is the perfect may to hide the fact that idol-whisperer Kelley has one. They agreed that they were happy working with Kelley at the moment, but David knows that Kelley won’t let him get to the merge and as such, it isn’t the worst idea to join with Wendy who has zero allies and will be loyal. Wendy rejoined them to reiterate her pitch and point out her vote last week proved her loyalty to an ally, and with her gone, that is up for grabs.

Oh and Rick and David are all in and I kinda love it. And the fact that David is in the best position of the returnees, despite being the weakest.

Back at Kama Gavin and Eric commenced the idol hunting on their tribe, and damn, I got distracted by Eric. Zeric. Zadderic? Eraddy? Anyway this didn’t go unnoticed by Julie, who channeled Angelina and highlighted that men always find idols, while women don’t. While it was super confusing that she complained about not looking for idols instead of doing it, I do love that it was low-key pushing a women’s alliance with Victoria. I also love that she is as clueless about hunter-gatherer roles as I am.

Speaking of idols, Lauren was still searching over on Manu and followed in the footsteps of her heroes Wentworth and Parvati and found said idol. And proved that a guaranteed way to not find an idol is not looking for an idol.

My dear Probst returned to the fray for this week’s immunity challenge – a Game Changers classic – where the tribes were required to swim out to a cage, climb over it, release a big, fat snake, take it back to shore, release numbered tiles to solve a combination and release rings that they need to land on paddles to spell immunity. I think, I focused on snakes and rings. Given Keith wasn’t given enough time to learn to swim, Kama got out to a huge lead while Chris desperately tried to help him along. Keith also struggled with climbing as damn, Chris’ wet jocks look good. Despite it looking like it was going to be a blowout, Manu closed the gap as Keith rolled around in the sand. Both tribes were neck and neck as Joe and Keith tossed rings and sorry, distracted again. Despite a brief interlude of Keith showing that he couldn’t throw, Chris desperately tried to snatch victory to no avail, as Kama once again won immunity.

And Aubry reversed the curse. If that’s allowed without Ghost Island? I don’t know.

Back at camp the Kelley vs. Wendy war started to heat up, while Wardog – still a thing – suggested that Keith’s failure should be making him their number one target. He pushed that plan with Lauren, Kelley and Rick, which Kelley was not into as he is a threat to no one and Wendy is a threat to her, so needs to go. David too was disappointed, though because the plan to take out Kelley would have to be put on hold. Poor Chris also wasn’t loving the plan given he had apparently formed a close bond with him and didn’t want to lose his loyal idol.

Chris approached Rick to float the idea of getting rid of Kelley, which Rick was obviously thrilled about given that has been his goal the entire episode. He took the tea back to David, who was thrilled at how things were shaping up and to get the chance to get her before she gets him. They roped in Keith, who was obvi keen, before Wardog single handedly shut down the plan, convincing Chris that keeping Kelley would be the perfect meat shield should they get screwed by a swap. He then channeled Cirie and pointed out that keep goats around means it could take their spot, so they need to get him out before they realise he is an easy win. Kelley approached Chris and Wardog, and immediately knew something was up and rightly worried that she was about to be voted out.

At tribal council Wendy and Kelley admitted to being nervous after getting votes at the previous tribal council, as Kelley elaborated that being a returning player is a blessing and a curse. She then reiterated that she would be a perfect shield and is strong enough to help them win challenges, which is pretty much her only play. Probst shaded Keith’s challenge performance, with him obviously trying to point out good relationships mean more. But given they’re two-nil, I’d find it hard not to focus on strength since they’ll keep coming back and lose numbers – and potentially find themselves out – should they not think about it. Wardog was hopeful that a blindside may be coming, and after the vote, he will know whether he has placed his trust with the right people. David agreed a blindside is coming, which Keith agreed with because everyone ran the numbers and should be confident heading in to tribal.

Talk turned to ticking off the checklist of the Survivor experience, which blindsides are a part of while Wardog cautioned everyone that focus on a checklist rather than rational gameplay isn’t a great move. And just like that, I’m ok with calling him Wardog again. With that the tribe voted and they piled up on Keith who they either really did a number on convincing him he was safe, or was desperately playing for the camera as he walked out of the tribal council. And played for the back of the theatre as he deliberated over going to the Island of Extinction. Which, spoiler alert, he obviously does but not before a verbal beatdown from me telling him to cut the theatrics and a big bowl of Stickeith Date Sowell Pudding.

 

 

Sticky date pudding would have to be one of my favourite desserts. Light and fluffy yet rich and sticky, it melts in your mouth and fills you with joy. Add in some ice cream and well, consider my shorts creamed themselves.

