Red Onion

Thaison Beef Salapostol

Main, Salad, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Parvati and Danni found an advantage on the Edge and while they planned to keep their riches secret, were caught and had to share it with their fellow old schoolers. Aka everyone but Yul and Wendell, given they hadn’t been suffering as long. After the immunity challenge, the tribe returned to camp where things immediately descended into chaos. In the span of 30 seconds of screen time literally everyone’s name was thrown out except for Kim and that was only because she had immunity. The chaos continued at tribal council where everyone was whispering during deliberations, which made Adam so nervous he tried to play Probst’s podium as a hidden immunity idol. And given it clearly wasn’t one, he was swiftly sent to the Edge when the votes piled up on him.

Forgoing any interlude, Probst appeared to welcome the remaining contestants for the reward challenge featuring a little bit of love. Yes my friends, it is time for the loved ones visit! We first met Kim’s husband and three kids, and instantly everyone dissolved into a puddle of tears knowing that they too will soon see their entire families. And the fact that Kim’s adorable kids were too shy to walk around the corner to see her. Ben’s wife and kids were next, cute but not as cute as Kim’s family. Though Ben did give a really nice speech about how grateful he is to Survivor. Sophie and her husband are couple goals, Sarah’s partner and son were super cute – and hot damn, she is tough to have played Game Changers while her son was so little – and then Denise’s husband and daughter arrived and they are just so cute. Adopt Malcolm and they are officially my favourite family.

Nick and his fiance are adorkable and I live for them, and then Tony broke down at the sight of his wife and young kids and honestly, that is where I lost it. So pure, so gentle, I love him and well, he can be the King to Sandra’s Queen. Poor Michele joined the one-visitor club as her sister was wheeled out and while it isn’t as emotional as the entire family, you know they’d love to party. Tyson’s wife and former contestant Rachel arrived with one of his daughters and honestly, they are too pure for this world. And hot damn, how is this his first ever family visit? Rounding out the group, Val brought out all of her and Jeremy’s homemade idols to visit their dad – two of which were born after Val’s two idol season in San Juan del Sur. Coincidence, I think not.

After a little psych out about forcing the contestant’s kids into slave labour, Probst announced that for the first time in Survivor history there would be no actual challenge and instead everyone would be going back to camp so that they could all feast with their families. Seeing Tyson, Sarah and Ben goofing around with their kids was literally the best thing I have seen on Survivor. Well, except for this …

Meanwhile at the Edge of Extinction everyone noticed a boat full of people approaching and worried about what they could be in for. Then Natalie spotted Nadiya and lost it, screaming to the tribe as she ran to shore to hug her twinnie and the cutest baby I have ever seen. Everyone started sobbing at the mere sight of their families, but honestly Rob and Amber’s kids and Parvati and Samoa John’s baby were the standouts – I mean, the mini-Marianos are adorbs. Wait, now Adam is sobbing to his dad who couldn’t come out last time because his wife was battling cancer, Yul’s family are perfect, Ethan and his wife are sweet, Danni and her kids are cute. I love it all. Even Ethan and Parvati making out with their partners. As they said goodbye to their families, Natalie well and truly had a fire in her belly to be strong like her baby niece and slay the next challenge.

With all the love out of the way, my love Jeffrey returned to get the game back on track with the next immunity challenge. And let’s just focus on how iconic Kim is for not doing the annoying “I’m not giving it back, Jeff” schtick, okay? Anyway, the challenge requires them each to hold on to a rope to balance a tray and then walk towards it with blocks to spell out immunity. So you know Ben will suck, given he failed at spelling on Triple H. Kim, Tony, Tyson, Nick and Jeremy got out to an early lead until the latter’s risky play made him drop his first five letters. Kim was the next to drop, handing Tony and Tyson the lead. Until Tyson dropped, followed by Nick and Jeremy – again – making it now a race between Tony and a surging Ben. Thankfully Tony maintained his lead and avoided a disaster – while Ben dropped – handing him his first ever individual immunity challenge victory. And two fire tokens.

Back at camp Tony was thrilled to finally take out victory, though shocked that it was a slow and steady style challenge, which is far from his forte. Knowing immunity gives him power, Tony waited until Jeremy approached him and suggested that they split up Sarah and Sophie who had grown to be very tight. Sarah then approached him and suggested getting rid of Kim given she is charming and has everyone in her back pocket. Tony however disagreed and suggested Tyson instead, given Kim could be dealt with later. They then squabbled like a married couple and honestly, I love their chaotic energy. Tony approached Ben and Nick about potentially blindsiding Jeremy, given his game isn’t in sync with his. Meanwhile Jeremy was chatting to Kim and Tyson, suggesting that they band together with Denise and Michele to take control of the game. Kim then shared intel about her idol and vowed to use it to protect themselves and get rid of Sophie, wanting to go out taking a swing rather than not bothering.

Meanwhile Sarah caught up with Ben and Nick, and was shocked to learn that they would now be targeting Jeremy instead. And while Sarah wasn’t on board with the idea, she came around when Tony shared that they were voting for him because he tried to target her. Tyson and Jeremy caught up again, with Jeremy filling him in on his exit tribal council power though Tyson reminded him that that screws their alliance out of a vote and guarantees their plan fails, which appeared to be enough to trigger Jeremy’s firefighting, all-in-this-together spirit. Emphasis on appeared. Oh and on their way out to tribal, Sophie pulled Sarah aside and suggested she play the steal a vote to guarantee their safety and hot damn, this could get messy!

At tribal council Nick spoke about the fact the game had finally kicked into gear as whispering already commenced. Jeremy spoke about how chaotic everything was as everyone else joined the whispering, with Tony thrilled that he finally had immunity. Kim spoke about paranoia kicking off the whispering, Jeremy said that it was crazier than Second Chances and then as such, when Jeff said that they should head out to vote both Jeremy and Sarah tried to put a stop to it. Neither wanted to go first, so sat back down leading to Jeff sending them to vote before they both called out his name again. Sick of Sarah playing coy, Jeremy took his chance, got up and played his advantage to exit tribal council immediately. This left Tyson, Kim and Denise to hang their heads, immediately kicking off the whispering again. Sick of it, Sophie decided to put a stop to it and called her allies away to pick a target, while the other four nervously tried to formulate a plan.

With everyone locked in, Sarah put a stop to the proceedings again and opted to use her advantage and steal Denise’s vote. Finally, the tribe – minus Denise – headed out to vote, Kim decided to play her idol for Denise, which sadly only negated two votes against her, as the rest piled up on Tyson, sending him back to the Edge of Extinction. This time, he called out my name asking for his latest little snackie to help him settle back into hell. I hug him and told him how heartbroken I was that he never really got to find his footing this season, until he yeah yeah food-ed me, until I handed over Thaison Beef Salapostol and returned that fire to his belly.

As I often remind you, I normally follow Marge Simpson’s belief that you don’t make friends with salad, but this is another one that bucks that trend. Spicy, sweet and warm, it is honestly perfect. I mean, it is almost hearty?!

Enjoy!

Thaison Beef Salapostol
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 birds eye chilli
2 garlic cloves
two handfuls of coriander, plus extra for garnishing
1 tbsp caster sugar
¼ cup fish sauce
2 limes, zested and juiced
2 tbsp vegetable oil, plus extra for frying
salt and pepper, to taste
500g beef sirloin, at room temperature
4 cups mixed lettuce leaves
handful of mint leaves, plus extra to garnish
1 cup cherry tomatoes, quartered
½ small red onion, thinly sliced
½ cup roasted peanuts, roughly chopped

Method
Pop the birds eye, garlic, half of the coriander, caster sugar, fish sauce, lime zest and juice, and vegetable oil in a food processor with a pinch of salt and blitz until almost smooth and combined. Cover and leave to rest.

Place a skillet over high heat and once scorching hot, rub a little bit of oil on the steaks and sprinkle with some salt and pepper. Add to the skillet and cook for a couple of minutes, before flipping and cooking for another minute (depending on the thickness of your steak). The goal is to cook the steaks to a medium rare. Remove from the skillet to a plate, tent in some foil and leave to rest for 10 minutes.

Pop the lettuce and mint in a bowl with the remaining coriander and toss through a couple of tablespoons of the dressing. You want them dressed, but not wet. Thinly slice the beef against the grain and combine in another bowl with the tomatoes, red onion, peanuts and remaining dressing. To serve, layer the dressed leaves on the bottle of your plate, top with the beef mixture and a sprinkle of extra herbs. And then devour, like an icon.


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Couscous Crystalad

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 1, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens participated in the inaugural UK Snatch Game, with politics taking the focus as The Vivienne and Baga Chips stole the show as Donald Trump and Maggie Thatch. While Sum Ting and Crystal bombed as icons David Attenborough and my dear Rue McClanahan before the former was sent from the competition. Much to the pain of one Ms. Geri bloody Halliwell.

Back in the Werk Room Cheryl was sad to lose her friend, though felt that Sum Ting’s time had well and truly come. Crystal meanwhile was heartbroken that she had to beat sweet Sum Ting to stay, though was glad to be able to prove herself in a lip sync. The queens started to untuck and congratulated Baga and Viv on their win, despite Cheryl and Blu questioning whether it was worthy of a double victory. Though sadly neither were willing to say who they thought should have had it by themselves. Crystal brought it back to Divina and asked her who she felt talks over her all the time, with Divina telling Baga and The Vivienne that they keep talking over everyone and she feels like they are trying to throw everyone off their game.

The next day Cheryl was excited for another week of mediocrity, while Baga and The Vivienne tweaked their double badge nipples. Talk turned to Cheryl’s passion for bottoming, before Ru arrived to open the library and task the girls to read each other for filth. Baga kicked things off by accusing Cheryl of using the Eiffel Tower as a dildo and Blu being the prostitute love child of Casper and The Milky Bar Kid. Divina got revenge on Baga and The Vivienne for being trash, Cheryl called Divina a horse, The Vivienne called Crystal vapid, Crystal slayed with poo jokes – The Vivienne proving you can polish a turd – and sweet Blu called out Cheryl’s overbite and backrolls like her hero Alyssa Edwards, and still slayed, despite breaking a prop covering Baga’s face. Ultimately though, it was Crystal’s scat play that took out victory.

Before Ru departed, he announced that this week’s Maxi Challenge would see the girls split into two girl groups to record their debut and farewell track Break Up (Bye Bye) under the tutelage of MNEK. As she won the Mini Challenge, Crystal was given the chance to select her team, snatching The Vivienne and girl group superfan Cheryl. The teams split up and Cheryl was thrilled to be forming a girl group, while The Vivienne was looking forward to working with Cheryl and getting to know her better. Cheryl meanwhile was super confident, given her major moneymaker was in a Girl’s Aloud covershow. Over at the other side Baga was nervous about working without The Vivenne, though looked forward to throwing herself in with her fellow Frock Destroyers. And they vowed to destroy their competition, Filth Harmony.

Each team started to write their songs, with The Vivienne nervous as she is the only one that can sing on her team. While the Frock Destroyers gossiped about their rivals and how badly Crystal will be overshadowed on her team.

Filth Harmony arrived to record their song, with MNEK proud of how well The Vivienne sang though were very concerned about her lack of spelling ability. Cheryl was totally in her element as the personification of the ba-ba-ba-baaaooooouu noise, which is beloved by Pitbull. Cheryl then did some ad libs for inclusion throughout the song and honestly, she alone should make the other team nervous. Well, until I heard Crystal’s singing, which got some awkward silence from MNEK. Cheryl though was living, calling herself the Beyonce of the team. Which is honestly true.

The Frock Destroyers owned their recording from the moment they arrived dressed in matching turbans. Baga then showed off some impressive pipes, Blu surprised herself with how strongly she sang and then impressed me with her smut. And Divina, well, she fucking can do whistle tones and holy shit, give her the damn badge right now. Sorry Filth Harmony, you’re fucked.

Speaking of Filth Harmony, Cheryl was hard at work on the choreography and had no interest in taking any feedback. And honestly, I am team Cheryl on this one, as she is carrying them this challenge. When it came to the Frock Destroyers, Divina was less of a choreog-tator and made sure everyone was comfortable with their moves and could nail everything. Back in the Werk Room both teams tried to get in the other’s head, though the Frock Destroyers confidence seemed far less misplaced than the other team.

Elimination Day rolled around and Cheryl was still thrilled by the challenge before Crystal brought the mood down and asked how school was for everyone. Blu and Crystal said that it sucked, despite not being outright bullied. Divina spoke about all her insecurities coming from her formative school years. She then taught us about Maggie Thatcher’s abhorrent law which made it illegal to ‘promote homosexuality’, meaning teachers couldn’t step in and as such, erased the queer community. To warm our heart though, she broke down telling a story of how her own students cussed out a girl in his class that called her a faggot, knowing it meant life was better for future queer kids. She then reiterated that idiot’s beliefs are just that, but their lives are reality and they are all worth it.