Enjoy!

 

 

Stickeith Date Sowell Pudding
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
250g pitted dates, chopped
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
185g butter, softened
2 cups muscovado sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 ¾ cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
300ml thickened cream

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and line the base of a 22cm cake pan.

Combine the dates and bicarb in a bowl with 1 ½ cups boiling water and leave to steep for half an hour.

Once the dates are foamy and glorious, cream 125g of the butter, 1 cup of the sugar and 2 tsp vanilla in a stand mixer on medium. Once it’s light and fluffy, beat in the eggs one at a time until well combined before removing and folding through the date mixture, flour and baking powder.

Spoon in the pan and bake for 45 minutes, or until lightly browned and an inserted skewer comes out clean. Allow to rest while you make the sauce.

Speaking of which, combine the remaining sugar, vanilla, butter and cream in a saucepan over medium heat. Cook, stirring, until sauce comes to the boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes.

Invert pudding onto a serving plate and stab wildly with a skewer. Slowly pour over ½-1 cup of sauce, allowing it to soak in but not flow over the edge. Leave to rest for 15 minutes before serving, slathered in more sauce and a generous heap of Vanilla Ice Cream.

 

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Lemon Chrisotta Daughertynuts

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Vanuatu - Islands of Fire, Sweets

Another week, another painful wait for a cast announcement. I mean, since the season has already been filmed – not to mention my ability to time travel – I’m totally all over the cast of Edge of Extinction, I feel bad that you’re not in the know. And I can’t give you my sassy hot takes.

I will tease the fact there are three guys, all of whom I love, that I can not tell apart.

A lack of cast however will still not deter me from counting down – and trying to push through my concerns slash the general negative sentiment – to the upcoming season however, so I called my dear friend Chris Daugherty to drop by.

And hot damn, I just realised that this year’s countdown features dates with victors from controversial or low-rated seasons?!

Anyway despite an apparent dislike for Vanuatu as a whole, it is up there with one of the best turnarounds by a winner. Chris went from potentially being the first boot to find himself the last man standing at the final seven before joining with three other outcasts to take control of the game, slaying his biggest threats and taking out victory.

While I was rooting for Eliza when it aired – who I really need to catch one day soon – since she was young and scrappy and I was a teen, there is no denying that Chris deserved victory after overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds.

With that, I finally told him that I was proud of the game he played, asked him to help me figure out a way to identify the three identical strangers of Edge of Extinction and smashed a few Lemon Chrisotta Daughertynuts.

 

 

You know how much I love a creamy filled bun, and these babies sure don’t disappoint. Pillowy dough, tart lemony cheese and a sweet and sour crust? I’m in heaven.

Enjoy!

 

 

Lemon Chrisotta Daughertynuts
Serves: 24.

Ingredients
750g flour
150g raw caster sugar, plus ¼ cup for filling
7g dried yeast
1 cup lukewarm milk
⅓ cup buttermilk
3 eggs, at room temperature
30g melted butter, plus extra to coat the ‘nuts
250g ricotta
3 lemons
1 cup caster sugar

Method
Combine flour, 150g raw caster sugar and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer. Using the dough hook, stir in the milk, buttermilk, 2 eggs, and 30g of melted butter. Attach the hook and knead for five minutes, or until smooth and elastic. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and leave to prove for two hours.

When proving is half an hour from being done, blitz the ricotta with the remaining egg and the juice and zest of two lemons. Chill in a bowl until you’re ready to go.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Knock back the dough, turn onto a lightly floured surface and roll to 3mm thick. Cut into 24 rounds and place a dollop of the ricotta mixture in the centre of each. Fold to enclose, roll into balls and place on a lined baking sheet. Repeat until done, cover and leave to prove for a further hour. Once puffed, transfer to the oven to bake for 10 minutes.

While they’re baking, combine the regular caster sugar with the zest of the remaining lemon.

While the doughnuts are still hot, dip in the butter and toss through the lemon sugar. Then devour.

 

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Sandra Dohnuts

Baking, Dessert, Golden Globe Gold, Golden Globe Gold: Goldy Bird, Snack, Sweets

Just like that we’ve arrived at the end of this year’s Golden Globe Gold celebration, Goldy Bird and are ready to see whether my bets will pay literal dividends or whether I will need to assume a new identity and disappear again. But let’s not worry about that because after catching up with the divine Ryan, Katey, Rich, Diane and Gael, we’re wrapping things up with icon, queen and this year’s nominee slash host slash my dear friend, Sandra Oh.