And just crown Divina now, because I love her.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by Little Mix’s Jade Thirwall, as Filth Harmony made their farewell debut and while The Vivienne started out strong, she faded fast. On the flipside Cheryl was living her best life, nailing every syllable and keeping the judges in hysterics. And while Crystal was good, it was clear that Cheryl owned this performance. Then Frock Destroyers happened, coming out in matching outfits to the opening bars of Divina’s whistle tones. And they owned the week. Baga quoted herself to the delight of Michelle, Blu gave her best performance yet and Divina, as previously mentioned, is a global treasure and has more talent in her pinky toenail than we could ever dream of having.

On the Day at the Races runway The Vivenne slayed as Alexis Carrington and Pretty Woman’s love child, Cheryl stuck with her Essex roots and I loved it, while Crystal was the best of the group in a skin tight floral outfit from toe to gimp mask. Baga was quintessential Baga with a ball of flowers for hair, Blu was stunning with a horse head for hair and Divina stole the show as the sexiest jockey with a horsetail pony.

The judges felt The Vivienne stumbled for the first time, with that cracking her armour and allowing her to show some heart. Cheryl broke down before the judges even told her how much they loved her in the challenge, explaining that this is the first time she has felt like herself in the competition and was thrilled to do well. Despite Michelle hating her outfit. Crystal received universal praise for her runway despite it not nailing the brief, though they all felt she faded away in the performance. Once again Baga received universal praise, though was happy to share it around and lift up her teammates and let Blu take full responsibility for the killer band name and attitude. Baga broke down because of how great the praise was, feeling like she isn’t the front runner. Blu too received universal praise and the judges were thrilled to see her finally arrive at the competition. And then Divina got the most glowing praise of all, with the judges loving everything about her. Though Michelle was concerned about her ashy make-up.

Backstage The Vivienne and Crystal looked like they’ve come back from war, with Vivienne breaking down and showing her human side finally. Blu tried to remind her about everything she has achieved in the competition, while Cheryl assumed they would put her in the bottom just because of her runway. She then asked Crystal how she was feeling … and then spoke about her passion for girl groups and again, I love Cheryl. And her inability to read a room. Divina steered things back to Crystal and gave her the chance to work through her feelings, while The Vivienne brokedown, gave them a farewell message and pulled everyone in for a friends forever hug.

The girls returned to the mainstage where for the first time in Drag Race herstory, the Frock Destroyers were given a three-way victory. Which honestly just feels right. Cheryl was congratulated for owning her performance and was sent to safety, leaving The Vivienne and Crystal to battle it out lip syncing to Power by Little Mix. Despite fading away during their earlier performance, there was nothing holding The Vivienne back, hitting every letter and owning the entire stage. And that is no shade to Crystal, who also slayed the lip sync. But there was no way that The Vivienne was willing to go home and that passion and fire showed. As such poor Crystal was eliminated and The Vivienne lived to fight another day. And I pity anyone that has to lip sync against her in the future.

Crystal being Crystal she was bummed to leave the competition but took it all in her stride, simply grateful to be given the opportunity to show off her talents. As you probably could have guessed from my thirst, I first met Crystal while stalking her. I saw her in the street one day and was overwhelmed by her beauty, immediately enrolling in the same course at University and trying to endear myself to her. While it failed, we did become the best of friends and as such, I knew that the only way to cheer her up would be with a Cous Cous Crystalad.

I know you don’t make friends with salad, we all know that, but somehow this one manages to defy the odds. Fluffy cous cous, sweet sundried tomato and creamy feta join together to wipe away the post boot pain.

Enjoy!

Couscous Crystalad
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cups vegetable stock
1 ¼ cups couscous
2 garlic cloves, minced
400g can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
½ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
1 red onion, diced
½ cup sundried tomatoes, cut into strips
½ cup baby spinach, roughly chopped
1 cup broccoli florets
2 lemons, zested and juiced
2 tbsp olive oil
½ cup feta, crumbled
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring the vegetable stock to the boil and pour into a bowl with the couscous. Stir and cover with cling wrap and leave to cook for five minutes.

Fluff couscous with a fork and leave to cool.

Add everything else to the bowl, stir to combine and devour.


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Sosatie-Anne van Renen

Main, Party Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, Tapas, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa wait, no, I’ve only dreamt about being alone in a tropical fantasy with Nico. We haven’t done this before. Deep in the South Pacific, Nico was was looking bae as he was about to dump 21 new castaways on the islands of Samoa. First up we met the Sa’ula tribe’s Nathan who was also a total babe and who was totally keen to play into his banging looks and pretend to be a dumb jock. Which I am here for if he is in on the joke, and preferably, is wearing a legit jock. On the Laumei tribe, typical first boot bait Laetitia was concerned about being an early target due to her age. Congratulations Laetitia, you’re immediately my favourite. Meanwhile the Ta’alo tribe was home to Jacques the superfan, who had a man bun but did not appear to be a total douche, making me wonder, maybe I actually can pull off a man bun if I can commit beyond the Rizzo phase my hair will go through?

Jacques’ tribemate Felix wasn’t feeling confident in their collective physicality and was concerned about their challenge prowess, despite them having a guy who’s guns and thighs were so built I would happily suffocate under them. Sorry, this is too much … but damn they have cast some banging men. On the flipside Geoffrey could see that the cast was stacked, but hoped to be able to navigate through them all given they look like the have throbbing … egos. Beauty Queen Nicole was clean to shed off the shine and get dirty, while Lee-Anne was confident her pageant past will help out her social game, Mike was interested to see just how rugged he will become, Steffi looked forward to winning and Rob was fearful about his passion to trust way too easily.

Oh and did I mention there is now an Island of Secrets which sounds like Ghost Island and New Zealand’s The Outpost had a child?

Finally the tribes arrived on shore to meet Nico where Ting Ting immediately won my heart by putting everyone into their stereotypical boxes of hotties and notties. Rob was feeling confident in Sa’ula’s prospects given they’re all built, which immediately makes me fear for their chances while Cobus was confident he will be able to dominate his tribe despite diplomatically saying how much he loves them all on site. Durao was happy to be on a tribe with the hulk, aka Rocco who was concerned that given he is so built he will be targeted as soon as the merge hits. And Laetitia was channelling Lisa, thrilled to tick off an item on the bucket list and with a full heart for the people sharing the mat with her. She is an icon and I stan her. Paul too was thrilled to be on a tribe with buff dudes, though was concerned that his age might put his on the outside straight away.

Not wasting any time, Nico asked each tribe to select a leader prior to the first reward challenge, with Paul, Rocco and Cobus immediately identified. Being a messy bitch, Nico then asked the three thrown under the bus upon taking the leadership mantle to identify their tribe’s weakest member with Paul giving Sa’ula’s title to Seipei, Rocco branding Laumei’s as Laetitia – because she’ll take the least offence – and Cobus giving the mantle to Jacques on Ta’alo. Nico then complicated things further by sending the leaders off to the Island of Secrets for the first day, while the weakest members were given the hero roll in the reward challenge, guiding their blindfolded tribemates to a bounty of supplies.

Given that he isn’t an idiot, Jacques noticed that there was a single item at the end of the course and realised it must be an advantage so sent Felix and Ting Ting to fetch it for him while everyone else focused on supplies. Given everyone is winners and losers, I will just focus on the fact that their weren’t really enough crotch smacks on the obstacles.

We quickly checked in with the zaddies of the Island of Secrets where they discovered a note which informed them to find a coloured station for each tribe offering them with a choice between flint or a clue to the hidden immunity idol back at camp. Rocco opted for the flint, while Cobus and Paul decided it was more important to focus on their own safety and went for the clue. Wait, no, Paul planned to find a tribe idol which you know is going to end terribly. After Paul stripped down, Rocco searched through his pants to read the clue giving him both rewards and damn, I love him.

Over at Ta’alo Ting Ting was thrilled to be playing the game, while Jacques wanted to do introductions. Tania though had no interest, desperate to get some water instead. We also but a name to the fine face that is Dante, who loves the ocean as much as I love the site of him. Meanwhile back at the well Tania was fast becoming my favourite, berating Jacques for getting married before 30 and then awkwardly hung around as Meryl casually dropped the fact she got married at 22. Oh and she is a proud rock climber slash stoner, and is the self-appointed strongest woman in the game. And yes, she is my favourite. Jacques quickly disappeared to learn that his advantage turned out to an extra vote that was only valid for the first tribal council after the merge.

We dropped by Sa’ula where they were all introducing themselves and Seipei was proving to be the icon of the tribe, explaining the pronunciation of her name as see it, you pay for it. Sadly her confidence was starting to wear on her tribemates as she directed them in building their shelter. While she and Lee-Anne were lugging supplies around, Nathan, Rob, Nicole and Steffi used the opportunity to form a tight alliance. We then learnt that Lea-Anne and Nicole had prior beef with each other as Nicole beat Lee-Anne in the Mrs South Africa pageant two years ago, and that she was out for blood now that she is the current reigning. Nicole wasn’t feeling as badly though, given that she was a winner. Oh and Steffi too is a beauty queen too. Lee-Anne and Seipei watched the four bond and despite the fact it should worry her, Lee-Anne wasn’t concerned about their obvious closeness on day one.

Finally we ventured over to Laumei where the tribe appeared to be getting on quite well, celebrating their wins and laughing about the absurdity of camp life. Geoffrey and Laetitia went to get water for the tribe, with the iconic Laetitia quickly checking for an idol without him noticing.

Back at Ta’alo Tania proved to be South Africa’s Debbie, working on fire and quickly annoying Felix, Ting Ting and Jacques giving that she doesn’t actually deliver on her promises. That night she continued to list an elaborate resume and background, including a bank-robber father. The next day Tania was confident about her mature brain, pulling the girls in to form an alliance as she has no interest in vote out women as she needs to further womankind. lInstantly Tania reneged on that deal, pulling Ting Ting aside to point out Meryl as their weakest and potentially icing her out and going with the strong boys that Tania is confident will want to align with her. Which obviously made Ting Ting nervous as you literally can’t predict what she will do. Before we could learn anything further, Cobus arrived to the delight of his tribe – until they discovered he didn’t come bearing a flint – as he covered the fact he took an advantage. Sensing a psychic link, Tania pulled Cobus aside to assure him that they will be allies if he can pull in Dante. And giving Dante is wearing speedos, I really need to pull … well, you know. Despite Tania’s intensity being a boner killer for Cobus and Dante. But those read jocks? No boners killed here.

Paul returned to Sa’ula and immediately shared the clue for the hidden immunity idol and suggested it be used to further their tribe when needed. Which Seipei loved, given it shows he isn’t the most cut-throat competitor. Rob, Nicole and Nathan pulled Paul aside to assure him that he is part of their alliance with Steffi. The tribe were busy hunting for the idol, with Lee-Anne feeling insecure as Nicole ultimately snatched the idol. The alliance of four and Paul were thrilled to have discovered the idol, however were annoyed that Lee-Anne was around and they couldn’t keep it a secret. They then handed it over to Paul for safe keeping, which is quite possibly the worst decision. But whatevs.

Rocco arrived at the Laumei tribe and immediately threw Cobus and Paul under the bus, pulling out his rock-hard flint and letting everyone know that the others selected a clue to the hidden immunity idol. Rocco continued to be swoon worthy, saying he loves Laetitia because that is his mum’s name and then asked everyone what they’d like him to help out with. He then followed Mike and Durao to collect supplies and float the idea of an all male alliance before sharing the  clue to the hidden immunity idol with him, which immediately makes me question him. Just like Mike, who knows all male alliances suck. Rocco then approached Geoffrey who was more keen on an alliance, not caring who the other members are as long as they’re in the majority. Mike and Geoffrey then caught up in the ocean, with Mike airing his concerns about aligning with Rocco since her wants a four with Rose, Mmaba and Geoffrey given it has the potential to be more stable. Sadly Geoffrey feels left right out in Mike’s alliance and would prefer to be with Rocco, which TBH is totally my vibe too.

Nico finally returned for the first immunity challenge of the season where the tribes would start by disassembling a puzzle on a pontoon in the ocean and bringing the pieces to shore over obstacles, including a fuck-off-tall a-frame, before solving the puzzle on the beach. More importantly Dante was wearing speedos, so he is currently my favourite. Laumei got out to an early lead, with Ta’alo close behind while the physically stacked Sa’ula bringing up the rear. Ta’alo arrived to build the puzzle well ahead of the other tribes, while poor Laetitia struggled to cross the balance beam, sending Laumei into last place. Eventually all three tribes arrived at the puzzle stations, while Nathan appeared to have injured his ankle. The puzzle proved extremely difficult, as the tribes continued to work for over an hour and a half before Ta’alo finally put us out of our misery and took out the first immunity before Durao secured the second one for Laumei, sending the stacked Sa’ula to the first tribal council of the season.