I’ve known Sandy for close to two decades after meeting on the set of The Princess Diaries. I was part of Mandy’s entourage at the time but I quickly bonded with Sandra given she is extremely delightful, charming and I knew she was destined for greatness.

Despite the fact I introduced Sand and her ex-husband, I took her under my wing, introduced her to Alexander Payne and then encouraged her to audition for a little show called Grey’s Anatomy.

Needless to say, she is grateful for the way I shaped her career.

Sandra was super stressed as we caught up, busy perfecting the final Globes script with my boy Andy Samberg and getting set for their moment in the sun. Given two of my friends are co-hosting, it goes without saying I haven’t been this proud since the Tina and Amy years.

Given how busy she is, I didn’t want to waste to much of her time so we quickly sat down to run the final odds of the season. Obviously she downplayed her chances for Best Actress in Drama, predicting it is Julia’s to lose – I know Sandy is winning though – while we both agreed that Matthew Rhys will take Best Actor, Penelope Cruz will take Best Supporting Actress and Pose will snatch Best Drama.

With that, I now hand things over to the globes while Sand and I sit in her dressing room preparing for the final show and smashing some Sandra Dohnuts.

 

 

Pillowy dough covered in sticky, sweet ganache and a healthy layer of sprinkles? They may not be classy, but damn are they perfect.

Enjoy!

 

 

Sandra Dohnuts
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
100g butter
¼ cup raw caster sugar
3 eggs
1 cup milk, plus 2 tbsp for the glaze
½ tsp vanilla extract, plus 2 tsp for the glaze
3 ¼ cups plain flour
4 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
150g icing sugar
4 tbsp cocoa powder
½ cup sprinkles

Method
Preheat the oven to 160°C.

In a large bowl of an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar together until light, pale and fluffy. With the mixer still on, add the eggs, one at a time allowing to mix after each addition, and the milk and vanilla, mixing until combined. Still mixing, add in the baking powder and salt until just combined – it may look a bit curdled, but relax.

Remove from the mixture and fold in the flour until just combined, making sure not to overmix.

Transfer batter into a piping bag and pipe into a doughnut pan. If you don’t have a pan you can try and pipe them into circles – they may not look perfect, but they’ll taste it!  Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until golden and fluffy.

Remove the doughnuts from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool. Repeat the process until the batter is done.

While they’re all chilling, sift together the sugar and cocoa powder in a medium bowl and slowly stir in the milk and vanilla until a smooth, pourable glaze forms. Pour over the chilled donuts and sprinkle, with the sprinkles.

Leave to set, then devour.

 

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Nutellyrsa Eclairres

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Jabeni were riding high on their egg reward however tragically the protein wasn’t enough to get them immunity, sending them to tribal council. While that appeared to mean certain doom for Lyrsa and Nick, Natalie continued to grate on her tribemates. She then attempted to bully Lyrsa or Nick into giving up their jackets for a cold Angelina to secure themselves safety, which backfired as they all joined together to blindside her while Angelina desperately begged her for her jacket.

Natalie. Natalie. Natalie ..?

The next day Jabeni were feeling positive without Natalie’s negativity to bring them down, while Lyrsa was just shocked to still be there. Angelina apologised for writing Lyrsa, explaining it was all a ploy for the jacket which did not sit well with Lyrsa. They lay around bonding, laughing and reminiscing about Natalie epically ignoring Angelina. Speaking of whom, Mike, Nick and Lyrsa got together to talk smack about Angelina’s desperation at tribal, with them all agreeing that they do not trust her and that she is the next to go. If it gets to that.

Over at Tiva the nerdmance continued to be adorable as Christian explained fishing and Gabby was sweet. Suck it haters who are done with her crying. Wouldn’t you cry if you had to live through multiple cyclones? Anyway, Christian wasn’t successful but he did lure John to the shore and I am moister than an oyster.

Speaking of flooding my basement, Jeff arrived for this week’s reward challenge where the tribes would have a bag of coconuts tethered to one tribe member with the remaining members forced to lug it about as they go through an obstacle course, release four rings and then land their rings on a long, hard pole. Given it was for cooking utensils, spices and kebabs, everyone was salivating and ready to dominate. Alec and Gabby got Vuku and Tiva out to an early lead, as Alec’s junk bounced everywhere. Sadly Alec’s BDE wasn’t enough to land the rings allowing John and Dan to snatch the win for Tiva while Nick snatched second for Jabeni. But they get to look at Alec so everyone got some meat, you know?