Rob carried an injured Nathan back into camp, assuring him that he is not going to be targeted and he is still not the weakest person on the tribe. The tribe then handed off the idol to Nathan as a sign of good faith, filling Seipei with dread given she and Lee-Anne are clearly on the outs. She approached Nathan to assure him that she wants to stay in the game and will do what it takes. Steffi and Lee-Anne caught up by the well, with the latter throwing Seipei under the bus and suggesting Nathan as an option because of his injury. Lee-Anne then mentioned that she wanted to go to the final three with Steffi and Nicole given their shared pageant history, though Steffi questioned her as to why it took her until day three to actually talk to her and damn, Steffi is good. Real good. We then learnt that Paul was doing some teenager cosplay as he caught up with Nicole and Rob to debate the merits of keeping Lee-Anne or Seipei, with Nicole scared that she can’t trust her. Lee-Anne approached them to explain why she hasn’t spoken to them, as she was busy babysitting Seipei the first few days. Steffi broke things up and pulled Nicole, Rob and Paul to talk to Seipei about why they should target Lee-Anne rather than balls terrible attempt at modern streetwear. While Steffi didn’t like Seipei’s bossy, chatty approach, Nicole still wasn’t sure whether she could trust Lee-Anne. Lee-Anne was laying it on thick, breaking down talking about how much she looks up to her and that she will be loyal to the end. Which Nicole agreed with, neglecting to mention the ‘loyal to the end’ part.

At tribal council Nicole was quick to point out how much the bonds are already meaning to her, while Steffi pointed out that Lee-Anne has been struggling to bond with people which made her feel nervous. Lee-Anne sold it as adapting to her current situation, while Steffi, Rob and Nathan started whispering to each other about turning on Lee-Anne as she spoke about her struggles. Nico called out Nathan, who defended himself by saying it is just such a difficult decision. The whispering continued as Seipei spoke about the importance of diversifying their options, Rob admitted to being confused about the vote given everything has changed by the whispering.

Lee-Anne wanted to know what she did wrong, Steffi felt everyone needs to fight for their life at tribal and stay strong to avoid coming back, Nicole and Nathan admitted to being confused about the vote ahead before Nico opened the floor for everyone to discuss who to take out. Steffi laughed as no one spoke up, Seipei pointed out that she wanted to have these discussions back at camp before Nathan assured everyone that his vote hasn’t changed. Lee-Anne tried to convince everyone that she should stay as she lifts everyone up and wants to get to know everyone before Rob cut her off and just requested to vote. And vote they did. For Lee-Anne, who was heartbroken to find herself becoming the first boot.

While Lee-Anne was gutted to become the first boot, she was thrilled to hold the distinction of being the first South African castaway to join the party that is this here patch of cyberspace. Conveniently she is also a dear friend of mine, after we met on the pageant circuit. She hired me to coach her after her first Mrs. South Africa competition and under my tutelage, she finally snagged the crown. In no small part thanks to a diet of solely Sosatie-Anne van Renen.

 

 

Did I mention that this season is full of South African delicacies? Well it is. And thanks to this sweet number, I am well on my way to becoming a fan of the cuisine. Rich, tasty lamb, sweet apricots and a kick of spice are the perfect way to welcome Survivor SA to the fam.

Enjoy!

 

 

Sosatie-Anne van Renen
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup apricot jam
¼ cup champagne vinegar
1 lime, juiced and zested with extra wedges to serve
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp ginger, minced
2 tsp ground coriander
4 whole cloves
1 tsp ground chilli
½ tsp ground allspice
½ tsp ground cumin
salt and pepper, to taste
1kg lamb, cut into 2.5cm cubes
24 dried apricots
2 red onions, cut into thin wedges
mint sprigs, to serve

Method
Combine the jam, vinegar, lime zest and juice, garlic, ginger, coriander, cloves, chilli, allspice, cumin and salt and pepper in a large bowl. Toss through the lamb and transfer to the fridge to marinate for 3 hours.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Once almost ready to assemble, place the apricots in boiling water to plump up for half an hour and then drain completely.

Now to assemble, thread the lamb on a skewer, followed by apricots and onions, alternating until the skewer is full. Transfer to a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until done. Place the skewers in the oven and bake for half an hour, brushing with marinade every five minutes or so, and cook until golden and glorious.

Devour with a good squeeze of lime and some mint leaves.

 

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Linda Perry Peri Chicken Pizza

Main, Pizza, Poultry, Street Food

What a difference a few days can make, right? After witnessing Glenn’s seventh and Amy’s sixth snubs – no matter how deserving the delightful Olivia and Regina are, it still stung – I started to rage about all the things this Oscars failed me on like Shallow muse Timothée Chalamet and my girls Dolly and Linda Perry getting snubbed.

By the time Linda arrived at my house I was in such a state, alternating between crying and screaming, that she had to pull me into her arms and hold me until I calmed down.

And thanks to her warm, loving friendship, I’ve been in a state of zen since.

I’ve known Linda for years and years, first meeting as teens in San Diego. Fun fact: she taught me that San Diego didn’t actually translate to mean whale’s vagina, which I passed on to Will Ferrell to use as a joke in Anchorman.

But anyway, she was always so patient and kind with me, despite my many foibles, so I jumped at the chance to move to San Francisco with her in the ‘80s and I of course, vowed to make her a star.

Given how insanely busy she has been recently, Linda and I haven’t spent as much time together as we would like, so it was wonderful to be able to just have time to reconnect. And smash a piping hot Linda Perry Peri Chicken Pizza.

 

 

A crunchy base, sweet tomatoes and the fiery spice of peri peri chicken work together to form the perfect pizza for warming up a surprisingly cold evening in Brisbane. FYI, it got down to 25°C.

Enjoy!

 

 

Linda Perry Peri Chicken Pizza
Serves: 2-6.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
olive oil
2 chicken breasts, diced
½ cup peri peri sauce
⅓ cup passata
oregano and basil, roughly chopped, to taste
1 red onion, thinly sliced
1 cup baby spinach
200g cherry tomatoes, halved
mozzarella, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions.

Heat a lug of olive oil in a skillet and cook the diced chicken for five minutes or so, or until cooked through. Add the peri peri – more if needed – and cook for a further couple of minutes, or until well coated.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Smear passata over the prepared bases, sprinkle of the herbs, onion, spinach, spicy chicken and cherry tomatoes, before blanketing – I mean, you don’t have to but who wouldn’t – in mozzarella.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden. Before devouring, thinking about how wrong it is that Lind and Doll still don’t have Oscars.

 

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Tostavo Santaolalla

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold, Street Food

Ok, ok – I know it feels like I’m stuck on a musical binge at the moment, after kicking off Call Me By Your Gold with Em and Reese on account of musicals, but Gustavo Santaolalla is an icon in his own right and I couldn’t go past with catching up with my dear friend to celebrate this year’s Oscars.

While I only met Gus close to fifteen years ago through my love Ang, our bond quickly grew as I inspired his exquisite score in Brokeback Mountain and made sure it captured the love and unbridled passion I held for Heath and Jake. And Mish.

Given it won him his first Oscar, I assume you agree that I am a gloriously stunning muse.

Gus being the delightful, sweet man that he is was totally shocked, humbled and honoured to get an invite to my annual Oscar Gold celebration. Even more so, as he got to help me lock in my bets for his sound brethren.

For Sound Editing, Gus believes I shouldn’t look past First Man, however I think A Quiet Place is a safe bet. For Sound Mixing, I am going with my boy Rami’s Bohemian Rhapsody while he thinks First Man will take that also. Given First Man didn’t even get a nom for Original Score, Gus is going with Isle of Dogs however I think If Beale Street Could Talk has it on lock. As does Gaga for Best Song which should just be given out straight away as it is the safest bet of the night.

That being said, Black Panther is the only nom that could act as a spoiler. Though it won’t.

TBH it was a pretty easy bunch of noms to discuss, but that didn’t stop us from getting down to sharing a platter of Tastavo Santaolalla. You know, to give us back our energy.

 

 

Hot and spicy, fresh and crunchy, tostadas are one of my favourite Mexican dishes. I mean, it is essentially a giant chip piled with a meaty-salady dip. When I put it that way, you find it pretty irresistible, no?

Enjoy!

 

 

Tostavo Santaolalla
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 red onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
500g beef mince
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp chilli powder
2 tsp cumin
½ tsp ground coriander
¼ tsp turmeric
400g refried beans
8 corn tostadas
cheddar cheese, sour cream, lettuce, hot sauce and coriander, to garnish

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a large skillet and sweat the onion and garlic for five minutes, or until soft, sweet and fragrant. Add the mince and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon until the mince is browned. Stir through the tomato paste and spices, and cook for a couple of minutes. Remove from the heat.

Meanwhile heat the beans in a small saucepan.

To assemble, smear the tostadas with the beans, top with the mince mixture and literally any combination of cheese, sour cream, lettuce, hot sauce and coriander that you desire.

Devour.

 

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Lady Gaugamole

Condiment, Dip, Grammy Gold, Grammy Gold: Somebody That I Used to Gold, Vegetarian

Despite the fact that she is slaying the award season game with her film debut, my dear friend Lady Gaga will always be the scrappy little recording artist that could. While I irrationally hated Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta from the first moment I saw her, I am so grateful that Tony Bennett was able to talk sense into me and allow the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

I mean, 100 of my fellow celebrities had told me that I would love Gaga’s sweet, creative soul but it took just one to get through to me and for that, I will always be grateful to Tone.

But enough about Tone, this is about thrice Academy and Emmy Award nominated, six time Grammy winning and my dear friend, Gaga. As I said, my own stupidity kept me from years of friendship with Ga – as only her best friends call her – and while that often wakes me in a cold sweat, I am glad at how quickly we developed the beautiful friendship we have.

Given she is busy residenc-ing and attendee literally every single award show on the planet, I decided to swing by for a post Oscar-nominees luncheon date and, you guessed it, run the odds for the Grammys.

Given she has made a splash in the film world I bequeathed her the honour of helping me pick who will take out Best Music Film and while I see merits in Whitney winning like Ga thinks, I can’t go past Quincy. While I am a dear friend of both Jay and Bey, neither of us can see them beating Childish Gambino’s This Is America.

Obviously I couldn’t bet against Gaga for Best Pop Solo Performance or Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, so we focused on me betting the house on Tony Bennett and Diana Krall’s Love Is Here to Stay for BEst Traditional Pop Vocal Album – though Babs is my most likely spoiler – and my love for Kelly Clarkson isn’t enough to make me bet against Camila Cabello’s creatively titled Camila taking out Best Pop Vocal Album.

While running all those odds can be hungry work, I know that the Academy serves calorie rich food at the nominees luncheon – checky during awards season, no? – so I opted to keep it light with a delicious Lady Gaugamole.

 

 

Nobody loves avocados more than I – excluding Queer Eye’s Antony, obviously – however I had never tasted guac perfection until I encountered Chipotle. Oh Chipotle, how I love you so! The spicy, glorious guac bursting from a burrito and washed down with some Pibb Extreme is my idea of heaven. But this is not an add, focus on their guac – fresh and zingy, it is perfect all by itself.

Enjoy!

 

 

Lady Gaugamole
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 ripe avocados
1 lime, zested and juiced
2 tbsp coriander
1 red onion, finely diced
1 jalapeño, roughly chopped
¼ tsp kosher salt
Tortea Leoni Chips, to serve

Method
Cut the avocados in half, remove the pit and mash the flesh.

Fold through the remaining ingredients.

Devour, with a big bowl of Tortea Leoni Chips.

 

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Earl Colecano

Baking, Main, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor: Fiji

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, we have a cast! I know we’ve officially known that Aubry, David, Kelley and Joe were Shangela-ing their ways back to the Island known Extinction for a couple of months, but we know who will be joining them!

Can I tell the difference between Chris, Dan or Eric despite one of them being bald? Nope. Do I care and love them all based on nothing else? Sure. Do I want Victoria’s hair? Of course. Are Julie and Reem going to be my fave newbies? Duh. Do I hope that Aubry and Kelley pair up like Aubry, Sandra and Cirie should have in Game Changers? Unequivocally.

Anyway, I have a lot of strong opinions about everything, so it was convenient that I had my dearest friend Earl Cole – the undisputed King of Fiji – drop by to join me and listen. While he wasn’t as opinionated as I was, he did agree that the winner is likely going to be someone that gets voted out pre-merge and manages to woo everyone whilst struggling on the Island Of Extinction.

While I am blindly hoping Aubry finally snatches a win, unless Joe channels Pearl Islands-era Savage, Hatch, Tyson, Locky or the Contenders boys and goes nude. In which case I am all in on him winning.

Given I quickly got thirsty, I needed something bready to sop everything up and distract me with a different kinda of joy. As such I whipped out a Milk Bar – third time this year, I know – Volcano, convenient rebranded as an Earl Colecano.

 

 

Like Bagel Bombs and Crack Pie before them, Milk Bar’s volcanoes are insanely addictive and delicious and can warm your soul even through the most brutal of polar vortexes. Creamy, herbed potatoes, sweet onion and a punch of gruyere are all you need to wash your troubles away.

Enjoy!

 

 

Earl Colecano
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 recipe Mother Dough, from Katey Sagal Bombs
3 garlic cloves
½ cup double cream
⅓ cup milk
1 bay leaf
1 tsp rosemary leaves, roughly chopped
1 tsp kosher salt
black pepper
100g streaky bacon, diced and fried until crispy
2 potatoes
vegetable oil
2 red onions, thinly sliced
1 egg, whisked
1 cup shredded Gruyère cheese

Method
Prepare the Mother Dough as per Katey’s recipe – which is totally Christina Tosi’s – and leave to prove.