Tiva returned to camp to celebrate their victory and cook up their kebabs, and most importantly, the brochachos were feeding each other by hand and I love it. Christian, John and Dan are the throuple we deserve, the latter’s pining for Kara be damned. Gabby and Alison however started to notice that the throuple hooking up was bad for them, so the girls got together and pledged their allegiance to each other. Gabby then started to break down, leading to Alison tearing up and damn I need this tribe to all make the merge. So they can stay dating, obvi.

Though Alison’s plan to blindside Dan is definitely something I can get behind, given a blindside of someone with two idols is always fun.

Meanwhile over at Vuku Kara and Elizabeth seemed to be getting closer again, with Kara trying to massage her back which she injured four weeks before heading out to the island. They then started splitting the bamboo in the shelter in an attempt to make things more comfortable, which Davie and Carl felt was a bad idea given it would be dark soon and the shelter would be uneven. This annoyed Elizabeth, who felt that they were being unfair and she can’t take it anymore, while the boys were frustrated that she was doing it while everyone else was trying to relax. The only person thrilled by the turn of events seemed to be Kara, who knew that should they lose the upcoming immunity challenge, Elizabeth is the most likely target.

Speaking of which, Jeff returned for said challenge where the tribes were required to carry a large heavy saucer to a water tower, fill it with water, carry it through obstacles, pour water into a well, release puzzle pieces and, wait for it, solve said puzzle. Vuku and Tiva got out to an early lead, until Vuku lost most of their water, followed by Jabeni, leaving Tiva to storm ahead. Tiva made quick work of the puzzle, followed by Vuku handing them both immunity before Jabeni even released their puzzle pieces. TBH, it wasn’t easy to watch. Particularly when they dropped their saucer on the third attempt and opted to give up.

Back at camp Mike was feeling emotional about crushing someone’s dreams at the upcoming tribal council. Given there are 7 people left from each of the original tribes and he was anticipating a merge, Mike was growing concerned that he will need to turn on Nick and Lyrsa to save himself moving forward. While Angelina was hoping to work with Lyrsa, the latter still didn’t trust Angelina after jacketgate and as such, Angelina was stuck working with Mike. Angelina approached Mike and locked in the vote for Mike and agreed that they need to get Nick on board. Lyrsa and Mike got together to talk about getting rid of Angelina, with Mike open to the idea while Nick was being worked Angelina to turn on Lyrsa. Rounding out the pairings, Nick and Mike approached each other to decide which way they will go giving Angelina is a bigger threat … but Mike is scared about taking her out and screwing over all of the Goliaths.

At tribal council Nick spoke about how tight the tribe has gotten in such a small time, Mike spoke about loving everyone but being concerned about navigating the next part of the game. Lyrsa agreed that trust and loyalty were the key factors in her decision tonight, while Angelina added strategy which is pretty much a given, no? And kinda just paints a target on her back. Angelina channelled Keith and spoke about sticking to the plan, Lyrsa mentioned everyone has a plan and Nick pledged his loyalty to Jabeni rather than the OG tribes. Angelina then jumped in to sing Nick’s praises which seemed a bit desperate. Thankfully Lyrsa called her out for trying to buy his vote, while Mike reiterated that tonight’s vote will dictate the remainder of the game. With that the tribe voted and it seemed Mike chose to set the game up for the Goliaths – maybe – by taking out Lyrsa and sending her to the jury.

While Lyrsa – the bright, sparkling gem that she is – took her boot in her stride, she wasn’t hella salty about the fact she would be vacationing with Natalie and then has to suffer through sitting next to her at the reunion special. And while I love Natalie with all my heart, I also loved Lyrsa so I let her talk smack about my friend before trying to sweeten the deal with a couple of big fat Nutellyrsa Eclairres.

 

 

Eclairs are perfect. Nutella too, is perfect. So therefore it should go without saying that Nutella flavoured eclairs are perfect, however I do have that theory that two hot people can have a really ugly baby? In any event, this is delicious. Like the random hot child born of two classically unattractive peeps. Though this isn’t random, since eclairs and nutella. I’ll stop talking.

Enjoy!

 

 

Nutellyrsa Eclairres
Serves: 1 salty boot, or 12 happy peeps.

Ingredients
1 batch Eclair Danes, including crème pâtissière but not the chocolate glaze
1 cup nutella
½ cup roasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Prep the eclairs as per Claire’s recipe, up to filling the pastry but before you glaze.

Once that is done, fill a piping bag with nutella and chill for half an hour or so.

Pipe on to the top of the eclairs, sprinkle with hazelnuts and devour. Knowing that cutting out the difficult part of the recipe on this page lulled you into a false sense of security.

 

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