Meanwhile crush the garlic with a knife and chuck into a saucepan with the cream, milk, bay leaf, rosemary, ½ tsp of salt and a good whack of pepper. Bring it to the boil over medium heat before turning off, covering and leaving to steep for half an hour.

Thinly slice the potatoes and cover with iced water.

Preheat oven to 160C.

Layer the potatoes in a small baking dish, sprinkling with bacon as you go, until you’re out of both. Strain the steeped cream, pour over the potato and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until golden on top and cooked through. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before covering with foil, topping with weights – aka cans – and transferring to the fridge to set for a couple of hours.

While the potatoes are setting heat a lug of vegetable oil in a small saucepan and add the onions and leave in the pan for a couple of minutes without stirring. After that, reduce heat to low, add the remaining salt and cook for about half an hour, or until soft and caramelly.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Divide the dough into four equal pieces and flatten to form 20cm discs. Split the onions amongst the discs and top with a square of the potatoes. Oh, cut the gratin into squares – there will be left overs and on behalf on Christina, you’re welcome. Fold up the edges and pinch to enclose before rolling into a ball and placing on a lined baking sheet.

Brush the dough with egg and cut a deep X in the top of each. Fill each with a quarter of the cheese, leaving excess to erupt out the top. Transfer to the oven and bake for half an hour, or until golden, brown and the cheese is crispy.

Leave to rest for ten minutes before devouring. If you can.

 

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Lamber Tarkich

Baking, Main, Survivor, Survivor: All Stars, Survivor: Edge of Extinction, Survivor: The Australian Outback

I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I mean, we just exited the latest Survivor Dark Ages with the killer albeit horribly named David vs. Goliath, and we’re entering a season named Edge of Extinction. Which without spoiling, actually screw it you need to be warned – features the return of Redemption Island instead with worse rules and a new name.

Will I still watch it and likely love it like a good superfan? Sure. But I am concerned about what it means for Survivor movie forward. The one thing giving me hope is that a season that ends with every person voted out on the jury and the first boot winning, could give us Gabon levels of insanity. Which is literally the best case.

Anyway as I am wont to do, I’m assembling some of my favourite winners – or at least the remaining winners – to help countdown to the new season. And likely do some sort of ritual to steer it towards Gabon.

As you know I am a dear friend of Romber and even introduced them and tee-ed up their alliance which led to love, The Amazing Race, marriage and four daughters. It also makes me responsible for All Stars so either you’re welcome or I apologise, depending on your views on the season.

I’ve known Amber since the filming of Australian Outback after trekking to find the set in search of Probst. While my unintended meddling screwed over Kucha far more than it did Ogakor, I did kinda screw over Amber’s game by wooing Colby – who I must catch soon – and turning him against Jerri – who I also must catch soon – setting up her downfall, she soon moved past the pain after introducing her and Rob.

While we haven’t had an official cast reveal yet, we do know that Aubry will be returning – hopefully with an edit this time – alongside second chancers Kelley and Joe, and Family Guy writer David who I assume was emboldened by Mike White’s success last season. Given the twist seems tailor made for the likes of Joe to finally succeed, I am hoping it backfires and either Kelley or Aubry rank highest amongst the returnees. Amber obviously is hoping that Kelley will snatch victory and complete her Brkich narrative, albeit over three seasons.

It was as robust conversation as it could be without being able to spoil the rest of the cast, however it was a delight to catch-up, talk smack about Rob continuously spoiling the switch and merge tribe colours with his Instagram posts and smash a big ol’ Lamber Tarkich.

 

 

Based on a number I saw whilst browsing Taste.com.au, this tart is a delicious, quick meal to throw together during the week. Not that I don’t believe Amber isn’t worth effort, because she dominated All Stars and played Rob to perfection (… and still ended up married) so don’t at me. Sometimes simply is best, packed with spice and fresh flavours, it will have you salivating from the moment it goes into the oven.

Enjoy!

 

 

Lamber Tarkich
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 tbsp tomato paste
4 garlic cloves, minced
500g lamb mince
1 tbsp ground cumin
2 tsp ground coriander
2 red chillies, sliced
¼ cup pine nuts
1 lemon, zested and juiced
small handful mint, roughly chopped
10 sheets filo pastry
50g butter, melted
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
2 tomatoes, deseeded and diced
½ tsp sumac
1 red onion, diced
small handful flat-leaf parsley
100g feta, crumbled

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Heat a good lug of oil in a large skillet and cook the tomato paste and garlic for a couple of minutes. Add the mince, spices and chillies, and cook for five minutes before stirring in the pine nuts, lemon and mint, and removing from the heat. Set aside to cool slightly.

Brush each sheet of filo with butter -bar the top one – and stack on each other. Fold the edges inward to form a rough rectangular shape and place on a lined baking sheet. Stab the base with a fork and transfer to the oven to bake for ten minutes, or until lightly golden. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.

To assemble, smear the centre with Hummus and top with the lamb mixture. Combine the tomato, sumac, onion, parsley and feta in a bowl and sprinkle over the top. Place in the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until golden and warm.

Devour.

 

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Pizzalia BBoqa Chicken

Main, Pizza, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, TV Recap

Seconds ago on Survivor the David tribe were shocked to discover Jeremy had been voted out of the game over, I assume, Queen Natalie when they filed in for the latest challenge. Before that could happen however, before Bi announced to everyone that she would be following Jeremy out the duo due to her sprained MCL. With that, Probst sent her to the water’s edge to await a boat and classed her departure as a quit.

While Bi awkwardly hung around out of shot waiting for her boat, Probst announced that sike, it isn’t a challenge, instead the tribes will be switching things up, once again adding a third green tribe to join the orange and purple OG tribes. Davie was thrilled at the turn of events, while everyone else looked to be a combination of fear and shock. As everyone unveiled their new buffs, Carl discovered that he didn’t have one which appeared to anger him more than anything else. The new David tribe now goes by Vuku and consists of Davie, Elizabeth, Alec, Natalia and Kara, much to Dan’s chagrin. Speaking of Dan, he is on the newly formed Tiva tribe with Christian, Gabby, Alison and John while the Goliath tribe is changing its name to Jabeni and is made up of Natalie, Mike, Angelina, Nick and Lyrsa. Carl, of course, is going to exile island and will join whichever tribe loses the next immunity.

We followed the new Vuku tribe back to camp where Alec, Natalia and Kara were delighted to see that the plebs had managed to build themselves a killer camp. The all introduced themselves and played nice, though Davie was stressed about the fact that all of the new tribes have a minority of Davids. He then tried to make his first white friend – his words, not mine – in the form of Alec to try and find a crack, while Elizabeth worked overtime to find some common ground with Kara and Natalia. Given she and Kara have a horse bond, Natalia started to get super nervous and was paranoid that Kara would jump ship to her pony pal Liz. The three Goliaths connected though and assured each other that they wouldn’t be stupid enough to turn on each other. Which is totally happening, right?

Poor Carl arrived at Exile Island, lamenting how alone he is. Well, until he discovered a note, promising an advantage hidden in a coconut by the shore. With that, he was off, running through the rocky waves to find a marked coconut, unaware that its actually safely resting on the shore. He discovered that he is the first owner – in the US – of the idol nullifier, which he can play as everyone votes. If he plays it on a person that tries to play their idol, its power is null and void and they will be voted out of the game.

Mike was not loving life on the new Jabeni tribe, given they’re probably the five weakest people in the game. Though he was positive about the fact he’ll go to tribal a lot, which is good. Natalie however was not feeling it, forgoing introductions with Nick and Lyrsa and instead barking orders at people to get the camp sorted whilst sitting in her throne. Her attitude filled Lyrsa and Nick with hope, given Mike and Angelina are clearly over it. Nick approached Mike about forming an alliance and hot damn, I love the idea. Particularly since Mike was cool with naming their alliance the rock stars in honour of Ned Schneebly.

Last but not least we checked in with the new Tiva tribe who were starting from scratch. Dan and John were doing the lion’s share of the work, however coached Christian in how to chop wood. Christian then got answers to the demographics of slam town, conducting an impromptu census and damn I need them to go to the end together. Christian’s new bro-bonds started to make Gabby feel insecure, worried about being the odd one out and the obvious first target. She broke down to Christian, who gave her a peptalk and damn, add her to the final three with the Slamtown local government and I’ll be a happy man.

My boy Jeffrey returned for the first three-way immunity challenge of the season where two blindfolded members of each tribe would be required to wheel a caller through a series of obstacles to retrieve a ball, which the remaining two blindfolded tribemates would use to solve a table maze for immunity. Better still the first place tribe get a series of brownies, pastries and coffee. Gabby guided the Tiva tribe to an early lead, while Vuku and Jabeni struggled. I then noticed the George Bushy of Tushy’s tushy and damn, I’m moister than an oyster. Tiva started working on the table maze while Kara guided Vuku into second place, while Angelina and Natalie wheeled around in last place. While Vuku started to close the gap, Tiva snagged immunity and reward while Angelina, Mike and Lyrsa pulled off a miracle, overtaking and snatching immunity – just – sending Vuku to tribal council.

Back at camp Elizabeth was feeling extremely nervous due to being in the minority. She pulled Davie aside and told him to come and help her search for an idol to save themselves, unaware that Davie in fact has the idol. Elizabeth was hoping to use the hypothetically idol to take out Natalia, however Davie felt that the Goliaths were solid and wouldn’t turn on each other. As such, he approached Kara and Natalia and spilled all of Elizabeth’s plans to hopefully get them to get rid of her over him. This angered Natalia as she was already feeling like Elizabeth was trying to snatch her bestie Kara from her, so she was all in on taking her out.

Speaking of Elizabeth, she approached Alec to encourage him that now is the perfect time to on its head and build his resume. She reminded him that the Goliaths will be hard to work through, so flipping to her and the Davids would give him a better path to get to the end. Alec was smart enough to know that turning on his allies would send a dangerous message to the other tribe, leaving her to agree to take out Davie instead. She may be playing the sweet country girl, but Elizabeth is a smart player and knows when to pick her battles.

Alec took this plan back to Kara and Natalia, selling Davie as the bigger threat. Natalia had zero interest in submitting to his opinion, wanting to get rid of Elizabeth and then going between Alec, Kara and Davie to get them to pledge their loyalty to her and guarantee their votes. This made Alec even more annoyed, since bullying Davie wasn’t even necessary for them to get their way at tribal. This made Davie realise that they aren’t in fact as tight as he thought, so he too approached Alec to join him and Elizabeth to take out Natalia. While he wasn’t committal, they agreed to make eye contact if they want to flip at tribal which seems fraught with disaster.

At tribal council they were joined by Carl who would watch tribal before joining the tribe after the vote. Natalia quickly assured Probst that one of the Davids would be going home, with Elizabeth agreeing that she was pooping her pants with nerves at tribal while Davie said he was nervous before throwing her under the bus as a JIC. Natalia angered Alec by saying the game is afoot before saying she’d be happy going home tonight if it means she went out guns blazing. Elizabeth continued to play to Alec, talking about big moves with Natalia unwittingly joining her saying that they are necessary but timing is important. This prompted Alec to get up and start whispering to Elizabeth, pissing off Natalia who demanded to know what they were talking about. Alec simply mentioned he wanted to make sure they were on the same page.

While Kara was cool with that explanation and was confident they were still together, Natalia was not and continued to antagonise him. Alec assured Kara he wasn’t flipping, she assured Natalia they weren’t flipping, however Natalia looked nervous and assumed Kara was turning on her. With that the confused tribe voted, Davie opted against playing his idol and Natalia was shocked to see herself becoming the fifth boot. She rivaled Michaela with her rage, glaring at Alec, telling him to shut up and getting confused about where to place her torch. After it was snuffed she yelled at Kara asking if she knew – she didn’t – before telling Alec to stop smiling before stopping and tripping her way out of tribal and into Loser Lodge.

She was pissed by the time she arrived. I mean, Summer Roberts rage-blackouting over Alec turning on her and the vague scent of doughy Italian emanating from the oven.

“Is that pizza? Did you f&^%$&g cook me pizza, despite knowing it is proven to curse players?!”

Yep – once again my pizza curse has struck, ruining her game like Liz, Nick, Bianca, Sam, Taylor, Lou, Jack, Michelle, Tara, Roark, Jessica, Gonzalez, Brendan, Steph, Karla, Liam and Jess before her (relax remaining 37’ers, you’re not cursed). Though when they taste as good as my Pizzalia BBoqa Chicken, she really can’t complain. Well, too much at least.

 

 

Pillowy dough and gooey cheese sandwiching the glory of sweet, shredded chicken and just soft onions are almost enough to distract from the saltiness that comes with a brutal blindside.

Almost.

Enjoy!

 

 

Pizzalia BBoqa Chicken
Serves: 2-6.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup passata
a small handful of fresh Italian herbs, roughly chopped
2 chicken breasts, cooked and shredded
½-1 cup BBQ sauce
1 red onion, sliced
cheddar and mozzarella, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Smear the bases with passata and herbs. Toss the chicken through the BBQ sauce and scatter over the base with the sliced onion and top with the cheese.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Devour immediately, terrified to think that this curse just won’t reverse.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.